“特拉华州 麦迪逊市” 哇哦 "Madison, Delaware." Wow.
老妈 你确定你不能去其他地方 Mom, are you positive there weren't any other places
去当副校长吗 looking for vice principals?
比如哪里 Like where?
关塔那摩监狱 Guantanamo bay?
喔 太刺激了 Ooh, too hot.
- 朝鲜 - 不 - North Korea? - No.
他们不会给我回电话 They didn't call me back.
底特律 Detroit?
就是这了 This is it.
来吧 来吧 Come on, come on.
你在纽约绝对找不到 Look. A yard.
这样的院子 You'd never get this in New York.
你不用给我推销这个地方 You don't have to keep selling me on this place.
- 我留在这里是因为我爱你 - 啊 我也爱你 - I'm staying because I love you. - Aw, I love you too.
我查过了 And I looked into it.
从法律上来说 我在满十八岁之前都不能自己一个人住 Legally, I can't live on my own until I'm 18.
瞧瞧这间厨房 Look at this kitchen.
比我们的公寓都要大 It's bigger than our apartment.
我们不做饭 We don't cook.
你看看这个柜台 Well, look at all this counter space
想想它铺满外卖的样子 to put the takeout on. Whew.
你听到了吗 Do you hear that?
不 我什么都没听见 No, I don't hear anything.
正是 Exactly.
这位住在纽约的女士 Live from New York,
是我的姐姐盖尔 it's my sister Gale!
她身旁的是特别嘉宾 我的侄子扎克 With special guest, my nephew Zach.
- 来一个拥抱吧 - 嘿 - Get in here with a hug! - Hey. Oh.
这是个周六夜现场式的介绍 Oh, it's an SNL reference.
- 哦 是的 - 你住在纽约 - Oh, yeah. - You lived in New York.
- 好 嗯 - 哦 我的天 - Okay, yeah. - Oh, my goodness!
瞧瞧你 Look at you!
这件衣服真配你 You're not in any color.
我们应该换着穿穿 We should change that.
我的天呐 见到你真是太好了 Oh, my god. It's good to see you.
- 哇哦 你也是 - 好的 让我看看我的小侄子 - Wow, you too. - Okay. Let me take him in.
天呀 他真是越来越帅了 Oh, my gosh. He gets more handsome every time I see him.
- 太帅气了 - 谢谢 罗琳姨妈 - So good-looking. - Thank you, aunt Lorraine.
他真是个可爱的男孩 He's just a beautiful boy.
真是感谢上帝 你小时候不知道有多丑 Thank god, because you were such an ugly baby.
- 是这样的 - 哦 罗琳 - There it is. - Oh, Lorraine.
怎么了 那很好啊 他现在很帅了 What? It's fine. He's handsome now.
长相又不可能 先是很丑 It's not like he's gonna go ugly,
然后又变帅 最后又变丑 handsome and then back to ugly.
危险期已过 No. The danger's past.
哦 我都快忘了 Oh, I almost forgot.
我给你买了个礼物 因为我是个帅气的姨妈 I got a present for you, because I'm a cool aunt.
这是我设计的男士新款 This is from my new signature men's line.
你瞧瞧 Check it out.
碉堡了 Awesome.
这是限量版的 所以你肯定不会 It's limited edition, so you're not gonna see
看到这东西成为大街货 a lot of men wearing that hat.
嗯 不 那场景太美 让我不敢想象 Yeah, no, I can't imagine anyone would be wearing it.
看上去就很限量 It's so limited edition.
戴戴看 看看合不合适 Try it on. Make sure it fits.
- 现在就戴吗 - 好吧 - Try it on right now? - Okay.
是的 带她去兜兜风 Yeah, take her for a spin.
哦 是的 看呐 我是说 太帅了 就是它了 Oh, yes. Look at that. I mean, come on. That is it.
好吧 Okay.
嗯 我要去把箱子搬下来 回见 Um, I'm gonna go unload some boxes now, and see you around.
哦 宝贝 别戴着出去 我不想你出很多汗 Oh, honey. Leave the hat on. I don't want you to burn.
嗯 你戴着它真的很合适 Mm. And you look good with it on.
谢了 真酷 Thank you. Cool.
慢点 Smooth.
那么你就是新邻居吗 So you're the new neighbor?
是的 很高兴见到你 Yeah. Nice to meet you.
从纽约开车到这里得要多久 How long was the drive from New York?
不 我只是想说 No. I can just tell
你戴这顶帽子真漂亮 by the pretty hat that you have.
哦 不 这个 不 Oh, no. This-- no.
这是 这其实是我姨妈送的礼物 This is-- this is actually a gift from my aunt.
这也是给我的礼物 It's also a gift for me
给所有看见你戴这个帽子的人的礼物 and everyone who gets to see you wearing it.
- 我是扎克 顺便一提 - 我是汉娜 - I'm Zach, by the way. - I'm Hannah.
汉娜 Hannah.
我得走了 I gotta go.
谈得很愉快 Good talk.
你好 嘿 我们刚刚搬进来 Hi. Hey, we're just moving in.
只有 只有我和我妈 Just-- just me and my mom.
- 这顶帽子是个礼物 - 你看见了围栏吗 - This hat was a gift. - You see that fence?
你看见了围栏吗 Do you see the fence?
呃 看见了 Uh, yes.
站到围栏的外边去 Stay on your side of it.
你离我女儿远点 你离我也远点 You stay away from my daughter, you stay away from me...
那么我们就不会有不愉快 And we won't have a problem.
嗯 刚遇见了我们的邻居 Well, just met our neighbor.
他是头巨大的泰迪熊 He's a big Teddy bear.
哦 施瑞福先生吗 Oh, Mr. Shivers?
是的 他搬到这里有好些年头了 Yeah. He moved to town a few years ago.
非常神秘 Very mysterious.
性感 我爱他的味道 Very sexy. I love his scent.
闻起来就像是加了点薄荷的狐臭 It's like mint and Bo. It works.
是吗 你喜欢就好 Yeah. Not my type.
我记得那天 I remember that day.
哦 Oh.
你还好吗 甜心 You okay, sweetheart?
还好 还好 对不起 呃 Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Um...
我得先去开始整理我的房间了 I'm gonna go get a head start decorating my room.
让我的遗愿清单又少一件事 Knock it off my bucket list.
他干什么呢 How's he doing?
哦 老毛病了 Oh, it's been hard.
他有一堵心墙 He's putting up a wall.
但愿换了个地方能对他有所帮助 Hopefully, a change of scenery will help.
你还好吗 How are you doing?
但愿换了个地方能对我有所帮助 Hopefully, a change of scenery will help.
- 好的 扎克 - 让我们看看你有多少能耐 - All right, Zach. - Let's see what you got.
一个快速球 打了两个双曲线 With the fastball. Two's a curve.
快起来 你得给我打个手势 Gotta get up. You gotta give me the sign.
这就对了 哦 There you go. Oh!
这个 That's--
哦 看见没 老爸不是万能的 oh, see? Dad's not perfect.
不 No.
老爸也会接不住球 Dad can get one drop.
准备好 看手势 All right. Read the signs.
一定要把它挡住 不要着急跳起来 It's all just to block. Don't wanna jump up.
这就是打快速球的办法 That's how the fastballs get by.
好了 准备好 现在加速了 好吗 All right. Get ready. Go fast now. Okay?
宝贝 你还好吗 Honey? You okay?
嗯 没事 只是看看一些小时候的旧照 Um, yeah. Just found some old baby pictures.
我真像一只小咕噜 I really did look like baby gollum.
是啊 是啊 Yeah, yeah.
总是这样 不是么 That's always the case, right?
- 嗨 贝卡 - 哦 嘿 - Hey, Becca. - Oh, hey.
嗯 新朋友 新朋友 新朋友 Yay. New friends, new friends, new friends.
喔喔喔 你以为你在做什么 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing?
我要去上班了 做点教人的活呀 I'm going to work. Gonna do some educating.
管人的活呀 Some administrating.
酷 老妈 我就是那种 Cool. Mom, I'm the new kid,
家长自己都有问题的新学生 which presents its own set of obstacles.
不知道和副校长一起上学是不是很好玩 Not sure walking in with the vice principal is the play.
就给我个六十秒的领跑就好 Just give me a 60-second head start
这样至少我能有个机会 so I at least have a chance.
可以 你保证你会成功 Deal. You promise you'll give it a shot?
你知道我不能给你保证这个 You know I can't promise you that.
我保证 好吗 I promise. All right?
所以这儿的门锁 And this door-locking thing...
得了吧 你应该更好一些 Come on, you're better than that.
六十秒倒计时开始了 60 59 58 57 56 55 54 Sixty seconds start now, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54...
好吧 让我们各就各位 女士们先生们 All right. Let's find our seats, ladies and gentlemen.
请快点坐到自己的座位上 Find our seats quickly.
坐到座位上 Let's find our seats.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
好吧 让我们安静下来 嗯 Okay. Let's settle down. Um...
好吧 呃 抱歉 不好意思 让一下 Okay. Uh, sorry. Excuse me. Let me just--
不好意思 让让 好吧 okay, cool. Okay.
所以你就是新生 So you're the new kid.
哦 对的对的 Oh, yeah. Cool, cool.
哦 嗨 泰勒 Oh. Hi, Taylor.
嗨 呆瓜 Hi, Chump.
- 她刚才叫你'呆瓜'？ - 是的 她确实这么叫了 - She just call you "Chump"? - Yes, indeed, she did.
我的真正名字就是'钱普' 你知道的 My real name is champ, you know.
但她以前从来没有和我说过话 But she's never talked to me before,
所以我们之间已经进步了 so we're making progress.
三 二 一 Three. Two, one.
安静 Settle down.
早上好 Good morning.
我很高兴向你们介绍 I am so happy to introduce you
我们的新副校长 库珀小姐 to our new vice principal, miss Cooper.
并且我希望你们 And I hope that you show her
像尊重我一样尊重她 the same respect that you show me.
谁干的 谁干的 Who did that? Who did that?
库珀小姐 Miss Cooper.
嗨 大家好 Hi, everyone.
我知道如果我说 我们为周五的秋季舞会感到兴奋 I know I speak for the entire administration
那我是在代表整个管理层说话 when I say that we are so excited for Friday's fall dance.
我们都想要去跳电臀舞 We can't stop twerking about it.
哦不 她不是吧 Oh, no, she didn't.
她比上一个副校长还要差劲 She's worse than the last one.
那是我妈 That's my mom.
哦 好吧 上个副校长英明绝伦 Oh, well, the last one was fantastic.
我 我是开玩笑的 我其实不知道什么是电臀舞 I-- I'm kidding. I don't even know what twerking is.
但是我听说这个很潮 But I hear it's very popular...
那你可以随便带人来跳舞么 So you taking anyone to the dance?
不 好吧 No. Yeah.
我也还在考虑一个人单飞的问题 I was thinking about flying solo too.
嘿 我们该一起去 Hey, we should go together.
一起 Together?
哦 不是那个一起的一起 Oh, not like "Together" Together.
一起跳舞什么的 不过好像也可以 Dance together or anything. Although that could work.
我给你讲 我们得进到人堆里去 知道不 You know, we get the crowd into it, you know?
然后咱们分开 就能各自泡到妹子 And then go split off with different girls.
最后要知道的就是 注意安全 玩的开心 And as a final reminder, just be safe and have fun.
把这个拿上 给我发个短信或者推特 Take this. Shoot me a text or tweet me.
上面有我的联系方式 It has all my contact info.
这是我的家的住址 那是我的储物柜号码 There's my home address, and that's my locker number.
- 你知道怎么找我了 - 任何人 - You know where to find me. - Anyone.
- 谢了 - 任何人要是敢在舞会中 - Thank you. - I need anyone caught dancing
过于亲近他的舞伴 with their butt facing their partner,
他立刻就会被送回家 you will be sent home immediately.
立刻 Immediately.
有人么 Hello?
有人在那里吗 Is someone there?
我吓到了你吗 Did I scare you?
哈 没有 Pfft, no.
真的吗 你刚才至少蹦了十英尺高 Really? Because you jumped like 10 feet high, so...
你知道的 我很爱跳 You know, I jump a lot.
这是我保持身材的办法 It's how I stay in such great shape.
那不错 我 嗯 That's good. I, um...
对了 我今天在学校没看见你 Yeah, I didn't see you at school today.
啊 什么 你是在找我吗 Aw, what, you were looking for me?
没 没有 我只是注意到 No, no. I just-- I just observed--
不 我在家自学 no, I'm homeschooled.
噢 你爸爸教你吗 Oh, by your dad?
他看起来 He seems...
很不错 Nice.
热情 就是有点紧张 And intense. And a little tense.
他不是针对你 他对谁都这样 Don't take it personally. He doesn't really like anyone.
是啊 那么 嗯 Yeah. So, um...
这附近有什么好玩的吗 So is there anything, like, fun to do around here
除了吓吓邻居 aside from scaring your neighbors?
好吧 有一件我很喜欢的事 Okay. There is one thing that I like to do.
是吗 Yeah?
跟我来 Come with me.
呃 Uh...
- 嘿 我们要去哪 - 别担心 会很好玩的 - Hey, where are we going? - Don't worry. It'll be fun.
你真的知道要去什么地方吗 Are you sure you know where you're going?
当然了 跟着我就好 Yes. Come on.
这边 This way.
你是要把我带到荒郊野外然后杀了我吗 我就是好奇问问 Are you taking me somewhere to kill me? I'm just curious.
主意不错 I'm playing it by ear.
汉娜 Hannah?
对啊 扎克 跟着陌生人到树林中去吧 Yes, Zach, follow the stranger into the woods.
快来 胆小鬼 就快到了 Come on, scaredy-cat. We're almost there.
嗯 就要到了 Okay. Just a little further.
好了 在这儿等着 Okay. Just wait here.
好吧 Okay.
这究竟是哪里 Where exactly is here?
看 Watch this.
天了噜 Whoa.
感觉怎么样 What do you think?
嗯 Uh...
跟我想象的相去甚远 It's not what I was expecting.
那么 这儿是哪里 So, what is this place?
嗯 这里是家公司几年前建的 可是后来资金不够了 Well, they built it years ago, but then they ran out of money.
然后就一直留在这了 Now it just sits here.
来吧 这是我最喜欢的 Come on, this is my favorite part.
等等 等等 你在干吗 Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?
你怕什么 我一直都这样的 What are you afraid of? I do this all the time.
我 我不是害怕 I'm-- I'm not afraid.
我只是刚打了破伤风疫苗 I'm just not current with my tetanus shots.
真讨厌郊外 I hate the suburbs.
快来 Come on.
你能做到的 只要别往下看 You can do it. Just don't look down.
我知道 I know.
你不会掉下去的 You're not gonna fall.
我也不想掉下去 I wasn't planning on it.
终于来啦 嗨 There you go. Hi.
嗨 Hi.
好吧 All right.
这可是离地面好远了 So I'm high off of the ground.
很酷 不是吗 It's cool, right?
是啊 真酷 Yeah. It's cool.
在上面能看到整个城市 You can see everything from up here.
那么 So...
为什么你搬来麦迪逊 Why'd you move to Madison?
这个嘛 我妈跟我说 Well, my mom said to me:
扎克 如果你能搬到世界任何一个角落 "Zach, if you could live anywhere in the world,
你想去哪儿呢 where would it be?"
我说 那求求你我们能搬到特拉华州的麦迪逊吗 And I said, "Can we please move to Madison, Delaware?
这是我一直以来的梦想 That'd be my dream."
你总是这样冷嘲热讽的吗 Are you always this sarcastic?
总是 不不不 Always? No, that's a strong word.
不是总是 是经常 Not always. Usually.
对不起 只是 嗯 I'm sorry. It's just, um...
自从我爸爸去世以后 It's just been me and my mom
就只有我和妈妈两个人了 所以有点 since my dad died last year, so yeah.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我已经不怎么回想这件事了 I don't really think about it much anymore.
你呢 What about you?
这个嘛 我没见过我妈妈 Well, I never knew my mom,
而且我和爸爸经常搬家 and we're always moving from one town to the next.
真糟 That really sucks.
没事 It's fine.
嘿 Hey,
汉娜 我能问你点严肃的事吗 can I ask you something really serious, Hannah?
可以啊 什么 Yeah. What?
我们怎么下去啊 How do we get down?
我是认真的 你有什么计划吗 I'm serious. Is there a plan?
没有 你一般都怎么下去的 No. How do you normally get down?
你下不去的 你就在这儿呆着吧 You can't. You're stuck.
哇 我真的无法相信 Wow, I can't believe
你吃了那个棉花糖 you ate that cotton candy.
你知道真正恐怖的是 And you know what's scary
这个糖味道其实还不错吗 is it actually tasted kind of fine.
那么 嗯 今晚多谢了 So, uh, thanks for tonight.
这是我在这儿最开心的时候了 That was the least terrible time I've had here.
噢 扎克 太温馨了 Oh, Zach. That's so sweet.
这 我 真的 That's-- I-- really.
好啊 Okay.
嘿 汉娜 我 Hey, Hannah. I'm...
我每个星期二和星期四 I'm probably gonna take out the trash
应该都会去扔垃圾 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
所以 你知道的 悄悄地出现 So, you know, you feel like creeping up on someone,
对我还挺有用的 that works for me.
好啦 我知道了 胆小鬼 All right. I'll keep that in mind, scaredy-cat.
汉娜 Hannah!
你在外面干什么 What are you doing out here?
对不起 I'm so sorry.
这是最后一次警告你 This is your last warning.
离我们远点 You stay away from us,
否则会有非常不好的事情发生的 or something very bad will happen.
我信你 I believe you.
"X究竟是啥" "What is x?"
X究竟是啥啊 What is x?
爸爸 这没什么大不了的 Dad, it's not a big deal.
汉娜 你必须要知道 Hannah, you have to understand--
我不想知道任何事 I don't have to understand anything.
我们只是聊聊天 我为什么不能交朋友 We were just talking. Why can't I have friends?
- 你知道为什么 - 这不公平 - You know why! - That is not fair!
你不能永远把我锁起来 You can't just lock me up all the time.
我再也不许你见那个男孩 You are never allowed to see that boy!
你知道我的意思吗 永远不许见 You understand me? Ever!
爸爸 冷静一下 Dad, please calm down.
- 汉娜 - 不 啊 - Hannah. - No! Aah!
怎么回事 What?
干吗 我听到尖叫声 What? I heard a scream.
汉娜还好吗 这没有人尖叫 Is Hannah okay? There was no scream.
你什么也没听见 赶快滚 You didn't hear anything. Get out of here
要不然下一个尖叫的就是你 or the last scream you hear will be your own.
不 等下等下 No. Wait, wait--
妈妈 mom.
嘿 妈 妈 妈 噢 嘿 亲爱的 Hey, mom. Mom. Mom. Oh, hey, sweetie.
嘿 晚饭吃藜麦怎么样 Hey, how do you feel about quinoa for dinner?
妈 汉娜有麻烦了 Mom, Hannah's in trouble.
哇哦 汉娜是谁呢 Oh, who's Hannah?
麦迪逊镇911 Madison county 911.
你好 嗯 我住在门罗 嗯 Hi, yes. Uh, I live on Monroe. Um--
嗯 有紧急情况 我想 扎克 怎么回事 uh, it's an emergency, I think. Zach, what's going on?
嗯 应该是家暴 我也不清楚 Yeah. Maybe possibly a domestic disturbance. I don't know.
你被捕了 噢 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 You're under arrest! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
这么热情是不错 嗯不错 继续保持 I love that enthusiasm. I love that. Keep it.
但我们还没 还没到这一步 But we're just-- we're not there yet.
你好先生 我是史蒂文斯警官 Hello, sir. My name's officer Stevens.
这是实习警官布鲁克斯 刚才很抱歉 This is training officer Brooks. I'm sorry about that before.
你不用抱歉 You don't need to be sorry.
- 你做的很好 - 真的吗 - You're doing great. - Really?
我们接到电话说有个10到16岁的女孩在这里 We got a call about a possible 10-16 at your residence.
似乎是 Which is...?
嗯 别告诉我 Um.... don't tell me.
是家庭暴力 It's a domestic disturbance.
完全正确 真的吗 Absolutely right. Really?
是啊 完全正确 Yeah. You're absolutely right.
真奇怪 今天晚上我一直是一个人 Strange, because I've been here alone all night
而且我什么也没有听见 不不 他在说谎 and I haven't heard a thing. No, no, he's lying.
汉娜在哪 我听见是她在尖叫 Where's Hannah? I know it was her screaming.
好吧 是啊 汉娜是我女儿 Okay, yes. Hannah's my daughter,
她妈妈和别的男人搬走之后 and she's been staying with me for a while
她和我一起住过一段时间 while her mother sorted a few things out
噢 对了 with her new husband. Ah, yeah.
昨天早上她从伦敦回来了 She flew back to London yesterday morning.
好的 那么就这样了 All right, well, that checks out.
对不起 先生 谢谢你宝贵的时间 Apologies, sir. Thank you for your time.
抱歉打扰你了 We're sorry for the disturbance.
环绕立体声 Surround sound.
我还不知道当一个高保真音响控还能是有罪 I didn't know being an audiophile was a crime.
当个什么 什么控 Being a what-- a what-a-phile?
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
他的意思是他是个 That just means that he is a connoisseur
鉴定高质量音响设备的专家 of high-end audio equipment.
噢 Oh.
你好 我真抱歉 我们还没正式见过面 Hi. I'm so sorry. We haven't properly met.
我是盖尔·库珀 你的新邻居 I'm Gale Cooper, your new neighbor.
这间屋子真漂亮 It's a beautiful home you have.
真是我的荣幸 非常感谢你 Pleasure's mine. Thank you so much for stopping by
带着你可爱的儿子和警察来我家串门 and bringing your delightful son and the police.
我再说一遍 真的很抱歉 Again, I'm so sorry.
抱歉了 先生 Apologies for this, sir.
我们也不愿意闯进 We hate coming into the home
一位像您这样的良民的家里来 of an upstanding citizen such as yourself.
真的很抱歉 很明显 你并没有做什么 Really sorry. I mean, obviously, you're not doing anything...
如果你要起诉的话 If you would like to press charges,
我们愿意帮你忙 we would love to help you.
汉娜 汉娜 Hannah! Hannah!
哇哦 汉娜 Whoa! Hannah!
站住 大个子 不 不 Hold on, big guy. No, no!
看楼上 相信我 Just look upstairs. Trust me.
我该押走他吗 我要押走他 Should I tase him? I'll tase him.
我欣赏你的勇气 但我们得走了 I like that moxie, but we're gonna hold off.
你知道向警察报告错误信息 You have any idea what the penalty is
会有什么惩罚吗 for filing a false police report?
坐三年牢 有点儿相近了 Three years. Close.
其实是个书面警告 It's actually a written warning.
等下 等下 妈妈 告诉我你并不相信他说的 Hold on, hold on. Mom, tell me you don't believe him.
立体音响 真的吗 Surround sound? Seriously?
扎克 够了 回家吧 Zach, enough. Go home.
噢 警官们 真的很抱歉 Oh, officers. I'm so sorry.
没事 女士 It's all right, ma'am.
我们也许该给你儿子 I feel like we should recommend
推荐一家不错的治疗中心 a good treatment center for your son.
没错 他吸毒了 他在吸毒 Yeah. That kid's on drugs. That kid is on drugs.
晚安 Good night.
盖尔 Gale.
我是罗琳 It's Lorraine.
我能看到你 I can see you.
这是你妹妹 It's your sister.
嗨 谢谢你能来 嗨 Hi. Thanks for coming. Hi.
我得在高中守着今晚的舞会 I have to chaperone the dance at the high school.
我不想让扎克一个人在家 I don't wanna leave Zach alone tonight.
盖尔 他是个处于最煎熬的时期的青少年 Gale. He's a teenage boy having a hard time adjusting.
你知道他需要什么吗 You know what he needs?
和他小姨困惑地呆一个晚上 A night in with his aunt, bedazzling.
是吗 Duh.
噢 谢了 我不想跟他吵架 Oh, thanks. I hate fighting with him.
我知道 会好起来的 只要给他点时间 I know. It'll get better. Just give it some time.
好啦 我连衣服都带来了 别担心啦 All right. Kit coming through. And don't worry.
今晚我就围着扎克转好了 It's gonna be all about Zach tonight.
扎克 Zach!
所以我们周三去了寿司店 So we went out to Sushi on Wednesday.
我们都点了鸡肉照烧 And we both ordered the chicken teriyaki,
这就像是命运的安排吧 which is like, "It's fate."
可我从那以后就没听说过他的消息了 你明白吗 And then I haven't heard from him since, you know?
那人游手好闲 可是我真的喜欢他 Which is a bummer, because I really liked him.
他从来不嘲笑我的笑话 He didn't laugh at any of my jokes,
但我却有种别的感觉 but I felt like there was something there.
我不明白 不像是我在乎 I don't know. Not like I even care.
而像是 算了 我应该听巫师的话 It's like, whatever. I should listen to my psychic.
她跟我说 “不要跟失败者约会 永远不要上飞机” She says, "Stop dating losers, and never go on a plane."
我知道 I knew it.
你觉得他是欲擒故纵 Oh, so you think he's playing hard to get?
还是更像是剧本里说得一样 Or the more likely scenario:
就像 他在火灾里丢了手机 He lost his phone in, like, a fire.
呃 我觉得他是丢了手机 Yeah, I think he lost his phone.
对 我也是这么觉得的 Yeah. I do too.
啊 我 我全忘了 You know, I-- I totally forgot.
我周一有场大考 我得去学习去了 I have a huge test on Monday that I gotta study for.
我得通宵了 So I'm just gonna do that all night,
还有 绝对不要进我的房间 and definitely don't come in my room.
哦好 好吧 再见 Oh, okay. Yeah. See you.
晚安宝贝 Night, sweetie.
你懂个啥 我要给他打电话 But you know what? I'm just gonna call him.
现在我都担心他是不是挂了 Now I'm worried he's dead.
喂 喂 喂 Hey, hey, hey.
这儿 Over here.
等等 我们是怎么分工的 Wait. So how is this gonna work?
你是我的僚机还是我是你的僚机 Are you my wingman, or am I yours?
你就打算穿这一身去跳舞 Is that what you're wearing to the dance?
我要跟你说些事情 下来 I gotta tell you something. Get down.
哥们儿 别 这可是新衣服 脱了 Dude, no. This is a new suit. Get off.
女孩儿们在哪里 哦 哦 是这些事 Where are the girls? Uh, yeah, about that.
我只说了让你过来 I just said that to get you over here.
我需要你的帮助 I need your help.
所以你是在诓我 So there are no girls?
呃 还是有一个的 Well, there is one girl.
哦我去 Oh! My man!
嘘 啥 啥 Shh! What? What?
但是她被她爸锁在家里了 而且她老爸是个精神变态 But she's locked in this house, and her dad's a psychopath.
她有什么朋友吗 Does she have a friend?
没有 我说认真的 No. I'm serious.
你这货 是你说这有女孩儿的 You know, you said there was gonna be girls,
现在不光没有 and not only are there no girls,
还跑出个精神病 我还穿着西装 but there's a psychopath, and I'm in a suit.
你怎么知道那家伙会离开 How do you know this guy's going to leave?
我假扮警察给他打了电话 I called him and pretended to be the cops.
我让他到车站去 And I asked him to come to the station.
你会摊上事儿的 就一张警告而已 You can get in trouble for that. It's just a written warning.
老兄 这又湿又脏 哥们 我裤子要沾上泥了 Dude. It's wet dirt, dude. My pants are gonna get muddied.
他就在这儿 He's right there.
咳 Whoa.
好了 我们走 All right. Let's go.
走 Come on.
好 好 Okay, okay.
老兄 我这干净整洁的人形广告就快成一个笑话了 Dude, my dry-cleaning bill's gonna be ridiculous.
赶快 Just come on.
哇哦 你从哪儿学来的 纽约吗 Whoa. Where'd you learn that, New York?
- 不 从YOUTUBE - 哦 - No, YouTube. - Oh.
好了 呆在这 盯着车道 Okay, stay here and watch the driveway.
就我一个人在这等着吗 在这一片漆黑中等着吗 Wait here by myself? Out in the dark?
对的 钱普 你来放哨 Yes, champ. You're the lookout.
如果她爸回来了 你就给我个暗号 像这样 If shivers comes back, you just give me a sign like:
好吧 正是因为这样我们也很清楚 Okay, just so we're clear,
如果我察觉到任何危险气息 我就先跑路了 if I sense any danger, I will run the other way.
呃 Whoa!
我在哪儿 Where am I?
你搞毛线啊 你不是在外面盯梢吗 What the hell? You're supposed to be the lookout.
我是在盯梢啊 And that's not gonna change.
我只是 你懂 我盯在这儿 I'll just be the lookout, you know, in here.
不 不 很明显你得在外面的某个地方 盯梢 No, no, by definition you have to be somewhere out, looking.
让我解释一下 扎克利亚斯 Let me explain something to you, zacharias.
你也知道常言道 青少年之所以不怕死 You know how they say teenagers have no fear of death?
是因为他们从没有受过伤 呃 但这不是我 明白吗 That they're never gonna get hurt? Well, not me, okay?
我是伴随着恐惧一起出生的 我还记得我四岁的时候 I was born with the gift of fear. I remember being 4,
一边推秋千一边想 being pushed on a swing and thinking,
- 我会这样死掉的 - 你不会死的 - "This is how it ends." - You're not gonna die.
是吗 至少也不是今天死 All right? At least not today.
好吧 一切都会好起来的 Okay? It's gonna be okay.
好吧 你是对的 行了吧 Yeah, you're right. Okay.
我就是来搞笑的 I'm being ridiculous.
看 捕熊器 Oh, bear traps.
有谁会在自家地下室里放捕熊器 我说认真的 Who puts bear traps in their basement? I mean, seriously.
走 Let's go.
我们到外面去 那里安全 Let's go outside where it's safe.
也没有捕熊器 Where there's no bear traps.
我觉得我吃到蜘蛛网了 I think I swallowed some web.
哥们 这边 快 快 Dude, this way. Come on. Come on.
在那里 Up there.
哦 Oh...
就是从那间房里传出来的 It's coming from that room.
汉娜 Hannah?
太奇怪了 好像噪音 That's weird. It's like the noise
是从这个书架里传出来的 is coming from this bookcase.
呃 这是个老房子 Well, it's an old house.
哇哦 快看这个 Whoa. Check this out.
《稻草人夜行》 The scarecrow walks at midnight.
《邻屋幽灵》 《木偶惊魂》 The ghost next door, night of the living dummy.
全是惊悚恐怖的书 These are all goosebumps manuscripts.
他弄这一堆儿童读物是想干嘛 What's he doing with a bunch of kids' books?
这不是儿童读物好吗 These aren't kids' books. Okay?
儿童读物是助眠的 Kids' books help you fall asleep.
这些书是助你失眠的 These books keep you up all night.
好吧 “R.L.斯坦” Okay. "R.L. Stine."
这人怎么了 Whatever happened to that guy?
呃 谁知道呢 大概某天失踪了吧 Uh, who knows? He disappeared one day.
这很重要吗 走吧 Does it matter? Let's go.
帕萨迪纳市的雪人 The abominable snowman of Pasadena.
我祖母就住在帕萨迪纳市 My grandma lives in Pasadena.
自打我看过这书之后我就再也没去过 I stopped visiting after reading this.
够了 Okay.
我们不是来这儿开读书会的 We're not here for book club.
我知道 可是为什么这些书要锁起来呢 I know, but why are these books locked?
我是说 有谁会锁一本书呢 I mean, who would lock a book?
或许这里有把钥匙或是什么 Maybe there's like a key or something
能让我们打开这本书 we can unlock it with.
好吧 如果这件事真有那么重要的话 看这个 行了吧 Okay, if it really matters that much, look at this. All right?
谜团解开了 Mystery solved.
让我们重新回到 小心 Let's get back to why-- look out!
扎克 Zach?
嗨 汉娜 Hey, Hannah.
你们在我家干什么 What are you doing in my house?
我以为你被锁起来了 大概 I thought you were chained up, possibly.
你为什么会这么想 因为我听见了你的尖叫 Why did you think that? Because I heard you scream,
之后 我叫了 警察 and then I called the... Police.
好的 你们现在就给我朝右走 Okay, both of you need to go right now.
是 好的 等等 一 就一秒钟 Yes. Okay. Wait. One-- one second.
嗨 你好 我叫钱普 很高兴见到你 Hi. Hi, I'm champ. Nice to meet you.
那个 我们一会儿要去一个正式的舞会 Hey, we're going to the semiformal later tonight,
我不清楚 你可不可以带一个女生一起过来 and I don't know, you should come and invite a friend.
我真的不介意她的长相 I really don't care what she looks like.
你把书上的锁解开了吗 Did you unlock a book?
呃 是的 很抱歉 因为钥匙就在附近 Yeah. I did. I'm sorry. It's around somewhere.
我没再做什么 现在就把它放回原处 I just dropped it. And I'll put it back where it belongs
给你添麻烦了 这是 and we'll be out of your hair. Here it is--
不 别打开 no! Don't open it!
不 No!
到底怎么回事 不许发出声音 What's going on? Nobody make a sound.
我爸爸会杀了我的 My dad's gonna kill me.
等等 扎克 Wait! Zach!
扎克 Zach!
等等 汉娜 Wait, Hannah.
汉娜 汉娜 等等 Hannah. Hannah, wait.
回家去吧 扎克 这已经不是你力所能及的了 Go home, Zach. You're in over your head.
你得告诉我这到底怎么回事 You wanna tell me what's going on?
不 来不及解释 我必须去追它 No, I can't explain. I have to go.
扎克 等等 等等 Zach, wait. Wait.
求你了 听我说 Come on. Listen.
停下 停下 停下 哥们儿 你在干什么 Stop. Stop. Stop. Dude, what are you doing?
哥们儿 哥们儿 放开我 Dude. Dude, get off me.
认真听我说 那个就是可恶的雪人 Listen to me very carefully. That's the abominable snowman.
你不是偶然得知这个绰号的 You don't get that nickname by accident.
它刚刚从书里爬出来了 And it just crawled out of a book.
这根本不可能发生 扎克 That doesn't just happen, Zach!
我要去追汉娜 I'm going after Hannah.
听着 我读过它在帕萨迪纳市做过的事 Look, I read what it did to Pasadena.
不是开玩笑 It's no joke, man.
她进那里了 She went in there.
是的 她又不是唯一进去的 Yeah. She's not the only one who went in there.
哥们儿 我们得叫警察 Dude, we should call the cops.
你见过这个镇上的警察吗 Have you met the cops in this town?
说的也是 Fair enough.
你看见墙上的刮痕了吗 Do you see the scratches on that wall?
嗯 Yes.
确认一下 Just making sure.
啊 那是你的叫声 Oh! Is that your scream?
别怪我 Don't judge me.
这儿 Over here.
这边 This way.
她要干嘛 读那个故事吗 What is she gonna do, read it a story?
汉娜 发生了什么 它是怎么从书里蹦出来的 Hannah? What is happening? How did that pop out of a book?
嘘 它就在这儿 我们得弄把枪来 Shh. It's in here. Hey, we should get a gun.
你搞笑吗 我们得弄个坦克 Are you kidding? We need a tank.
等等 他是雪做的 Wait. He's made out of snow.
喷火器 盐袋 Flamethrower. Bag of salt.
喷火器 安静 Flamethrower. Quiet.
它不能死 He can't be killed.
糖果 It's candy.
当心 Look out!
快跑 他没注意到我们 Come on. It's distracted.
- 汉娜 快点 快走 - 不 你们在干嘛 - Hannah, come on. Let's go. - No, what are you doing?
放开 别 停下来 不 你们不懂 Get off. No. Stop it! No, you don't understand.
唯一能阻止它们的办法就是把它们吸回书里 The only way to stop them is to suck them back into the book.
把书留下让它自己进去 Drop the book and let it suck itself back in.
不行 我还不够接近它 No, I'm not close enough.
你在干嘛 把书打开 What are you doing? Just open the book.
等等 Just wait.
- 汉娜 把书打开 - 还不行 - Hannah, open the book. - Not yet.
汉娜 现在 Hannah! Now!
书 The book.
汉娜 你干嘛 Hannah, what are you doing?
汉娜 啊 Hannah. Huh?
不 不 No. No.
别让它得到那本书 Don't let it get the book!
你还好吗 恩 Are you okay? Yeah.
伙计们 快点 快走 快 快 Guys, come on, let's go! Come on. Come on.
这边 快 Over here! Come on!
- 快 - 好主意 快开车 - Come on. - Good idea. Punch it.
坏主意 坏主意 从那上面下来 Bad idea. Bad idea. Get off that thing.
啊 Aah!
跑 Run.
快 这边 伙计们 快点 这边 Hurry, this way. Guys, come on. In here.
伙计们 快点 快 Guys, come on. Hurry!
好样的 yes.
哇啊 Whoa!
你们全都去车里 立刻 All of you in the car, now!
你要对我们做什么 What are you gonna do to us?
安静 Silence.
- 我们不能提问吗 - 闭嘴 - We can't ask questions--? - Shut up!
爸爸 他们是想帮忙来着 Dad, they were only trying to help.
我告诉过你远离我们 不然会有不好的事情发生 I told you to stay away from us, or something bad would happen.
但今天你们这些小孩就出现问题 你们就是不听我的话 But that's the problem with kids today. They don't listen.
你们为什么要选帕萨迪纳的雪人 You had to pick abominable snowman of Pasadena.
选个商店的小仓鼠不好吗 You couldn't have picked little shop of hamsters.
你就是作者 对吧 You're him, aren't you?
- 你就是R.L斯坦 - R.L谁 - You're r.L. Stine. - R.L. Who?
我不知道那是谁 I don't know who that is.
噢 真的吗 Oh, really?
好吧 那也没事儿 因为他的书写的太烂了 Well, just as well, because his books suck.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我不知道我更讨厌哪个 I can't decide which one I hate more:
《血魔》或《去吃虫子》 Monster blood or go eat worms!
我不明白 I'm so confused.
这两本书结局虽然大不相同 You see the endings coming from a mile away.
但是感觉这个作者是在模仿史蒂芬·金 It's like stop trying to be Stephen king, man.
让我来告诉你一些关于史蒂芬·金的事情 Let me tell you something about Steve king.
史蒂芬·金一直想成为我一样的作家 Steve king wishes he could write like me,
而且我的书比他的畅销的多 and I've sold way more books than him,
但是从没有人说过你这样的话 but nobody ever talks about that!
好吧 不谈书了 Okay. Way more books!
爸爸 哼 Dad... Aah!
你的脸又红起来了 ...your face is doing the red thing again.
不是吧 No way.
等下 你是R.L斯坦 真是你吗 Wait, you're r.L. Stine? That's you?
真的吗 真的吗 Really? Really?
嘿 我可以拍张照吗 Hey, can I get a picture real quick?
- 不行 不行 - 来嘛 来嘛 - No. No. - Come on. Come on.
- 快说茄子 - 我说不拍 - The answer's "Yes." - I said no.
什么 我 不 把你手机拿开 What? I-- no! Get that thing out of here!
对不起 我只是想拍张照放到我的INSTAGRAM上 I'm sorry. I just wanted a photo real quick for my instagram.
哦 就那样是吧 给我看看你拍的 Oh, is that all? Let me see.
噢 好的 给你 谢谢你 Oh, yeah. Here you go. Thank you.
嘿 嘿 现在怎么办 Hey, hey, what happens now?
你回家 穿上睡衣 You go home, put on your p.J.'S,
盖上被子 睡你的觉 get your blankie, you go nap-nap.
明早醒来 你就当这是做的恶梦 In the morning, this will all just feel like a bad dream.
爸爸 等下 没时间了 收拾东西吧 Dad, wait. There's no time. Start packing.
我们又要搬家了 We're moving again.
那么 你现在想做什么 So, what do you wanna do now?
扎克 兄弟 Zach, dude.
- 但是我不想搬走 - 我喜欢这儿 - But I don't wanna leave. - I like it here.
汉娜 你要理解下 Hannah, you have to understand.
我不需要理解任何事 I don't have to understand anything.
我们为什么不能正常一回 Why can't we be normal for once?
因为我们不是正常的家庭 你快去收拾你的东西 Because we're not a normal family. Now go get your things.
我受够了 I'm so over this.
啊 年轻人 Oh! Teenagers.
我可以杀了你 I could've killed you.
你扔的好差劲 怎么杀 That was a terrible throw. How?
你们在这儿干什么 回家吧 What are you doing here? Go home.
不 除非你告诉我这到底是怎么回事儿 No. Not until you explain what's going on.
不 不 不 我不会解释的 No, no, no. I can't explain it.
我们差点就被那个雪人吃了 We were almost just eaten by frosty the snowman,
这应该是不可能发生的事情 所以 快告诉我们 which should be impossible, by the way, so try.
好的 是这样 Okay, look...
我怎么说呢 是在我小的时候 Where do I begin? When I was younger,
我因为严重的过敏一直呆在家里 I suffered from terrible allergies that kept me indoors.
所有的小孩都朝我的窗户扔石头 And all the kids threw rocks at my window
还给我取外号 and called me names.
所以我只能自己创造朋友 So I created my own friends.
怪物 恶魔 食尸鬼 去吓唬我的邻居 Monsters, demons, ghouls to terrorize my neighborhood
去吓唬取笑我的小孩子 and all the kids that made fun of me.
但是后来它们真的出现了 And they became real to me.
在某一天 它们真的 And then one day, they actually...
真正存在了 Became real.
我创造的怪物们会从书上出来 My monsters literally leapt off the page.
只要那些书是锁着的 我们就是安全的 As long as the books remain locked, we're safe.
但是若是书打开了 But when they open,
嗯 你们已经知道会发生什么了 well, you've just seen what happens.
我对尘螨过敏 I'm allergic to dust mites.
你想表达什么 What's your point?
我只是说 我也有过敏 I'm just saying, I have allergies too.
所以我理解你 So I understand.
我干嘛要和你讲话 汉娜 走吧 Why am I talking to you? Hannah, let's go.
汉娜 抱歉 Hannah! I'm sorry.
我们走 Let's go.
汉娜 你拿A到M的书 我拿M到Z的 Hannah, you grab a to m, I'll get m to z.
把《食人花》和《爆眼外星人》分开放 And keep the man-eating plant away from the bug-eyed aliens.
哦 不 不要是他啊 Oh, no. Not him.
你好 爸爸 Hello, papa.
多久没见了啊 How long's it been?
恍若隔世啊 Feels like forever.
你的新朋友吗 Who are your new friends?
我们不是朋友 刚认识他 We're not friends. Barely know him.
斯拉比 再次见到你很高兴 Slappy, it's so nice to see you again.
你有想我吗 Did you miss me?
当然 我想你啊 Of course I missed you.
那么 有什么计划吗 朋友 So, what's the plan, friend?
你放我出来肯定是要好好玩一下 You must've brought me out for something fun.
吓吓当地的人们 摧毁这个镇子 Terrorize the locals? Destroy the town?
让我们疯狂一下吧 Let's get silly.
你猜的对 斯拉比 You guessed it, slappy.
我准备摧毁麦迪逊 而我 I'm going to destroy Madison, and I--
没有你没法做到 and I couldn't do it without you.
啊 呸 你让我 Aw, shucks. You're giving me--
那个词叫什么来着 oh, what's the word?
起鸡皮疙瘩 Goosebumps.
噢 我的天 他好可怕 Oh, my god. He's so creepy.
噢 他是很有趣的 Oh, he is such a crack-up.
如此聪明的假人 Such a clever dummy.
你说谁是假人呢 蠢货 Who are you calling "Dummy," Dummy?
你想让我回到书里面 You're trying to put me back in?
不 不 不 不 不 不 怎么会呢 No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't be silly.
我知道你在骗我 爸爸 I know when you're lying to me, papa.
你让斯拉比很生气 You've made slappy very unhappy.
他再也不想呆在书架上了 He's not going back on the shelf ever again.
斯拉比 不 等等 Slappy, no, wait!
我觉得是时候 I think it's time I started
由我来主导我们间的关系了 pulling the strings in this relationship.
今晚发生的事情将是你所写过的最好的故事 Tonight is gonna be the best story you've ever written.
你的孩子们都会出来一起玩 All of your children are coming out to play.
哦 感谢上帝 他走了 Oh, thank god he's gone.
哦 天 他走了 Oh, god. He's gone.
他带走了所有的书 And he's taken all the books.
那是本好书啊 That one's a real page-Turner.
恭喜你 你刚释放了个恶魔 - Congratulations. - You've just released a demon.
一个有着拿破仑谋略的口技假人 A ventriloquist dummy with a serious napoleonic complex.
我只打开了一本书 所以那本是个意外 I only opened one book, and now I see that was a mistake.
肯定是雪人把斯拉比的书撞开了 The snowman must've knocked slappy's book down.
这事儿还是怪你 我不喜欢你 小子 - I still blame him. - I don't like you, boy.
门被从外面锁住了 It's locked from the outside.
从厨房门出去 快走 Out the kitchen door. Go now.
这个小人怎么在这儿 我也不知道 Why is that here? I don't know.
也许他们没有恶意 Maybe they're friendly.
绝对有恶意 他们绝对有满满的恶意 Not friendly. Definitely not friendly.
噢 Ooh.
他抓住我的脸了 He's stuck to my face.
绝对是有满满的恶意 Definitely not friendly.
爸爸 啊 Dad! Aah!
坚持住 我来帮你 Hold on. I'll save you.
对不起 对不起 你还好吗 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
准备 绑住了 走起 Ready, set, go.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
帮我 哦 不 不 不 帮我 来个人啊 Help me. Oh, no, no, no. Help, someone.
让开 让开 Get back. Get back.
让开 Get back.
嘿哟 嘿哟 Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
嘿哟 Heave-ho.
帮我 帮我 把它们弄走 好的 好的 Help me. Help me. Get them off. Okay, okay.
嘿哟 嘿哟 Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
快点啊 Quickly.
关上 关上 Shut it. Shut it.
全都弄进去了吗 嘿哟 嘿哟 - Did you get them all? Heave-ho. Heave-ho....
帮我解开 Untie me.
和我想的不一样啊 I imagined something different.
来我家 这里有很多女孩 "Come over to my house. There will be girls.
我是你的同伴 I'm your wingman."
哦 不 不 不 不 我们要离开这儿 Oh, no, no, no. We got to get out of here.
我们去地下室 We need to get to the basement.
是锁着的 我弄开了 It's locked. I picked it.
那是非法入侵 That's breaking and entering!
注意捕熊的陷阱 Watch out for the bear traps.
为什么你要弄捕熊的陷阱 Why'd it have to be bear traps?
好吧 快点 快点 跟上 - All right, come on. Hurry. - Come on.
锁住 锁住 好的 - Lock it! Lock it! - Okay.
为什么你不写一些故事 Why couldn't you have written stories
关于彩虹或独角兽 about rainbows and unicorns?
因为那些玩意儿卖不了4亿本 Because that doesn't sell 400 million copies.
哇哦 在国内吗 Whoa, domestic?
不 全世界范围 No, worldwide.
但也是很厉害了 闭嘴 It's still very impressive. Shut up.
那是什么 What is that?
他把书烧了 为什么他要这么做 He's burning the books. Why's he doing that?
这样的话 那些怪物就无法被收回书里了 So there's no way to get the monsters back inside.
这是斯拉比的复仇 It's slappy's revenge.
《斯拉比的复仇》 那是个好书名 Slappy's revenge. That's a good title.
不好意思 朋友 我想开慢点 Sorry, folks. I'd slow down,
但我踩不到刹车 but I can't reach the brake.
嘿 快来看看我的新畅销书 Hey, check out my new best seller.
蔓延开来吧 It'll grow on you.
通讯中断将会是这个镇上最小的问题 Dropped calls are gonna be the least of this town's problems.
我玩儿的好疯狂啊 I'm driving myself crazy!
小镇被入侵了 通讯中断了 - The town has been invaded. - Communications are down.
我在说大规模的混乱 没有人知道如何制止 We're talking mass chaos, and no one knows how to stop it.
你觉得怎么样 What do you think?
我不确定 我不 我不知道 I'm not sure. I-- I'm not-- I don't know.
是陨星怪物 It's the blob.
电影陨星怪物 最初由史蒂夫·麦奎因主演的啊 The blob. The original one with Steve McQueen.
噢 不不敢相信你居然没看过那部电影 Oh, I can't believe you don't know that movie.
来我家 我有它的光碟 Come over to my house. I got it on laserdisc.
我们 We'll wa--
又停电了 power went out again.
天啊 晚上老是这样 God. All night with this.
好吧 那些应急灯应该很快会亮起来 Well, these emergency lights should kick on soon.
有人把腹语假人落在这儿了 Somebody left their ventriloquist dummy.
你喊谁假人呢 Who you calling "Dummy"?
他会说话 这是什么东西 It's talking. What is that thing?
我为和平而来 没有武装 I come in peace. Unarmed.
我只是想给你们讲个睡前故事 I just wanna read you a bedtime story.
- 先生 闭嘴 - 好的 - Sir, shut your mouth. - Okay.
但是你还是阻止不了我啊 Because that's not gonna stop me.
- 把手放在我看得到的地方 - 警官 - Hands where I can see them. - Officers!
你被解除职务了 哈哈 You've been relieved of your duties. Ha, ha!
现在 冻结吧 Now, freeze.
有人吗 Hello?
哦 你好啊 小家伙 你肯定迷路了 Oh, hello, cutie. You must be lost.
哦 没有标牌 Oh, and no tags.
好吧 给你点水喝吧 Well, let's get you some water.
我们会带你到附近逛逛 We'll take you around the neighborhood
我们会找到你的主人 and we'll find your owner.
他长得帅吗 他还单身吗 Is he handsome? Is he single?
他有想过下定决心离开他的妻子吗 Is he thinking about leaving his wife and needs a push?
好的 别弄洒了 All right. Trying not to spill.
不要笨手笨脚的 罗琳 Don't be clumsy, Lorraine.
好吧 你肯定很渴 Okay, you must be so thirsty.
镇上所有的人都被冻住了 Everyone in town's been frozen.
喔 我的天呐 喔 我的天 爸 老爸 发生了 Oh, my god. Oh, my god, dad. Dad, what happened to--?
等一下 Wait.
喔 喔 感谢上苍 Oh. Oh, thank god.
伙计们 虚惊一场 不是我老爸 Guys, false alarm. It's not my dad.
我们怎么办 What are we going to do?
没有原稿 Without those manuscripts,
我们什么也干不了 there's nothing I can do.
如果 如果你写过怪物可以从书中出来 If-- if you wrote the monsters off the page,
那么也就有办法可以写他们回到书中 then maybe there's a way you could write them back on.
等等 是 是啊 是啊 为什么不那样做呢 Wait-- yeah, yeah, yeah! Why don't you just do that?
你根本就不知道我要写多少故事去 You have any idea how many stories I'd have to write
抓住我创造的怪物 to capture every monster I've created?
我双手早已写断了 I already have carpal tunnel in both hands.
爸爸 听他的 是个不错的主意 Dad, just listen to him. It's a great idea.
就一个 一个故事抓住所有的怪物 Just one. One story to capture them all.
嗯 说得容易 就一个 一个故事 Hmm, simple. Just one, one story,
抓住我创造的所有怪物 with every monster I've ever created.
真聪明 真是个好主意 他是一个看守者 Brilliant. Really good idea. He's a keeper.
你有更好的主意吗 You have a better idea?
嗯 哼 嗯 哼 Mm-hm, mm-hm.
一个好得多的主意 A much better idea.
不 现在没有 我没有 但是 No, not now, I don't, but--
好了 那么我们得给你找一台电脑 okay, then we gotta get you to a computer
你就可以开始写作 这有 so you can start writing. There's--
这儿有一个电脑专卖店 只需要闯进去 there's a computer store. Just break in.
不 不 不 我需要用我的打字机 No, no, no. I need my typewriter.
- 什么 - 我所写的每个故事 - What? - Every story I've written
是在史密斯·可乐娜完成的 不只是我 was on that Smith corona. It's not just me.
那个打字机很特殊 That typewriter is special.
它是有灵性的 It has a soul of its own.
如果我在其他上面写 是没有用的 If I write on anything else, it won't work.
打字机在哪里 Where's the typewriter?
喔 别担心 Oh, don't worry.
在某个安全的地方 It's somewhere safe.
快点 come on.
拜托 拜托 拜托 Come on, come on, come on.
只要给我一格信号 Just give me one bar.
之前还有用的 This was working earlier.
拿头来 啊 Brains. Aah!
很抱歉 我无意吓唬你 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
我是说 我是想吓你 但是用一种幽默的方式 I mean, I did mean to scare you, but in a playful way.
那么 啊 一切还好吗 So, uh, is everything okay?
很抱歉 我得联系上我的儿子 I'm sorry, I have to get hold of my son,
但是我手机没有信号 and I can't get any service.
是啊 今晚都收不到信号 真奇怪 Yeah. No one can tonight. It's weird.
我不知道我手机出什么问题了 I don't know what's going on with my phone.
我收不到信号 I can't get reception.
斯拉比弄毁了信号塔 Slappy's taken out the cell-phone towers.
那也是我曾经做过的 That's what I'd do.
他在分离我们 孤立我们 He'cutting us off. Isolating us.
那是什么声音 What was that?
呸 是隐形男孩 他对我们是一个威胁 Ugh, it's the invisible boy. He's a menace.
哦 Ow!
把它推出窗外 Shove him out the window.
摇起窗户 Roll up the window.
夹住了他的尾巴 救命 救命啊 He's got his tie! Help, help!
抓紧了 Hold on.
不好玩 Not cool!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
是的 当然 Yeah. For sure.
是啊 等等 等等 小心前面 Yeah. Wait. Wait, look out!
- 你还好吧 - 没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah.
都还好吧 Everyone okay?
它突然就出现了 It came out of nowhere.
我都不记得我写过一只巨螳螂 I don't remember writing about a giant praying mantis.
好吧 现在我想起来了 Right. Now I remember.
快离开这儿 Get us out of here!
你在做什么 看不到路我没法开车 What are you doing? I can't drive if I can't see.
只管开就行了 Just go!
喔 我的天呐 Oh, my god!
小心 左转 Watch out! Turn left!
不要开直路 Stop driving straight!
- 它追上来了 向右转 - 加大油门 - He's catching up! Turn right! - Step on it!
有人想要开车吗 我可以把车停到路边了 Does someone else wanna drive? I'll pull over right now.
为什么你会想制造这些畸形的怪物 Why'd you come up with something so freaky?
我想 我是有诀窍的 I just have a knack for it, I guess.
喔 不 我的牧马人 Oh, no. My wagoneer.
这车还没有开多久 I had such low mileage on it.
我们离中学还有多远 How far are we from the high school?
不远了 Not too far.
我们可以从墓地抄近路 We can cut through the cemetery.
抱歉 墓地 I'm sorry, a cemetery?
天呐 放松点 穿过森林就是中学了 God, relax. The high school's just past the woods.
等等 你怎么知道 Wait, how do you know that?
啊 有时我会发点神经出去浪一下 Uh, sometimes I get a little stir-crazy and go exploring.
什么时候 在你上床睡觉之后 When? At night after you go to bed.
- 你被禁足了 - 那不公平 - You're grounded. - That is so unfair.
- 不 很公平 - 你们都说都对 - No, it's fair. - You're bringing up good points,
但是在你生气的时候我们还得继续走 but let's keep moving while you argue.
在大半夜和陌生的男孩子偷溜出去 Sneaking off in the middle of the night with strange boys.
真是难以置信啊 闭上你的鸟嘴 Unbelievable. Shut it.
嘿 嘿 我可以向你借一美元吗 Hey, hey, do you have a dollar I could borrow?
什么 不 为什么 我渴死了 What? No. Why? I'm parched.
好吧 只是一美元 我相信他们会理解你的 Well, just take one. I'm sure they'll understand.
真的吗 哈 Really? Ha!
柠檬水 葡萄酒 草莓糖浆 Lemonade, grape or strawberry?
老天爷啊 这儿 橙汁 Good god, man. Here. Orange.
我不知道我在想什么 I don't know what I was thinking.
这儿的路居然比纽约还多 There is way more going on here than New York.
怎么了 啊 你割伤了 What? Uh, you cut yourself.
严重吗 啊 是的 很严重 Is it bad? Uh, yeah. It's really bad.
我脸毁容了吗 Is my face messed up?
是啊 毁了很多 Yeah. Big time.
毁得看起来完全一样 You look exactly the same.
你听到了吗 Did you hear that?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
那可是鸡皮疙瘩中的狼人 That's the werewolf of fever swamp.
它可以闻到我的气味 He can smell my scent.
不 没用的 我得藏起来 No, it's not working. I have to hide.
快点 Come on.
嘘 不 不 不要 Shh, no, no, no.
做点什么啊 Do something.
快点 快点 快点 Come on, come on. Come on.
快点 走 走 走 Come on. Go, go, go.
它在追我们 快跑 He's on our tail. Go.
跑 它就在我们的后边 Go! He's right behind us!
快点 跑 跑 Come on. Go, go.
喔 Oh!
我被卡住了 快来帮我 I'm stuck. Help me get out.
你在干什么 没时间了 What are you doing? There's no time!
我说了把我弄出来 快点跑 没时间了 I said get me out of here. Gotta go. There's no time.
弄我出来 喔 不 继续跑 它在追我们 I said get me out-- oh, no. Keep going. He's chasing us.
我正在拼尽全力跑 I'm going as fast as I can.
快跑 我们就跟在你们的背后 好 Just go. We're right behind you. Okay!
啊 喔 Aah! Oh!
快点 我们得走了 起来 起来 Come on. We gotta go. Get up. Get up.
快点 快点 伙计们 快跑 Come on, come on! Let's go, guys!
快点 快点 快点 Come on, come on, come on.
哈哈 看看它还能穿过来不 Ha! Let's see him get through that.
走 快走 跑 快跑 Go, go! Run, run!
- 锁住了 - 走这边 - It's locked. - This way.
我很好 I'm okay.
我还是很好 I'm still okay!
她是谁 我姨妈罗琳 Who is that? It's my aunt Lorraine.
喔 天呐 Oh, my gosh.
我觉得我杀了那只熊 I think I killed that bear.
事实上它是一只狼人 什么 It was actually a werewolf. What?
罗琳姨妈 你在这儿干什么 Aunt Lorraine, what are you doing here?
这是我商店的后面 我不知道去哪里 This is the back of my store. I didn't know where else to go.
我没法联系上你的妈妈 警察还有其它人 I can't get ahold of your mother or the cops or anyone...
你好 啊 嗨 你好 Hello. Uh, hi. Hello.
嗨 我觉得我们还没有进行自我介绍 Hi. I don't think we've been properly introduced.
嗯 我是 我是罗琳 Um-- I'm-- I'm Lorraine.
你好 R.L.斯坦 Hello. R.L. Stine.
你对我们真是恩重如山 We owe you a great debt of gratitude.
你的鲁莽驾驶救了我们的命 Your reckless driving saved our lives.
喔 刚才那件事吗 Oh, that old thing?
罗琳 罗琳 Lorraine. Lorraine.
那么 罗琳 So... Lorraine.
我们没时间了 我需要你去警察局 We don't have time. I need you to go to the police station
告诉他们和我们在中学碰面 and tell them to meet us at the high school.
- 好吗 你能做到吗 - 我能做到 好的 - All right? Can you do that? - I can do that. Okay.
喔 你想互相留下电话号码吗 Oh, did you wanna exchange numbers?
现在不是好时候 但是我想 It's not a good time, but yes!
喔 天呐 这可不妙 Oh, god, this is a bad idea.
那是什么 What was that?
你还好吗 是 是的 是的 You okay? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
是的 只是一个树根 没什么可怕的 Yeah. Just a root. Nothing scary here.
那么你为什么要取绰号叫'钱普'呢 So how did you get the nickname "Champ"?
不是一个绰号 It's not a nickname.
等一下 那是你的真实姓名 还是一些缩写 Wait. That's your real name? Is it short for something?
我的全名是冠军 My full name is champion.
你的真实姓名是冠军 Your actual name is champion.
抱歉 Sorry.
我老爸在92年的奥林匹克运动会上 My dad won a bronze
- 夺得了铜牌 - 真的吗 - back in the '92 Olympics. - Really?
我的妈妈 她是一名美国短跑选手 My mom, she was an all-American sprinter
还是一个两届世界辩论赛的冠军 and a two-time world debate champion.
所以他们叫我'钱普' So they named me "Champ."
嘿 你知道 如果你害怕 我可以抓紧你的手 Hey, you know, if you're scared, I can hold your hand.
拜托 你才是胆小鬼呢 Please, you're the scaredy-cat.
等等 等等 镇定 没事的 只是一个石像 Wait, wait. Hold on. It's okay. It's just a statue.
好了吗 你没事的 All right? You're fine.
没事的 对吗 It's all right. All right?
等一等 它 Just give me a sec. It's--
它套住了你的夹克 it's caught on your jacket.
我的英雄 My hero.
你可以走动了 There. You're free to go.
怎么了 What is it?
没什么 Nothing.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
是 Yeah.
是 十分肯定 我 Yeah, totally. I'm fi--
扎克 Zach!
跑 Run!
食尸鬼 跑 跑 Ghouls. Go, go.
它们越来越近了 Oh, they're getting closer!
跑 这儿 跑 跑 快点 快点 跑 跑 快跑 Go. Here. Go. Go. Come on. Come on. Go, go, go.
快点 快 快 快 Hurry, quick, quick, quick.
我卡住了 I'm stuck.
- 你快先走 先救你自己 - 好的 保重 - Go on without me. Save yourself. - Okay. Good luck.
不是 我只是说说而已 冠军 No, I didn't mean it, champion!
什么样的怪物会真的答应我刚才的要求 What kind of monster would take me up on that offer?
拉我 大家快一起拉我出来 Pull. Everybody pull.
我要杀了他 那个蠢蛋在哪 I'll kill him. Where is that little imbecile?
等我们一下 你个胆小鬼 Wait for us, you coward!
你可以的 罗琳 你可以的 All right. Okay, Lorraine. You got this.
只要告诉警察到高中去 Just tell the cops to head to the high school
所有人都遇到麻烦了就可以了 and that everyone's in trouble.
你可以做到 You can do this. Okay.
噢 不对 不是这个门 Oh! Nope. Wrong door.
你好 Hello?
这里有人在吗 Is anyone in here?
呼叫警察 呼叫所有警察 Calling all cops, calling all the cops.
请到高中去 我侄子遇到麻烦了 Head to the high school. My nephew's in trouble.
他和R.L.斯坦在一起 He's with R.L. Stine.
他们认为他们知道如何阻止这一切 They think they know how to stop all this.
喂 有人听到我讲话吗 Hello? Can anyone hear me?
我听到了 I can hear you.
警察队长斯拉比 随时准备保护以及服务大众 Sergeant slappy, ready to protect and serve.
我的老天爷 Oh, my goodness.
- 你是 - 别 - You're... - Don't do it.
- 一个会说话的 - 别说出来 - ...A talking... - Don't say it.
- 假人 - 你说出来了 - ...dummy. - You said it.
你有保持沉默的权力 You have the right to remain silent.
他们把我的打字机放哪去了 Where did they put my typewriter?
我肯定是这个方向 也没准是那个方向 I know it was this way. It might've been the other way.
- 我们或许应该分开走 - 什么 不行 - We should split up. - What? No.
你读过你自己写的书吗 Have you ever read one of your books?
我们永远都不能分开走 We're never supposed to split up.
快点 这里能有几个展示箱啊 Come on. How many display cases could there be?
- 你碰我 - 对 等一下 - You're touching me. - Yeah. Hang on a second.
- 汉娜不知道 对吧 - 不知道什么 - Hannah doesn't know, does she? - She doesn't know what?
不知道她不是真的 That she's not real.
她认为她是一个真人 She thinks she's a person, okay?
而不是你凭想象创造出来的虚拟人物 Not just some figment of your imagination.
你怎么能 你怎么能骗她 How could-- how could you lie to her?
我在保护她 I was trying to protect her!
哦 真的吗 那你做的真好啊 Oh, yeah? Well, good job with that.
我的这个礼物是一个诅咒 This gift of mine is a curse.
你不知道我一直以来有多孤独 直到汉娜出现 You have no idea how lonely it's been until Hannah.
汉娜不一样 She's different.
我特意把她写得让她以为她是真的 I wrote her in such a way that she thinks she's real,
而且她对我来说就是真的 扎克 and she is real to me, Zach.
我不奢望你能懂 I don't expect you to understand.
事实上 我懂 Actually, I do.
我害怕失去她 I'm afraid of losing her.
事实上 我害怕一个人孤孤单单的 And the truth is, I'm afraid of being alone.
我可能在你这个年纪的时候 I suppose I stopped connecting with real people
就不再与真人交往了 when I was your age.
我爸死了之后 我也把所有人隔绝在外了 After my dad died, I shut everyone out too.
也许我们可以一起重新开始 Maybe we can both start over,
如果明天我们还活着的话 if we're alive tomorrow.
你原来在这 你还好吗 There you are. Are you okay?
你看起来像刚见了鬼一样 You look like you just saw a ghost.
快跟我来 我们找到打字机了 Okay. Well, come on. We found the typewriter.
哦我亲爱的 我想死你了 亲一个 Oh, my sweet darling, I've missed you so much. Mwah.
好了 开始写吧 All right, so start writing.
嗯 但是故事是怎样的 Yes, but what's the story?
什么意思 怪物输了 好人赢了 故事结束了 What do you mean? Monsters lose, good guys win, the end.
不 不 不 这样不行 No, no, no. It doesn't work
这必须是一个真的让人起鸡皮疙瘩的故事 unless it's a real goosebumps story,
有反转 有转折 有恐怖 with twists and turns and frights.
更要有我们的英雄的自我成长 Not to mention some personal growth for our hero.
啥 What?
去体育馆 警告所有人 Go to the gym. Warn everyone.
让他们隔离这所学校 Tell them to barricade the school.
你去哪 Where are you going?
去找个写作的地方 To find someplace to write.
斯拉比会来找我的 Slappy's going to come for me.
我有截止日期 真正的死亡期限 I have a deadline, literally.
现在快走 Now go.
不可思议 Unbelievable.
# 关掉 关掉 关掉 # # Off, off, off #
# 把脑袋停掉 # # Off with your head #
# 跳舞 跳到生命的尽头 # # Dance, dance till you're dead #
# 头在转 头在转 # # Heads will roll heads will roll #
# 头在地上转 # # Heads will roll on the floor #
不好意思 Excuse me.
不好意思 借过一下 Sorry. Coming through.
快点 我们要到台上去 Come on. We gotta get to the stage.
# 头在转 头在转 # # Heads will roll heads will roll #
# 头在地上转 # # Heads will roll on the floor #
那么这就是高中的舞会 So this is what a high-school dance is like.
呃 对 一般情况下他们舞会跳得更好一点 Uh, yeah. Usually the dancing's better.
但是大概的样子就是你看到的 But you get the idea.
他们现在管这个叫跳舞吗 That what they call dancing now?
- 我不知道 - 扎克 - I'm not sure. - Zach.
- 妈 妈 - 扎克 - Mom. Mom. - Zach.
我担心死了 你和罗琳我一个都联系不到 I was so worried. I couldn't get hold of you or Lorraine.
我知道 我知道 妈 在这的所有人都处于危险中 I know. I know. Mom, everyone here is in danger.
- 我们必须隔离这所学校 - 哦不 扎克 不要再来一次了 - We have to barricade the school. - Oh, no, Zach. Not this again.
他讲的是实话 嗨 我是汉娜 我住隔壁 He's telling you the truth. I'm Hannah. I live next door.
好了 All right.
同学们 听清楚了 Okay, everyone, listen up. Okay?
大家 请你们一定要认真听 Okay. Everybody, you gotta listen up--
- 钱普 下来 - 我要告诉你们一些事 - Champ, get down. - I have something to say.
呃 好吧 呃 Uh, okay, uh....
我的朋友扎克有话要说 Listen to my best friend Zach.
- 就 就告诉他们就行了 - 谢了啊兄弟 - Just-- just tell them. - Thanks, champ.
嗯 行吧 唔 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Um...
你们大概觉得我们疯了 This is going to sound insane,
但是有一群怪兽攻击了麦迪逊 but monsters have invaded Madison.
伙计们 是真的 相信我们 Guys, it's the truth. Okay?
他讲的是实话 He's telling the truth. It's--
他真的没有撒谎 he's not making this up.
这群怪物堵住了所有出镇的路 They've blocked every road out of town,
他们还把信号塔毁了 they've torn down the cell towers,
我们变得与世隔绝了 and we've been cut off from the rest of the world.
而且他们随时都有可能开始攻击我们 And they could be coming for us any second,
所以我们需要 so we need to work to--
他是对的 He's right.
是魔鬼来了 而且他正在挖鼻屎呢 好怕怕啊 It's the boogeyman. And he's picking his nose.
这不是我编 I'm not making--
这有一只巨大的虫子 There's a giant bug,
它正吃着我们的车呢 and it's eating everybody's cars!
- 呃 不好笑了 兄弟 - 不是 是真的 - Uh, it's getting old, dude. - No, seriously!
他们来了 They're here.
现在这才是真正的省亲活动 Now, this is a real homecoming.
好了 所有人 大家冷静下来好吗 All right. Everyone, everyone, everyone calm down. Okay?
我知道 我知道怎么做 但是我一个人做不到 I know-- I know what to do, but I can't do it by myself.
拿着这个 Take this.
邀请我们剩下的朋友来参加派对 Invite the rest of our friends to the party.
看 这些怪物 Look. Those things out there,
他们是R.L.斯坦书里的怪物 they're R.L. Stine's monsters.
他在这 他可以让一切恢复原样 He's here, and he can fix this,
但是我们必须为他争取时间让他写完 but we need to buy him time to write.
不用担心 他写的很快 And don't worry, he's a very quick writer.
夜很寒冷 The night was cold.
寒冷之夜 Cold was the night.
走近点 别害羞 Come close. Don't be shy.
你们不会想错过这场表演的 You don't wanna miss the show.
好了 大家看着 这些是所有的出口 All right, everyone. These are all the exits.
找到所有你能找的东西把门堵上 Find anything you can to barricade the doors,
因为我们绝不能放那些怪物进来 because we cannot let the monsters inside.
快点 大家 我们没有时间了 Come on, guys. We don't have a lot of time.
摞起来 把椅子摞起来 Stack them up there. Stack them up.
来 快点 快点 好了 Come on, quickly. Quickly. Yes.
我所有的朋友都在这里 All my friends in one place.
我从没这么开心过 I've never been so happy.
我不想让这一天结束 I don't want this day to end.
而且这一天也不用结束 And it doesn't have to...
只要我们解决了斯坦 As long as we get rid of Stine.
开始 Charge!
走 走 走 这个撑不住的 快走 Go, go, go! It's not gonna hold! Go!
快走 快走 快跑 Go, go, go!
我们为和平而来 We come in peace.
- 我们应该帮忙 - 我们应该离开 - We should be helping. - We should be leaving.
啥 啥 What? What?
你去哪啊 Where are you going?
我们确定一定以及肯定地 分手了 We are so...Through.
不 不要 不 Please, no. Please.
不要 求你了 No, please.
我的天哪 你怎么做到的 Oh, my god. How'd you do that?
银质填料 我有好多牙洞 Silver fillings. I have a ton of cavities.
我十岁的时候 整整一年都没刷牙 When I was 10, I didn't brush my teeth for a whole year.
呃 狼人的头发 啊 Ugh, werewolf hair. Oh.
你救了我的命 呆瓜 You saved my life, chump.
其实我叫钱普 It's actually "Champ."
我只是想让你再抱我一次的 I was just gonna say "Hug me again,"
但是 嗯 嗯 这个也行 but yeah, yeah, that works too.
我们坚持不住了 他们太多了 We can't keep this up. There's too many.
我们必须去找到斯坦 We have to get to Stine.
- 走吧 - 好的 - Let's go. - Okay.
所有的怪物都到齐了 All the monsters had converged.
恶毒的吸血蝙蝠 The vicious vampire bats,
祈祷的蝙蝠 the praying mantis,
闹鬼的面具 the haunted mask...
忘了谁吗 Forgetting somebody?
斯拉比 Slappy.
你怎么找到我的 How did you find me?
我了解你 我创造了你 I know you. I created you.
还是你创造了我来着 Or is it the other way around?
我总是忘了 我们太像了 I always forget. We're so similar.
斯拉比 Slappy?
- 斯拉比 - 嗨 - Slappy? - Hi.
“所有在高中的人” "Everyone in the high school
“团结在一起去对抗斯拉比和他的部下们” joined forces to defeat slappy and his monsters."
嗯 但是斯拉比不想这么写 Hmm. But slappy had other ideas.
不 No.
爸 Dad!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
那个蠢货把我手指夹断了 That dumb dummy broke my fingers.
我马上就写完了 只剩一两页了 I was almost finished. Only one or two pages left.
那就别写两页了 写个字就够了 “终” Well, forget two pages. Write two words: "The end."
那样不行 It doesn't work like that.
全校通知 School-wide announcement:
麦迪逊高中已经被怪兽攻占了 Monsters have overwhelmed Madison high.
请大家有秩序地退到储藏室 Retreat in an orderly fashion to the storage room.
重复一次 有秩序地退到储藏室 I repeat, retreat in an orderly fashion to the storage room.
我们一会儿再讨论这件事 好吗 We'll figure this out later, all right?
- 我们走 - 跟着我 - Let's go. - Follow me.
快点 走 Come on, go!
啊 汉娜 不要 Aah! Hannah. No.
关门 关门 Close it. Close it.
你没事吧 没事 没事 谢谢 Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.
跟我来 Come with me.
等等 等等 她是一个 Wait. Wait, she's a--
是的 我不在乎 yes, and I don't care.
好 跟上 跟上 跟上 快 快 快 All right. Come on, come on, come on. Go, go, go.
关门 快 Shut it! Go!
把门顶住 顶住 顶住 Get that door! Get it! Get it!
哦 天啊 Oh, god.
等等 妈妈 妈妈 妈妈 你还好吗 Wait. Mom, mom, mom. You okay?
你还好吗 没事 Are you okay? Yeah.
我们该怎么办 他们要冲进来了 What do we do? They'll get through.
我不知道 我不知道 I don't know. I don't know.
斯拉比想要的是我 Slappy wants me.
我才是他要找的人 That's who he's after.
听我说 如果我能把他们引到其中一辆巴士上 Listen to me, if I can lure them away in one of those buses,
我确信他们会来追我 你们就安全了 I know that they'll follow me and you'll all be safe.
我和你去 不 我自己去 I'm coming with you. No, I need to do this alone.
我一生都在躲避人们 I've been running away from people my whole life.
我对这现实世界充满愤怒 I was so angry at the real world
所以我创造了这些可怕的怪兽 that I created these terrible monsters.
顶住那扇门 Hold that door down.
但我再也不会发疯了 But I'm not mad anymore.
这是我的错 不是这城镇的错 也不是你们的错 It's my fault, not this town's. Not yours.
总有其他办法的 汉娜 亲爱的 There's gotta be another way. Hannah, sweetheart,
是我该面对我的魔鬼们的时候了 it's time for me to face my demons.
我相信你 闭嘴 I believe in you. Shut up!
对不起 我是说 关严门 I'm sorry. I mean, shut up.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
哦 爸爸 Oh, papa.
这没人能逃出我们的手掌心 There's no escaping from us.
把他给我带来 Bring him to me.
这方法奏效了吗 Did it work?
还没 Not yet.
快 快 快引爆 Come on. Come on, work.
快 快 Come on, come on.
啊哦 Uh-oh.
太好了 Yes!
击掌 High five.
哦 小伙子 这可不太好 对不起 Oh, boy. Bad idea. Sorry.
太好了 车爆炸了 Yes. It worked.
哦 要当心啊 扎克 Oh, be careful, Zach.
我们会渡过难关的 We're gonna get through this.
现在不是说这个的时候 Not a good time.
好吧 Okay.
好 快走 Okay. Go.
好了 很明显现在只剩下一个地方可以藏身 Okay, it was clear there was only one place left to hide.
我没法边走边打字 那就记在脑子里 I can't type while walking. Then commit it to memory.
有个地方可以藏身 是 呃 游乐中心走廊 There was one place to hide. It was the, uh, arcade gallery.
没有游乐中心走廊 There is no arcade gallery.
好吧 实际上 是 恐怖欢乐屋 Okay. That was, in fact, the funhouse!
等等 伙计们 我们为什么不找一桌坐下来 Wait, guys. Why don't we just sit at one of these tables?
快点 伙计们 Come on. Guys!
跟着气味 Follow the scent.
带我去找斯坦 Lead me to Stine.
斯坦巧妙的计划简直完美 Stine's ingenious plan worked to perfection.
这恐怖欢乐屋好可怕 The funhouse was terrifying.
与其说是因为斯坦 倒不如说是因为其他人 Not so much for Stine as it was for the others.
但它给我们提供了庇佑 让我们免受埋伏在外的 But it offered refuge from the real terrors
真正恐怖的怪物的追捕 that lurked outside.
想得美 You wish.
他发现我们了 快点 跟上我 He found us. Quickly, follow me.
爸爸 你没说再见就想离开了 Papa, you left without saying goodbye.
想躲着我吗 Trying to hide from me?
更像是在躲避你自己 That's like hiding from yourself.
我是你最好的朋友 你却背叛我 I was your best friend, and you turned your back on me.
锁着我 把我禁锢在书页里 Locked me up, imprisoned me in the pages of a book.
你把我困在书架上一年又一年 You stuck me on a shelf for years and years.
钥匙就在那 The key was right there.
你却从不想放我出去 And you never used it.
你不是真实的 斯拉比 我创造了你 You're not real, slappy. I created you.
同样我也可以让你消失 I can write you out.
我一直在为你救这怪物 I've been saving this monster just for you.
跟我这胶质的朋友问好 跑 Say hello to my gelatinous friend. Run!
就是这团东西会吃人 别让它碰到你 It's the blob that ate everyone. Don't let it touch you.
我们得去更高的地方 We need to get to higher ground.
去摩天轮那里 The Ferris wheel.
扎克 你继续走 我来拖住它 Zach, you go on ahead. I'll hold it off.
你把书写完 You finish the book.
什么 我写什么 What? What do I write?
结尾是什么 我写的故事 What's the end? The story I've been writing.
就是现在正在发生的事 你做得到 写完它 It's what's happening right now. You can do this. End it.
等等 Wait.
爸爸 Dad!
汉娜 他会没事的 好吗 Hannah, he's gonna be okay, all right?
我们必须把这书写完 We have to finish the book.
好 Okay.
不太好玩吧 不是吗 Not so fun, is it?
开始吧 Here we go.
好 Okay.
你感觉怎么样 爸爸 How do you like it, papa?
这世界就在你力所能及的周围 但你动不了 The world is just outside your grasp, but you can't move.
你被困住了 You're trapped.
这就是被困在你书里的感觉 That's what it felt like to be locked inside your books.
等等 那本书 在哪 Wait. The book. Where is it?
当怪兽聚集 As the monsters converged,
扎克闭上了眼睛 Zach closed his eyes,
怪兽被吸入 and the monsters were swallowed
纸和墨的世界 back into the world of paper and ink.
你能打快点吗 我这是第一次 Can you type any faster? This is my first time
用打字机 继续 using a typewriter. Keep going.
找到了 找到了 23 - 69 Eureka, Eureka, 23-69...
他们要来了 我们怎么办 They're coming. What are we gonna do?
写完它 扎克 Finish it, Zach.
一个接着一个 One by one,
怪兽们消失了 the monsters disappeared
回到了书里 back into the book,
又一次 never to be seen...
消失不见 全文完 ...again. The end.
给 现在会发生什么 Here. What happens now?
我们马上就知道了 We're about to find out.
我们都会死去 We're all gonna die!
抓住了 Just hold on!
抓紧 Hold on tight!
这东西的安全带在哪 Where's the seat belt in this thing?
我们走 Let's go.
好 Right.
我没事 我没事 I'm okay. I'm okay.
好 快点 所有的怪兽随时可能会来 Okay. Hurry up. All the monsters will be here any second.
所有的怪兽 All the monsters.
等等 我们还等什么 Wait. What are you waiting for?
快 翻开书 Come on, open the book.
汉娜 有些事你需要知道 Hannah, there's something that you need to know,
你不能 翻开书 扎克 and you're not gonna-- open the book, Zach.
不 不 你不明白 No, no. You don't understand.
如果我们翻开书 那意味着 If we open the book, that means--
那意味着我会被永远困在书架上某个地方 it means I'll be stuck on a shelf someplace forever.
你知道了 You knew?
一个女孩能有几个美好的十六岁呢 How many sweet sixteens can one girl have?
扎克 该继续了 Zach, it's time to move on.
现在翻开书 胆小鬼 Now open the book, scaredy-cat.
不 No.
好 那我来 等等 不要 汉娜 Okay. Then I'll open it. Wait, no. Hannah!
等等 汉娜 我抓住你了 Wait, Hannah. I've got you.
也许如果我抓得够紧 Maybe if I hold on to you tight enough--
你不得不放手 扎克 you have to let go, Zach.
斯拉比有小情绪了 Slappy's not happy!
斯坦也是 Neither is Stine!
你个磨人的小妖精 Stupid dummy!
我会活在你的噩梦里 See you in your dreams!
你会没事的 You'll be okay.
我会一直存在你的想象里 I'll always be in your imagination,
那里才是真正属于我的地方 which is really where I belong.
我只是很遗憾我们从来没能共舞一曲 I'm just sad we never got to share a dance.
等等 Wait.
是的 再多一件外套 我们就很好了 Yeah. One more coat, we should be good.
走吧 女士们先生们 Let's go, ladies and gentlemen.
欢迎回到课堂 伙计们 好了 欢迎回来 Welcome back to class, guys. All right. Welcome back.
嘿 当心 Hey. Watch it.
言归正传 我们走 Back to business. Let's go.
好了 我让你先走60秒 Okay. I'll give you a 60-second head start.
没关系 妈妈 我们一起进去 It's okay, mom. Let's go in together.
下车吧 So mature.
你喜欢就好 You love it.
也许在第四学期之后 Maybe after fourth period.
哦 好 太好了 Oh, okay. That would be great.
你还好吗 深呼吸 你会很棒的 You okay? You breathing? You're gonna be great.
好吗 你看起来很精神 你身上的味道真好闻 Okay? You look great. You smell great.
天啊 什么味 My god, what is that?
我每天早上都搽芫荽 I rub myself in cilantro every morning.
原来如此 我性感的小莎莎 Of course you do, my sexy little salsa.
去忙你的吧 Go on.
好 我要去工作了 Okay. I'm off to work.
哦 我要给你什么来着 Oh, what did I have for you?
接着 There it is.
哦 哦 飘太远了 接住了 Oh. Oh. Went too far. Got it.
你们好 呃哼 Hello. Ahem.
我是R.L.斯坦先生 My name is Mr. R. L. Stine,
我是你们新的英语老师 and I will be your new English teacher,
因为博伊德先生受到了变种昆虫的攻击 受了伤 because Mr. Boyd is still recuperating from injuries
还在恢复当中 sustained in a mutant-insect attack.
现在 Now...
每个所讲的故事 Every story ever told
都可以被分成三个不同的部分 can be broken down into three distinct parts.
开端 The beginning,
中间 the middle
转折 and the twist.
- 你好 斯坦先生 - 你好 布莱克先生 - Hello, Mr. Stine. - Hello, Mr. Black.
呃 那是谁 Uh, who was that?
他是新的戏剧老师 He's the new drama teacher.
- 我可以问你点事吗 - 当然可以 - Can I ask you something? - Of course.
你想她吗 Do you miss her?
我没有一天不想她 Not a day goes by that I don't think of her.
但她会永远在这 But she'll always be in here...
在那 And in there.
在这 And right here...
在这 And in here.
也会在那 And also right over there.
我可能又写了一本书 I may have written one more book.
汉娜 Hannah.
你是 你是真实的 You're-- you're real.
你回来了 You came back.
我不得不 你还欠我一支舞呢 I had to. You owe me a dance.
来 我们走吧 Come on, let's go.
你忘记我了 You forgot about me.
“特拉华州 麦迪逊市” 哇哦 "Madison, Delaware." Wow.
老妈 你确定你不能去其他地方 Mom, are you positive there weren't any other places
去当副校长吗 looking for vice principals?
比如哪里 Like where?
关塔那摩监狱 Guantanamo bay?
喔 太刺激了 Ooh, too hot.
- 朝鲜 - 不 - North Korea? - No.
他们不会给我回电话 They didn't call me back.
底特律 Detroit?
就是这了 This is it.
来吧 来吧 Come on, come on.
你在纽约绝对找不到 Look. A yard.
这样的院子 You'd never get this in New York.
你不用给我推销这个地方 You don't have to keep selling me on this place.
- 我留在这里是因为我爱你 - 啊 我也爱你 - I'm staying because I love you. - Aw, I love you too.
我查过了 And I looked into it.
从法律上来说 我在满十八岁之前都不能自己一个人住 Legally, I can't live on my own until I'm 18.
瞧瞧这间厨房 Look at this kitchen.
比我们的公寓都要大 It's bigger than our apartment.
我们不做饭 We don't cook.
你看看这个柜台 Well, look at all this counter space
想想它铺满外卖的样子 to put the takeout on. Whew.
你听到了吗 Do you hear that?
不 我什么都没听见 No, I don't hear anything.
正是 Exactly.
这位住在纽约的女士 Live from New York,
是我的姐姐盖尔 it's my sister Gale!
她身旁的是特别嘉宾 我的侄子扎克 With special guest, my nephew Zach.
- 来一个拥抱吧 - 嘿 - Get in here with a hug! - Hey. Oh.
这是个周六夜现场式的介绍 Oh, it's an SNL reference.
- 哦 是的 - 你住在纽约 - Oh, yeah. - You lived in New York.
- 好 嗯 - 哦 我的天 - Okay, yeah. - Oh, my goodness!
瞧瞧你 Look at you!
这件衣服真配你 You're not in any color.
我们应该换着穿穿 We should change that.
我的天呐 见到你真是太好了 Oh, my god. It's good to see you.
- 哇哦 你也是 - 好的 让我看看我的小侄子 - Wow, you too. - Okay. Let me take him in.
天呀 他真是越来越帅了 Oh, my gosh. He gets more handsome every time I see him.
- 太帅气了 - 谢谢 罗琳姨妈 - So good-looking. - Thank you, aunt Lorraine.
他真是个可爱的男孩 He's just a beautiful boy.
真是感谢上帝 你小时候不知道有多丑 Thank god, because you were such an ugly baby.
- 是这样的 - 哦 罗琳 - There it is. - Oh, Lorraine.
怎么了 那很好啊 他现在很帅了 What? It's fine. He's handsome now.
长相又不可能 先是很丑 It's not like he's gonna go ugly,
然后又变帅 最后又变丑 handsome and then back to ugly.
危险期已过 No. The danger's past.
哦 我都快忘了 Oh, I almost forgot.
我给你买了个礼物 因为我是个帅气的姨妈 I got a present for you, because I'm a cool aunt.
这是我设计的男士新款 This is from my new signature men's line.
你瞧瞧 Check it out.
碉堡了 Awesome.
这是限量版的 所以你肯定不会 It's limited edition, so you're not gonna see
看到这东西成为大街货 a lot of men wearing that hat.
嗯 不 那场景太美 让我不敢想象 Yeah, no, I can't imagine anyone would be wearing it.
看上去就很限量 It's so limited edition.
戴戴看 看看合不合适 Try it on. Make sure it fits.
- 现在就戴吗 - 好吧 - Try it on right now? - Okay.
是的 带她去兜兜风 Yeah, take her for a spin.
哦 是的 看呐 我是说 太帅了 就是它了 Oh, yes. Look at that. I mean, come on. That is it.
好吧 Okay.
嗯 我要去把箱子搬下来 回见 Um, I'm gonna go unload some boxes now, and see you around.
哦 宝贝 别戴着出去 我不想你出很多汗 Oh, honey. Leave the hat on. I don't want you to burn.
嗯 你戴着它真的很合适 Mm. And you look good with it on.
谢了 真酷 Thank you. Cool.
慢点 Smooth.
那么你就是新邻居吗 So you're the new neighbor?
是的 很高兴见到你 Yeah. Nice to meet you.
从纽约开车到这里得要多久 How long was the drive from New York?
不 我只是想说 No. I can just tell
你戴这顶帽子真漂亮 by the pretty hat that you have.
哦 不 这个 不 Oh, no. This-- no.
这是 这其实是我姨妈送的礼物 This is-- this is actually a gift from my aunt.
这也是给我的礼物 It's also a gift for me
给所有看见你戴这个帽子的人的礼物 and everyone who gets to see you wearing it.
- 我是扎克 顺便一提 - 我是汉娜 - I'm Zach, by the way. - I'm Hannah.
汉娜 Hannah.
我得走了 I gotta go.
谈得很愉快 Good talk.
你好 嘿 我们刚刚搬进来 Hi. Hey, we're just moving in.
只有 只有我和我妈 Just-- just me and my mom.
- 这顶帽子是个礼物 - 你看见了围栏吗 - This hat was a gift. - You see that fence?
你看见了围栏吗 Do you see the fence?
呃 看见了 Uh, yes.
站到围栏的外边去 Stay on your side of it.
你离我女儿远点 你离我也远点 You stay away from my daughter, you stay away from me...
那么我们就不会有不愉快 And we won't have a problem.
嗯 刚遇见了我们的邻居 Well, just met our neighbor.
他是头巨大的泰迪熊 He's a big Teddy bear.
哦 施瑞福先生吗 Oh, Mr. Shivers?
是的 他搬到这里有好些年头了 Yeah. He moved to town a few years ago.
非常神秘 Very mysterious.
性感 我爱他的味道 Very sexy. I love his scent.
闻起来就像是加了点薄荷的狐臭 It's like mint and Bo. It works.
是吗 你喜欢就好 Yeah. Not my type.
我记得那天 I remember that day.
哦 Oh.
你还好吗 甜心 You okay, sweetheart?
还好 还好 对不起 呃 Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Um...
我得先去开始整理我的房间了 I'm gonna go get a head start decorating my room.
让我的遗愿清单又少一件事 Knock it off my bucket list.
他干什么呢 How's he doing?
哦 老毛病了 Oh, it's been hard.
他有一堵心墙 He's putting up a wall.
但愿换了个地方能对他有所帮助 Hopefully, a change of scenery will help.
你还好吗 How are you doing?
但愿换了个地方能对我有所帮助 Hopefully, a change of scenery will help.
- 好的 扎克 - 让我们看看你有多少能耐 - All right, Zach. - Let's see what you got.
一个快速球 打了两个双曲线 With the fastball. Two's a curve.
快起来 你得给我打个手势 Gotta get up. You gotta give me the sign.
这就对了 哦 There you go. Oh!
这个 That's--
哦 看见没 老爸不是万能的 oh, see? Dad's not perfect.
不 No.
老爸也会接不住球 Dad can get one drop.
准备好 看手势 All right. Read the signs.
一定要把它挡住 不要着急跳起来 It's all just to block. Don't wanna jump up.
这就是打快速球的办法 That's how the fastballs get by.
好了 准备好 现在加速了 好吗 All right. Get ready. Go fast now. Okay?
宝贝 你还好吗 Honey? You okay?
嗯 没事 只是看看一些小时候的旧照 Um, yeah. Just found some old baby pictures.
我真像一只小咕噜 I really did look like baby gollum.
是啊 是啊 Yeah, yeah.
总是这样 不是么 That's always the case, right?
- 嗨 贝卡 - 哦 嘿 - Hey, Becca. - Oh, hey.
嗯 新朋友 新朋友 新朋友 Yay. New friends, new friends, new friends.
喔喔喔 你以为你在做什么 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing?
我要去上班了 做点教人的活呀 I'm going to work. Gonna do some educating.
管人的活呀 Some administrating.
酷 老妈 我就是那种 Cool. Mom, I'm the new kid,
家长自己都有问题的新学生 which presents its own set of obstacles.
不知道和副校长一起上学是不是很好玩 Not sure walking in with the vice principal is the play.
就给我个六十秒的领跑就好 Just give me a 60-second head start
这样至少我能有个机会 so I at least have a chance.
可以 你保证你会成功 Deal. You promise you'll give it a shot?
你知道我不能给你保证这个 You know I can't promise you that.
我保证 好吗 I promise. All right?
所以这儿的门锁 And this door-locking thing...
得了吧 你应该更好一些 Come on, you're better than that.
六十秒倒计时开始了 60 59 58 57 56 55 54 Sixty seconds start now, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54...
好吧 让我们各就各位 女士们先生们 All right. Let's find our seats, ladies and gentlemen.
请快点坐到自己的座位上 Find our seats quickly.
坐到座位上 Let's find our seats.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
好吧 让我们安静下来 嗯 Okay. Let's settle down. Um...
好吧 呃 抱歉 不好意思 让一下 Okay. Uh, sorry. Excuse me. Let me just--
不好意思 让让 好吧 okay, cool. Okay.
所以你就是新生 So you're the new kid.
哦 对的对的 Oh, yeah. Cool, cool.
哦 嗨 泰勒 Oh. Hi, Taylor.
嗨 呆瓜 Hi, Chump.
- 她刚才叫你'呆瓜'？ - 是的 她确实这么叫了 - She just call you "Chump"? - Yes, indeed, she did.
我的真正名字就是'钱普' 你知道的 My real name is champ, you know.
但她以前从来没有和我说过话 But she's never talked to me before,
所以我们之间已经进步了 so we're making progress.
三 二 一 Three. Two, one.
安静 Settle down.
早上好 Good morning.
我很高兴向你们介绍 I am so happy to introduce you
我们的新副校长 库珀小姐 to our new vice principal, miss Cooper.
并且我希望你们 And I hope that you show her
像尊重我一样尊重她 the same respect that you show me.
谁干的 谁干的 Who did that? Who did that?
库珀小姐 Miss Cooper.
嗨 大家好 Hi, everyone.
我知道如果我说 我们为周五的秋季舞会感到兴奋 I know I speak for the entire administration
那我是在代表整个管理层说话 when I say that we are so excited for Friday's fall dance.
我们都想要去跳电臀舞 We can't stop twerking about it.
哦不 她不是吧 Oh, no, she didn't.
她比上一个副校长还要差劲 She's worse than the last one.
那是我妈 That's my mom.
哦 好吧 上个副校长英明绝伦 Oh, well, the last one was fantastic.
我 我是开玩笑的 我其实不知道什么是电臀舞 I-- I'm kidding. I don't even know what twerking is.
但是我听说这个很潮 But I hear it's very popular...
那你可以随便带人来跳舞么 So you taking anyone to the dance?
不 好吧 No. Yeah.
我也还在考虑一个人单飞的问题 I was thinking about flying solo too.
嘿 我们该一起去 Hey, we should go together.
一起 Together?
哦 不是那个一起的一起 Oh, not like "Together" Together.
一起跳舞什么的 不过好像也可以 Dance together or anything. Although that could work.
我给你讲 我们得进到人堆里去 知道不 You know, we get the crowd into it, you know?
然后咱们分开 就能各自泡到妹子 And then go split off with different girls.
最后要知道的就是 注意安全 玩的开心 And as a final reminder, just be safe and have fun.
把这个拿上 给我发个短信或者推特 Take this. Shoot me a text or tweet me.
上面有我的联系方式 It has all my contact info.
这是我的家的住址 那是我的储物柜号码 There's my home address, and that's my locker number.
- 你知道怎么找我了 - 任何人 - You know where to find me. - Anyone.
- 谢了 - 任何人要是敢在舞会中 - Thank you. - I need anyone caught dancing
过于亲近他的舞伴 with their butt facing their partner,
他立刻就会被送回家 you will be sent home immediately.
立刻 Immediately.
有人么 Hello?
有人在那里吗 Is someone there?
我吓到了你吗 Did I scare you?
哈 没有 Pfft, no.
真的吗 你刚才至少蹦了十英尺高 Really? Because you jumped like 10 feet high, so...
你知道的 我很爱跳 You know, I jump a lot.
这是我保持身材的办法 It's how I stay in such great shape.
那不错 我 嗯 That's good. I, um...
对了 我今天在学校没看见你 Yeah, I didn't see you at school today.
啊 什么 你是在找我吗 Aw, what, you were looking for me?
没 没有 我只是注意到 No, no. I just-- I just observed--
不 我在家自学 no, I'm homeschooled.
噢 你爸爸教你吗 Oh, by your dad?
他看起来 He seems...
很不错 Nice.
热情 就是有点紧张 And intense. And a little tense.
他不是针对你 他对谁都这样 Don't take it personally. He doesn't really like anyone.
是啊 那么 嗯 Yeah. So, um...
这附近有什么好玩的吗 So is there anything, like, fun to do around here
除了吓吓邻居 aside from scaring your neighbors?
好吧 有一件我很喜欢的事 Okay. There is one thing that I like to do.
是吗 Yeah?
跟我来 Come with me.
呃 Uh...
- 嘿 我们要去哪 - 别担心 会很好玩的 - Hey, where are we going? - Don't worry. It'll be fun.
你真的知道要去什么地方吗 Are you sure you know where you're going?
当然了 跟着我就好 Yes. Come on.
这边 This way.
你是要把我带到荒郊野外然后杀了我吗 我就是好奇问问 Are you taking me somewhere to kill me? I'm just curious.
主意不错 I'm playing it by ear.
汉娜 Hannah?
对啊 扎克 跟着陌生人到树林中去吧 Yes, Zach, follow the stranger into the woods.
快来 胆小鬼 就快到了 Come on, scaredy-cat. We're almost there.
嗯 就要到了 Okay. Just a little further.
好了 在这儿等着 Okay. Just wait here.
好吧 Okay.
这究竟是哪里 Where exactly is here?
看 Watch this.
天了噜 Whoa.
感觉怎么样 What do you think?
嗯 Uh...
跟我想象的相去甚远 It's not what I was expecting.
那么 这儿是哪里 So, what is this place?
嗯 这里是家公司几年前建的 可是后来资金不够了 Well, they built it years ago, but then they ran out of money.
然后就一直留在这了 Now it just sits here.
来吧 这是我最喜欢的 Come on, this is my favorite part.
等等 等等 你在干吗 Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?
你怕什么 我一直都这样的 What are you afraid of? I do this all the time.
我 我不是害怕 I'm-- I'm not afraid.
我只是刚打了破伤风疫苗 I'm just not current with my tetanus shots.
真讨厌郊外 I hate the suburbs.
快来 Come on.
你能做到的 只要别往下看 You can do it. Just don't look down.
我知道 I know.
你不会掉下去的 You're not gonna fall.
我也不想掉下去 I wasn't planning on it.
终于来啦 嗨 There you go. Hi.
嗨 Hi.
好吧 All right.
这可是离地面好远了 So I'm high off of the ground.
很酷 不是吗 It's cool, right?
是啊 真酷 Yeah. It's cool.
在上面能看到整个城市 You can see everything from up here.
那么 So...
为什么你搬来麦迪逊 Why'd you move to Madison?
这个嘛 我妈跟我说 Well, my mom said to me:
扎克 如果你能搬到世界任何一个角落 "Zach, if you could live anywhere in the world,
你想去哪儿呢 where would it be?"
我说 那求求你我们能搬到特拉华州的麦迪逊吗 And I said, "Can we please move to Madison, Delaware?
这是我一直以来的梦想 That'd be my dream."
你总是这样冷嘲热讽的吗 Are you always this sarcastic?
总是 不不不 Always? No, that's a strong word.
不是总是 是经常 Not always. Usually.
对不起 只是 嗯 I'm sorry. It's just, um...
自从我爸爸去世以后 It's just been me and my mom
就只有我和妈妈两个人了 所以有点 since my dad died last year, so yeah.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我已经不怎么回想这件事了 I don't really think about it much anymore.
你呢 What about you?
这个嘛 我没见过我妈妈 Well, I never knew my mom,
而且我和爸爸经常搬家 and we're always moving from one town to the next.
真糟 That really sucks.
没事 It's fine.
嘿 Hey,
汉娜 我能问你点严肃的事吗 can I ask you something really serious, Hannah?
可以啊 什么 Yeah. What?
我们怎么下去啊 How do we get down?
我是认真的 你有什么计划吗 I'm serious. Is there a plan?
没有 你一般都怎么下去的 No. How do you normally get down?
你下不去的 你就在这儿呆着吧 You can't. You're stuck.
哇 我真的无法相信 Wow, I can't believe
你吃了那个棉花糖 you ate that cotton candy.
你知道真正恐怖的是 And you know what's scary
这个糖味道其实还不错吗 is it actually tasted kind of fine.
那么 嗯 今晚多谢了 So, uh, thanks for tonight.
这是我在这儿最开心的时候了 That was the least terrible time I've had here.
噢 扎克 太温馨了 Oh, Zach. That's so sweet.
这 我 真的 That's-- I-- really.
好啊 Okay.
嘿 汉娜 我 Hey, Hannah. I'm...
我每个星期二和星期四 I'm probably gonna take out the trash
应该都会去扔垃圾 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
所以 你知道的 悄悄地出现 So, you know, you feel like creeping up on someone,
对我还挺有用的 that works for me.
好啦 我知道了 胆小鬼 All right. I'll keep that in mind, scaredy-cat.
汉娜 Hannah!
你在外面干什么 What are you doing out here?
对不起 I'm so sorry.
这是最后一次警告你 This is your last warning.
离我们远点 You stay away from us,
否则会有非常不好的事情发生的 or something very bad will happen.
我信你 I believe you.
"X究竟是啥" "What is x?"
X究竟是啥啊 What is x?
爸爸 这没什么大不了的 Dad, it's not a big deal.
汉娜 你必须要知道 Hannah, you have to understand--
我不想知道任何事 I don't have to understand anything.
我们只是聊聊天 我为什么不能交朋友 We were just talking. Why can't I have friends?
- 你知道为什么 - 这不公平 - You know why! - That is not fair!
你不能永远把我锁起来 You can't just lock me up all the time.
我再也不许你见那个男孩 You are never allowed to see that boy!
你知道我的意思吗 永远不许见 You understand me? Ever!
爸爸 冷静一下 Dad, please calm down.
- 汉娜 - 不 啊 - Hannah. - No! Aah!
怎么回事 What?
干吗 我听到尖叫声 What? I heard a scream.
汉娜还好吗 这没有人尖叫 Is Hannah okay? There was no scream.
你什么也没听见 赶快滚 You didn't hear anything. Get out of here
要不然下一个尖叫的就是你 or the last scream you hear will be your own.
不 等下等下 No. Wait, wait--
妈妈 mom.
嘿 妈 妈 妈 噢 嘿 亲爱的 Hey, mom. Mom. Mom. Oh, hey, sweetie.
嘿 晚饭吃藜麦怎么样 Hey, how do you feel about quinoa for dinner?
妈 汉娜有麻烦了 Mom, Hannah's in trouble.
哇哦 汉娜是谁呢 Oh, who's Hannah?
麦迪逊镇911 Madison county 911.
你好 嗯 我住在门罗 嗯 Hi, yes. Uh, I live on Monroe. Um--
嗯 有紧急情况 我想 扎克 怎么回事 uh, it's an emergency, I think. Zach, what's going on?
嗯 应该是家暴 我也不清楚 Yeah. Maybe possibly a domestic disturbance. I don't know.
你被捕了 噢 哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 You're under arrest! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
这么热情是不错 嗯不错 继续保持 I love that enthusiasm. I love that. Keep it.
但我们还没 还没到这一步 But we're just-- we're not there yet.
你好先生 我是史蒂文斯警官 Hello, sir. My name's officer Stevens.
这是实习警官布鲁克斯 刚才很抱歉 This is training officer Brooks. I'm sorry about that before.
你不用抱歉 You don't need to be sorry.
- 你做的很好 - 真的吗 - You're doing great. - Really?
我们接到电话说有个10到16岁的女孩在这里 We got a call about a possible 10-16 at your residence.
似乎是 Which is...?
嗯 别告诉我 Um.... don't tell me.
是家庭暴力 It's a domestic disturbance.
完全正确 真的吗 Absolutely right. Really?
是啊 完全正确 Yeah. You're absolutely right.
真奇怪 今天晚上我一直是一个人 Strange, because I've been here alone all night
而且我什么也没有听见 不不 他在说谎 and I haven't heard a thing. No, no, he's lying.
汉娜在哪 我听见是她在尖叫 Where's Hannah? I know it was her screaming.
好吧 是啊 汉娜是我女儿 Okay, yes. Hannah's my daughter,
她妈妈和别的男人搬走之后 and she's been staying with me for a while
她和我一起住过一段时间 while her mother sorted a few things out
噢 对了 with her new husband. Ah, yeah.
昨天早上她从伦敦回来了 She flew back to London yesterday morning.
好的 那么就这样了 All right, well, that checks out.
对不起 先生 谢谢你宝贵的时间 Apologies, sir. Thank you for your time.
抱歉打扰你了 We're sorry for the disturbance.
环绕立体声 Surround sound.
我还不知道当一个高保真音响控还能是有罪 I didn't know being an audiophile was a crime.
当个什么 什么控 Being a what-- a what-a-phile?
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
他的意思是他是个 That just means that he is a connoisseur
鉴定高质量音响设备的专家 of high-end audio equipment.
噢 Oh.
你好 我真抱歉 我们还没正式见过面 Hi. I'm so sorry. We haven't properly met.
我是盖尔·库珀 你的新邻居 I'm Gale Cooper, your new neighbor.
这间屋子真漂亮 It's a beautiful home you have.
真是我的荣幸 非常感谢你 Pleasure's mine. Thank you so much for stopping by
带着你可爱的儿子和警察来我家串门 and bringing your delightful son and the police.
我再说一遍 真的很抱歉 Again, I'm so sorry.
抱歉了 先生 Apologies for this, sir.
我们也不愿意闯进 We hate coming into the home
一位像您这样的良民的家里来 of an upstanding citizen such as yourself.
真的很抱歉 很明显 你并没有做什么 Really sorry. I mean, obviously, you're not doing anything...
如果你要起诉的话 If you would like to press charges,
我们愿意帮你忙 we would love to help you.
汉娜 汉娜 Hannah! Hannah!
哇哦 汉娜 Whoa! Hannah!
站住 大个子 不 不 Hold on, big guy. No, no!
看楼上 相信我 Just look upstairs. Trust me.
我该押走他吗 我要押走他 Should I tase him? I'll tase him.
我欣赏你的勇气 但我们得走了 I like that moxie, but we're gonna hold off.
你知道向警察报告错误信息 You have any idea what the penalty is
会有什么惩罚吗 for filing a false police report?
坐三年牢 有点儿相近了 Three years. Close.
其实是个书面警告 It's actually a written warning.
等下 等下 妈妈 告诉我你并不相信他说的 Hold on, hold on. Mom, tell me you don't believe him.
立体音响 真的吗 Surround sound? Seriously?
扎克 够了 回家吧 Zach, enough. Go home.
噢 警官们 真的很抱歉 Oh, officers. I'm so sorry.
没事 女士 It's all right, ma'am.
我们也许该给你儿子 I feel like we should recommend
推荐一家不错的治疗中心 a good treatment center for your son.
没错 他吸毒了 他在吸毒 Yeah. That kid's on drugs. That kid is on drugs.
晚安 Good night.
盖尔 Gale.
我是罗琳 It's Lorraine.
我能看到你 I can see you.
这是你妹妹 It's your sister.
嗨 谢谢你能来 嗨 Hi. Thanks for coming. Hi.
我得在高中守着今晚的舞会 I have to chaperone the dance at the high school.
我不想让扎克一个人在家 I don't wanna leave Zach alone tonight.
盖尔 他是个处于最煎熬的时期的青少年 Gale. He's a teenage boy having a hard time adjusting.
你知道他需要什么吗 You know what he needs?
和他小姨困惑地呆一个晚上 A night in with his aunt, bedazzling.
是吗 Duh.
噢 谢了 我不想跟他吵架 Oh, thanks. I hate fighting with him.
我知道 会好起来的 只要给他点时间 I know. It'll get better. Just give it some time.
好啦 我连衣服都带来了 别担心啦 All right. Kit coming through. And don't worry.
今晚我就围着扎克转好了 It's gonna be all about Zach tonight.
扎克 Zach!
所以我们周三去了寿司店 So we went out to Sushi on Wednesday.
我们都点了鸡肉照烧 And we both ordered the chicken teriyaki,
这就像是命运的安排吧 which is like, "It's fate."
可我从那以后就没听说过他的消息了 你明白吗 And then I haven't heard from him since, you know?
那人游手好闲 可是我真的喜欢他 Which is a bummer, because I really liked him.
他从来不嘲笑我的笑话 He didn't laugh at any of my jokes,
但我却有种别的感觉 but I felt like there was something there.
我不明白 不像是我在乎 I don't know. Not like I even care.
而像是 算了 我应该听巫师的话 It's like, whatever. I should listen to my psychic.
她跟我说 “不要跟失败者约会 永远不要上飞机” She says, "Stop dating losers, and never go on a plane."
我知道 I knew it.
你觉得他是欲擒故纵 Oh, so you think he's playing hard to get?
还是更像是剧本里说得一样 Or the more likely scenario:
就像 他在火灾里丢了手机 He lost his phone in, like, a fire.
呃 我觉得他是丢了手机 Yeah, I think he lost his phone.
对 我也是这么觉得的 Yeah. I do too.
啊 我 我全忘了 You know, I-- I totally forgot.
我周一有场大考 我得去学习去了 I have a huge test on Monday that I gotta study for.
我得通宵了 So I'm just gonna do that all night,
还有 绝对不要进我的房间 and definitely don't come in my room.
哦好 好吧 再见 Oh, okay. Yeah. See you.
晚安宝贝 Night, sweetie.
你懂个啥 我要给他打电话 But you know what? I'm just gonna call him.
现在我都担心他是不是挂了 Now I'm worried he's dead.
喂 喂 喂 Hey, hey, hey.
这儿 Over here.
等等 我们是怎么分工的 Wait. So how is this gonna work?
你是我的僚机还是我是你的僚机 Are you my wingman, or am I yours?
你就打算穿这一身去跳舞 Is that what you're wearing to the dance?
我要跟你说些事情 下来 I gotta tell you something. Get down.
哥们儿 别 这可是新衣服 脱了 Dude, no. This is a new suit. Get off.
女孩儿们在哪里 哦 哦 是这些事 Where are the girls? Uh, yeah, about that.
我只说了让你过来 I just said that to get you over here.
我需要你的帮助 I need your help.
所以你是在诓我 So there are no girls?
呃 还是有一个的 Well, there is one girl.
哦我去 Oh! My man!
嘘 啥 啥 Shh! What? What?
但是她被她爸锁在家里了 而且她老爸是个精神变态 But she's locked in this house, and her dad's a psychopath.
她有什么朋友吗 Does she have a friend?
没有 我说认真的 No. I'm serious.
你这货 是你说这有女孩儿的 You know, you said there was gonna be girls,
现在不光没有 and not only are there no girls,
还跑出个精神病 我还穿着西装 but there's a psychopath, and I'm in a suit.
你怎么知道那家伙会离开 How do you know this guy's going to leave?
我假扮警察给他打了电话 I called him and pretended to be the cops.
我让他到车站去 And I asked him to come to the station.
你会摊上事儿的 就一张警告而已 You can get in trouble for that. It's just a written warning.
老兄 这又湿又脏 哥们 我裤子要沾上泥了 Dude. It's wet dirt, dude. My pants are gonna get muddied.
他就在这儿 He's right there.
咳 Whoa.
好了 我们走 All right. Let's go.
走 Come on.
好 好 Okay, okay.
老兄 我这干净整洁的人形广告就快成一个笑话了 Dude, my dry-cleaning bill's gonna be ridiculous.
赶快 Just come on.
哇哦 你从哪儿学来的 纽约吗 Whoa. Where'd you learn that, New York?
- 不 从YOUTUBE - 哦 - No, YouTube. - Oh.
好了 呆在这 盯着车道 Okay, stay here and watch the driveway.
就我一个人在这等着吗 在这一片漆黑中等着吗 Wait here by myself? Out in the dark?
对的 钱普 你来放哨 Yes, champ. You're the lookout.
如果她爸回来了 你就给我个暗号 像这样 If shivers comes back, you just give me a sign like:
好吧 正是因为这样我们也很清楚 Okay, just so we're clear,
如果我察觉到任何危险气息 我就先跑路了 if I sense any danger, I will run the other way.
呃 Whoa!
我在哪儿 Where am I?
你搞毛线啊 你不是在外面盯梢吗 What the hell? You're supposed to be the lookout.
我是在盯梢啊 And that's not gonna change.
我只是 你懂 我盯在这儿 I'll just be the lookout, you know, in here.
不 不 很明显你得在外面的某个地方 盯梢 No, no, by definition you have to be somewhere out, looking.
让我解释一下 扎克利亚斯 Let me explain something to you, zacharias.
你也知道常言道 青少年之所以不怕死 You know how they say teenagers have no fear of death?
是因为他们从没有受过伤 呃 但这不是我 明白吗 That they're never gonna get hurt? Well, not me, okay?
我是伴随着恐惧一起出生的 我还记得我四岁的时候 I was born with the gift of fear. I remember being 4,
一边推秋千一边想 being pushed on a swing and thinking,
- 我会这样死掉的 - 你不会死的 - "This is how it ends." - You're not gonna die.
是吗 至少也不是今天死 All right? At least not today.
好吧 一切都会好起来的 Okay? It's gonna be okay.
好吧 你是对的 行了吧 Yeah, you're right. Okay.
我就是来搞笑的 I'm being ridiculous.
看 捕熊器 Oh, bear traps.
有谁会在自家地下室里放捕熊器 我说认真的 Who puts bear traps in their basement? I mean, seriously.
走 Let's go.
我们到外面去 那里安全 Let's go outside where it's safe.
也没有捕熊器 Where there's no bear traps.
我觉得我吃到蜘蛛网了 I think I swallowed some web.
哥们 这边 快 快 Dude, this way. Come on. Come on.
在那里 Up there.
哦 Oh...
就是从那间房里传出来的 It's coming from that room.
汉娜 Hannah?
太奇怪了 好像噪音 That's weird. It's like the noise
是从这个书架里传出来的 is coming from this bookcase.
呃 这是个老房子 Well, it's an old house.
哇哦 快看这个 Whoa. Check this out.
《稻草人夜行》 The scarecrow walks at midnight.
《邻屋幽灵》 《木偶惊魂》 The ghost next door, night of the living dummy.
全是惊悚恐怖的书 These are all goosebumps manuscripts.
他弄这一堆儿童读物是想干嘛 What's he doing with a bunch of kids' books?
这不是儿童读物好吗 These aren't kids' books. Okay?
儿童读物是助眠的 Kids' books help you fall asleep.
这些书是助你失眠的 These books keep you up all night.
好吧 “R.L.斯坦” Okay. "R.L. Stine."
这人怎么了 Whatever happened to that guy?
呃 谁知道呢 大概某天失踪了吧 Uh, who knows? He disappeared one day.
这很重要吗 走吧 Does it matter? Let's go.
帕萨迪纳市的雪人 The abominable snowman of Pasadena.
我祖母就住在帕萨迪纳市 My grandma lives in Pasadena.
自打我看过这书之后我就再也没去过 I stopped visiting after reading this.
够了 Okay.
我们不是来这儿开读书会的 We're not here for book club.
我知道 可是为什么这些书要锁起来呢 I know, but why are these books locked?
我是说 有谁会锁一本书呢 I mean, who would lock a book?
或许这里有把钥匙或是什么 Maybe there's like a key or something
能让我们打开这本书 we can unlock it with.
好吧 如果这件事真有那么重要的话 看这个 行了吧 Okay, if it really matters that much, look at this. All right?
谜团解开了 Mystery solved.
让我们重新回到 小心 Let's get back to why-- look out!
扎克 Zach?
嗨 汉娜 Hey, Hannah.
你们在我家干什么 What are you doing in my house?
我以为你被锁起来了 大概 I thought you were chained up, possibly.
你为什么会这么想 因为我听见了你的尖叫 Why did you think that? Because I heard you scream,
之后 我叫了 警察 and then I called the... Police.
好的 你们现在就给我朝右走 Okay, both of you need to go right now.
是 好的 等等 一 就一秒钟 Yes. Okay. Wait. One-- one second.
嗨 你好 我叫钱普 很高兴见到你 Hi. Hi, I'm champ. Nice to meet you.
那个 我们一会儿要去一个正式的舞会 Hey, we're going to the semiformal later tonight,
我不清楚 你可不可以带一个女生一起过来 and I don't know, you should come and invite a friend.
我真的不介意她的长相 I really don't care what she looks like.
你把书上的锁解开了吗 Did you unlock a book?
呃 是的 很抱歉 因为钥匙就在附近 Yeah. I did. I'm sorry. It's around somewhere.
我没再做什么 现在就把它放回原处 I just dropped it. And I'll put it back where it belongs
给你添麻烦了 这是 and we'll be out of your hair. Here it is--
不 别打开 no! Don't open it!
不 No!
到底怎么回事 不许发出声音 What's going on? Nobody make a sound.
我爸爸会杀了我的 My dad's gonna kill me.
等等 扎克 Wait! Zach!
扎克 Zach!
等等 汉娜 Wait, Hannah.
汉娜 汉娜 等等 Hannah. Hannah, wait.
回家去吧 扎克 这已经不是你力所能及的了 Go home, Zach. You're in over your head.
你得告诉我这到底怎么回事 You wanna tell me what's going on?
不 来不及解释 我必须去追它 No, I can't explain. I have to go.
扎克 等等 等等 Zach, wait. Wait.
求你了 听我说 Come on. Listen.
停下 停下 停下 哥们儿 你在干什么 Stop. Stop. Stop. Dude, what are you doing?
哥们儿 哥们儿 放开我 Dude. Dude, get off me.
认真听我说 那个就是可恶的雪人 Listen to me very carefully. That's the abominable snowman.
你不是偶然得知这个绰号的 You don't get that nickname by accident.
它刚刚从书里爬出来了 And it just crawled out of a book.
这根本不可能发生 扎克 That doesn't just happen, Zach!
我要去追汉娜 I'm going after Hannah.
听着 我读过它在帕萨迪纳市做过的事 Look, I read what it did to Pasadena.
不是开玩笑 It's no joke, man.
她进那里了 She went in there.
是的 她又不是唯一进去的 Yeah. She's not the only one who went in there.
哥们儿 我们得叫警察 Dude, we should call the cops.
你见过这个镇上的警察吗 Have you met the cops in this town?
说的也是 Fair enough.
你看见墙上的刮痕了吗 Do you see the scratches on that wall?
嗯 Yes.
确认一下 Just making sure.
啊 那是你的叫声 Oh! Is that your scream?
别怪我 Don't judge me.
这儿 Over here.
这边 This way.
她要干嘛 读那个故事吗 What is she gonna do, read it a story?
汉娜 发生了什么 它是怎么从书里蹦出来的 Hannah? What is happening? How did that pop out of a book?
嘘 它就在这儿 我们得弄把枪来 Shh. It's in here. Hey, we should get a gun.
你搞笑吗 我们得弄个坦克 Are you kidding? We need a tank.
等等 他是雪做的 Wait. He's made out of snow.
喷火器 盐袋 Flamethrower. Bag of salt.
喷火器 安静 Flamethrower. Quiet.
它不能死 He can't be killed.
糖果 It's candy.
当心 Look out!
快跑 他没注意到我们 Come on. It's distracted.
- 汉娜 快点 快走 - 不 你们在干嘛 - Hannah, come on. Let's go. - No, what are you doing?
放开 别 停下来 不 你们不懂 Get off. No. Stop it! No, you don't understand.
唯一能阻止它们的办法就是把它们吸回书里 The only way to stop them is to suck them back into the book.
把书留下让它自己进去 Drop the book and let it suck itself back in.
不行 我还不够接近它 No, I'm not close enough.
你在干嘛 把书打开 What are you doing? Just open the book.
等等 Just wait.
- 汉娜 把书打开 - 还不行 - Hannah, open the book. - Not yet.
汉娜 现在 Hannah! Now!
书 The book.
汉娜 你干嘛 Hannah, what are you doing?
汉娜 啊 Hannah. Huh?
不 不 No. No.
别让它得到那本书 Don't let it get the book!
你还好吗 恩 Are you okay? Yeah.
伙计们 快点 快走 快 快 Guys, come on, let's go! Come on. Come on.
这边 快 Over here! Come on!
- 快 - 好主意 快开车 - Come on. - Good idea. Punch it.
坏主意 坏主意 从那上面下来 Bad idea. Bad idea. Get off that thing.
啊 Aah!
跑 Run.
快 这边 伙计们 快点 这边 Hurry, this way. Guys, come on. In here.
伙计们 快点 快 Guys, come on. Hurry!
好样的 yes.
哇啊 Whoa!
你们全都去车里 立刻 All of you in the car, now!
你要对我们做什么 What are you gonna do to us?
安静 Silence.
- 我们不能提问吗 - 闭嘴 - We can't ask questions--? - Shut up!
爸爸 他们是想帮忙来着 Dad, they were only trying to help.
我告诉过你远离我们 不然会有不好的事情发生 I told you to stay away from us, or something bad would happen.
但今天你们这些小孩就出现问题 你们就是不听我的话 But that's the problem with kids today. They don't listen.
你们为什么要选帕萨迪纳的雪人 You had to pick abominable snowman of Pasadena.
选个商店的小仓鼠不好吗 You couldn't have picked little shop of hamsters.
你就是作者 对吧 You're him, aren't you?
- 你就是R.L斯坦 - R.L谁 - You're r.L. Stine. - R.L. Who?
我不知道那是谁 I don't know who that is.
噢 真的吗 Oh, really?
好吧 那也没事儿 因为他的书写的太烂了 Well, just as well, because his books suck.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我不知道我更讨厌哪个 I can't decide which one I hate more:
《血魔》或《去吃虫子》 Monster blood or go eat worms!
我不明白 I'm so confused.
这两本书结局虽然大不相同 You see the endings coming from a mile away.
但是感觉这个作者是在模仿史蒂芬·金 It's like stop trying to be Stephen king, man.
让我来告诉你一些关于史蒂芬·金的事情 Let me tell you something about Steve king.
史蒂芬·金一直想成为我一样的作家 Steve king wishes he could write like me,
而且我的书比他的畅销的多 and I've sold way more books than him,
但是从没有人说过你这样的话 but nobody ever talks about that!
好吧 不谈书了 Okay. Way more books!
爸爸 哼 Dad... Aah!
你的脸又红起来了 ...your face is doing the red thing again.
不是吧 No way.
等下 你是R.L斯坦 真是你吗 Wait, you're r.L. Stine? That's you?
真的吗 真的吗 Really? Really?
嘿 我可以拍张照吗 Hey, can I get a picture real quick?
- 不行 不行 - 来嘛 来嘛 - No. No. - Come on. Come on.
- 快说茄子 - 我说不拍 - The answer's "Yes." - I said no.
什么 我 不 把你手机拿开 What? I-- no! Get that thing out of here!
对不起 我只是想拍张照放到我的INSTAGRAM上 I'm sorry. I just wanted a photo real quick for my instagram.
哦 就那样是吧 给我看看你拍的 Oh, is that all? Let me see.
噢 好的 给你 谢谢你 Oh, yeah. Here you go. Thank you.
嘿 嘿 现在怎么办 Hey, hey, what happens now?
你回家 穿上睡衣 You go home, put on your p.J.'S,
盖上被子 睡你的觉 get your blankie, you go nap-nap.
明早醒来 你就当这是做的恶梦 In the morning, this will all just feel like a bad dream.
爸爸 等下 没时间了 收拾东西吧 Dad, wait. There's no time. Start packing.
我们又要搬家了 We're moving again.
那么 你现在想做什么 So, what do you wanna do now?
扎克 兄弟 Zach, dude.
- 但是我不想搬走 - 我喜欢这儿 - But I don't wanna leave. - I like it here.
汉娜 你要理解下 Hannah, you have to understand.
我不需要理解任何事 I don't have to understand anything.
我们为什么不能正常一回 Why can't we be normal for once?
因为我们不是正常的家庭 你快去收拾你的东西 Because we're not a normal family. Now go get your things.
我受够了 I'm so over this.
啊 年轻人 Oh! Teenagers.
我可以杀了你 I could've killed you.
你扔的好差劲 怎么杀 That was a terrible throw. How?
你们在这儿干什么 回家吧 What are you doing here? Go home.
不 除非你告诉我这到底是怎么回事儿 No. Not until you explain what's going on.
不 不 不 我不会解释的 No, no, no. I can't explain it.
我们差点就被那个雪人吃了 We were almost just eaten by frosty the snowman,
这应该是不可能发生的事情 所以 快告诉我们 which should be impossible, by the way, so try.
好的 是这样 Okay, look...
我怎么说呢 是在我小的时候 Where do I begin? When I was younger,
我因为严重的过敏一直呆在家里 I suffered from terrible allergies that kept me indoors.
所有的小孩都朝我的窗户扔石头 And all the kids threw rocks at my window
还给我取外号 and called me names.
所以我只能自己创造朋友 So I created my own friends.
怪物 恶魔 食尸鬼 去吓唬我的邻居 Monsters, demons, ghouls to terrorize my neighborhood
去吓唬取笑我的小孩子 and all the kids that made fun of me.
但是后来它们真的出现了 And they became real to me.
在某一天 它们真的 And then one day, they actually...
真正存在了 Became real.
我创造的怪物们会从书上出来 My monsters literally leapt off the page.
只要那些书是锁着的 我们就是安全的 As long as the books remain locked, we're safe.
但是若是书打开了 But when they open,
嗯 你们已经知道会发生什么了 well, you've just seen what happens.
我对尘螨过敏 I'm allergic to dust mites.
你想表达什么 What's your point?
我只是说 我也有过敏 I'm just saying, I have allergies too.
所以我理解你 So I understand.
我干嘛要和你讲话 汉娜 走吧 Why am I talking to you? Hannah, let's go.
汉娜 抱歉 Hannah! I'm sorry.
我们走 Let's go.
汉娜 你拿A到M的书 我拿M到Z的 Hannah, you grab a to m, I'll get m to z.
把《食人花》和《爆眼外星人》分开放 And keep the man-eating plant away from the bug-eyed aliens.
哦 不 不要是他啊 Oh, no. Not him.
你好 爸爸 Hello, papa.
多久没见了啊 How long's it been?
恍若隔世啊 Feels like forever.
你的新朋友吗 Who are your new friends?
我们不是朋友 刚认识他 We're not friends. Barely know him.
斯拉比 再次见到你很高兴 Slappy, it's so nice to see you again.
你有想我吗 Did you miss me?
当然 我想你啊 Of course I missed you.
那么 有什么计划吗 朋友 So, what's the plan, friend?
你放我出来肯定是要好好玩一下 You must've brought me out for something fun.
吓吓当地的人们 摧毁这个镇子 Terrorize the locals? Destroy the town?
让我们疯狂一下吧 Let's get silly.
你猜的对 斯拉比 You guessed it, slappy.
我准备摧毁麦迪逊 而我 I'm going to destroy Madison, and I--
没有你没法做到 and I couldn't do it without you.
啊 呸 你让我 Aw, shucks. You're giving me--
那个词叫什么来着 oh, what's the word?
起鸡皮疙瘩 Goosebumps.
噢 我的天 他好可怕 Oh, my god. He's so creepy.
噢 他是很有趣的 Oh, he is such a crack-up.
如此聪明的假人 Such a clever dummy.
你说谁是假人呢 蠢货 Who are you calling "Dummy," Dummy?
你想让我回到书里面 You're trying to put me back in?
不 不 不 不 不 不 怎么会呢 No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't be silly.
我知道你在骗我 爸爸 I know when you're lying to me, papa.
你让斯拉比很生气 You've made slappy very unhappy.
他再也不想呆在书架上了 He's not going back on the shelf ever again.
斯拉比 不 等等 Slappy, no, wait!
我觉得是时候 I think it's time I started
由我来主导我们间的关系了 pulling the strings in this relationship.
今晚发生的事情将是你所写过的最好的故事 Tonight is gonna be the best story you've ever written.
你的孩子们都会出来一起玩 All of your children are coming out to play.
哦 感谢上帝 他走了 Oh, thank god he's gone.
哦 天 他走了 Oh, god. He's gone.
他带走了所有的书 And he's taken all the books.
那是本好书啊 That one's a real page-Turner.
恭喜你 你刚释放了个恶魔 - Congratulations. - You've just released a demon.
一个有着拿破仑谋略的口技假人 A ventriloquist dummy with a serious napoleonic complex.
我只打开了一本书 所以那本是个意外 I only opened one book, and now I see that was a mistake.
肯定是雪人把斯拉比的书撞开了 The snowman must've knocked slappy's book down.
这事儿还是怪你 我不喜欢你 小子 - I still blame him. - I don't like you, boy.
门被从外面锁住了 It's locked from the outside.
从厨房门出去 快走 Out the kitchen door. Go now.
这个小人怎么在这儿 我也不知道 Why is that here? I don't know.
也许他们没有恶意 Maybe they're friendly.
绝对有恶意 他们绝对有满满的恶意 Not friendly. Definitely not friendly.
噢 Ooh.
他抓住我的脸了 He's stuck to my face.
绝对是有满满的恶意 Definitely not friendly.
爸爸 啊 Dad! Aah!
坚持住 我来帮你 Hold on. I'll save you.
对不起 对不起 你还好吗 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
准备 绑住了 走起 Ready, set, go.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
帮我 哦 不 不 不 帮我 来个人啊 Help me. Oh, no, no, no. Help, someone.
让开 让开 Get back. Get back.
让开 Get back.
嘿哟 嘿哟 Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
嘿哟 Heave-ho.
帮我 帮我 把它们弄走 好的 好的 Help me. Help me. Get them off. Okay, okay.
嘿哟 嘿哟 Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
快点啊 Quickly.
关上 关上 Shut it. Shut it.
全都弄进去了吗 嘿哟 嘿哟 - Did you get them all? Heave-ho. Heave-ho....
帮我解开 Untie me.
和我想的不一样啊 I imagined something different.
来我家 这里有很多女孩 "Come over to my house. There will be girls.
我是你的同伴 I'm your wingman."
哦 不 不 不 不 我们要离开这儿 Oh, no, no, no. We got to get out of here.
我们去地下室 We need to get to the basement.
是锁着的 我弄开了 It's locked. I picked it.
那是非法入侵 That's breaking and entering!
注意捕熊的陷阱 Watch out for the bear traps.
为什么你要弄捕熊的陷阱 Why'd it have to be bear traps?
好吧 快点 快点 跟上 - All right, come on. Hurry. - Come on.
锁住 锁住 好的 - Lock it! Lock it! - Okay.
为什么你不写一些故事 Why couldn't you have written stories
关于彩虹或独角兽 about rainbows and unicorns?
因为那些玩意儿卖不了4亿本 Because that doesn't sell 400 million copies.
哇哦 在国内吗 Whoa, domestic?
不 全世界范围 No, worldwide.
但也是很厉害了 闭嘴 It's still very impressive. Shut up.
那是什么 What is that?
他把书烧了 为什么他要这么做 He's burning the books. Why's he doing that?
这样的话 那些怪物就无法被收回书里了 So there's no way to get the monsters back inside.
这是斯拉比的复仇 It's slappy's revenge.
《斯拉比的复仇》 那是个好书名 Slappy's revenge. That's a good title.
不好意思 朋友 我想开慢点 Sorry, folks. I'd slow down,
但我踩不到刹车 but I can't reach the brake.
嘿 快来看看我的新畅销书 Hey, check out my new best seller.
蔓延开来吧 It'll grow on you.
通讯中断将会是这个镇上最小的问题 Dropped calls are gonna be the least of this town's problems.
我玩儿的好疯狂啊 I'm driving myself crazy!
小镇被入侵了 通讯中断了 - The town has been invaded. - Communications are down.
我在说大规模的混乱 没有人知道如何制止 We're talking mass chaos, and no one knows how to stop it.
你觉得怎么样 What do you think?
我不确定 我不 我不知道 I'm not sure. I-- I'm not-- I don't know.
是陨星怪物 It's the blob.
电影陨星怪物 最初由史蒂夫·麦奎因主演的啊 The blob. The original one with Steve McQueen.
噢 不不敢相信你居然没看过那部电影 Oh, I can't believe you don't know that movie.
来我家 我有它的光碟 Come over to my house. I got it on laserdisc.
我们 We'll wa--
又停电了 power went out again.
天啊 晚上老是这样 God. All night with this.
好吧 那些应急灯应该很快会亮起来 Well, these emergency lights should kick on soon.
有人把腹语假人落在这儿了 Somebody left their ventriloquist dummy.
你喊谁假人呢 Who you calling "Dummy"?
他会说话 这是什么东西 It's talking. What is that thing?
我为和平而来 没有武装 I come in peace. Unarmed.
我只是想给你们讲个睡前故事 I just wanna read you a bedtime story.
- 先生 闭嘴 - 好的 - Sir, shut your mouth. - Okay.
但是你还是阻止不了我啊 Because that's not gonna stop me.
- 把手放在我看得到的地方 - 警官 - Hands where I can see them. - Officers!
你被解除职务了 哈哈 You've been relieved of your duties. Ha, ha!
现在 冻结吧 Now, freeze.
有人吗 Hello?
哦 你好啊 小家伙 你肯定迷路了 Oh, hello, cutie. You must be lost.
哦 没有标牌 Oh, and no tags.
好吧 给你点水喝吧 Well, let's get you some water.
我们会带你到附近逛逛 We'll take you around the neighborhood
我们会找到你的主人 and we'll find your owner.
他长得帅吗 他还单身吗 Is he handsome? Is he single?
他有想过下定决心离开他的妻子吗 Is he thinking about leaving his wife and needs a push?
好的 别弄洒了 All right. Trying not to spill.
不要笨手笨脚的 罗琳 Don't be clumsy, Lorraine.
好吧 你肯定很渴 Okay, you must be so thirsty.
镇上所有的人都被冻住了 Everyone in town's been frozen.
喔 我的天呐 喔 我的天 爸 老爸 发生了 Oh, my god. Oh, my god, dad. Dad, what happened to--?
等一下 Wait.
喔 喔 感谢上苍 Oh. Oh, thank god.
伙计们 虚惊一场 不是我老爸 Guys, false alarm. It's not my dad.
我们怎么办 What are we going to do?
没有原稿 Without those manuscripts,
我们什么也干不了 there's nothing I can do.
如果 如果你写过怪物可以从书中出来 If-- if you wrote the monsters off the page,
那么也就有办法可以写他们回到书中 then maybe there's a way you could write them back on.
等等 是 是啊 是啊 为什么不那样做呢 Wait-- yeah, yeah, yeah! Why don't you just do that?
你根本就不知道我要写多少故事去 You have any idea how many stories I'd have to write
抓住我创造的怪物 to capture every monster I've created?
我双手早已写断了 I already have carpal tunnel in both hands.
爸爸 听他的 是个不错的主意 Dad, just listen to him. It's a great idea.
就一个 一个故事抓住所有的怪物 Just one. One story to capture them all.
嗯 说得容易 就一个 一个故事 Hmm, simple. Just one, one story,
抓住我创造的所有怪物 with every monster I've ever created.
真聪明 真是个好主意 他是一个看守者 Brilliant. Really good idea. He's a keeper.
你有更好的主意吗 You have a better idea?
嗯 哼 嗯 哼 Mm-hm, mm-hm.
一个好得多的主意 A much better idea.
不 现在没有 我没有 但是 No, not now, I don't, but--
好了 那么我们得给你找一台电脑 okay, then we gotta get you to a computer
你就可以开始写作 这有 so you can start writing. There's--
这儿有一个电脑专卖店 只需要闯进去 there's a computer store. Just break in.
不 不 不 我需要用我的打字机 No, no, no. I need my typewriter.
- 什么 - 我所写的每个故事 - What? - Every story I've written
是在史密斯·可乐娜完成的 不只是我 was on that Smith corona. It's not just me.
那个打字机很特殊 That typewriter is special.
它是有灵性的 It has a soul of its own.
如果我在其他上面写 是没有用的 If I write on anything else, it won't work.
打字机在哪里 Where's the typewriter?
喔 别担心 Oh, don't worry.
在某个安全的地方 It's somewhere safe.
快点 come on.
拜托 拜托 拜托 Come on, come on, come on.
只要给我一格信号 Just give me one bar.
之前还有用的 This was working earlier.
拿头来 啊 Brains. Aah!
很抱歉 我无意吓唬你 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
我是说 我是想吓你 但是用一种幽默的方式 I mean, I did mean to scare you, but in a playful way.
那么 啊 一切还好吗 So, uh, is everything okay?
很抱歉 我得联系上我的儿子 I'm sorry, I have to get hold of my son,
但是我手机没有信号 and I can't get any service.
是啊 今晚都收不到信号 真奇怪 Yeah. No one can tonight. It's weird.
我不知道我手机出什么问题了 I don't know what's going on with my phone.
我收不到信号 I can't get reception.
斯拉比弄毁了信号塔 Slappy's taken out the cell-phone towers.
那也是我曾经做过的 That's what I'd do.
他在分离我们 孤立我们 He'cutting us off. Isolating us.
那是什么声音 What was that?
呸 是隐形男孩 他对我们是一个威胁 Ugh, it's the invisible boy. He's a menace.
哦 Ow!
把它推出窗外 Shove him out the window.
摇起窗户 Roll up the window.
夹住了他的尾巴 救命 救命啊 He's got his tie! Help, help!
抓紧了 Hold on.
不好玩 Not cool!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
是的 当然 Yeah. For sure.
是啊 等等 等等 小心前面 Yeah. Wait. Wait, look out!
- 你还好吧 - 没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah.
都还好吧 Everyone okay?
它突然就出现了 It came out of nowhere.
我都不记得我写过一只巨螳螂 I don't remember writing about a giant praying mantis.
好吧 现在我想起来了 Right. Now I remember.
快离开这儿 Get us out of here!
你在做什么 看不到路我没法开车 What are you doing? I can't drive if I can't see.
只管开就行了 Just go!
喔 我的天呐 Oh, my god!
小心 左转 Watch out! Turn left!
不要开直路 Stop driving straight!
- 它追上来了 向右转 - 加大油门 - He's catching up! Turn right! - Step on it!
有人想要开车吗 我可以把车停到路边了 Does someone else wanna drive? I'll pull over right now.
为什么你会想制造这些畸形的怪物 Why'd you come up with something so freaky?
我想 我是有诀窍的 I just have a knack for it, I guess.
喔 不 我的牧马人 Oh, no. My wagoneer.
这车还没有开多久 I had such low mileage on it.
我们离中学还有多远 How far are we from the high school?
不远了 Not too far.
我们可以从墓地抄近路 We can cut through the cemetery.
抱歉 墓地 I'm sorry, a cemetery?
天呐 放松点 穿过森林就是中学了 God, relax. The high school's just past the woods.
等等 你怎么知道 Wait, how do you know that?
啊 有时我会发点神经出去浪一下 Uh, sometimes I get a little stir-crazy and go exploring.
什么时候 在你上床睡觉之后 When? At night after you go to bed.
- 你被禁足了 - 那不公平 - You're grounded. - That is so unfair.
- 不 很公平 - 你们都说都对 - No, it's fair. - You're bringing up good points,
但是在你生气的时候我们还得继续走 but let's keep moving while you argue.
在大半夜和陌生的男孩子偷溜出去 Sneaking off in the middle of the night with strange boys.
真是难以置信啊 闭上你的鸟嘴 Unbelievable. Shut it.
嘿 嘿 我可以向你借一美元吗 Hey, hey, do you have a dollar I could borrow?
什么 不 为什么 我渴死了 What? No. Why? I'm parched.
好吧 只是一美元 我相信他们会理解你的 Well, just take one. I'm sure they'll understand.
真的吗 哈 Really? Ha!
柠檬水 葡萄酒 草莓糖浆 Lemonade, grape or strawberry?
老天爷啊 这儿 橙汁 Good god, man. Here. Orange.
我不知道我在想什么 I don't know what I was thinking.
这儿的路居然比纽约还多 There is way more going on here than New York.
怎么了 啊 你割伤了 What? Uh, you cut yourself.
严重吗 啊 是的 很严重 Is it bad? Uh, yeah. It's really bad.
我脸毁容了吗 Is my face messed up?
是啊 毁了很多 Yeah. Big time.
毁得看起来完全一样 You look exactly the same.
你听到了吗 Did you hear that?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
那可是鸡皮疙瘩中的狼人 That's the werewolf of fever swamp.
它可以闻到我的气味 He can smell my scent.
不 没用的 我得藏起来 No, it's not working. I have to hide.
快点 Come on.
嘘 不 不 不要 Shh, no, no, no.
做点什么啊 Do something.
快点 快点 快点 Come on, come on. Come on.
快点 走 走 走 Come on. Go, go, go.
它在追我们 快跑 He's on our tail. Go.
跑 它就在我们的后边 Go! He's right behind us!
快点 跑 跑 Come on. Go, go.
喔 Oh!
我被卡住了 快来帮我 I'm stuck. Help me get out.
你在干什么 没时间了 What are you doing? There's no time!
我说了把我弄出来 快点跑 没时间了 I said get me out of here. Gotta go. There's no time.
弄我出来 喔 不 继续跑 它在追我们 I said get me out-- oh, no. Keep going. He's chasing us.
我正在拼尽全力跑 I'm going as fast as I can.
快跑 我们就跟在你们的背后 好 Just go. We're right behind you. Okay!
啊 喔 Aah! Oh!
快点 我们得走了 起来 起来 Come on. We gotta go. Get up. Get up.
快点 快点 伙计们 快跑 Come on, come on! Let's go, guys!
快点 快点 快点 Come on, come on, come on.
哈哈 看看它还能穿过来不 Ha! Let's see him get through that.
走 快走 跑 快跑 Go, go! Run, run!
- 锁住了 - 走这边 - It's locked. - This way.
我很好 I'm okay.
我还是很好 I'm still okay!
她是谁 我姨妈罗琳 Who is that? It's my aunt Lorraine.
喔 天呐 Oh, my gosh.
我觉得我杀了那只熊 I think I killed that bear.
事实上它是一只狼人 什么 It was actually a werewolf. What?
罗琳姨妈 你在这儿干什么 Aunt Lorraine, what are you doing here?
这是我商店的后面 我不知道去哪里 This is the back of my store. I didn't know where else to go.
我没法联系上你的妈妈 警察还有其它人 I can't get ahold of your mother or the cops or anyone...
你好 啊 嗨 你好 Hello. Uh, hi. Hello.
嗨 我觉得我们还没有进行自我介绍 Hi. I don't think we've been properly introduced.
嗯 我是 我是罗琳 Um-- I'm-- I'm Lorraine.
你好 R.L.斯坦 Hello. R.L. Stine.
你对我们真是恩重如山 We owe you a great debt of gratitude.
你的鲁莽驾驶救了我们的命 Your reckless driving saved our lives.
喔 刚才那件事吗 Oh, that old thing?
罗琳 罗琳 Lorraine. Lorraine.
那么 罗琳 So... Lorraine.
我们没时间了 我需要你去警察局 We don't have time. I need you to go to the police station
告诉他们和我们在中学碰面 and tell them to meet us at the high school.
- 好吗 你能做到吗 - 我能做到 好的 - All right? Can you do that? - I can do that. Okay.
喔 你想互相留下电话号码吗 Oh, did you wanna exchange numbers?
现在不是好时候 但是我想 It's not a good time, but yes!
喔 天呐 这可不妙 Oh, god, this is a bad idea.
那是什么 What was that?
你还好吗 是 是的 是的 You okay? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
是的 只是一个树根 没什么可怕的 Yeah. Just a root. Nothing scary here.
那么你为什么要取绰号叫'钱普'呢 So how did you get the nickname "Champ"?
不是一个绰号 It's not a nickname.
等一下 那是你的真实姓名 还是一些缩写 Wait. That's your real name? Is it short for something?
我的全名是冠军 My full name is champion.
你的真实姓名是冠军 Your actual name is champion.
抱歉 Sorry.
我老爸在92年的奥林匹克运动会上 My dad won a bronze
- 夺得了铜牌 - 真的吗 - back in the '92 Olympics. - Really?
我的妈妈 她是一名美国短跑选手 My mom, she was an all-American sprinter
还是一个两届世界辩论赛的冠军 and a two-time world debate champion.
所以他们叫我'钱普' So they named me "Champ."
嘿 你知道 如果你害怕 我可以抓紧你的手 Hey, you know, if you're scared, I can hold your hand.
拜托 你才是胆小鬼呢 Please, you're the scaredy-cat.
等等 等等 镇定 没事的 只是一个石像 Wait, wait. Hold on. It's okay. It's just a statue.
好了吗 你没事的 All right? You're fine.
没事的 对吗 It's all right. All right?
等一等 它 Just give me a sec. It's--
它套住了你的夹克 it's caught on your jacket.
我的英雄 My hero.
你可以走动了 There. You're free to go.
怎么了 What is it?
没什么 Nothing.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
是 Yeah.
是 十分肯定 我 Yeah, totally. I'm fi--
扎克 Zach!
跑 Run!
食尸鬼 跑 跑 Ghouls. Go, go.
它们越来越近了 Oh, they're getting closer!
跑 这儿 跑 跑 快点 快点 跑 跑 快跑 Go. Here. Go. Go. Come on. Come on. Go, go, go.
快点 快 快 快 Hurry, quick, quick, quick.
我卡住了 I'm stuck.
- 你快先走 先救你自己 - 好的 保重 - Go on without me. Save yourself. - Okay. Good luck.
不是 我只是说说而已 冠军 No, I didn't mean it, champion!
什么样的怪物会真的答应我刚才的要求 What kind of monster would take me up on that offer?
拉我 大家快一起拉我出来 Pull. Everybody pull.
我要杀了他 那个蠢蛋在哪 I'll kill him. Where is that little imbecile?
等我们一下 你个胆小鬼 Wait for us, you coward!
你可以的 罗琳 你可以的 All right. Okay, Lorraine. You got this.
只要告诉警察到高中去 Just tell the cops to head to the high school
所有人都遇到麻烦了就可以了 and that everyone's in trouble.
你可以做到 You can do this. Okay.
噢 不对 不是这个门 Oh! Nope. Wrong door.
你好 Hello?
这里有人在吗 Is anyone in here?
呼叫警察 呼叫所有警察 Calling all cops, calling all the cops.
请到高中去 我侄子遇到麻烦了 Head to the high school. My nephew's in trouble.
他和R.L.斯坦在一起 He's with R.L. Stine.
他们认为他们知道如何阻止这一切 They think they know how to stop all this.
喂 有人听到我讲话吗 Hello? Can anyone hear me?
我听到了 I can hear you.
警察队长斯拉比 随时准备保护以及服务大众 Sergeant slappy, ready to protect and serve.
我的老天爷 Oh, my goodness.
- 你是 - 别 - You're... - Don't do it.
- 一个会说话的 - 别说出来 - ...A talking... - Don't say it.
- 假人 - 你说出来了 - ...dummy. - You said it.
你有保持沉默的权力 You have the right to remain silent.
他们把我的打字机放哪去了 Where did they put my typewriter?
我肯定是这个方向 也没准是那个方向 I know it was this way. It might've been the other way.
- 我们或许应该分开走 - 什么 不行 - We should split up. - What? No.
你读过你自己写的书吗 Have you ever read one of your books?
我们永远都不能分开走 We're never supposed to split up.
快点 这里能有几个展示箱啊 Come on. How many display cases could there be?
- 你碰我 - 对 等一下 - You're touching me. - Yeah. Hang on a second.
- 汉娜不知道 对吧 - 不知道什么 - Hannah doesn't know, does she? - She doesn't know what?
不知道她不是真的 That she's not real.
她认为她是一个真人 She thinks she's a person, okay?
而不是你凭想象创造出来的虚拟人物 Not just some figment of your imagination.
你怎么能 你怎么能骗她 How could-- how could you lie to her?
我在保护她 I was trying to protect her!
哦 真的吗 那你做的真好啊 Oh, yeah? Well, good job with that.
我的这个礼物是一个诅咒 This gift of mine is a curse.
你不知道我一直以来有多孤独 直到汉娜出现 You have no idea how lonely it's been until Hannah.
汉娜不一样 She's different.
我特意把她写得让她以为她是真的 I wrote her in such a way that she thinks she's real,
而且她对我来说就是真的 扎克 and she is real to me, Zach.
我不奢望你能懂 I don't expect you to understand.
事实上 我懂 Actually, I do.
我害怕失去她 I'm afraid of losing her.
事实上 我害怕一个人孤孤单单的 And the truth is, I'm afraid of being alone.
我可能在你这个年纪的时候 I suppose I stopped connecting with real people
就不再与真人交往了 when I was your age.
我爸死了之后 我也把所有人隔绝在外了 After my dad died, I shut everyone out too.
也许我们可以一起重新开始 Maybe we can both start over,
如果明天我们还活着的话 if we're alive tomorrow.
你原来在这 你还好吗 There you are. Are you okay?
你看起来像刚见了鬼一样 You look like you just saw a ghost.
快跟我来 我们找到打字机了 Okay. Well, come on. We found the typewriter.
哦我亲爱的 我想死你了 亲一个 Oh, my sweet darling, I've missed you so much. Mwah.
好了 开始写吧 All right, so start writing.
嗯 但是故事是怎样的 Yes, but what's the story?
什么意思 怪物输了 好人赢了 故事结束了 What do you mean? Monsters lose, good guys win, the end.
不 不 不 这样不行 No, no, no. It doesn't work
这必须是一个真的让人起鸡皮疙瘩的故事 unless it's a real goosebumps story,
有反转 有转折 有恐怖 with twists and turns and frights.
更要有我们的英雄的自我成长 Not to mention some personal growth for our hero.
啥 What?
去体育馆 警告所有人 Go to the gym. Warn everyone.
让他们隔离这所学校 Tell them to barricade the school.
你去哪 Where are you going?
去找个写作的地方 To find someplace to write.
斯拉比会来找我的 Slappy's going to come for me.
我有截止日期 真正的死亡期限 I have a deadline, literally.
现在快走 Now go.
不可思议 Unbelievable.
# 关掉 关掉 关掉 # # Off, off, off #
# 把脑袋停掉 # # Off with your head #
# 跳舞 跳到生命的尽头 # # Dance, dance till you're dead #
# 头在转 头在转 # # Heads will roll heads will roll #
# 头在地上转 # # Heads will roll on the floor #
不好意思 Excuse me.
不好意思 借过一下 Sorry. Coming through.
快点 我们要到台上去 Come on. We gotta get to the stage.
# 头在转 头在转 # # Heads will roll heads will roll #
# 头在地上转 # # Heads will roll on the floor #
那么这就是高中的舞会 So this is what a high-school dance is like.
呃 对 一般情况下他们舞会跳得更好一点 Uh, yeah. Usually the dancing's better.
但是大概的样子就是你看到的 But you get the idea.
他们现在管这个叫跳舞吗 That what they call dancing now?
- 我不知道 - 扎克 - I'm not sure. - Zach.
- 妈 妈 - 扎克 - Mom. Mom. - Zach.
我担心死了 你和罗琳我一个都联系不到 I was so worried. I couldn't get hold of you or Lorraine.
我知道 我知道 妈 在这的所有人都处于危险中 I know. I know. Mom, everyone here is in danger.
- 我们必须隔离这所学校 - 哦不 扎克 不要再来一次了 - We have to barricade the school. - Oh, no, Zach. Not this again.
他讲的是实话 嗨 我是汉娜 我住隔壁 He's telling you the truth. I'm Hannah. I live next door.
好了 All right.
同学们 听清楚了 Okay, everyone, listen up. Okay?
大家 请你们一定要认真听 Okay. Everybody, you gotta listen up--
- 钱普 下来 - 我要告诉你们一些事 - Champ, get down. - I have something to say.
呃 好吧 呃 Uh, okay, uh....
我的朋友扎克有话要说 Listen to my best friend Zach.
- 就 就告诉他们就行了 - 谢了啊兄弟 - Just-- just tell them. - Thanks, champ.
嗯 行吧 唔 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Um...
你们大概觉得我们疯了 This is going to sound insane,
但是有一群怪兽攻击了麦迪逊 but monsters have invaded Madison.
伙计们 是真的 相信我们 Guys, it's the truth. Okay?
他讲的是实话 He's telling the truth. It's--
他真的没有撒谎 he's not making this up.
这群怪物堵住了所有出镇的路 They've blocked every road out of town,
他们还把信号塔毁了 they've torn down the cell towers,
我们变得与世隔绝了 and we've been cut off from the rest of the world.
而且他们随时都有可能开始攻击我们 And they could be coming for us any second,
所以我们需要 so we need to work to--
他是对的 He's right.
是魔鬼来了 而且他正在挖鼻屎呢 好怕怕啊 It's the boogeyman. And he's picking his nose.
这不是我编 I'm not making--
这有一只巨大的虫子 There's a giant bug,
它正吃着我们的车呢 and it's eating everybody's cars!
- 呃 不好笑了 兄弟 - 不是 是真的 - Uh, it's getting old, dude. - No, seriously!
他们来了 They're here.
现在这才是真正的省亲活动 Now, this is a real homecoming.
好了 所有人 大家冷静下来好吗 All right. Everyone, everyone, everyone calm down. Okay?
我知道 我知道怎么做 但是我一个人做不到 I know-- I know what to do, but I can't do it by myself.
拿着这个 Take this.
邀请我们剩下的朋友来参加派对 Invite the rest of our friends to the party.
看 这些怪物 Look. Those things out there,
他们是R.L.斯坦书里的怪物 they're R.L. Stine's monsters.
他在这 他可以让一切恢复原样 He's here, and he can fix this,
但是我们必须为他争取时间让他写完 but we need to buy him time to write.
不用担心 他写的很快 And don't worry, he's a very quick writer.
夜很寒冷 The night was cold.
寒冷之夜 Cold was the night.
走近点 别害羞 Come close. Don't be shy.
你们不会想错过这场表演的 You don't wanna miss the show.
好了 大家看着 这些是所有的出口 All right, everyone. These are all the exits.
找到所有你能找的东西把门堵上 Find anything you can to barricade the doors,
因为我们绝不能放那些怪物进来 because we cannot let the monsters inside.
快点 大家 我们没有时间了 Come on, guys. We don't have a lot of time.
摞起来 把椅子摞起来 Stack them up there. Stack them up.
来 快点 快点 好了 Come on, quickly. Quickly. Yes.
我所有的朋友都在这里 All my friends in one place.
我从没这么开心过 I've never been so happy.
我不想让这一天结束 I don't want this day to end.
而且这一天也不用结束 And it doesn't have to...
只要我们解决了斯坦 As long as we get rid of Stine.
开始 Charge!
走 走 走 这个撑不住的 快走 Go, go, go! It's not gonna hold! Go!
快走 快走 快跑 Go, go, go!
我们为和平而来 We come in peace.
- 我们应该帮忙 - 我们应该离开 - We should be helping. - We should be leaving.
啥 啥 What? What?
你去哪啊 Where are you going?
我们确定一定以及肯定地 分手了 We are so...Through.
不 不要 不 Please, no. Please.
不要 求你了 No, please.
我的天哪 你怎么做到的 Oh, my god. How'd you do that?
银质填料 我有好多牙洞 Silver fillings. I have a ton of cavities.
我十岁的时候 整整一年都没刷牙 When I was 10, I didn't brush my teeth for a whole year.
呃 狼人的头发 啊 Ugh, werewolf hair. Oh.
你救了我的命 呆瓜 You saved my life, chump.
其实我叫钱普 It's actually "Champ."
我只是想让你再抱我一次的 I was just gonna say "Hug me again,"
但是 嗯 嗯 这个也行 but yeah, yeah, that works too.
我们坚持不住了 他们太多了 We can't keep this up. There's too many.
我们必须去找到斯坦 We have to get to Stine.
- 走吧 - 好的 - Let's go. - Okay.
所有的怪物都到齐了 All the monsters had converged.
恶毒的吸血蝙蝠 The vicious vampire bats,
祈祷的蝙蝠 the praying mantis,
闹鬼的面具 the haunted mask...
忘了谁吗 Forgetting somebody?
斯拉比 Slappy.
你怎么找到我的 How did you find me?
我了解你 我创造了你 I know you. I created you.
还是你创造了我来着 Or is it the other way around?
我总是忘了 我们太像了 I always forget. We're so similar.
斯拉比 Slappy?
- 斯拉比 - 嗨 - Slappy? - Hi.
“所有在高中的人” "Everyone in the high school
“团结在一起去对抗斯拉比和他的部下们” joined forces to defeat slappy and his monsters."
嗯 但是斯拉比不想这么写 Hmm. But slappy had other ideas.
不 No.
爸 Dad!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
那个蠢货把我手指夹断了 That dumb dummy broke my fingers.
我马上就写完了 只剩一两页了 I was almost finished. Only one or two pages left.
那就别写两页了 写个字就够了 “终” Well, forget two pages. Write two words: "The end."
那样不行 It doesn't work like that.
全校通知 School-wide announcement:
麦迪逊高中已经被怪兽攻占了 Monsters have overwhelmed Madison high.
请大家有秩序地退到储藏室 Retreat in an orderly fashion to the storage room.
重复一次 有秩序地退到储藏室 I repeat, retreat in an orderly fashion to the storage room.
我们一会儿再讨论这件事 好吗 We'll figure this out later, all right?
- 我们走 - 跟着我 - Let's go. - Follow me.
快点 走 Come on, go!
啊 汉娜 不要 Aah! Hannah. No.
关门 关门 Close it. Close it.
你没事吧 没事 没事 谢谢 Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.
跟我来 Come with me.
等等 等等 她是一个 Wait. Wait, she's a--
是的 我不在乎 yes, and I don't care.
好 跟上 跟上 跟上 快 快 快 All right. Come on, come on, come on. Go, go, go.
关门 快 Shut it! Go!
把门顶住 顶住 顶住 Get that door! Get it! Get it!
哦 天啊 Oh, god.
等等 妈妈 妈妈 妈妈 你还好吗 Wait. Mom, mom, mom. You okay?
你还好吗 没事 Are you okay? Yeah.
我们该怎么办 他们要冲进来了 What do we do? They'll get through.
我不知道 我不知道 I don't know. I don't know.
斯拉比想要的是我 Slappy wants me.
我才是他要找的人 That's who he's after.
听我说 如果我能把他们引到其中一辆巴士上 Listen to me, if I can lure them away in one of those buses,
我确信他们会来追我 你们就安全了 I know that they'll follow me and you'll all be safe.
我和你去 不 我自己去 I'm coming with you. No, I need to do this alone.
我一生都在躲避人们 I've been running away from people my whole life.
我对这现实世界充满愤怒 I was so angry at the real world
所以我创造了这些可怕的怪兽 that I created these terrible monsters.
顶住那扇门 Hold that door down.
但我再也不会发疯了 But I'm not mad anymore.
这是我的错 不是这城镇的错 也不是你们的错 It's my fault, not this town's. Not yours.
总有其他办法的 汉娜 亲爱的 There's gotta be another way. Hannah, sweetheart,
是我该面对我的魔鬼们的时候了 it's time for me to face my demons.
我相信你 闭嘴 I believe in you. Shut up!
对不起 我是说 关严门 I'm sorry. I mean, shut up.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
哦 爸爸 Oh, papa.
这没人能逃出我们的手掌心 There's no escaping from us.
把他给我带来 Bring him to me.
这方法奏效了吗 Did it work?
还没 Not yet.
快 快 快引爆 Come on. Come on, work.
快 快 Come on, come on.
啊哦 Uh-oh.
太好了 Yes!
击掌 High five.
哦 小伙子 这可不太好 对不起 Oh, boy. Bad idea. Sorry.
太好了 车爆炸了 Yes. It worked.
哦 要当心啊 扎克 Oh, be careful, Zach.
我们会渡过难关的 We're gonna get through this.
现在不是说这个的时候 Not a good time.
好吧 Okay.
好 快走 Okay. Go.
好了 很明显现在只剩下一个地方可以藏身 Okay, it was clear there was only one place left to hide.
我没法边走边打字 那就记在脑子里 I can't type while walking. Then commit it to memory.
有个地方可以藏身 是 呃 游乐中心走廊 There was one place to hide. It was the, uh, arcade gallery.
没有游乐中心走廊 There is no arcade gallery.
好吧 实际上 是 恐怖欢乐屋 Okay. That was, in fact, the funhouse!
等等 伙计们 我们为什么不找一桌坐下来 Wait, guys. Why don't we just sit at one of these tables?
快点 伙计们 Come on. Guys!
跟着气味 Follow the scent.
带我去找斯坦 Lead me to Stine.
斯坦巧妙的计划简直完美 Stine's ingenious plan worked to perfection.
这恐怖欢乐屋好可怕 The funhouse was terrifying.
与其说是因为斯坦 倒不如说是因为其他人 Not so much for Stine as it was for the others.
但它给我们提供了庇佑 让我们免受埋伏在外的 But it offered refuge from the real terrors
真正恐怖的怪物的追捕 that lurked outside.
想得美 You wish.
他发现我们了 快点 跟上我 He found us. Quickly, follow me.
爸爸 你没说再见就想离开了 Papa, you left without saying goodbye.
想躲着我吗 Trying to hide from me?
更像是在躲避你自己 That's like hiding from yourself.
我是你最好的朋友 你却背叛我 I was your best friend, and you turned your back on me.
锁着我 把我禁锢在书页里 Locked me up, imprisoned me in the pages of a book.
你把我困在书架上一年又一年 You stuck me on a shelf for years and years.
钥匙就在那 The key was right there.
你却从不想放我出去 And you never used it.
你不是真实的 斯拉比 我创造了你 You're not real, slappy. I created you.
同样我也可以让你消失 I can write you out.
我一直在为你救这怪物 I've been saving this monster just for you.
跟我这胶质的朋友问好 跑 Say hello to my gelatinous friend. Run!
就是这团东西会吃人 别让它碰到你 It's the blob that ate everyone. Don't let it touch you.
我们得去更高的地方 We need to get to higher ground.
去摩天轮那里 The Ferris wheel.
扎克 你继续走 我来拖住它 Zach, you go on ahead. I'll hold it off.
你把书写完 You finish the book.
什么 我写什么 What? What do I write?
结尾是什么 我写的故事 What's the end? The story I've been writing.
就是现在正在发生的事 你做得到 写完它 It's what's happening right now. You can do this. End it.
等等 Wait.
爸爸 Dad!
汉娜 他会没事的 好吗 Hannah, he's gonna be okay, all right?
我们必须把这书写完 We have to finish the book.
好 Okay.
不太好玩吧 不是吗 Not so fun, is it?
开始吧 Here we go.
好 Okay.
你感觉怎么样 爸爸 How do you like it, papa?
这世界就在你力所能及的周围 但你动不了 The world is just outside your grasp, but you can't move.
你被困住了 You're trapped.
这就是被困在你书里的感觉 That's what it felt like to be locked inside your books.
等等 那本书 在哪 Wait. The book. Where is it?
当怪兽聚集 As the monsters converged,
扎克闭上了眼睛 Zach closed his eyes,
怪兽被吸入 and the monsters were swallowed
纸和墨的世界 back into the world of paper and ink.
你能打快点吗 我这是第一次 Can you type any faster? This is my first time
用打字机 继续 using a typewriter. Keep going.
找到了 找到了 23 - 69 Eureka, Eureka, 23-69...
他们要来了 我们怎么办 They're coming. What are we gonna do?
写完它 扎克 Finish it, Zach.
一个接着一个 One by one,
怪兽们消失了 the monsters disappeared
回到了书里 back into the book,
又一次 never to be seen...
消失不见 全文完 ...again. The end.
给 现在会发生什么 Here. What happens now?
我们马上就知道了 We're about to find out.
我们都会死去 We're all gonna die!
抓住了 Just hold on!
抓紧 Hold on tight!
这东西的安全带在哪 Where's the seat belt in this thing?
我们走 Let's go.
好 Right.
我没事 我没事 I'm okay. I'm okay.
好 快点 所有的怪兽随时可能会来 Okay. Hurry up. All the monsters will be here any second.
所有的怪兽 All the monsters.
等等 我们还等什么 Wait. What are you waiting for?
快 翻开书 Come on, open the book.
汉娜 有些事你需要知道 Hannah, there's something that you need to know,
你不能 翻开书 扎克 and you're not gonna-- open the book, Zach.
不 不 你不明白 No, no. You don't understand.
如果我们翻开书 那意味着 If we open the book, that means--
那意味着我会被永远困在书架上某个地方 it means I'll be stuck on a shelf someplace forever.
你知道了 You knew?
一个女孩能有几个美好的十六岁呢 How many sweet sixteens can one girl have?
扎克 该继续了 Zach, it's time to move on.
现在翻开书 胆小鬼 Now open the book, scaredy-cat.
不 No.
好 那我来 等等 不要 汉娜 Okay. Then I'll open it. Wait, no. Hannah!
等等 汉娜 我抓住你了 Wait, Hannah. I've got you.
也许如果我抓得够紧 Maybe if I hold on to you tight enough--
你不得不放手 扎克 you have to let go, Zach.
斯拉比有小情绪了 Slappy's not happy!
斯坦也是 Neither is Stine!
你个磨人的小妖精 Stupid dummy!
我会活在你的噩梦里 See you in your dreams!
你会没事的 You'll be okay.
我会一直存在你的想象里 I'll always be in your imagination,
那里才是真正属于我的地方 which is really where I belong.
我只是很遗憾我们从来没能共舞一曲 I'm just sad we never got to share a dance.
等等 Wait.
是的 再多一件外套 我们就很好了 Yeah. One more coat, we should be good.
走吧 女士们先生们 Let's go, ladies and gentlemen.
欢迎回到课堂 伙计们 好了 欢迎回来 Welcome back to class, guys. All right. Welcome back.
嘿 当心 Hey. Watch it.
言归正传 我们走 Back to business. Let's go.
好了 我让你先走60秒 Okay. I'll give you a 60-second head start.
没关系 妈妈 我们一起进去 It's okay, mom. Let's go in together.
下车吧 So mature.
你喜欢就好 You love it.
也许在第四学期之后 Maybe after fourth period.
哦 好 太好了 Oh, okay. That would be great.
你还好吗 深呼吸 你会很棒的 You okay? You breathing? You're gonna be great.
好吗 你看起来很精神 你身上的味道真好闻 Okay? You look great. You smell great.
天啊 什么味 My god, what is that?
我每天早上都搽芫荽 I rub myself in cilantro every morning.
原来如此 我性感的小莎莎 Of course you do, my sexy little salsa.
去忙你的吧 Go on.
好 我要去工作了 Okay. I'm off to work.
哦 我要给你什么来着 Oh, what did I have for you?
接着 There it is.
哦 哦 飘太远了 接住了 Oh. Oh. Went too far. Got it.
你们好 呃哼 Hello. Ahem.
我是R.L.斯坦先生 My name is Mr. R. L. Stine,
我是你们新的英语老师 and I will be your new English teacher,
因为博伊德先生受到了变种昆虫的攻击 受了伤 because Mr. Boyd is still recuperating from injuries
还在恢复当中 sustained in a mutant-insect attack.
现在 Now...
每个所讲的故事 Every story ever told
都可以被分成三个不同的部分 can be broken down into three distinct parts.
开端 The beginning,
中间 the middle
转折 and the twist.
- 你好 斯坦先生 - 你好 布莱克先生 - Hello, Mr. Stine. - Hello, Mr. Black.
呃 那是谁 Uh, who was that?
他是新的戏剧老师 He's the new drama teacher.
- 我可以问你点事吗 - 当然可以 - Can I ask you something? - Of course.
你想她吗 Do you miss her?
我没有一天不想她 Not a day goes by that I don't think of her.
但她会永远在这 But she'll always be in here...
在那 And in there.
在这 And right here...
在这 And in here.
也会在那 And also right over there.
我可能又写了一本书 I may have written one more book.
汉娜 Hannah.
你是 你是真实的 You're-- you're real.
你回来了 You came back.
我不得不 你还欠我一支舞呢 I had to. You owe me a dance.
来 我们走吧 Come on, let's go.
你忘记我了 You forgot about me.