1 00:00:26,258 --> 00:00:28,783 (TWO PRINCES PLAYING) 2 00:00:38,704 --> 00:00:40,228 JAMIE: Whoo! 3 00:00:40,305 --> 00:00:43,103 Oh, yeah! Yeah, you want to dance? 4 00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:45,302 You don't mind if l get up in there, do you? 5 00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:47,072 (TWO PRINCES PLAYING IN THE STORE) 6 00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:50,013 - This is kind of sexy. - Yeah. Love it! 7 00:00:50,082 --> 00:00:51,549 You're kind of sexy. 8 00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:54,711 You should take one of these. Very lightweight on your shoulders, ladies. 9 00:00:54,787 --> 00:00:58,279 Try it out, try it out. There you go. Feels good, yeah? 10 00:00:58,357 --> 00:00:59,346 Whoo! 11 00:00:59,858 --> 00:01:01,291 Whoo! 12 00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:03,492 Here. 13 00:01:03,562 --> 00:01:06,622 Follow me, ladies. Follow me to the cash register. 14 00:01:07,099 --> 00:01:09,033 I see you guys. You guys look like you smoke weed, right? 15 00:01:09,101 --> 00:01:11,296 Okay, you're gonna smoke a bowl, you're gonna buy one of these TVs. 16 00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:13,361 Philips, all right. You know, you're kind of high, feels good. 17 00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,168 Samsung, kind of last year. 18 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,867 Magnavox, bam! 19 00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:19,467 That's an explosion! You're stoned, it'll blow your mind! 20 00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:21,410 You want to go really small, I got this one. 21 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,506 Really small. Look at this flip-phone. Look. 22 00:01:24,983 --> 00:01:26,951 (MIMICS OLD MAN'S VOICE) "Hello, Joan. What are you doing?" 23 00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:29,920 - "l don't know. What are you doing?" - (NORMAL VOICE) "I'm great." 24 00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:41,065 - You are so bad. - Guys? Christy. 25 00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:42,927 Hey. 26 00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:45,259 (CHUCKLING) 27 00:01:46,371 --> 00:01:50,171 Said one, two princes kneel before you 28 00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:51,766 That's what I said now 29 00:01:53,078 --> 00:01:55,205 Here, take my card. Take my card. 30 00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:00,408 Take my card. Okay? Take my card. 31 00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:06,024 Go, Joan. Go, Joan. Go, Joan. Go, Joan. 32 00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:09,117 In the house. Go, Joan. Go, Joan. 33 00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:12,896 Oh. Sorry, Joan. 34 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,864 (CHRISTY MOANING) 35 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:20,867 Okay, squeeze the nipple. Squeeze the nipple. Harder. 36 00:02:22,374 --> 00:02:24,433 Okay. Oh, my God! 37 00:02:24,743 --> 00:02:27,075 - What are you doing? - Feel that. 38 00:02:27,412 --> 00:02:29,209 (TWO PRINCES BLARING ON SPEAKERS) 39 00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:32,175 We can't do this. Jerry's right out there. 40 00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:33,240 He can watch. 41 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,415 What makes you so damn sexy? 42 00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:38,881 Oh, my God. 43 00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:41,890 (AUTOMATIC DIALING) 44 00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:44,119 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - I promise you, man, 45 00:02:44,196 --> 00:02:46,824 80 watts is more than you'll ever need for a living room. 46 00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:48,865 Excuse me. 47 00:02:50,802 --> 00:02:54,238 - Hello? - CHRISTY ON PHONE: Oh, Jesus. Harder. 48 00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:55,630 Oh! 49 00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:57,971 - Okay. Oh! - What the... 50 00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:00,135 - JERRY: You fucking piece of shit! - (SLAPPING) 51 00:03:00,212 --> 00:03:01,611 You fucked up son of a bitch! 52 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,841 Christy! What the hell is wrong with you? 53 00:03:03,916 --> 00:03:06,214 - How can I ever trust you again? - CHRISTY: I don't know. I'm so sorry. 54 00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:07,582 - What the fuck is wrong with you? - No, l... 55 00:03:07,653 --> 00:03:10,247 You know, Fujitsu makes the same unit for 40 bucks less. 56 00:03:10,322 --> 00:03:12,415 - Really? - Yeah, but they don't sell it here. 57 00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,822 Oh... 58 00:03:13,892 --> 00:03:16,793 But I could get it for you, if you want. 59 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,022 Oh! Are you, like, okay? 60 00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:20,855 - Oh. - (AMBER LAUGHS) 61 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,366 - Yeah. - Okay. 62 00:03:22,434 --> 00:03:23,924 Give me your number. I'll let you know when I have it. 63 00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,058 Um... 64 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:26,899 - What's your name? - Amber. 65 00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:28,735 - You have beautiful eyes. - JERRY: Shut the fuck up, Christy! 66 00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:30,432 You. 67 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,201 Don't you ever fucking come in here again! 68 00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:36,270 You know what? You owe me commission on $54,000 worth of second-rate, 69 00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:40,114 knock-off, gray-market, off-brand, overpriced equipment, you son of a bitch. 70 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:42,176 I'll fucking kill you, you piece of shit! 71 00:03:42,254 --> 00:03:43,448 You know what? Why don't you just send it to me? 72 00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:44,546 Christy knows the address. 73 00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:47,991 Amber! 434-6603! 74 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,491 JOSH: Why don't you tell Daddy 75 00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:55,760 what a downtown Chicago hospital is really like? 76 00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:59,634 Patient brought in with chills, nausea, ischemia, clearly in shock. 77 00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:00,967 Did you do a CBC? 78 00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:04,133 HELEN: Excuse me, our protocols didn't exist when you went to medical school. 79 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:07,542 Oh! Yes, I've been under a rock these past 30 years. 80 00:04:07,613 --> 00:04:10,480 How many transdermal intubations have you personally done? 81 00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:14,679 My dear, I teach medicine. I no longer sully my hands touching actual patients. 82 00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:16,344 - Ha! - Touch patients? 83 00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:18,013 Why would anybody want to do that? 84 00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:20,081 You are not allowed in this conversation. 85 00:04:20,158 --> 00:04:22,353 Excuse me. I've helped more patients than you ever will. 86 00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:23,758 Can I pour this drink on your head? 87 00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:25,626 What is wrong with getting rich? 88 00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:27,665 God only knows you can't do that in medicine anymore. 89 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,600 - He's right about that! - Don't help him justify his laziness. 90 00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:32,830 I already justified my laziness. 91 00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:36,203 It's called $35 million on my first IPO. 92 00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:37,764 Jamie, help me. 93 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:41,279 - He's a geek who got lucky. - And he'll always be a geek. 94 00:04:41,346 --> 00:04:43,280 (MUFFLED) Yeah? Well, this geek is taking back your shares. 95 00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:44,406 JAMES: I don't blame you. 96 00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:46,508 The profession was ruined when they let women in. 97 00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:47,609 I'm killing both of you. 98 00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:51,122 I'm killing all of you if you don't get in there and sit down. 99 00:04:51,189 --> 00:04:53,749 And we get to keep all the shares. 100 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,187 - Ugh! - JOSH: All right. 101 00:04:58,897 --> 00:05:00,694 - NANCY: Jamie! - (RASPBERRYING) 102 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:02,392 JAMIE: Of course, it really happened. 103 00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:04,435 Who wants to see a movie about protesting? 104 00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:06,130 Whatever. 105 00:05:06,204 --> 00:05:08,729 To the sale of Josh's company! 106 00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:10,775 - Whatever the hell it does. - Yes! 107 00:05:11,109 --> 00:05:13,669 Long live medical software. 108 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,008 And med school dropouts everywhere. 109 00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:17,343 You'd better give some of this money away, 110 00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,849 - that's all I have to say. - Not gonna happen. 111 00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:20,441 Jamie, what are you up to these days? 112 00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:24,478 - Jamie's selling high-end stereo equipment. - Ha! 113 00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:26,516 Not anymore. 114 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,386 What do you mean? 115 00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:33,795 Well, let's just say Jamie had a falling out with management. 116 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,362 (SIGHING) 117 00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,431 I thought you were in real estate. 118 00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:42,530 I am looking for other opportunities. 119 00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:46,407 We're living through the greatest creation of wealth in modern history, 120 00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:47,740 and my brother decides to quit. 121 00:05:50,215 --> 00:05:54,117 Josh has been talking to me about pharmaceutical sales. 122 00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,483 Pharmaceutical sales? 123 00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:56,543 JOSH: Pharmaceutical sales. 124 00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:59,385 You know, medicine that's supposed to help people get better. 125 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:01,949 (MUFFLED) Remember Timmy, my roommate from Brown? 126 00:06:02,027 --> 00:06:04,086 He's a VP at Pfizer. So I said to Jamie, 127 00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:06,960 "Jamie, if you suck on my cock, I'll get you an interview." 128 00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,226 - Oh, Josh, watch your mouth! - Watch your mouth! 129 00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:10,700 I said no, Mom. I said no. 130 00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,498 (CHUCKLING) 131 00:06:12,971 --> 00:06:15,030 Why would you wanna be a pharmaceutical rep? 132 00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,836 "Why would you wanna be a pharmaceutical rep?" 133 00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:20,469 Because it's the only entry-level job in America that pays over 100 grand a year. 134 00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:21,569 - That's why. - HELEN: No. 135 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:24,410 Those people come into our office with their roller bags and samples, 136 00:06:24,483 --> 00:06:25,677 like door-to-door-salesmen. 137 00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:27,150 They are door-to-door-salesmen, 138 00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:29,653 only what they're selling grosses $87 billion a year! 139 00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,552 Yeah, and they're turning complex medical decisions 140 00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:32,885 - into Madison Avenue impulse buying. - Oh, my God. 141 00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,323 Look, I'm not selling to the patients, okay? 142 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,883 No. No, the patients just see the commercials on TV... 143 00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:37,121 I'm not even doing the job yet! 144 00:06:37,195 --> 00:06:38,822 ...and demand their name-brand drugs from the doctors... 145 00:06:38,897 --> 00:06:41,422 - JAMIE: Calm down, you're freaking out. - ...and there you are to supply them. 146 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,489 JAMIE: This is so crazy 147 00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,125 that you're yelling at me for nothing! I'm not doing it! 148 00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:49,572 If you barbarians won't be still and finish this lamb, 149 00:06:50,909 --> 00:06:53,275 none of you will get the chocolate cake. 150 00:06:53,845 --> 00:06:55,642 ALL: Yes, Mom! 151 00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:58,680 (JOSH INHALES SHARPLY) 152 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,741 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 153 00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:06,055 Oh, Jamie, if you could make money fucking, 154 00:07:06,124 --> 00:07:08,251 you'd be even richer than me. 155 00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:13,187 (EXHALES) 156 00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:14,889 I'll call the Pfizer guy in the morning. 157 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:20,264 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Let's welcome the class of 1997 trainees! 158 00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:22,636 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 159 00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:31,883 This is not a pill. This is tens of millions of dollars in research. 160 00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:35,618 This is thousands of hours of hard labor. 161 00:07:35,687 --> 00:07:38,679 This, ladies and gentlemen, is software. 162 00:07:39,191 --> 00:07:40,681 Your training will last six weeks. 163 00:07:40,759 --> 00:07:44,661 Each of you will leave here a fully qualified health care professional. 164 00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:46,993 That's 33% fewer phone calls for you at 4:00 a.m. 165 00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:49,465 That's 33% less angry... Shit! 166 00:07:50,268 --> 00:07:52,736 Your job will be to go fight illness. 167 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,863 (MACARENA PLAYING) 168 00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:01,775 Hello... Fuck! 169 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,508 Shit! 170 00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:07,979 Ah! Fuck! Ah! Shit! Ow! 171 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:12,552 Off-label uses are benefits not yet recognized by the FDA. 172 00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:17,055 But you can boost sales by hinting at what these uses are. 173 00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:18,686 Hello, Doctor. Do you know that prescribing Zithromax... 174 00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:20,355 Prescribing Zithromax... (SIGHS) 175 00:08:20,599 --> 00:08:21,623 (BABBLING) 176 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,031 Bonjour, Doctor! 177 00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:25,194 (FRENCH ACCENT) Prescribing Zithromax... Zithromax. 178 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:26,362 Ah! 179 00:08:26,605 --> 00:08:30,371 Zoloft, a drug approved solely for the treatment of depression. 180 00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:34,435 Off-label uses: alcoholism, bulimia, PMS, 181 00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:36,640 smoking, social anxiety. 182 00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:38,342 Is there a question? 183 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:45,019 Zoloft has been associated with suicidal ideation in teenagers. 184 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:46,114 Unproven. 185 00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:47,385 Proven. Unreported. 186 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:51,693 Your job will be to go share this technology. 187 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:56,227 Your job will be to go save lives. 188 00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:59,962 The health care industry today is worth $2 trillion a year. 189 00:09:00,272 --> 00:09:02,797 The top 10 pharma companies make more money 190 00:09:02,874 --> 00:09:07,834 than all 490 of the other Fortune 500 companies combined. 191 00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:11,349 - What family is Feldene a part of? - Non-steroidal... 192 00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:14,317 Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory. An NSAID. 193 00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:20,721 A better world, that's why we're here. 194 00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:22,259 Lipitor in Palm Beach! 195 00:09:23,828 --> 00:09:25,261 Xanax, New England! 196 00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:27,421 (CROWD WHOOPING) 197 00:09:27,499 --> 00:09:29,023 What about you, Jamie-bamie? 198 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:32,126 Zoloft and Zithromax in the Ohio River Valley. 199 00:09:32,704 --> 00:09:34,433 Welcome to Pfizer! 200 00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:36,269 (ALL APPLAUDING) 201 00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:48,717 What are you thinking about? 202 00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,049 Money. 203 00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:51,782 (LAUGHING) 204 00:09:53,658 --> 00:09:54,682 BRUCE: Pay attention. 205 00:09:54,759 --> 00:09:58,525 We are not going door-to-door selling oatmeal cookies for the Girl Scouts here. 206 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,464 You are not the goddamn Avon lady. You understand what I'm saying? 207 00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:05,531 This is hardcore sales, and you have a quota. 208 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:08,129 And people at the home office keeping track of that quota. 209 00:10:08,206 --> 00:10:10,640 And your cold calls, and your mileage, and your receipts. 210 00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:12,336 How often you goddamn masturbate. 211 00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,809 What is the quota for masturbation? 212 00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:17,743 You can masturbate as much as you like, smartass, 213 00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:19,181 as long as you make a lot of money. 214 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,410 Okay. 215 00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,049 BRUCE: Voila! Okay, now, remember. 216 00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:25,021 Hospitals have a no-reps policy. 217 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:28,651 Doesn't mean we can't give the docs a nice, dry walk from their cars. 218 00:10:29,394 --> 00:10:30,725 All right? 219 00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:32,254 There he is. All right. 220 00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:33,388 No time like the present. 221 00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:34,762 - Get your head in the game. - All right. 222 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,425 - Remember, Pfizer makes his life better. - Okay. 223 00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,366 Pfizer makes his patients happier, 224 00:10:38,436 --> 00:10:39,903 - so he makes more money. - Okay. 225 00:10:39,971 --> 00:10:42,166 - Wait, the pens, the pens! - Oh, the pens! 226 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,229 Always lead with a pen. 227 00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:45,770 Gifts establish reciprocity! 228 00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:46,833 (HORN BLARING) 229 00:10:47,979 --> 00:10:48,968 JAMIE: Doctor! 230 00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,614 Hey, Doctor, Jamie Randall. Pfizer. How are you doing? 231 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,480 - No, thank you. - Look... It's wet out here. 232 00:10:53,551 --> 00:10:55,212 I don't want you compromising your immune system. 233 00:10:55,286 --> 00:10:56,412 Let's talk about Zithromax for a second. 234 00:10:56,488 --> 00:10:57,921 Which part of "No, thank you" do you not understand? 235 00:10:57,989 --> 00:10:59,115 - You wanna take a pen? - No, thank you. 236 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,384 Okay. 237 00:11:03,828 --> 00:11:05,887 That's 33% fewer phone calls for you at 4:00 a.m. 238 00:11:05,964 --> 00:11:06,953 Please stop, okay? 239 00:11:07,032 --> 00:11:08,465 That's why I wanna talk to you about Zithromax, okay? 240 00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,592 We are throwing antibiotics at people the minute they sneeze, 241 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:11,693 and it doesn't work on viruses anyway. 242 00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:12,964 - What's your name? - Goldstein. 243 00:11:13,038 --> 00:11:15,097 Right. Dr. Goldstein, okay, what we're doing... 244 00:11:15,507 --> 00:11:18,340 No, what you're doing is creating classes of drug-resistant superbugs. 245 00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:19,900 And that might be good for business, 246 00:11:19,978 --> 00:11:22,412 because you will develop stronger antibiotics 247 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,175 and ruin people's immune systems altogether. 248 00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:25,876 - No... You... - Thank you. 249 00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:36,950 (SIGHING) 250 00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:41,029 BRUCE: Models. Beauty queens. 251 00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:44,199 Equestrian princesses. Shit. 252 00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:47,496 You know what I heard? They're even starting to hire strippers. 253 00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:50,002 I heard that. 254 00:11:54,279 --> 00:11:55,405 Hey, Lisa! 255 00:11:58,483 --> 00:12:01,316 - Her name's not Lisa. - I know. I know. 256 00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:03,377 But if every time I say, "Hey, Lisa," 257 00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:05,650 then eventually she'll come up to me and she'll be like, you know, 258 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:10,320 "My name's not Lisa, it's Jennifer," or whatever, and I'll do a big apology 259 00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:14,695 and I'll say, "l thought you were the Lisa who was mad at me for not calling." 260 00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:17,291 And from then on, Jennifer, or whatever her name is, 261 00:12:17,368 --> 00:12:20,667 will think that I dated a girl who looked just like her, who I rejected. 262 00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,969 She'll develop this unconscious need to win my approval, 263 00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:25,271 and from then on, it's cake. 264 00:12:27,345 --> 00:12:28,676 Damn! 265 00:12:29,881 --> 00:12:33,510 Accepted etiquette is one rep at a time. Screw etiquette. 266 00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:37,112 Competing reps are not your friends. Okay, Knight. 267 00:12:37,188 --> 00:12:38,712 - Where you going? - Oh. Sorry. 268 00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,553 Knight is a doc you gotta close. 269 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:41,956 Leads the largest group in the city. 270 00:12:42,026 --> 00:12:45,018 Lots of fucked-up college students on Prozac who should be on Zoloft. 271 00:12:45,096 --> 00:12:46,324 You always bring donuts? 272 00:12:46,397 --> 00:12:48,160 Pharma sales is a lot like dating. 273 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:51,134 They want you to take them to dinner and pretend to expect nothing in return. 274 00:12:51,202 --> 00:12:53,500 - And no one ever got laid by going Dutch. - Exactly. 275 00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:57,833 Gail, good morning! How are you this fine day? 276 00:13:05,617 --> 00:13:07,642 Sick people touch those. 277 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,417 When I order a second test, it's for a reason, God damn it. 278 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:13,886 Unbelievable! 279 00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:16,620 That's him. Another time. 280 00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:22,961 If they don't take us in five minutes, we leave. Only losers wait. 281 00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,228 There he is. 282 00:13:24,302 --> 00:13:25,667 Hey there, beautiful. How you doing? 283 00:13:26,337 --> 00:13:28,134 Get over here, Trey. 284 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,174 Two tickets to La Bohème on the 19th. 285 00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:34,234 I hate you. Can't you go with me instead of my husband? 286 00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:38,874 Trey Hannigan. Lilly's Prozac rep, top 10 nationally. The Devil. 287 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:40,941 He's on the phone with Watson. You can go on back. 288 00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:43,453 He's the reason we never make our quota on Zoloft. 289 00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:48,755 - Is he going in? - What a dick! 290 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:52,558 BRUCE: If we can show 5% gains monthly, we're going to the promised land. 291 00:13:53,364 --> 00:13:55,025 The promised land? 292 00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,566 Chicago. 293 00:13:56,634 --> 00:13:58,727 Civilization. Culture. 294 00:13:58,803 --> 00:14:01,704 And not incidentally, my wife and kids. 295 00:14:01,773 --> 00:14:03,900 Only the great and near-great get Chicago, 296 00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:06,671 but I got a hunch that you and your swinging dick 297 00:14:06,744 --> 00:14:08,405 might be my ticket to the big leagues. 298 00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:13,372 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 299 00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:20,749 Good morning. 300 00:14:20,825 --> 00:14:23,419 Doctor only sees new reps who bring a lunch. 301 00:14:23,494 --> 00:14:25,121 Here's a list of available dates. 302 00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:27,027 - The first one is in five weeks. - Great. 303 00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:31,057 Here's a list of approved foods, no sushi, no salads. 304 00:14:31,135 --> 00:14:32,329 No salads. 305 00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:34,530 Leave your samples with me. 306 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:37,035 - Hi. - Five weeks. 307 00:14:37,742 --> 00:14:38,834 You're going to like me. 308 00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:40,902 I beg your pardon? 309 00:14:40,979 --> 00:14:43,607 Sooner or later, everybody does. You wanna know why? 310 00:14:44,148 --> 00:14:47,083 'Cause I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I'm very trainable. 311 00:14:47,151 --> 00:14:49,881 - What's your name? - Gail. Five weeks. 312 00:14:49,954 --> 00:14:51,353 Oh, Gail, that's not fair. 313 00:14:51,422 --> 00:14:52,719 I'm laying myself bare here. 314 00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:56,726 I'm revealing my true vulnerability. And now you're stonewalling me. 315 00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:58,551 Is that fair? 316 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,365 - That's not fair. - You stay out of this. 317 00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:04,026 Look at you angels of mercy! How do the docs get any work done around here? 318 00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,433 Fine. What do you want? 319 00:15:06,437 --> 00:15:08,962 I just want you to let me leave my samples where he'll see them. 320 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,304 'Cause otherwise, you're gonna throw them away after I leave. 321 00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:19,914 Gail. No sushi, no salads. 322 00:15:33,464 --> 00:15:34,522 Who let you back here? 323 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:37,894 Oh! Dr. Knight! Do you know that prescribing Zithromax for ear infections, 324 00:15:37,969 --> 00:15:40,028 - diarrhea and... - Cindy! Can you deal with this, please? 325 00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:42,504 How about a pen? Do you want a pen? (GROANS) 326 00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:46,038 (SIGHING) 327 00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,948 - Okay, Prince Charming, time's up. - Oh! Okay. 328 00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:04,489 Wow! That is a long handle! 329 00:16:04,562 --> 00:16:06,154 - Would you like a pen? - Thanks. 330 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,254 Purple. 331 00:16:07,332 --> 00:16:08,697 - Bye. - Bye. 332 00:16:16,107 --> 00:16:17,506 (WHISTLING CASUALLY) 333 00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:31,914 Uh, 334 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,515 I got something for you today. 335 00:16:34,592 --> 00:16:38,255 Wait, I think... Yup. There's another one for you, too! 336 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,196 (CHUCKLING) 337 00:16:40,431 --> 00:16:45,198 The thing about these pens is that they have tiny little point tips on them, 338 00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:47,669 and then I end up pressing too hard, and... 339 00:16:47,739 --> 00:16:49,400 Hello, gorgeous. 340 00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:52,506 (GASPS) Jamie! Jamie, they're beautiful! 341 00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:56,643 (WHISTLING CASUALLY) 342 00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:05,320 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 343 00:17:06,357 --> 00:17:08,018 Hey, Lisa! 344 00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:15,561 Okay, this may have worked for you in the past, but let me lay it out. 345 00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:19,500 I became a rep for one reason, doctors. 346 00:17:20,138 --> 00:17:24,404 To meet doctors, fraternize with doctors, breed with doctors. 347 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:28,979 So next time you see me in the field, don't ask for a handout. 348 00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,878 (WHISPERS) It's just awkward. 349 00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:37,813 I want Chicago, Randall. And right now, you're not making it happen! 350 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:42,155 You're 20% below your quota for Z, you're 45% below your quota for Zoloft! 351 00:17:42,393 --> 00:17:44,327 You want me off your ass, you punk? 352 00:17:44,395 --> 00:17:46,260 There's your answer. 353 00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:50,933 He's got toddlers taking Prozac. He's got dogs taking Prozac. 354 00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:53,903 He'd have rocks taking Prozac if they paid cash. 355 00:17:53,971 --> 00:17:56,565 And by the way, you want one doctor to start writing Zoloft? 356 00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:57,699 It's the guy standing next to him. 357 00:17:58,076 --> 00:17:59,543 JAMIE: Knight? BRUCE: Knight. 358 00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:01,339 Hannigan's butt buddy. 359 00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:04,609 But I swear, he starts writing it, the rest of the docs will follow. 360 00:18:04,682 --> 00:18:06,206 And Windy City, here we come. 361 00:18:10,288 --> 00:18:12,552 - Dr. Knight. - Hey, I'm very late. 362 00:18:12,623 --> 00:18:14,784 - One thousand dollars. - Excuse me? 363 00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:17,692 - It's a check for $1,000. - For what? 364 00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:19,285 For a special Pfizer preceptorship. 365 00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:22,389 For me to shadow you, learn your practice, and better serve the needs of doctors. 366 00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:24,660 Are you bribing me? 367 00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:26,930 No, Doctor, no. 368 00:18:27,004 --> 00:18:30,906 It's a special Pfizer preceptorship for me to shadow you. 369 00:18:30,975 --> 00:18:32,465 (LAUGHS) 370 00:18:32,543 --> 00:18:33,567 Is this a joke? 371 00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:36,477 If you think $1,000 is a joke. 372 00:18:37,348 --> 00:18:38,406 (EXHALES) 373 00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:40,548 That's 33% fewer phone calls at 4:00 a.m... 374 00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:44,143 I'd write a lot more of your scrip if I were a regularly paid consultant. 375 00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:46,122 Well, you know, we can talk to them about that. 376 00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:48,249 They spend $5 billion a year on marketing, right? 377 00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:49,315 Mmm-hmm. 378 00:18:49,393 --> 00:18:51,588 Instead of flying me to Cancún and making me sit through 379 00:18:51,662 --> 00:18:54,460 some bullshit, nonsense, peer-to-peer conference, 380 00:18:54,532 --> 00:18:56,261 just give me half that money in cash. 381 00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:57,426 - Yeah, but Cancún... - Dr. Knight, 382 00:18:57,502 --> 00:18:58,594 -Mrs. Putney's on the phone. Excuse me. -Sorry. 383 00:18:58,669 --> 00:19:01,103 Her daughter has to sing on Friday. They're doing Bye Bye Birdie, 384 00:19:01,172 --> 00:19:04,471 and she's playing Kim, and she wondered if you could call in an antibiotic? 385 00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,669 - Sure. Why not? - Okay, thanks. 386 00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:07,802 Hey. 387 00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:10,074 This can't be right. Janice? Janice? 388 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,446 A 26-year-old needs Parkinson's medication? 389 00:19:12,517 --> 00:19:14,883 - Beth wrote that one up. - Hi. 390 00:19:15,853 --> 00:19:19,254 All right, look, if a patient asks, you're an intern, okay? 391 00:19:19,323 --> 00:19:21,484 Yeah. Can I take notes? 392 00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:23,220 - Sure. Why not? - All right. 393 00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,258 Hey. I'm Dr. Knight. 394 00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,161 - Maggie Murdock. - Hi. 395 00:19:28,666 --> 00:19:33,000 - So your file says, "Kind of an emergency." - Yeah. 396 00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:36,539 My apartment was burgled yesterday, and they took my Parkinson's meds. 397 00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:41,171 But my symptoms are pretty good today, so it's "kind of an emergency." 398 00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:45,213 I know your Lilly rep, Trey Hannigan? He asked Cindy to squeeze me in, so... 399 00:19:45,283 --> 00:19:46,648 Yeah, Trey's a great guy. 400 00:19:46,717 --> 00:19:48,776 Oh. Well, I wouldn't say that. 401 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,454 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 402 00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,515 So, monotherapy? 403 00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:56,492 Yep. Sinemet CR, 50 milligrams, two times a day, 404 00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:59,792 plus Domperidone to cut the nausea, 10 milligrams, three times a day. 405 00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:03,630 Artane for the tremor, two milligrams, a whole tablet, three times a day. 406 00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:05,328 And Prozac, so that I'm not too bummed 407 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:08,167 about having a major degenerative disorder at 26. 408 00:20:08,239 --> 00:20:10,139 Forty milligrams, once, in the morning. 409 00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:13,040 Zoloft has fewer side effects. 410 00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:14,838 I'm sorry, who are you? 411 00:20:15,479 --> 00:20:16,639 Jamie Randall. 412 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:18,273 Oh. 413 00:20:18,482 --> 00:20:19,471 Hi. 414 00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:20,874 Intern. 415 00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:27,413 So, early-onset Parkinson's. That's pretty rare. 416 00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:31,359 Yeah, yeah, yeah. First they thought it was essential tremor, then Wilson's disease, 417 00:20:31,429 --> 00:20:36,696 then Huntington's. Then, they tested for MAS, PSP, syphilis. 418 00:20:37,535 --> 00:20:40,003 I was very glad for a negative on that one. 419 00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:42,904 I didn't really relish the thought of feeling like a 19th century slut. 420 00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:47,801 Let's see. Then, there was brain tumor week, which was very scary. 421 00:20:47,878 --> 00:20:50,779 And then six months chasing obscure dystonias, 422 00:20:50,848 --> 00:20:53,442 but, no, it just turned out to be good, old-fashioned Parkinson's. 423 00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:56,315 Right. And... Don't you have a neurologist? 424 00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,953 We broke up. 425 00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:00,346 (CHUCKLES) 426 00:21:00,791 --> 00:21:03,453 And do you have insurance? 427 00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:05,620 Do I have insurance. 428 00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:08,222 Okay. 429 00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:11,363 Well, sure. Why not? 430 00:21:11,435 --> 00:21:14,165 - Great. - Is there anything else I can do for you? 431 00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:15,227 Nope. Oh! 432 00:21:15,373 --> 00:21:16,362 Um... 433 00:21:17,141 --> 00:21:18,904 Actually, yeah. 434 00:21:18,976 --> 00:21:23,003 I have a weird blotch on my breast. 435 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,310 I don't know, I'm trying not to freak out about it. 436 00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:27,908 - Well, let's have a look. - Great. 437 00:21:31,889 --> 00:21:33,015 Here you go. Do you see that? 438 00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:37,987 - That's a spider bite. - Is it? 439 00:21:38,062 --> 00:21:39,689 STAN: Yeah, that's a spider bite. 440 00:21:39,764 --> 00:21:40,992 - Great! - (LAUGHS) 441 00:21:41,299 --> 00:21:42,323 STAN: All right. 442 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,325 - There you are. - Thank you, Dr. Knight. 443 00:21:44,402 --> 00:21:45,426 Sure. 444 00:21:46,237 --> 00:21:47,898 You're welcome. 445 00:21:54,912 --> 00:21:56,573 - You're a drug rep? - (GROANING) Wait... 446 00:21:56,647 --> 00:21:59,582 You let me take my shirt off, you fucking creep! 447 00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:01,679 Wait, wait, wait. I'm hurt. 448 00:22:01,752 --> 00:22:03,777 - Your buckle just hit my eye. - No, it didn't. 449 00:22:03,854 --> 00:22:05,446 - I'm hurt. I'm hurt. - Oh, my God. 450 00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:07,013 Who said I was a drug rep? 451 00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:08,683 Excuse me, look at your bag! 452 00:22:09,193 --> 00:22:11,627 I don't think you're going to the fucking airport. 453 00:22:11,696 --> 00:22:13,755 Okay, look, just apologize, okay? Just apologize. 454 00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:14,855 Would you do that just once? 455 00:22:14,932 --> 00:22:17,992 I would actually like to hear someone from the medical community actually apologize! 456 00:22:18,069 --> 00:22:20,469 Okay. Okay, I apologize. 457 00:22:20,538 --> 00:22:26,477 I apologize on behalf of all the arrogant, faceless, cut-off, asshole doctors out there 458 00:22:26,544 --> 00:22:30,674 who've treated you like a non-person while peeking at your breasts. 459 00:22:30,748 --> 00:22:32,215 (SCOFFS) 460 00:22:33,217 --> 00:22:34,309 So what's your name? 461 00:22:35,786 --> 00:22:36,810 You're good. 462 00:22:37,421 --> 00:22:40,720 Strong eye contact. Implied intimacy. You'll make your quotas. 463 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,122 Let me take you out for a cup of coffee then. 464 00:22:44,528 --> 00:22:45,790 Whoa! What was that for? 465 00:22:46,197 --> 00:22:47,994 Eat shit and die, that's what that was. 466 00:22:48,065 --> 00:22:50,761 No, wait, wait! Hold on one second! I can do a better apology! 467 00:22:54,772 --> 00:22:55,932 (EXHALES) 468 00:22:56,707 --> 00:22:58,106 'Cause I want to know. 469 00:23:00,644 --> 00:23:03,772 (WHISPERING) The same white tights I wear every single day. 470 00:23:03,848 --> 00:23:06,043 You are out of your mind. 471 00:23:06,117 --> 00:23:07,914 All right, nothing underneath? 472 00:23:08,085 --> 00:23:09,518 (SNICKERING) 473 00:23:10,254 --> 00:23:12,347 - You're bad! - So, 474 00:23:13,090 --> 00:23:16,753 I need the number of a patient he saw yesterday. 475 00:23:16,827 --> 00:23:19,557 A Murdock, or something like that. 476 00:23:19,630 --> 00:23:21,120 You want Maggie Murdock's number? 477 00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:24,861 Yes. Because she mentioned, like, six neurologists, 478 00:23:24,935 --> 00:23:27,995 and Pfizer's coming out with a new Parkinson's med, 479 00:23:28,072 --> 00:23:31,337 and I wanna contact them all, and I wanna make a lot of money, 480 00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:32,603 Miss None Of Your Business. 481 00:23:33,844 --> 00:23:36,278 - We're not supposed to give out numbers. - What? 482 00:23:36,347 --> 00:23:38,247 You gave me your number, you bad girl. 483 00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:40,476 Do your friends know how bad you really are? 484 00:23:41,252 --> 00:23:42,719 Jamie! 485 00:23:42,787 --> 00:23:44,254 Because if they knew how bad you really are... 486 00:23:44,321 --> 00:23:45,879 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 487 00:23:46,357 --> 00:23:50,987 Listen, I promise I'll wear the stethoscope next time we play naughty nurse. 488 00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:53,994 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 489 00:23:55,966 --> 00:23:57,831 546-2312. 490 00:23:57,902 --> 00:24:00,234 Okay, I got to go. Thanks, bye. 491 00:24:00,371 --> 00:24:01,861 (DIAL TONE DRONING) 492 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,900 What are you doing here? 493 00:24:08,479 --> 00:24:10,811 (SOBBING) I'm all fucked up! 494 00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:14,043 - Farrah kicked me out. - No way. 495 00:24:14,452 --> 00:24:18,912 Can you believe that? I think she's fucking somebody already, I swear to God! 496 00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:20,923 - Why did she kick you out? - I don't know, Jamie! 497 00:24:20,991 --> 00:24:23,619 - Jesus! - She said I was addicted to Internet porn. 498 00:24:23,694 --> 00:24:25,457 - Are you? - Of course I am! 499 00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:27,156 Fuck! Isn't everybody? 500 00:24:27,231 --> 00:24:29,199 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God. 501 00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:31,401 (GASPING) I can't breathe. 502 00:24:32,436 --> 00:24:34,597 I'm having a panic attack. 503 00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:37,766 - Do you have any Ativan? - We're Xanax. 504 00:24:37,842 --> 00:24:40,402 Fine, Xanax! You have any samples of Xanax? 505 00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:44,312 Jamie, I'm in a really vulnerable place right now. 506 00:24:44,381 --> 00:24:46,372 (STIFLED SOBBING) 507 00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:49,976 Okay. Okay. 508 00:24:50,454 --> 00:24:51,819 Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 509 00:24:51,889 --> 00:24:53,686 Come here, come here, come here. It's okay. 510 00:24:53,757 --> 00:24:55,588 Dude! Dude! 511 00:24:57,161 --> 00:24:59,152 We're not huggers. 512 00:25:02,266 --> 00:25:04,826 Faster. Come on! We got this! 513 00:25:04,902 --> 00:25:07,928 - Josh, will you turn that down? - Oh. No. 514 00:25:08,272 --> 00:25:09,603 Josh! 515 00:25:09,707 --> 00:25:11,436 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 516 00:25:11,509 --> 00:25:13,534 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 517 00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:17,407 - Hello? - Why did you take that picture? 518 00:25:17,481 --> 00:25:18,607 (CHUCKLES) 519 00:25:18,782 --> 00:25:21,148 Is that the girl with the tits? 520 00:25:22,853 --> 00:25:24,184 How'd you get my number? 521 00:25:25,823 --> 00:25:27,256 What, you called Knight's office? 522 00:25:27,858 --> 00:25:28,847 (MOUTHING WORDS) 523 00:25:28,926 --> 00:25:32,054 - How'd you get my number? - From the receptionist. 524 00:25:32,630 --> 00:25:33,688 Who you're fucking. 525 00:25:33,898 --> 00:25:35,058 (WHISPERING) What'd she say? 526 00:25:35,466 --> 00:25:36,660 JAMIE: Have coffee with me. 527 00:25:38,002 --> 00:25:40,766 - Why? - Because I'm a drug rep. 528 00:25:40,838 --> 00:25:42,032 I'm not a creep. 529 00:25:42,406 --> 00:25:43,805 (LAUGHS) 530 00:25:44,308 --> 00:25:45,798 Same thing. 531 00:25:45,876 --> 00:25:50,108 Look, I'm sorry that I stared at your tits, but they're really nice. 532 00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:51,204 - (SNICKERING) - (MOUTHING WORDS) 533 00:25:53,918 --> 00:25:54,942 Hello? 534 00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:57,380 Yes. Yes. 535 00:25:57,988 --> 00:25:59,922 Oh, I thought you hung up for a second. 536 00:26:00,491 --> 00:26:01,583 Should I have? 537 00:26:02,326 --> 00:26:04,260 What, and miss the opportunity of insulting me? 538 00:26:04,495 --> 00:26:06,861 Oh, you like being insulted? 539 00:26:06,931 --> 00:26:08,592 (CLATTERING) 540 00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:10,524 Hold on a second. 541 00:26:12,503 --> 00:26:13,492 Ow! 542 00:26:14,438 --> 00:26:15,427 Um... 543 00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:17,198 By the right person. 544 00:26:17,274 --> 00:26:21,040 Oh, my God. This is a sales call, isn't it? 545 00:26:21,111 --> 00:26:24,638 You're gonna stay on the phone with me until I say yes, aren't you? 546 00:26:24,715 --> 00:26:26,580 Well, I take my work very seriously. 547 00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:31,520 5:00, Lulu's on Clark. 548 00:26:32,156 --> 00:26:33,589 All right. Bye. 549 00:26:37,728 --> 00:26:38,717 Ow! 550 00:26:39,363 --> 00:26:41,297 Why is your answer to everything violence? 551 00:26:44,868 --> 00:26:46,597 I said 5:00. 552 00:26:46,904 --> 00:26:49,896 (STANDING IN THE DOORWAY PLAYING IN THE CAFE) 553 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,634 - Very cute. - Oh! Please, you can have him. 554 00:26:52,710 --> 00:26:55,042 Khaki pants? No, thanks. 555 00:26:58,816 --> 00:27:01,580 So... What's your name? 556 00:27:02,553 --> 00:27:03,577 Jamie Randall. 557 00:27:03,654 --> 00:27:06,487 Jamie, right. Okay, sorry. What's your game? 558 00:27:07,358 --> 00:27:08,382 My game? 559 00:27:08,459 --> 00:27:10,324 I'm sorry, right, this is the part where we talk about 560 00:27:10,394 --> 00:27:12,828 where we come from and what we majored in, in college. 561 00:27:12,896 --> 00:27:14,329 You have beautiful eyes. 562 00:27:15,499 --> 00:27:17,433 That's it? That's the best you got? 563 00:27:17,501 --> 00:27:18,798 I'm serious. They're beautiful. 564 00:27:18,869 --> 00:27:23,772 Well, thank you. Let's see, what else? My childhood? When did I get sick? 565 00:27:23,841 --> 00:27:25,001 So, are you always this mean? 566 00:27:25,075 --> 00:27:26,940 Actually, this is me being nice. 567 00:27:31,915 --> 00:27:33,109 So, how's your quota this month? 568 00:27:33,183 --> 00:27:34,707 Have you had your first performance review? 569 00:27:34,785 --> 00:27:36,116 Is that a resting tremor? 570 00:27:36,954 --> 00:27:38,046 Comes and goes? 571 00:27:39,590 --> 00:27:40,750 It's none of your business. 572 00:27:41,692 --> 00:27:43,023 Happens when you're nervous. 573 00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:45,626 Mr. Expert, why would I be nervous? 574 00:27:45,696 --> 00:27:47,630 - 'Cause you're interested. - And that would make me nervous? 575 00:27:47,698 --> 00:27:50,929 Yeah, your mind's telling you one thing, your body's telling you something else. 576 00:27:53,470 --> 00:27:56,564 You left me standing 577 00:27:57,141 --> 00:27:58,335 Let's go. 578 00:28:00,077 --> 00:28:01,101 Excuse me? 579 00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:03,442 You wanna close, right? You wanna get laid? 580 00:28:03,514 --> 00:28:04,708 (CHUCKLES) Now? 581 00:28:07,651 --> 00:28:11,678 Mmm. Oh, right, right, right. I'm supposed to act like I don't know if it's right, 582 00:28:11,755 --> 00:28:15,714 so then you tell me that there is no right or wrong, there's just the moment. 583 00:28:16,894 --> 00:28:21,228 And then I tell you that I can't, while actually signaling to you that I can, 584 00:28:21,298 --> 00:28:23,357 which you don't need, because you're not really listening, 585 00:28:23,434 --> 00:28:27,029 because this isn't about connection for you, this isn't even about sex for you. 586 00:28:27,104 --> 00:28:31,097 This is about finding an hour or two of relief from the pain of being you. 587 00:28:31,175 --> 00:28:32,608 And that's fine with me, see, 588 00:28:32,676 --> 00:28:35,839 because all I want is the exact same thing. 589 00:28:37,281 --> 00:28:40,444 You left me standing 590 00:28:40,517 --> 00:28:43,315 in the doorway crying 591 00:28:44,254 --> 00:28:47,417 Does that mean I don't have to leave a tip? 592 00:28:48,759 --> 00:28:50,021 (BOTH PANTING) 593 00:28:54,965 --> 00:28:56,159 (MOANING) 594 00:28:57,301 --> 00:28:58,290 (CLOTHES RIPPING) 595 00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:12,214 (JAMIE PANTING) 596 00:29:14,718 --> 00:29:18,552 And now you're thinking, "Will I stay five minutes or ten?" 597 00:29:18,622 --> 00:29:21,090 And, "Where did I throw my pager?" 598 00:29:21,158 --> 00:29:22,489 Mmm. 599 00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:25,119 I'm not thinking that. It's under the table. 600 00:29:25,195 --> 00:29:26,992 (CHUCKLING) 601 00:29:28,098 --> 00:29:31,363 You're probably thinking, "What's this guy's name again?" (LAUGHS) 602 00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:34,631 (GRUNTING) Bye, Johnny. 603 00:29:40,210 --> 00:29:42,770 I think it's time for you to go. 604 00:29:42,846 --> 00:29:45,337 Whoa, whoa, I don't need to go. 605 00:29:45,415 --> 00:29:47,883 Well, I need you to go. 606 00:29:47,951 --> 00:29:49,077 (BOTH GROAN) 607 00:29:49,153 --> 00:29:50,484 JAMIE: Oh, okay. 608 00:29:55,659 --> 00:29:57,752 It was nice meeting you. 609 00:30:00,531 --> 00:30:03,193 It was nice meeting you, too. Maybe we'll... 610 00:30:04,334 --> 00:30:08,327 We'll see each other around. I'll just leave the key there. 611 00:30:09,439 --> 00:30:10,736 Thanks. 612 00:30:13,410 --> 00:30:16,072 'Cause he gets up in the morning 613 00:30:16,313 --> 00:30:18,679 And he goes to work at 9:00 614 00:30:18,749 --> 00:30:20,080 (PAGER BEEPING) 615 00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:22,175 And he comes back home at 5:30 616 00:30:22,252 --> 00:30:25,153 Gets the same train every time 617 00:30:25,222 --> 00:30:28,953 'Cause his world is built 'round punctuality 618 00:30:29,026 --> 00:30:31,017 It never fails 619 00:30:31,094 --> 00:30:33,790 And he's oh, so good 620 00:30:34,164 --> 00:30:36,962 And he's oh, so fine 621 00:30:37,034 --> 00:30:39,468 And he's oh, so healthy 622 00:30:39,536 --> 00:30:42,630 In his body and his mind 623 00:30:42,706 --> 00:30:46,107 He's a well respected man about town 624 00:30:46,176 --> 00:30:50,545 Doing the best things so conservatively 625 00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:54,817 And his mother goes to meetings 626 00:30:55,552 --> 00:30:57,179 (PAGER BEEPING) 627 00:30:57,788 --> 00:31:00,689 And she stirs the tea with councilors 628 00:31:00,757 --> 00:31:01,746 While discussing foreign trade 629 00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:03,823 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 630 00:31:03,894 --> 00:31:05,156 What? 631 00:31:06,597 --> 00:31:08,258 Wait! Wait. 632 00:31:08,866 --> 00:31:10,731 (DOORBELL CONTINUES BUZZING) 633 00:31:12,703 --> 00:31:14,568 Oh, my God. What are you doing here? 634 00:31:14,938 --> 00:31:16,337 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 635 00:31:16,406 --> 00:31:18,374 I know it's so late. 636 00:31:19,009 --> 00:31:19,998 Oh, my God! 637 00:31:20,077 --> 00:31:21,635 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 638 00:31:21,712 --> 00:31:22,804 Oh, my God! 639 00:31:23,413 --> 00:31:25,381 I didn't see anything! My glasses are off! 640 00:31:25,449 --> 00:31:26,541 Josh, turn around! 641 00:31:26,850 --> 00:31:27,839 (SNICKERING) 642 00:31:28,652 --> 00:31:29,641 (JOSH LAUGHING) 643 00:31:30,921 --> 00:31:33,913 Hi. Josh. Pleasure to meet you. 644 00:31:37,527 --> 00:31:40,928 I can recite the six causes of pernicious anemia 645 00:31:40,998 --> 00:31:43,990 and the four stages of terminal cirrhosis. 646 00:31:44,067 --> 00:31:48,902 And by fourth grade, I knew what a distended ileum felt like on palpation. 647 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,440 So why did you bail on med school? 648 00:31:52,509 --> 00:31:55,569 I didn't bail. I just couldn't finish college. I couldn't sit through a class. 649 00:31:55,779 --> 00:31:57,644 Oh. Ritalin at 10. 650 00:31:58,448 --> 00:31:59,642 Eight. 651 00:32:00,417 --> 00:32:01,748 Show-off. 652 00:32:03,453 --> 00:32:05,284 But you were really smart? 653 00:32:05,355 --> 00:32:08,791 Yeah. The prodigal son, with ADD. 654 00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:11,025 You want to know the truth? 655 00:32:11,461 --> 00:32:12,450 Hmm? 656 00:32:13,764 --> 00:32:15,527 I just couldn't give my father the satisfaction. 657 00:32:19,803 --> 00:32:21,430 Does this generally work for you? 658 00:32:23,473 --> 00:32:24,701 What? 659 00:32:25,342 --> 00:32:31,212 This. The whole misunderstood-by-Dad- I'm-a-vulnerable-guy thing. 660 00:32:32,416 --> 00:32:34,384 Usually. Yeah. 661 00:32:36,219 --> 00:32:38,210 Well, it's pretty good. 662 00:32:39,156 --> 00:32:40,453 Thanks. 663 00:32:40,524 --> 00:32:44,290 But somewhere along the line, say, sixth grade, 664 00:32:44,361 --> 00:32:48,627 a girl smiled at you, or a bunch of girls smiled at you, 665 00:32:49,533 --> 00:32:52,991 and, ta-da, Jamie's good at something after all. 666 00:32:54,171 --> 00:32:56,662 Actually, it was the fifth grade. 667 00:32:58,208 --> 00:33:00,699 Why don't you have a boyfriend? 668 00:33:03,246 --> 00:33:04,474 I'm going. 669 00:33:06,850 --> 00:33:08,374 - Why? - See... 670 00:33:10,053 --> 00:33:11,077 (MAGGIE SIGHING) 671 00:33:11,154 --> 00:33:14,783 The thing is, I really like having sex, 672 00:33:14,858 --> 00:33:18,123 and I actually really like having sex with you, 673 00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:22,596 so let's just keep it simple. 674 00:33:22,666 --> 00:33:23,724 I can do that. 675 00:33:24,201 --> 00:33:26,032 Yeah, you do seem like a shithead, 676 00:33:26,103 --> 00:33:28,469 so it should be all right. 677 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,203 There's just alarms going off in my head 678 00:33:33,276 --> 00:33:36,507 that you're not entirely what you seem. 679 00:33:36,580 --> 00:33:40,243 Oh, no, no. I'm a shithead, believe me. 680 00:33:44,221 --> 00:33:45,449 Good. 681 00:33:46,223 --> 00:33:50,853 Because if you turn out not to be a shithead, that would be bad. 682 00:33:55,065 --> 00:33:58,262 I'm a shithead, believe me. Through and through. 683 00:34:02,039 --> 00:34:04,599 (MAGGIE MOANING LOUDLY) 684 00:34:06,410 --> 00:34:09,208 (JAMIE GRUNTING) 685 00:34:09,780 --> 00:34:12,544 (MAGGIE MOANING LOUDER) 686 00:34:13,316 --> 00:34:15,181 (WHISTLING CASUALLY) 687 00:34:19,556 --> 00:34:20,545 Hey! 688 00:34:21,158 --> 00:34:22,182 (EXCLAIMS) 689 00:34:22,259 --> 00:34:23,920 Hey, man. How are you? 690 00:34:24,227 --> 00:34:25,251 (GROANS) 691 00:34:25,929 --> 00:34:28,227 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 692 00:34:29,633 --> 00:34:32,295 Damaged cells are releasing arachidonic acid. 693 00:34:32,669 --> 00:34:34,432 Your body's converting it to prostaglandin, 694 00:34:34,504 --> 00:34:37,064 which is triggering a fiesta of enzymes necessary for pain. 695 00:34:37,140 --> 00:34:38,129 (RETCHING) 696 00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:40,039 Do you wanna throw up? It's not gonna help. 697 00:34:40,677 --> 00:34:42,872 It's gonna take about a minute for the acid to dissipate 698 00:34:42,946 --> 00:34:44,607 and your natural morphine to kick in. 699 00:34:45,615 --> 00:34:47,606 - You know why I hit you? - (GRUNTING) No! No! 700 00:34:48,552 --> 00:34:51,749 Prozac has helped millions of people overcome intractable mood disorders, 701 00:34:52,122 --> 00:34:53,646 making miserable lives livable. 702 00:34:54,057 --> 00:34:56,321 It's even helped me with some of my own anger issues. 703 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,586 So when someone fucks with my Prozac, it upsets me. 704 00:35:00,230 --> 00:35:01,322 You know what people say about me? 705 00:35:02,299 --> 00:35:04,733 (GROANING) You're in the top ten nationally? 706 00:35:04,801 --> 00:35:05,790 Why do you suppose that is? 707 00:35:06,636 --> 00:35:07,967 Fuck you! 708 00:35:08,772 --> 00:35:09,864 Why do you suppose that is? 709 00:35:10,907 --> 00:35:12,135 Because I'm ex-Marine, 710 00:35:12,209 --> 00:35:14,040 and I'll destroy anyone who gets in my way. 711 00:35:14,111 --> 00:35:15,100 Right. 712 00:35:15,745 --> 00:35:16,734 Shit. 713 00:35:19,749 --> 00:35:20,738 Ow! 714 00:35:21,551 --> 00:35:22,540 Fuck. 715 00:35:22,986 --> 00:35:25,318 I'd ice that as soon as you can. 716 00:35:25,889 --> 00:35:28,619 If it hurts in a few days, get an X-ray. 717 00:35:31,495 --> 00:35:33,554 And stay away from Maggie. 718 00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,261 (GROANS) 719 00:35:38,335 --> 00:35:39,666 - MAN: Excuse me. - (SCREAMS) 720 00:35:43,273 --> 00:35:44,604 Are those more samples? 721 00:35:45,175 --> 00:35:48,167 Yeah. Help yourself. 722 00:35:49,846 --> 00:35:51,006 Thanks. 723 00:35:52,082 --> 00:35:53,572 I got a job interview today. 724 00:35:53,850 --> 00:35:56,683 Oh, that's great. That's great. 725 00:36:00,190 --> 00:36:01,248 That's great. 726 00:36:04,094 --> 00:36:05,755 Hello, ladies! 727 00:36:08,265 --> 00:36:09,926 No samples today. 728 00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:12,431 What do you mean? I got great stuff for you! 729 00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:14,763 No samples today, thank you. 730 00:36:15,672 --> 00:36:16,661 She's just a friend. 731 00:36:16,740 --> 00:36:18,173 No samples today. Sorry. 732 00:36:19,276 --> 00:36:20,607 Okay. What's going on? 733 00:36:21,611 --> 00:36:24,239 Trey got to you, didn't he? What'd he give you? 734 00:36:24,514 --> 00:36:26,709 No samples today, thank you. Hawaii. 735 00:36:28,485 --> 00:36:29,543 Hawaii? 736 00:36:29,619 --> 00:36:33,749 No samples today. Doctor's convention. Sand and surf in Honolulu. 737 00:36:35,125 --> 00:36:36,786 Wow. Okay. 738 00:36:38,595 --> 00:36:39,755 Okay. 739 00:36:46,369 --> 00:36:47,859 I got to get out of here. 740 00:36:48,138 --> 00:36:50,129 You're not going to go see her, are you? 741 00:36:50,807 --> 00:36:51,967 No. 742 00:36:52,676 --> 00:36:53,665 Mmm-hmm. 743 00:37:09,359 --> 00:37:10,383 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 744 00:37:10,493 --> 00:37:11,653 Maggie! 745 00:37:12,896 --> 00:37:13,885 Hi. 746 00:37:14,264 --> 00:37:15,595 Hey, what's that? 747 00:37:15,832 --> 00:37:16,992 Food. 748 00:37:18,501 --> 00:37:20,492 - For? - Eating. 749 00:37:21,037 --> 00:37:22,061 JAMIE: They're my noodles! 750 00:37:22,138 --> 00:37:23,469 (MUFFLED) You already have a face full of noodles! 751 00:37:23,540 --> 00:37:24,529 Jesus! 752 00:37:24,841 --> 00:37:27,503 My God, you are so selfish. You're just like my mother. 753 00:37:27,811 --> 00:37:29,642 Did you sleep with your mother? 754 00:37:29,713 --> 00:37:30,771 Ew! 755 00:37:30,847 --> 00:37:32,712 - What? - You know what? 756 00:37:33,083 --> 00:37:35,677 She's cute, she's available, you'd love her. 757 00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:38,387 The only thing is, she happens to take up all the oxygen in the room 758 00:37:38,455 --> 00:37:39,922 and hog all the closet space, but other than that, 759 00:37:39,990 --> 00:37:41,116 you two are perfect for each other. 760 00:37:41,191 --> 00:37:43,751 JAMIE: Is she hotter than you? I bet she's hotter than you. 761 00:37:44,127 --> 00:37:45,526 She doesn't have a disease, either. 762 00:37:45,996 --> 00:37:47,520 JAMIE: Does that work for you generally? 763 00:37:47,597 --> 00:37:49,360 - What? - Self-pity. 764 00:37:50,267 --> 00:37:51,757 You are a shithead. 765 00:38:02,379 --> 00:38:03,539 What? 766 00:38:04,214 --> 00:38:05,545 Nothing. 767 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:12,051 This is nice. 768 00:38:18,261 --> 00:38:21,389 Okay, I think it's time to take off your clothes and jump me. 769 00:38:21,464 --> 00:38:23,989 Wait. Am I not allowed to say that? 770 00:38:24,634 --> 00:38:25,794 I don't know. 771 00:38:25,869 --> 00:38:30,397 First you bring food, and then you wanna spend the night, 772 00:38:30,473 --> 00:38:31,497 and then you bring a change of clothes, 773 00:38:31,574 --> 00:38:34,338 and then you bring a razor and, oh, my God, it's a relationship. 774 00:38:34,411 --> 00:38:35,503 I don't want a relationship. 775 00:38:35,578 --> 00:38:37,307 Well, you can't guarantee that now, can you? 776 00:38:37,380 --> 00:38:39,439 You might actually have some kind of 777 00:38:39,516 --> 00:38:41,313 latent humanity that you don't know anything about. 778 00:38:41,384 --> 00:38:43,875 You might like being in a relationship, and... 779 00:38:43,953 --> 00:38:46,820 Listen, I said this was nice. I didn't ask you to marry me. 780 00:38:50,493 --> 00:38:52,620 Well, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was sick, either. 781 00:38:58,835 --> 00:39:00,166 I'm sorry. 782 00:39:01,838 --> 00:39:03,169 - Sorry. - No. 783 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,731 I just... I did that before, and it didn't... 784 00:39:08,244 --> 00:39:09,336 It wasn't good. 785 00:39:12,949 --> 00:39:16,851 I'd just been diagnosed, 786 00:39:17,053 --> 00:39:18,850 and he was married. 787 00:39:19,856 --> 00:39:23,019 He helped me, and it didn't end well. So... 788 00:39:27,130 --> 00:39:28,324 It's Trey Hannigan, isn't it? 789 00:39:30,967 --> 00:39:33,629 - Trey Hannigan? It was Trey Hannigan. - Yeah, well... 790 00:39:35,205 --> 00:39:36,536 Uh... 791 00:39:38,308 --> 00:39:39,400 Are you in love with him? 792 00:39:42,145 --> 00:39:44,636 No, I'm not in love with Trey Hannigan. 793 00:39:45,215 --> 00:39:46,807 I was never in love with Trey Hannigan. 794 00:39:47,016 --> 00:39:50,213 He was... Said he was in love with me. 795 00:39:54,624 --> 00:39:56,956 Which was, you know, a problem. 796 00:39:57,694 --> 00:39:59,389 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 797 00:40:05,735 --> 00:40:07,600 - Can we just... - Right, yeah. 798 00:40:07,737 --> 00:40:09,136 - Yeah? Okay. - Yeah. 799 00:40:09,205 --> 00:40:10,502 - Please. - Okay. 800 00:40:14,577 --> 00:40:17,512 You get a special thank you for bringing food. 801 00:40:17,847 --> 00:40:19,007 I do? 802 00:40:19,349 --> 00:40:21,010 Yes, you do. 803 00:40:21,518 --> 00:40:22,507 Mmm. 804 00:40:23,353 --> 00:40:25,514 - You know what? - What? 805 00:40:26,589 --> 00:40:27,613 What? 806 00:40:28,124 --> 00:40:29,455 I got to pee. 807 00:40:31,494 --> 00:40:33,052 - I'll be right back. - All right. 808 00:40:40,870 --> 00:40:42,394 (TOILET FLUSHING) 809 00:40:45,141 --> 00:40:46,369 (EXHALING) 810 00:40:55,518 --> 00:40:56,883 Just give me a second, okay? 811 00:40:57,053 --> 00:40:58,042 Okay. 812 00:41:16,039 --> 00:41:17,301 Mmm. 813 00:41:19,309 --> 00:41:20,970 (WHISPERING) Focus, focus, focus. 814 00:41:25,748 --> 00:41:26,737 Should I keep going? 815 00:41:26,916 --> 00:41:28,747 - This never happens. - I'm aware. 816 00:41:29,085 --> 00:41:30,575 I'm serious. It doesn't. 817 00:41:30,787 --> 00:41:34,120 No, no, no. Don't worry about it. It's me. I'm a jinx. 818 00:41:34,591 --> 00:41:35,819 That's really helpful. 819 00:41:35,892 --> 00:41:37,689 You know what? Why don't you talk about all the other guys 820 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,627 that you slept with that couldn't get it up, 'cause then it would really like... 821 00:41:40,697 --> 00:41:42,187 Shh! Shh! Shh! 822 00:41:43,433 --> 00:41:45,424 Just calm down. 823 00:41:46,769 --> 00:41:48,828 Just give me a minute. 824 00:41:50,773 --> 00:41:52,263 Don't worry about it. 825 00:41:52,342 --> 00:41:53,502 I am worried about it! 826 00:41:53,576 --> 00:41:54,941 (SNICKERING) 827 00:41:55,044 --> 00:41:58,878 Jesus! Can you just please... Just show me a little kindness? 828 00:42:00,049 --> 00:42:01,209 Please. 829 00:42:01,851 --> 00:42:06,481 Oh, you lying sack of shit! You do have latent humanity. 830 00:42:07,423 --> 00:42:11,154 - Do you know what's going on here? - (SIGHING) I just want to have sex. 831 00:42:12,395 --> 00:42:14,226 Well, your body's telling you otherwise. 832 00:42:15,365 --> 00:42:17,299 What is that supposed to mean? 833 00:42:19,769 --> 00:42:21,066 Sit up. 834 00:42:21,137 --> 00:42:23,367 - I don't want to sit up. - Come on. Sit up. Sit up. Sit up. Come on. 835 00:42:25,975 --> 00:42:28,500 All right. Now talk to me. 836 00:42:28,978 --> 00:42:30,639 I don't want to talk. 837 00:42:30,713 --> 00:42:33,910 What else are we going to do? You've taken sex off the table. 838 00:42:33,983 --> 00:42:35,109 Oh! 839 00:42:35,218 --> 00:42:37,880 Come on. Come on. Tell me how your day was. 840 00:42:38,755 --> 00:42:40,052 - My day? - Mmm-hmm. 841 00:42:40,990 --> 00:42:44,653 JAMIE: So I sneak up to my room and I white out the "D" so it looks like a "B," 842 00:42:44,761 --> 00:42:46,956 which I did flawlessly. It was undetectable. 843 00:42:47,363 --> 00:42:49,854 And I go down to his study and I hand him the paper. 844 00:42:49,933 --> 00:42:51,958 And he gives me the face. 845 00:42:52,502 --> 00:42:54,402 And I'm like, "What?" 846 00:42:55,204 --> 00:42:56,228 Mmm-hmm. 847 00:42:56,339 --> 00:42:59,797 And then, from behind his back, he pulls out the goddamn carbon copy 848 00:42:59,876 --> 00:43:01,867 - that the school sent home. - Oh, no! 849 00:43:02,679 --> 00:43:04,476 - Yeah. - Wow. 850 00:43:04,547 --> 00:43:06,208 Genius. Genius. 851 00:43:09,052 --> 00:43:11,179 - You're so competitive. - No! 852 00:43:11,621 --> 00:43:14,590 Yeah! Yes, you are. Oh, my God, I tell you 853 00:43:14,657 --> 00:43:17,148 I'm involved with Trey Hannigan and you can't get it up. 854 00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:19,093 I could give a shit about Trey Hannigan. 855 00:43:19,929 --> 00:43:21,863 All you care about is beating him! 856 00:43:21,931 --> 00:43:24,024 - Bullshit! - You know, it's so prehistoric. 857 00:43:24,267 --> 00:43:26,462 All men care about is performance, 858 00:43:26,536 --> 00:43:28,163 but they have an appendage that doesn't work 859 00:43:28,237 --> 00:43:30,637 if they're worried about performance. 860 00:43:31,140 --> 00:43:33,199 Mmm. Well, you're an expert, so... 861 00:43:38,181 --> 00:43:40,445 Okay. If I'm an expert, then why is your company spending 862 00:43:40,516 --> 00:43:42,643 billions making a drug so that guys can get it up? 863 00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:43,708 Oh, I wish. 864 00:43:43,953 --> 00:43:45,716 It's true. I read it. Pfizer's making a fuck drug. 865 00:43:45,955 --> 00:43:47,786 Where'd you read that? 866 00:43:48,291 --> 00:43:49,553 I don't know. Ask your guys. 867 00:43:49,626 --> 00:43:52,686 I don't know where I read it. I'm a drug slut. I read everything. 868 00:43:53,062 --> 00:43:54,495 - What drug? - I don't know, 869 00:43:54,564 --> 00:43:55,895 but it's hard to believe, isn't it? 870 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,234 It's hard to believe. 871 00:44:00,169 --> 00:44:02,194 - It's gonna be pretty huge, though. - Oh! 872 00:44:02,805 --> 00:44:06,798 When I think of the size of the problem 873 00:44:07,076 --> 00:44:10,375 and that it's growing larger, really... 874 00:44:10,446 --> 00:44:12,311 - Really. - I can't even imagine! 875 00:44:12,382 --> 00:44:13,610 You know what I think... 876 00:44:13,683 --> 00:44:15,048 To have found a solution to the stiffest, hardest... 877 00:44:15,118 --> 00:44:16,107 Wow. 878 00:44:16,185 --> 00:44:19,677 - Pfizer must be swelling with pride. - I'm gonna stop you. 879 00:44:19,856 --> 00:44:21,380 No tickling! Stop! 880 00:44:21,457 --> 00:44:23,652 Stop! No tickling! No, please! (SHRIEKS) 881 00:44:23,726 --> 00:44:26,388 Don't tickle me just because you have a limp sense of humor! 882 00:44:26,462 --> 00:44:27,451 Oh! 883 00:44:37,173 --> 00:44:38,367 Hello. 884 00:44:42,812 --> 00:44:44,279 Keep talking. 885 00:44:44,347 --> 00:44:45,939 No more talking. 886 00:45:01,197 --> 00:45:03,563 Who are all these old people? 887 00:45:04,267 --> 00:45:07,100 Uh... Just some people I work with. 888 00:45:08,604 --> 00:45:11,038 Wow. These are beautiful. 889 00:45:12,141 --> 00:45:13,574 It looks like a photograph. 890 00:45:13,943 --> 00:45:15,410 When did you do this? 891 00:45:16,579 --> 00:45:17,568 Uh... 892 00:45:19,282 --> 00:45:21,580 Back when I could hold a brush. (CHUCKLES) 893 00:45:22,485 --> 00:45:24,316 Here's your breakfast. 894 00:45:27,156 --> 00:45:28,919 - Thanks. - Yeah, well... 895 00:45:33,396 --> 00:45:35,193 I'll call you. 896 00:45:36,866 --> 00:45:38,493 - Don't. - I will. 897 00:45:39,068 --> 00:45:40,057 I'm not kidding. 898 00:45:44,273 --> 00:45:47,208 I can't do this. 899 00:45:50,313 --> 00:45:52,338 I told you. 900 00:46:00,456 --> 00:46:02,219 Okay, then. 901 00:46:02,291 --> 00:46:04,418 See you. 902 00:46:11,868 --> 00:46:13,699 BRUCE: Your problem is you don't know how to close! 903 00:46:13,770 --> 00:46:16,136 You gotta tell the docs what they need. 904 00:46:16,205 --> 00:46:17,433 Somebody says no, that's when the fun starts. 905 00:46:17,507 --> 00:46:18,496 That means you are in. 906 00:46:18,574 --> 00:46:20,906 - My numbers are up. - Your Zithromax is up. Big deal. 907 00:46:20,977 --> 00:46:22,968 We're not going to Chicago on Zithromax. 908 00:46:23,045 --> 00:46:25,309 Depressed people, Randall, they're depressed every day. 909 00:46:25,381 --> 00:46:26,370 You gotta move Zoloft. 910 00:46:26,449 --> 00:46:29,043 - I want you to focus on Zoloft. - Zoloft. 911 00:46:29,118 --> 00:46:32,679 Counseling? Here's some counseling. Stop being a fucking bitch. 912 00:46:32,755 --> 00:46:34,484 Wait, did I use "you" language? 913 00:46:34,557 --> 00:46:35,615 Trial separation. 914 00:46:35,691 --> 00:46:38,558 I'm so sorry. I need to own my feelings. 915 00:46:38,628 --> 00:46:39,652 Fucking pepperoni. 916 00:46:39,729 --> 00:46:40,718 Let me rephrase that. 917 00:46:40,797 --> 00:46:43,857 I feel that you should stop being a fucking bitch! 918 00:46:46,002 --> 00:46:48,334 So, I hear we're coming out with a new sex drug. 919 00:46:48,671 --> 00:46:50,730 - What are you talking about? - Is it true? 920 00:46:50,807 --> 00:46:53,640 - Where did you hear that? - Heard it around. 921 00:46:53,709 --> 00:46:56,701 Sildenafil citrate. It's a PDE-5 inhibitor. 922 00:46:56,779 --> 00:46:59,270 They lucked into it during trials for blood pressure medication. 923 00:46:59,348 --> 00:47:02,476 Guys had massive boners the whole time. Where did you hear that? 924 00:47:02,552 --> 00:47:04,144 - (CHUCKLING) What's it called? - Viagra. 925 00:47:04,220 --> 00:47:05,983 - I want it. - Everybody wants it. 926 00:47:06,055 --> 00:47:07,044 I could sell the shit out of it. 927 00:47:07,123 --> 00:47:09,648 Can you see if there's some Tums in there for me in the glove compartment? 928 00:47:09,725 --> 00:47:11,090 - Bruce. - Tums me, buddy. 929 00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:12,354 Bruce. 930 00:47:12,428 --> 00:47:14,862 Bruce. I want that account. 931 00:47:15,464 --> 00:47:16,897 Why would I give it to you? 932 00:47:16,966 --> 00:47:19,662 Who can sell a dick drug better than me? 933 00:47:20,336 --> 00:47:22,770 Ten years, Jamie, ten excruciating years of marriage. 934 00:47:22,839 --> 00:47:24,466 It's like the lost decade. 935 00:47:24,540 --> 00:47:26,440 Oh, my God! 936 00:47:26,509 --> 00:47:28,807 I don't even know how to hit on women anymore. 937 00:47:28,878 --> 00:47:29,902 What do you do? What's your game? 938 00:47:29,979 --> 00:47:31,310 You need an IBS. Do you know what that is? 939 00:47:31,380 --> 00:47:32,404 Irritable Bowel Syndrome? 940 00:47:32,481 --> 00:47:33,470 An Initial Benefit Statement. 941 00:47:33,549 --> 00:47:35,779 Tell them who you are, why you're there and what you can do for them. 942 00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:36,841 All right? And just be yourself, Josh. 943 00:47:36,919 --> 00:47:38,511 - You'll be fine. - Thank you very much. 944 00:47:38,754 --> 00:47:40,722 Oh! Look who just walked in. 945 00:47:41,958 --> 00:47:43,721 Now's your chance, "Closer." 946 00:47:43,793 --> 00:47:44,817 Show me what you got. 947 00:47:47,964 --> 00:47:48,953 (WHISPERS) Show me. 948 00:47:49,298 --> 00:47:51,823 Hey! Pfizer, how's your fist? 949 00:47:51,901 --> 00:47:52,890 How's your jaw? 950 00:47:54,370 --> 00:47:56,065 Randall, you know Stan Knight, right? 951 00:47:56,138 --> 00:47:58,663 Stan, this is a bright young man from Pfizer. 952 00:47:58,741 --> 00:47:59,935 Yes, we've met. 953 00:48:00,009 --> 00:48:01,169 - Yeah. How you doing? - Fantastic. 954 00:48:01,244 --> 00:48:04,008 New study on Zoloft, 25% fewer side effects than Prozac. 955 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,911 So, I'm feeling good. 956 00:48:05,982 --> 00:48:07,813 You'd do better selling him if you got him laid. 957 00:48:07,884 --> 00:48:09,215 Can you get me laid? 958 00:48:10,219 --> 00:48:12,915 Stan's one of the more respected diagnosticians in town, 959 00:48:12,989 --> 00:48:14,581 but his real calling is pussy-hound. 960 00:48:14,657 --> 00:48:16,716 Yes, and I think your real calling is pimp. 961 00:48:17,226 --> 00:48:19,387 Now, you're banging Maggie Murdock, aren't you? 962 00:48:20,062 --> 00:48:21,086 You are. 963 00:48:21,163 --> 00:48:22,221 You are. 964 00:48:22,298 --> 00:48:24,858 Oh, God, those tits are unbelievable! 965 00:48:24,934 --> 00:48:26,401 - So not fair! - All right. 966 00:48:26,469 --> 00:48:29,961 No, no. You don't see that a lot in the neurologically damned. 967 00:48:30,039 --> 00:48:32,234 What do you mean, "damned"? You don't die from Parkinson's. 968 00:48:32,308 --> 00:48:34,105 Well, it's not much of a life, now is it? 969 00:48:34,176 --> 00:48:35,768 What do you mean? Interferon, L-dopa... 970 00:48:35,845 --> 00:48:37,403 It slowed the progress in the majority of cases. 971 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:38,777 Listen, Dr. Drug Rep. 972 00:48:38,848 --> 00:48:41,180 You know less than shit, okay? She's a sick girl. 973 00:48:41,250 --> 00:48:43,150 Oh. Is that what you told your wife? 974 00:48:43,219 --> 00:48:44,481 That's none of your fucking business. 975 00:48:44,553 --> 00:48:46,214 Maggie has all sorts of needs, 976 00:48:46,289 --> 00:48:48,154 and I don't think a pussy like you is up for the job. 977 00:48:48,224 --> 00:48:49,282 Right, and a married man is? 978 00:48:49,358 --> 00:48:50,950 - Whoa, whoa! - You really want me to hit you again? 979 00:48:51,861 --> 00:48:54,329 Chill out, man! Chill. Wait! Don't get aggressive. 980 00:48:54,397 --> 00:48:56,024 Don't get aggressive. Hey! 981 00:48:56,098 --> 00:48:58,157 Whoa! Baby, okay. It's okay. 982 00:48:58,234 --> 00:48:59,724 Inter-fucking-feron, really? 983 00:48:59,802 --> 00:49:00,996 - You know what? - Hey. 984 00:49:01,070 --> 00:49:02,059 Easy, easy. 985 00:49:02,138 --> 00:49:03,765 - I'm going home. - No, you're not. 986 00:49:03,839 --> 00:49:07,434 - No, no, no. I'm going home. - Good. Say hi to your wife. 987 00:49:07,510 --> 00:49:08,602 I'm keeping my eyes on you, buddy. 988 00:49:10,212 --> 00:49:11,975 That freaked me out. (EXHALING) 989 00:49:12,248 --> 00:49:13,272 (LAUGHS) 990 00:49:13,382 --> 00:49:15,976 He actually, physically hit you, didn't he? 991 00:49:16,052 --> 00:49:18,213 Yeah, he did, and I was afraid he was going to do it again. 992 00:49:18,287 --> 00:49:20,312 He might have to up his meds, that young man. 993 00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:22,983 Or maybe he needs to change to a drug that's proven more effective 994 00:49:23,059 --> 00:49:24,890 in controlling aggressive behavior. 995 00:49:24,961 --> 00:49:30,729 Zoloft produced 13% fewer outbursts in a controlled study of adult males. 996 00:49:31,067 --> 00:49:32,796 And I think it's... 997 00:49:32,868 --> 00:49:33,926 Turn to your left. 998 00:49:34,003 --> 00:49:35,800 (SOFTLY) Turn to your left right now. Turn to your left. 999 00:49:36,572 --> 00:49:38,005 Those two women, I know both of them. 1000 00:49:38,074 --> 00:49:39,735 Which one do you want to take home? 1001 00:49:42,378 --> 00:49:45,905 You're a superstar. Confidence is king. 1002 00:49:46,749 --> 00:49:50,810 Hey. What do you say we blow this joint, and then each other? 1003 00:49:51,988 --> 00:49:53,114 Okay. 1004 00:49:53,923 --> 00:49:55,254 Thank you. 1005 00:49:57,860 --> 00:49:59,122 We ready? 1006 00:49:59,195 --> 00:50:00,822 - You okay, champ? - No. 1007 00:50:05,668 --> 00:50:07,158 What are you doing? Are you calling her? 1008 00:50:10,106 --> 00:50:12,074 Hey, did she go down on you? 1009 00:50:12,141 --> 00:50:14,632 Farrah looks at my dick like it's the Eye of Sauron. 1010 00:50:15,711 --> 00:50:16,700 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 1011 00:50:16,779 --> 00:50:17,768 Hello? 1012 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:19,611 Did you call me? 1013 00:50:19,849 --> 00:50:21,612 No. I did not call you. 1014 00:50:21,951 --> 00:50:23,612 I think you did. 1015 00:50:23,853 --> 00:50:25,753 And what would I have said if I had called you? 1016 00:50:26,288 --> 00:50:27,687 That you want to see me? 1017 00:50:28,124 --> 00:50:31,355 Well, that would be nice, except I didn't call you. 1018 00:50:31,427 --> 00:50:32,451 Do you want to see me? 1019 00:50:32,528 --> 00:50:33,722 I'm hanging up now. 1020 00:50:33,796 --> 00:50:37,129 No. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't hang up. Don't hang up. 1021 00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:40,824 Why? 1022 00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,764 I like hearing the sound of your voice. 1023 00:50:52,214 --> 00:50:53,408 Bye, Randall. 1024 00:50:53,482 --> 00:50:54,744 Maggie! 1025 00:50:58,521 --> 00:51:02,252 You like hearing the sound of her voice? 1026 00:51:02,324 --> 00:51:03,882 Shut up. 1027 00:51:03,959 --> 00:51:07,224 Do you have a brain tumor? Were you molested by a Care Bear? 1028 00:51:07,329 --> 00:51:09,126 Were you abducted by aliens? 1029 00:51:09,198 --> 00:51:10,222 You hate women. 1030 00:51:10,299 --> 00:51:12,767 Why else would you screw so many of them? 1031 00:51:12,835 --> 00:51:15,065 It's time for you to overdose. 1032 00:51:15,304 --> 00:51:16,931 Oh! Oh! 1033 00:51:17,039 --> 00:51:18,802 Oh, she rejected you! 1034 00:51:18,874 --> 00:51:20,637 That's why you want her. 1035 00:51:20,709 --> 00:51:22,734 It's the first time in history that's ever happened. 1036 00:51:22,812 --> 00:51:24,040 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1037 00:51:24,113 --> 00:51:26,013 I was wondering something. Aren't you rich? 1038 00:51:26,082 --> 00:51:28,209 Why are you sleeping on my couch? 1039 00:51:30,519 --> 00:51:31,884 You're my big brother. 1040 00:51:32,955 --> 00:51:34,149 (SIGHING) 1041 00:51:35,524 --> 00:51:36,513 Here. 1042 00:51:37,059 --> 00:51:40,119 For people who never entered puberty. Take six. 1043 00:51:42,465 --> 00:51:43,454 All right. 1044 00:51:44,867 --> 00:51:47,358 - MAGGIE: You all right? - Can I pay by check? 1045 00:51:47,436 --> 00:51:50,803 Sam, remember I told you that the pharmacies only take cash? 1046 00:51:50,873 --> 00:51:52,773 Maggie! Mag! 1047 00:51:53,609 --> 00:51:55,304 Um... But, listen, why don't you just get on the bus, 1048 00:51:55,377 --> 00:51:56,844 we'll work it out there. Okay? All right. Good. 1049 00:51:56,912 --> 00:51:58,436 Maggie, I want to talk to you. 1050 00:51:58,514 --> 00:52:00,379 I can't talk right now, all right? 1051 00:52:00,449 --> 00:52:02,314 - I'm getting on a bus to Canada. - Canada? 1052 00:52:02,384 --> 00:52:03,544 Yes. Yes, Canada. 1053 00:52:03,619 --> 00:52:05,587 These people can't afford to pay for their prescriptions here. 1054 00:52:05,654 --> 00:52:07,485 Maggie, will we have bathroom breaks? 1055 00:52:07,556 --> 00:52:09,888 Sophie, remember I told you that there's a bathroom on the bus? 1056 00:52:09,959 --> 00:52:11,893 - Okay. - Okay. Let's go. 1057 00:52:11,961 --> 00:52:14,225 - Okay. When do you get back? - Never. 1058 00:52:15,097 --> 00:52:17,429 - Tomorrow night, late. - How late? 1059 00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:21,459 Just forget about it, okay? Please? I'm begging you. 1060 00:52:22,838 --> 00:52:25,864 (PRAISE YOU PLAYING) 1061 00:52:27,409 --> 00:52:28,774 (CHATTERING) 1062 00:52:28,878 --> 00:52:29,970 JAMIE: Why don't you take a pen? 1063 00:52:30,045 --> 00:52:31,979 I'll send you a pamphlet and an efficacy statement, okay? 1064 00:52:32,047 --> 00:52:34,038 What time is it, do you know? 1065 00:52:34,150 --> 00:52:37,051 Wow. Okay, I got to go. I'll give you a call, okay? 1066 00:52:38,687 --> 00:52:43,124 We've come a long, long way together 1067 00:52:43,192 --> 00:52:46,719 Through the hard times and the good 1068 00:52:47,429 --> 00:52:51,627 I have to celebrate you, baby 1069 00:52:51,700 --> 00:52:56,467 I have to praise you like I should 1070 00:52:59,708 --> 00:53:00,936 MAN ON STEREO:...know. 1071 00:53:01,010 --> 00:53:04,036 Know how to handle large sums of money 1072 00:53:04,113 --> 00:53:06,047 with harmony and with love, 1073 00:53:06,115 --> 00:53:09,448 and that the truth is that you have high ideals, 1074 00:53:09,518 --> 00:53:12,954 and that you are a person of great personal integrity, 1075 00:53:13,022 --> 00:53:17,322 and you will keep your mind focused upon financial prosperity. 1076 00:53:21,297 --> 00:53:23,094 (BUS ENGINE HISSING) 1077 00:53:25,467 --> 00:53:26,866 (EXHALES) 1078 00:53:31,907 --> 00:53:34,842 MAGGIE: Looks like you got all your stuff, right? Okay. Good. 1079 00:53:34,910 --> 00:53:37,572 - You guys travel home safe. - Thank you, sweetheart. 1080 00:53:37,646 --> 00:53:39,136 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 1081 00:53:39,481 --> 00:53:41,813 - Bye, Maggie! - Bye. 1082 00:54:00,869 --> 00:54:02,131 (EXHALES) 1083 00:54:03,505 --> 00:54:04,733 Hi. 1084 00:54:06,675 --> 00:54:09,166 When you end it, I get to hate you, 1085 00:54:09,245 --> 00:54:12,373 and act all cold, and tell embarrassing stuff to my friends. 1086 00:54:12,648 --> 00:54:13,637 Okay. 1087 00:54:13,716 --> 00:54:15,445 And you don't get to move in, 1088 00:54:15,517 --> 00:54:18,577 or become friends with my friends, or introduce me to your parents. 1089 00:54:18,654 --> 00:54:20,588 This is what this is, whatever this is. 1090 00:54:20,656 --> 00:54:21,680 Are you done? 1091 00:54:22,191 --> 00:54:23,488 Have you been here all night? 1092 00:54:23,559 --> 00:54:24,924 Yes. 1093 00:54:29,865 --> 00:54:31,526 Oh, Christ! 1094 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,090 (EXHALES TIREDLY) 1095 00:54:35,771 --> 00:54:37,898 Why am I mad at you already? 1096 00:54:52,388 --> 00:54:54,447 (MOANING) 1097 00:55:00,829 --> 00:55:03,024 (GASPING) 1098 00:55:05,401 --> 00:55:06,834 (GRUNTS) 1099 00:55:07,269 --> 00:55:09,464 (PANTING) 1100 00:55:16,945 --> 00:55:20,176 Oh, Jamie. It's Brucie. You want to meet me? 1101 00:55:20,249 --> 00:55:23,582 I've got a load of love in my trunk for you. Something you're going to like. 1102 00:55:23,652 --> 00:55:25,051 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. 1103 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,486 Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Call me, call me, call me. 1104 00:55:27,556 --> 00:55:28,784 You're gonna love me, love me... 1105 00:55:28,857 --> 00:55:29,846 (PHONE BEEPS) 1106 00:55:31,694 --> 00:55:32,683 Ah! 1107 00:55:33,262 --> 00:55:35,526 Jamie, it's Bruce. Where are you? 1108 00:55:35,597 --> 00:55:36,996 Who are you? 1109 00:55:40,369 --> 00:55:43,133 Let the games begin! 1110 00:55:45,307 --> 00:55:46,672 (BOTH GRUNT) 1111 00:55:46,742 --> 00:55:48,175 (HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH PLAYING) 1112 00:55:48,277 --> 00:55:51,303 Make it hot! Make it hot! 1113 00:55:51,380 --> 00:55:53,541 Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? 1114 00:55:53,615 --> 00:55:56,345 Ooh, heaven is a place on earth 1115 00:55:56,418 --> 00:55:58,943 Men with diabetes, men with prostate cancer, 1116 00:55:59,021 --> 00:56:00,921 men with massive penile injuries. 1117 00:56:00,989 --> 00:56:04,857 Men with performance anxiety, men with any common form of impotence 1118 00:56:04,927 --> 00:56:06,519 or sexual dysfunction. 1119 00:56:06,595 --> 00:56:09,291 Men without a useful erection in years! 1120 00:56:09,498 --> 00:56:11,193 - Boing! - (ALL LAUGHING) 1121 00:56:11,266 --> 00:56:14,702 Minimum side effects, long-term safety. This isn't a pill. 1122 00:56:14,770 --> 00:56:17,705 This is a revolution. Questions? 1123 00:56:17,773 --> 00:56:19,172 Yeah. Where are the samples? 1124 00:56:19,241 --> 00:56:21,175 - Right here, baby. Right here. - (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 1125 00:56:21,243 --> 00:56:24,041 You sure you want one? You want two? Who wants two? 1126 00:56:24,113 --> 00:56:27,776 Did you see this? Bob Dole says his TV commercials for Viagra 1127 00:56:27,850 --> 00:56:30,648 won't hurt his wife's campaign for President. 1128 00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:32,448 He also says the Viagra commercials 1129 00:56:32,521 --> 00:56:36,048 won't hurt his campaign to nail Heather Locklear. 1130 00:56:36,125 --> 00:56:38,525 - The dick drug! That's my brother's! - (CROWD CHEERING) 1131 00:56:38,861 --> 00:56:40,021 - (EXCLAIMS) - (MUFFLED) Oh, my God! 1132 00:56:40,095 --> 00:56:41,722 (MUFFLED) Oh, my God! 1133 00:56:41,797 --> 00:56:46,928 Viagra, the little pill that has started a gold rush for its manufacturer, 1134 00:56:47,002 --> 00:56:48,663 the drug giant Pfizer. 1135 00:56:50,139 --> 00:56:52,801 Jamie! Jamie! Hey! 1136 00:56:53,142 --> 00:56:55,303 - Ted Goldstein, ENT. - Oh, Ted, hi. How are you? 1137 00:56:55,377 --> 00:56:58,244 I'm good. Look, I got this friend, he's a radiologist. 1138 00:56:58,313 --> 00:57:00,440 He has a little problem. I thought maybe... 1139 00:57:00,516 --> 00:57:01,915 Say no more. 1140 00:57:02,918 --> 00:57:03,976 You're a gem. 1141 00:57:04,052 --> 00:57:06,816 Viagra is the first-ever pill to treat impotence. 1142 00:57:06,889 --> 00:57:10,052 It's easy, it's effective, and it's now wildly in demand. 1143 00:57:10,325 --> 00:57:12,088 (ALL CLAMORING) 1144 00:57:13,162 --> 00:57:15,096 Ooh, heaven is a place on earth 1145 00:57:15,164 --> 00:57:16,961 Oncologists are writing it, shrinks are writing it, 1146 00:57:17,032 --> 00:57:18,829 gastroenterologists are writing it. 1147 00:57:18,901 --> 00:57:20,994 Pediatricians are writing it for themselves! 1148 00:57:21,503 --> 00:57:23,266 I mean, pharmacies could stay open 24 hours 1149 00:57:23,338 --> 00:57:24,498 and they still couldn't meet the demand. 1150 00:57:24,573 --> 00:57:26,336 We're running 1,200 prescriptions a month. 1151 00:57:26,408 --> 00:57:29,343 That's more than my entire year's quota! And you don't care. 1152 00:57:29,411 --> 00:57:32,847 About a bunch of old guys with stiffies? Nope. 1153 00:57:32,915 --> 00:57:34,507 How can you be so callous? 1154 00:57:34,583 --> 00:57:37,848 Men are suffering worldwide from shame and... 1155 00:57:37,986 --> 00:57:39,681 (BELT UNBUCKLING) 1156 00:57:40,088 --> 00:57:41,749 (PANT UNZIPPING) 1157 00:57:43,358 --> 00:57:45,417 And frustration. 1158 00:57:50,699 --> 00:57:53,327 Oh, you're my little blue pill. 1159 00:57:55,003 --> 00:57:56,334 JOSH: Oh, for God's sake. 1160 00:57:56,405 --> 00:57:58,532 No. What about this do you think is okay? 1161 00:57:58,607 --> 00:58:01,667 What are you... I don't want to see this! No. 1162 00:58:01,743 --> 00:58:03,074 What the fuck are you doing? 1163 00:58:03,145 --> 00:58:05,875 - No, no, no! This is too much information. - I just need this. 1164 00:58:05,948 --> 00:58:08,212 Are you fucking filming it? 1165 00:58:08,784 --> 00:58:10,274 Do you do, like, close-ups and shit? 1166 00:58:13,055 --> 00:58:14,545 Who holds it? 1167 00:58:26,134 --> 00:58:27,123 (WHISPERING) Hey. 1168 00:58:30,072 --> 00:58:31,300 Wake up. 1169 00:58:31,373 --> 00:58:32,772 Oh! (CHUCKLES SLEEPILY) 1170 00:58:33,842 --> 00:58:34,831 Again? 1171 00:58:40,115 --> 00:58:41,104 Maggie! 1172 00:58:41,416 --> 00:58:42,781 (CHUCKLING) 1173 00:58:42,851 --> 00:58:46,514 Come on. I'm an artist. This is work. 1174 00:58:47,923 --> 00:58:49,356 Oh, my God. 1175 00:58:49,424 --> 00:58:50,914 Say something. 1176 00:58:53,629 --> 00:58:54,823 You're just too weird. 1177 00:58:54,897 --> 00:58:56,057 Yeah, well... 1178 00:58:58,934 --> 00:59:02,062 Hi, there. Jamie Randall here. 1179 00:59:02,771 --> 00:59:07,834 Just reporting from bed, having just fucked my girlfriend. 1180 00:59:08,410 --> 00:59:10,207 - And... - Don't use that word. 1181 00:59:10,279 --> 00:59:12,543 What? You use "fuck" all the time. 1182 00:59:12,614 --> 00:59:14,809 No, not "fucking." "Girlfriend." 1183 00:59:16,118 --> 00:59:17,449 That's what you are. 1184 00:59:21,890 --> 00:59:22,948 I am? 1185 00:59:23,992 --> 00:59:25,584 Yeah, you are. 1186 00:59:27,963 --> 00:59:29,760 I guess I am. 1187 00:59:33,635 --> 00:59:35,296 Jesus. 1188 00:59:36,338 --> 00:59:38,966 (WAY OVER YONDER IN THE MINOR KEY PLAYING) 1189 00:59:51,954 --> 00:59:55,617 I lived in a place called Okfuskee 1190 00:59:56,858 --> 01:00:00,487 And I had a little girl in a holler tree 1191 01:00:02,164 --> 01:00:06,032 I said, "Little girl it's plain to see 1192 01:00:07,402 --> 01:00:10,269 "Ain't nobody that can sing like me 1193 01:00:10,339 --> 01:00:13,536 "Ain't nobody that can sing like me " 1194 01:00:17,579 --> 01:00:21,709 She said it's hard for me to see 1195 01:00:22,751 --> 01:00:26,346 How one little boy got so ugly 1196 01:00:28,156 --> 01:00:31,523 Yes, my little girly that might be 1197 01:00:32,661 --> 01:00:35,926 But there ain't nobody that can sing like me 1198 01:00:35,998 --> 01:00:38,865 Ain't nobody that can sing like me 1199 01:00:40,836 --> 01:00:42,269 Way over yonder in the minor key 1200 01:00:45,574 --> 01:00:48,042 Way over yonder in the minor key 1201 01:00:48,110 --> 01:00:49,168 JAMIE: No, Mom. 1202 01:00:49,244 --> 01:00:53,340 No, it's not an aphrodisiac. It's a vasodilator. 1203 01:00:53,415 --> 01:00:56,043 A vasodilator. No, Ma... 1204 01:00:57,486 --> 01:00:59,647 No, just... No, l... 1205 01:01:00,389 --> 01:01:03,017 Yeah, I've already sold 2,000 prescriptions this month alone. 1206 01:01:03,625 --> 01:01:04,614 It's a lot of money. 1207 01:01:05,060 --> 01:01:06,493 (CHUCKLES) 1208 01:01:06,561 --> 01:01:10,088 (CLEARS THROAT) Okay, I really can't talk. Maggie needs me. 1209 01:01:10,165 --> 01:01:11,325 Okay, bye. 1210 01:01:13,135 --> 01:01:16,070 I thought you said it was 1,200 prescriptions. 1211 01:01:17,439 --> 01:01:18,428 It is. 1212 01:01:21,009 --> 01:01:23,102 Well, why did you tell her 2,000? 1213 01:01:24,046 --> 01:01:25,035 Did l? 1214 01:01:27,749 --> 01:01:28,807 Are you kidding? 1215 01:01:29,985 --> 01:01:31,577 I don't know, it just sounded better. 1216 01:01:34,256 --> 01:01:36,417 You told your mother a lie because it sounds better? 1217 01:01:36,491 --> 01:01:40,359 Look, she doesn't know numbers. 1218 01:01:40,429 --> 01:01:42,761 Do you tell me lies because they sound better? 1219 01:01:42,998 --> 01:01:44,056 (GROANS) No! 1220 01:01:44,132 --> 01:01:45,121 Well, why did you do it with her? 1221 01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,225 Because she wants to know that I'm doing well... 1222 01:01:47,302 --> 01:01:48,860 Okay, but you are doing well, 1223 01:01:48,937 --> 01:01:50,928 so why do you need to make it sound better? 1224 01:01:51,006 --> 01:01:53,201 Okay, you know what? 1225 01:01:53,275 --> 01:01:56,073 I will call her back up right now, and I will correct my mistake. 1226 01:01:56,144 --> 01:01:57,270 Okay? 1227 01:01:57,846 --> 01:01:59,370 (DIALING NUMBER ON PHONE) 1228 01:02:00,782 --> 01:02:02,682 Tell me four good things about yourself. 1229 01:02:04,953 --> 01:02:06,147 Excuse me? 1230 01:02:06,988 --> 01:02:07,977 You heard me. 1231 01:02:09,591 --> 01:02:10,990 Okay. 1232 01:02:12,027 --> 01:02:14,791 Four good things about myself. 1233 01:02:15,630 --> 01:02:17,291 I can... 1234 01:02:19,868 --> 01:02:21,096 Why are we doing this? 1235 01:02:21,169 --> 01:02:22,693 This is just... I don't... 1236 01:02:22,771 --> 01:02:25,205 You can't even think of four good things about yourself. 1237 01:02:25,273 --> 01:02:26,297 What? I totally can! 1238 01:02:26,374 --> 01:02:27,807 Do you think that you're generous? 1239 01:02:30,245 --> 01:02:31,303 Do you think you're sweet? 1240 01:02:34,483 --> 01:02:35,643 Not particularly. 1241 01:02:35,717 --> 01:02:37,014 Do you think that you're smart? 1242 01:02:38,153 --> 01:02:39,984 (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God! 1243 01:02:41,990 --> 01:02:43,480 Look at you. 1244 01:02:46,828 --> 01:02:48,159 You're this 1245 01:02:48,997 --> 01:02:50,487 talented, 1246 01:02:52,834 --> 01:02:57,601 charming, handsome, capable, determined, smart man. 1247 01:03:03,011 --> 01:03:04,342 I am? 1248 01:03:06,515 --> 01:03:07,982 Yes, you are. 1249 01:03:17,192 --> 01:03:18,181 I can juggle. 1250 01:03:21,229 --> 01:03:22,662 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 1251 01:03:22,864 --> 01:03:25,196 - Does it make it longer? - Time or inches? 1252 01:03:25,267 --> 01:03:27,633 WOMAN 1: How come we can't take it? JAMIE: You can. 1253 01:03:27,702 --> 01:03:29,636 WOMAN 2: Are you saying that we can get hard? 1254 01:03:29,704 --> 01:03:32,195 There is some indication of increased lubrication. 1255 01:03:32,274 --> 01:03:34,037 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1256 01:03:34,109 --> 01:03:36,839 - lf they come inside you, does it burn? - No. 1257 01:03:36,912 --> 01:03:38,903 How about in your mouth? 1258 01:03:39,714 --> 01:03:41,875 WOMAN 3: Jamie, we want more Viagra! 1259 01:03:41,950 --> 01:03:43,815 - More! More Viagra! - More Viagra! 1260 01:03:45,887 --> 01:03:48,355 Stan! Come here. Come over here! 1261 01:03:48,423 --> 01:03:52,325 Ladies, this is Dr. Stan Knight, king of all internists. 1262 01:03:52,394 --> 01:03:54,157 Right? And this is... 1263 01:03:54,229 --> 01:03:55,821 Cassie. 1264 01:03:55,897 --> 01:03:58,058 But my friends call me Lisa. 1265 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,230 Lisa wants to marry a doctor, so good luck. 1266 01:04:01,303 --> 01:04:02,634 Oh, dear. 1267 01:04:02,704 --> 01:04:04,797 Ladies, next round is on me! Okay? 1268 01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:06,632 (WOMEN WHOOPING) 1269 01:04:07,242 --> 01:04:08,869 Nice jacket, man. 1270 01:04:35,937 --> 01:04:37,564 Did you get laid? 1271 01:04:37,939 --> 01:04:39,099 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1272 01:04:39,574 --> 01:04:41,235 - Six times. - Mmm. 1273 01:04:41,676 --> 01:04:43,769 I was scared that you were. 1274 01:04:45,513 --> 01:04:46,980 You're crazy. 1275 01:05:00,595 --> 01:05:02,563 (SHUDDERING) 1276 01:05:02,631 --> 01:05:03,620 What? 1277 01:05:04,633 --> 01:05:05,691 Is everything okay? 1278 01:05:06,301 --> 01:05:08,462 Jamie... Honey? 1279 01:05:08,970 --> 01:05:11,370 - Honey, your heart's beating really fast. - I know. 1280 01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:12,800 What's... 1281 01:05:13,541 --> 01:05:16,009 Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. 1282 01:05:16,077 --> 01:05:17,101 (PANTING HARD) 1283 01:05:17,178 --> 01:05:19,009 Jamie. It's okay. It's okay. 1284 01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:20,104 Talk to me. 1285 01:05:20,982 --> 01:05:21,971 I... 1286 01:05:22,651 --> 01:05:23,640 I... 1287 01:05:23,885 --> 01:05:26,615 Okay, you know what? Just breathe. Don't even worry about it. 1288 01:05:26,688 --> 01:05:28,087 Just breathe. 1289 01:05:28,490 --> 01:05:30,151 It's okay. 1290 01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:31,482 (GROANS) 1291 01:05:31,559 --> 01:05:32,617 I... 1292 01:05:35,463 --> 01:05:37,294 -I love you. -What? 1293 01:05:37,365 --> 01:05:38,889 (GROANING) 1294 01:05:40,101 --> 01:05:41,500 Just give me a second, okay? 1295 01:05:42,337 --> 01:05:43,668 Oh, God, I do. 1296 01:05:45,373 --> 01:05:46,362 Uh... 1297 01:05:46,841 --> 01:05:48,502 - No, you don't. - Don't touch me! 1298 01:05:48,576 --> 01:05:49,907 (NERVOUSLY) Okay. Do you want a glass of water? 1299 01:05:49,978 --> 01:05:50,967 I'm sorry. 1300 01:05:51,046 --> 01:05:53,037 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. It's fine. 1301 01:05:53,114 --> 01:05:54,809 - A little water? - Yeah, water. 1302 01:05:56,651 --> 01:05:57,640 Oh, yeah. 1303 01:05:58,653 --> 01:06:01,315 Okay, see? Here you go. Here you go. 1304 01:06:02,424 --> 01:06:03,482 Okay. 1305 01:06:07,595 --> 01:06:09,495 (EXHALING) 1306 01:06:09,564 --> 01:06:11,759 - I love you. I can't stop saying it. - You don't... 1307 01:06:11,833 --> 01:06:15,098 - Just stop saying that, okay? - I can't. I love you. 1308 01:06:16,171 --> 01:06:17,160 You don't understand. 1309 01:06:18,306 --> 01:06:20,103 I've never said that to anyone before. 1310 01:06:21,910 --> 01:06:24,435 - You've never said "l love you"? - No. 1311 01:06:25,847 --> 01:06:27,178 You never said it to your parents? 1312 01:06:30,752 --> 01:06:31,776 No. 1313 01:06:31,853 --> 01:06:33,616 - You never said it to your brother? - Ugh! 1314 01:06:33,855 --> 01:06:35,755 Jesus, you're more fucked up than I am. 1315 01:06:37,592 --> 01:06:39,560 I once said it to a cat. 1316 01:06:41,863 --> 01:06:44,354 - Okay, that makes me feel better. - It does? Okay, good. 1317 01:06:44,432 --> 01:06:46,195 You can hold me now. 1318 01:06:46,735 --> 01:06:47,793 Okay. 1319 01:06:49,571 --> 01:06:50,902 (EXHALES) 1320 01:06:55,877 --> 01:06:56,866 Oh! 1321 01:06:57,078 --> 01:06:58,978 (MAGGIE MOANING ON TV) 1322 01:06:59,047 --> 01:07:00,241 Joshie! 1323 01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:07,711 That is disgusting. 1324 01:07:07,889 --> 01:07:11,154 Jamie, I didn't know you were coming home! 1325 01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:13,591 Oh! 1326 01:07:16,264 --> 01:07:17,663 - (JOSH WHISTLES) - (NERVOUSLY) Hey. 1327 01:07:17,732 --> 01:07:20,929 Listen, it's not what it looks like, okay? 1328 01:07:21,002 --> 01:07:22,526 Well, it kind of is, but... 1329 01:07:22,604 --> 01:07:23,901 Okay, just chill. 1330 01:07:23,972 --> 01:07:25,371 Yeah, chill. Oh, I'm sorry, 1331 01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:28,136 I thought I just caught my brother masturbating while watching me have sex. 1332 01:07:28,643 --> 01:07:30,736 Well, I was focusing on her. 1333 01:07:30,979 --> 01:07:32,139 Oh, "her." 1334 01:07:32,247 --> 01:07:34,238 - You mean my girlfriend! I'm sorry. - No. 1335 01:07:34,315 --> 01:07:36,078 Not on her! 1336 01:07:36,151 --> 01:07:39,450 On her body parts! Does video make everything look bigger? 1337 01:07:39,521 --> 01:07:41,955 Because I didn't think her tits were that big. 1338 01:07:42,023 --> 01:07:43,513 Then I saw you, 1339 01:07:43,591 --> 01:07:46,185 and I was like, "What, did an anaconda get loose on the bed?" 1340 01:07:46,261 --> 01:07:47,285 This is so twisted. 1341 01:07:47,395 --> 01:07:50,296 Do you think Dad's big? I mean, he was when we were kids, 1342 01:07:50,365 --> 01:07:54,096 but then everything's bigger when you're a kid, right? 1343 01:07:55,437 --> 01:07:57,598 Fine! Okay? Sorry! 1344 01:07:57,939 --> 01:07:59,031 My self-esteem would prefer 1345 01:07:59,107 --> 01:08:02,508 that you not have a bigger penis than me right now, that's all! 1346 01:08:02,577 --> 01:08:04,044 Shh! Shh! 1347 01:08:06,281 --> 01:08:07,748 Don't be mad. 1348 01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:10,945 (MAGGIE MOANING) 1349 01:08:11,519 --> 01:08:13,783 Run, Josh. Run, Josh. 1350 01:08:13,855 --> 01:08:15,254 Run, Joshie. 1351 01:08:15,323 --> 01:08:19,020 JOSH: We can talk about this like men! Ow! You're gonna ruin the tape! 1352 01:08:19,861 --> 01:08:23,228 JOSH: No normal human being can possibly fit in this back seat. 1353 01:08:23,298 --> 01:08:24,890 That definition excludes you, Josh. 1354 01:08:24,966 --> 01:08:27,958 I'd literally be more comfortable in the back of a Hot Wheels right now. 1355 01:08:28,236 --> 01:08:30,602 I've lost all feeling in my legs. 1356 01:08:33,408 --> 01:08:34,898 - Are you okay? - No! 1357 01:08:34,976 --> 01:08:37,137 I'm not talking to you, Josh. 1358 01:08:37,879 --> 01:08:39,312 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. 1359 01:08:39,380 --> 01:08:40,540 Okay. 1360 01:08:47,388 --> 01:08:48,582 (MAGGIE GRUNTING) 1361 01:09:08,910 --> 01:09:10,309 (GASPS) 1362 01:09:17,285 --> 01:09:18,616 (EXHALES) 1363 01:09:24,592 --> 01:09:26,025 (COUGHING) 1364 01:09:47,882 --> 01:09:49,281 (GRUNTING) 1365 01:10:10,905 --> 01:10:12,304 (BOTTLE FALLS) 1366 01:10:16,711 --> 01:10:17,837 He's waiting for you. 1367 01:10:17,912 --> 01:10:20,745 - So, how are you doing? - Fine. How's Maggie? 1368 01:10:23,051 --> 01:10:24,040 (EXHALES) 1369 01:10:24,919 --> 01:10:26,147 STAN: Come in! 1370 01:10:27,188 --> 01:10:28,712 - Whoa! - No, come in, come in. 1371 01:10:33,127 --> 01:10:34,287 Testosterone, man. 1372 01:10:34,596 --> 01:10:38,225 Chicago's in two days. I must prepare. 1373 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,628 It's a fucking orgy masquerading as a medical convention. 1374 01:10:41,703 --> 01:10:43,898 - You're coming, aren't you? - I don't know. 1375 01:10:44,472 --> 01:10:47,134 - Oh, right. How's she doing? - She's great. 1376 01:10:47,442 --> 01:10:49,273 Well, I'm not. I need a break. 1377 01:10:49,677 --> 01:10:51,611 HMOs are killing me. Killing me! 1378 01:10:51,679 --> 01:10:55,342 I need a lot of loosely moraled women to throw themselves at me. Hard. 1379 01:10:55,617 --> 01:10:57,414 Speaking of which... 1380 01:10:58,453 --> 01:11:00,819 Oh, you are a god! You're a god, sir! 1381 01:11:00,888 --> 01:11:02,116 You're really not coming to this? 1382 01:11:02,190 --> 01:11:03,521 You could do something for me. 1383 01:11:03,925 --> 01:11:04,914 Yeah, what's that? 1384 01:11:05,193 --> 01:11:07,457 You could start prescribing Zoloft instead of Prozac. 1385 01:11:08,696 --> 01:11:09,822 Um... 1386 01:11:11,199 --> 01:11:13,190 Well, Trey's a friend of mine, man. 1387 01:11:14,636 --> 01:11:16,126 I know. I know. 1388 01:11:18,273 --> 01:11:22,869 - (SIGHING) Sure. Zoloft. Okay. Why not? - Great. 1389 01:11:26,848 --> 01:11:28,679 - Hey! - Hey. 1390 01:11:30,718 --> 01:11:32,549 (STUTTERING) How was your day? 1391 01:11:32,820 --> 01:11:34,151 Amazing. 1392 01:11:35,556 --> 01:11:36,545 Mmm? 1393 01:11:37,992 --> 01:11:39,323 You? 1394 01:11:39,394 --> 01:11:41,589 Me? My day was... 1395 01:11:41,663 --> 01:11:43,324 My day was swell. 1396 01:11:44,666 --> 01:11:47,658 - I went to the clinic... - You did? 1397 01:11:47,735 --> 01:11:49,669 ...for a scrip 1398 01:11:51,005 --> 01:11:55,533 and waited for three hours sitting next to a man with a fork stuck in his head. 1399 01:11:56,044 --> 01:11:57,238 - What? - Yep. 1400 01:11:57,312 --> 01:12:02,682 (CHUCKLES) And then I went to the pharmacy to get the scrip filled. 1401 01:12:04,352 --> 01:12:07,014 Which was closed, 1402 01:12:08,356 --> 01:12:10,586 so no meds for Maggie. 1403 01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:19,690 Are you okay? 1404 01:12:22,603 --> 01:12:24,161 Why, do I look like shit? 1405 01:12:24,238 --> 01:12:25,535 - I didn't say that. - Yeah. 1406 01:12:25,606 --> 01:12:28,734 You didn't say. You didn't say it out loud. 1407 01:12:37,285 --> 01:12:38,616 Thanks, I'd love one. 1408 01:12:42,056 --> 01:12:43,387 Sorry. 1409 01:12:47,962 --> 01:12:50,328 You think maybe you've had enough? 1410 01:12:50,398 --> 01:12:53,060 Nope, I don't, but you do. 1411 01:12:53,735 --> 01:12:54,724 Excuse me? 1412 01:12:55,303 --> 01:12:58,238 Tell me, Randall, what exactly is it about me that's so desirable? 1413 01:12:58,473 --> 01:13:02,068 There's going to be 600 girls dying to blow you at this convention. 1414 01:13:02,310 --> 01:13:04,471 - Well, I'm not going to the convention. - Why not? 1415 01:13:04,612 --> 01:13:10,778 Go out with some sexy, limber ex-cheerleader from Alabama, 1416 01:13:11,152 --> 01:13:14,644 who's just dying to discuss market projections and sales techniques. 1417 01:13:15,089 --> 01:13:19,082 Or just a hot HMO administrator who likes to bake cookies 1418 01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:22,652 and rub your head while you discuss the evils of generics. 1419 01:13:22,930 --> 01:13:25,023 Or just, you know, I don't know, a normal person, 1420 01:13:25,099 --> 01:13:28,500 who has energy and likes to do things and have fun! 1421 01:13:28,569 --> 01:13:29,558 I happen to want you. 1422 01:13:29,637 --> 01:13:33,368 Why? Why? What are you trying to prove? 1423 01:13:33,841 --> 01:13:36,207 Are you trying to show that you're not a flake? 1424 01:13:36,277 --> 01:13:40,441 Are you trying to stick with something for once in your goddamn life? 1425 01:13:40,515 --> 01:13:42,949 I mean, you do realize that you are not a good person 1426 01:13:43,017 --> 01:13:45,008 because you pity-fuck the sick girl, right? 1427 01:13:58,032 --> 01:14:01,092 I almost went home with someone from the clinic today. 1428 01:14:01,302 --> 01:14:02,462 All right. 1429 01:14:04,138 --> 01:14:05,799 - There, you see? - All right. 1430 01:14:06,974 --> 01:14:08,805 Don't forget your pager. 1431 01:14:11,012 --> 01:14:12,172 (CRYING LOUDLY) 1432 01:14:14,849 --> 01:14:16,009 (SIGHING) 1433 01:14:47,181 --> 01:14:48,910 Come with me to Chicago. 1434 01:14:52,653 --> 01:14:54,450 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1435 01:14:55,857 --> 01:14:58,052 - Keith! How you doing, man? - Jamie. Good. 1436 01:14:58,125 --> 01:15:00,286 So good to see you. Everything going well? 1437 01:15:00,528 --> 01:15:03,861 I'm going to go off and do some girly thing, whatever that is. 1438 01:15:04,198 --> 01:15:06,530 - How will I reach you? - I'll beep you. 1439 01:15:09,370 --> 01:15:10,359 Stage One? 1440 01:15:11,439 --> 01:15:12,531 I'm sorry? 1441 01:15:12,607 --> 01:15:14,040 My son's a Stage Three. 1442 01:15:14,542 --> 01:15:16,271 It's not obvious, don't worry. 1443 01:15:17,612 --> 01:15:18,943 We're across the street. 1444 01:15:20,248 --> 01:15:23,911 Whenever you get tired of this bullshit and want to hear what's really going on... 1445 01:15:24,552 --> 01:15:26,213 Thank you. 1446 01:15:36,063 --> 01:15:37,394 WOMAN: Fuck soup. 1447 01:15:37,632 --> 01:15:39,463 Fuck shoelaces. 1448 01:15:39,734 --> 01:15:42,464 Fuck jewelry. And fuck brushing teeth. 1449 01:15:42,537 --> 01:15:44,334 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1450 01:15:44,405 --> 01:15:47,568 - Fuck... - Trying to tie your tie. Fuck... 1451 01:15:47,642 --> 01:15:48,836 Trying to button down a shirt. 1452 01:15:48,910 --> 01:15:51,242 And fuck that meditation shit. 1453 01:15:51,312 --> 01:15:53,007 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1454 01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:57,540 And who knew God wanted us to be so good 1455 01:15:57,652 --> 01:15:59,882 at giving hand jobs? 1456 01:16:02,924 --> 01:16:06,257 My husband is always smiling. 1457 01:16:08,496 --> 01:16:10,464 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 1458 01:16:16,771 --> 01:16:18,762 Parkinson's has made me 1459 01:16:20,174 --> 01:16:22,005 more sensitive and more compassionate. 1460 01:16:22,276 --> 01:16:27,009 Hopefully, got a long way to go in all this. I feel good, and... 1461 01:16:27,181 --> 01:16:31,049 So, it's a constant battle of trying to maintain some dignity 1462 01:16:31,118 --> 01:16:32,449 and grace in society. 1463 01:16:32,687 --> 01:16:35,850 And to overcome that, you just live with what you have. 1464 01:16:38,459 --> 01:16:39,983 (PAGER BEEPING) 1465 01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:49,963 Offering to hold the kid for just a minute, and he ends up in that tree over there. 1466 01:16:50,871 --> 01:16:54,864 One of my girlfriends asked me once if she could get me anything. 1467 01:16:55,142 --> 01:16:58,805 I said, "How about a new brain? Nothing fancy." 1468 01:16:59,046 --> 01:17:01,139 She said, "My husband's not using his." 1469 01:17:02,984 --> 01:17:04,474 Wait. Wait. 1470 01:17:05,486 --> 01:17:09,980 Never mind. Sorry. I thought I heard a cure coming. 1471 01:17:14,228 --> 01:17:16,219 But there are good things. 1472 01:17:16,497 --> 01:17:21,161 You have to understand that you're still yourself. 1473 01:17:21,502 --> 01:17:25,165 You're still there. And life goes on. 1474 01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:28,832 And life is beautiful. Thank you. 1475 01:17:36,851 --> 01:17:38,512 Parkinson's, right? 1476 01:17:39,353 --> 01:17:40,513 Oh, no. No. 1477 01:17:40,588 --> 01:17:41,919 No, your wife. 1478 01:17:42,356 --> 01:17:44,187 Girlfriend. 1479 01:17:46,193 --> 01:17:47,353 Stage One. 1480 01:17:47,595 --> 01:17:49,358 Good days and bad days, huh? 1481 01:17:49,864 --> 01:17:51,354 Mostly good days. 1482 01:17:52,266 --> 01:17:53,255 You? 1483 01:17:53,434 --> 01:17:55,265 Wife. Since '73. 1484 01:17:56,037 --> 01:17:57,368 Stage Four. 1485 01:17:58,105 --> 01:17:59,697 You got any advice? 1486 01:17:59,940 --> 01:18:02,534 - You don't need my advice. - Come on. I'm very trainable. 1487 01:18:05,046 --> 01:18:08,243 My advice is to go upstairs, pack your bags, and leave a nice note. 1488 01:18:08,315 --> 01:18:10,044 Find yourself a healthy woman. 1489 01:18:12,386 --> 01:18:16,550 I love my wife. I do. But I wouldn't do it over again. 1490 01:18:18,559 --> 01:18:20,390 The thing nobody tells you, 1491 01:18:20,461 --> 01:18:23,487 this disease will steal everything you love in her. 1492 01:18:23,564 --> 01:18:25,122 Her body, her smile, her mind. 1493 01:18:26,734 --> 01:18:29,066 Sooner or later, she'll lose motor control. 1494 01:18:30,071 --> 01:18:32,904 Eventually, she won't even be able to dress herself. 1495 01:18:32,973 --> 01:18:36,306 Then, the fun really begins. Cleaning up her shit. 1496 01:18:36,744 --> 01:18:39,076 Frozen face. Dementia. 1497 01:18:41,082 --> 01:18:42,982 It's not a disease, it's a Russian novel. 1498 01:18:46,987 --> 01:18:49,478 Look, I'm sorry. I'm out of line. 1499 01:18:50,925 --> 01:18:52,256 Hang in there. 1500 01:18:56,197 --> 01:18:59,189 Did you realize there are other people with Parkinson's? 1501 01:18:59,533 --> 01:19:01,364 How remarkable! 1502 01:19:01,702 --> 01:19:04,364 Amazing people. People doing things. 1503 01:19:04,605 --> 01:19:08,803 Like this one woman runs marathons, and another one scuba dives. 1504 01:19:08,876 --> 01:19:11,709 And they're pissed off and they're tired of being marginalized. 1505 01:19:11,779 --> 01:19:13,440 Oh, my God, they are so cool! 1506 01:19:13,514 --> 01:19:14,538 (GASPS) 1507 01:19:14,615 --> 01:19:16,913 I feel good. I feel really good. 1508 01:19:16,984 --> 01:19:19,714 I feel better than I have felt in a long time, and you brought me here. 1509 01:19:19,787 --> 01:19:23,120 I mean, okay, whatever, it was the wrong convention, sure, but... 1510 01:19:24,058 --> 01:19:26,390 Jamie, l... Jamie. 1511 01:19:29,497 --> 01:19:31,658 - I have been such a bitch to you. - Oh, no. 1512 01:19:31,732 --> 01:19:34,792 And you didn't even run away. How is that possible? 1513 01:19:35,069 --> 01:19:37,060 It's like, this is... 1514 01:19:37,905 --> 01:19:39,805 Like, the first time in my life that I've 1515 01:19:42,243 --> 01:19:44,473 ever not felt alone. 1516 01:19:44,812 --> 01:19:48,407 That someone is there for me. Do you know what that means? 1517 01:19:48,749 --> 01:19:50,580 Oh, my God. 1518 01:19:54,488 --> 01:19:55,682 I love you. 1519 01:19:57,825 --> 01:19:58,814 I do. 1520 01:20:00,761 --> 01:20:03,753 I love you. I love you, I love you. 1521 01:20:04,098 --> 01:20:05,929 I really love you. 1522 01:20:20,114 --> 01:20:21,445 (MAGGIE GRUNTING) 1523 01:20:35,429 --> 01:20:36,794 - Hey. - Hey. 1524 01:20:36,864 --> 01:20:38,525 What are you doing? 1525 01:20:39,466 --> 01:20:40,626 Nothing. 1526 01:20:41,135 --> 01:20:42,625 I fell asleep. 1527 01:20:48,342 --> 01:20:50,105 A cure for Parkinson's? 1528 01:20:50,711 --> 01:20:51,973 That's what I'm asking. 1529 01:20:52,213 --> 01:20:53,305 Pfizer, I'm a GP. 1530 01:20:53,547 --> 01:20:57,483 Twenty universities, 15 teaching hospitals, every major drug company, 1531 01:20:57,551 --> 01:20:59,382 and the goddamn NIH are all working on this. 1532 01:20:59,653 --> 01:21:01,348 And I'm sure the second they find it, 1533 01:21:01,422 --> 01:21:03,151 you're gonna be the first in line to sell it to me. 1534 01:21:03,557 --> 01:21:05,718 Well, in the meantime, she gets worse. 1535 01:21:05,993 --> 01:21:09,258 What is this, General Hospital? What do you want me to do? 1536 01:21:09,330 --> 01:21:10,729 I want you to feel bad about it, Stan. 1537 01:21:10,998 --> 01:21:13,432 If I felt bad about every patient that I couldn't help, 1538 01:21:13,500 --> 01:21:14,660 then I don't make it through the day. 1539 01:21:14,735 --> 01:21:16,396 What are the cutting edge treatments? 1540 01:21:16,670 --> 01:21:18,865 I don't know. You want me to get you a list? 1541 01:21:18,939 --> 01:21:20,338 Great. Tomorrow. 1542 01:21:23,344 --> 01:21:25,175 Pfizer, you're a nice kid. 1543 01:21:25,346 --> 01:21:28,679 You're starting to do well. You sure you want to do this? 1544 01:21:28,849 --> 01:21:31,374 And a list of doctors, and someone who I can contact at NIH. 1545 01:21:31,518 --> 01:21:32,507 Thank you, Stan. 1546 01:21:34,355 --> 01:21:35,515 Sure. 1547 01:21:38,826 --> 01:21:40,316 (EXHALES) 1548 01:21:53,974 --> 01:21:55,999 (SHOW BIZ BLUES PLAYING) 1549 01:21:58,045 --> 01:21:59,273 See this green area here? 1550 01:22:00,447 --> 01:22:01,471 (PAGER BEEPING) 1551 01:22:01,548 --> 01:22:02,879 I'm sorry. 1552 01:22:04,718 --> 01:22:05,707 (SIGHS) 1553 01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:08,420 Tell me, anybody 1554 01:22:09,723 --> 01:22:11,054 You okay? 1555 01:22:16,130 --> 01:22:18,257 JAMIE: Take the Z-Pak. Okay? 1556 01:22:18,332 --> 01:22:19,321 Jesus! 1557 01:22:20,601 --> 01:22:23,729 Do you really give a damn for me? 1558 01:22:28,309 --> 01:22:30,573 I'm sorry, Mr. Randall. That credit card is declined. 1559 01:22:31,412 --> 01:22:33,744 About a thing that's bothering me 1560 01:22:33,814 --> 01:22:36,647 The benefits of chelation, every toxic metal is removed. 1561 01:22:36,717 --> 01:22:39,185 I was a rambling pony 1562 01:22:39,253 --> 01:22:40,686 We've achieved complete remission 1563 01:22:40,754 --> 01:22:42,984 in patients with advanced metastatic cancer, 1564 01:22:43,757 --> 01:22:44,781 MS... 1565 01:22:44,992 --> 01:22:45,981 Fuck! 1566 01:22:46,126 --> 01:22:47,593 ...Parkinson's, lupus. 1567 01:22:48,429 --> 01:22:50,954 This therapy changes people's lives. 1568 01:22:51,432 --> 01:22:53,263 He forgot "world peace." 1569 01:22:54,835 --> 01:22:57,235 Are you saying to me that we flew 2,000 miles, 1570 01:22:57,304 --> 01:22:59,932 on our own nickel, so you can tell me that our appointment's been postponed? 1571 01:23:01,008 --> 01:23:02,202 For two weeks? 1572 01:23:03,110 --> 01:23:05,010 I'd like to talk to Dr. Rosenblum, okay? 1573 01:23:05,512 --> 01:23:07,605 Do I look like I care? 1574 01:23:07,948 --> 01:23:11,440 I don't give a shit where he is! I don't understand... 1575 01:23:13,020 --> 01:23:15,011 Get the head of the hospital on the phone. 1576 01:23:15,289 --> 01:23:17,314 We've arranged our entire schedule around that, 1577 01:23:17,391 --> 01:23:18,415 and then you come and you tell me... 1578 01:23:18,492 --> 01:23:21,393 No, you don't understand. Okay? We waited two weeks... 1579 01:23:21,762 --> 01:23:24,856 I would like to talk to the head of the hospital about it. 1580 01:23:26,900 --> 01:23:27,889 Hey. 1581 01:23:30,738 --> 01:23:31,727 Hey. 1582 01:23:32,139 --> 01:23:33,936 - I am so fed up with those people. - I want to go home. 1583 01:23:34,008 --> 01:23:35,498 Okay, look, we can do the test, and then go home, okay? 1584 01:23:35,576 --> 01:23:36,634 Randall. 1585 01:23:36,710 --> 01:23:39,235 There's just all this red tape and all this new protocol... 1586 01:23:39,313 --> 01:23:42,373 Don't try to sell me! Please! Okay? I'm not going to get better. 1587 01:23:42,649 --> 01:23:46,312 - That's bullshit. - This is bullshit. I'm tired and I'm bored. 1588 01:23:46,387 --> 01:23:47,979 What are you bored of? 1589 01:23:48,055 --> 01:23:50,489 Parkinson's isn't my life! I have Parkinson's. 1590 01:23:50,557 --> 01:23:53,253 Why can't I just live my life instead of becoming this project? 1591 01:23:53,327 --> 01:23:55,318 Do you know that what's ahead of me is bad enough? 1592 01:23:55,562 --> 01:23:57,052 - Don't you want to get... - No! 1593 01:23:57,331 --> 01:23:59,993 You want. This has become way too important to you. 1594 01:24:00,234 --> 01:24:01,861 What are you talking about? Don't you want to get better? 1595 01:24:02,002 --> 01:24:06,496 Yes! Desperately! It's not going to happen. All right? News flash, there's no cure. 1596 01:24:08,275 --> 01:24:10,937 Apparently you need to know that I'll get better in order to love me. 1597 01:24:12,079 --> 01:24:13,341 That's insane. 1598 01:24:20,721 --> 01:24:21,983 (SIGHING) 1599 01:24:23,424 --> 01:24:25,415 You need to get your stuff out of my apartment. 1600 01:24:25,859 --> 01:24:27,349 What the hell? 1601 01:24:28,028 --> 01:24:31,828 You're on the fast track, Randall. Chicago, then management. 1602 01:24:32,032 --> 01:24:33,659 Next stop, CEO. 1603 01:24:34,668 --> 01:24:36,363 You can't do that with a sick person holding you back. 1604 01:24:36,437 --> 01:24:37,597 I can do anything I want. 1605 01:24:38,005 --> 01:24:39,336 (SIGHING) I know. 1606 01:24:42,209 --> 01:24:43,870 You're a good man. 1607 01:24:44,445 --> 01:24:46,606 In fact, you're a wonderful man. 1608 01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,773 Much better than you give yourself credit for. 1609 01:24:50,117 --> 01:24:52,779 Nobody wants to be the one who runs away. 1610 01:24:53,053 --> 01:24:55,544 - I'm not running away. - It's not your choice. 1611 01:25:00,561 --> 01:25:03,792 Let's just go home. We can even make love. 1612 01:25:07,468 --> 01:25:08,958 And then you have to leave. 1613 01:25:20,180 --> 01:25:21,408 (SIGHING) 1614 01:25:23,584 --> 01:25:24,915 This is so stupid. 1615 01:25:24,985 --> 01:25:26,077 Stop. 1616 01:25:30,958 --> 01:25:32,289 We don't have to do this. 1617 01:25:33,160 --> 01:25:34,252 Good-bye. 1618 01:25:50,477 --> 01:25:52,104 (ENGINE STARTING) 1619 01:26:32,886 --> 01:26:34,683 (MAGGIE SOBBING) 1620 01:26:39,693 --> 01:26:41,354 (SIGHING DEEPLY) 1621 01:26:41,695 --> 01:26:43,322 (JOSH SNORING) 1622 01:27:08,021 --> 01:27:10,581 Hi. You have reached M. Murdock. 1623 01:27:10,657 --> 01:27:14,423 If I'm not picking up, it's probably because I don't want to talk to you. 1624 01:27:18,198 --> 01:27:20,530 This is actually sad. 1625 01:27:21,602 --> 01:27:23,763 Are you trying to get it in the actual garbage, 1626 01:27:23,837 --> 01:27:25,395 or just around it, to piss it off? 1627 01:27:25,472 --> 01:27:27,064 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1628 01:27:30,677 --> 01:27:31,905 (GROANS) 1629 01:27:32,613 --> 01:27:34,274 Stan! What's up? 1630 01:27:34,548 --> 01:27:38,040 What's fucking up is your friend, Lisa-Cassie, whatever her name is, 1631 01:27:38,118 --> 01:27:41,110 is having a pajama party at some rich guy's house this evening. 1632 01:27:41,388 --> 01:27:42,480 Pajama party? 1633 01:27:42,556 --> 01:27:43,545 What's a pajama party? 1634 01:27:43,957 --> 01:27:46,152 Is that, like, girls wearing pajamas? Getting naked? 1635 01:27:46,226 --> 01:27:51,220 I thought maybe you might bring by a little vitamin V, some little men in blue. 1636 01:27:51,498 --> 01:27:54,729 Stan, I'd love to. I don't think I can. I'm feeling a little... 1637 01:27:54,801 --> 01:27:55,790 What are you doing? 1638 01:27:55,869 --> 01:27:57,234 (IMITATING JAMIE) Yes, Stan, it's me, Jamie. 1639 01:27:57,304 --> 01:27:59,704 I'll totally be there. See you later. Bye. 1640 01:27:59,973 --> 01:28:01,941 Hey, you and I are going to a pajama party. 1641 01:28:02,009 --> 01:28:04,569 So, you should get ready, 'cause I'm in pajamas. 1642 01:28:05,445 --> 01:28:06,537 JOSH: I'm having second thoughts, Jamie. 1643 01:28:06,613 --> 01:28:08,376 I haven't been to a pajama party since 4th grade. 1644 01:28:08,448 --> 01:28:09,915 What if people start taking their clothes off? 1645 01:28:09,983 --> 01:28:12,508 Oh, my God! I didn't want to come here in the first place. 1646 01:28:12,586 --> 01:28:13,678 You're the one who wanted to come. 1647 01:28:13,754 --> 01:28:14,948 JOSH: Will people have to see me naked? 1648 01:28:15,022 --> 01:28:16,421 I can't even pee in front of other people. 1649 01:28:16,490 --> 01:28:17,479 JAMIE: You have a beautiful body. 1650 01:28:17,557 --> 01:28:20,082 I don't know how many times I have to tell you, you have a beautiful body. 1651 01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:21,957 JOSH: It's actually very upsetting when you say that. 1652 01:28:23,263 --> 01:28:24,696 (LISA CHUCKLES) 1653 01:28:24,765 --> 01:28:26,756 Well, look who's here! 1654 01:28:27,100 --> 01:28:30,092 How working class. Love it. 1655 01:28:31,004 --> 01:28:32,096 Come in. 1656 01:28:32,172 --> 01:28:33,901 (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) 1657 01:28:37,944 --> 01:28:40,139 (SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 1658 01:28:48,789 --> 01:28:53,783 How the fuck am I supposed to do good medicine on 50 patients a day? 1659 01:28:54,461 --> 01:28:55,792 Plus rounds. 1660 01:28:56,129 --> 01:28:59,792 And phone calls every day with family... Fucking idiots, 1661 01:29:00,033 --> 01:29:03,799 telling you, "No, you're wrong," because they looked it up on the Internet. 1662 01:29:04,104 --> 01:29:05,093 (LAUGHS) 1663 01:29:05,806 --> 01:29:09,799 I fight over billing, I fight over prescription coverage. 1664 01:29:09,876 --> 01:29:10,968 (SCOFFS) 1665 01:29:11,144 --> 01:29:15,240 The insurance companies are dedicated to not paying you. 1666 01:29:16,817 --> 01:29:19,809 And the big law firms, man, they're just waiting. 1667 01:29:20,153 --> 01:29:25,147 They're just betting you're going to make that one big mistake. 1668 01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:30,823 This profession for me, it was a higher calling. 1669 01:29:31,164 --> 01:29:33,223 You know? Make people's lives better. 1670 01:29:38,739 --> 01:29:40,570 And look at me. 1671 01:29:43,677 --> 01:29:45,167 LISA: Here they are, for Christ's sake. 1672 01:29:45,412 --> 01:29:48,347 Randall, get up from the floor! Come with me. 1673 01:29:48,648 --> 01:29:51,139 Come with me. Come on! Come on! 1674 01:29:51,351 --> 01:29:52,511 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you all right? 1675 01:29:52,753 --> 01:29:55,779 Go forth, my son. Be fruitful and multiply. 1676 01:29:56,423 --> 01:29:57,412 (LAUGHS) 1677 01:29:57,691 --> 01:30:02,025 The thing about the software business is it's very, very volatile. 1678 01:30:02,362 --> 01:30:05,923 You never know where the financial model's going to go. 1679 01:30:06,199 --> 01:30:08,326 It changes every six months. 1680 01:30:08,402 --> 01:30:10,802 And you never know what these hospitals are gonna want. 1681 01:30:10,871 --> 01:30:13,931 One day (CLEARS THROAT) it's peer-to-peer connectivity, 1682 01:30:14,007 --> 01:30:18,341 then next it's top-down integration with their preexisting infrastructure. 1683 01:30:18,412 --> 01:30:20,539 (ENGINE HEART PLAYING) 1684 01:30:21,214 --> 01:30:22,476 You can touch them, if you want. 1685 01:30:22,816 --> 01:30:24,477 Oh! Oh. 1686 01:30:25,719 --> 01:30:27,050 Thank you. 1687 01:30:29,222 --> 01:30:30,621 - This way. You'll see. - No, no, no. 1688 01:30:30,690 --> 01:30:32,555 - I don't think we should do this. - I have a surprise for you. 1689 01:30:32,626 --> 01:30:34,958 No, no, no. Turn around. I've got a surprise. 1690 01:30:35,562 --> 01:30:37,792 This is my homegirl, Khae. 1691 01:30:38,965 --> 01:30:39,954 Whoa! 1692 01:30:40,901 --> 01:30:42,562 She's Thai. 1693 01:30:43,069 --> 01:30:44,400 And I'm Thai-curious. 1694 01:30:45,172 --> 01:30:47,106 Engine turning over won't you start? 1695 01:30:47,174 --> 01:30:48,471 (EXHALING) 1696 01:30:49,075 --> 01:30:52,306 This one's come to tear me all apart 1697 01:30:53,079 --> 01:30:55,240 She's Jamie-curious. 1698 01:30:57,617 --> 01:31:00,677 Be still my heart 1699 01:31:00,754 --> 01:31:02,847 - So am l. - No, no, wait. I don't... 1700 01:31:03,190 --> 01:31:05,954 Engine turning over won't you start? 1701 01:31:06,660 --> 01:31:09,686 This one's come to tear me all apart 1702 01:31:09,763 --> 01:31:11,856 Be still my heart 1703 01:31:11,932 --> 01:31:14,423 Did I mention that I just took my company public? 1704 01:31:14,768 --> 01:31:15,962 It's a pretty exciting thing 1705 01:31:16,036 --> 01:31:18,197 because you work on something for so long, 1706 01:31:18,271 --> 01:31:20,967 and then (EXCLAIMS) when it comes, it's... 1707 01:31:21,975 --> 01:31:24,205 You know, you see the fruits bear... 1708 01:31:24,277 --> 01:31:28,941 (MUFFLED) Okay! So, I really have mixed feelings about this. 1709 01:31:32,953 --> 01:31:35,444 We like Jamie. 1710 01:31:35,755 --> 01:31:39,418 We like Jamie very much. 1711 01:31:39,893 --> 01:31:42,521 Oh. Oh. 1712 01:31:43,096 --> 01:31:44,256 What's wrong? 1713 01:31:44,431 --> 01:31:45,796 (GRUNTS) 1714 01:31:46,333 --> 01:31:47,800 (GROANING) 1715 01:31:52,472 --> 01:31:54,201 (EXHALING) 1716 01:31:56,176 --> 01:31:58,701 (MOANS) 1717 01:31:58,979 --> 01:32:01,447 (SCREAMING IN PAIN) 1718 01:32:03,650 --> 01:32:05,641 Sorry! I'm sorry! 1719 01:32:05,986 --> 01:32:07,647 - (WHISPERS) Josh! - MAN: Be careful. 1720 01:32:08,255 --> 01:32:10,917 - I'm sorry. Stan. - STAN: Hey, Pfizie. 1721 01:32:10,991 --> 01:32:12,458 Josh! Ow! 1722 01:32:13,159 --> 01:32:14,148 (GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION) 1723 01:32:14,828 --> 01:32:15,817 Josh! Oh! 1724 01:32:15,996 --> 01:32:17,987 Wait! We were just talking! 1725 01:32:18,398 --> 01:32:20,491 - Hi. - Hi. We got to go. 1726 01:32:20,567 --> 01:32:21,556 - JOSH: Now? - Josh! 1727 01:32:21,835 --> 01:32:23,928 - It was a pleasure to meet you. - Very nice to meet you. 1728 01:32:24,004 --> 01:32:25,028 We'll keep in touch. 1729 01:32:27,040 --> 01:32:28,940 It feels like a frozen Popsicle. 1730 01:32:29,376 --> 01:32:31,708 Shit. I didn't know that could even happen. 1731 01:32:31,778 --> 01:32:34,645 It's very rare, but it happens. 1732 01:32:34,714 --> 01:32:37,342 - Do you think they'll have to amputate? - Shut the fuck up, Josh, and drive! 1733 01:32:37,417 --> 01:32:38,406 Bad joke. 1734 01:32:38,485 --> 01:32:39,509 (SCREAMS) 1735 01:32:39,619 --> 01:32:42,554 Fuck! Sorry. I was looking for the shift! 1736 01:32:43,123 --> 01:32:44,681 - So fucking... - Sorry. 1737 01:32:45,058 --> 01:32:46,355 You know, for whatever it's worth, 1738 01:32:46,426 --> 01:32:49,054 this has truly been the best night of my life. 1739 01:32:49,129 --> 01:32:50,153 That's wonderful. 1740 01:32:50,230 --> 01:32:51,891 No, seriously. I'm not even kidding. 1741 01:32:52,132 --> 01:32:53,429 And I have you to thank for it. 1742 01:32:53,500 --> 01:32:56,526 I mean, I never thought I would have an experience like this ever in my life. 1743 01:32:56,770 --> 01:33:01,070 And this is the incredible thing. This is why I'm so happy right now. 1744 01:33:01,308 --> 01:33:06,336 Because I fucked that girl. Oh, my shit, I fucked that girl! 1745 01:33:06,413 --> 01:33:07,402 And I'm thinking to myself, 1746 01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:11,143 "Oh, my God, this is empty! I feel absolutely nothing at all! " 1747 01:33:11,651 --> 01:33:13,118 - That's great, Josh. - Yeah. 1748 01:33:13,186 --> 01:33:15,950 All those years I was so jealous of you for having empty sex, 1749 01:33:16,022 --> 01:33:17,887 and now I was the one having the empty sex, 1750 01:33:17,958 --> 01:33:20,893 and I realized in that moment that if I hadn't experienced it, 1751 01:33:21,227 --> 01:33:25,493 I wouldn't have known how much I didn't want it. You know? 1752 01:33:25,565 --> 01:33:30,366 And now I can go back home to Farrah and feel really good about myself 1753 01:33:30,437 --> 01:33:34,669 for the first time in my entire life. 1754 01:33:34,874 --> 01:33:36,273 And it's all because of you, Jamie. 1755 01:33:36,509 --> 01:33:38,374 It's all because of my big brother Jamie, 1756 01:33:38,445 --> 01:33:40,811 with the enormous cock that won't go down! 1757 01:33:40,880 --> 01:33:42,006 (LAUGHS) 1758 01:33:42,115 --> 01:33:43,514 So thank you, brother! 1759 01:33:43,783 --> 01:33:45,011 Sorry! My bad! 1760 01:33:48,788 --> 01:33:51,621 Plus, my Pfizer stock's up 40%. 1761 01:33:58,365 --> 01:33:59,389 - Hi. - Hi. 1762 01:33:59,466 --> 01:34:02,128 - Can I help you? - I'm having a drug reaction. 1763 01:34:02,369 --> 01:34:03,666 What kind of drug reaction? 1764 01:34:06,940 --> 01:34:08,407 Oh. Oh. 1765 01:34:10,410 --> 01:34:12,401 Just take a seat and we'll be right with you. 1766 01:34:16,616 --> 01:34:18,106 (PAGER BEEPING) 1767 01:34:21,988 --> 01:34:23,148 What? 1768 01:34:26,493 --> 01:34:27,824 Chicago. 1769 01:34:29,062 --> 01:34:30,256 I got it. 1770 01:34:30,363 --> 01:34:35,391 (LAUGHS) Dude. Congratulations! That is unbelievable. 1771 01:34:36,002 --> 01:34:40,166 Jamie, that's everything that you've wanted. That's incredible, man. 1772 01:34:40,407 --> 01:34:44,241 I'm very proud of you. I'm not surprised, but I am very proud of you. 1773 01:34:44,511 --> 01:34:46,172 You know who's going to be thrilled, is Mom and Dad. 1774 01:34:46,413 --> 01:34:49,814 Jamie Randall makes good. That's incredible, man. 1775 01:34:49,883 --> 01:34:51,851 You should be very, very proud of yourself. 1776 01:34:51,918 --> 01:34:52,907 Mmm. 1777 01:34:53,453 --> 01:34:54,920 (CHATTERING) 1778 01:34:59,259 --> 01:35:01,557 If you're going to serve beef bourguignon, 1779 01:35:01,628 --> 01:35:03,596 you should at least offer a proper Burgundy. 1780 01:35:03,930 --> 01:35:06,262 Or a Pinot, for Christ's sake. 1781 01:35:12,439 --> 01:35:13,497 Randall. 1782 01:35:14,774 --> 01:35:15,763 Maggie. 1783 01:35:17,544 --> 01:35:18,909 (STUTTERS) 1784 01:35:19,079 --> 01:35:21,070 Oh, I'm sorry. This is Jeremy. 1785 01:35:21,548 --> 01:35:23,209 - Justin. - Justin! Justin. 1786 01:35:25,618 --> 01:35:26,949 I'll go get the car. 1787 01:35:27,287 --> 01:35:29,448 That would be great, Justin. 1788 01:35:37,964 --> 01:35:39,625 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1789 01:35:41,701 --> 01:35:43,362 I... I was... 1790 01:35:50,310 --> 01:35:51,709 I tried to call you... 1791 01:35:51,978 --> 01:35:53,536 I'm with someone. 1792 01:35:53,613 --> 01:35:55,376 Yeah, I can see that. 1793 01:35:59,986 --> 01:36:01,146 So... 1794 01:36:03,556 --> 01:36:04,750 How are you? 1795 01:36:06,559 --> 01:36:07,548 I'm good. 1796 01:36:08,828 --> 01:36:09,817 Good. 1797 01:36:11,865 --> 01:36:13,059 Come on. 1798 01:36:14,000 --> 01:36:15,558 I gotta go. 1799 01:36:16,035 --> 01:36:17,229 Maggie? 1800 01:36:23,676 --> 01:36:24,836 It 1801 01:36:27,347 --> 01:36:28,678 was nice to see you. 1802 01:36:34,187 --> 01:36:35,916 You're killing me, Randall. 1803 01:36:37,023 --> 01:36:40,754 - Hey. There he is! You ready to celebrate? - Hey. 1804 01:36:41,427 --> 01:36:42,416 Maggie! 1805 01:36:43,930 --> 01:36:45,955 - Hi, Bruce. - How are you? 1806 01:36:47,700 --> 01:36:48,928 What are you celebrating? 1807 01:36:49,202 --> 01:36:52,103 This young rock star is about to take Chicago by storm. 1808 01:36:52,505 --> 01:36:53,904 (CHUCKLES) 1809 01:36:56,609 --> 01:36:57,735 You got Chicago? 1810 01:37:01,881 --> 01:37:04,816 Congratulations. It was good to see you, Bruce. I should go. 1811 01:37:04,884 --> 01:37:05,873 Nice to see you, Maggie. 1812 01:37:07,120 --> 01:37:08,212 MAGGIE: Peace. 1813 01:37:08,655 --> 01:37:09,747 Uh... 1814 01:37:15,061 --> 01:37:17,996 So, I called it, didn't I call it? What'd I tell you? Say, "l called it." 1815 01:37:18,064 --> 01:37:19,531 - You should've put money on it. - I called it. 1816 01:37:19,599 --> 01:37:20,827 Where you gonna live? 1817 01:37:20,900 --> 01:37:23,664 Downtown, maybe. Somewhere far away from my family. 1818 01:37:23,736 --> 01:37:24,998 Downtown? 1819 01:37:25,238 --> 01:37:28,503 You? You want Near North, man. (WHISPERS) Pussy! 1820 01:37:29,242 --> 01:37:31,904 And bistros, bars, (WHISPERS) pussy, pussy, pussy. 1821 01:37:34,414 --> 01:37:36,575 Why don't I move out near you? The 'burbs. 1822 01:37:36,683 --> 01:37:38,173 We'll go get a beer every once in a while. 1823 01:37:38,251 --> 01:37:40,913 - Nah. You don't want to do that. No. - (CHUCKLES) 1824 01:37:41,254 --> 01:37:42,414 Why not? 1825 01:37:50,663 --> 01:37:53,723 I got a big raise, buddy. Big raise. 1826 01:37:54,267 --> 01:37:55,598 - You're kidding me. - Thanks to you! 1827 01:37:56,402 --> 01:37:57,460 Those bastards. 1828 01:37:58,004 --> 01:38:01,337 Buddy, I was never going to get Chicago. I'm too valuable to them in the field. 1829 01:38:01,441 --> 01:38:02,430 I can't believe this. 1830 01:38:02,508 --> 01:38:05,443 Give me some credit! It takes a sophisticated eye 1831 01:38:05,545 --> 01:38:08,309 to spot talent in colossal fuck-ups such as yourself. 1832 01:38:09,215 --> 01:38:11,445 - (SIGHS) I don't understand. - Don't be so naive. 1833 01:38:11,517 --> 01:38:12,779 I didn't actually want to go to Chicago. 1834 01:38:12,852 --> 01:38:14,342 I wanted you to think I wanted to go to Chicago, 1835 01:38:14,420 --> 01:38:15,785 so you'd want to go to Chicago. 1836 01:38:15,855 --> 01:38:17,413 So you'd work your ass off to get there. 1837 01:38:17,490 --> 01:38:18,855 - Oh, Bruce, this is unbelievable. - Me, 1838 01:38:19,058 --> 01:38:21,526 I love the road! I love a stinky motel! 1839 01:38:21,895 --> 01:38:24,830 I love the barren back roads and strip malls of the heartland! 1840 01:38:25,064 --> 01:38:26,088 That's what I love. 1841 01:38:26,165 --> 01:38:27,496 Why would I want to live in my own house? 1842 01:38:27,567 --> 01:38:28,591 That I pay for? 1843 01:38:28,668 --> 01:38:30,135 Why would I want to watch my kids play Little League? 1844 01:38:30,637 --> 01:38:33,128 Why the fuck would I want to sleep in the same bed as my wife? 1845 01:38:33,206 --> 01:38:35,140 Why the fuck would I wanna do that? 1846 01:38:35,808 --> 01:38:36,797 (SIGHS) 1847 01:38:59,933 --> 01:39:01,161 (SIGHS) 1848 01:39:06,139 --> 01:39:07,231 JAMIE: Okay, so... MAGGIE: Okay, so... 1849 01:39:07,307 --> 01:39:09,241 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1850 01:39:09,842 --> 01:39:12,310 - What's... - Talk? 1851 01:39:12,378 --> 01:39:13,572 - Yeah. - All right. 1852 01:39:14,347 --> 01:39:16,872 - Hi, there. Hi. I'm Maggie Murdock. - Hello! 1853 01:39:18,384 --> 01:39:21,842 I'm about to have delicious reprobate sex with... 1854 01:39:21,921 --> 01:39:23,320 (JAMIE SNICKERING) 1855 01:39:23,389 --> 01:39:24,378 (WHISPERS) What's your name? 1856 01:39:24,457 --> 01:39:25,685 JAMIE: Oh, come on. 1857 01:39:25,758 --> 01:39:28,750 Oh, right, right. Jamie something. 1858 01:39:28,828 --> 01:39:33,731 And we're taping it so that he can always remember how totally hot I am. 1859 01:39:33,967 --> 01:39:35,161 Was. 1860 01:39:35,234 --> 01:39:37,532 Kids, if you're watching this, 1861 01:39:37,603 --> 01:39:39,969 you put it back in Mommy's secret hiding spot right now 1862 01:39:40,039 --> 01:39:42,906 or you will be sorry. There will be consequences! 1863 01:39:44,811 --> 01:39:46,142 JAMIE: What else? 1864 01:39:46,946 --> 01:39:48,072 Um... 1865 01:39:51,417 --> 01:39:53,408 Just how happy I am, 1866 01:39:54,587 --> 01:39:56,612 in this moment, right now. 1867 01:39:59,092 --> 01:40:01,560 The way the light's hitting that face of yours. 1868 01:40:03,363 --> 01:40:06,457 There's this little breeze coming in through the window. 1869 01:40:08,101 --> 01:40:12,765 It doesn't matter if I have 10,000 more moments like this, or 1870 01:40:14,707 --> 01:40:16,834 just this one, because 1871 01:40:19,946 --> 01:40:21,436 it's all the same. 1872 01:40:23,983 --> 01:40:26,178 Yeah. Just that. 1873 01:40:28,321 --> 01:40:30,380 Right now, this moment. 1874 01:40:35,395 --> 01:40:37,056 I have this. 1875 01:40:40,733 --> 01:40:42,428 (ENGINE REVVING) 1876 01:40:50,743 --> 01:40:51,869 No. Damn it! 1877 01:40:52,645 --> 01:40:54,272 Richard! Richard! 1878 01:40:54,614 --> 01:40:56,138 Where is she? 1879 01:40:58,451 --> 01:41:00,180 (JACK-ASS PLAYING) 1880 01:41:07,393 --> 01:41:08,826 (ENGINE REVVING) 1881 01:41:14,267 --> 01:41:21,230 I been drifting along in the same stale shoes 1882 01:41:22,975 --> 01:41:28,572 Loose ends tying the noose in the back of my mind 1883 01:41:28,648 --> 01:41:30,206 Come on! Come on. 1884 01:41:32,218 --> 01:41:33,242 Hey! 1885 01:41:33,619 --> 01:41:34,745 Hey! 1886 01:41:35,121 --> 01:41:36,452 (HONKING) 1887 01:41:36,522 --> 01:41:39,719 To where the puzzles and pagans lay 1888 01:41:41,094 --> 01:41:42,459 Maggie! 1889 01:41:43,729 --> 01:41:46,163 - (CONTINUES HONKING) - Hey! Mag! 1890 01:41:50,236 --> 01:41:51,225 (INAUDIBLE) Jamie? 1891 01:41:51,637 --> 01:41:52,626 (INAUDIBLE) Pull over. 1892 01:41:52,872 --> 01:41:54,703 (INAUDIBLE) No, I can't "pull over"! 1893 01:41:55,041 --> 01:41:56,702 (INAUDIBLE) Just for a second! Pull over! 1894 01:41:59,912 --> 01:42:03,348 (ENUNCIATING) I need to talk 1895 01:42:03,649 --> 01:42:04,673 (INAUDIBLE) to you. 1896 01:42:05,551 --> 01:42:08,748 (INAUDIBLE) I don't want to talk to you. 1897 01:42:08,821 --> 01:42:15,283 When I wake up someone will sweep up my lazy bones 1898 01:42:16,796 --> 01:42:23,292 And we will rise in the cool of the evening 1899 01:42:25,138 --> 01:42:26,901 Wait, wait. Okay. 1900 01:42:28,241 --> 01:42:30,505 Open the door. (GROANS) Okay. 1901 01:42:31,210 --> 01:42:32,575 (PANTING) 1902 01:42:37,683 --> 01:42:38,843 Sorry. 1903 01:42:41,754 --> 01:42:43,449 - I need you. - Please go away. 1904 01:42:43,823 --> 01:42:45,814 I drove a really long way to say that. 1905 01:42:45,892 --> 01:42:47,052 What? Am I supposed to be impressed? 1906 01:42:47,693 --> 01:42:48,717 (WHISPERS) I don't know. Yes. 1907 01:42:50,763 --> 01:42:53,732 Look, can you just get off the bus so we can talk for a second? 1908 01:42:53,966 --> 01:42:56,662 - Just for a second. - We're on a schedule. 1909 01:42:57,303 --> 01:42:58,964 Five minutes. Please. 1910 01:43:00,106 --> 01:43:02,597 You guys don't mind if we take five minutes, do you? 1911 01:43:02,675 --> 01:43:04,199 He's handsome. 1912 01:43:05,278 --> 01:43:06,609 - Five minutes. - He is. 1913 01:43:07,180 --> 01:43:08,340 Five minutes, then I'll let you go. 1914 01:43:08,548 --> 01:43:09,845 (SIGHS) 1915 01:43:18,724 --> 01:43:20,885 I'm full of shit, okay? 1916 01:43:23,129 --> 01:43:27,088 No, I'm knowingly full of shit. 1917 01:43:30,136 --> 01:43:31,467 Because... 1918 01:43:32,638 --> 01:43:34,003 Because... 1919 01:43:36,442 --> 01:43:37,602 I have... 1920 01:43:38,110 --> 01:43:42,945 I have never cared about anybody, or anything, in my entire life. 1921 01:43:43,416 --> 01:43:45,850 And the thing is, everybody just kind of accepted that. 1922 01:43:45,918 --> 01:43:47,943 Like, "That's just Jamie! " 1923 01:43:51,324 --> 01:43:52,814 And then you... 1924 01:43:56,062 --> 01:43:57,393 Jesus. 1925 01:43:58,097 --> 01:43:59,257 You. 1926 01:44:03,002 --> 01:44:05,027 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 1927 01:44:05,104 --> 01:44:06,264 You. 1928 01:44:10,943 --> 01:44:12,205 You didn't see me that way. 1929 01:44:15,715 --> 01:44:17,842 I have never known anyone 1930 01:44:19,518 --> 01:44:23,511 who actually believed that I was enough. 1931 01:44:26,025 --> 01:44:27,322 Until I met you. 1932 01:44:35,368 --> 01:44:37,734 And then you made me believe it, too. 1933 01:44:40,706 --> 01:44:43,675 So, unfortunately, 1934 01:44:45,544 --> 01:44:47,034 I need you. 1935 01:44:47,880 --> 01:44:49,541 And you need me. 1936 01:44:51,484 --> 01:44:52,644 No, I don't. 1937 01:44:53,552 --> 01:44:55,076 - Yes, you do. - No, I don't. 1938 01:44:55,154 --> 01:44:56,178 Yes, you do. 1939 01:44:56,555 --> 01:44:57,749 Stop it. Stop saying that. 1940 01:44:58,591 --> 01:45:00,582 - You need someone to take care of you. - No, I don't. 1941 01:45:00,860 --> 01:45:02,452 Everybody does. 1942 01:45:10,703 --> 01:45:12,762 (SOBBING) I'm going to need you more than you need me. 1943 01:45:15,141 --> 01:45:17,405 - That's okay. - No, it's not! 1944 01:45:18,411 --> 01:45:20,038 It isn't fair. 1945 01:45:22,581 --> 01:45:24,378 I have places to go. 1946 01:45:25,618 --> 01:45:26,607 You'll go there. 1947 01:45:28,587 --> 01:45:30,145 I just may have to carry you. 1948 01:45:37,263 --> 01:45:40,130 I can't ask you to do that. 1949 01:45:42,101 --> 01:45:43,261 You didn't. 1950 01:45:49,909 --> 01:45:51,001 Hey, 1951 01:45:52,178 --> 01:45:54,840 let's just say in some 1952 01:45:55,881 --> 01:45:59,248 alternate universe, there's a couple that's just like us, okay? 1953 01:45:59,318 --> 01:46:02,719 Only she's healthy and he's perfect. 1954 01:46:03,456 --> 01:46:07,449 And their world is about how much money that they're gonna spend on vacation, 1955 01:46:07,526 --> 01:46:09,790 or who's in a bad mood that day, 1956 01:46:09,862 --> 01:46:12,490 or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady. 1957 01:46:12,565 --> 01:46:13,793 (LAUGHS) 1958 01:46:15,968 --> 01:46:17,128 I don't want to be those people. 1959 01:46:18,771 --> 01:46:20,261 I want us. 1960 01:46:23,309 --> 01:46:24,469 You. 1961 01:46:26,712 --> 01:46:27,872 This. 1962 01:46:44,663 --> 01:46:47,393 JAMIE: I used to worry a lot about who I'd be when I grew up. 1963 01:46:50,002 --> 01:46:52,994 You know, like how much money I'd make or... 1964 01:46:54,140 --> 01:46:56,074 Someday I'd become some big deal. 1965 01:46:59,078 --> 01:47:01,945 Sometimes the thing you most want doesn't happen. 1966 01:47:03,249 --> 01:47:07,913 And sometimes the thing you never expect to happen, does. 1967 01:47:09,155 --> 01:47:12,989 Like giving up my job in Chicago and everything, 1968 01:47:13,993 --> 01:47:17,520 and deciding to stay and apply to med school. 1969 01:47:19,031 --> 01:47:20,521 I don't know. 1970 01:47:20,933 --> 01:47:23,094 You meet thousands of people, 1971 01:47:24,103 --> 01:47:26,435 and none of them really touch you. 1972 01:47:28,707 --> 01:47:31,198 And then you meet one person, 1973 01:47:32,211 --> 01:47:35,874 and your life is changed forever. 1974 01:47:35,948 --> 01:47:37,643 (FIDELITY PLAYING) 1975 01:47:39,185 --> 01:47:42,712 Suppose I never ever saw you 1976 01:47:44,623 --> 01:47:47,387 Suppose we never ever called 1977 01:47:49,528 --> 01:47:53,294 Suppose I kept on singing love songs 1978 01:47:53,365 --> 01:47:57,961 Just to break my own fall 1979 01:47:58,037 --> 01:48:02,303 Just to break my fall 1980 01:48:03,275 --> 01:48:08,110 Just to break my fall 1981 01:48:08,481 --> 01:48:13,043 Just to break my fall 1982 01:48:13,953 --> 01:48:18,447 Break my fall Break my fall 1983 01:48:19,825 --> 01:48:23,659 All my friends say that of course it's gonna get better 1984 01:48:23,729 --> 01:48:24,889 Gonna get better 1985 01:48:24,964 --> 01:48:31,460 Better, better, better, better Better, better, better! 1986 01:48:31,537 --> 01:48:34,836 I never love nobody fully 1987 01:48:37,276 --> 01:48:40,245 Always one foot on the ground 1988 01:48:42,381 --> 01:48:46,374 And by protecting my heart truly 1989 01:48:46,452 --> 01:48:51,048 I got lost in the sounds 1990 01:48:51,123 --> 01:48:56,288 I hear in my mind all of these voices 1991 01:48:56,362 --> 01:49:01,493 I hear in my mind all of these words 1992 01:49:01,567 --> 01:49:06,664 I hear in my mind all of this music 1993 01:49:06,739 --> 01:49:11,472 And it breaks my heart And it breaks my heart 1994 01:49:11,777 --> 01:49:16,680 I hear in my mind all of these voices 1995 01:49:16,749 --> 01:49:21,914 I hear in my mind all of these words 1996 01:49:21,987 --> 01:49:27,357 I hear in my mind all of this music 1997 01:49:27,426 --> 01:49:31,624 And it breaks my heart And it breaks my heart 1998 01:49:32,431 --> 01:49:36,731 It breaks my heart 1999 01:49:37,603 --> 01:49:41,937 When it breaks my heart 2000 01:49:42,975 --> 01:49:47,036 When it breaks my heart 2001 01:49:48,013 --> 01:49:50,413 When it breaks my heart 2002 01:49:50,482 --> 01:49:52,973 Breaks my heart 2003 01:49:53,052 --> 01:49:55,179 When it breaks my heart 2004 01:49:55,588 --> 01:49:58,113 When it breaks my heart 2005 01:49:58,190 --> 01:50:00,818 When it breaks my heart 2006 01:50:00,893 --> 01:50:03,453 When it breaks my heart