1 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,769 I have a new alter alter ego: 2 00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,841 - Kevin Bacon. - He wants to play Super Ray? 3 00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:07,346 I'm gonna need to get close to you... 4 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,421 maybe move in, wear your clothes. 5 00:00:09,455 --> 00:00:10,391 He assaulted me! 6 00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:11,997 That's not cool, bro. Oh! 7 00:00:12,032 --> 00:00:15,266 - The board in Dallas wants to cut your column. - Oh no. 8 00:00:15,301 --> 00:00:19,009 - Are you a vulcan or an elf? - Please. No, I'm an elf. 9 00:00:19,044 --> 00:00:22,453 The best course of action will be to remove all or part of the prostate. 10 00:00:22,487 --> 00:00:24,556 I'm going to look after you as best I can. 11 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,095 I want you to follow my husband. 12 00:00:26,129 --> 00:00:28,267 Throw your wallets and jewelry to the center of the floor! 13 00:00:28,302 --> 00:00:31,169 I need a driver. Just give me the gun. 14 00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:34,541 - Let's go! - I love this orange color! 15 00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:44,542 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 16 00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:49,506 ♪ All the shadows in the city ♪ 17 00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:53,180 ♪ used to love you, what a pity ♪ 18 00:00:53,215 --> 00:00:57,254 ♪ I miss the questions you used to ask me ♪ 19 00:00:57,289 --> 00:01:01,363 ♪ bored to death, cut, mad and lonely ♪ 20 00:01:01,397 --> 00:01:05,237 ♪ bored to death, cut, mad and lonely... ♪ 21 00:01:05,271 --> 00:01:07,373 - ( coughs ) - ♪ Bored to death ♪ 22 00:01:07,408 --> 00:01:09,877 ♪ cut, mad and lonely. ♪ 23 00:01:11,582 --> 00:01:13,085 ( whistle blows ) 24 00:01:29,848 --> 00:01:31,951 ( Sighs ) 25 00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:49,211 "To save himself and the blonde, 26 00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:52,583 Harry slapped the large bag of cocaine into the air. 27 00:01:52,617 --> 00:01:54,586 Then Harry sent his fist, 28 00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,622 which was the size of a small dictionary, 29 00:01:56,656 --> 00:01:59,693 - into the drug dealer's throat. " - ( Phone rings ) 30 00:02:00,929 --> 00:02:03,198 - Ames here. - Jonathan, it's leah. 31 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,735 Oh hi, leah. 32 00:02:05,769 --> 00:02:07,571 I'm in your neighborhood. Could I come by? 33 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,641 There's something I need to talk to you about. 34 00:02:09,675 --> 00:02:11,643 Here? 35 00:02:11,678 --> 00:02:14,548 The place is very grey gardens at the moment. 36 00:02:14,582 --> 00:02:17,118 - I've been writing. - Oh, it doesn't matter. 37 00:02:17,152 --> 00:02:18,954 I'll be right over. 38 00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:21,591 How's Ray? 39 00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:23,894 He's, um... 40 00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:25,596 Making the best of it. 41 00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:34,608 - Let's take a break. - Okay. 42 00:02:38,415 --> 00:02:40,918 - ( Sighs ) - I want to take a picture. 43 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,288 Red hook is so weird and beautiful. 44 00:02:44,757 --> 00:02:46,726 Okay. 45 00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:49,764 ( Mimics Brando ) I could've been somebody. 46 00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,899 What? You are somebody. 47 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,868 You created Super Ray. 48 00:02:53,903 --> 00:02:55,337 No, it's marlon Brando. 49 00:02:55,372 --> 00:02:56,973 It's a little lesser known line. 50 00:02:57,007 --> 00:02:59,109 "On the waterfront" was set in red hook. 51 00:02:59,143 --> 00:03:01,078 Cool. I didn't know that. I like Brando. 52 00:03:01,112 --> 00:03:02,746 I wish he wasn't dead. 53 00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,916 Kiss? 54 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,258 - What are you doing now? - Oh, I'm tweeting our photo. 55 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,360 None of my friends believe I'm dating you. 56 00:03:13,395 --> 00:03:15,463 Tweeting? So cute. 57 00:03:15,497 --> 00:03:18,333 Yo, are those ears real? 58 00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:20,302 - Of course they are. - ( Both snicker ) 59 00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:23,106 - What, is it Christmas? - What's it to you, gaylord? 60 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:26,708 Yo, nothing, man. Elves are cool. 61 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,617 You are the sexiest guy I have ever met. 62 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,586 I know. 63 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,093 So here's a picture of little Ray. 64 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,462 We got him from a rescue shelter. 65 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,731 I'll need this for my investigation. 66 00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:55,833 Why'd you name him little Ray? 67 00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:58,634 The girls said that he and Ray have the same eyes. 68 00:03:58,669 --> 00:04:01,437 I guess I can see that... a certain sadness. 69 00:04:01,471 --> 00:04:04,106 So tell me again what happened from the beginning. 70 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:06,207 As a Detective I need all the details. 71 00:04:06,241 --> 00:04:09,175 Also I'm a little stoned. 72 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:12,078 Okay. So I tied him up outside the pharmacy 73 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:14,748 just for a second and when I came out he was gone. 74 00:04:14,783 --> 00:04:17,584 - Oh my God. - So when I got home the phone rings 75 00:04:17,619 --> 00:04:19,585 and this man says, "I have little Ray." 76 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,420 'Cause my number was on his dog collar. 77 00:04:21,454 --> 00:04:23,155 I was like, "oh my God, thank you." 78 00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:26,491 Then he says all cold, "how much for him?" 79 00:04:26,525 --> 00:04:28,159 Ransom for a dog. 80 00:04:28,193 --> 00:04:30,095 I know this world is insane, but still... 81 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:34,332 So I blurted out stupidly "40 bucks" 82 00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:36,767 and he hung up and he hasn't called back. 83 00:04:36,802 --> 00:04:39,836 The girls are heartbroken, crying every night. 84 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:42,172 It's okay. I'll find him. 85 00:04:42,206 --> 00:04:44,040 I don't want your girls to be upset. 86 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,409 They've already lost one Ray. 87 00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,144 They shouldn't lose two. 88 00:04:57,119 --> 00:04:58,786 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 89 00:04:58,821 --> 00:05:02,089 - I-I... I'm stoned and tipsy. - I'm also tipsy. 90 00:05:02,123 --> 00:05:05,558 Oh... Jonathan, I can't believe that almost happened. 91 00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:07,994 We only leaned. A lean means nothing. 92 00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:09,662 I do it naturally all the time. 93 00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,930 I have bad posture from depression. I just... 94 00:05:11,964 --> 00:05:14,098 you're right, you're right. It was only a lean. 95 00:05:14,132 --> 00:05:15,466 But you know, I should go. 96 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,701 - Oh, I feel guilty. - Me too, me too. 97 00:05:17,736 --> 00:05:21,271 But we were just projecting our love for Ray onto each other. 98 00:05:21,305 --> 00:05:25,173 Right. So you'll try to find little Ray? 99 00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,575 Of course. But, leah, 100 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,410 should we actually kiss 101 00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,478 so that our guilt doesn't go to waste? 102 00:05:31,513 --> 00:05:34,214 - I've always thought you were very beautiful. - Jonathan! 103 00:05:34,248 --> 00:05:36,216 - ( Phone ringing ) - It's Ray! 104 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,251 Do you think he knows? Is that... 105 00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:40,286 Jonathan, don't be paranoid. 106 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,688 Let's just pretend like nothing happened, 107 00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:45,624 which will be easy, because nothing did happen. 108 00:05:45,658 --> 00:05:48,192 Well, I'm sorry about the nothing that didn't happen 109 00:05:48,227 --> 00:05:51,362 and, leah, I will find little Ray for you. 110 00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:59,469 ( Music playing ) 111 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,341 - ♪ Ride ♪ - ♪ Ride ♪ 112 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:09,410 ♪ pour a drink in the frustrated cowboy. ♪ 113 00:06:09,445 --> 00:06:12,646 She's a nice kid, but it's just hard to be in public 114 00:06:12,681 --> 00:06:14,314 with a girl that's got elf ears. 115 00:06:14,349 --> 00:06:16,283 She lent me her huge bike, which is nice. 116 00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,851 Does she have other elf organs? 117 00:06:18,886 --> 00:06:20,653 No. That's what I thought. 118 00:06:20,687 --> 00:06:23,155 I thought she'd have fairy dust down there or something. 119 00:06:23,190 --> 00:06:25,390 Completely normal from the neck down. 120 00:06:26,392 --> 00:06:28,393 But I feel bad when I kiss her. 121 00:06:28,427 --> 00:06:30,695 All I do is think about leah 122 00:06:30,729 --> 00:06:33,430 and how her ears are regular. 123 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,533 I saw le today. 124 00:06:39,602 --> 00:06:42,337 What? Where? Did she say she misses me? 125 00:06:42,371 --> 00:06:44,372 Yeah, she misses you. 126 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:46,540 I saw her at my place. 127 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,442 - Why? - She needs my help as a Detective. 128 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,844 What does she want you to do? 129 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,279 She got the girls a dog, but it was stolen. 130 00:06:53,314 --> 00:06:55,114 The guy who took it had the audacity 131 00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,283 to ask for ransom, but she lowballed him. 132 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,118 She does have a secret cheap side. 133 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,786 The whole time we were together 134 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,054 not once did she raise my allowance. Go ahead. 135 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,924 Anyway, she lowballed him and he hung up the phone. 136 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,259 I guess he must have sold the dog or something, 137 00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:09,893 but leah wants me to try to find him. 138 00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:11,795 What a bastard, 139 00:07:11,829 --> 00:07:13,730 wanting money for a lost dog. 140 00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,698 I don't know if you're gonna like this, 141 00:07:15,732 --> 00:07:18,067 but leah and the girls named the dog 142 00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:20,035 little Ray. 143 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,638 Yeah, I like that. 144 00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:28,508 It means they miss me. 145 00:07:29,977 --> 00:07:32,912 - What kind of dog is it? - He's a... oh here. 146 00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:37,115 - Not the most... - Good God. 147 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:39,250 That is one ugly pooch. 148 00:07:39,285 --> 00:07:42,520 With that scrunched face he looks like an alien. 149 00:07:42,554 --> 00:07:45,189 He's got nice eyes though. 150 00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:48,491 - Yeah. - So how are we gonna find this gargoyle? 151 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,961 ( Music playing ) 152 00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:55,597 ♪ All I know is all I'm told ♪ 153 00:07:55,631 --> 00:07:58,900 ♪ she keeps the young from getting old again ♪ 154 00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:02,503 ♪ make sure to cross the street ♪ 155 00:08:02,537 --> 00:08:05,605 ♪ she walks to me and hurt her feet... ♪ 156 00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:26,256 - Our last flier. - Now what, 157 00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:28,625 besides getting a drink? 158 00:08:28,659 --> 00:08:30,160 Now we wait. 159 00:08:30,194 --> 00:08:32,128 Either the jerk who grabbed little Ray 160 00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:34,163 will come out from under his rock to collect the reward. 161 00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:36,765 Or if he sold the dog, maybe that person will call us. 162 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,234 - What'll it be? - One budweiser 163 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:41,336 and a glass of your worst white wine 164 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:43,237 for my friend, on me. 165 00:08:43,271 --> 00:08:46,073 You know, George is having his surgery tomorrow. 166 00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,742 I know. Poor George. Such a good guy. 167 00:08:48,776 --> 00:08:51,210 Shouldn't have shot me that time, 168 00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:52,912 but he always picks up the check. 169 00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:56,114 - Thanks. - Cin cin. 170 00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,317 ( Sighs ) 171 00:08:59,351 --> 00:09:01,685 After this, I got to go home and finish my short story 172 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,420 for "the new yorker" contest. 173 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:06,389 - What's the gist of it. - It's about a p. I. Named Harry Parker. 174 00:09:06,424 --> 00:09:10,092 It's a Pulp Fiction take on how I beat those drug dealers in prospect park. 175 00:09:10,127 --> 00:09:12,294 I turned Greene into a femme fatale... 176 00:09:12,328 --> 00:09:15,430 - a sexy blonde. - Greene would make a good woman. 177 00:09:15,465 --> 00:09:17,965 - He has nice hips. - Huh. 178 00:09:22,503 --> 00:09:23,937 ( Knocks on door ) 179 00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:30,375 Oh hey, perfect timing. 180 00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:33,178 Do you think that I'll need two bathrobes? 181 00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:35,780 Well, you're just staying at the hospital overnight, 182 00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:39,250 - so probably just one. - You're right. I better bring both. 183 00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:44,354 - George. - Oh, very good. 184 00:09:44,388 --> 00:09:46,089 - Oh hi. - Hi. 185 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:49,825 - Donna, that's Jonathan. - Oh. Oh oh, it's so nice to meet you. 186 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,060 George talks about you all the time. 187 00:09:52,095 --> 00:09:53,962 I'm so sorry about your career struggles. 188 00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:55,997 - Don't... - Right. 189 00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:58,432 I just want to thank you for taking care of George 190 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,000 and his prostate. 191 00:10:00,035 --> 00:10:02,035 Oh, of course. He'll be fine. 192 00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:05,005 I haven't made any surgical errors in years. 193 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:08,140 - Oh. ( Chuckles ) - I'd better get going. My first surgery's at 10:00. 194 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,541 Okay. 195 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,511 ( Both moan ) 196 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,680 So nice to meet you. 197 00:10:15,714 --> 00:10:18,215 Nice to meet you too, Dr. Kenwood. 198 00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:24,721 - She seems great. - Yeah, she's lovely. 199 00:10:26,757 --> 00:10:28,991 You all right, George? How are you feeling? 200 00:10:29,025 --> 00:10:30,793 To be honest, I'm a little upset. 201 00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:32,494 The way I see it, I have two options: 202 00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:35,897 One, I come out of this impotent and incontinent; 203 00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:38,733 Or two, I die under anesthesia. 204 00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:42,803 Oh no, please, George, you have to visualize a perfect recovery... 205 00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:45,304 beautiful strong erections, 206 00:10:45,339 --> 00:10:48,374 vitality, controlled urination. 207 00:10:48,408 --> 00:10:50,442 You're absolutely right. 208 00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:52,944 All right, just tell me what's going on with you. 209 00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:55,613 The best positive thinking in life 210 00:10:55,648 --> 00:10:57,148 is thinking of others. 211 00:10:57,182 --> 00:10:59,183 So what's happening? 212 00:10:59,217 --> 00:11:01,118 Distract me. 213 00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:04,220 Well, I finished my story for "The New Yorker" contest. 214 00:11:04,255 --> 00:11:06,989 - I mailed it in this morning. - Tell me the opening lines. 215 00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:09,091 I love opening lines. 216 00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:15,229 "In Harry's hand, the gun looked like a toy. 217 00:11:15,264 --> 00:11:18,399 The gun was big, but his hand was bigger." 218 00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:20,334 - ( Phone rings ) - I like that. 219 00:11:20,368 --> 00:11:22,969 - Very hardboiled. - Sorry. 220 00:11:23,004 --> 00:11:26,305 - Hello. - Woman: Are you the person looking for little Ray?" 221 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,741 Yes, I am. 222 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,609 Yeah, that's the one. 223 00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,878 Cute little thing. Beautiful eyes. 224 00:11:33,913 --> 00:11:35,913 That's what I thought. I love his eyes. 225 00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:38,315 They remind me of my nat. That's why I wanted him. 226 00:11:38,350 --> 00:11:40,951 - Nat was your dog? - No, my husband. 227 00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:43,286 He died at the deli last year. 228 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,223 Went for some half-and-half for my coffee, never came back. 229 00:11:47,257 --> 00:11:49,425 I should've just drank it black. 230 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,626 I'm sorry. 231 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,628 You kind of have his build, you know? 232 00:11:53,662 --> 00:11:56,397 Ha. That's what I liked when I was younger... 233 00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:59,199 feel a man's weight. 234 00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,268 It helps you forget your troubles. 235 00:12:01,302 --> 00:12:05,938 That's right. A lot of women today, they don't appreciate heft. 236 00:12:05,972 --> 00:12:08,240 So about little Ray. 237 00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:11,342 - Where did you see him? - The nevins street dog man 238 00:12:11,376 --> 00:12:13,110 brought him here yesterday. 239 00:12:13,145 --> 00:12:14,779 He's a pooch peddler, 240 00:12:14,813 --> 00:12:17,648 mostly little dogs. He knew I was looking for one 241 00:12:17,682 --> 00:12:19,649 because nat passed on, 242 00:12:19,684 --> 00:12:22,051 but he wanted too much money. 243 00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,420 - That must be the guy who called leah. - Yeah. 244 00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,956 - How much did he want? - $200. Yeah. 245 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,925 Then I was up at park slope, you know, where it's fancy? 246 00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,760 That's where I saw your flier. 247 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,061 I went to see my daughter. 248 00:12:33,095 --> 00:12:34,662 She lives very nice... 249 00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,964 married to a Jewish lawyer. 250 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:40,768 - Are you Jewish? - Yes. 251 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,804 Good. Steady income is nice. 252 00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,572 Right right. 253 00:12:45,606 --> 00:12:50,443 So where can we find this nevins street dog man? 254 00:12:50,477 --> 00:12:54,880 Well, he's not called the Carol street dog man, is he? 255 00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:56,248 ( Chuckles ) That's right. 256 00:12:56,282 --> 00:12:57,382 ( Giggles ) 257 00:13:00,119 --> 00:13:02,319 Well hello, Mr. Christiansen. 258 00:13:02,354 --> 00:13:05,622 - It's Christopher. - Oh my God, you brought a lot of baggage. 259 00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:09,092 When I get nervous I overpack. 260 00:13:09,126 --> 00:13:10,827 Do you think I brought too much? 261 00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:12,561 Yes, but it's okay. 262 00:13:12,596 --> 00:13:15,764 So you've had no liquids or food since last night? 263 00:13:15,799 --> 00:13:17,299 Nothing. 264 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:21,035 Actually, you know, I did brush my teeth 265 00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,671 and some water may have seeped down my throat. 266 00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:27,007 Should we reschedule? I know I swallowed some toothpaste. 267 00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:28,909 Why don't I call Dr. Kenwood? 268 00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:31,110 It's okay. Toothpaste is fine. 269 00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:34,947 So strip down and I'll be back to shave your pubic zone. 270 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,183 What? Nobody said anything about shaving down there. 271 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,051 No... oh God. 272 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:43,220 Oh, that's not fair. 273 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:45,389 ( Dogs barking ) 274 00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:50,060 There's little Ray. Hi! 275 00:13:50,094 --> 00:13:53,096 Jonathan: This explains all the missing dog posters we saw. 276 00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:54,831 I think I have my next story... 277 00:13:54,866 --> 00:13:56,800 "the nevins street dog man"... 278 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,535 a Harry Parker mystery. 279 00:13:59,803 --> 00:14:01,868 His picture doesn't do him any justice. 280 00:14:01,903 --> 00:14:05,004 He has a strange forehead, but that's a good-looking dog. 281 00:14:05,038 --> 00:14:07,340 - Hi! - It's locked. 282 00:14:07,374 --> 00:14:10,208 Well, we'll get some bolt cutters 283 00:14:10,243 --> 00:14:11,743 and we'll free little Ray. 284 00:14:11,777 --> 00:14:13,744 Right. And these other guys too. 285 00:14:13,779 --> 00:14:16,881 - Tch tch tch. - I recognize most of them from the posters. 286 00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:19,717 There's mochi, tulip, Mr. Chow. 287 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:21,985 You really like little Ray, don't you? 288 00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,953 Yeah. 289 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,088 He's like a dog version of a son. 290 00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:27,890 His mother is the woman that I love 291 00:14:27,925 --> 00:14:29,626 and we have the same name. 292 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,061 Right. 293 00:14:31,095 --> 00:14:32,929 We'll be back, little Ray. 294 00:14:40,435 --> 00:14:41,968 Lift up your gown, please. 295 00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:43,603 Uh, before we start, 296 00:14:43,638 --> 00:14:47,607 for some reason my old coloring has held true down there. 297 00:14:47,641 --> 00:14:50,509 Um, will it grow back like that? 298 00:14:50,544 --> 00:14:55,146 It's just nice to hold on to one's youth any way you can. 299 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:56,647 I don't know. 300 00:14:56,682 --> 00:14:58,749 I never had a patient come back. 301 00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,517 ( Buzzing ) 302 00:15:04,088 --> 00:15:06,589 This is the best case we've ever worked. 303 00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:08,324 I thought you hated my cases. 304 00:15:08,358 --> 00:15:10,059 I do, but this one's different. 305 00:15:10,093 --> 00:15:12,861 This is my opening to win leah back. 306 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:14,930 You really do want her back, don't you? 307 00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:16,932 Of course I do. 308 00:15:16,966 --> 00:15:19,067 Ray, there's something I need to tell you. 309 00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:21,169 Oh God, I hate when you do this. 310 00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:23,938 It's like forcing a man to look up at the guillotine. 311 00:15:23,972 --> 00:15:27,240 Go ahead and chop my head off with whatever weird thing you need to say. 312 00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:30,076 Okay. I feel terrible, 313 00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,311 but yesterday I almost kissed leah. 314 00:15:38,885 --> 00:15:41,553 Ray, I'm sorry! 315 00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:42,921 Raymond! 316 00:15:43,889 --> 00:15:46,257 - ( Panting ) - Ray. 317 00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:48,125 Wait, listen. 318 00:15:48,159 --> 00:15:50,828 I just leaned towards her. It was only a lean. 319 00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,763 And she would've rejected me anyway. 320 00:15:52,797 --> 00:15:55,632 Of course she would've rejected you, but why did you try to kiss her? 321 00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:57,633 She just seemed so sad about the dog. 322 00:15:57,668 --> 00:16:00,569 - Maybe I wanted to kiss her on your behalf. - That's bullshit. 323 00:16:00,603 --> 00:16:03,772 Ray, I'm sorry if I hurt you. Please forgive me. 324 00:16:06,843 --> 00:16:09,811 Well, I banged Suzanne. 325 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:11,913 - You did? - No. 326 00:16:11,947 --> 00:16:13,514 Of course not. I didn't bang Suzanne. 327 00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:15,582 I wanted to. I wanted to bang all your girlfriends. 328 00:16:15,616 --> 00:16:17,184 I wish you had. 329 00:16:17,218 --> 00:16:19,552 You can if you want to. 330 00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:25,223 Well, you didn't actually kiss her and I understand. 331 00:16:25,258 --> 00:16:28,126 Leah's the most beautiful girl in the world, so... 332 00:16:29,895 --> 00:16:31,228 Let's just forget about it. 333 00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:34,831 Forgetting, forgotten. Forgotted! 334 00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:37,700 Don't push it with the wordplay. 335 00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:41,603 I've missed you. 336 00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:43,605 I've missed you. 337 00:16:43,639 --> 00:16:45,173 I always miss you. 338 00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:47,308 Why don't we ever work things out? 339 00:16:47,342 --> 00:16:49,343 I guess we're like children... 340 00:16:49,377 --> 00:16:52,312 that thing we can't reach is the thing we want. 341 00:16:57,484 --> 00:17:00,085 Why don't you crawl on up here? 342 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,021 They shaved my pubic zone. 343 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,156 I would've liked to have done that for you. 344 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,291 Oh God, look at you. 345 00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,494 - Oh. - ( Both laugh ) 346 00:17:11,796 --> 00:17:14,831 I am so glad that possibly 347 00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:17,299 the last erection of my life 348 00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:19,234 is with you. 349 00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:22,938 I guess that's your line with all the girls. 350 00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,939 It sounded so sincere this morning. 351 00:17:24,974 --> 00:17:28,109 Dr. Kenwood, this is not what... 352 00:17:28,143 --> 00:17:30,077 what you think. 353 00:17:30,111 --> 00:17:33,079 - This is, uh... This is, uh... - Priscilla. 354 00:17:33,114 --> 00:17:34,681 Priscilla my ex-wife. 355 00:17:34,715 --> 00:17:38,451 And we were just snuggling for old times' sake. 356 00:17:38,485 --> 00:17:41,253 That's all, nothing more. 357 00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:43,288 Priscilla, this is my doctor. 358 00:17:43,322 --> 00:17:46,957 Nice to meet you. Yes. 359 00:17:51,495 --> 00:17:54,196 - Well, I'll see you at 6:00 P.M.... - Mm-hmm. 360 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,264 ...But you'll be under so you won't see me. 361 00:17:56,298 --> 00:17:58,935 It should all go well, I hope. 362 00:17:58,969 --> 00:18:00,937 You hope? 363 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,706 Donna... Donna? 364 00:18:03,741 --> 00:18:07,075 Are you sleeping with your doctor? 365 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:09,978 Well, she is a urologist. 366 00:18:10,947 --> 00:18:13,114 ( Dogs barking ) 367 00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:26,292 Is that bastard feeding them cat food? That is so low. 368 00:18:26,326 --> 00:18:29,226 We're just gonna have to wait here and then we'll bust 'em out. 369 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,961 Shit. I don't know if I've got time. 370 00:18:30,995 --> 00:18:32,495 George's surgery's in two hours. 371 00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,063 I said I'd see him before he went in. 372 00:18:34,097 --> 00:18:35,665 - Maybe we can come back tonight. - No, it's too risky. 373 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:37,567 We've got to wait this out. Something could happen. 374 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:40,036 - But I can't miss the surgery. - You go take care of George. 375 00:18:40,071 --> 00:18:41,905 - I'll take care of little Ray. - Are you sure? 376 00:18:41,939 --> 00:18:44,173 - You're okay on your own? - Yes. 377 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,908 I'm good with bolt cutters. 378 00:18:45,942 --> 00:18:48,844 I've never used them before but they feel like scissors. 379 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,545 Okay. I'll call you when I'm done. 380 00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,247 And Ray, I'm sorry about... 381 00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:54,782 I've forgotten about it, okay? 382 00:18:54,816 --> 00:18:56,817 But just know one day, 383 00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:59,786 - I'm gonna almost kiss somebody that you love. - Right. 384 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,788 Tell George that I'm rooting for him, all right? 385 00:19:01,822 --> 00:19:04,490 - I'm going to pray for his cock. - That'll mean a lot to George. 386 00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:07,392 Do you have to ruin everything? Go. 387 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,374 I'm just glad 388 00:19:26,409 --> 00:19:30,578 that possibly my last erection in life is with you. 389 00:19:30,612 --> 00:19:32,880 Did you really use the same line with both women? 390 00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:35,682 Yes. And I meant it each time. 391 00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:38,485 Oh my God. You don't think that Donna 392 00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:41,020 will take it out on me on the operating table, do you? 393 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,454 I don't know. I would hope not. 394 00:19:42,489 --> 00:19:44,690 Oh God, I'm such an idiot. 395 00:19:44,724 --> 00:19:48,159 Well, one good thing... if I die, I can't get any stupider. 396 00:19:48,193 --> 00:19:50,194 George, you're not stupid. 397 00:19:50,228 --> 00:19:52,229 Yes, I am. I'm 62 years old 398 00:19:52,263 --> 00:19:55,498 and I'm still just utterly confused 399 00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:57,233 - about everything. - Like what? 400 00:19:57,267 --> 00:20:00,936 Myself, women, men, life in general. 401 00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:02,737 I guess that's it. 402 00:20:02,772 --> 00:20:05,039 Well, you have covered all the bases. 403 00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:06,741 Well, I do like to be thorough. 404 00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:09,643 - ( Door opens ) - Mr. Christiansen, sweetie, 405 00:20:09,678 --> 00:20:12,012 I'll be back in a second with a chair to take you to surgery. 406 00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:14,180 Thank you, dear. 407 00:20:15,816 --> 00:20:17,416 - "Christiansen"? - I don't know. 408 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,184 She's been getting it wrong all day. 409 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,753 Everybody does, actually, ever since I was a kid. 410 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,723 She's very nice. She shaved my pubic area. 411 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:28,324 Had a nice soft touch. 412 00:20:31,728 --> 00:20:34,163 George, 413 00:20:34,197 --> 00:20:36,899 I just want you to know that, um, 414 00:20:36,933 --> 00:20:40,201 well, I love you. 415 00:20:43,271 --> 00:20:45,372 Okay, good-looking, in you go. 416 00:20:45,407 --> 00:20:47,441 ( Wheelchair rattles ) 417 00:20:47,475 --> 00:20:49,509 ( Clears throat ) 418 00:20:52,079 --> 00:20:54,981 Is this your son? 419 00:20:55,015 --> 00:20:56,415 Yes. 420 00:20:56,450 --> 00:20:59,718 Your dad'll be okay. I promise. 421 00:20:59,752 --> 00:21:03,121 George. I'll be here when you get back. 422 00:21:03,155 --> 00:21:04,822 I know. 423 00:21:08,594 --> 00:21:10,027 ( Sighs ) 424 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,229 ( Dogs barking ) 425 00:21:32,413 --> 00:21:34,347 I'll tell you who let the dogs out. 426 00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:05,840 Oh my God. 427 00:22:05,874 --> 00:22:08,008 They've got the wrong George. 428 00:22:08,042 --> 00:22:10,276 ( Music playing ) 429 00:22:10,311 --> 00:22:12,178 - ( Barking ) - ♪ The enemy is everywhere ♪ 430 00:22:12,212 --> 00:22:14,647 - ♪ the enemy is everywhere... ♪ - Hey, what the fuck?! 431 00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:17,849 ♪ The enemy is everywhere ♪ 432 00:22:17,883 --> 00:22:20,684 ♪ the enemy is everywhere ♪ 433 00:22:20,719 --> 00:22:23,753 ♪ nobody seems to be willing to care ♪ 434 00:22:23,787 --> 00:22:25,654 ♪ the enemy is everywhere... ♪ 435 00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:27,357 - Stop! - ( Music stops ) 436 00:22:31,361 --> 00:22:33,696 ( Music resumes ) ♪ the enemy is everywhere ♪ 437 00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:36,399 ♪ the enemy is everywhere... ♪ 438 00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:39,234 - I'm gonna kill you! - Fuck you, dog snatcher! 439 00:22:40,903 --> 00:22:42,704 Mush mush! 440 00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:45,004 ♪ Nobody seems to be willing to care ♪ 441 00:22:45,039 --> 00:22:48,374 ♪ the enemy is everywhere... ♪ 442 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:50,275 - Stop! - ( Music stops ) 443 00:22:51,744 --> 00:22:54,345 Sorry. I'm sorry. 444 00:22:54,380 --> 00:22:56,514 ( Music resumes ) 445 00:22:58,383 --> 00:22:59,483 Hey, slow down! 446 00:23:02,521 --> 00:23:04,822 Hey hey, come back here! 447 00:23:04,856 --> 00:23:07,057 ♪ The enemy is everywhere ♪ 448 00:23:07,091 --> 00:23:09,393 ♪ the enemy is everywhere... ♪ 449 00:23:09,427 --> 00:23:11,994 ( grunts ) 450 00:23:12,028 --> 00:23:15,197 Ow, that hurt, you fat fuck! 451 00:23:15,232 --> 00:23:17,299 Fuck you! I've lost weight! 452 00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:19,034 Mush mush! 453 00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:20,535 Go, little Ray. 454 00:23:20,569 --> 00:23:23,904 ♪ The enemy is everywhere ♪ 455 00:23:23,938 --> 00:23:26,272 ♪ the enemy is everywhere ♪ 456 00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:28,439 ♪ the enemy is everywhere. ♪ 457 00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:30,274 He doesn't live in Queens! 458 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,376 - Stop! - Grab him! 459 00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:34,778 What? Queens? 460 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:39,181 ( Barking ) 461 00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:47,088 Oh my God. Ray. 462 00:23:47,122 --> 00:23:48,889 Mommy, look! Little Ray's back! 463 00:23:48,924 --> 00:23:51,458 All right, let's go inside. 464 00:23:51,493 --> 00:23:54,795 - I don't understand. - Jonathan asked me to help on the case 465 00:23:54,829 --> 00:23:56,196 so I did. 466 00:23:56,230 --> 00:23:58,865 They've missed him so much. Thank you. 467 00:23:58,899 --> 00:24:00,767 Yeah, I'll bet he's happy to be home. 468 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:04,136 Mom, little Ray already peed on the floor. 469 00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:06,104 And now he's going number two! 470 00:24:06,138 --> 00:24:07,938 I really like that little guy. 471 00:24:07,973 --> 00:24:11,108 Well, I should probably go clean that up. 472 00:24:11,142 --> 00:24:12,409 Okay. 473 00:24:13,978 --> 00:24:16,579 It was really nice seeing you. 474 00:24:16,614 --> 00:24:19,381 You look great, big Ray. 475 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,950 So do you, big leah. 476 00:24:21,984 --> 00:24:24,185 Thanks for saving little Ray. 477 00:24:26,222 --> 00:24:28,923 - Okay. - I'll see you later. 478 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:32,927 See you later. 479 00:24:41,101 --> 00:24:44,936 All right, guys. That went pretty well, I think. 480 00:24:44,970 --> 00:24:47,104 I've got a lot of calls to make. 481 00:24:47,139 --> 00:24:49,707 What's that? You don't like cat food? 482 00:24:49,741 --> 00:24:52,576 Well, you know what? If you heat it up, it ain't that bad. 483 00:24:52,610 --> 00:24:54,210 All right. Here we go, here we go. 484 00:24:54,245 --> 00:24:58,213 So it was a real Mexican standoff. 485 00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,282 Donna broke up with me because of Priscilla. 486 00:25:00,316 --> 00:25:04,252 Then I broke up with Donna because of her office's grievous clerical error. 487 00:25:04,286 --> 00:25:05,953 This whole thing is so insane. 488 00:25:05,987 --> 00:25:09,022 I know. I have to rethink everything. 489 00:25:09,056 --> 00:25:11,658 I do want to thank you, though, for saving me. 490 00:25:11,692 --> 00:25:14,260 Oh my God. I'm so glad I still have a prostate. 491 00:25:14,294 --> 00:25:16,795 - Of course, George. - I guess I could sue, right? 492 00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:19,065 But for what? Loss of pubic hair? 493 00:25:19,099 --> 00:25:22,268 Truth of the matter is this is the best I've felt in years. 494 00:25:22,302 --> 00:25:26,771 There's nothing like finding out you don't have cancer. 495 00:25:26,806 --> 00:25:28,873 This should happen more often. 496 00:25:28,907 --> 00:25:32,075 Poor George Christiansen when he finds out. 497 00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:35,544 Oh my God. I hadn't even considered that. 498 00:25:35,579 --> 00:25:38,247 Well, I guess I could write him a thank-you note. 499 00:25:38,281 --> 00:25:40,716 Would that be appropriate? 500 00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:50,717 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 501 00:25:52,994 --> 00:25:57,330 ♪ they came over one by one ♪ 502 00:25:57,364 --> 00:26:01,533 ♪ if only just to see ♪ 503 00:26:02,869 --> 00:26:06,971 ♪ and I don't know how happiness ♪ 504 00:26:07,006 --> 00:26:12,076 ♪ gets hidden in the wilderness ♪ 505 00:26:12,110 --> 00:26:16,580 ♪ I'm leaving in the morning ♪ 506 00:26:16,614 --> 00:26:21,818 ♪ with my paddle and my lime. ♪ 507 00:26:23,887 --> 00:26:26,889 ( vocalizing )