现在 不是吧
Nah. Now, seriously,
潘妮 潘绝不可能
there's no fucking way that Penny Pann
赢过这波涛汹涌
can compete with these tits!
- 你爱它吗 - 我爱什么
- Do you love it? - Do I love what?
喜剧
Comedy.
单口喜剧 你爱它吗
Stand-up. Do you love it?
说真的吗
Seriously?
我已经做这个有一阵了
Well, I've been doing it a while.
这么跟你说吧
Okay, let's put it like this.
只要这世界上还有其他任何
If there was anything else in the entire world
能让我养家糊口的事 我都会去做
that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would.
任何事 哪怕是去三K党做干洗工
Anything. I'm talking dry cleaners to the Klan,
残疾儿童肖像画师 屠宰场打下手
crippled-kid portrait painter, slaughterhouse attendant.
如果有人对我说“莱纳德 要么你去吃个人头
If someone said to me, "Leonard, you can either eat a guy's head"
要么去科帕讲两周单口”
or do two weeks at the Copa,"
我会回答 “他妈的给我盐”
I'd say, "Pass the fucking salt."
这是份糟糕至极的工作
It's a terrible, terrible job.
就不应该存在
It should not exist.
就像癌症和上帝
Like cancer and God.
对不起
Sorry.
我去了瓦里克警局
I went to the Varick station instead.
- 你为什么会走错 - 因为你更喜欢瓦里克
- Why the hell would you do that? - 'Cause you like Varick better.
老天 宝贝 被抓了是没得选的
Jesus, Honey, you don't get to pick.
但你爱单口吗
But do you love it?
他喜欢
Yeah. He loves it.
打扰下 可以给我开保释金的收据 或
Excuse me. Do I need a receipt for the bail money, or...
下一位赢得满堂喝彩的女士
And next up in a night full of triumphs,
我妻子忘记让出租车司机停里程表
Honey forgot to tell the cabdriver to turn the meter off.
他要价20美元还不接受大麻付款
He's up to 20 bucks and refuses to get paid in weed,
- 所以我想你能不能 - 当然 给你
so I was wondering if maybe you... Of course. Here.
- 记我账上 - 好的
- Put it on my tab? - Sure.
对了 如果你需要找律师
And, hey, if you need any help finding a lawyer,
我有一抽屉名片
I've got a drawer full of cards.
- 只是别告诉别人我在哪儿 - 律师
Just don't tell anyone you know where I am. -Lawyer?
- 收据 - 什么
- Receipt. - What?
你说律师是什么意思
Wha... What did you mean "lawyer"?
为什么要提律师
Wait, wh-what about a lawyer?
- 等等 - 你说
- Hold on. - You said
如果我要找律师
if I need help finding a lawyer.
为什么我需要律师
Why do I need help finding a lawyer?
你被捕了 就得上庭 上庭就需要律师
You got arrested, arrested means court, court means lawyer.
- 但我为什么要找律师 我被保释了 - 所以呢
But why do I need a lawyer? I got bailed out. -So?
- 就在被捕当晚 - 所以
- On the night I was arrested. - So?
- 我都没在警局过夜 - 你想说什么
- I didn't sleep there. - Where is this going?
我被捕当晚就被保释了
I got bailed out on the night I got arrested.
就像什么都没发生过一样
It's almost like it didn't even happen.
- 但确实发生了 - 很快啊
- But it did happen. - But very quickly.
我的建议是 给自己辩护吧
My advice: be your own lawyer.
- 还在走表 - 我该
- It's ticking. - I should...
- 等等 - 怎么
- Wait. - Yes?
怎么了
What?
我
I...
你
You...?
我 我不知道该做什么
I-I don't know what to do.
那么 现在是早上
Well, it's morning.
吃个早餐吧
Go have breakfast.
Orange 字幕组
莱尼 等死我了
Lenny, for Christ's sake, I'm dying here.
Orange 字幕组
原创翻译 双语字幕
知道了 干坐在出租车里确实不好受
Yes, sitting in the cab must be harrowing.
别再从窗外扔下来了 扔进垃圾桶啊
Stop throwing it out the window and put it in the trash.
看吧 狗都受不了你
See, even the dog is upset about it.
- 没有 - 你撞倒她了
- No. - You tackled her.
推 就轻轻推了下
A nudge. A gentle nudge.
你就是撞倒她了 就像她跑到十码线了一样
You took her down like she had the ball at the ten-yard line.
我只是觉得不该给那人
I simply felt it went to the wrong person.
她完全不值 而且这花这么漂亮
She'd waste it. And this is a very nice bouquet.
- 她的耳朵还在震呢 - 里面还有栀子花呢
- Her ears are still ringing. - It has gardenias in it.
残忍 我的妻子真残忍啊
Brutal. My wife is brutal.
很完美是不是
It was perfect, wasn't it?
是啊 完美
Yeah. Perfect.
完美的婚礼
Perfect wedding,
完美的早餐 完美的人生
perfect breakfast, perfect life.
所以
So...
- 最后的机会 - 干嘛
- Last chance. - For what?
我们还可以买下街角那个公寓
We could still get that apartment around the corner.
- 乔尔 - 我们可以每天来这吃早餐
- Joel... - We could eat here every day.
- 我知道 - 我们可以成为城里人
- I know. - We could be downtown people.
周围就是各种俱乐部 公园
Close to the clubs, the park.
- 你喜欢公园的 - 也爱滨江公园
- You love the park. - Riverside's a park, too.
我还以为你想做个时尚少妇
I thought you wanted to be a cool chick.
即使我和一个门卫
I can be a cool chick with a doorman
守着台老旧冰箱我也能做个时尚少妇 不是吗
and a Kelvinator Foodarama refrigerator, can't I?
当然 你可以的
Yes, you can.
我真的很喜欢那套公寓
I really love that apartment.
我从小在那长大
I grew up in that building.
离我父母还那么近
My parents are so close.
- 确实近 - 当我们有了孩子
- Very close. - When we have kids,
我们可以上楼把孩子扔给他们
we can just go upstairs, drop them off,
去市中心通宵做对夜猫子
go downtown, and be cool cats by night.
我们可以拥有这一切
We can have it all.
我都没办法拒绝你
I'm not gonna say no to you.
尤其是在我看到你能力之后
Not after I saw what you're capable of.
- 你爱我吗 乔尔 - 罗切斯特大概爱过
- You love me, Joel? - Rochester probably loved
他的第一任妻子 她后来疯了
that first wife of his, and then she went nuts
然后把房子烧了
and burned the house down.
你爱吗
Do you?
我爱
I do.
到卫生间来找我
Meet me in the bathroom.
- 什么 - 两分钟后
- What? - Two-minute head start.
你开玩笑吗 你还穿着结婚礼服啊
A-Are you kidding me? You're in a wedding dress.
请问 女士洗手间在哪儿
Excuse me. Where's the ladies'?
谢谢 计时开始
Thanks. Clock starts now.
你到底是谁啊
Who are you?
我还以为我娶了个乖女孩
I thought I married a nice girl.
你才没有
You did not.
♪ 背景音乐 Dance Only With Me
♪ 起舞吧起舞吧 ♪ ♪ Dance, dance ♪
♪ 只与我一人 ♪ ♪ Only with me... ♪
一个人吗
You alone?
是的
Yes.
♪ 爱情 爱情 ♪ ♪ Love, love ♪
洗手间故障
♪ 只爱我一人 ♪ ♪ Love only me ♪
♪ 直到我们甜蜜的 ♪ ♪ Till all our sweet ♪
♪ 乐曲 ♪ ♪ Music ♪
♪ 慢慢消散 ♪ ♪ Is gone. ♪
城市之勺餐厅 24小时营业
二
乔尔抛弃你了
Joel left you.
我知道 当时我在 你怎么知道的
I know. I was there. How do you know?
他现在就在我家
He's at my house right now.
什么
What?
- 伊莫 - 嘘
- Imo... - Shh.
- 我的胳膊 - 嘘嘘
- My arm. - Shh. Shh.
乔尔拎着个小巧的女士手提箱出现在我家
Joel showed up at our house with this tiny girl suitcase,
之后和阿奇去了书房
and he and Archie went into Archie's office
关上了门 我只听到了
and shut the door, and all I could hear was
“保龄球”和“熊猫” 你们因为保龄球吵架了吗
"bowling" and "pandas"... did you fight about bowling?
- 没啊 - 那熊猫呢
- No. - Was there a panda?
- 没有 - 那就不是熊猫了 但我记得有P
- No. -Well, maybe it wasn't pandas, but it had a "P."
乔尔是为了他的秘书离开我的
Joel left me for his secretary.
什么
What?
- 潘妮 潘 - 潘妮和熊猫的发音相似
- Penny Pann. - Pann like panda.
- 听着是像熊猫 - 天啊
- Pann like panda. - My God.
女士们 各就各位
Ladies, take your place.
- 他的秘书吗 - 他的智障秘书
- His secretary? - His idiot secretary.
- 就算不是智障也好不到哪里 - 还是会好一点
Wouldn't be better if she was smart. Actually it would.
各位 手臂举过头
Everyone, arms to the sky.
滚到底
Rag doll down.
抖起来
Shake it out.
秘书 也太没创意了
His secretary. How unoriginal.
他最近做的事都没什么创意
Unoriginality is kind of his thing lately.
摆上来
Rag doll up.
捡起你们的弹力绳
Grab your Lythe-lines.
总是那些女孩子
It's always those girls.
- 哪些女孩 - 那些文秘
- What girls? - Those shorthand girls.
那些上秘书专科学校学速记的女孩子
Girls who go to secretarial school and learn shorthand,
然后通过这个去接近我们的丈夫
and that gives them entre to our husbands.
一旦她们接近了我们的丈夫
And once they have entre to our husbands,
他们的魂就被勾走了
our husbands entre right into them.
文秘女孩
Shorthand girls.
我本来也有可能成为文秘的
I could have been a shorthand girl.
我也可能去做些秘书之类的工作
I could have gone out into the workforce with my shorthand,
但我没有 我结婚了
but I didn't... I got married.
我选对了路
I did it the right way.
- 有远见 - 那当然
- Longhand. - That's right.
最糟的是 我一点都没察觉到
The worst part is, I didn't suspect a thing.
我还以为我们是模范夫妻
I just thought we were a great couple.
我也这么认为
I did, too.
我一直跟阿奇说 “米琪和乔尔
I told Archie constantly, "Midge and Joel,
他们是模范夫妻”
they are a great couple."
捡起你的瓶子
Grab your bottles.
喂 别那么用力
Hey, stop working so hard.
- 为什么 - 你会变得和她们一样了
Why? -You're starting to look like them.
- 那些离过婚的 - 别忘了
- The divorcees? - Do not forget,
我们来健身是为了吃芝士蛋糕
we do this so we can eat cheesecake.
她们来健身是为了找到新男人
They do this because they need to find new men,
或者是为了死了验尸时没那么难看
or at least look trim for the coroner after they die alone.
那是玛莎 柯盖林吗
Is that Martha Kilgallin?
- 她什么时候跑角落去了 - 上周
- When did she join "the corner"? - Last week.
理查德带着手提箱和一堆酒
Richard went straight to a lawyer's office
径直去了律师事务所
with his suitcase and his portable bar,
就这样 三个变成了四个
and just like that, three became four.
现在是五个了
Now five.
除了我还有谁知道
Who knows besides me?
我父母 乔尔 阿奇
My parents. Joel, Archie.
我们不会说出去的
Well, we won't tell.
大家迟早会发现
People will find out, eventually.
我就应该直接告诉大家
I should just come out with it and tell everyone
然后这事就过去了
and get it over with.
好吧 我们理下思路
All right, let's think this through.
如果你告诉了人们 那至少
If you do tell people, then at least
你掌握了发言权
you could control the narrative.
懂我的意思吧
You know what I mean...
让自己占据有利处境
frame yourself in the best light.
处理得当的话 也许你只会后退几排
Done right, maybe you just get pushed back a row or two,
不会一直被扔在角落
not all the way into "the corner."
也许吧
Maybe.
或者你觉得乔尔还会回心转意
Unless you think Joel is coming back.
因为如果你觉得乔尔还会的话 就好办多了
'Cause if you think he's coming back, then it's better
那你就不用告诉大家 因为等他回心转意
you don't tell anybody, because then he'll be back,
就没人知道他还抛弃过你
and no one will have known he left.
但你如果你告诉了大家 然后又和好了
But if you tell them he left, and then he comes back,
你不过是个与出轨丈夫和好的弃妇
you'll still be the person that he left, only now he's back.
但大家一直会记得你被抛弃过
But they'll know that you were left,
即使之后你没有被抛弃
even though you aren't left now.
我都不知道这个屋里还有哪个角落
And I don't know what corner of the room
能容下这样的你了
you stand in to be that person.
好的 女士们 螃蟹步
All right, ladies, crab walk.
背景音乐 T'Aint What You Do
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it... ♪
- 嘿 乔尔 - 早安 托尼
- Hey, Joel. - Hey, morning, Tony.
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 这就是结果 ♪ ♪ That's what gets results ♪
♪ 你可以更努力 ♪ ♪ You can try hard ♪
♪ 别太当真了 ♪ ♪ Don't mean a thing ♪
♪ 轻松一点儿 ♪ ♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ 和我一起说 ♪ ♪ Please say it ♪
♪ 接着一起摇摆 ♪ ♪ Then your jive will swing ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ It ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的地点 ♪ ♪ It's the place that you do it ♪
♪ 这就是结果 ♪ ♪ That's what gets results ♪
莫伊舍
Moishe.
这有个手印 吉米
That's a handprint, Jimmy.
- 麦瑟尔先生 - 这里 就在夹克这里
- Mr. Maisel... -Right there, right on the jacket.
- 一个手印 不是我的 - 我知道
- A handprint. Not my handprint. - I know.
但我夹克现在成这样了
But it is my jacket, which is now ruined
因为这里 左手边
because right there, left hand,
- 很明显 - 我会查出
- clear as day. - I'll find out...
我要你找出这个该死的手印是谁弄的
I want you to find out whose goddamn handprint that is,
然后带过来见我 明白了吗 好吗 好的
and you bring him to me. Yes? Good? Great.
干的好 女士们
Good work, ladies.
- 保持下去 - 爸
- Keep 'em hum, hum, humming along. - Pop?
我就爱听这机器运转的声音
Love to hear the sound of the machines.
- 你看起来没病啊 - 爸
- You don't look sick. - Pop?
康复了
Miraculous recovery?
现代科学的又一大奇迹吗
Modern science score another knockout?
- 我没病 - 是吗
- I'm not sick. - That's not what I heard.
可我听说你病了 钉住
I heard you were sick. Pin.
安静
Quiet.
亲家母一小时前打电话给我
Mother-in-law called an hour ago,
说家里每个人都病了 每个人
said everyone in the family is sick. Everyone.
你他妈在干嘛
What the hell are you doing?
我说的是系脖 你这是吊带
I said halter. That's a sweetheart.
- 系脖懂吗 - 对不起 麦瑟尔先生
- Halter! Halter! Halter! - Sorry, Mr. Maisel.
你岳母说所有家人都病了
Your mother-in-law called and said the whole family is so ill
连开斋日都取消了
that break fast is canceled.
病到连这么神圣的日子都取消了
So ill, the holiest of holy days cannot happen.
要是真这么神圣 那工厂怎么还开工啊
If it's so holy, why do you keep the factory open?
- 你是想要一巴掌吧 - 我就说说
- You want a smack in the face? - I'm just saying.
这些人以此为生
Those people get paid by the piece.
你想他们一天不能工作吗
You want to take a day's work away from them?
上帝会想看他们饿肚子吗
God wants them to go hungry
- 就因为我不开张 - 好了
- because I shut my doors? - Fine.
这有一半的人是异教徒
Half of those people out there are gentiles.
你去和他们解释什么是赎罪日吧
You go explain Yom Kippur to a gentile.
我们很开心 虽然我们饿着肚子
"We're happy, but we're starving.
这是新的一年 但我们身负罪恶
It's New Year's, but we're guilty."
听着像是无信仰者说的话 爸
Sounding like a nonbeliever, Pop.
不 我可不是无信仰者 我是个信徒
No, I'm not a nonbeliever. I am a believer.
我坚信我所拥有的一切都是因为“他”
I believe that everything I have is because of Him.
是他赐予我这一切
And these, which he gave me.
- 是亚伯对吧 - 什么
- It's Abe, right? - What?
- 是亚伯取消了晚餐 - 不是
- Abe canceled dinner? - No.
- 亚伯是个无信仰者吗 - 亚伯没有取消晚餐
- Abe's a nonbeliever? - Abe did not cancel dinner.
那个笨蛋取消了晚餐
That schmuck cancels the dinner.
- 多神圣的晚餐啊 他取消了 - 不是亚伯
- A holy dinner, he cancels. - It's not Abe.
你母亲很难过 亚伯知道吗
Your mother's very upset. Does Abe know that?
- 不是亚伯 - 救赎日
- It's not Abe. - Yom Kippur
对你母亲而言非常重要
is a very big deal for your mother.
有面食 她看着那些孩子
There's kugel, she sees the kids.
- 是的 我知道 - 你觉得这种日子天天有的吗
Yeah, I know. -You think that happens every day?
你觉得每天都能看到孩子们吃面吗
You think every day there's kugel and kids?
- 你能不能 - 有人在哭
- If you'd just... - Ooh, there was crying.
哭得那么伤心
So much crying.
哭了有四五十分钟
A good 40 to 50 minutes of crying.
最后我说 “雪莉 如果亚伯不想
And finally, I said, "Shirley, if Abe doesn't
我们出现在他的家里 我们要怎么办”
want us at his house, what are we gonna do?!"
爸 求你别说了
Pop! Please, just stop talking.
我不说了
I'm not talking.
你也不说了
You're not talking, either.
有时候安静更让人舒适
Quiet's nice sometimes.
我有话和你说
I have to tell you something.
说吧
Okay.
米琪和我分手了
Midge and I are splitting up.
这就是为什么晚餐取消了
That's why dinner was canceled.
我们昨晚分手了
We split up... last night.
她叫什么
What's her name?
- 谁 - 那个女孩
- Who? - The girl.
- 不是 - 戴克西 迪克西
- No, no, no, no. - Trixie, Dixie...
- 不是那么回事 - 不是吗
- It's not like that. - No?
不是 是我们不爱了
No! No. It didn't work.
不是谁的错
It's nobody's fault.
自然而然地发生了 好吗
Sometimes these things happen, okay?
出于好意 人们随着成长就彼此分开了
People with the best of intentions just grow apart.
仅此而已 就想让你知道这点
That's all. Just wanted you to know.
知道你和米琪分手了吗
That you and Midge split up?
- 是的 - 好的 我很遗憾
- Yes. - Okay. Sorry to hear it.
我一直很喜欢米琪
I always liked Midge.
不是对的人 是吗
Just not the one?
打电话告诉你母亲这件事太残忍了
That's gonna be a hell of a phone call to your mother.
等我回家我会打给她的
I'll do it when I get home.
回家 好的 你回家后打电话给你母亲
Home? Okay. You'll call your mother when you get home
让她知道你的婚姻完蛋了
and let her know your marriage is over.
那太棒了 嘿
That'll be terrific. Hey!
别打给你妈妈了 我会告诉她的
Don't bother calling your mother. I'll tell her.
你拖在地上的那卷粉色薄纱
That roll of pink tulle you're dragging across the ground...
是法国的
it's French.
你知道还有什么是法国的吗 断头台
Do you know what else is French? The guillotine!
一分钟不看着
Turn your back for one minute,
就都变成乡下白痴
everybody is the village idiot.
好吧 至少亚伯会很开心
Well, at least Abe's gonna be happy.
- 你在说什么 - 他从来都没看上你
- What are you talking about? - He never thought much of you.
-不可能 - 不可能吗
- That's not true. - No?
好吧 我错了
Okay. My mistake.
放下
Put it down!
放 让我看看你的手
Put it... Let me see your hand.
举起左手 马上
Up in the air... left hand right now!
早上好 教授
Morning, Professor.
早上好 维斯曼教授
Good morning, Professor Weissman.
数学系
就是这样
There it is.
好好研究下
Study it.
现在 这个矩阵是由两个行向量组成
Now, this matrix is composed of two row vectors...
V1和V2 但只有一个秩
v-one and v-two, but the rank is only one.
有人能告诉我为什么吗
Can anyone tell me why?
不 不
No. No.
不 不 杜鲁门
No. No. Truman?
因为一旦转换成梯阵式
Because once it's reduced to echelon form,
就只有一个独立的向量
there's only one independent vector.
答对了 现在有人能告诉我这个矩阵的零向量吗
Correct. Now, can anyone tell me the nullity of this matrix?
不 不 不 不
No. No. No. No.
- 杜鲁门 - 又是他
- Truman? - Unbelievable.
抱歉 你有什么要说的吗
I'm sorry. Do you have something to say?
你从来不叫我 也不叫别人
You never call on me. You never call on anyone.
你只会抽杜鲁门
You only ever call on Truman.
杜鲁门知道答案
Truman knows the answers.
杜鲁门总是知道答案
Truman always knows the answers.
是的 但是我们也能知道答案
Yes, but we could know the answers.
真的吗 你知道吗
Really? Did you?
不知道
No.
- 你知道答案吗 - 不知道
- Did you know the answer? - No.
不知道 你知道答案吗
No? Did you know the answer?
- 不知道 - 不知道
- No. - No.
所以你们没人知道答案
So none of you knew the answer.
- 没有 - 除了杜鲁门
- No. - But Truman.
但是我们本可以知道答案 这才是重点
But we could have known the answer. That's the point.
本可以
Could have?
本可以 查理
Could have. Charlie...
- 兰斯 - 本可以 没意义
- Lance. - Could have doesn't count.
也许 没意义
Maybe doesn't count.
我猜的 也没意义
"I took a shot" doesn't count.
因为这个房间是一个
Because this room is a sanctuary
远离外面世界变数的圣所
from the variables in the outside world.
在这里 我们和绝对打交道
In this room, we deal with absolutes.
在我的课上
Period.
在这个房间里
In this room...
这才是重要的
this is what counts.
这两个向量是共线的
These two vectors are collinear.
它们在一条线上
They go... together.
并且它们永远都会在一条线上
And they will always go together.
这是神圣的数学誓言
This is the solemn vow made by mathematics.
在这里 V2永远不会打破这个誓言
In this room, v-two is never going to break that vow
并且决定它不再需要其它的向量
and decide that it doesn't need the other vector anymore,
决定了它会逃跑并变成线性独立
that it's gonna run off and become linearly independent.
V2永远不会某天下班回到家
V-two is never going to come home from work one day
告诉V1 你知道吗
and tell v-one, "You know what?"
我觉得我需要自己的向量空间
"I think I need my own vector space.
再见
See ya."
然后V1的爸爸不得不走进来告诉她 不
And then v-one's dad has to come in and tell her, "No",
你不能让V2那么做
"you can't let v-two do that.
你 你要让V2回来
You-you got to go get v-two back,"
一个暂时的解决方案
an impermanent solution,
因为V1的父亲不会永远在她身边
because v-one's dad is not gonna be around forever
去解决V1所有的问题
to solve all of v-one's problems.
记下来
Write that down.
背景音乐 ♫ American Beauty Rose
♪ 雏菊很迷人 鸢尾很甜美 ♪ ♪ Daisy is darling, Iris is sweet ♪
♪ 百合很可爱 花对所有的 ♪ ♪ Lily is lovely, Blossom's a treat ♪
♪ 甜心都是一种享受 ♪ ♪ Of all the sweethearts ♪
♪ 每个男人都会遇到所爱 ♪ ♪ A guy could meet ♪
♪ 我最终选了漂亮的美国玫瑰 ♪ ♪ Well, I finally chose an American beauty rose ♪
♪ 月桂会拥抱你 ♪ ♪ Laurel will hug you ♪
♪ 兰花是神圣的 ♪ ♪ Orchid's divine ♪
♪ 我还是选了一朵漂亮的美国玫瑰 ♪ ♪ Still I finally chose an American beauty rose. ♪
就这样 乔尔在半夜离开了
And just like that, Joel left, in the middle of the night,
- 像一个飞贼 - 天呐 太糟糕了
- like a cat burglar. - God, that's terrible.
我很惊讶 他看起来
I'm so surprised. He seemed
很爱米琪 今天要加糖吗
so crazy about Midge. You want sugar today?
不用 要不加一块
No. Maybe a lump.
- 两块 - 我放了三块
- Two lumps. - I put in three.
现在你压力挺大的
It's a stressful time.
喝吧
Drink.
可怜的米里亚姆怎么样了
How is poor Miriam?
谁能和她谈谈心呢
Who can tell with her?
你知道吗 我可能察觉到了不对劲
You know, maybe I sensed something.
但上周 我还叫她再要个孩子
But just last week, I told her to get pregnant again.
太烫了
Too hot.
我跟她说 30岁之前要3个孩子 是我的错
I told her, "Three before 30." That was my mistake.
生米里亚姆和诺亚之间我隔太久了
I waited too long between Miriam and Noah.
- 我只能要两个了 - 亲爱的 先喝茶吧
- I could only fit in two. - You need to drink the tea, honey.
但是米里亚姆就是米里亚姆
But Miriam is Miriam.
她想到处游玩
She wanted to play and run around
像费里尼电影里一样穿黑衣服
dressed in black like a FellinI film.
意大利电影导演 非理性主义和狂欢复调诗学的代表
现在不烫了
It's fine now.
她冰箱里有啤酒
There's beer in her refrigerator.
- 天呐 - 乔尔觉得她轻浮
- Dear. - Joel thinks she's frivolous.
- 所以他抛弃了她 - 她一直在做她自己
- That's why he left. - She's always been her own girl.
你还记得
Do you remember when
她想学开车那会儿吗
she wanted to learn to drive?
因为她发现了粉色的驾驶手套
Because she found pink driving gloves.
米琪的所有想法都是由配饰激发的
Everything with Midge starts with an accessory.
亚伯怎么说的
How's Abe taking all this?
亚伯今天早上起床就去上班了
Abe got up this morning and went to work.
就算世界要毁灭 他还是会起床去上班
The world could be ending, and he'd get up and go to work.
如果哥伦比亚大学沉入了海里
And if Columbia University fell into the ocean,
他就会在家里工作
he'd work from home.
- 给你 - 拉比知道吗
- Here. - Does the rabbi know?
- 什么 不 天啊 不知道 - 很好
- What? No. God, no. - Good.
- 你能想象吗 - 我不想
- Can you imagine? - I don't want to.
茶叶占卜
我们都生病了 我这么告诉他的
We're all sick. That's what he knows.
非常 非常严重 你今天没见过我
Very, very sick. You did not see me today.
我能跟谁说啊 没人 这儿就我一个
Who am I talking to? No one. I'm alone here.
好的 我们来看看这个
Okay, let's take a look at this.
我对不起她 在某种程度上
I failed her. I failed her somehow.
我家族的每个人都结婚了
My whole family, everyone's married.
亚伯家族的每个人也都结婚了
Abe's family, everyone's married.
我应该送她去巴黎的 我妈妈就送我去了巴黎
I should've sent her to Paris. My mother sent me to Paris.
巴黎很棒 但是米琪没去是好事
Paris is wonderful, but it's good Midge didn't go.
那对她来说很危险
There was danger for her there.
- 太多诱惑了 - 是的
- Too much bread. - Yes.
好的 来看看
Okay, let's see.
我只需要知道是不是
I just need to know whether or not
真的要分开
this separation is actually going to happen.
- 我看见了一个铁锤 - 铁锤是好事吗
- I see a hammer. - Is a hammer good?
你要是想挂一幅画它是不错
It is if you want to hang a picture.
拜托 迪娜
Please, Drina...
铁锤象征胜利 你会胜利的
A hammer means triumph. You will triumph.
这些茶叶说整件事将以和平和幸福告终
And the leaves say this journey will end in peace and happiness.
胜利 和平和幸福 你确定吗
Triumph? Peace and happiness? You're sure?
- 你怀疑茶叶吗 - 不 从不
- You're doubting the leaves? - No. Never.
好吧 你还是很担心 迪娜看出来了
Okay, you're still nervous. Drina knows this.
我告诉你怎么做
I'll tell you what.
我给你一个符咒 把这个
I'll throw in a charm. Put this
在米里亚姆的枕头底下放一周
under Miriam's pillow for a week.
它会带来好运
It'll help the luck stick.
我的天 这是什么味道
My God, what is that smell?
是单宁根 就告诉米里亚姆
Tannis root. Just tell Miriam
墙里有老鼠死了什么的
a rat died in the wall or something.
- 谢谢你 迪娜 - 别担心
- Thank you, Drina. - Don't worry.
米里亚姆会振作起来的
Miriam will land on her feet.
相信我
Take it from me.
你今天用支票付款吗
Are you paying by check today?
麦瑟尔夫人 稍等
Hey, Mrs. Maisel! Hold on a sec!
- 怎么了 - 有人来这找你
- What's wrong? - Some guy showed up here looking for you.
我叫他在这等 但是他强行冲了进去
I asked him to wait down here, but he pushed right past.
- 差点咬到我 - 不
- Almost bit me. - No.
- 我现在就报警 - 别报警
- Hey, I'm calling the cops right now. - Don't call the cops.
没什么大事
Everything's fine!
- 早上好 麦瑟尔夫人 - 早上好
- Good morning, Mrs. Maisel. - Good morning.
对不起
I'm sorry.
- 你在跟我开玩笑吗 - 我知道
- Are you fucking kidding me? - I know.
- 我知道 - 九点半
- I know. - 9:30.
我早上九点半起床
I got up at 9:30. In the morning.
你知道我上一次九点半起床是什么时候吗
You know the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning?
是我整夜没睡
It was the last time I stayed out all night
然后早上九点半到家
and got home at 9:30 in the morning.
那是我上一次早上九点半起床
That is the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning.
抱歉 昨晚太难熬了
I'm sorry. It was a rough night.
是你先找上我的 好吗
Hey, you came to me, okay?
你知道 我 我没让你去敲我的门
You know, I-I didn't ask you to bang on my door.
我连我住哪儿都没告诉你
I didn't even tell you where my door was.
你找到了我的地址
You figured out where it was
然后你跑去我家 然后你自己主动
and then you came there and then you banged on it
- 敲的门 - 我忘了
- of your own free will. - I forgot.
感觉好多了
Much better.
你忘了真是太好了
It is so much better that you just forgot.
你知道吗 我就怕你还记得
You know, my fear was that you remembered
然后选择不见我
and chose not to meet me.
但是现在我知道 我甚至没有进入
But now that I know I literally didn't even enter into y...
我们在哪儿 这是什么地方 凡尔赛宫吗
Wh-Where the hell are we? What is this, fucking Versailles?
这是我的公寓
It's my apartment.
你的餐桌可以坐下30个人
Your table is set for 30.
谁会准备30套餐具
Who has cutlery for 30?
天呐 这是什么 飞机跑道吗
Jesus Christ, what is this, a landing strip?
你的飞机在哪儿 在浴室吗
Where is your airplane, in the bathroom?
我不知道你来头这么大
I had no idea you were such an important person.
我要是知道英国女王放了我鸽子
If I had realized that the queen of England had stood me up,
我就理解了 但是我以为
I would have understood. But I just thought
你只是某个需要我帮助的醉酒家庭主妇
you were some drunk housewife who needed my help.
我不知道你和查理曼大帝是亲戚
I had no idea you were related to fucking Charlemagne.
因为如果凯瑟琳大帝出现在我面前说
'Cause if Catherine the Great had shown up and said,
我们十点见吧 我也许就不会期待
"Hey, let's meet at 10:00," I probably wouldn't have expected
她的出现 但是你要告诉别人你是谁
her to show up either. But you have to tell people who you are.
因为他们会认为
'Cause if all they have to go on is the fact
是你预约见面又忘记了这回事
that you make appointments and then forget about them,
他们会觉得你是一个目中无人的混蛋
they're just gonna think you're a stuck-up twat.
这是一个很容易犯的错误
It's an easy mistake to make.
我差点也犯了同样的错
I almost made that same mistake.
但刚才我看见你的餐厅被布置成议会桌的样子
But then I saw your dining room was set for Parliament...
这是 这是什么
What the... What is this,
一个备用的地方以防你们厌烦了另外一个吗
a backup place in case you get bored with the other one?
这里到底什么情况怎么回事
What the hell is going on here?
- 他们都已经吃过了 米里亚姆小姐 - 谢谢 塞尔达
- They've already eaten, Miss Miriam. - Thank you, Zelda.
嘿 塞尔达 你去过楼下的公寓吗
Hey, Zelda, have you seen the place downstairs?
- 会让你大开眼界的 - 你好 女士
- It will blow your mind. - Hi, lady.
什么 我们要去哪儿
What? Where are we going?
为什么我要牵着这孩子
Why am I touching this child?
- 为什么这孩子牵着我 - 女士好
- Why is this child touching me? - Hi, lady.
为什么这孩子手上黏糊糊的 为什么你的手这么黏
Why is his hand sticky? Why is your hand sticky?
他的手摸了什么 为什么现在这么黏
Where has his hand been that it is now currently very sticky?
- 女士好 - 为什么我还牵着这孩子
- Hi, lady. - Why am I still holding this child?
他找不到回家的路了吗
He can't find his way home from here?
我妈妈把我忘在休战纪念日游行的时候
I made it home just fine when my mother forgot me
我也顺利找回家了
at the Armistice Day Parade.
一个独臂老兵给了我五分硬币
An old soldier with one arm gave me a nickel
我自己坐车回家了 不用谢
and I took the bus home. You're welcome!
你孩子真懂礼貌 教得真好
Real polite kid you got there. Good job.
你要点冰茶吗
Would you like some iced tea?
我要点冰茶吗
Do I want some iced tea?
我想想 去你的
Let me think. Fuck you.
不 我不要什么冰茶
No, I do not want any iced tea.
首先 你放我鸽子
First, you stand me up.
其次你带我在白金汉宫里进行巴丹死亡行军
Then you Bataan Death March me through Buckingham Palace.
你让我牵了你孩子的脏手
You make me hold your kid's filthy hand,
这意味着我现在可能携带了14种不同的霍乱病毒
which means I probably got 14 different kinds of cholera right now.
快坐 我拿点冰茶来
Sit down. I'll get us some iced tea.
坐哪儿 这儿吗 什么 坐这儿 你开玩笑吗
Sit where? Here? What, on this? Are you kidding me?
我才不要坐这儿
I'm not sitting in here.
这不是用来坐的家具
This is not furniture for sitting!
这些是当你死了个有钱叔叔时
This is furniture you get appraised
被用来低价估卖的家具
when a rich uncle dies.
你真的应该用塑料
You really should put plastic
- 把这些都包起来 - 没关系的
- over all of this. - It's fine.
那两个真是你孩子吗
Are those two really your children
还是我们非法闯入绑架的孩子
or did we just break in and kidnap a couple kids?
- 他们当然是我的 - 只是确认下
- Of course they're mine. - Well, just making sure.
毕竟在和有前科的人结交
I mean, when you fraternize with an ex-con...
你知道我必须找个律师上法庭吗
Hey, did you know that I have to get a lawyer and go to court?
- 是啊 - 即使我
- Yes. - Even though I got
在被捕当晚就被保释了
bailed out on the night I got arrested.
这有什么关系吗
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
- 这不算个事吗 - 当然不算
- So it's not a thing? - No, it's not a thing.
为什么我觉得这是个事呢
Why do I have it in my head that it's a thing?
不知道 可能是因为皇室近亲交配
I don't know, lady. Maybe it's all that royal inbreeding.
这个公寓没那么奢华
This is not that fancy of an apartment.
这太荒谬了 整个逮捕事件
It's just ridiculous. That whole getting arrested thing.
就因为我说了几句脏话
So I said some bad words.
你可是在大庭广众之下坦胸露乳了
Well, and you flashed the room.
- 什么 - 你在大庭广众之下坦胸露乳了
- What? - You flashed the room.
你把你的上衣脱了
You pulled your top down.
- 我没有 - 你有
- I did not. - You did, too.
你触及了底线他们就进来了
You hit a switch and out they came.
- 太荒唐了 - 开饭了 孩子们
- That's ridiculous. - "Soup's on, boys!"
如果我真做了 我一定会记得
If I did that, I'd remember.
- 要蛋糕吗 - 不 我不想吃蛋糕
- Cake? - No, I do not want cake.
你知道吗 我想知道我在干嘛
You know what, I would like to know what I am doing...
喔
Wow.
这个蛋糕 很可爱
That-that is an adorable cake.
我对今天的事很抱歉
I'm sorry about today.
真的很抱歉
I really am.
好吧
Okay.
让我们忘掉这个早上 好吗
Let's just forget about this morning, okay?
我现在在这儿 我们可以现在开始
I'm here. We can start now.
你有纸笔吗
You have any paper? Pen?
或者羊皮纸和羽毛笔
Maybe parchment and a quill?
- 为什么 - 这样我可以写点东西给你
- Why? - So I can write down some stuff for you
- 以用作舞台表演 - 不 不要
- to talk about onstage. - No, no, no.
这样 我对早上的事很抱歉
Look, I'm-I'm sorry about this morning,
但昨天你见到的那个女人
but that woman last night,
她不是我
she was not me.
这才是我 我才是我
This is me. I am me.
我将是那个站在
I'm the woman who's gonna be standing
玛莎·基尔盖伦身旁 绝望且像头猪
in the corner next to Martha Kilgallin,
- 一样流汗的女人 - 基尔盖伦
- desperate and sweating like a pig. - There are two Ls
- 有两个Ls吗 - 我将是那个
- in "Kilgallin"? - I'm the woman who's gonna get elbowed
在肉店被推开的女人 这样一来其他女人
out of the way at the butcher shop so that other women
就能买到最好的羊肉 那些为丈夫
can get the best lamb chops. Other women who have husbands
买菜的女人 没人会在意你给自己买的羊排
to shop for. Nobody cares if you're ordering steak for one.
这就是我 这就是真正的我
That's me. That's the real me we're dealing with.
而她并不有趣 她既悲伤又窘迫
And she's not fun. She's sad and embarrassed
并且 你在干嘛
and... What are you doing?
我在记笔记 这些句子太好了
I'm making notes. This is great stuff.
这些并不是什么好句子
This is not great stuff.
这是我分崩离析的生活
This is my life falling apart.
我丈夫抛弃了我 你能理解吗
My husband left me. Do you understand that?
他抛弃了我 抛弃了我的孩子 你见过我的孩子了
He left me, left my children. You've met my children.
见到了 其中一个还传染了我黑鼠疫
I did. One of 'em gave me bubonic plague.
那是果冻 我天 孩子手上
It was jelly, goddamn it. Children get jelly
- 沾了果冻 - 好 放松
- on their hands. - Okay. Relax.
那个在俱乐部出现又说了疯话的女人
The woman who showed up at that club and said those crazy things
只是处于一种状态
was in a state.
一种疯狂的情绪中
A manic emotional state.
扯淡 你享受其中
Bullshit. You loved it.
是的 有一瞬间我很开心 行了吧
Yes! For a moment it-it was glorious, okay?
有一瞬间 我的那些言行
F-For one moment, I said and did things
我之前都没说过也没做过
that I've never done or said before.
但现在我完全记不清了
But-but that is all a complete blur to me now.
我不知道我怎么做到的
I don't know how I got there.
我不知道要怎样重新做到
I wouldn't know how to get there again.
而我也不想尝试 你明白吗
And I'm not gonna try. Do you understand?
嗯
Yeah.
我明白
I understand.
让我从大老远跑到上西区
Made me come all the way to the Upper West Side.
甚至不是为了看医生
Didn't even have a doctor's appointment.
等等
Wait.
保释的钱
For the bail.
再见
See ya.
不要太多肥肉 他就吃那么多
Not too many fatty pieces. It's all he'll eat.
好的 维斯曼夫人
Yes, Mrs. Weissman.
剩的可以留着明天吃
The rest can be leftovers for tomorrow.
亚伯 晚餐上桌了
Abe! Dinner's on the table!
- 喂 - 罗斯
- Hello? - Rosie?
天啊 罗斯 是你吗
My God, Rosie, is that you?
对 是我 雪莉
Yes, it's me, Shirley.
罗斯 我要疯了
Rosie, I'm beside myself.
我感觉一栋房子刚从我头顶坍塌了
I feel like a building just fell on my head.
一个街区的 一整个街区的房子
A block. A whole block.
我觉得34层刚刚从6层和7层间
I feel like 34th between Sixth and Seventh
砸落在我头上
just fell right on my head.
我以为晚饭上桌了
I thought dinner was on the table.
冷静 你听起来喘不过气
Calm down. You sound winded.
我看见胡萝卜 土豆
I see carrots, potatoes...
色拉在桌上
Hey, the salad's on the table.
- 我在和雪莉说话 - 雪莉
- I'm talking to Shirley. - Shirley?
正好 让她别挂
Great. Tell her to hang on.
我想接上扬声器
I want to put her on speakerphone.
雪莉 你能稍等一会儿吗
Shirley, will you hold on just one minute?
你不是要挂电话吧
You're not hanging up on me, are you?
不会 我马上回来
No, I'll be right back.
人们都认为我是个坚强的人 但我不是
People think I'm such a strong person, but I'm not.
快 在她用电话线自缢前
Hurry, before she hangs herself with the phone cord.
好的 好了
Okay. And... go.
雪莉 你还在听吗
Shirley, are you still there?
- 快不行了 - 好
- Barely. - Okay, good.
继续 你刚说
Go ahead. You were saying?
我刚说我的心碎了
I was saying my heart is broken.
- 太好了 - 什么
- Excellent. - What?
没什么 继续 雪莉
Nothing. Go ahead, Shirley.
我没有去赎罪日晚餐
I didn't get to have my Yom Kippur dinner.
我的心被掏空了
It was ripped out from under me.
就像我们去博卡时看到的那个魔术师
Just like when we went to Boca and we saw this magician
Orange 字幕组
原创翻译 双语字幕
他从一张摆好东西的桌上
and he ripped a tablecloth out
扯下了桌布
from under a completely set table.
只是换成我 所有的东西都落在了地板上
Only in my case, everything falls to the floor
摔了个粉碎
and smashes into a million pieces.
让她声音大点
Tell her to speak up a little.
雪莉 亲爱的 你能大点声吗
Shirley, dear, could you speak up?
一整年里我都在期待那段晚餐
I look forward to that dinner all year!
但后来我听说你患了严重的流感
But then I heard you all had such a terrible flu.
我都快窒息了 流感是很严重的
My heart stopped. I mean, the flu is very serious.
人们因流感而亡 但莫伊舍告诉我
People die from the flu. But when Moishe told me
你并不是真得了流感 我就放心了
you didn't actually have the flu, I was so relieved.
感谢上帝 我不用担心这个了
"Thank God, I don't have to worry about that."
但后来他说孩子们分手了
But then he said the kids split up,
突然我就希望所有人都患了流感
and suddenly I just wished everybody had the flu.
- 分手 - 现在我还有什么
- Split up? - Now what do I have?
没有赎罪日
No Yom Kippur.
没有儿媳妇
No daughter-in-law.
没有孙子孙女
No grandchildren.
他们永远都是你的孙子孙女
You'll always have the grandchildren.
当然 是的 只是概念上的 但
Well, sure, yes, as a concept, but...
雪莉 你什么时候听说孩子们分手了
Shirley, when did you hear the kids were breaking up?
- 刚刚 - 你确定吗
- Just now. - You're sure?
确定 乔尔下午见了莫伊舍 之后
Yes. Joel came to see Moishe this afternoon and...
等等 是谁 我在和谁说话
Wait, who is this? Who am I talking to?
是亚伯 雪莉 现在尽量冷静
That was Abe, Shirley. Now, try and calm down.
我保证你会再见到孙子孙女的
I promise you'll see the grandchildren again.
什么时候 什么时候能再见到他们
When? When am I gonna see them again?
下个赎罪日 我多大年纪了 才20吗
Next Yom Kippur? What am I, 20?
也许一小时后我就死了
I could be dead in an hour!
我听说最近蔓延着严重的流感
I hear there's a terrible flu going around.
不 流感不是真的 雪莉 流感只是个借口
No, the flu wasn't real, Shirley. The flu was an excuse.
现在人们回避家人都需要找借口了吗
Now people need an excuse not to see family?
世界成什么样了
What a world.
她没去找他 我让米里亚姆去找他的
She didn't go to him. I told Miriam to go to him
- 但她没去 - 亚伯 亚伯
- and she didn't go to him. - Abe, Abe...
- 谁 - 没事 雪莉 我在
- Who? - Nothing, Shirley, I'm here.
我只希望我们能团聚
I just wish we could all be together
只一次就好
just one more time.
共享一次晚餐
One dinner.
我理解 雪莉
I know, Shirley.
一次晚餐
One dinner.
让我们能庆贺新年
So we can celebrate the new year.
让我能再见到我的孙子孙女
So I can see my grandchildren again.
让我们能 再成为一家人
So we can... be a family.
我明白你的意思 雪莉 现在我先挂了
I hear you, Shirley. Now let me let you go.
我保证会和米里亚姆谈谈 我们之后再聊
I promise I will speak to Miriam and then we'll talk later.
我现在就和她说 拜 罗斯
I'm gonna try her now. Bye, Rose.
不 雪莉
No... Shirley.
雪莉
Sh-Shirley!
塞尔达 快开门
Zelda! Open the door!
快开门
Open the door!
不 我保 没有 我保证
No, I pr... I-I am not. I promise you. -
不 对
No, yeah,
那不是真的 雪莉
Well, that's not true, Shirley.
我保证 你死前一定能见到孩子们
I promise you'll see the children before you die.
去他的
Damn it.
对 当然 他们爱你
Yes, of cour... Yes, they love you.
他们也很想你 对 我非常非常肯定
And they miss you. Yes, I'm-I'm very, very sure.
对 我确定
Yes. Yes, I'm sure.
好
Okay.
当然
Of course.
我 我完全理解
I, I-I understand completely.
周四的晚餐会如期
Thursday dinner will be fine.
对 我保证
Yes, I promise.
所有人都会来 好的
Everybody will be there. Okay.
嗯嗯 好的 拜拜 雪莉
All right. Yes. A ah, okay. Bye-bye, Shirley.
她脑子都装的是些什么
What a terrible place the inside of her head must be.
我本来想提醒你
I tried to warn you.
但你的号码里有太多9
You have so many nines in your number.
- 星期四晚上吗 - 是的
- Thursday night? - Thursday night.
我可以帮你推掉
Well, I can get you out of it.
真的吗 怎么推
Really? How?
我不知道 乔尔呢
I don't know. And Joel?
- 他也要来 - 要我打电话通知他吗
- He is expected. - Should I call him for you?
你以为雪莉还没告诉他吗
You really think Shirley hasn't gotten to him already?
你说得对
You're right.
没关系
It'll be fine.
我终归是要见他的
I'll have to see him eventually.
毕竟 我们还有孩子
I mean, we have the children.
我们得成熟地处理这件事
We'll just... have to be adults.
你穿什么
And what are you gonna wear?
- 问这个干嘛 - 穿你的那条红裙子
- Why? - Wear your red dress.
那是晚宴服
That's an evening dress.
这就是晚宴啊
It's dinner. That's evening.
- 妈 - 如果你要见乔尔
- Mama... - If you have to see Joel,
那他也要见你 如果他要见你
then he has to see you, and if he has to see you,
你就要美得让他后悔莫及
he should see what he's missing.
那不是这个晚餐的本意
That is not what this dinner's for.
你现在是单身女人
You're a single woman now.
参加晚宴就是为了吸引人的眼球
That's what every dinner's for.
- 早 麦瑟尔先生 - 早 鲁埃拉
- Morning, Mr. Maisel. - Morning, Louella.
杰克 中午之前我会把提案交到你的桌子上
Jack, I will have that proposal on your desk by lunch,
我保证
I promise.
早 麦瑟尔先生
Good morning, Mr. Maisel.
潘恩小姐请病假了吗
Did Miss Pann call in sick?
潘恩小姐吗 没有
Miss Pann? No.
我是你的新助理 莫斯科维兹夫人
I'm your new girl, Mrs. Moskowitz.
- 我的 - 讲个小故事
- My... - Funny little story:
第一次见面的时候 你还是个小屁孩
I met you when you were an itty-bitty boy.
一晃眼 我都在这儿工作这么长时间了
That's how long I've been working here.
你爸爸以前会带你来看你的叔叔
Your father used to bring you here to visit your uncle
你穿着绿色的小裤衩到处跑
and you'd run around in those little green pants.
没错 抱歉 谁让你来这里的
Yeah, I'm sorry, who assigned you to this desk?
人事部的约翰 米克斯
John Meeks in Personnel.
啊 你以前可会玩溜溜球了
Aw, you were so good on the yo-yo.
你现在还玩吗
Are you still good on the yo-yo?
我不知道
I don't know.
卡罗尔 莫斯科维兹
Carol Moskowitz
是公司里最好的助理之一
is one of the best secretaries we have here.
打字快 总是笑眯眯的
Good typist, always has a smile for you,
而且还泡得一手好咖啡
plus, she makes a terrific cup of coffee.
鉴于你从小她就认识你
We just thought this would be a good fit,
我们觉得 她是做你助理的绝佳人选
seeing as how she knew you when you were a boy.
所以 你们就让潘妮走了 把她炒了
So, that's it? Penny's gone? Fired?
她没被炒 我们只是
She is not fired, we simply
把她调到了财务部
moved her to the billing department.
你们只是调动了 你知道的
You simply moved... You know...
我是这里的副会长 约翰
I'm a vice president here, John.
你们应该征询我的意见
I should've been consulted.
谁做我的助理
Have a say over who my secretary is.
或者我的助理什么时候被调去财务部 总得问问我吧
Or when she's been moved to the billing department!
抱歉 乔尔 不是我决定的
Sorry, Joel. Out of my hands.
这是上面的意思
This came from the top.
- 来势汹汹啊 - 别插手我的事
- That's some entrance. - Stay out of my life.
啊哈 我猜对了
Aha! I was right.
- 我没开玩笑 - 开始我还不确定
- I mean it. - I wasn't sure at first.
听到那个名字 潘妮 潘恩 我就想
I heard that name, Penny Pann, and I thought,
这名字也太蠢了吧
"Well, that's a stupid name,"
我猜就是她了 果然被我猜中了
but I took a shot and I was right.
- 这是我的工作 - 猜对的感觉真好
- That is my job. - I love being right.
这是我的工作 我的办公室
My job, my office!
我知道 你的工作和办公室都是我给的
I know, I got you that job and that office.
- 现在不是在说这 - 你本来该在这里
- That's beside the... - You were supposed to work
和我一起工作 但是你不愿意
here, with me, but you didn't want to.
这里的工作太累了
Work was too hard here.
- 会把你的衣服弄脏 - 你知道不是因为这个
- Might get your suit dirty. - That's not why and you know it.
我伤心吗 肯定的 但你他妈的终究是我儿子
Was I hurt? Sure. But fuck me, you're my son.
所以 我打电话给你叔叔请他给你份工作 一份体面的工作
So, I call my brother, I say give him a job, a good job,
不要库房里的活 也不要做小职员
not a bullshit job in a storeroom or as a clerk.
还不能是端茶送水 跑腿打杂的小厮
No getting bagels, no running errands like a schlemiel.
都不行 给他一间办公室 还有一个叫潘妮 潘恩的秘书
No, give him an office, and a secretary named Penny Pann.
全都是我给你的
I did that for you.
所以现在我也可以把她调走
And I did this for you also.
滚出我的生活
Stay out of my life!
♪ 爸爸喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Papa love mambo ♪
星期四晚上
♪ 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪
小家伙 要把这些都吃完
All of this goes in that mouth
才能离开桌子
before you leave this seat, young man.
- 泽尔达 - 我会看着他的 米丽亚姆小姐
- Zelda? - I'll have eyes on him, Miss Miriam.
谢谢 泽尔达
Thank you, Zelda.
真香啊
Everything smells delicious.
♪ 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪ - ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪
♪ 他平衡着身体的重量 ♪ Evens his weight with it now ♪
♪ 他后退一步 她前进一步 ♪ He goes to, she goes fro ♪
♪ 他舞步轻快 ♪ ♪ He goes fast ♪
- 乔尔 - 对不起
- Joel? - Sorry.
我 我没敲门
I, I didn't knock.
我直接就进来了 然后我
I just... started to come in, but then I...
我不知道该不该 所以我
I didn't know if I should, so I...
- 又把门关上了 - 所以呢
- closed it. - So what's the verdict?
进还是不进
In or out?
进
In.
♪ 爸爸喜欢曼波 ♪ Papa loves mambo ♪
提醒你一下 起居室在那边
Living room's that way, unless you forgot.
- 我去换件外套 - 我怕你忘了
- Going to get a jacket. - Wasn't sure if you forgot.
- 我就离开了一天 米琪 - 还不够久 是吧
- Been gone one day, Midge. - That long, ha?
- 简直好极了 - 是啊
- This is going really well. - Yeah.
那天我工作到很晚 四周一片寂静
So I'm at work late, it's stone quiet,
我听到装纽扣的箱子里有窸窸窣窣的声音
and I hear a rustling noise from a button crate.
我给你讲过这个吗 亚伯
Have I told you this story, Abe?
事实上 莫伊舍 我不记得你讲过
Actually Moishe, you haven't, that I know of.
很好 然后我就抓起一把剪刀
Good! So I grab a pair of scissors,
我手脚并用爬到箱子那里
I'm on my hands and knees crawling over to the crate,
我打算来个突袭
I'm gonna surprise attack.
我跳起来 一把把盖子掀掉
I jump up, and I rip the top off,
徒手哦 一下就掀掉了
bare hands, right off!
两只鸡从里面跳了出来
Two chickens jump out.
活蹦乱跳的鸡
Live chickens!
他们是在泽西岛的某地跳进来的
They jumped in somewhere in Jersey,
然后坐船渡过哈德孙河
and took a ride across the Hudson!
我挺佩服那俩家伙的
Let me tell you, I admired those boys.
而且它们真是美味
And they were delicious.
这 这是什么
What, what are those?
Gougères 法式奶酪泡芙
Gougères. French cheese puffs.
法国菜很咸 是故意的吗
French food is salty. Is that on purpose?
- 也许吧 - 你知道吗
- Probably. - Did you know
许多法国女人嫁不出去
a lot of French women aren't married?
因为她们总是在沙滩上裸着上身
Because they're always going topless on their beaches.
男人可以免费看光她们 就不会向她们求婚了
Men see if for free, they're not gonna propose.
你知道我刚想到什么了吗
You know what I just realized?
我们从没在你们家用过晚餐 亚伯
We never do these things at your house, Abe.
我们家更宽敞
Our place is bigger,
莫伊舍 接待客人更方便
Moishe, more entertaining space.
抱歉 诸位 我来晚了
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
乔尔 谢天谢地 你终于来了
Joel. Thank God.
你好 妈
Hello, Mom.
你好 罗斯 亚伯
Hello, Rose. Abe.
你好 乔尔
Hello, Joel.
有人在使眼色 雪莉
Somebody's sending a message, Shirley.
什么眼色 你说什么呢
What message? What are you talking about?
伊森想跟大家说晚安
Ethan wanted to say good night.
- 爸爸 - 嘿 小家伙
- Daddy. - Hey, pal.
过来
Get over here.
穿了新睡衣
You got your new pajamas on?
不错 真好看 去给奶奶打招呼 好吗
Looks good, it looks good. Go say hi to Grandma, okay?
- 耶 奶奶 - 过来 伊森
- Yeah. Grandma. - Come here, Ethan.
真是个乖宝宝
You are such a precious boy.
好了 过来 到爷爷这来
All right, come on, come to Grandpa.
不 我不想让他走
No, I don't want him to go.
下次抱他可能要等到猴年马月了
This might have to last me for a long, long while.
你想道奇队（美国加州洛杉矶的一支职棒大联盟球队）了吗
You miss the Dodgers?
你知道吗 因为你他们离开了
You know, they left because of you, right?
- 莫伊舍 - 他们离开是因为
- Moishe. - They left because
你从不去看比赛 他们说
you never went to a game, and they said,
伊森到底什么时候才来看比赛
when the hell is Ethan coming to a game?
雪莉 你需要什么东西吗
Shirley? Do you need something?
我的天
Thank goodness...
又跑了
There he goes.
你知道 我对乔尔印象最深的就是他穿着绿色的小裤衩
You know, my strongest memory of Joel is him running away from us
从我们身边跑开
in his little green pants.
你还好吗 米里亚姆
How are you doing, Miriam?
我很好
I'm doing fine.
如果你有什么需要 尽管跟我和雪莉说
If you ever need anything, Shirley and I are here for you.
谢谢
I appreciate that.
你知道吗 我妹夫死得早
You know, when my sister's husband died young,
我妹妹就去养老院当志愿者
she started volunteering at the old ladies nursing home,
为老太太读故事 教她们跳恰恰舞
reading stories, teaching cha-cha classes,
诸如此类
things like that.
借以消磨漫长孤寂的白天
Helped her get through the long, lonely days,
晚上 她就玩拼图 画画
and at night, jigsaw puzzles, portraits,
她最喜欢画的是篮子里的小狗
basket of puppies was a big one.
请允许我离开一下
Could you excuse me just a minute?
♪ 你知道 我们注定 ♪ You know that we were meant ♪
♪ 不止是朋友 ♪ To be more than just friends... ♪
你能跟我来卧室一趟吗
Can I see you in the bedroom a minute?
我就不懂
I just don't understand
为什么你不叫我带点东西过来呢
why you didn't ask me to bring something.
因为你是客人 雪莉
Because you're a guest, Shirley.
我都不知道这是什么
I don't even know what this is.
我来做汤 汤我会做
I'll make soup. Soup we understand.
雪莉 你是客人 你是我们的客人
Shirley, you're a guest. You're our guest.
你是客人
You're a guest.
- 这是什么 - 鸡汤
- What is that? - Chicken soup.
从哪儿来的
Where did that come from?
我上次来的时候放冰箱里的
I put it in the freezer last time I was here.
你们有逾越节薄饼吗
Do you have any matzo meal?
算了 我包里有
Never mind, I have some in my purse.
我记得我带了些
I think I brought some...
就站那儿吧
Stop there.
我不是个暴力的人 乔尔
I am not a violent man, Joel.
不然的话 我就会把你带上楼
But if I were, I would take you upstairs to my apartment
把你从我的窗户扔出去
and throw you out the window.
知道为什么我不把你从这个窗户扔出去吗
Do you know why I'm not throwing you out this window?
- 不知道 - 因为我的窗户所在的楼层更高
- No. - Because my window
我想确保能摔死你
is on a higher floor and I want to make sure it sticks.
- 亚伯 - 别
- Abe... - No.
别叫我亚伯
You do not call me Abe.
- 那叫你什么 - 什么也别叫
- What do I call you? - Nothing.
什么也别叫
You call me nothing.
不要跟我说话 也别看我
You don't talk to me or look at me.
如果你在街上看到我 就马上穿到街对面去
If you see me on the street, you will cross the street,
不管有没有人行道
whether or not there is a crosswalk present.
你走路安不安全再也不关我的事
Your pedestrian safety is of no importance to me anymore.
- 我 - 你怎么 你很抱歉
- I... - You what? You're sorry?
你不是故意的 事情就那样发生了
You didn't mean to do what you did? It just happened?
你们还有孩子 乔尔
You have children, Joel.
- 你发过誓的 - 我知道
- You made promises. - I know.
你这个傻小子
You stupid, stupid boy.
你上哪儿再找像米里亚姆这么好的姑娘啊
Where are you going to find a girl like Miriam again?
晚饭好了 爸爸
Dinner's ready, Papa.
需要我帮忙吗
Can I help you with that?
我可以的
I've got it.
你今晚很漂亮
You look really beautiful tonight.
我还端着一盘肉呢
Well, I've got an armful of meat.
是啊 无伤大雅
Yeah, that can't hurt.
我们可能要好好商量下后续的事情
We should probably figure out some logistics.
后续
Logistics?
这儿还有你的东西 衣服什么的
You have things here. Clothes.
如果你需要 我可以都给你打包
I can pack them all up for you, if you'd like.
好吧
Okay...
我可以时常来看看孩子吗
Can I come by and see the kids sometimes?
我会把他们带出去玩的
I'll take 'em out so I'm not here.
当然 你是他们的爸爸
Of course. You're their dad.
他们爱你 我们会处理好的
They love you. We'll figure something out.
- 我们该入座了 雪莉 - 我知道
- We're sitting down, Shirley. - I know.
我只是想再做一件事
I just wanted to do one more thing...
你做的已经够多了
You've done so much already.
开饭了 各位 来吧
Dinner, everyone. Move.
背景音乐 ♫ I Let A Song Go Out Of My Heart
♪ 我一直不懂得音乐的甜美 ♪ ♪ I won't know sweet music ♪
♪ 直到你回来 ♪ ♪ Until you return ♪
♪ 某天 ♪ ♪ Someday ♪
亚伯 我知道你才是这次聚会的主人
Abe, I know this is your gathering,
但我想占用几分钟说说家事儿
but I'd like to take a moment to talk about family.
- 很好 - 我知道我们正在经历
- Terrific. - I know we're going through
一段艰难的时光 我只是想
a rough, rough time, and I just want to
谢谢各位今晚的到来
thank everyone for coming together tonight.
- 你闻到烧焦的味道了吗 - 因为在这样困难的时期
- Do you smell something burning? - Because by coming together
我们聚在一起
under these trying circumstances
向下一代展示
we're showing future generations,
包括你的伊森和埃丝特 在这种艰难的时刻
your Ethans, your Esthers, that in times of hardships,
自我牺牲是必不可少的
self-sacrifice is often necessary.
就像1943年 我从德国解救十三个犹太人时
Like the sacrifice I made pulling 13 Jews out of Germany
- 所做的牺牲一样 - 又开始了
- in 1943. - Here we go.
我接到一通电话 我并不知道他们是谁
I got that call, I didn't know who these people were,
我也不知道怎么办 我只知道有十三个犹太人
I didn't know how to do it, I just knew there were
想要逃离德国
13 Jews that wanted out of Germany,
而我就是帮助他们出逃的那个人
and I was the man to get them out.
我付出了很大代价 为每个人都花了一笔钱
At great cost. What I paid per head.
- 好了 可以开始吃饭了 - 尽管如此
- Okay, time to eat. - Anyhow,
前几天 我坐在圣殿时
the other day, sitting in temple,
看着我们旁边的那些空椅子
looking at all the empty seats next to us...
那是我们还是一家人时买的位置
seats we paid for as a family...
我陷入了深深的悲伤
I was filled with great sadness.
有什么问题吗 亚伯
Something wrong, Abe?
实际上 钱是我付的
Seats I paid for, actually.
你本来是要还我的
You were going to pay me back...
所以就是因为钱吗
So it's about money.
我没想到你会为此难受
I didn't realize you were hurting.
我没有难受
I'm not hurting.
我只是说我们之前说好了的
I'm just saying we had an agreement.
好吧 你看起来生活很幸福
Well, you seem to have a nice life,
你有一个温馨的家
you've got your lovely home,
有一个仆人
you've got your servant here.
塞尔达不是仆人 她只是个员工
Zelda is not a servant, she's an employee.
- 她是家人 - 对 她也是家人
- She's family. - Family, too.
而且收入不错 也有假期
And well-paid, with vacation time.
去年她还去了荷兰
She went to Holland last year.
- 冰岛 - 冰岛 比荷兰还好
- Iceland. - Iceland. Better than Holland.
在过去 我们也是奴隶
In ancient times, we were the slaves.
- 我们不拥有奴隶 - 我没有拥有她
- We don't own slaves. - I don't own her!
我们能不能冷静一下 喝点汤
Can we all just calm down, eat some soup?
荒谬 我们难道都要坐在这儿
This is ridiculous! Are we really just going to
假装享受这个夜晚吗
sit here and pretend everyone's having a nice evening?
我们并没有很享受这个晚上
We're not having a nice evening.
好 那我就直说了 这个分手
Fine, then I'll say it. The separation...
荒谬的分手 是不可能的
this ridiculous breakup... it's not going to happen.
这不是谈这个话题的场合
This is not the place to have this conversation.
没人在跟你说话
No one's talking to you.
亚伯 你准备怎么办
What are you gonna do about it, Abe?
难道要让米利亚姆失去丈夫的保护
Going to let Miriam here just suddenly drift along
孤苦无依吗
without a husband to protect her?
她要怎么度过自己的人生
She's gonna do what with her life?
整天坐在那里吃着糖果
Sit around all day long eating bon-bons,
看着 女王的一天
watching Queen For A Day.
- 那就如了你的意吗 - 当然不是
- Is that what you want for her? - Of course not!
- 但是那马上就会成为现实了 - 不会
- That's what's gonna happen. - It's not!
- 会 - 我准备回学校
- Is too! - I'm going back to school!
- 什么 - 学校
- What? - School?!
拜托大家 冷静下来 冷静
Everybody, please, just calm down, calm down.
愤怒和意气用事都是毫无意义的
All this anger and emotion is pointless.
茶叶表明了他俩不会分手的
The leaves said that the separation will not happen.
所有一切都会和平幸福地结束
It's all going to end in peace and happiness.
麻烦你们两个跟我来一下卧室
Can I see you two in the bedroom a minute?
你向我发过誓不再见那个疯子
You swore to me you wouldn't see that crackpot anymore.
迪娜是我的朋友 她很有天赋
Drina's a friend, and she's very gifted.
她解读茶叶渣 还有你
She reads sediment. And you,
我告诉过你让他回心转意
I told you to go get him back.
什么
What?
我跟你说了让你化好妆
I told you to fix your face,
穿个漂亮裙子 让他回心转意
put on a nice dress and get him back.
- 到底发生了什么 - 我
- What happened? - I...
你忘了怎么化妆吗
You forgot how to fix your face?
- 还是找不到裙子 - 不是
- You couldn't find a dress? - No.
- 那是什么 - 如果他不想回来的话
- Then what? - I don't want him here
我也不想他回来
if he doesn't want to be here.
你当然想
Of course you do.
你想让他回来
You want him here no matter what
无论他有什么想法或是感受
he thinks or feels or wants.
- 不 - 米里亚姆
- No. - Miriam,
因为你 我们不得不和那个男人待在一起
because of you, we are stuck in this house with that man
听他的长篇大论
and his bloviating and speeches.
我不得不说 如果他再提一次
And I have to say, if he talks about getting
关于帮助那十三个犹太人逃出德国的事
those 13 Jews out of Germany one more time...
- 亚伯 - 他把他们带过来
- Abe... - He brought them here
然后关在自己的工厂里
and stuck them in his factory.
让他们在那儿工作
They're all working there.
他有给那些可怜的人工钱吗
Is he paying these poor people?
有供他们使用的卫生间吗 我见过他们
Are there toilets for them? I've seen their faces.
我不是很确定 但是他们中一定有人会想
I can't be sure of this, but one of them has a look like,
我应该回德国碰碰运气
"I should have taken my chances back in Germany."
爸爸
Papa.
他真是个自大的混蛋 我就这么说了
He's a pompous ass! I said it.
你们听到了吗 是冰箱的声音吗
Did you hear that? Is that the fridge?
天呐 她在找甜点了
God, she's going after the dessert.
雪莉
Shirley!
你真的准备回学校吗
Are you really going back to school?
不
No.
你准备怎么办
What are you gonna do?
我不知道
I don't know.
这是什么意思
What's this for?
我也不知道
I don't know.
我们去哪儿
Where we gonna go?
我不在乎 大街上 我还在乎什么
I don't care, the street... what do I care?
- 天呐 - 哦 你在吓唬我
- God. - Aw, you're bluffing.
我没有吓唬你
I'm not bluffing.
这不是你想的那样
This is not a bluff you want to call.
我什么也没做
I'm doing nothing.
这全怪你 孩子
This is all you, my boy.
你疯了吗 这是结婚礼物
Are you crazy? It was a wedding gift.
什么是结婚礼物
What was a wedding gift?
这是给结婚夫妻的礼物
A wedding gift to a married couple.
给你和米里亚姆的
A gift for you and Miriam.
你说你们两个不是夫妻了
You say there's no longer a couple?
好啊 我收回这个礼物
Fine, I'll take it back.
这个公寓在我名下
The apartment is in my name.
我想怎样就怎样
I can do what I want with it.
- 你们的公寓在他名下 - 你为什么要这样做
- He owns your apartment? - Why would you do this?
你说你想要我滚出你的生活
You say you want me out of your life.
好啊 我这就滚出你的生活
Okay, I'm out of your life.
但是我要带着公寓一起走
But I'm taking the apartment with me.
你真是个混蛋
You're a real son of a bitch.
乔尔 这不是真的
Joel. It-it's not true.
告诉我这不是真的
Tell me it's not true.
你不是准备重回学校吗 米里亚姆
You going back to school, Miriam?
读个商科吧
Take a business class.
因为这个男人
'Cause the boy here doesn't know
- 屁都不懂 - 我说 我们还有邻居呢
- his ass from his elbows. - Hey, hey, we have neighbors.
他对数字一窍不通
He's fuckin' lousy with numbers.
你们破产了 你们只能勉强糊口
You guys are broke. You're living hand to mouth.
乔尔给你买花 那都是我的钱
Joel buys you flowers, they're from me.
- 乔尔 - 你什么也没有
- Joel... - You own nothing.
你的公寓属于我 他的工作是他叔叔给的 也就是我的
Your apartment is mine, his job is his uncle's, so mine.
他没出一分钱 也没存一分钱
He's provided nothing, he's saved nothing.
乔尔 说话啊
Joel, please talk.
你没告诉她 你的妻子不知道这件事
You didn't tell her. Your wife, she didn't know.
- 两个不懂事的孩子 - 行 滚出我的房子
- Toddlers, both of you. - Okay, get out of my house.
- 你说的是我的房子 - 我不管是谁的
- You mean my house. - I don't care whose house it is!
- 滚出去 - 我们要说清楚
- Get out if it! - Let's be clear about it...
莫西 滚出去 我说你们两个滚出去
Mosh, get out of here! I said get out, both of you!
住手 把他给我轰出去
Just stop... Just take him out of here...
- 快乐的家庭 - 雪莉
- The happy family. - Shirley...
威奇托市
Wichita.
威奇托市
Wichita.
威奇托市
Wichita!
- 不好意思 小姐 - 哈
- Excuse me, Miss. - Ha!
披着虚伪的外衣 威奇托市
Clothed in mendacity, Wichita.
滴 怎么 拜托
Dripping... What the... Come on.
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm.
这是俄语 混蛋
That's Russian, motherfucker!
又开始了
And here we go.
我学的是俄国文学
I was a Russian literature major,
刚才那句来自一本书
and that line was from a book,
或者是一首诗 我记不住了
or a poem... I can't remember.
我只记得
All I can remember is.
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm,
意思是 我住在山上的大房子里
which means, "I live in the large house on the hill."
真好笑
That's funny.
太好笑了
That's really funny.
好笑的原因是
And the reason it's so funny is because
我曾经也住在山上的大房子里面
I used to live in the large house on the hill.
而现在 我无家可归了
And now I live nowhere.
一个小时以前 我的地址变成了"啊哈"
As of an hour ago, my address changed to "ahah".
看吧
See,
我的生活在今天彻底分崩离析了
my life completely fell apart today,
原因是这样的
and here's why.
我的公寓在我公公的名下
My father-in-law owns my house.
他在他儿子抛弃我后把公寓收了回去
And he took it back when his son left me.
事实上 这件事听起来并不好笑
Actually, that doesn't sound funny at all.
听起来 糟透了
That sounds... awful.
非常糟糕 对吗
Biblical, right?
就像 就像人类始祖亚当和夏娃
Like, like it's Adam and Eve time,
我嫁给了亚当的儿子 该隐
and I marry Adam's son, Cain.
我们有了自己的房子 我认为我们很幸福
We get a nice little place, I think we're very happy,
然而有一天 该隐离开了我因为
and then one day Cain leaves me for,
我不知道 他的弟弟亚伯
I don't know, his brother Abel,
因为那时候就他妈只有四个人
because there's only four fuckin' people
在这个地球上
on the planet at this point.
然后亚当 亚当收回了我们的房子
And then Adam... Adam takes my house
然后让我去玩拼图游戏
and tells me to do jigsaw puzzles.
天呐 我怎么不知道那房子不是我们的
God, how did I not know it wasn't our house?
我怎么这么蠢 我的意思是 我从没想过问一下
How stupid am I? I mean, I never thought to ask,
我说 以防你和你的秘书私奔
"Hey, in case you leave me for your secretary,
我们的房产契约是怎么写的
what's the situation with our deed?"
是因为胸罩 对吧
It's the bras, right?
一定是因为胸罩
It's the bras.
还有 还有紧身衣和束腹带
And the... the girdles and the corsets,
都设计的紧得像是要切断你的大脑血液循环
all designed to cut off the circulation to your brain,
让你走在路上随时都有可能晕过去
so you walk around on the verge of passing out,
然后你看着你的丈夫 他告诉你的事
and you look at your husband, and he tells you things,
你就都相信了
and you just believe them.
就像 就像你还是小女孩的时候
Like, like when you're a little girl,
人们都说 公主在魔法城堡里
and people say, "The princess lived in a magic castle
住了一百年
for a hundred years."
然后王子爬上来
"And then a prince climbed up the side,
杀死了一条龙 亲了公主 把她唤醒了
slayed a dragon, kissed her, woke her up,
然后他们过上了幸福的生活
and they lived happily ever after."
而你认为 还蛮可信的
And you think... that's plausible.
其中有些细节很模糊
Couple of details are fuzzy,
但是 我买账
but sure, I'll buy that.
之后 你发现 王子的父亲是这座城堡的主人
Later, you find out the prince's father owns the castle,
王子的秘书会速记
the prince's secretary knows shorthand,
然后睡美人就被甩了
and Sleeping Beauty's screwed.
你们听说过会速记的女孩吗
You've heard about the shorthand girls?
她们所掌握的生活技能
These are girls whose skill in life
就是不写完整的句子
is not writing full sentences.
而我 我在大学学习俄语
Meanwhile, I went to college to learn Russian.
说到伏特加 这里为什么不提供酒呢
And speaking of vodka, why don't they serve booze here?
我要喝酒
I need a drink.
我要喝烈酒
I need a stiff drink.
我需要一杯足够烈的酒 让我能够搞砸一切
I need a drink so stiff I could blow it.
对不起 这样不够淑女
Sorry, that's un-ladylike.
你看起来受到了冒犯
You look offended.
我不是故意要冒犯娇弱的人
I don't mean to offend the delicate.
我过去也很娇弱 很讨人喜欢
I-I used to be delicate. I was delightful.
我曾经是一朵鲜花 香如玫瑰
I was a goddamn flower. I smelled like roses,
太阳照在我的屁股上
and sunshine shone out of my ass.
怎么了
What?
我说的是阳光
I said sunshine.
我说 回家后 检查一下房产证的名字
Hey, when you get home, check the name on your deed.
开玩笑吧
You are kidding me.
我知道对于你们来说
I know I must seem a bit angry
我现在看起来又生气又神经错乱 对 我就是
and deranged to you all right now, and I am.
我承认 接下来几个小时里
I'll admit, I would like to repeatedly kick
我想要踢遍
every man in here in the balls
这里每一个男人的蛋蛋
over the course of the next several hours.
然而我不会这样做 我还是个淑女
I won't, though. I am still a lady.
一个淑女从来不会狂踢男人的蛋蛋
And a lady never kicks men repeatedly in the balls
超过二三十分钟
for longer than 20, 30 minutes tops.
因为那之后她们的束腰带就会让血液不流通
Because then their girdles start to draw blood.
好了 好了
All right, all right.
我告诉过你要注意谈吐 你知道这里的规矩
I told you about the language. You know the drill.
佩卢索警官
Officer Peluso...
女士们先生们 这是佩卢索警官
Ladies and gentlemen, Officer Peluso!
就在前几天 他逮捕了我
He arrested me just the other night.
现在就从那里下来 不然我就上去了
Come down from there right now or I'm coming up there.
警官 不好意思 我现在一个人上班
Officer, sorry, I work alone.
很明显我的后半生也是这样
Now, and apparently for the rest of my life.
我数到五 一
I'm gonna count to five. One...
我的表演结束了 各位 下周请继续收听
That's the end of my show, folks. Tune in next week,
我的祖母偷了我的珍珠 还上了我的男朋友
when my grandmother steals my pearls and fucks my boyfriend.
五 我们走 佩卢索
Five! Let's go, Peluso.
那是我的客户
That's my client.
Orange 字幕组
现在开始 拍照要收费了
We charge for pictures now.
原创翻译 双语字幕
Orange字幕组 原创译制
翻译/Translator：Libsu苏苏 Twinkle Piper 三水 萌萌的萌
♪ 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
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压制/Encoder：失梦旅行
♪ 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
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♪ 你让你妈妈都乱了 ♪ ♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
版权所有 ©2017 亚马逊影视电视公司 Translate By OrangeSub Television Drama Team
♪ 她都分不清你是男是女 ♪ ♪ She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♪
♪ 宝贝 你的发型真不错 ♪ ♪ Hey, babe, your hair's all right ♪
♪ 宝贝 我们出去过夜吧 ♪ ♪ Hey, babe, let's go out tonight ♪
♪ 你喜欢我 我喜欢这感觉 ♪ ♪ You like me and I like it all ♪
♪ 我们喜欢跳舞 看起来不食人间烟火 ♪ ♪ We like dancing and we look divine ♪
♪ 你爱那些乐队 他们在卖力演奏 ♪ ♪ You love bands when they play it hard ♪
♪ 你还想要更多 还要更快一点 ♪ ♪ You want more and you want it fast ♪
♪ 他们把你放倒 还说我有问题 ♪ ♪ They put you down, they say I'm wrong ♪
♪ 你才有问题 勾搭他们 ♪ ♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 你撕破裙子 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 你脸一团糟 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 他们怎么知道 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel, how could they know? ♪
♪ 性感的你 我太爱你了 ♪ ♪ Hot tramp, I love you so ♪
♪ 你呢 ♪ ♪ Don't ya ♪
♪ 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ 你让你妈妈都乱了 ♪ ♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
♪ 她都分不清你是男是女 ♪ ♪ Cause she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♪
♪ 宝贝你的发型真不错 ♪ ♪ Hey, babe, your hair's all right ♪
♪ 宝贝 我们出去过夜吧 ♪ ♪ Hey, babe, let's stay out tonight ♪
♪ 你喜欢我 我喜欢这感觉 ♪ ♪ You like me and I like it all ♪
♪ 我们喜欢跳舞 看起来极好 ♪ ♪ We like dancing and we look divine... ♪