大家好 Hello, everybody.
大家好 你好 Hello. Hello.
你們好啊 Greetings!
這景色實在是太棒了 That doesn't get any worse.
大家好 Hello.
大家好 歡迎你們 Hello, and welcome!
歡迎大家來到GT的現場 Welcome to The Grand Tour,
並且 本周依舊 which, once again, comes to you
我們還待在蘇格蘭的尼斯湖畔 from the shores of Loch Ness in Scotland.
那麼... Now...
我們本周依舊在這裡的原因是 上周節目結束之後 The reason why we're still here is, after last week's show,
這倆貨跟城裡的一位本地兄弟交流了一下 these two got talking to a man in the local town,
而這位當地的兄弟居然說服他們倆 說我身後的湖裡 有一隻水怪 who has convinced them that, in that lake, there is a monster.
額 這裡的確有一隻水怪啊 Well, there is a monster.
你親眼見過嗎 Have you seen it?
沒有 但是那位兄弟說的很可信啊 No, but the man was very convincing.
他有沒有向你兜售 上面繡著水怪的茶巾啊 Did he sell you a tea towel with a drawing of the monster on it?
有倒是有 但是現在我們就知道那水怪長什麼樣了啊 He did, and now we know what the monster looks like.
沒錯 我們還有一張水怪的照片 Exactly. We've also got photographs of the monster.
-你看 我們能看到一隻水怪 Look, we've got this one. -祇是一塊原木而已 That's a log.
然後還有這張照片 看看這個吧 And we've got this one. Look at that!
-絕對的水怪 Monster. -另一根木頭而已 Another log.
你們能看看我找到的照片麼 就是它了 Can I just draw your attention to a picture I've got? Here it is.
額 你這可算不上怪物啊 對吧 Well, that's not a monster, is it?
不 你說得對 這是一隻象鼩 No, that is an elephant shrew. Well spotted.
不過 這可是動物界的日產GTR啊 Now, this is the Nissan GT-R among animals.
你們有沒有看過這小東西跑起來的樣子 太驚人了 Have you ever seen it on the move? It's phenomenal!
速度快過閃電 並且過彎的時候好似有下壓力助攻 It leaves a rooster tail and it corners like it's got downforce.
但是我想說的是 這是一種非常罕見的動物 But my point is, this is a very rare animal,
但是即便如此罕見 它的照片依舊如此的清晰 色彩如此的艷麗 and yet the photograph of it is in sharp focus and colour.
但是 你們口中的水怪 所有的照片都是黑白的 Now, all the pictures of your monster are in black and white.
-額 也許水怪就是黑白色的呢 Well, maybe it is black and white. -並且還很模糊 And blurry.
也許水怪就是模糊的呢 Maybe it's blurry.
這破事已經煩了我一個星期了 於是我決定 This has been driving me mad all week, so I decided
前去蘇格蘭的 老實說 非常出色的地方開車兜兜風 to go for a drive on some of Scotland's, let's be honest, brilliant driving roads.
這裡的...這裡的路都非常的棒 They are... They are fantastic.
並且實際上 說到這裡 And actually, speaking of which,
有個東西叫 北部高地議案 是查爾斯王子提出來的 something called the North Highland Initiative, set up by Prince Charles,
幾年前這個議案結出的果實就是蘇格蘭'北海岸500' a few years ago it came up with the North Coast 500.
這本來有可能是蘇格蘭版的美國66號公路 Now, this was going to be Scotland's answer to Route 66 in America.
綿延數英里的驚人美景 非常出色的一條路 Miles of amazing scenery. Incredible road.
我這裡有一張照片 Got a picture of a bit of it here.
看看吧 Look at that.
多麼了不起的成就啊 Huge success.
很多願意花錢的金主們跑到這裡 Loads of big spenders came
開著自己的蘭博基尼 法拉利或者是保時捷 with their Lamborghinis, and their Ferraris and their Porsches.
賓館房間客滿 餐館人頭攢動 Hotels were full, restaurants were packed.
當地的經濟發生了爆發式的增長 Local economy booming.
那麼 各位認為距離當地報紙寫出帶有 So how long do you think it was before the local newspaper
如下單詞的新聞頭條花了多長時間? carried a headline containing the following words:
"警察"還有"取締" "police" and "crackdown"
10天吧 Ten days.
-祇要2天 Two days. -就2天啊 Two days.
"哦 我們不能讓他們這麼開車啊 "Oh, we can't have people driving along that!
...你們會撞到行人的啊" You might run into a pedestrian!"
這是條公路啊 It's a road!
我知道啊 現在再看 你們有了A9公路 I know it is. And then you've got the A9.
160公里無盡 且均勻分布的測速攝像頭 Ninety-nine miles of continuous average speed camera.
-160公里嗎? Ninety-nine? -足足160公里啊 Ninety-nine miles.
現在 不好意思 你們這些人 我假設你們都是狂熱車迷可以吧 Now, I'm sorry, you lot, I presume you're all petrolheads, yes?
可以 Yes!
讓我問你們一個問題 So let me ask you a question.
多年以後 你們垂垂老矣 躺床上等死的時候... Dying in your beds, many years from now...
...你們願意拿出從今天起到臨死前的生命 ...would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that,
交換一次機會 for one chance,
就一次機會 just one chance,
回到今時今日 跟蘇格蘭的交通測速機構說 to come back and say to the Scottish Safety Camera Partnership,
"你們可以吊銷我的駕照 "You can take our licences,
但是你們不能掠奪我的自由" but you can't take our freedom."
自由 自由 Freedom! Freedom!
自由 自由 自由 自由 自由 Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!
看看你都乾了什麼好事 Now look what you've done!
謝謝大家 Thank you.
看看你幹的好事 Look what you've done!
-我知道 I know. -這可是很危險的啊 That's dangerous!
-我知道 I know. -咱們還是開始節目吧 Let's get on with the show.
沒錯 在今晚的節目中... Yes. In tonight's car programme...
一隻螞蟻在罐子裡 An ant in a jar.
一條狗被牽著 A dog on a lead.
一些豆子放在了桌子上 And some beans on a table.
但是首先 But first,
當某些人想買一輛大型且飛快的四門轎車時 when someone wants to buy a large and very fast saloon car,
他們都傾向於購買一輛德國車 they tend to buy German.
這些人認為別無他選 They think there is no alternative.
但情況是這樣的嗎 But is there?
這就是雷克薩斯GS F This is the Lexus GS F.
並且馬上就能發現 這不是輛非常高顏值的車 And straight away, we can see that it isn't an especially handsome car.
並且因為這是一輛雷克薩斯 And it's a Lexus,
也就潛在表明了它的主人是一個高爾夫球愛好者 which marks its owner out as a golf enthusiast
並且還可能...挺煩人的 and possibly... a bore.
並且情況在你同這輛車生活一段時間之後 會變得更糟 And things are worse when you try to live with it for a while.
這其中最鬧心的就是 拋開方向盤上的各種按鈕不談 The most annoying thing, apart from the buttons on the steering wheel,
它們能把收音機從一個你極度討厭的頻道 換到另一個你不太討厭的頻道 all of which seem to retune the radio to a station you don't like very much,
把這些都拋開不談 每次你想伸手 apart from that, every time you reach for
去杯架裡拿起一罐功能飲料的時候 a can of zesty drink in the cup holder...
我又碰到它了 I've done it again!
你總是會不自主的蹭到這個鼠標 You can't help but nudge the mouse
把衛星導航的目的地設定在你現在所在的位置 which sets the destination on the satnav to where you are.
前方300米 右轉 In 300 yards, right turn.
我不需要你來告訴我怎麼走 I don't need to be told how to get here.
我已經在這裡了 I'm already here.
右轉 下一個路口右轉 Next right, then right turn.
上帝啊 現在它又要試圖讓我調頭回到剛才的位置去了 Oh, God. Now it's trying to make me go back there a few yards.
我剛才就在那裡啊 I was there!
那麼 除了這個繁瑣又煩人的導航... So, apart from a fiddly and annoying satnav...
右轉 下一個路口右轉 Next right, then right turn.
...你的7萬英鎊還買來了什麼? ...what else do you get for your £70,000?
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合60萬人民幣
額...說真的 不太多 Er... Not much, really.
嗯 你買不來車載Wi-Fi Er... You don't get Wi-Fi
也買不來蘋果的CarPlay 或者是手勢控制 or Apple CarPlay, or gesture control.
甚至都沒有雙離合變速器 You don't even get a DSG gearbox.
在你行駛的過程中 座椅也沒有按摩功能 Seats don't massage you as you drive along,
自動泊車更是別想了 it can't park itself.
但是你卻能擁有一部DVD播放器 But you do get a DVD player.
多麼有1996年的風情啊 And how 1996 is that?
這輛車 配置很低 並且還很煩人 This car, then, is sparsely equipped and annoying.
然而 它也有比較出色的一面 However, it's also rather good.
首先 先說說它的引擎 First of all, there's the engine.
寶馬和奔馳都使用渦輪增壓引擎 來平衡動力需求 BMW and Mercedes both use turbocharging to balance the need for power
...和政策法規上的排放需求 with the need for good emissions...
但是這輛車卻不是這樣 but this doesn't.
它把汽油混合上空氣 然後沒有任何花俏的技術 This mixes the fuel with the air, and then, with no trickery at all,
直接爆炸輸出馬力 blows it up!
當然 這也的確意味著GS F對於動物們不是那麼的友好 Of course, that does mean the GS F isn't very kind to animals.
而這是件大大的壞事啊 別理解錯了 And that's a bad thing, make no mistake.
但是好處是 聽聽這車子的聲浪吧 But on the upside, listen to the noise it makes!
在轉速區間中部 它聽上去很邪惡 At medium revs, it sounds baleful,
感覺就像...一條孤獨的狗 like a... lonely dog.
但是當你把轉速■上去 它聽上去就像是這樣: But when you build the revs up, it sounds like what it is:
一台自然吸氣的5.0升V8引擎 a normally aspirated five-litre V8.
它可不會輸出 像其德國對手產品那樣的 It doesn't produce anything like the power or the torque
渦輪增壓式的馬力和扭矩 you get from its turbocharged German rivals,
而是純粹的激情 but for sheer excitement...
感覺就像是一位女神給你撓癢癢 It's like being tickled by a goddess.
並且它也算不上一輛慢車 And it's not exactly slow.
它能在4.5秒內完成0-96km/h加速 It does 0-60 in four-and-a-half seconds.
並且油門踩到底 能夠做到274km/h的極速 And flat out, it'll do nearly 170 miles an hour.
接著說它的操控性 And then there's the handling.
很難相信這是一輛體型巨大且非常舒適的五座轎車 It's hard to believe that this is a large and extremely comfortable five-seater
並且後備箱還大到允許你放置高爾夫球具 以及作為一個富人的全套裝備 with a boot that's big enough for your golf bats and all your Freemasonry paraphernalia,
因為...它感覺就像是一輛跑車 because... it feels like a sports car.
你可以使用這裡的各種旋鈕和按鈕 來改變車子的性情 You can change the way the car behaves with various knobs here and buttons here,
但是我把所有的電子系統都關掉了 but I've got everything turned off
這樣我就能了解 這輛車在沒有電子駕駛輔助系統的介入下是什麼感覺 so I can get a feel for how the car behaves without an electronic safety blanket.
並且我很喜歡 And I like it!
看看它啊 Look at that.
在低速下 轉向不是那麼優秀 The steering's not brilliant at low speeds,
但是當你把車尾像這樣甩出去之後 but when you've got the arse hanging out like that...
簡直太贊了 it's fantastic!
贊 Yes!
是時候再來一口功能飲料了 Time for another zesty drink.
哦 該死 Oh, damn it!
-300米後... In 300 yards... -我知道我在哪 I know where I am!
前方右轉 隨後右轉 Next right. Then right turn.
我的上帝老天爺啊 Oh, for God's sake!
作為一輛日常使用的汽車 德國車明顯要出色很多 For living with on a day-to-day basis, German cars are far better.
但是作為一輛駕駛者之車 你也許會認為這個結論很驚人 But as a driving machine, and you may find this conclusion surprising...
我認為GS G絕對吊打其他 I think the GS F has them licked.
部分動物在影片製作過程中受到傷害
現在... Now...
現在我必須要說 今年稍晚些時候全新寶馬M5就會發布了 Now, I should point out, there is a new BMW M5 coming later this year,
但是新M5一定要有點本事才可能超過GS F but it'll have to go some to be better than that GS F.
-沒錯 It really will. -好吧 好吧 好吧 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
但是究竟有多少動物在拍攝過程中受到了傷害 But exactly how many animals were harmed in the making of it?
-很多啊 A lot! -這其中居然還有一隻烏龜 One of them was a tortoise!
我知道 咱們不要在意這些細節 好吧 I know. Let's gloss over that, OK?
現在該看看這輛雷克薩斯在埃博拉機庫究竟能跑多快 And let's find out now how fast the Lexus goes round the Eboladrome.
這也就意味著 當然 要把它交個一個 And that, of course, means handing it over to a man
認為水果都是蘇聯產物的男人 who thinks that fruit is from the Soviet Union.
沒錯 他就是老美 Yeah, it's the American.
他躍躍欲試 準備好了 He's coiled and ready.
然後就出發了 And he's off!
在非直彎的前半部分釋放471匹哀鳴般的馬力 Unleashing all the 471 wailing horsepower for the first sprint of the Isn't Straight.
車裡這一堆亂七八糟的都是什麼鬼 What the hell does all this shit do in here?
他祇需要兩個踏板和一個方向盤來釋放車子的全部力量 All he needs is two pedals and a wheel to unleash the full shock and awe.
牽引力控制? Traction control?
如果你想要一個能自己思考的物件兒... If you want something with a mind of its own...
買一匹馬 或者結個婚啥的 get a horse, get married.
很幸運 老美並不需要各種電子保姆的照顧 Fortunately, he doesn't need the electronic nannies.
非常大膽的衝進你來定彎道 Pushing it hard up to Your Name Here,
現在又大力踩下Brembo剎車 and now leaning on the mighty Brembo brakes.
小心點 讓扭矩控制差速器來解決問題 Gentle now, letting the torque-vectoring diff do its thing.
接著又回到了直道 讓偉大的V8引擎繼續吟唱 And then back on the throttle so that mighty V8 can sing its song once more.
如果他們能讓我帶自己的槍 我現在想給自己來一槍 If they would have let me bring my gun, I'd have probably shot myself by now.
打死你多浪費你的才華啊 And that would be a waste of great talent.
好的 回到了非直彎的加速直道 Right, another fast dash up the Isn't,
現在 到達老太太房之前 8速自動變速箱飛快的降檔 and now shifting rapidly down the eight-speed automatic as he arrives at Old Lady's House.
車子非常精準的通過潮濕的賽道 Feeding it precisely through there on this damp track,
接著在死亡變電站之前的直路上全力加速 before opening it up for the broken surface down to Substation.
讓不可調節的懸掛系統在這裡好好鍛煉一下 Giving the fixed-rate dampers a good workout here.
祇剩下兩個彎道 Two corners left.
整齊的通過這裡 Tidy through there.
祇剩下羊圈彎 Just Field of Sheep to go.
踩著路邊的邊界右轉 然後就衝線了 And he's right on the edge of the grip and across the line!
看上去不賴 看上去不賴 It did look good. It did look good.
-的確看上去挺好 It did look good. -成績怎麼樣呢 How did it do?
那麼現在看看這輛車在圈速榜上能排在什麼位置 Well, now let's find out where it goes on the Lap Board.
別忘了 賽道上很潮濕 Remember, it was damp.
也就是說它要比已經是舊款的寶馬車慢 So it's slower than an already-out-of-date BMW,
這輛車讓你看上去像一個土老闆 it makes you look like a Freemason,
並且還會導致動物的自我爆炸 and it causes animals to explode.
是 沒錯 但是-- Yes. Yes, but--
沒錯 這祇是你另一個格外'優秀'的購車推薦 傑里米 Yes, but it's just another of your excellent recommendations, Jeremy.
非常感謝你 大家別往心裡去 Thank you very much. Never mind.
沒錯 非常感謝 Yes, thank you very much, indeed.
現在我們必須要繼續了 And now we must move on,
因為是時候 設定一下導航 because it is time to set the satnav for destination chat,
前往我們的 侃大街了 as we head down Conversation Street.
-很疼的 It hurt. -真的嗎 That hurt?
-真的很疼 It hurt. -真的嗎 不過肯定沒有上周我腦袋挨的那一下酒瓶子疼 It did? But not as much as the wine bottle last week.
那麼 奔馳車 最近他們想到了一個主意 Now, Mercedes, they've come up with this plan, or this idea,
具體就是 你可以在不使用自己汽車的時候 出租你的車 where you can rent your car out when you're not using it.
這是不是有些像...Airbnb Is that a bit like erm... Airbnb?
*Airbnb共享經濟的疑似鼻祖 祇不過它經營的是房子
就跟Airbnb是一樣的 Exactly like Airbnb.
但是奔馳沒有意識到一件事 就是 The thing Mercedes haven't realised is that we,
我很確定大家跟我的感受是一樣的 and I'm sure you all agree with me,
我們跟自己的車 有著一種特殊的情感 we form an emotional bond with our car.
-我們跟車是一種附屬關係 We're attached to them. -沒錯 Exactly.
所以出租自己的私家車 就好比出租你自家的寵物 So renting it to someone else would be like renting out your pet.
沒錯 或者是自己的丁丁 Yeah, or your penis.
-沒錯 Yes. -我跟它可是一種特殊關係啊 我是說 I'm attached to it, I mean. That's what I mean.
大家也是這麼想的 One would hope so, yeah.
你可不想看到被人跟它一起愉快的玩耍啊 You wouldn't want to see somebody else having fun with it.
-不 那是我的 No, it's mine! -沒錯 沒錯 Exactly. Exactly.
我就是這個意思 奔馳很顯然認真思考了這個計劃 And that's what I'm on about. Mercedes has obviously got it into its head,
這也是讓我擔憂的地方 因為奔馳是一家大型的企業 and this really worries me, because it's a large car company,
他們把車子視為工具 就好像家裡的微波爐或者冰箱 that cars are just tools, like microwave ovens or fridge freezers,
然後人們會毫不介意愉快地說"沒事 借去吧 我不在乎" that we'll just sort of gladly, "Borrow it. I don't really care."
你說的很對 人們對於私家車都是很有感情的 You're absolutely right. They are very emotional.
因為你知道你買了輛車 最終你會賣掉它 Because you know if you have a car, eventually you sell it,
但是 當你看到有別人開著它四處玩耍時 心裡總是會感覺不舒服 but then you see somebody else driving around in it, that always feels bad.
感覺就像是看著你的前女友跟別人做愛一樣 It's a bit like watching your ex-girlfriend do sex with someone else.
是啊 經過在她衣櫥裡糟糕的一夜之後 我懂得 No. And after a terrible evening in a wardrobe, I know.
很詭異的不爽 It's strangely undermining.
不好意思打斷一下 你們看見湖裡的圓形物了嗎 I'm sorry to interrupt. See those circles in the lake just there?
水怪 一定是水怪大人來了 Monster! Monster! It's a monster!
-我看見...有別人看見了嗎 I just saw... Did anyone else see that? -水怪 一定是水怪 Monster! Monster!
水怪是真的 早跟你說過了 It's real. I told you.
鑒於我們無法達成共識 問問大家 尼斯湖裡到底有沒有水怪 Since we can't agree on this, is there a monster in the loch?
有 Yes!
好了 明白了吧 這些人住在這裡 他們很清楚 Right, there you go. They live here, they would know.
如果這裡沒有水怪 這裡依靠水怪繁榮的旅遊業可怎麼辦啊 And if there were no monster, what would you do for a tourist industry up here?
那就賣上面沒有水怪的茶巾好了 Sell tea towels without monsters on them.
不 我不這麼想 因為就照你之前說的那樣 No, I'm not having that, because what you're saying is,
"歡迎來到美麗的蘇格蘭" 你也說過 精緻的道路 美麗的景色 "Come to beautiful Scotland." As you've said, lovely roads, lovely scenery.
這裡還有賓館 美麗的尼斯湖 There's a hotel, a beautiful lake.
為啥當地人還要說"我們這裡還有一隻水怪呢" Why would they say, "Yeah, but there's a monster"?
就好比我們說"歡迎來到約克郡 That would be like saying, "Come to Yorkshire.
這裡很美的 我們這還有瘟疫呢 你造麼" It's beautiful. We've got the plague, you know?"
-本地人才不會那麼傻呢 They they wouldn't do that. -我們貌似有些跑題了 We've got distracted a little bit.
-我們的確有些跑題了 We have got a bit off-topic. -我們之前說到哪來著 What were we talking about?
我們說到鼴鼠藏在前女友的衣櫥裡 We were talking about him hiding in a wardrobe,
看著前任和別人親熱 watching an ex-girlfriend have sex.
-沒錯 這貌似又是過度分享 Yeah, that was an over-share. -的確是過度分享 It was a bit of an over-share.
不是說這個 就是說把他的丁丁出租出去 我記不太清了 It was either that or he'd rented his penis out. I can't remember.
差不多就是這些吧 Something along those lines.
但實際上 關於我們的私家車和我們的感情 But actually, there's a point I just want to make on this
我的確有那麼點事想說 about this emotional connection we have with our cars.
因為你們知不知道報廢一輛車的情形 非常的悲慘 Cos you know when you scrap a car? It really is very tragic.
當你看著和你有著無數回憶的愛車被送進破碎機中 When you watch a car that's got all those shared memories going into the crusher.
-這就是世界末日 It's the end of the road. -沒錯 It is.
不過現在...有了一個組織 There's this... a new organisation.
它叫"慈善汽車" 你可以把自己的車捐給他們 It's called Charity Car, where you can give your car to them,
他們負責處理所有的文件工作 然後把你的車開走 they deal with all the paperwork and what have you and take your car away.
然後他們把籌集來的善款捐贈給你指定的對象 Yeah? And then they give the money that they raised to a charity of your choice.
-這是個好主意 我喜歡 That's a nice idea. I like that. -這是個好主意 It is a nice idea.
這樣 儘管你的舊車被拿走了 So that, you know, it's sad your old car's gone,
但是...你也知道 一頭驢會因此被拯救了 but now... you know, a donkey can be rescued.
你舊車的生命 在一頭驢臉上的笑容中延續下去 And your car lives on in the smile of an abandoned donkey.
這是個很美麗的事 我們就是這樣一檔有愛心的節目 That's a beautiful thing. That's what we're about.
我們的節目就是這樣 全是愛心啊 That's what this show is, it's all heart.
-我們就是這樣的人 It's what we are. -愛心和交通安全 這兩樣是... Heart and road safety: those are the two pillars
...我們整個節目的兩大基石啊 that underpin everything, really, on this show.
-我這裡還有一個話題 I've got some conversation for you. -是嗎 Have you?
沒錯 還記不記得有個網站可以告訴你 Yes, which is that there's a website that tells you
某種車子在英國的馬路上究竟還剩幾輛的那個網站 how many of any given type of car are still left on the roads of Britain today, yes?
*具體應該是TopGear.S17的某一集...吧 網址在這:http://www.howmanyleft.co.uk
我想我們要聽到一些壞消息了 And I'm afraid we have some sad news.
沒錯 這是一個令人擔憂的消息 Yeah, we do. This is a big worry.
你們還記不記得雪鐵龍Saxo VTS 就是它 You remember the Citroën Saxo VTS, yeah? There it is.
一輛當年小混混的專用車 The car of the angry yob.
這是偷東西 然後出來跑路的理想車型 It is the ideal car to nip out and steal a chainsaw in.
一輛非常出色 很刺激的小鋼炮 我很喜歡 A fabulous, proper, fizzy little hatchback. Loved it.
但是 在2008年 還有5000輛行駛在路上 Well, in 2008, there were 5,000 of them on the road.
今年 路上祇剩491輛了 This year, 491 left on the road.
並且 實際上...我知道 很令人擔憂 And, in fact... I know, this is a worry.
大家看 我們做了個圖表 我們畫了這個圖表 Look, we've got a little chart. We've drawn this up.
按照目前的淘汰率 在2019年 所有的車就都會消失了 At that rate, by 2019, they'll all have gone.
同樣命運的還有沃克斯豪爾的Calibra 16V There's also the Vauxhall Calibra 16V.
這裡有張照片 我們過去都很喜歡這車 There's a picture. We used to love that.
你們知不知道 這車祇有323輛存世了 Do you know, there are only 323 of those left,
這款車會在一年內消失滅絕 and they could be extinct within a year.
然而有趣的是 全世界有無數的人們 And what's interesting is there are people all over the world
在致力於拯救老虎滅絕 working hard to save the tiger from extinction,
但是卻沒有人在意拯救沃克斯豪爾Calibra 16V but nobody is doing anything to save the Vauxhall Calibra 16V.
-我們的確說出了些正經事 We've identified something here. -也不算 No, there isn't.
不過 這其中也有一些好消息 比如說Morris Ital However, there is some good news in all of this. The Morris Ital.
175000輛...狗屎被製造出來 175,000 of these... turds were made,
被奧斯汀車廠'拉'出來 were squeezed out by the Austin.
在2015年 祇剩下35輛 And in 2015, there were only 35 left.
沒錯 大家可以歡呼了 Yes! Now you can cheer!
-這是個好消息 That is good news. -絕對的好消息 It's good news.
祇有35輛存世了 Only 35 on the road.
不 等一下 等一下 等一下 你說的很對 No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're absolutely right.
但是在慶祝之前我要是 2015年有35輛車存世 But before you celebrate, yes, 35 left on the road in 2015.
-然後呢 Mm-hm. -但是2017年 居然有47輛 In 2016... there were 47.
啥 數字不跌反漲? What, so they're going up?
-它們還會繁殖麼 Are they mating? -不 不 No. No.
我認為是有人在修復這款車 I think people are restoring them.
-什麼人 What people? -瘋子 Mad people.
無論如何 你說的對 但是我做了計算 Anyway, look... No, you're possibly right, but I've done a calculation.
按照這個增長率 這可是一年增長了34%啊 And at that rate... That's a 34% increase in just one year.
按照這個增長率 到2044年 And at that rate, by the year 2044,
所有175000輛Morris Itals都會回到路上 all 175,000 Morris Itals will be back on the road.
-我的上帝啊 Oh, my God! -這就是災難啊 This is a disaster.
這就是- 女士們先生們 這就是英國脫歐啊 It is. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Brexit.
這就是他們想要的:和不列顛一起退步 That's what they want: backwards with Britain.
好 到時間了 今天的侃大街到這裡就結束了 It is time now, since we've reached the end of Conversation Street,
先掛個倒擋 看看這輛車 to select reverse and have a look at this.
這是賓利添越 This is the Bentley Bentayga.
一個魁偉的 奢華的 四驅 A massive, luxurious, four-wheel-drive
獵裝版的SUV SUV shooting brake.
問題是 The question is,
它是否真的如此 還是說祇是一堆... is it any good, or is it a load of...
什麼詞兒呢 What's the word?
手淫村
為了解開謎底 我們船長把它帶來了這兒 Well, to find out, James brought it here...
德國境內的阿爾卑斯山脈 to the German Alps.
好 直奔主題 Right, I'll get straight to the point.
這絕對是極好的 It is tremendous.
關於這輛車最重要的東西是 The important thing to remember about this car is this.
它既不是越野也不是SUV It's not an off-roader, it's not an SUV.
最最重要的 它是賓利 First and foremost, it's a Bentley.
這就是它的本質 That's what this car is about.
我已經愛上它了 I'm already loving it.
但是 後來...你猜怎麼著 But then... guess what?
問題來了 一輛賓利添越乞丐版 The problem is that a barebones Bentley
要花16萬英磅 costs £160,000,
*按當前匯率約117萬人民幣
但是 少花12000磅 and for £12,000 less than that,
*按當前匯率約為10.4萬人民幣
你就能擁有這個 you can have this.
一個能歌善舞 一切都是標配的 An all-singing, all-dancing, everything-fitted-as-standard
5.0升機械增壓發動機的路虎攬勝 supercharged Range Rover.
或者 比攬勝再便宜12萬磅 你也可以擁有這個 Or, for £120,000 less than that, you can have this,
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合130萬人民幣
全新捷豹F-PACE the new Jaguar F-PACE.
並且 同那傢伙不同 這是一個花園小洋房 And it's not like this thing is a garden shed.
它有超多設計精巧的東西 It's got loads of clever stuff on it.
所以 如果你扛了一堆東西 So if you're coming back from the shops
從商店回來 手裡滿是采購成果 with your arms full of heavy bags,
你可以用腳打開後備箱 you can open the boot with your foot.
沒錯 但是同樣的事路虎攬勝也可以做到 -Yeah, but I can do that with a Range Rover. 是 但卻要多花12萬英鎊 -Yes, but it's £120,000 more!
但你沒有這其中之一 看 -And you don't get one of these. Look. 啥啊 -What is it?
防水便攜式手環 It's a waterproof, go-anywhere bracelet
這個 你可以使用它來鎖車... that you use to lock...
或解鎖它 還可以啟動引擎 and unlock it, and start the engine,
所以你不再需要常在口袋裡裝一把鑰匙了 so you don't need to carry keys in your pocket.
這個... That...
那的確是一個好主意 -That's actually quite a good idea. 我也覺得 天才之舉 -I know, it's brilliant.
你怎麼給他充電呢？ -How do you charge it up? 我不知道 可能跟某些手錶一樣吧 -I don't know. Maybe it's like one of those watches.
噢 哈嘍 Oh, hello.
吹牛老爹來了 Puff Daddy is arriving.
*美國說唱歌手 原名肖恩·科姆斯 立志把Hip pop推向主流
看他像不像脖子上披了一條鎖鏈 Do you think he's wearing a chain?
你知道 那個東西可是一般捷豹四倍的價錢呢 You know, that thing costs four times more than the Jag.
這不像這個車標這樣與眾不同 And it's not like the badges are that different.
那個捷豹祇是...一輛車啊 That Jag is... a car.
這可不僅僅是對事實的陳述 This is more of a statement.
還是一個對人類生存環境的 This is a new way of understanding
全新理解方式 the condition of being human.
是對奢華最高詮釋 It is the last word in luxury.
這可真是一個昂貴的陳述啊 It's a very expensive statement, though.
我是說 如果你有錢去買那玩意兒不如去買個捷豹 I mean, if you've got the money to buy that, you could buy the Jag
並且還有13萬磅省下來雇個公關代理人 and still have £130,000 to spend on a PR agent
*約合95萬RMB
去把你弄到早餐頻道向大家吹牛你有多偉大 to put you on breakfast TV talking about how great you are.
它祇是多花了13萬磅 It costs £130,000 more for a reason.
捷豹 專為懷有想成為浪蕩公子 Jags are for deluded middle-aged men
這一極具悲劇色彩幻想的無知大叔準備 who entertain tragic fantasies about being Lotharios.
我知道 我已經有四輛啦 I know, I've had four of them!
拜託 如果你是在說那哪個品牌最美幻象 If you're talking about brands with delusion 哈嘍 -hello!
賓利 這就是他的本質 -Bentley, that's what it is. 夥計 -Guys.
什麼？ -What? 我們是不可能在停車場裡解決爭端的 -We are not gonna sort this out in a car park.
我們需要去兜兜風 We need to go for a drive,
並且 我已經地圖上規劃好了線路 知道嗎 and I have worked out a route on this map here, OK?
我們在...手淫村 We are in the village of... Wank,
然後 我們將穿越手淫村前往...接吻村 and we'll go from... Wank to Kissing,
再到達...愛撫村... then on to Petting.
再然後 這個地方 Then... this place.
來到花燭洞房... And then... Wedding.
所以 手淫 親吻 愛撫 然後結婚 So, Wank, Kissing, Petting, (BLEEP), Wedding.
對的 這將是一場不出中歐就穿越了整場人生的旅行 Yes. It'll be a journey through life without leaving Central Europe.
耶 這絕對是 乾吧 Yeah, it will. Let's do it.
好激動 Very excited,
我們在德國人口中的浪漫路出發了 we set off on what the Germans call the Romantic Road.
因此 我們正在駛離手淫村 So, we are leaving the town of Wank.
那是啥 "謝謝你..." What's that? "Thank you for..."
什麼？噢 耶 What? Oh, yeah.
僅僅過了幾分鐘 And after just a few minutes,
就發生了件極不尋常的事 something very unusual happened.
夥計們 Guys...
我想不到說什麼了 I can't think of anything to say.
真是如釋重負 What a relief.
不 但是我真的不能 No, but I really can't,
因為如果你真的想要一個大型的奢華越野 because if you want a large, luxury off-roader,
肯定是買路虎攬勝啊 you buy a Range Rover.
完畢 The end.
完畢 繼續別的事 The end, move on.
船長 然而 James, however,
對添越似乎有炒雞多話要說 had lots to say about his Bentayga.
嘿 兄弟們 你們知不知道 Hey, chaps, did you know
我車裡的立體音響有18個揚聲器 the stereo in my car has got 18 speakers?
那就是全部了 我的有27個 Is that all? Mine's got 27.
但 全是辣雞 Yeah, all playing rubbish.
謝謝 哈蒙德 Thanks, Hammond.
事實上 27個揚聲器並不是重點 Actually, 27 speakers is not the point.
我的車載音響是1950瓦的 My car stereo produces 1,950W,
史上最牛逼的車載音響 沒有之一 making it the most powerful stereo ever put in a car.
事實上 唯一的問題就是 它的確會製造些許噪音 In fact, it's about the only thing in here that does make a noise.
這就像在不列顛圖書館裡一個人開車 This is a little bit like driving along in the British Library.
非常安靜閒適 It's very quiet, it's very refined.
地毯很厚 The carpets are very thick.
這意味著你會非常吃驚這玩意帶給你的觸感 Which means you simply aren't ready for what happens
當你踩下油門的時候 when you put your foot down.
所以 這個是擁有600匹馬力的W12引擎 So this has an all-new W12 600-horsepower engine,
並且這就像皮革配料的火山噴發 and it's like being in a leather-trimmed volcanic eruption.
這不是加速 他在爆發 It doesn't accelerate, it goes off.
天哪 Bloody Nora!
可悲的是 對於這一點 傑里米有些話要講 Sadly, at this point, Jeremy thought of something to say.
看到那個了 那是希特勒寫了我的奮鬥的監獄 See that? That's the prison where Hitler wrote Mein Kampf.
*我的奮鬥 書名 作者希特勒
呃 你究竟想說些什麼 Yeah. Where are you going with that?
沒啥想說的 真的 Nowhere, really.
祇是覺得你可能會想知道 Just thought you might like to know.
很好 回到車的話題上 Good. Let's get back to the cars.
現在 你可能會想 因為捷豹屬於那個同樣擁有路虎的公司 Now, you might be thinking that because Jaguar is owned by the same company
所以 這就是一個路虎神行者貼了一個捷豹的商標 that own Land Rover, this is just a Freelander with a Jaguar badge on it,
但事實上 它不是 but it's not.
車身之下 是同捷豹XE一樣的鋁製框架 Underneath is the same basic aluminium structure you find under a Jaguar XE,
也就是一輛不可思議的汽車 所以 這就是一輛好車 which is a fantastic car, so that's good.
我的確祇有一個3.0升渦輪增壓V6引擎 I do only get a 3L supercharged V6,
意味著車子有375的馬力 which means 375 brake horsepower.
說老實話 比詹姆斯的真皮內飾的奧迪Q7少了整整225匹 That's 225 less than James's, let's be honest, leather-lined Audi Q7.
但 這個更輕 But this is light,
所以 這個更輕巧精神 so it ain't no slouch.
我喜歡這車的操控感覺 I like the way this thing handles itself.
我喜歡它轉向時的感覺 I like the way, when you change direction,
當你轉彎時 它可以控制它車身的重量 在車軸左右分配重量 when you turn, it controls its weight, what there is of it, across the axles.
這使它十分敏捷 富有激情 That makes it feel nimble, eager.
這感覺並不像我坐在搖搖欲墜的寬敞豪宅裡 It doesn't feel like I'm sitting in a stately home falling off a cliff.
很快 船長來擋道了 Soon, James was in my way.
噢 看吶 Oh, look.
詹姆斯 你應該來我這兒 你可以看見白金漢宮和... James, you should be where I am. You can see Buckingham Palace and...
噢 不 原來那是你的車屁股 Oh, no, it's the back of your car.
我喜歡我的夥計跟在我的身後的感覺 你們有帶週末行李嗎 I like it when my man is following me. Do you have the luggage for the weekend?
來啊 船長 Come on, James.
你可能擁有世上最大的馬力 但是你還是擋了我的道 You might have all the horsepower in the world, but you are in the way.
好好呆在那 伯明翰的小男孩 Stay with that, Birmingham boy.
詹姆斯 你會不會擔心加速時你車裡的傢具會滑走 James, are you worried all your furniture will slide about if you go any faster?
噢 隧道 Oh, tunnel.
棒極了 我有重要的事情要做 Excellent. I have important work to do.
說真的 這幫平民什麼事都要搞出很大的動靜 Honestly, the plebs make such a noise about everything.
這才是SUV的S啊 That is putting the S back in SUV.
運動型多功能車中的'運動'啊 This is a sporty sports-utility vehicle.
並且這個運動還不是指釣魚這類的 And the sport is not fishing.
很不幸 我們的娛樂時光被大猩猩憂慮的嗓音打斷了 Sadly, our playtime was then interrupted by a worrying call from Clarkson.
額...兄弟們 我收到了威爾曼先生的短信 Erm... guys, we've had a text from Mr Wilman.
上帝啊 上面說什麼了 Oh, God. What does it say?
短信說 為了測試我們車子的性能表現 It said that to sort out the performance differences,
我們要前往附近的一個機場 we should go to a nearby airstrip,
在那裡 會有一些比賽項目 where he'd laid on some competition.
於是我們就去了 So we did.
兄弟們 這就是我們的對手 Chaps, this is what we're up against.
寶馬X5 M BMW X5 M.
4.4升雙渦輪引擎 567匹馬力 4.4L, twin-turbocharged, 567 horsepower.
這是個很難辦的對手 That is fairly serious competition.
如果你仔細想想 這其實是英國和德國的對決 If you think about it, it's gonna be Britain versus Germany.
也算不上 你們倆的車是印度公司 我的車算是德國車 Well, not really. Your two cars are Indian and mine's German as well.
好吧 那就是印度和德國的對決吧 All right, it's gonna be India versus Germany,
而我和我輕量的捷豹 會是最終的贏家 and I shall be victorious in my mighty lighty Jaguar.
-好的 Right. -你等著吧 你才不會贏呢 Well, you see, you won't be.
哪輩子都不會是你贏的 Not in a million years.
耽誤各位時間看我們比賽了 Sorry about wasting your time with this race.
廠方大可以發布一款可以跑幾百萬km/h的車子 You could launch a car that does a million miles an hour
售價祇要8毛錢 還能在水上飛 and costs 8p and runs on water,
但是人們依舊會買路虎攬勝 and people would still buy Range Rovers,
因為...為什麼不買呢 because why would you not?
好的 空調關閉 OK, air-conditioning is off.
懸掛動態模式 變速箱運動模式 It's in dynamic mode, gearbox is in sport.
加油啊 小捷豹 Come on, little Jag.
這場比賽中 我倒是不擔心熊大和熊二 So I'm not really worried about Pinky and Perky's challenge,
但是寶馬的確讓我很擔心 but the BMW does worry me.
幾乎一樣的馬力數 並且它還有著顯著輕量優勢 Almost as much power, very obviously lighter.
很多富裕的英國人們 A lot of well-to-do people in Britain
都會想知道這場比賽的結果 will want to know the result of this race
因為這樣他們就可以決定 明年狩獵季 before they choose what colour Range Rover they'd like
他們要買什麼顏色的攬勝了 for next year's shooting season.
賓利要去哪啊 Where's the Bentley gone?
我要輸了 各位朋友們 I'm losing, everybody.
加油 Come on!
241km/h 哦 不 150... Oh, no!
哦 不 他怎麼會有這麼多的馬力 Oh, no! Where is he getting that from?
輕鬆愉快 Easy.
最後一名 零蛋的最後一名 Last. Stone-dead last.
該死的 Bugger it.
哦 棒哦 恭喜啊 詹姆斯 Yes, yes. Well done, James.
哦 誰能想到 如果你花四倍的錢買車 Oh, who knew, if you spend four times as much on a car,
結果祇是比別人快那麼一丁點 you get one that's a tiny bit faster than another?
閉嘴! 你們還是不理解這其中的道理 是吧 Ssh! You two just haven't got the message, have you?
-什麼 你輸了的道理? What, that you lost? -是啊... Yeah. Well...
不 道理很明顯啊 就像內褲一樣 懂嗎 No, the message is very clear. Underpants, OK?
你可以去超市的打折貨架去買內褲 You can buy a cheap pair from a market stall,
也可以買貴的要死的縫金線名牌產品 or you can buy an expensive pair with gold thread in them,
或者 你可以像所有人一樣 去Marks & Spencer's買內褲啊 or you can do what everyone does, you go to Marks & Spencer's.
Marks & Spencer's 如果您不是英國觀眾 Marks & Spencer's, if you're watching this not in the UK,
就是我們英國人買內褲的地方 is where we all buy our pants from.
額 我就不去那裡買內褲 Well, I don't.
比賽結束之後 我們又回到了我們的旅途中 After the race, we resumed our journey,
而船長和鼴鼠又回到了互掐模式 and Richard and James resumed their bickering.
F-PACE這個名字是什麼意思 聽著就像是個家用清潔用品的名字 What does F-PACE mean? It sounds like a domestic cleaning product.
我認為你的賓利把兩個後視鏡去掉 換上雪花石膏做的獅子會更好看 I think your Bentley would look better with alabaster lions instead of door mirrors.
我想問你的捷豹 是不是手套箱永遠是鎖著的 I was going to ask if the glovebox is permanently locked shut in the Jag,
因為那裡放著你的錢包 because that's where you keep your wallet.
*諷刺捷豹車主都是不願意付賬的'機靈鬼'
你賓利車的前臉醜死了 The front of your Bentley looks silly.
看上去有些蠢 It just looks a bit daft.
為啥你沒有得到Brian Sewell的舊工作呢 And why was it you didn't get Brian Sewell's old job?
*英國著名藝術評論家
請問你的賓利添越選裝包中 Does the options list for your Bentley Bentayga
是否提供古代油畫裝飾啊 include oil paintings of imaginary ancestors?
很抱歉各位要聽到這兩個人發出的噪音 I apologise for the noises these two are making.
我清楚各位現在坐在家裡想 I realise you're all sitting at home going,
"他們在爭些什麼 我祇想要一輛攬勝" 一定是這樣 "What are they on about? I just want the Range Rover." Of course you do.
你買添越的唯一理由就是 你的嘻哈樂唱片銷量登頂了 The only reason you'd buy the Bentley is cos your hip-hop record's gone to number one,
而你買捷豹的唯一理由是 你買不起攬勝 and the only reason you'd buy the Jag is cos you can't afford a Range Rover.
鑒於傑里米提起來金錢問題... Since Jeremy had brought up the subject of money...
我不清楚捷豹是怎麼做到3.4萬英鎊就能賣一輛 I don't know how they can sell you one of these for from 34 grand.
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合30萬人民幣
而我手裡這輛 什麼選裝都有的 And this one, with everything on it,
況且還有機械增壓V6引擎 quite apart from a V6 supercharged engine,
但是有真皮內飾 iPhone連接多媒體功能 it's got leather everything, iPhone connectivity,
雷達車距控制 語音控制 電動行李箱 radar-distance control, voice control, electric boot,
還有可以戴在手上的智能手環鑰匙 magic key you wear on your wrist.
所有這一切祇要5.1萬英鎊 他們怎麼做到的 All of that still only costs 51 grand. How do they do that?
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合44萬人民幣
跟其他車放在一起 它簡直就是世紀大減價 Next to everything else, it suddenly looks like the bargain of the century.
傑里米 我的車要比你的好 Jeremy, this car is better than yours.
額 很顯然的不是好麼 Well, now, it just isn't, is it?
你現在純粹就是個...那詞兒怎麼說來著 You're being a... What's the word?
丁丁村
我們隨後飛快的穿過'接吻'小村 We then flashed through the village of Kissing,
盡快的穿過這個小村 getting it over with as quickly as possible.
隨後我們來到了'愛撫村' Then we went through Petting.
並且為了確保能按時到達... And to make sure we reached erm...
讓我們過夜的 旅程第三段 third base before bedtime,
我們決定設定一下導航儀 we decided to set our satnavs.
請說出國家名 Please name the country.
奧地利 Austria.
請說出城市名 Please name the city.
糙... Foo-cking.
請再說一次 Excuse me?
請再說一次 Sorry?
您的目的地是騷鎮嗎 Is your destination Selking?
不是 是...糙... No. Foo-cking.
卡鎮被設為目的地 請問您的目的街道 Kraking has been accepted. Which street should I select?
請再說一次 Sorry?
我不能說出來 大家都聽著呢 I can't say it. People are listening.
請再說一次 Sorry?
感謝上帝 哈蒙德決定在'世紀大減價'中手動輸入地名 Thankfully, Hammond had decided to program his bargain-basement system manually.
F
U
K
還真輸進去了 It's gone in!
很快 我們穿過了奧地利的邊境 And soon, we crossed the border into Austria.
奧地利真是非常非常漂亮 It's very, very pretty, Austria.
真是不清楚為啥希特勒對這裡那麼火大 No idea why Hitler was in such a bad mood.
最終 我們到達了... Eventually, we arrived...
這裡 here.
所以 這是我們這段旅程的'高潮'了麼 So is this the climax of this stage of our journey?
這一切是否真有如大家說的那麼棒 Is it all it's cracked up to be?
我就想知道這個 That's what I want to know.
因為你第一次(來這裡)的時候 通常會很失望 Cos often it can be a disappointment, the first time you go there.
我第一次來的時候 我都找不到'進來的路' The first time I came here, I couldn't find the way in.
在我們到達... Once we'd arrived in...
你懂得
船長非常急迫的邀請我們進入他賓利車的後座 ...James was very keen we should get in the back of his Bentley.
在一輛賓利車裡面非常顯眼的就是 What's really incongruous about this is that you're very obviously in a Bentley.
所有的元素都很賓利 All this looks very Bentley,
直到你往下看 發現這些按鈕上的標誌 until you look down here and see these symbols on this control knob,
看上去是一輛很明顯的越野車 and it's very obviously a serious off-roader.
哦 啥 那些標誌嗎 Oh, what, those symbols?
也就是說你可以設定成 沼澤地 地雷陣 聖誕節和墨西哥 真棒 So you can set it for swamp, minefield, Christmas or Mexico? Nice.
-沒錯哈蒙德 Yes, Hammond. -我再跟你們講講車裡木料的趣事 Shall I tell you something interesting about the wood,
車裡內飾採用的木料 or one of the woods you can have in this?
祇生長在亞洲的懸崖峭壁上 It only grows on a cliff face in Asia,
工人們祇能使用吊索滑下懸崖 使用特殊的工具採集木材 and the way they get it is they have to abseil down it with their woodworking tools.
為啥他們不直接使用長在平地上的木材呢 Why don't they just use wood from a tree that grows in a field?
車裡的所有配置都是標配嗎 Is everything standard in here?
-不 No. -不是? No?
-當然 No. -那這輛車現在要多少錢 So how much is this car?
-我們現在坐的這輛嗎 This particular one? -沒錯 Yes.
-差不多21.2萬英鎊吧 Is 212,000 and something. -啥? What?
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合183.6萬人民幣
所以你這輛車裡的所有選裝件 So that means the extras in this car
要比鼴鼠一整輛車都要貴 cost more than Hammond's entire Jaguar?
-你的捷豹多少錢 How much is your Jag? -差不多了 About the same.
-捷豹選裝所有配件 What, that Jag with all the extras? -我那輛要51450英鎊 That is £51,450.
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合44.5萬人民幣
而這輛賓利居然有5.2萬英鎊的選裝件 And this has got £52,000 worth of extras in it?
*按翻譯製作時匯率 約合45萬人民幣
選裝件的價格祇是比一整輛捷豹稍貴了一點點 It's just a little bit more on extras than the entire Jag.
真是...超值啊 It's great... value.
-我能說一句麼 詹姆斯 Can I just say, James... -請說吧 Yes, do.
我的確喜歡這輛車的內飾 ...I do quite like the interior of this car.
不 我真喜歡 老實說 我很喜歡這縫線的真皮內飾 No, I do. I'll be honest. I like the quilted leather,
我也喜歡那從懸崖邊上取材的木飾板 I like the wood that comes from a cliff and all of that.
但是它的外形 不好意思 醜爆了 But the exterior, I'm sorry, it's hideous.
-真心豬一般的醜 Ugly. Pig ugly. -是啊 你先等一下 Yeah, well, hang on a minute.
因為 你記不記得 很久很久以前 Because, do you remember, and it is a long time ago,
當賓利Continental GT剛發布的時候 when the Continental GT first came out,
我們一致認為它很醜 we all thought that was hideous...
-的確啊 It was. -現在...我們都很喜歡那車 ...and now we all love it.
-這是為數不多我們幾個有共識的事 It's one of the few things we agree on. -沒錯 說的對 Yes. Yes, that's true.
但是我覺得這車更像你本人 But I think this is more like you.
當我一開始見到你時 我認為你很醜 When I first met you, I thought you were ugly.
但是我現在依舊認為你很醜 And now I still think you're ugly.
好一位帥哥嘴裡說出來的一句多麼令人心碎的話啊 A crushing criticism from one so handsome.
-詹姆斯 James? -咋了 What?
給我把門鎖打開 Unlock the doors.
詹姆斯 請你把車鎖打開 James, please unlock the doors.
我們在...這麼個地方 We're in... this place.
還坐在車後座 In the back of a car,
坐在一起 together.
真是好神奇 對吧 所有那些地名... It is remarkable, isn't it? All those places...
我保證 所有那些地名都是真實存在的 I'm sure... All those place names are real.
-都是真的 沒錯 真實地名 They are real. Yeah, real places. -都是真的 They really are.
這些地名都是真的 Those place names are real.
無論如何 我們稍後繼續這段毫無意義的旅程 Anyway, we'll pick up that pointless test later on.
-才不是毫無意義呢 It's not pointless! -沒錯 就是沒意義 Yes, it is.
我已經用內褲的例子很好的解釋這其中的原理 I already explained it perfectly well with the underpants thing.
並且我稍後會用更多的例子來解釋 And I shall be explaining using more demonstrations later on.
-真棒呢呵 Oh, good. -但是現在是明星頭腦碰撞環節了 But now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash!
現在 我們的嘉賓... Now, our guest...
我們今天的嘉賓 our guest today,
他執導了蝙蝠俠 人猿星球 剪刀手愛德華 he directed Batman, Planet Of The Apes, Edward Scissorhands.
並且 在上周的水雷事故之後 And, after last week's mine disaster,
他決定用一個迷你潛水艇走水雷底下的路 來到我們的演播帳篷 he's decided to come to the studio underneath the mines in a miniature submarine.
女士們先生們 Tim Burton Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Burton!
這就是潛水艇 他在裡面 從水雷底下悄悄地通過 Here is the submarine. There he is, sneaking underneath the mines.
-機智啊 Clever. -就在他機智的向我們走來的時候 As he heads cleverly towards us.
-他就在我們外面的某地 He's out there somewhere. -他就在外面的某個地方 真神奇 He's out there somewhere. This is fantastic.
-我們一會兒跟他聊些什麼呢 What are we gonna talk to him about? -那話題太多了 There's so much.
-你想問他些什麼呢 What do you want to ask him? -想談點關於 聖誕夜驚魂 的問題 About The Nightmare Before Christmas.
這是我最喜歡的聖誕電影 It's my favourite Christmas film.
是嗎 我想問問跟強尼戴普工作是什麼感覺 Is it? I want to know what it's like to work with Johnny Depp.
是啊 太多想問的了 Yeah, there's a lot to talk to him about.
哦 咋了 Oh, hello.
我們失去了潛水艇內的視頻信號 We've lost the feed somehow from the sub.
哦我的上帝 上帝啊 Oh, God Almight... Oh, my God!
哦 不 Oh, no!
很顯然潛水艇內部發生了一些致命的問題 There's obviously been a catastrophic failure with the submarine.
-絲毫不清楚什麼原因導致的 No idea what could have caused it. -水怪攻擊了他 The monster's bitten it!
跟你說了幾百次了 哈蒙德 For the hundredth time, Hammond,
尼斯湖裡根本就沒有水怪 there is no such thing as the Loch Ness Monster.
這是不是說他來不了惹? Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
額 詹姆斯 他的肺部灌進了冰冷的湖水 人也沉入了湖底 Well, James, his lungs have filled with icy water, he's sunk to the bottom,
並且由於壓力作用 屍體被壓縮成乒乓球大小 and his body is being compressed to the size of a Ping-Pong ball.
所以來不了惹 So that is a no.
不過也沒關係 因為我們有備用計劃 It's OK, though, because we have a back-up plan.
-是嗎 Do we? -沒錯 Yes.
你看 問題是 最近- You see, the thing is, these days,
-最近很多車都有彈射起步 a lot of performance cars have launch control. -啊 對 沒錯 Ah, yes. Yes.
它工作的方式就是 左右腳同時分別踩住油門和剎車 The way it works is you put your foot on the throttle and brake at the same time,
並且車子的電腦會判斷彈射所需要的精確轉速 and the car's computer works out exactly how many revs you need
判斷車子恰好需要多少車輪空轉 and exactly how much wheel spin to give the car
也就是在你鬆開剎車的那一瞬間 so that you get an absolutely perfect start
能給你正好最完美的起步 as soon as you just take your foot off the brake.
沒從 我們很好奇 究竟什麼情況下能使用彈射起步 Yeah, and we were wondering, just when exactly can you use that?
如果你在市中心等紅綠燈的話... If you're in a town centre at a set of lights going...
-你懂我意思吧 Know what I mean? -有些粗魯 It's a bit rude.
沒錯 就像接下來這段短片解釋的那樣 It is, as this short film explains.
椰奶拿鐵 加一份焦糖糖漿 謝謝 Coconut-milk latte with a caramel shot, please.
好的 椰奶拿鐵加一份焦糖 OK, a coconut-milk latte with a caramel--
-這是幹什麼用的 -What is it for? -什麼用都沒有 -Pointless.
這是 不可能 The thing is, you can't...
你不可能在賽道上使用彈射起步 you can't even use launch control on a race track,
因為你祇有三到四秒的時間來彈射 不然整個系統就會被取消掉 because you can only engage it for three or four seconds before it cuts out.
而且你不知道燈什麼時候會變綠 And because you don't know when the lights are gonna go green,
你不知道什麼時候還有三秒鐘開始 是吧 you don't know when your three seconds start, do you?
沒錯 這就是為什麼我們認為 Exactly, which is why we have decided
它是最沒有意義的發明 it is the most pointless invention ever.
是的 說到沒有意義 Yes, and talking of pointless,
讓我們回到影片中 let's get back to our film.
我們在測試一輛路虎和一些別的車 We're road-testing a Range Rover and some other cars.
我們從一個叫萬柯的德國村莊出發 We began in the German village of Wank,
*Wank: 英文意為手淫
計劃穿過'接吻'和'愛撫' and the plan was to go through Kissing and Petting
最終到達我們的目的地 '婚姻' towards Wedding, which was our destination.
然後我們選擇了剛好能夠作為過夜地點的活動 '操… Yes, and we pick up the action having decided to spend the night in Fu--
第二天早上 我們在濕吻村醒來 We woke the next morning in this dew-kissed village.
在一頓尷尬的早餐之後 And over a rather awkward breakfast,
猩猩發表了一個聲明 Clarkson made an announcement.
我不是有意表現得傷人或是不尊重 I don't mean to be hurtful or disrespectful,
但是吧… but erm...
-繼續 往下說 -Go on, spit it out. -那個… -Well, it's...
雖然我們到了這兒 just because we've been here,
不代表我們必須要繼續到'婚姻' doesn't mean we necessarily have to go on to Wedding.
問題在我 不在你 It's me, it's not you.
不 他是對的 這一切都這麼美好 No, he's right. It's been going so well.
如果我們繼續下去到'婚姻' And if we go on to Wedding,
我們就要一直一直的走下去 we'll have to carry on and on and on,
穿過'日常' '厭倦' through Routine, Boredom,
'怨恨' '分居' Resentment, Spare Bedroom,
'誘惑' '出軌' Temptation, Affair,
'發現' '懊悔' '復仇’ Discovery, Remorse, Revenge,
'離婚' 然後是'死亡' Divorce, and then it's Death.
或者你可以通過'網上交友'走另外一條路 Or you could turn off through Online Dating,
'無意義的上床' '無止境的懊悔' Meaningless Sex, Bottomless Regret,
'經濟困難' 然後是'心臟病發作' Financial Ruination, and then Heart Attack.
反正最後還是在'死亡'結束旅程 And then you end up at Death anyway.
沒錯 哈蒙德 這也正是為什麼我建議 Exactly, Hammond. And that's why I'm suggesting
我們不去'婚姻' that instead of going to... Wedding,
而是前往紐伯格林 we go to the Nürburgring.
因為船長的車是唯一一個使用德語系統的 Because James's car was the only one that spoke German,
所以由他進行導航 he set the satnav.
目的地 紐伯格林 Ziel eingeben: Nürburgring.
然後我們就出發了 And then we set off.
很快 我們就上了德國的高速公路 Soon, we were on Germany's Autobahns,
這使我們開始思考德國人是多麼的通情達理 which got us thinking about how sensible they are.
現在我們在德國的高速公路上 And here we are on the Autobahn.
沒有限速 No speed limits.
造成混亂了嗎 沒有 Is it chaos? No.
如果取消限速的話 If you remove the speed limits,
人們就不會突然以320km/h的速度開上橋一樣 people don't all suddenly drive into bridge supports at 200 miles an hour.
我們沒那麼笨 就像你在野生動物園 We're not that stupid. Just as if you leave the gate unlocked
沒鎖獅子活動區的大門就離開了一樣 at the lion closure at a safari park,
我們不會一下子涌進去造成恐慌 we don't all run in and have a picnic.
在過去的15年裡 英國的經濟上漲了58% In the last 15 years, Britain's economy has grown by 58%,
而德國上漲了102% whereas Germany's has grown by 102%.
這是因為在我們以32m/h的速度行駛時 他們的速度是320km/h And that's because we're all doing 20 miles an hour and they're doing 200.
高速有利於商業發展 同時也拯救生命 Speed is good for business, and it saves lives as well.
因為當我們在英國的高速公路上時 Because when we drive down the motorway in Britain,
我們會一直看有沒有測速攝像頭 we're looking at all the gantries to see if they have speed cameras,
或者一直盯著邁速表確定沒有超速 or we're looking at our speedometers to make sure we're not breaking the limit.
而不是看著要走的方向 We're not looking where we're going.
嚴厲打擊限速導致死亡 Heavily enforced speed limits kill people.
德國的高速公路也讓我們感受到 The Autobahn also got us thinking
SUV隨著時代變化做了多少改變 about how times have changed on the SUV front.
非常的驚人 真的 一輛越野車 It is amazing, really, that an off-road vehicle
能感受到這樣的穩定 can feel this stable,
這樣扎根於地面 我想是這麼表達的 this planted, I think the word is.
因為就在不久之前 Because it's not that long ago,
當你想到早期的路虎等一些車 if you think about early Range Rovers and the like,
高速駕駛其實是非常嚇人的 going fast was actually quite frightening.
他們的遮陽板上有張貼紙 記得嗎 They had stickers on the sun visors, do you remember,
是一輛翻倒的車 with a picture of the car toppling over.
"避免突然轉向" "Avoid sudden swerves."
是的 我完全忘了 Yes, I'd completely forgotten
那個貼紙 不過沒錯 的確是有 about that sticker, but you're right, it did.
"操作方向盤會導致翻車" "If you operate the steering wheel, this vehicle will fall over."
-夥計們 - Chaps? -什麼 - What?
沒有限速 對吧 There are no speed limits, right?
所以我們可以開到車的極速 So we are allowed to go as fast as our cars will go.
但是誰敢這麼做 But who dares actually do that?
誰敢開到最快 Who dares go the fastest?
好吧 如果我們要這麼玩的話 算我一個 Right, if we're going to play that game, I might even join in.
好的 Bang on.
快點 詹姆斯 別客氣 Go on, James. Help yourself.
-看著點吧 300km/h 極速 -There you go, 187, top speed. -準備好了嗎 - Really?
現在的情況是 開始的時候你在我後面 現在你還在我後面 The thing is, you were behind me when you started and you still are behind me.
-我開到了306 -I did 190. -哦 天吶 不可能 -Oh, for God's sake! You didn't.
那比你車子的極速還要快 That's faster than your car will go.
為了終結這些廢話 In order to put a stop to this nonsense,
我們停在了下一個服務站 I made us pull in at the next service station.
好的 小型攝像機 Right, small cameras.
我們把攝像機裝在儀表盤上，這樣就能拍攝到車子的速度了NWe fix these to the dash where they can see the speedo,
這樣就不能作弊了 and then there's no cheating.
你從哪兒弄了一隻狗 Why have you got a dog?
我告訴你 跟我來 I shall show you. Follow me.
如果你想養一隻寵物 If you want a pet,
你可以選些貴的東西 you can have something expensive,
比如戴著銀項鏈的鬣蜥 like an iguana with a silver necklace.
或者養點便宜的東西 像是螞蟻 Or you can have something cheap, like an ant.
-什麼螞蟻 - What ant? -那種螞蟻 -That ant.
或者你可以按照常理養一隻拉布拉多 Or you can use your common sense and have a labradog.
在我聰明的示範結束之後 With my clever demonstration over,
我們返回了高速路 we got back on the motorway
並安好了鼴鼠的誠實攝像機 and mounted Hammond's honesty cameras.
但我還是有很好的作弊方式 I've got a good way of cheating still.
祇要我按下這個按鈕 看 Because if I push this button here, watch,
我的邁速表就從英里轉換到了千米每時 my speedometer changes to kilometres an hour.
他永遠不會發現 He'll never know.
對了猩猩 在你安裝攝像機的時候 And Jeremy, while you're setting your camera up,
別想著把它換成千米每時 don't think about changing your display to km/h
所以你就能得到更大的數據了 so you get a bigger number.
現在是測速的時間了 It was now time to begin the speed trials.
開始吧 來點兒大的 Here we go. Going for a big one.
開往速度和榮耀的世界 Into a world of speed and glory!
快點 奧迪 你肯定能看見我 Come on, Audi. You must be able to see me.
快點 Come on, come on, come on.
讓開 開奧迪的那個 快點 Out of the way. And you in the Audi. Come on.
隨著交通的緩解 As the traffic eased,
鼴鼠的速度逼近了240km/h Hammond was knocking on the door of 150 miles an hour.
現在是238 That's 148.
239 Forty-nine.
同時 我也相差不遠了 And I, too, was getting close.
240 快點 隨時都能到240 150 coming up. 150 any minute now.
快點 跟上 Come on, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it.
不幸的是 很難說船長到底開到了多少 Sadly, it was hard to say how fast James was going,
因為他是個弱智 because he's an imbecile.
哦耶 已經到那個數字了 Oh, yeah! That big number's coming up.
馬上就要241了 Got to beat 151.
去他的 Shit!
為什麼就跑不了更快了 Why won't it go any faster than that?
加油 Come on!
為什麼就是超不過238 Why won't you go any faster than 148?
最終 擁堵的交通結束了這次重要的測試 Eventually, heavy traffic ended this important test.
是的 由於我們在堵車 Right, as we are in a traffic jam,
我要宣布"誰敢贏"杯比賽的結果 I may as well give you the results of Who Dares Wins.
理查德·哈蒙德 249km/h Richard Hammond, 155 miles an hour.
我達到了路虎的極速 239km/h I maxed the Range Rover at 149.
詹姆斯·梅 由於他是個嘮叨的蠢貨 And James May, because he's a blithering idiot,
6000轉的轉速 6,000rpm.
那個蠢貨的車油箱還空了 The idiot's car had also drained its tank,
所以在他加油的時候 so while he was filling up,
我又做了另一個機智的示範 I set up another of my clever demonstrations.
先生們 看著 Gentlemen, observe.
你可以買副很貴的太陽鏡 You can buy very expensive sunglasses.
這副是用金子做的 These ones are made from real gold.
或者你也可以買副便宜的 Or you can buy very cheap sunglasses.
但我們都是怎麼做的 But what do we all do?
我們戴的都是雷朋 We all have Ray-Bans.
你知道你這樣挺討人厭的 是吧 You do know you're just being irritating, don't you?
你告訴我們所有事情都祇是你的車和內褲 All you've actually told us about your car is something to do with underpants,
鬣蜥還有太陽鏡有關 iguanas and sunglasses.
-我祇是在說 -I'm just saying. -不要說了 -Well, don't!
回到路上 我們繼續跟著船長 Back on the move, we continued to follow James
開往去紐伯格林的路 on our journey to the Nürburgring.
但過了一會兒 我擔心了起來 But after a while, I started to worry.
他在往哪兒走 Where's he going?
我們怎麼下了高速 Why have we turned off the motorway?
-詹姆斯 -James... -怎麼了 -What?
我要直說了 Well, I'm going to get straight to the point.
這不是紐伯格林 This is not the Nürburgring.
這是紐倫堡 It's Nuremberg.
-呃 好吧 但是… -Ah, well, yes, but-- -沒有"呃 好吧" -There's no "Ah, well" about it.
問題是 我並不怎麼會說德語 The thing is, I can't actually speak German,
唯一的一句是因為他站在瀑布下面所以手弄濕了 only the bit about hands being wet because he's under a waterfall.
但紐伯格林在英語和德語中的發音一樣 But Nürburgring is the same in English as it is in German.
我用車裡德語的語音控制試了一下 I did it with voice control in German with my car.
現在設成德語了 我說了紐伯格林然後 它砰地一聲確認了 It was set to German. I said Nürburgring and it went "blink"
-然後我說"是" 但這兩個名字挺像的 -and I said, "Yes." But it's a similar name. -別怪車了 -Don't blame the car!
好吧 是我發音不太對 Well, I didn't pronounce it properly.
這就像把我們倆的名字弄錯了就因為他們都是J開頭的 That's like muddling up our names cos they both begin with J.
這樣 我們不要糾結在這個問題上 Look, let's not get all bogged down
研究誰才是最蠢的那個 with who's been a massive idiot
儘管他聲稱自己什麼事都乾不好 and despite what he claims can't do anything properly.
-沒什麼 -Nothing. -我們幹脆就近找個賽道吧 -Let's instead look for a race track near here.
為什麼不試著找一個？ Why don't we try and find one?
這就是哈蒙德找的 And that is exactly what Hammond did.
在哪兒 Where?
就在你周圍 看 我已經標出來了 Well, it's all around you. Look, I've marked it out.
看 它繞到那裡然後上去再到那邊 Look, it goes around there and up there and along there,
之後下來然後繞到那兒 and then down there and round there.
這並不是個賽道 對吧 It's not really a track, is it?
不 比它更好 這是拉力賽道 No, it's better. It's rallying.
這將是紐倫堡史上的第一次拉力 This will be the first ever Nuremberg Rally.
好吧 不算是… 絕對的第一次 ell, not the... absolute first ever.
沒錯 He's right.
你是不是在想 如果我們在這騎摩托車繞上一圈 Do you imagine, if we did motorcycling round here,
就會變成紐倫堡史上第一次越野摩托賽 it would be the first ever Nuremberg Trials?
我們可以試一試 Well, we could give it a go.
我們先一步步來 好吧 Let's not run before we can walk, eh?
鑒於鼴鼠的賽道滿是曲折的彎道 Since Hammond's course featured twisting bends,
坑窪的表面 loose surfaces,
陡峭的下坡和隨處可見的大石塊 sheer drops and piles of enormous rocks everywhere,
我們需要先試跑幾圈 some practice laps were in order.
需要開慢點因為我會弄的都是灰 Slightly slow there cos I go round a dusty one,
還有這個…我也不知道是什麼 and then this is... I have no idea.
"危險" 好吧 我會注意的 "Danger." Right. I'll take note of that.
我不想從那兒掉下去 I don't want to fall off there.
哦 去他的 我真的不想從那兒掉下去 Oh, shit. I really don't want to fall off there.
現在這就有點嚇人了 Now, this bit is really scary.
是的 Yeah.
這容易讓人尿褲子 That's a bit of a trouser-changer.
哦 這就有點兒意思了 Ooh! Now, this is quite interesting,
因為在正常使用時 cos in normal use,
所有的動力都會被輸送到捷豹的後輪 all of the power is sent to the rear wheels in the Jag.
但它之後就會輸出動力 But it can then send power,
到前輪 最多達到50% up to 50% of it, to the front wheels.
好的 如果我不小心點在這上就要有大麻煩了 Right, this is where I can go very wrong if I'm not careful.
去他的 Oh, shit.
與此同時 克拉克森覺得他沒必要試跑 Clarkson, meanwhile, had decided he didn't need to have a practice.
你在幹什麼 What are you doing?
這是我等哈蒙德回來要做的烘豆示範 It's my baked beans demonstration for when Hammond gets back.
因為我們有便宜的超市的豆子 Because we've got cheap supermarket beans,
還有貴的… then expensive...
哦 天吶 我沒時間聽你說這些 Oh, God. I haven't got time for this.
然後 在它們中間 路虎… And then, in the middle, the Range Rover...
試跑結束之後 With practice over,
哈蒙德停在了計時圈的起跑線前 Hammond lined up on the beginning line for his timed lap.
理查德·哈蒙德 倒計時 3 2 1 Richard Hammond, begin in three, two, one.
開始 Go!
就是這樣 Here we go.
加油 哈蒙德 集中 Now, come on, Hammond. Concentrate.
哦 真是漂亮的輕微騰空加轉向過度 Oh! That was beautiful lift-off oversteer.
一點點剎車 然後… A little bit of a brake, and then...
哦 開得太快了 Ooh! That's too fast there.
我剛剛尿出來了 I just had a wee.
好的 我們猜他現在會說什麼 Right, let's predict what he's saying in there.
他會說牽引力控制系統沒有完全關死 He'll say the traction control won't be turned off properly.
因為你不可能完全關掉牽引力控制 Cos you can't turn the traction control off completely.
他會說 "我需要動力但它完全沒有" He'll say, "I need power and there isn't any!"
拜託 動力呢 Come on! Where's the power?
給點動力 Give me power! Give me power!
現在 這裡… 哦 不 Now, this one... Oh, shit.
實在是太快了 This is the really fast bit.
加油 寶貝 就是這樣 來點兒動力 Come on, baby! Come on. That's it. Give me power.
快速駛入這裡 Going in with big speed here.
現在 剎車 早一點 Now, brake early, early, early, early, early,
然後轉彎 and then turn in.
埋起來吧 Bury it.
我能比他快好幾公里 I'm gonna be miles faster than him.
但你沒有試跑過 Well, you haven't even done any practice.
-我知道 -I know. -說實話它沒這麼簡單 -It's honestly not that simple.
是的沒錯 Yes, it is.
加油 Come on!
有多快開多快 沒錯 就是這樣 Giving it all she can. That's it, there you go.
稍微加點油門然後衝線 Little burst and across the line.
5分56秒整 Five minutes 56 dead.
-算好嗎 -That good? -我不知道 -I don't know.
-5分56 -Five 56. -正好 -Dead.
贊 哦不是 你們看見我最後一段的時候了嗎 Yes! Or no! Did you see me at that last bit?
牽引力控制讓我沒法把動力全都發揮出來 The traction control just wouldn't let me put the power down there at all.
它就停在那兒了 你們看見我停在那兒了嗎 It stopped! Did you see me stop there?
-你為什麼拿著秒表 -Why have you got a stopwatch? -給他計時 -To time him.
不 看 No, no, no, no. Look.
-今天是幾號 四月二十六 -What date is it? April 26th. -哦 是的 沒錯 -Oh, yeah. Yeah, OK.
-四月二十六的… -April 26th at... -不 我有個更好的主意 -No, a better idea.
為什麼不用粉筆每天在車頂標記呢 Why don't we just chalk marks on the roof for every day?
-每次太陽出來的時候就多畫一筆 -Every time the sun comes up, OK, another mark. -沒錯 -Right.
詹姆斯·梅 距離開始還有 James May, you may begin
3 2 1 in three, two, one.
開始 Now.
梅為了大英帝國和德意志的榮耀開著賓利出發了 And May is off for Great Britain and Germany in the Bentley!
-他不喜歡高處 -He doesn't like heights. -是的 他不喜歡 -No, he doesn't like heights.
-他也不喜歡速度 -He doesn't like speed. -或者滑的東西 -Or slippery stuff.
所以說…他討厭的一切都在了 So... everything he hates.
儘管環境非常惡劣 Despite the hostile environment,
我還是決心要深度挖掘 I was determined to dig deep
賓利這個品牌的榮耀 for the honour of the Bentley badge.
有點滑 Slidey, slidey, slidey.
太棒了 柏油路 Yes, Tarmac.
你…你聽見了嗎 Did you... Did you hear that?
那是船長的輪胎摩擦聲 That was tyre squeal from James May.
爬上山脊 Up the ridge.
降一檔 Knock it down a cog.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
啊呀 Blimey!
這不太符合船長的風格 不是嗎 That wasn't very James May-ish, was it?
他會把自己嚇死的 He'll have frightened himself to death.
這段特別癲 That's the dippy bit.
看這兒 Look at this!
哦 他飛起來了 Oh! He got air! He got air!
我覺得他拼盡全力了 I think he's being committed.
猩猩 如果他打敗我了怎麼辦 Jeremy, what if he beats me?
-如果他打敗你了 -What if he beats you? -是的 -Yeah.
-你會死於羞愧而我會笑死 -You'll die of shame and I'll die laughing. -好吧 -Yeah, OK.
儘管他盡力了 這位老太太還是在彎道上浪費了很多時間 Try as he might, though, the old lady was losing time in the corners.
問題在於 這是一輛2.5噸重 並且還挺沉的一輛車 The trouble is, it is a two-and-a-half-tonne fairly long car,
你不能改變物理規律 and you can't change the laws of physics.
靠 這可不太好 Cor! That's not good.
哦 擺正方向 快點 Oh, get it straight! Come on!
哦 不 過頭了 Oh, no! I overdid it.
6分16秒 Six minutes 16.
所以他是16… So he was 16...
*按照翻譯製作時匯率 約合183萬人民幣
比你的車慢18秒 他的車價值21.2萬英鎊 18 seconds slower than you and his car is £212,000.
再說幾句這種話 把它寫下來 Say some more of that stuff. Write it down.
最後 是最好的車出場的時候了 Finally, it was the turn of the best car here.
3 2 1 Three, two, one.
開始 Begin!
他一次都沒有試跑過 He hasn't... done a single practice lap.
我是說 一次都沒有 I mean, not one.
牽引力控制關閉 這樣好了點 Traction control off. That's better.
看看 And watch this!
快速閃入 乾得漂亮 Flick it in. Nicely done.
閃回到另一個方向 Flick it back the other way.
在他開車的時候 覺得他應該是什麼樣的 端莊? While he's driving, what do we think he's being? Modest?
謙遜? 安靜? Self-effacing? Quiet?
他可能什麼都沒有說 他可能在集中精神 He probably isn't saying anything. He's probably concentrating.
是的 Yes!
哦 天吶 我簡直是太棒了 Oh, God, I'm good at everything.
無論如何 為了贏得這場比賽 However, in order to win this contest,
我無意於祇依靠自己超凡的技巧 I had no intention of relying only on my supreme skills.
你看 捷豹和賓利都是被作為公路車設計的 You see, the thing is, the Jaguar and the Bentley were designed as road cars
然後被賦予了一些越野的能力 and then given some off-road ability.
然而路虎是被作為越野車設計出來的 Whereas the Range Rover was designed as an off-road car,
然後有些跑公路應該有的能力 and then given some ability to work on the road.
祇是些細微的差別 It's only a subtle difference,
但這意味著我不需要沿著這條被踏平的路線 but it means I don't have to follow the beaten track.
我可以抄小路走 I can take shortcuts.
真是輛聰明的車 就是這樣的 It's such a clever car, it really is.
這輛車能探測到它所駛過的地形 This car senses what sort of terrain it's driving over,
隨後就能根據需要自動調節四驅系統中的差速器 and then engages or disengages the differentials accordingly.
你沒法開著賓利或者捷豹到這上面 You could not come up here in the Bentley or the Jaguar.
-太安靜了 我聽不見他 -It's quiet. I can't hear it. -他現在穿著什麼 -What's he in at the moment?
褲子?一罐豆子?拉布拉多? A pair of pants? Tin of beans? Labrador?
還會有一句蠢話… There'll be another stupid...
"你們都該買普通的選擇 祇有我的最好" "You get ordinary ones and mine's just the best."
路虎可以涉入一米深的水中 The Range Rover can wade through water
艱難通過 nearly a metre deep.
看看這 And look at it!
多麼棒的機器 What a machine you are!
現在我們祇要繞回到山上 Now we just pump back up the hill.
衝啊 Power!
來點動力 Power now!
他來了 There he is.
-不 等一會兒 -No, hang on a minute. -不 他在那兒 看 -No, he's there, look.
-但是… -No, but... -什麼 -What?
衝線了 And across the line.
他幾乎比你快兩分鐘 He's almost two minutes quicker than you were.
這不可能 That's not possible.
-你怎麼做到的 -How did you do that? -什麼 -What?
-這個 -That. -啊 你的車都是濕的 它不應該這樣 -Ah, your car's all wet, which it shouldn't be.
而且你幾乎比哈蒙德快兩分鐘 And you're almost two minutes faster than Hammond.
是的 但你看 問題在於 Yes, but, you see, the thing is,
你可以買一輛便宜的車 像是捷豹 you can buy a cheap car, like a Jaguar,
或者買一輛貴的 or you can buy an expensive car,
像是賓… like a Bent--
作弊 他這是在作弊 Cheat! Cheat! He just cheated.
整個影片都是在浪費時間 A total waste of time, that whole film.
完全是浪費時間 路虎要快上兩分鐘 A total waste of time. Range Rover, two minutes faster.
你作弊了 就是這麼簡單 You cheated, simple as that.
無論如何 你看 如果我們能先把爭吵擱到一邊 Anyway, look, if we can just put the bickering aside for one moment,
我得說 那輛小捷豹 I have to say, that little Jag was,
非常出色 的確如此 而且它是由一個 and it really was, brilliant. And it was designed
蘇格蘭人伊安·卡勒姆設計的 他出生於敦夫里斯 by a local boy, Ian Callum, born in Dumfries.
他所做的不祇有這些 他還設計了阿斯頓馬丁DB7 He didn't just do that. He also styled the Aston Martin DB7,
DB9 Vanquish 福特Puma 以及Escort Cosworth the DB9, the Vanquish, the Ford Puma, the Escort Cosworth.
-是的 他算是英國人 -Yeah, he's British. -基本上是 -Basically, yeah.
差不多是的 Well, pretty much.
是的 他是 He is. He is.
不管怎樣 不幸的是 他的新車並不像路虎一樣好 Anyway, sadly, his new car isn't as good as a Range Rover.
別狡辯 的確如此 Don't argue. It isn't.
在對他的極度失望之下 到了節目結束的時間了 And on that terrible disappointment for him, it's time to end.
非常感謝你們的收看 Thank you so much for watching.
謝謝你們的到來 Thank you all so much for coming.
我們下期再見 We'll see you next time. Goodbye.