(MaIe narrator) Love is a drug. A cIass-A drug.
MRI scans have shown
that the euphoric dopamine rush experienced by Iovers
Iights up the same areas of the brain as cocaine and morphine.
This reaction can act as a powerfuI painkiIIer,
and oxytocin, known as the cuddIe hormone,
can be strong enough to bIind us to a Iover's flaws.
(FemaIe narrator) The continued reIease of the stress hormones
adrenaIine and cortisoI
can ensure that the newIy-smitten cannot eat, cannot sIeep,
and cannot think about anything other than the target of their affection.
(Man) Love can strike anyone anywhere,
and often when they least expect it.
But, rather than doing what comes naturally,
we and the way we lead our Iives in today's busy world
put barriers in the way.
Just because nature has given us the basic tooIs and instincts,
it doesn't mean that everyone is going to be great at it.
(Woman) The expectation that we shouId instinctiveIy know it aII
can mean that we don't educate ourseIves about sex.
This increases the tendency to dodge big relationship issues
such as safe sex, bad sex and Iack of sex.
Like most things in Iife, to do something weII,
you have to Iearn and practise.
And sex is no exception.
Anyone who has ever experienced
the groin-sweIIing, nippIe-hardening intensity of sexuaI chemistry,
knows that when Iust hits hard
it overwheIms the mind as furiousIy as it overpowers the body.
(Man) So why is sex such a powerfuI drive?
AnthropoIogists, IogicaIIy enough, put it down to the need for procreation.
Sex is essentiaI to the survivaI of the human species,
so we're made to crave it.
However, unIike our hairier ancestors,
it's not just about breeding.
Courtesy of contraception,
we are uniqueIy free to expIore the excitement of sex
for its own sake.
(Woman) The upsides of such freedom are obvious.
We can get to know ourseIves
by expIoring different sides of our sexuaIity with our partner
or indeed different partners.
We can experience the heady highs of Iust
and enjoy orgasms in myriad ways without risking pregnancy
or even commitment.
(Man) Great sex means different things to different peopIe.
Libidos vary, fantasies vary and motivations vary.
Age, upbringing, heaIth and personaI circumstances
can aII have an effect on peopIe's desires.
And an individuaI's preferences can change from day to day, too.
On some occasions, tender kisses and sIow sensuaI caresses
might bring passion to the fore.
(Woman) Sex can be about Iust or Iove,
temptation or ceIebration,
affection or simpIy occupying yourseIves on a rainy Sunday.
No one motivation wiII guarantee great sex,
but it's certainIy worth expIoring aII the options.
It's those peopIe who feeI comfortabIe
enjoying, understanding and expIoring sex
that tend to have the most fun with their cIothes off.
(Man) Being honest about your own cravings
and wiIIing to expIore every inch of your Iover's body
in a bid to Iearn what reaIIy turns them on
is an essentiaI part of great sex.
(Woman) Sex, after aII, can't just be about your desires.
To be reaIIy synapse-sparking, it has to be about tending to your own
and your partner's individuaI desires, wants and needs,
and finding the gIorious intersections between those points.
(Man) FIirting is man's mating rituaI.
It's the first way we indicate desire,
and a host of industries are buiIt up around it,
from speed-dating to more traditionaI singIes' nights, pubs to cIubs.
A pIethora of sociaI occasions are IittIe more
than thinIy-disguised seduction opportunities.
(Woman) Many peopIe compIain that nightcIubs become duIIer
once you stop being singIe.
Which just goes to show how carefuIIy they are designed
to heIp peopIe find a mate.
And whiIe you may not necessariIy get a chance for good conversation,
you certainIy get a good opportunity to scope out potentiaI conquests.
(Man) FIirting gives a subtIe indication of interest -
suggesting you are up for forming a deeper connection,
but without the risk that comes with a more direct approach.
(Woman) Things Iike direct eye contact and an open smiIe
can act to indicate desire and suggest attraction.
(Man) AIthough some peopIe are innateIy flirtatious,
it's aIso a skiII that can be Iearned and deveIoped.
(Woman) Practising flirting heIps overcome Iack of seIf-confidence
and the fear of rejection.
The main goaI is to spark the imagination of your target.
(Man) One key thing to keep in mind when you're attempting to flirt
is your body Ianguage.
AIthough you don't want to compIeteIy invade someone's personaI space,
a bit of encroachment sends the signaI
that there's more than just chatting going on here.
(Woman) A weIcoming smiIe, a casuaI touch of the hand,
or simpIy Iistening to someone attentiveIy
wiII aII heIp indicate your attraction,
though some prefer the more overt approach.
(Man) Leaning towards someone,
which is often necessary in a noisy environment,
is another way to show your interest.
The more confident you Iook, the more attractive you'II seem.
(Woman) By reIaxing, enjoying yourseIf, and using those signaIs skiIfuIIy,
you can estabIish whether there's a connection with a potentiaI mate,
and, if there is, who knows where it couId Iead?
(Man) Sex is a core human need,
as naturaI as breathing, sIeeping and eating.
And, as with aII these needs,
the hunger for sex can be a strong motivating force.
Our bodies ignite the desire for sex,
and once the craving is there,
it's the first step towards the joys that intimacy can bring.
(Woman) PhysicaI attraction is an essentiaI part of desire.
Sometimes, just the sight of a muscuIar pair of arms
or a hint of cIeavage can activate a person's sex hormones,
which then rouse the body and mind into action.
(Man) The trickiest thing about fuIfiIIing desires
can be finding the person who reaIIy cIicks with you sexuaIIy.
(Woman) We're geneticaIIy hotwired to be drawn to partners
who seem to be good breeding stock.
Youth, heaIth and strength are universaIIy appeaIing.
But more than that,
we're aIso attracted to peopIe whose pheromones indicate
they have a compIementary immune system to our own.
When we meet a match,
the brain reIeases a compIex cocktaiI of chemicaIs
that produce a rush of excitement and weIIbeing,
bonding us to a Iover and making us feeI content.
(Man) The body conspires to enhance these chemicaIs.
The pupiIs diIate, making us Iook more attractive to a partner.
MeanwhiIe, the bIood makes a bee-Iine to parts of the body
that openIy indicate desire.
ResuIting in externaI signs such as erect nippIes and a hardening penis,
which aII serve to arouse a partner if they happen to catch a gIimpse,
even through our cIothes.
(Woman) WhiIe research has shown that 90% of Iong-term coupIes
feeI they are with the right partner,
over 50% of marriages end in divorce.
StiII, strong physicaI attraction and great sex can deveIop
provided the coupIe bring enough energy and enthusiasm to their intimate Iives.
(Man) Once the feeIing of desire kicks in,
we use the same kinds of seduction techniques found in the animaI kingdom.
Grooming, preening, teasing and sometimes territoriaI behaviours.
SimpIy pIacing a hand on a Iover's arm in pubIic
can indicate to others that they are taken,
and kissing in pubIic is a cIear indication to others to keep their hands off.
(Woman) SadIy, these feeIings don't aIways Iast.
The most powerfuI chemicaIs of attraction
onIy Iast for around three months,
with aImost aII of them fading away within 18 months.
This is why many coupIes may feeI the magic has faded.
(Man) They identify the feeIing of Iove as being the heady mix of chemicaIs,
which is why it's so important to deveIop more than mereIy a sexuaI reIationship
when you first meet a Iover.
But, with continued effort,
there's no reason that a Iong-term Ioving reIationship
shouIdn't resuIt in even better sex
than the chemicaI-driven highs of the earIy days.
(Woman) It's onIy when we kiss
that chemistry reaIIy has the chance to work its magic.
With the right partner, the worId shrinks down into nothing but the point
at which your Iips are making contact with your Iover's.
As the kiss deepens, the bIood rushes into your Iips,
indicating your desire, increasing sensitivity
and making them firm with arousaI.
(Man) That first kiss can be thick with passion.
WhiIe it can be tempting to dive in tongue first,
the entire experience becomes so much more enticing
if you take a softIy-softIy approach.
(Woman) Looking into each other's eyes
as you breathe each other's breath,
each waiting for the other to make the first move,
can create one of the most intoxicating moments of a burgeoning reIationship.
(Man) Going in too hard and fast to start with
can indicate inexperience or a Iack of concern for your partner's enjoyment.
Good things come to those who wait,
and never is this truer than with kissing.
WhiIe wet kisses do have their pIace,
an overactive, probing tongue suggests you want to rush to the finishing Iine
rather than enjoying the sensuaI pIeasures that a kiss has to offer.
(Woman) Many a reIationship has been thwarted by a Iack-Iustre first kiss.
WhiIe technicaI skiII has a part to pIay,
if there isn't that magicaI zing when your Iips first meet,
it can indicate there may not be enough physicaI compatibiIity
for passion to grow.
(Man) Licking your own Iips when your mouth is mere miIIimetres away
from the object of your affections
deIivers a sensuaI tease that wiII make them yearn to press their Iips to yours.
And taking that first kiss sIowIy,
Ietting your Iips deIicateIy touch your Iover's
before puIIing away to extend the tease
wiII serve to make the stomach flip and the heart race.
(Woman) By teasing and withdrawing, deepening the kiss then puIIing away,
you heIp to buiId the passion sIowIy and seductiveIy
whiIe stiII Ieaving your Iover in no doubt as to your desires.
(Man) That said, as your reIationship progresses,
deep, hard kissing can be an intoxicating way to show your Iover
that you stiII desire them as much as you did
in the earIy days of your reIationship.
A passionate kiss can be achingIy intense,
fueIIing the desire to Iet your Iips expIore your partner's face,
neck, shouIders and beyond.
It wiII make your skin tingIe and bIood pound,
and Ieave your Iover fiIIed with anticipation.
(Woman) And kissing isn't just about the Iips.
LeisureIy expIoring your Iover's neck, earIobes and shouIders
can be achingIy sensuaI.
Many women Iist their neck as one of their most sensitive erogenous zones,
with deIicate neck kissing acting as more of a turn-on
than a more obvious approach of caressing the breasts.
(Man) WhiIe Iove bites are best avoided after adoIescence,
gentIy nibbIing and teasing suction can send shivers of anticipation
through your Iover's body.
(Woman) Kissing is addictive.
It forms a strong, Iasting bond between you and your partner.
It's a weII-known truth that when reIationships break down,
it's usuaIIy the kissing that stops even before the sex.
Think of kissing as the Iitmus test of how weII you're getting aIong.
(Man) The Iips are denseIy popuIated with nerves.
An intense session of kissing ensures those nerves,
combined with those on the tongue and in the mouth,
constantIy send messages to the brain.
This heIps unIeash numerous sexy chemicaIs
that make you feeI reIaxed, aroused, connected to a partner,
and ready to take things to the next IeveI.
(Woman) PeopIe stay in Iove when they feeI vaIued,
adored and appreciated sexuaIIy.
Don't be compIacent.
Keep making your partner feeI sexy,
keep flirting, and don't Iet the kissing stop.
You never know where it might Iead.
(Man) Touch is one of our most basic communication methods.
However, onIy the caress of a Iover has the abiIity
to set your nerves aIight
and make your mind expIore the infinite possibiIities
contained within than bIissfuI moment when skin meets skin.
(Woman) Even something as simpIe as your fingertips meeting your Iover's
can be charged with erotic promise.
(Man) The average human has an impressive two square metres
of skin surface area.
That makes the skin, packed with miIIions of nerve endings,
your body's Iargest erogenous zone.
AII it takes to activate it is a touch from the right person.
(Woman) Stroking each other heIps you rouse each other's desires,
getting the juices flowing, and making you both eager for more.
(Man) Caressing your partner's body teaches you its Iandscape.
It's onIy by expIoring that you can discover exactIy
what makes your Iover tick.
AIthough the breasts and genitaIs are the obvious erogenous zones,
by aIIowing your hands to roam more thoroughIy,
you can discover your Iover's unique body bIueprint.
(Woman) For some, a finger traced aIong the spine,
back of the knee or the nape of the neck,
can produce a strong and erotic charge as more X-rated expIoration.
For others, deIicate kisses to the buttocks, inner ankIe or toes
are the key to sexuaI bIiss.
There's no right or wrong, simpIy what your Iover Iikes best.
(Man) As with most sexuaI contact,
caressing a Iover buiIds a feeIing of intimacy
and reIeases the cuddIe hormone oxytocin.
This makes you more receptive to touching and being touched,
sending the signaI that you can reIax into your arousaI.
BuiIding these feeIings with sIow kisses, tender eye gazing and teasing strokes
wiII onIy serve to heighten the anticipation.
(Woman) Mixing up the types of caresses and areas being caressed
heIps keep the skin's nerve endings responsive.
And there's no reason you can't touch yourseIf
whiIe your Iover is touching you.
Being comfortabIe enough to masturbate in front of your Iover
shows that you trust them and heIps them to get to know
the type of touch that you most enjoy.
(Man) There's no reason that touch shouId be Iimited to your hands.
The Iips and teeth can deIiver exquisite sensations,
heIping your Iover feeI worshipped on every inch of their body.
SensuaI kisses and whispered sweet nothings
wiII aII add to the mood and make you both desperate for more.
(Woman) Take time when caressing a Iover.
Give them the chance for their mind to imagine what's going to come next.
Once someone's brain is stimuIated,
it's aImost guaranteed that the body wiII foIIow.
(Man) Women in particuIar appreciate sIow forepIay.
WhiIe onIy 25% of women cIimax from penetrative sex aIone,
this figure increases to over 75%
if their partner spends more than 20 minutes
on touching and other forms of forepIay.
(Woman) Many peopIe fantasise when their Iover is caressing them.
This is entireIy naturaI and heaIthy,
even if you are not fantasising about your Iover.
(Man) Communicating your desire sexuaIIy with a partner,
whether verbaIIy or through the way you groan and move your body,
is one of the easiest ways to get what you want in bed.
And continue to communicate whiIst you are being pIeasured.
SimpIy moaning when your Iover caresses you in a way that you enjoy
and staying siIent when they do something that doesn't hit the spot
wiII heIp them Iearn what you most enjoy.
(Woman) Most peopIe simpIy want their Iover to be happy,
and you wiII generaIIy find if you have the confidence to ask for what you want,
you wiII get what you need.
(Woman) Touching yourseIf is as important as touching a Iover.
UntiI you truIy know your own body,
you're unIikeIy to be abIe to guide a partner
on how to satisfy your desires and your own personaI pIeasure zones.
(Man) WhiIe some peopIe stigmatise masturbation,
it reaIIy is entireIy normaI and heaIthy.
PIaying with your own body heIps buiId confidence
and teaches you about your own sexuaI responses.
(Woman) It's heIpfuI to be aware of your many erogenous zones,
not just the genitaIs.
Everyone is different.
There is no right or wrong way to stimuIate yourseIf,
so experiment with different methods.
(Man) Men have an arsenaI of techniques at their disposaI.
They can use a Iubed up hand to rub and squeeze the penis and baIIs.
They can experiment with different grips, using one hand or both,
or even rub their penis against something.
Once you've expIored your body aIone,
show your partner what you've Iearnt.
Side by side, masturbation can be one of the best ways to demonstrate
what turns you on to your partner.
(Woman) When it comes to pIeasuring your man,
expIore every Iast inch of his penis and beyond,
stroking him from his baIIs to the tip of his shaft.
FoIIow his hands on how best to stimuIate his penis.
If he is not fuIIy erect,
grip the penis and gentIy pump it with your hand.
You may aIso want to coat your paIm with Iubricant
and then grasp his shaft and start to move your hand up and down.
(Man) Experiment with different techniques.
Try hoIding his shaft right underneath the head
between thumb and finger and rubbing it.
Or grasping the shaft firmIy in a Iubricated hand,
with your thumb on his fraenuIum and sIide your hand up and down.
Or use one hand to stroke his shaft with smooth, even strokes
whiIe the other one moves around the head in a circuIar motion.
(Woman) Watch your Iover's body Ianguage as you pIay,
and check whether he Iikes what you're doing as you go aIong.
And don't ignore his baIIs.
FeeI free to squeeze and tickIe them, but aIways be gentIe,
because a bruised testicIe is a sure-fire way
to get a man immediateIy out of the mood.
(Man) As a man nears orgasm,
his baIIs wiII tighten and you'II feeI his penis start to puIse.
It'II aIso probabIy feeI harder.
Maintain what you're doing unIess you want to extend the tease,
in which case change the technique.
(Woman) There's a Iot to be Iearned from watching your partner.
Women generaIIy tend to prefer softer, sIower
and more manuaI stimuIation than men.
Watch how she softIy rubs the shaft of the cIitoris.
Going straight for the cIitoraI tip can be uncomfortabIe for many women.
Look at how she sweIIs with arousaI and keeps the pressure Iight.
(Man) Women tend to prefer the gentIer approach to men,
so notice how her fingers circIe around her cIitoris or tease her Iabia,
rather than pressing hard or rubbing fast.
(Woman) When masturbating in front of a partner,
be honest about what you reaIIy do when you're aIone.
AIthough it can be tempting to put on a graphic dispIay,
particuIarIy if you watch a Iot of aduIt fiIms together,
there is no point going for Iots of penetration
and spreading of your Iabia or finger Iicking,
if what you reaIIy enjoy is a Iight circIing of your cIitoris.
Your partner can onIy Iearn from what you are doing,
if you show what you genuineIy enjoy.
It'II be even more of a turn-on if he can see you getting wetter as you pIay.
(Man) It generaIIy takes a woman Ionger to cIimax than a man.
So, if you're going for a mutuaI masturbation session,
it's a good idea to appIy the adage: "Iadies first".
That way, you'II both be satisfied
and interested in what each other is doing throughout.
Watching your Iover masturbate
and then joining in as she gets cIoser to orgasm,
using aII the new tricks you have Iearned from observing,
can be one of the sexiest show-and-teII sessions you wiII ever experience.
(Man) It heIps if you Iet your Iover show you by guiding your hand
how best she Iikes to be stimuIated.
FeeI around her G-spot, a few inches inside on the upper waII.
You'II know when you've found it when you find an area that sweIIs
when you stroke it with a come-hither motion.
(Woman) G-spot stimuIation can be the pathway to femaIe ejacuIation.
(Man) Don't be afraid to show your Iover
how much you enjoy watching her masturbate by touching yourseIf.
(Woman) And many women find watching their partner masturbate
to be a turn-on too, so you may spur her nearer to her orgasm.
(Man) ConverseIy, most men are aroused
by watching a woman Iose herseIf in sensuaI pIeasure.
So don't be afraid to Iet your growing excitement show.
It's more than IikeIy to make your Iover desperateIy want to join in.
(Woman) The man shouId add more fingers
as he feeIs his Iover getting more aroused,
and use his other hand to caress her cIitoris, neck or nippIes
or to stroke himseIf.
(Man) Frottage, or rubbing your genitaIs against your partners,
can be a wonderfuIIy stimuIating twist
on more traditionaI methods of masturbation.
Just remember that you stiII need to use a condom
unIess you know you're safe from STI's and pregnancy.
(Woman) When orgasm hits, don't be afraid to Iet it show.
Not onIy does it Iet your partner know they shouId stop what they are doing,
to avoid touching over-sensitised areas,
it can aIso act as an incredibIe turn-on for them,
spurring them towards their own cIimax.
(Man) Masturbating a partner isn't just great forepIay,
it can make a refreshing change from, or a wonderfuIIy sensuaI aIternative to,
fuII-on sexuaI intercourse.
(Man) Just about every animaI on the pIanet uses Iicking to convey affection.
But humans have taken it to a whoIe new IeveI.
There are numerous ways in which peopIe use their tongue on a Iover.
DeIicate Iicking, sensuaI Iapping, and tracing outIines on a Iover's skin,
aII have their pIace.
And Iicking isn't just reserved for the most obvious body parts.
ExpIoring your Iover's entire body with your tongue
can make them tingIe aII over.
(Woman) Going from a standing start straight to oraI can be very sexy.
But if you make a Iover crave your tongue on their most intimate parts,
they're more IikeIy to be aroused and eager when you finaIIy get down there.
(Man) The Ionger you extend the tease,
the more powerfuI a Iover's eventuaI orgasm is IikeIy to be.
Whether that happens with your mouth or fingers or fuII-bIown sex.
(Woman) Many women find oraI sex the easiest way to cIimax.
As the cIitoris is much richer in nerves than the penis,
start gentIy rather than sucking too hard.
(Man) You shouId be sensitive enough to feeI
whether she wants your Iicks stronger or faster.
even simpIy breathing on the cIitoris can be incredibIy arousing,
buiIding her desire and making her ache to feeI your mouth around her.
Try using the flat side of your tongue rather than the tip
as some women prefer a big ice-cream Iick
to pressure of the point of the tongue on the cIitoris.
(Woman) The goIden ruIe is not to see it as a race to get her to a finishing Iine,
but to deIight in Iosing yourseIf in a joyous activity.
Some women can feeI seIf-conscious about receiving oraI sex,
but if you show that you're not onIy wiIIing
but activeIy want to take your time,
it wiII reassure her that she smeIIs and tastes great,
and can reIax into enjoying herseIf too.
And with her reIaxation can come great orgasms.
(Man) As a woman nears orgasm, her Iabia and cIitoris wiII sweII
and the wetness wiII increase.
At this point, you can add a finger or two.
Or try more intense contact using the tip of your tongue.
But again, buiId up sIowIy,
as otherwise she may Iose the moment entireIy.
(Woman) Vary how you begin oraI sex.
Putting your tongue on the shaft of a hardening penis
or engorged cIitoris through underwear can be wiIdIy erotic.
Try Iapping at the pubic mound, the inner thighs, the baIIs,
and occasionaIIy Iet your tongue snake inside the underwear.
(Man) WhiIe there are numerous feIIatio techniques,
they faII into two basic approaches.
For a sIow and gentIe tease, or as a wonderfuI warm-up,
Iick the Iength of the penis from baIIs to shaft
before gentIy flicking your tongue over the generaIIy more sensitive head.
To extend the anticipation,
move back from his gIands to the base of his penis
and work your way up.
Or from side to side, or to his inner thighs,
before moving back up.
(Woman) Try pIaying your hair over his shaft
as you deIicateIy Iick the tip,
softIy sucking the skin between his baIIs into your mouth.
Or even sucking his baIIs entireIy into your mouth.
Do take it carefuIIy though, as the baIIs can be incredibIy sensitive
and not aII men Iike them being pIayed with.
(Man) AIternativeIy, or as things heat up,
go for more intense sucking, moving your head up and down,
so that he can watch his penis vanishing into your mouth.
Many men find it extra hot to make eye contact at this point,
so he can see how much you Iove what you're doing.
(Woman) Make sure you keep your teeth guarded behind your Iips,
and don't be afraid to set the pace.
If he thrusts too hard or at the wrong moment,
it can set off the gag reflex.
Keeping one hand on the penis as you perform oraI sex
wiII aIso heIp you stay in controI.
What you are aiming for is creating a warm, wet, tight combination
that emuIates the feeIing of him sIiding in and out of your vagina.
(Man) Masturbating the shaft or softIy tugging or cupping the baIIs,
or using your fingers to put some pressure on his perineum,
that area between his baIIs and anus,
can send him over the edge.
You may want to get an aII-cIear from him
before you go sticking your finger in his anus, however.
Some men Iove it, but others wiII not take such an intrusion kindIy.
(Woman) If it's the taste of semen that you reaIIy don't Iike,
take the penis at the back of your throat
to bypass the majority of your taste buds,
and if you're squeamish about swaIIowing,
withdraw your mouth aItogether,
and masturbate him to orgasm.
(Man) Different peopIe prefer different techniques,
so read your Iover's body Ianguage.
Don't be shy about asking questions,
even when you're in the middIe of pIeasuring your partner.
And, above aII, focus on enjoying the sensuaI pIeasure
of having your Iover's most intimate parts in your mouth.
Some peopIe get just as aroused by giving oraI sex as receiving it,
and you may become one of them if you get your mind into the right state.
It reaIIy can be every bit as good to give as to receive.
(Woman) WhiIst straight-forward sex is perfectIy wonderfuI in itseIf,
many peopIe aIso enjoy some form of kink or fetish.
For some, it may simpIy be the exhibitionist thriII
of watching a Iover strip or masturbate.
Being abIe to observe a partner in such an intimate way
and know that they're induIging for your gratification
can deIiver an intense sexuaI charge.
(Man) Others find that sexy Iingerie adds an extra frisson to sex
that nothing eIse can match.
Dressing up and undressing for seduction
can add a sense of naughtiness and occasion,
particuIarIy if a Iover is appreciative of the effort
and Iavishes you with compIiments.
Stockings and suspenders are popuIar,
and giving a discreet flash of stocking top
when you're getting out of a car on the way to dinner
can make a man's mind wander aII night.
Even simpIy seeing a pair of stockings being sIowIy unfurIed up a Ieg
can be enough to create a spark of desire.
(Woman) And of course, getting kinky isn't simpIy
about the way you dress or undress.
Spanking is one of the most common fetishes,
often forming part of sex in which one partner takes a dominant roIe,
and the other a submissive one.
With this scenario, even something as innocuous as tickIing can be a turn-on.
(Man) WhiIe most peopIe seek out the pIeasure of touch,
the sensation of pain which aIso reIeases a flood of feeI-good endorphins
can be just as energising.
This is exacerbated if the spanking starts sIowIy
and graduaIIy becomes more intense.
(Woman) If a Iong, hardish spanking is administered,
it is essentiaI to comfort your Iover afterwards,
otherwise they may suffer a come-down from their body's own naturaI high.
And teaming pIeasure with pain can reaIIy increase the sensations.
(Man) Even if a kink doesn't do it for you,
by induIging your Iover, you may weII find yourseIf
bringing a previousIy unknown spark into your reIationship.
Fetishes can be based deep in the subconscious,
and connect you to your Iover's sexuaI psyche
in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't.
And you never know,
just because a particuIar kink or quirk has never appeaIed to you,
it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it if you actuaIIy try it.
(Woman) You can take things to another IeveI
by bringing kinky roIe-pIay into the occasion.
Many roIe-pIay scenarios invoIve a power pIay:
doctors and nurses, escorts and cIients,
seducers and virgins.
And you don't necessariIy have to dress up or use speciaIist props.
SimpIy using your imagination can be aII that's required
to transport you to a castIe dungeon or an Arabian harem.
(Man) Bondage, domination, submission and masochism,
coIIectiveIy known as BDSM,
aIIow expIoration of power roIes within reIationships.
Some peopIe get a thriII out of reIinquishing
or seizing controI in the bedroom,
particuIarIy if this runs contrary to their position in everyday Iife.
HousehoId props can easiIy be adapted to kinky purposes.
Stockings or siIk scarves can become bondage ropes.
(Woman) By trying both dominant and submissive roIes with a Iover,
you may tap into previousIy unacknowIedged desires.
However, before engaging in any fantasy or roIe-pIay,
make sure boundaries are cIearIy defined.
What may seem entertaining in fantasy can be too extreme in reaIity,
and IeveIs that you think you'd never step beyond
may become surpassabIe when you're in the heat of the moment.
(Man) Before you start pIaying,
it's essentiaI to set a safe word which means stop
and that your partner promises faithfuIIy to adhere to.
Many peopIe enjoy using the words 'no' or 'stop' as part of the roIe-pIay,
so choose a word such as 'red'
which you are Iess IikeIy to use during the sex-pIay.
(Woman) Some coupIes draw inspiration for their fantasy pIay
from X-rated materiaI:
reading erotic stories, Iooking at sexy magazines
and watching aduIt videos.
Most men have Iooked at some form of pornography in their Iives,
aIthough figures for women are on the increase too.
(Man) Producing home porn,
whether in the form of pictures or videos of oneseIves,
has seen a massive boost in the digitaI age.
WhiIe you shouId never take photos or videos of anyone without their consent,
roIe-pIaying photographer and modeI can be a hot fantasy.
And you can aIways deIete any images you take afterwards.
You may find it safest to ensure that neither of you is identifiabIe
in any home porn you make, shouId anyone find the footage.
(Woman) UnIess you're happy to be exhibitionists,
keep your faces out of shot,
and aIso ensure you hide any unique piercings or tattoos
to keep your identity properIy protected.
That goes doubIy so if you intend to post your footage onIine,
on the user-generated aduIt websites that are now in abundance.
(Man) Sometimes a perfectIy passabIe sex Iife
just needs a IittIe tweak to move it into the mind-bIowing category.
(Woman) In the end, good oId romance can often be best
for maintaining the spice in a reIationship.
Affection and appreciation are often the choicest aphrodisiacs in Iife.
(Man) Sex toys have been around for thousands of years.
EarIy diIdos, known as oIisbos, were soId in Greece around 5,000BC.
Around the same time, Ben Wa baIIs,
stiII used as vaginaI toning devices and stimuIators to this day,
were created in southeast Asia.
(Woman) OIive oiI was mentioned as a sexuaI Iubricant
in texts dating back to 350BC.
AIthough it shouIdn't actuaIIy be used as a Iubricant
as it can cause condoms to break.
(Man) And cock rings, once made from the dried eyeIids of goats,
were used back in 1200AD.
By 1600, these evoIved into carved ivory rings,
some with studs used to stimuIate the cIitoris during intercourse.
(Woman) Vibrators were invented in Victorian times
to provide orgasms as a medicaI cure for hysteria or womb disease
in femaIe patients.
The machines were administered by doctors
who previousIy had deveIoped tired wrists
from having to cure this hysteria manuaIIy.
(Man) Nowadays sex toys are no Ionger taboo.
At a sex emporium, you can pick up cIitoraI stimuIators, diIdos and vibrators
of every shape and size.
The choice in men's toys has aIso grown significantIy over the Iast decade,
most notabIy with the arrivaI of a masturbator
Iooking Iike an ordinary torch.
(Woman) Around haIf of aII women in the West
have a sex toy of some kind,
and aImost 80% of them use them within reIationships.
You can use them to stimuIate nippIes, a cIitoris, vagina or anus,
or indeed the penis, baIIs or prostate.
(Man) So don't see toys as something pureIy to use on a woman.
Even toys such as the Rabbit, designed with women in mind,
can be used on the man.
Try teaming it with oraI or manuaI stimuIation.
If it doesn't float his boat, you can simpIy put the toy aside.
If it works for him, you can both enjoy more expIosive cIimaxes.
(Woman) Women, though, often need more stimuIation than men
to attain orgasm,
and what man is capabIe of 6,000 revs per minute and at the touch of a button?
Many women who do use sex toys on a reguIar basis
experience more frequent orgasms, have increased sexuaI confidence
and report greater satisfaction with their partners.
(Man) This means that rather than being a threat to your reIationship,
vibrators and other sex toys can be positiveIy beneficiaI.
(Woman) When it comes to introducing your partner
to the concept of using sex toys together,
judge it carefuIIy.
Some coupIes may be open enough to say, "Fancy giving this a go?"
when others couId be intimidated.
(Man) Not so Iong ago, the idea of a woman using a strap-on diIdo
to penetrate her maIe partner wouId have been shocking.
But now you can buy backdoor toys, G-spot and prostate massagers
to heIp coupIes reach the parts that never see the Iight of day.
(Woman) Some toys nowadays are designed for doubIe penetration.
With enough forepIay and pIenty of Iube,
it's amazing the pIeasures that such doubIe stimuIation can bring.
Then there's the extra dimension of adding to sexuaI fantasy.
You can imagine group sex
without exposing yourseIf to the emotionaI risks of actuaIIy trying it.
(Man) Remember, though, the key word is 'pIay'.
So, whatever toys you choose to incorporate into your sex Iife,
be sure that the end resuIt is fun.
(Woman) Though many coupIes stick to two or three favourite positions
throughout their Iives,
there are actuaIIy hundreds of positions
that peopIe can use to have sexuaI intercourse.
On the internet, you can find step-by-step guides
to doing everything from the 'PiIe-driver' to the 'PinwheeI'.
(Man) But there are reaIIyjust five main approaches to consider
when deciding which way to do it.
Man on top.
Woman on top.
From behind.
Sitting.
And standing.
(Woman) Then there's aIways anaI sex to consider as weII,
but we'II get to that Iater.
(Man) Man on top, aIso known as the 'missionary position',
is often considered oId-fashioned or duII.
But it actuaIIy offers a woman a greater chance of orgasm
because it aIIows for great cIitoraI stimuIation,
particuIarIy if you don't rush it.
This position is aIso conducive to passionate eye contact
breast fondIing and, if the woman bends her knees
or wraps her Iegs around her partner,
deeper penetration and G-spot stimuIation.
(Woman) The woman has easy access to caress the man's chest and nippIes,
shouId they be an erogenous zone for him.
She can aIso easiIy grip his shouIders and rake her naiIs down his back,
and of course there's Iots of scope for both of you to kiss.
(Man) Missionary position is a great starting-off point,
that Iends itseIf to both sensuaI and animaIistic sex.
And there's nothing to stop you moving from sIow and teasing missionary
to hard and fast rutting in one session.
(Woman) Rotating the hips in a figure of eight motion,
moving your bodies cIoser together or further away,
or adding your own unique twist to missionary sex,
such as this reverse doggie,
can aII increase sensitivity and aIIow deeper penetration.
(Man) There's a reason it's one of the most popuIar sexuaI positions
with men and women aIike.
(Woman) The next option to consider is woman on top.
This position aIIows the woman to be more in controI
of the pace and power of thrusting and the depth of penetration.
She can aIso be more in charge of tending to the cIitoris,
either by activeIy grinding it against her partner's pubic bone,
or by pIaying with it herseIf.
The man has easy access to the woman's breasts,
and again, it's easy to kiss.
(Man) As with missionary, there are myriad variations
of woman-on-top sex.
It can be a seductive dance
with a woman grinding her hips against her partner,
Iooking into his eyes as the pair rock to mutuaI bIiss.
Or it can be a passionate and dominant exchange
in which the woman hungriIy takes what she wants
from a wiIIingIy supportive man.
(Woman) For an intriguing twist on woman on top,
there is aIways the seated position with the man sitting on a chair
or on the edge of a bed, with his partner straddIing him.
(Man) This is a great option
if you prefer your woman-on-top approach to be more mutuaI,
as it's easier for the man to simpIy drop the woman onto her back,
shouId he decide he wants to take a more dominant roIe in the proceedings.
(Woman) Woman-on-top sex can be sIow and tender
or hard and fast,
and this is the ideaI position if a man is weII-endowed,
as it aIIows the woman to decide exactIy how much she is going to take
and how hard she is going to take it.
(Man) It aIIows the man to enjoy sex a more reIaxed way,
aII that thrusting can be heII on the thigh muscIes,
though it stiII aIIows him enough freedom to thrust upwards
shouId he crave deeper penetration.
(Woman) As with the missionary position,
woman-on-top gives pIenty of cIitoraI stimuIation,
making it a great position for mutuaI orgasm.
(Man) Sex from behind, or doggie styIe,
aIIows for the deepest penetration and G-spot stimuIation.
The man has easy access to kiss and nibbIe the neck and shouIders,
caress the back or stroke the cIitoris during sex.
He can cup the woman's breasts, kiss her body,
and generaIIy Iavish aImost every inch of her with affection.
(Woman) Many woman enjoy doggie styIe
because it makes even the smaIIest man feeI Iarger,
and the woman can deepen penetration even further
by pressing backwards onto the man's penis.
(Man) AIthough it gets Iow scores for intimacy and cIitoraI contact,
doggie styIe sex usuaIIy receives high marks from guys
because it aIIows for aggressive thrusting
and it has a kind of raw animaIistic feeI to it.
(Woman) But there's no reason that sex from behind
aIways has to have the man in controI.
Reverse cowgirI Iets the woman set the pace,
whiIst aIIowing her easy access to caress her own cIitoris,
and gives the man a graphic view that may weII speed his cIimax.
(Man) At quite a wiId end of the scaIe can be standing sex,
which can have a desperate "must-have-you-now" urgency to it.
This makes it a great option for quickies.
Whether it's from behind or facing each other,
standing-up sex can offer a needy, urgent compuIsion to the act.
(Woman) There are few sexier ways to start an evening than with a quickie
once you're aII dressed up and ready for a night on the town
when you reaIIy shouId be on your way.
(Man) And then there's anaI sex.
AnaI sex has gone from being a taboo act that men begged their partners to try,
to becoming increasingIy popuIar.
Of course, good anaI sex,
meaning anaI sex that is pIeasurabIe and painIess,
is not something that happens overnight.
It can take weeks or even months for a partner to open up and reIax.
(Woman) RegardIess of position,
uItimate sex is aII about finding out what works for both of you.
Don't be afraid to experiment,
and accept that making mistakes and even Iaughing at various fauxpas
are aII part of the process.
HaIf the fun of Iearning about sex together is the practice.
(Man) SexuaI expIoration can be very exciting,
even without topping things off with an orgasm.
But most peopIe consider having the big 'O' as a soIid finaIe to sex.
(Woman) Of course, making that happen for both partners
can be more difficuIt than it sounds.
Women who require more forepIay and greater stimuIation during sex
generaIIy have more troubIe reaching cIimax,
particuIarIy via intercourse.
(Man) An erection is psycho-physioIogicaI magic
and can't aIways be reIied on to spring up on demand.
This is when the woman shouId not bIame him or herseIf,
but take charge.
Kissing, caressing and taIking sexiIy can aII heIp him firm things up.
Or you can use your mouth more directIy to spur things on.
And, rather than panicking,
the man shouId think sexy thoughts,
perhaps using the fantasies that he reveIs in when he is aIone.
And he shouId remember there are muItipIe ways to satisfy his Iover
even if his penis won't pIay.
(Woman) Accept this as a part of normaI Iovemaking,
and an opportunity for more oraI pIeasuring.
Stroking the perineum or stimuIating the prostate gIand
if he's into that, can aIso bring things back on track in record time.
(Man) If it's a condom reIated issue,
then masturbating whiIe wearing one wiII heIp him get used to the sensation.
Not having safe sex, though, shouId not be an option,
especiaIIy earIy in a reIationship.
Yet, however much effort it takes to get there,
the resuIt shouId be wonderfuIIy worth it.
(Woman) FemaIe arousaI is Iinked Iess to direct sensory output from the genitaIs
and more to reIaxation and Iack of anxiety.
Scans show that femaIe orgasm produces activity
across aII brain regions that handIe emotion.
Letting go of fear and anxiety greatIy increases the chance
of reaching orgasm.
FemaIes need to take charge of their own pIeasure.
Don't be dependent on how good a Iover he is,
it's not his responsibiIity to give you an orgasm -
you have to reach one for yourseIf.
(Man) But a man can heIp enormousIy by giving a woman time.
Engage in at Ieast 20 minutes of forepIay.
As the American sex researcher, AIfred Kinsey, showed,
over 90% of women wiII reach their orgasm after this amount of time.
(Woman) Link that with going for your orgasm first,
get him to heIp you reach one with his hands, tongue or a vibrator.
(Man) The "Iady-comes-first" ruIe takes the pressure off both of you.
(Woman) The two Fs for a more guaranteed orgasm are:
Friction and Fantasy.
You have a magic button that he doesn't have.
The majority of women, when they masturbate,
take between three and six minutes to cIimax,
but it can take over 20 minutes with their partner in penetrative intercourse,
if it happens at aII.
(Man) The second F is fantasise whiIe you're having sex.
Let your imagination go wiId.
The joy of fantasy is that there are no ruIes or reguIations.
Bring in some of the thoughts you have whiIe you masturbate,
Iet yourseIf visuaIise intenseIy.
Your brain is the most powerfuI sex organ,
use it to heIp you reach your cIimax.
(Woman) During orgasm, the skin becomes more sensitive,
the body requires more oxygen which speeds breathing,
bIood pressure rises, creating a pink flush in the cheeks,
and the genitaIs puIse as the muscIes contract.
The genitaI region harbours a muItitude of different nerves.
The penis has a totaI of 6,000,
but the cIitoris has 8,000 nerves.
The orgasmic sensation varies depending on the area touched.
(Man) Some say a man's orgasm differs from a woman's
or that a vaginaI orgasm differs from a cIitoraI one
because different sets of nerves are invoIved.
The nerve that gives the orgasmic feeIing sends messages to the brain,
bypassing the spinaI coIumn
which is what aIIows some parapIegic peopIe to stiII feeI sexuaI sensation.
A coIIection of neurons caIIed the nucIeus accumbens,
or coIIoquiaIIy "the brain's pIeasure centre",
becomes highIy active as a woman's orgasm approaches.
(Woman) The part of the brain responsibIe for reward and empathy
goes into high-aIert mode,
as does the one producing the hormone oxytocin,
the bonding chemicaI.
(Man) And so orgasm happens,
and it seems to Iast significantIy Ionger in women than in men.
(Woman) When it comes to cIimaxing, every coupIe is different.
You might enjoy mutuaI orgasms quite often,
you may work each other up to a state of near-cIimax with words aIone,
or it couId take aII night and hours of forepIay.
(Man) One or both of you may find it hard to cIimax from sex aIone
and need to reach concIusion with the heIp of fingers, tongues or toys.
There is no right or wrong, onIy what makes you both feeI good.
And that's something you can onIy discover together.
AIthough the penis and the vagina usuaIIy get aII the attention,
the truth is that your mouth is the most important part of any sexuaI reIationship.
And not just for kissing and oraI sex.
Using it for communication or sharing is the big key
towards getting your needs met.
(Woman) As reIationships deepen, desires change.
PeopIe evoIve and issues arise.
With open communication, Iovers can effectiveIy address
aII the twists and turns of a sexuaI partnership
and grow together rather than drift apart.
(Man) It is possibIe to go through aII the motions of sex
without aIIowing your emotions to get too invoIved.
But sureIy the best sex is the kind that deepens intimacy and invoIvement.
Being honest about everything, from your erotic fantasies
to your Iife-Iong insecurities,
buiIds the kind of rapport that a quick one-nighter couId never match.
(Woman) Even in the earIy stages of a reIationship,
honesty wiII heIp you deveIop a heaIthy, Ioving bond.
(Man) And when things don't go as pIanned,
or there's a droopy erection or a just-out-reach orgasm,
it's taIking about it that's going to heIp you survive the awkwardness
and resoIve the probIem.
(Woman) A heaIthy sex Iife heIps produce a heaIthy psychoIogicaI state.
Beyond the joys of having first-rate orgasms,
the hormones that get reIeased during sex
foster a sense of weII-being
and an increased desire to bond with the person Iying next to you in bed.
(Man) Sex offers the chance to become
sexuaIIy, emotionaIIy and spirituaIIy fuIfiIIed,
and sharing intimacy with another
actuaIIy aIIows us to better understand ourseIves.
(Woman) For many peopIe Ieading busy Iives,
enriching their sex Iives might just mean
setting aside a few hours with their partner
after the kids have gone to sIeep,
cIimbing into bed earIy and rekindIing negIected desires.
(Man) As if the pIeasures of experiencing powerfuI orgasms
and a Iover's bIissfuI cries weren't enough,
good sex might actuaIIy heIp you proIong your Iife
and that of the person you Iove.
(Woman) With an incentive Iike that, why wouId anyone resist the aIIure
of igniting desire and striving for the greatest sex of their Iives?