We are SC We are [SC]. We are [SC]. We are [SC]. Thank you. Thank you.
It is such an honor to deliver this year's commencement address
to the University of Southern California's graduating class of 2017.
I would like to say thank you, graduates, for that warm welcome.
I would also like to apologize to all the parents who are sitting there, saying,
Will Ferrell? Why Will Ferrell? I hate Will Ferrell. I hate him. I hate his movies. He's gross.
Although he's much better-looking in person. Has he lost weight?
By the way, that discussion is happening out there right now.
Today I have also received an honorary doctorate,
for which I would like to give my thanks to President Max Nikias.
I would also like to recognize my esteemed fellow honorary doctorates,
Suzanne Dworak Peck, a great humanitarian and visionary in the field of social work.
Dr. Gary Michelson, whose innovation as one of the country's leading orthopedic
spinal surgeons has revolutionized this field.
Mark Ridley Thomas, a pillar of local and state government for over 25 years.
David Ho whose work in AIDS research led him to be
TIME Magazine's Man of the Year for 1996.
And one of the great actors of our time,
Academy-Award winning actress Dame Helen Mirren.
And then there's me. Will Ferrell,
whose achievements include running naked through the city of Montrose in Old School.
Montrose in the house, alright.
Running around in my underwear and racing helmet,
thinking that I'm on fire as Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights.
Running around in Elf tights eating gum off the ground and playing cowbell.
I think my fellow doctorates would agree
based on our achievements we are all on equal footing.
I want the university to know that I do not take this prestigious honor lightly.
I've already instructed my wife and my children,
from this point on, they have to address me as Dr. Ferrell.
There will be no exceptions.
Especially at our children's various school functions and when opening Christmas presents.
"Yay, we got the new Xbox, thank you Dad! I mean, Dr. Ferrell."
I've been informed that I can now perform minimally invasive surgery
at any time or any place, even if people don't want it.
In fact, I am legally obligated to perform minor surgery at the end of today's ceremonies,
or my doctor's degree will be revoked.
So if anyone has a sore tooth that needs to be removed or wants hernia surgery,
please meet me at the "surgery center"
-by"surgery center"I mean a windowless van I have parked over by the Coliseum.