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蝙蝠电脑存储的秘密档案
蝙蝠侠的最佳案件
主演
彩
虹
蝙蝠侠
彩
色
版
可是, 蝙蝠侠, 昨晚你穿了绿色的蝙蝠装
But, Batman, last night you wore the green costume.
今晚你又穿红色的
And tonight you're wearing the red.
为什么?
Why?
这是必须的, 罗宾
I must, Robin.
我必须每晚都穿着不同颜色的蝙蝠装
I must wear a different-colored Batman costume each night.
( 重要保险库 )
人赃俱获, 萤火虫
We've caught you red-handed, Firefly.
你不投降的话就会被打得浑身青紫
But you'll be black-and-blue if you don't give yourself up.
蝙蝠侠, 着装颜色太乏味了
Batman. Color me unimpressed.
你的红色棱镜射线对相同颜色的物体无效
Your red prisma ray is useless against objects of the same color.
这场彩虹闹剧就此结束了, 萤火虫
This rainbow rampage is over, Firefly.
聪明的策略
A clever ploy,
通过每天晚上更换制服来使我的武器无效, 蝙蝠侠
changing your costume each night to neutralize my weapons, Batman.
但是你忘了, 我是有一千种色光的男人!
But you forget, I'm the man of a thousand lights.
圣那不勒斯的冰淇淋啊! 那是什么玩意儿?
Holy Neapolitan ice cream! What is that?
活力二人组, 来认识一下彩虹怪物!
Dynamic Duo, meet the Rainbow Creature.
每种颜色都有独属于它自己的特殊力量
Each color has its own strange power.
你打不过我的宠物, 披风斗士
You're no match for my pet, Caped Crusader.
好消息就是, 我在我的制服上做了另一个小改动
Then it's a good thing I've made another alteration to my costume.
无论你口袋里装着什么, 小子
Whatever you've got in your pocket, pal.
让它留在原处吧
That's where it stays.
幸运的是, 这影响只是暂时的
Fortunately, the effect was only temporary.
但萤火虫将要面临的监禁会是永久的
But Firefly's going up the river permanently.
皇帝小丑!
翻译 无怖 仇思 时间轴 元素 校对 dxsing 偷偷懒 片头 偷偷懒 后期 偷偷懒
看看这些钻石
Just look at all that ice.
你敢碰一下, 就等着在黑门监狱被关上十年
Touch it and you'll be looking at 10 years in Blackgate Prison.
我一直渴望得到一些回报, 蝙蝠侠
I've been itching for some payback, Batman.
十眼人? 酷!
The Ten-Eyed Man? Cool.
你听到什么了吗?
Did you hear that?
很不幸, 是的
Unfortunately.
小心, 蝙蝠侠
Be careful, Batman.
根据《谁是谁》杂志介绍, 十眼人, 又名菲利普·雷顿
According to Who's Who, the Ten-Eyed Man, a.k.a. Philip Reardon...
曾是特种部队的士兵
...was a soldier in the Special Forces.
我以为我们约定好了, 蝙蝠螨
I thought we had a deal, Bat-Mite.
我打击犯罪, 你回你自己的维度去
I do the crime-fighting, you go back to your home dimension.
"他在战斗中负伤…
"He was wounded in battle...
退役回家后找了份保安工作
...and took a job back home as a security guard.
一天晚上, 窃贼放倒了他并且在他身上装了炸弹
One night, thieves knocked him out and planted a bomb.
当蝙蝠侠到达阻止那些窃贼的时候
When Batman arrived to stop them...
雷顿误认为他和那些人是一伙的, 和他打了起来
...Reardon mistook him for one of the robbers and they fought.
炸弹爆炸了, 雷顿受伤失明
The bomb exploded, blinding Reardon...
但是一位外科医生把他的视神经连接到了他的指尖上
...but a surgeon attached his optic nerves to his fingertips...
雷顿由此成为十眼人"
...and Reardon became the Ten-Eyed Man."
真奇怪
Weird.
走开, 小屁孩
Beat it, kid.
真正的粉丝会不吝向你的流氓画廊里那些默默无闻的恶棍们致敬
True fans appreciate a nod to the more obscure villains from your Rogues Gallery.
那是你伟大演出的一部分
That's one of the great things about your show.
啊, 腰带网!
Ah! Belt net!
这不是给你消遣的表演, 蝙蝠螨, 这是现实
This isn't a show for your amusement, Bat-Mite. This is reality.
对你也许是现实, 我喜欢你严肃的对待方式
To you 3Ds, maybe. I love how you take it so seriously.
这个
Here.
十眼人, 接住
Ten-Eye, catch.
什么?
What?
我的眼睛, 我的眼睛!
My eyes! My eyes!
别误会, 这是场很酷的战斗
Don't get me wrong. That was a cool fight and all...
不过它确实只是三流的水平
...but it was strictly C-list.
我不享受乐趣, 每个罪犯都应该受到正义制裁
I don't play favorites. Every criminal must be brought to justice.
但是衡量一个英雄的能力应该看他的对手
But a hero is measured by the strength of his adversary...
你值得比十眼人更好的
...and you're way better than Ten-Eye.
我回来的唯一原因仅仅是我想看到一场最终对决
The whole reason I've come back is I wanna see the ultimate face-off.
你对我的迷恋太过头了, 蝙蝠螨, 这有些病态
Your obsession with me is flattering, Bat-Mite, but it's not healthy.
也许我确实对你纠缠不休, 但是你也纠缠着其他人
I may be obsessed with you, but you're obsessed with someone too.
这是哪里
What is this place?
我的圣地, 为了所有英雄人物之间最棒的对抗!
My shrine to the greatest rivalry in all of herodom.
蝙蝠侠 vs 小丑
Batman versus the Joker.
和小丑对抗并不是什么令人着迷的事情
There's nothing glamorous about fighting the Joker.
你在开玩笑吗? 这是善对恶, 秩序对混乱
Are you kidding? It's good versus evil. Order versus chaos.
无可阻挡的力量对不可动摇的人物
The unstoppable force versus the immovable object.
没有比这更波澜壮阔的对抗了
No clash is more epic.
不信你看
Just look.
记得小丑做了自己的万能腰带的那次吗
Remember when the Joker made his own utility belt?
"小丑鱼"
"The Laughing Fish."
没有比这更好的了
They don't get much better than that.
"家庭之死"传奇
The "Death in the Family" saga.
在那里, 粉丝要投票选择杰森·陶德的结局
On that one, the fans got to choose what happened to Jason Todd.
猜猜我投了什么
Guess how I voted.
在建工程
我把这里留给你下一场战斗
I'm saving this one for your next battle...
我知道这一场将成为有史以来最棒的战斗
...which I just know will be the best one ever.
没有下一场战斗
There isn't going to be a next battle.
小丑现在被关在阿卡姆疯人院
The Joker is locked up in Arkham Asylum.
他可以逃出来, 小丑总能逃出来
He could escape. The Joker always escapes.
这次不行, 我亲自设计了他的私人监牢
Not this time. I designed his cell personally.
小丑刚刚从阿卡姆疯人院逃出来了
The Joker just escaped from Arkham Asylum.
多么惊人的巧合
What an incredible coincidence.
棒极了
Awesome-sauce.
也许我该把这留给警察解决
Maybe we should leave this to the police.
我觉得你不可信任
I don't think I can trust you in there.
但是你要和小丑对抗!
But you have to fight him.
那么向我承诺不使用你的力量
Then promise me you won't use your powers.
它会乖乖待在枪套里
It stays in the holster.
卓别林的手杖, 科瓦奇的雪茄
Chaplin's cane. Kovacs' cigar.
丑角的苏打水瓶子
The Stooges' seltzer bottle.
我选择困难了, 那我就全都偷走吧
I can't choose. Let's just steal everything.
我希望你享受你这短暂的自由
I hope you enjoyed your brief taste of freedom...
因为我要送你回阿卡姆了, 你这白脸丑角
...because I'm sending you back to Arkham, you pale-faced Pagliacci.
蝙蝠侠, 欢迎来到派对
Batman, welcome to the party.
灭了他
Destroy him.
这就是我做梦都想看到的
It's everything I dreamt it would be.
那 是 谁?
Who is that?
你不会打一个被恶魔般的
You wouldn't hit an innocent girl...
犯罪策划者引入歧途的无辜女孩儿吧?
...lured astray by a fiendish criminal mastermind, would you?
哈哈, 笨蛋
Ha, ha. Sucker.
快看他们
Just look at them go.
他们互相激发出了对方最棒的一面, 不是吗?
They really bring out the best in each other, don't they?
你支持谁?
Who are you supposed to be?
我站蝙蝠侠那边
I'm with Batman.
你的名字是...?
And you are?
哈莉·奎茵
Harley Quinn.
多美的名字
Such a pretty name.
这只手是你应得的
You deserve a hand.
别担心, 蝙蝠侠, 我来救你了
Don't worry, Batman. I'll save you.
不用力量, 你承诺过的
No powers. You promised.
你不能使用你的力量
You can't use your powers.
但是蝙蝠侠没说你不能把这力量给他
But Batman didn't say you couldn't give them to him.
他发现了重点所在
He's got a point.
我不知道发生了什么
I don't know what just happened...
但我喜欢!
...but I like it!
我好兴奋
I'm so tingly.
就像一轮电击疗程后愉悦的放松一样
Like after a nice relaxing round of shock therapy.
我想要一百万美元
Oh, I feel like a million bucks.
现在一切变得有趣起来了
Now, this is interesting.
我专属的不义之锤
My very own Hammer for Injustice.
不不不
No, no, no.
这是个大误会
This is a big mistake.
看看这, 有人给一只猪穿上了蝙蝠装
Look at this. Someone put a pig in a bat-suit.
我是蝙蝠螨, 那些力量是属于我的
I'm Bat-Mite and those powers belong to me.
马上把它还给我
Give them back now.
抱歉, 我想我要留着它
Sorry, I think I'll hold on to them.
但我真的应该给你一点回报
But I really should give you something in return.
哦不
Oh, no.
你的专属小丑
Your very own me.
离我远点!
Leave me alone!
蝙蝠侠, 救命!
Batman, help!
你无路可逃了, 蠢货
Nowhere to run, chump.
我会在你那张蠢脸上画个完美的笑容
I'm gonna put a pretty smile on that stupid face of yours.
我才不怕你, 你个变态
I'm not scared of you, you creep.
不
No!
快停下, 好痒
Stop. It tickles.
够了, 小丑
That's enough, Joker.
我不允许你那扭曲的思想进一步地改变现实
I won't allow your twisted mind to warp reality any further.
直白的说, 老朋友, 你阻止不了我
Frankly, old chum, there's nothing you can do to stop me.
你看, 我不再是你熟悉而喜爱的小丑了
You see, I'm no longer the Joker you know and love.
我是世界之王!
I'm the king of the world!
你知道的, 蝙蝠仔, 我一直在想
You know, Batsy, I've been thinking.
在我们的关系里有一件错事
There's only one thing wrong with our relationship.
你总是赢家
You always win.
今天, 一切都将改变
Tonight, that changes.
你还没有打败我, 小丑
You haven't beaten me yet, Joker.
我知道, 杀死你不是很令人期待吗?
I know. Isn't the anticipation just killing you?
你不打算脱下他的面具看看他是谁吗?
Ain't you gonna take his mask off and find out who he is?
让我的宿敌降格成为一个普通人?
And reduce my primal enemy to a mere man?
亲爱的哈莉, 我真对你失望
Harley, my dear, I'm so disappointed in you.
那还有什么乐趣?
Where's the fun in that?
你能一直当个伪君子
You can be a goody two-shoes
直到嗝屁那日
Till the end of your days
你能听从他们说 罪不可释
You can listen to them say "Crime never pays"
你能遵守法律 怕只大黑蝠
You can follow every law. And fear the big black bat
但何苦循规蹈矩? 何来有趣之处?
But why would you want to? Huh? Where's the fun in that?
何来有趣之处?
Where's the fun in that?
所以笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
So smile, darn you, smile
每一个人都爱笑
Everybody loves to grin
听我指挥 诵我教规
Follow my lead Recite my creed
然后笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
And smile, darn you, smile
别听信那些傻瓜说 生活无聊
Don't listen to the dullards Say that life is a bore
就是那些混蛋毁了我乐子
Those fuddy-duddies spoil all my fun
于是从此我努力根除忧郁
That's why I strive to eradicate gloom
因为那不安 我做了些改变
It's from that itch I made the switch
代号也用心取
And chose my nom de plume
叫小丑
The Joker
这才搞笑点
There's the fun in that
这才搞笑点
There's the fun in that
所以笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
So smile, darn you, smile
每一个人都该笑
Everybody ought to laugh
伴随欢欣 颁布法令
And so with glee I do decree
就笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
Just smile, darn you, smile
所以当你发现生活苦 越来越难应付
So when living gets a little rough And you find it hard to cope
我是不求回报的贵族 只愿你心怀抱负
I'm the gent with just the stuff To fill you full of hope
就笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
Just smile, darn you, smile
每一个人都需小丑
Everybody needs a clown
伴随着钟声 最后的趣闻
Now with one stroke The final joke
就笑吧 傻瓜
Just smile, darn you
笑吧 傻瓜 笑吧
Smile, darn you, smile
每一个人都爱笑
Everybody loves to grin
听我指挥 诵我教规
Follow my lead Recite my creed
然后笑吧
And smile
傻瓜 笑吧
Darn you, smile
我喜欢这个
I love it.
现在, 女士们先生们, 我为你们献上蝙蝠侠之死
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the death of Batman.
快啊, 蝙蝠侠, 你可以逃脱的
Come on, Batman. You can get out.
他成功了, 他逃脱了
He got out. He got out.
不错的尝试, 小丑, 啊!
Nice try, Joker. Aah!
我不敢相信, 他...
I can't believe it. He's...
他真的死了
He's actually gone.
让我们花点时间为一个逝去的男人默哀
Let's take a moment to reflect on the passing of a man...
他不仅是一个穿着紧身衣的行善者
...who was more than just another do-gooder in tights.
他是一个反社会的人能够拥有的最好的劲敌
He was the best arch-nemesis a sociopath could ask for.
好了, 让我们再来一次
Okay, let's do it again.
蝙蝠侠, 他复活了
Batman. He's alive.
但不会很久
But not for long.
老大, 我们要对这个黑驴骑士做点什么
Boss, what should we do with the Dork Knight?
对这个小家伙宽容点, 好吗, 小丑先生?
Go easy on the little guy, will you, Mr. Joker?
我觉得他挺可爱的
I think he's kind of cute.
嗯, 好吧
Hmm, as you wish.
每个国王都需要一个宫廷小丑
Every king needs a court jester.
对不起, 蝙蝠侠, 没了超能力我一无是处
I'm sorry, Batman. Without my powers, I'm worthless.
真正的英雄在于他的心
The true measure of a hero is his heart,
而不是力量
not power.
再来一次
One more time.
唉, 只要蝙蝠侠在周围, 小丑先生就只看着他了
Ah. Whenever Batman's around, that's all Mr. Joker cares about.
好像其他人都不存在了
It's like no one else exists.
哦, 我知道你的感觉
Oh, I know how you feel.
蝙蝠侠和其他恶棍战斗, 但是他想的也只有小丑
Batman fights other crooks, but all he thinks about is the Joker.
也许没有他我过得更好
Maybe I'm better off without him.
我再也忍受不了了, 小丑, 让我从痛苦里解脱吧
I can't take it anymore, Joker. Put me out of my misery.
你没有什么能对我做的了
There's nothing more you can do to me...
除了夺走我的心智
...except take away my sanity.
心智?
Sanity?
你是指让你陷入疯狂, 就像你的本性那样?
You mean make you fall into madness like yours truly?
那听起来很有趣
Now, that sounds like fun!
我要爬进你的大脑, 松一松螺丝
I'm gonna climb inside your noodle and loosen a few screws.
不, 你不能这样做, 心智是我唯一剩下的东西了
No, you can't. Sanity is all I have left.
失去心智是可怕的事情
A mind is a terrible thing to lose.
我干完你之后, 你会成为留着口水又毫无神智的呆子
You're going to be a drooling, mindless fop when I'm done.
然后我再杀了你
And then I'm gonna kill you some more.
抱歉打断你, 我的抱抱小可爱, 但是我在想...
Sorry to interrupt, my little huggle-buggy, but I was just thinking...
你第一个错误
Your first mistake.
你确定进去是一个好主意?
Are you sure going in there is a good idea?
你知道什么, 你话太多了
You know what? You talk too much.
我的声音!
我进去之后, 你们都听小丑螨的
While I'm gone, Joker-Mite's in charge.
为您效劳, 老大
Got you covered, boss.
让我们来找点乐子
Let's have some fun, shall we?
毛骨悚然
Creepy.
你离堕落不远了
You may not have far to fall.
你这是非法入侵, 小丑
You're trespassing, Joker.
试试来阻止我啊, 尖耳怪物
Try and stop me, old pointy-ears.
那么多美妙的痛苦记忆等着我去掠夺
So many wonderful painful memories to plunder.
哦, 这看起来很不错
this looks promising.
这一定会是美妙有趣的一段记忆
Must be a nice juicy one.
这是关于爹地妈咪从没爱过你的吗?
Is it about how Mommy and Daddy never loved you?
你不可能永远阻止我
You can't keep me out forever!
我在想, 男孩们
I was thinking, boys.
如果我终结了蝙蝠侠, 小丑也会和他一起逝去
If we offed Batman, the Joker would go with him.
我们就能掌握大局
And we'd be in charge.
哦, 不
快, 说点别的
Quick, say something else.
但是小丑让我静默了
抓住他们, 男孩儿们
Get them, boys.
我的英雄!
说晚安吧
略略略~
我们能帮上忙吗?
我们什么也做不了, 现在是意志和魔力的对决
There's nothing we can do. It's mind versus magic now.
你的怪念头在哪儿, 蝙蝠侠?
Where's the whimsy, Batman?
一个有条理的意志是受过训练的意志, 小丑
An organized mind is a disciplined mind, Joker.
而一个受过训练的意志, 是强大的意志
And a disciplined mind is a powerful mind.
等等, 发生了什么?
Wait. What's happening?
现在是我的主场
You're on my turf now.
这是哪儿?
What is this place?
是你最糟的梦魇
It's your worst nightmare.
一个蝙蝠侠不存在的世界
A world where Batman doesn't exist.
没有蝙蝠侠, 警察徒劳奔波
Without Batman, the police are overwhelmed.
罪犯猖獗
Crime is rampant.
合我口味
My kind of town.
但是这里没有能够与你匹敌的力量, 没有能够堕落的善的象征
But you have no one to match wits with, no symbol of goodness to corrupt.
没有蝙蝠侠, 也就没有小丑
Without Batman, there can be no Joker.
没有松动的螺丝, 没有丢失的弹珠, 你的钟楼里也没有蝙蝠
No loose screws. No lost marbles. No bats in your belfry.
在这个世界, 你完全的心智健全
In this world, you're perfectly sane.
不, 快停下, 让我离开这, 我命令你
No! Make it stop. Let me out of here, I command you.
你在这里没有力量
You have no power here.
我会放弃它
I'll give it all up.
求你了, 只要你让我做回我自己
Please, just let me go back to being me.
我, 我不要当一个正常人
I ca... I can't be average.
小丑先生!
Mr. Joker!
嘿, 我能说话了
Hey, I can talk.
我的力量
My powers.
蝙蝠螨, 你能恢复小丑搞出来的烂摊子吗
Bat-Mite, can you undo the mess Joker made?
当然, 蝙蝠侠, 毫不费力
Sure, Batman. No sweat.
小丑在那里看见了什么
What did the Joker see in there?
只是一点我想让他看见的
Only what I wanted him to.
所以, 嗯, 哈莉, 你想和我出去玩吗
So, uh, Harley, you wanna maybe hang out or something?
抱歉, 孩子, 我是专一的女孩
Sorry, kid, but I'm a one guy type of gal.
对不对呀, 抱抱小甜心?
Isn't that right, huggle-buggy?
别难过, 老伙计
Don't take it so hard, old chum.
再说, 你现在是一个正式的犯罪斗士了, 你还有了你的专属宿敌
Besides, you're an official crime-fighter now that you have your own arch-nemesis.
你说得对, 谢了, 蝙蝠侠
Hey, you're right. Thanks, Batman.
你想去五维世界吗?
How'd you like to go to the 5th dimension?
不, 我...
No, l...
很好, 我们会有很多乐子的
Cool. We're gonna have so much fun.
到此结束啦, 朋友们
That's all, folks.