You in the dinghy! This is the police.
Put your hands on your head.
Mick?
G'day, Sarge!
I might have known it would be you.
It's these New York fish, Sarge, they won't take the bait.
Breakfast.
Get outta here! Come on, let's go.
Mick?
Breakfast.
What are you doing? You scared me.
- Just admiring the view. Want coffee? - Yeah.
- Thinking about home? - Yeah.
- You must miss it. - The bush? A bit.
I could be in the bar at Walkabout Creek right now,
gazing across at Wally and Nugget and Donk.
Or I could be here looking at you. No contest.
- I'm thinking about looking for a job. - You're kidding.
No. A man can't stay on holidays for ever.
Well, you seem to have managed OK so far.
I'd have done it last week, but I wanted to see Doug meet his twin brother.
- Doug who? - On TV. Days of Our Lives.
Oh, Mick! We definitely have to get you a job!
Mick, my friend didn't see you throw. Could you show him?
- You can play. I've got to go to work. - Play?
- Don't forget lunch. - No worries. Right...
- Where's the rabbit? - Here it is.
Put the rabbit down there and get out of the way.
- Rocks. - Don't miss, Mick.
- Close your eyes! - Oh, all right.
One...
...two...
...three...
...four. OK, you can look.
- Any good? - That was the best.
Know how come he can do that? In the bush, if you miss, you don't eat.
Yes, but that's only half of it. First, you gotta find the animals.
What's this?
- A snake. That's a snake trail. - Quick.
Snakes are good eating.
What's this one?
- That's a goanna, a real big lizard. - Right.
You can eat it, but it tastes like shit, right?
Yeah... Here's another one, real quick.
What's that? Don't know?
Dunlop radials, Tony's bike.
- That was a good one. - All right, practise. Bye.
- See you later! - Bye!
- Don't forget lunch! - That was good.
G'day, all.
- What'll you have? - Just a beer, mate.
- Mind if I make an announcement? - Go ahead.
Thanks.
Mick Dundee's the name. Fairly new in town.
Looking for some kind of a job.
Any suggestions?
That's enough job hunting for one day.
- Yo, Mick, my man! - G'day, Leroy.
- You're looking for work? - Kinda.
Well, then look no further.
- I can get you into something sweet. - Great.
Let me grab some cigarettes, then we'll talk business.
Hey.
- You're pretty tight with Leroy. - Yeah, nice fella.
Let me warn you, he's a bad dude.
He's into some pretty heavy shit.
- Leroy? Seems harmless enough. - Just so you know.
Yo, Mick, let's walk. Less ears on the street.
OK... Back in a sec.
OK, like... I got a little supply business going, right?
- Hey, like you will work for me. - What would I be doing?
- Delivering stuff. - Stuff?
This is just between you and me. It goes no further, right?
Right.
Stationery.
Stationery?
You know. Pens, erasers, office supplies...
- And that's heavy shit? - No, man, it ain't.
I'm strictly legit.
But if you have a name like Leroy Brown, people expect you to be bad.
- Like the song. - Oh, right!
But...
- I kinda like the image. - Yeah.
- You dig? - Yup. Dig.
Is that part of the job? Digging?
Man, you really are prehistoric. You want the job?
I dunno, Leroy. Don't really know what I wanna do yet.
OK. When you make up your mind, you let me know.
OK.
In the meantime...
...I gotta split.
You be cool.
Beast. The perfect gift for Donk.
Well, it makes a man irresistible.
You don't sound very convincing. I think I'll test it.
Doesn't work.
Well, it doesn't!
I'd like to get Wally the kind of thing you can only buy in America.
Hello.
Maybe cushions saying "I love New York" that you put in your car.
Hi, Sue. What are you doing?
Hi, Doris. Nothing exciting, just going through some mail.
- Bob Tanner. Isn't he your ex-husband? - We still keep in touch.
Sue, he's cute! Where was I when you two broke up?
- I could have consoled him! - That's gonna be difficult.
He spends most of his time in Colombia. That's where the action is.
Que sera, sera... Speaking of action, when am I gonna meet Tarzan?
- You mean Mick? - You have another hot jungle lover?
- Soon, I promise. - Sue...
What's he like in bed?
I dunno. He still sleeps on the floor.
OK, some visitors.
This must be Rico.
Hello, Rico. Nice suit.
Cómo está, huh?
A little slimy...
What the hell's this?
Shit!
- Operador. - This is Seòor Tanner in Room 1 1.
Would you get me...
...Bogota 6-3-7? - Sí, senor.
Gracias.
- Hello. - Your call.
- Brannigan. - Something's happened.
Get me out. I want protection.
OK, you'll get it. Just calm down.
So, what have you got?
Rico was at the cocaine plant.
Yeah, it was him.
And he killed a guy, personally. I took pictures of the whole thing.
- Great. Did you send them off? - Yeah, but not to you.
- But I'll send you framed copies. - Where did you send them?
Sure, I tell you, and you kiss me goodbye.
They shot at me! Now come and get me!
OK, stay put. We'll be there in an hour. You'll be on the next flight.
- Great. - You did a great job.
Thank you very much. Just come and get me.
- Operador. - Hi, it's me again.
Would you get me New York City 21 2-555-6432?
- Sí, senor. Nueva York. - Thank you.
Sue, listen...
Hello. This is Mick Dundee here.
I'm not really here, this is a recording. Good, isn't it?
Sue's not here either,
and you should leave a message after the beep.
Hey, great message. Sue, this is Robert.
I sent you a letter. Don't open it until you hear from me.
There's nobody else that I trust. This is big with a capital B.
Bye.
- G'day, Ralph. - How's it hangin'?
- Good, mate. Anything for me? - Got something for your lady friend.
There you go.
What about this one?
My fellow Americans,
let me make one thing perfectly clear.
That's funny, Ralph. Who is it?
It's Nixon! You know, Tricky Dicky?
No, I don't know him. Does he live round here?
He used to be the President!
Oh, right. Yeah, that was just like him.
- I'll work on it. - See you, mate.
See you later, Mick.
Hey, you ugly mother. Gimme your wallet!
Hey, relax! It's just me, man.
- Leroy! - How you doin'?
- Fancy a drink? - Sounds good.
- I got a couple of deliveries to make. - Can I help?
This goes to Moore, Bank and Patterson, on the 23rd floor of that building.
- No worries. See you back here. - In five minutes.
- G'day. - Yes.
- Can I help you? - That's your stationery.
Can you wait while I check this?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, there's a guy walking past your window.
- OK, what's the gag? - No, serious.
Oh, my God. It's a jumper. I'd better call the police.
- A what? - A jumper. A suicide!
Maybe I should go and talk to him.
Don't try to stop me.
- I don't want to. I just wanna get past. - What?
- I wanna get by. You're in the way. - You're kidding.
No. I walk around here every day.
Get away from the noise and traffic, get fresh air.
You had the same idea yourself, did you?
I don't give a damn about the air! I'm about to throw myself off the building.
You could kill yourself.
That's the whole idea.
Oh, right. I'll just wait till you've finished.
Would you mind getting a move on? I'm on my lunch break.
I can't do it with you watching.
Oh... Sorry.
Just out of curiosity, why...?
Have you ever been hopelessly and completely in love,
only to find out that...
...that you've been used?
No, I can't say that I have.
I loved that bitch!
- It's all right. - And he betrayed me.
He?
Screw that!
Hello, Sue. No trouble, darling. Let's get into the car, OK?
Sit.
Sue Charlton.
You got something for me?
- Who are you and what do you want? - Forgive me. I am Luís Rico.
Your ex-husband Bob sent you a film. It belongs to me. I want it back.
Bob? I don't know what you're talking about.
This is very simple. We do business and you go home.
He sent you a letter. Where is it?
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's here by now. He left a message on your machine.
I never got any message. The machine's been broken.
Felipe.
He says the boyfriend is back.
What do you want him to do?
- His name? - Mick.
He lives with you?
- Does he check the mail? - Yeah, I guess.
Tell Felipe to bring Mick around for a coffee.
He says that the DEA... they staked out the place.
- Brannigan just went inside the building. - Mierda!
Tell him to just sit tight. This is getting out of hand.
Call Mick. And pray he has some brains.
He does like I tell him, you both come out alive.
Sue?
Just a second.
- Yeah? - Mick.
- You should see the joint... - Listen, I'm in trouble.
- Did you check the mail today? - Yeah, why?
Was there a letter for me from Colombia?
Hang on a second... Colombia. Yeah, I've got it here.
- Thank God. - What's going on?
- Mick, I'm being held prisoner... - Shut up and listen.
- Who's this? - There's a cop coming to see you.
Give him nothing. Get rid of him, or your lady is dead.
Call you back in two minutes.
Listen...
Brannigan. Drug Enforcement Administration.
- Is Sue Charlton in? - Not at the moment, no.
- When do you expect her? - I'm not sure.
You know these big-time reporters, out reporting all hours.
Would you ask her to call, if you bump into her?
Sure.
- Aren't you gonna ask what it's about? - Not my business.
OK, fine.
Yes?
Bring the letter to Hoyt Street station, downtown side.
Wait till someone comes. You got that?
Yes. I wanna talk to Sue. Now.
- Mick, do what they say and be careful. - You just hang on.
One thing more, amigo.
If you're followed, if you screw this up...
...your lady is dead. Comprendes?
Yeah, I got it.
- A little mustard? - Yeah.
Ketchup?
OK, here she is.
Mom?
- Finished? - What?
Are you finished?
Don't put it away. Put your hands up on the wall.
- Now, where's Sue Charlton? - Who's that?
Lord! Man, no! How should I know where she is?
I've been following you. Brannigan told me to follow you.
- Brannigan. So you're a cop? - Yeah, DEA.
- Can I do up my fly? - No.
- All right. - What do you want with Sue?
Pictures. We think she's got...
...photographs of a guy named Rico. Evidence, you know.
- Who's Rico? - A big-time drug dealer, a killer.
- Where is he? Where does he live? - How do I know?
Look, I think I've been more than reasonable, so...
What do you say you and me just forget this little incident ever took place, OK?
'Cause it's kind of embarrassing, you know?
He's gone.
Are you OK, buddy?
You gotta be Dundee.
- Where's the girl? - Coming in on the next train.
- The item? - We'll wait.
She must have got off at the wrong stop.
No, no, no...
Keep going.
Now, that's a knife.
...the legendary New York City subway, completed in nineteen hundred and...
...it's the most extensive subway system in the world,
encompassing 481.2 real miles.
Feel free to take pictures.
Please get on the train in an orderly fashion...
No, no... Go on...
Yeah.
How does this work?
Oh, my God! He's got a gun!
He'll kill somebody, he's crazy! Where are you going?
I'm gonna get into trouble!
- Thank you. - Slap me five.
You know who that was? Clint Eastwood!
Clint Eastwood?
Yes, very tall.
Yes.
Clint Eastwood.
You know what this is?
- Cocaine. - Wrong. It's money and power.
With this, you can do anything to anybody.
Five, ten years from now,
I'm gonna retire, buy myself a little island.
Hawaii, maybe.
Who do you think you are?
You threaten to kill people and then act like you're some sort of a rock star.
You're a drug dealer.
Grubby little parasite.
You should watch your mouth.
It's not wise to annoy me.
Bob Tanner did and I had his head blown off like that.
You killed Bob?
And if your Mick screws this up...
Wakey, wakey.
You kill people for a living. Not very good at it, are you?
- You should try another business. - Shove it!
- You're too heavy to be clever. - Are you kidding?
You ain't gonna...!
Scary, eh?
Please! What do you want?
- Where's the girl? - Rico's got her. At his place.
And where exactly is that?
Thank God! I thought you were gonna leave me here.
- Long Island. That's east of here, right? - Yeah.
- Thanks. - Hey!
Freeze! Hold it!
Excuse me.
Shall I go after him?
- Be my guest. - Yeah.
Mick, this is serious shit you're talking about.
DEA, international drug rings...
This is all hazardous to your health.
Yeah, but... Think what it'll do for your reputation.
Oh, yeah!
Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole damn cemetery!
I don't know how these people think.
I need someone who's... roadwise.
Roadwise.
Let's go.
The car's... I mean, like, the wheels are out back.
I'm cool.
You mustn't let these minor disruptions ruin your appetite.
Try the lobster. I had it flown in from Maine this morning.
There's nothing wrong with the food, it's the company.
Would you look at this stuff!
There's TV cameras...
...infra-red beams!
They're gonna know you're there before you do.
Maybe we should just call the police.
Mick...
Guys like this own cops.
Even if the guys you call are straight, what are they gonna do?
Come with sirens wailing and guns blazing?
She'll be dead in two seconds, if she's still alive.
She's still alive.
How do you know that?
That's the only way I can see her. Up here.
If I even start to think she's hurt, my guts twist up, I can't think straight,
and I'm no good to her.
- So, what do we do now? - We need some kind of distraction.
When we get in, whatever you do, be cool, go easy. These dogs bite.
Fortunately, they know my rep round here.
I'll just smooth the way.
- Yo, Rat. - Leroy.
I would consider it a personal favour if you'll hear my man here.
- You're the crocodile man, ain't you? - Yeah.
I've seen you around.
- I'm Rat. - Hey, Rat.
What d'you want, crocodile man?
- I've got a problem. I need your help. - You've come to the right place.
That's what we're here for, huh?
Nice jacket.
How can we be of service?
Well, these heavy dudes kidnapped my woman.
They're holding her in a big mansion and I'm gonna bust her out.
"Heavy dudes"?
Lots of guys with machine guns, shit like that?
Probably.
So, you want us to charge down the guns.
Death before dishonour, all that stuff?
I'm the only one that's gonna get shot at.
What I want from you is a distraction, so I can get in.
So, what's in it for us?
Leroy tells me that your gang is the coolest gang in New York.
That's the word.
- What did you do last night? - We didn't do nothin'.
We was here all night.
That's what you call cool, is it?
So tomorrow, if someone asks you that question,
you can say, "We didn't do nothin'."
Or say, "We went to Long Island and helped this lunatic storm a fortress."
At least you could watch me get my head blown off.
What are your chances?
Fair.
What are your chances of getting outta here with that jacket on?
Better than average.
Yeah, I'll go along with that.
He wants to drive, let him drive!
- I didn't think you'd get anybody. - Would you miss this?
- No. - Exactly.
Hey, yo! Like, be cool with the clutch!
Hey, Judy, what's going on?
Looks like these guys are gonna blow up Long Island.
- What the hell, let's check it out! - Yeah, let's go, man!
Go!
OK, Kemo sabe. We're set.
It's time for you to do your Lone Ranger stuff.
Thanks, Rat.
Souvenir.
Good luck, Mick.
Miguel, there's something going on outside, man.
There is all this weird howling.
They're only kids, punks. Go get rid of them.
Don't start shooting at shadows. We don't want the cops around.
Do we?
Shit.
They don't even have machine guns!
Yeah, like, he's cool.
That's my man!
What's happening here?
What's going on here?
- I'm in. What are we doing? - What are you, a penguin?
Who are these people?
There he goes.
Damn! He's going in!
- He's going in! - All right!
- What's happening? - Just kids.
- They set off the alarm. - Check the house anyway.
- Leroy! - Hey, Mick!
Thought you might need a hand.
It looks like you've taken care of business.
Check out this party!
It don't fit.
Where did all these people come from?
Better ask Leroy. He's in charge of the cavalry.
It's like, curiosity, my man.
Like, the word gets around,
that bad, bad Leroy Brown got something going down,
they can't stay away. I mean, with my reputation...
Mick, I gotta split.
Looks like explanation time.
- How do you like your eggs, mate? - Over easy, thanks, Mick.
- Morning, Miss Charlton. - Morning.
I was assigned to guard your door. Mick invited me in.
- Morning. - G'day.
- Don't you have a post, mister? - Yes, sir.
- Do you mind? I'm starving. - Dig right in.
Got a fork? Thanks.
Well, we haven't found Rico yet.
He'll have skipped the country by now, but he'll be back.
He has to, you don't walk away from $1 00 million.
Just how exactly was Bob involved in this?
He owed us a favour.
Here's the photos Bob took. They can really stir things up.
Rico blew it when he kidnapped you. Now we can put him away for keeps.
What now?
The first thing is to put you two into protective custody.
We go to jail while Rico walks around free?
No, not jail. We'll hide you away somewhere safe...
You got any ketchup?
...till we get Rico off the streets. Guys like that should be...
Building across the street!
Roof, I think. Move it!
- Is this what you call safe custody? - I didn't expect it to start so soon.
Maybe you can protect her, but I know I can.
Not here. Somewhere I can see 'em coming.
What have you got in mind?
You see, the Northern Territory is wilderness.
Now, if any of you city folk went out there and got lost,
you would last about three days.
Gosh! And you were out there alone and wounded for 1 2 days, Mr Reilly?
Gator. No, I wasn't really alone, you see, I...
...I had old Bessie.
And how is old Bessie, Gator?
Mick! You're back!
You're back!
- I missed you. - I know.
Sue! Sue Charlton.
Here's one of your fellow countrymen, a brilliant New York journalist.
She's the one that put Walkabout Creek on the international scene.
Good to see you again, Gator.
- Mick! - Donk, you old bastard! How are you?
G'day, mate! Bet you've got some stories.
Have I ever, son. But not on a dry throat.
- Ida? - The drinks are on the house.
That's a first!
- So what were those New Yorkers like? - They were a lot like us, Nugget.
In fact, I saw Donk's twin brother over there, in the Bronx Zoo.
- I don't have a brother. - In a cage, Donk!
- He's still quick. - Nothing's changed.
- Son of a bitch! - What's stopping you?
- Here, what's stopping you? - Donk!
Cheers, Mick!
Luís.
Jefe.
It's like they jumped off the planet.
Nobody knows nothing, not even the Feds.
Somebody knows. Double the price. The girl's got to die.
But no one touches Dundee. He's for me.
Mick, this area we're in now, does it have a name?
Billongamick.
Billongamick... Does that mean something?
Mick's place.
OK, why does it mean that?
- 'Cause I own it, I guess. - You own it?
Yeah, an uncle of mine left it to me years ago.
How big is Mick's place?
It's not very big. You could walk across it in three or four days.
Three or four days! You can walk across New York State in two!
But this is the Territory. Anything under 1,000 square miles is a hobby farm.
And Mick's Place, it's all swamps and rocky mountains.
The only things you can raise here are mosquitoes.
Well, I don't care if it is worthless. I'm glad it's yours, I love it.
I wouldn't say it's worthless. It does have some redeeming features.
- Is this what I think it is? - M-hm.
Tomorrow, at my weekender, I'll show you the Reserve Bank.
That's what I call my mine. It's like my retirement fund.