Hon you've put it off long enough
What?
You know what You know what
Negative Negative阴性 阴性
Come on negative快来阴性
Come on! Dear Lord please protect ourJenna求你了！上帝啊请你保护我们的珍娜
from the hell of unwanted pregnancy不要蒙受意外孕
I don't need no baby I don't want no trouble我不需要孩子 我不需要麻烦
I just want to make pies我只想做甜饼
That's all I want to do make pies
I thought you weren't sleeping with your husband no more我还以为你不再和你丈夫一起睡觉了呢
He got her drunk one night那晚他让她喝醉了
I should never drink我应该拒绝喝酒的
I do stupid things when I drink我喝醉了就干傻事
like sleep with my husband比如和我丈夫同床
Oh no!
Looks like a pink line is forming Shit
One line or two lines?
Two lines! The control line and the other line
the bad line the yes line Let me see that now
Two lines two definite lines There's no mistaking them
What's going on in there?
We have customers! Where are my waitresses?
Hold your balls straight Cal Jenna ain't feeling well
What's wrong with her?
It's none of your business you blowhard
I'm fine Cal! We'll be right out
Hurry up!
Hon you okay?
Shh I'm inventing a new pie
in my head
Tomorrow's blue plate special
I'm calling it I Don't Want
Earl's Baby Pie
I don't think we can write that on the menu board hon
Then I'll just call it Bad Baby Pie
What's in it honey?
It's a quiche of egg and Brie cheese with a smoked ham center
Sounds good baby
I ain't never going to get away from Earl now
You going to tell him?
I'm not sure
If my plan comes true and I can make my big escape from him
in a couple months maybe he never even has to know
Are you sure it's his child?
You know everything I do I ain't never cheated
Ah I'd never do that
Eh I feel sorry for you Jenna
I mean I'd do anything
to meet a man and Becky's husband is a senile fruitcake 认识一个人和贝克的丈夫是个老馅饼
Dawn! Well I'm sorry it's true 唐！哦，对不起这可是事实
But now here you are 但现在是
married to this handsome guy 同这个英俊的人结婚
Who's got very good hair 他有一头漂亮的头发
And pregnant with 并且怀着
a little girl 一个女孩
How do you know it's a girl? 你怎么知道是个女孩
We don't know it's a girl 我们不知道是女孩
But neither of us would trade places with you for one second 但我们两个都不愿意同你交换位置哪怕一秒钟的
Now would we Becky? 现在我们会吗，贝凯？
No we wouldn't Dawn No we wouldn't 不我们不会的唐，我们不会
Except just once in my life 除非我一生中只一次
I'd like to be able to make 我希望能学会做
a pie half as good 馅饼有一半
as Jenna can make a pie 和珍娜做的那么好
Yeah me too Oh come on 是的，我也是，哦得了
So what if I can make a decent pie? 那么如果我会做一个像样的馅饼？
Who cares? Look at this Jenna 谁会在乎？看这里珍娜
As you can plainly see my right boob is much higher 你们明显可以看见我右边乳房特别高
than my left boob 高于左边乳房
and Dawn here has 并且唐，这里有
pasty pasty skin 浆状皮肤
I'm stuck in a marriage to Droolin' Phil the Invalid 我被同德儒林这废人的婚姻困住了
and Dawn eats TV dinners alone 而唐却能一个人享用电视晚餐
but still we wouldn't rather be you 但我们还是不想象你一样
I do have pasty pasty skin 我真的是有浆状皮肤
Yeah I know you're here 哈，我知道你们在这里
See you tomorrow honey 明天见，亲爱的
Good luck 祝你好运
And if you do tell him you're Shh! 如果你真的告诉他你的情况！
Hey 嗨
Hiya there Earl 你好厄尔
We all just agreed that your hair is super attractive 我们一起刚达成一致你的头发超级迷人
Hooray for you 为你欢呼
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! 喔呼
I don't care if she is a pie genius 我不在乎她是否是甜饼天才
I wouldn't trade places with her 我不会同她换位置的
No me neither 我也不会
You don't look happy to see me 见了我你看来不开心
Are you happy to see me? 你不想看见我吗？
Yeah I'm happy to see you 哦，见了你我很开心
Even brought you a piece 还为你带来一个
of today's special Kick In The Pants Pie 今天特别的踢裤裆馅饼
Cinnamon spice custard 桂圆味蛋挞
You don't give me a kiss 你还没有吻我
Well give me one 来吧，吻我一个
There That's more like it 这还差不多
Where's that money 赚的钱呢
you made today? 你今天的？
Right here in my pocket 在我口袋里
Well, now, hand it over. 那好吧，交出来。
Not much here is there? 不多吧这里？
Slow day you know 生意不好你知道的
Yeah you been having more and more of those 是啊，现在这样的收入越来越多了
I'm really not sure it's worth you working there anymore 我真的吃不准你在这里干活是否还值得
I think I might rather have you be at home 我想我最好还是把你留在家
making me pies all day long 整天为我做馅饼什么的
You didn't ask me 你没有问我
how my day was 今天我这一天怎么了
How was your day? 你这一天怎么了？
Ask me like you 问我的样子
care about it 象是不在乎
How was your day Earl? 你这一天怎么样厄尔？
Well you know Johnson's on my case again 好吧，你知道我又接手琼斯的事
about the mortgages and everything 就抵押之类的麻烦事
But I don't make the bank policy and I told him that 但我不是制定银行政策的人我告诉过他了
but he doesn't listen 但他听不进
I Hate My Husband Pie 我讨厌“我丈夫馅饼”
You take bittersweet chocolate and don't sweeten it 你放满又苦又甜的巧克力但还是不甜
You make it into a pudding 你再把它做成布丁
and drown it in caramel 完全没在饴糖里
You're not listening to me 你不在听我说话
Yeah I am 没有，我在听
What I say? 我说了什么？
You were bitching about Mr.Johnson 你在抱怨约翰
What were the exact words I said? 那我具体说了那些话？
Well I mean I can't repeat them verbatim 哦我的意思我不能逐一重复你的话
You don't listen to me! 你不在听我说话！
Hurts my feelings 挫伤我的感情
Please just say you're sorry 请对我说对不起
so I can let you out this car so you can make my dinner 不然我要让你滚下这个车我要让你罚做晚饭
I'm sorry Earl for not being able 对不起厄尔我没有能
to repeat your words verbatim 逐一重复你的话
something I should be able to do 我应该能够按着做的
Whenever I need it 只要我需要
Whenever you need it 只要你需要
All right then 那就算了
You look handsome tonight Early 今晚你看上去真帅，厄尔
Thank you honey 谢谢你亲爱的
It's been a long time since you called me Early
I like it
And you look pretty tonight
Maybe a little tired is all
You're not eating your spaghetti pie Why not?
I'm thinking I want to borrow some money from you
And my answer to that of course is no
There's a big pie Bake-Off in Jonesville in a couple months
And I'd like to go
And my answer to that of course is no
Prize money is pretty good
Why do you need money?
I give you everything you need don't I?
Absolutely
You want for nothing don't you?
Yes Earl I want for nothing
I mean your pies ain't bad
But what's so important about that when you got me to take care of?
That's a good point Earl
Jenna Hunterson
Hello Mrs. Bunterson
Hunterson
Who are you?
I'm your doctor
Oh wow you brought me a pie
How nice You know what?
I've only been here a few weeks but already I am genuinely
impressed with the hospitality of this place
You're not my doctor
Lily Mueller is my doctor
This pie is for her
It's Marshmallow Mermaid her favorite
Well she's semiretired now
Just sort of happened this morning She kind of quit
We didn't have time to call anybody
But Dr. Mueller delivered me
I mean she's been my doctor forever
I really liked and trusted her
Maybe you could really like and trust me too?
I've never even seen you before
Yeah I just got hired
Long story making it short this is still
Dr. Mueller's practice I'm the junior doctor on staff
Um just moved here from Connecticut two weeks ago
Dr. Mueller had a class over the summer
and I was a student of hers and is this story boring you?
No yes
Sorry anyway
it's nice to meet you
What's your name again?
I'm Dr.Jim Pomatter
Okay
And you are? Jenna Hunterson
Jenna Hunterson It is nice to meet you
So What seems to be the problem?
Well I seem to be pregnant
Good
Good for you Congratulations
Thanks but I don't want this baby
Oh well we don't perform uh
No I'm keeping it
I'm just telling you I'm not so happy about it
like everybody else might be
So maybe you can be sensitive and not congratulate me
and make a big deal every time you see me
I'm having the baby and that's that
It's not a party though
Got it okay not a party
Uh well then why don't we um
we'll have to do a blood test
make sure you're pregnant and then we'll check
for diseases hormone levels stuff like that?
Sounds like a plan
Okay well the nurse will be right in
Um don't go anywhere
Nowhere to go
Come in
Hi Jenna have a seat
Okay I'm going to give you this pie now Dr. Pomatter
Oh thank you
Thank you very much Look at that
You know what? Just push-push all of those off onto the floor
Go ahead push them off That's fine Just
I'll get to those later
Well uncongratulations you're definitely having a baby
Un thank you
So for the next eight months if you need me I'm here
If you have any questions just give a call
We'll be doing some tests
All of which I'll tell you about before they happen
And I'm going to give you
a prescription for uh prenatal vitamins
And do you have any uh questions for me?
What kind of questions?
I don't know Concerns about your pregnancy?
Do's and don'ts?
Anything you're wondering about?
Exercise sex
I don't really do much
of either of those things so
Okay any diet concerns?
Not really I mean just eat healthy right?
Eat healthy um avoid certain cheeses certain fish
The receptionist she can give you a list of good and bad
foods for your pregnancy general do's and don'ts
Okay
And here is your prescription
I'll just sorry
And uh it was very nice to meet you Jenna
And I'll want to see you again
in about three weeks Okay
Okay
I do have one question
Shoot
How pregnant am I exactly?
Very pregnant
There's really only one degree of pregnancy so to speak
No I mean uh how far along am I?
Uh about six weeks
give or take
Yeah that was Earl getting me drunk that night all right
You're late
By six minutes I'm sorry The bus was late
Why doesn't your damn husband buy you a car already?
Cause he don't want me goin' nowhere
And you late again
You are inches away from being fired missy
Oh just try firing me you old bucket of cheese
Who you calling a bucket of cheese you heifer?
Now get to work before I fire your ass
Calm down you psychotic ape
Hey what are you doing? Close the door!
How's the doc?
Fine it was fine
New doctor a man
A man wow
Is he single? Maybe he's good for Dawn
No I think he was wearing a ring
Weird guy nervous
From Connecticut
Hey honey could you do me a favor?
What?
Old Joe just came in and sat in my station
Could you take him? I can't deal with him today
You're better with him than I am
Yeah sure I'll take him
Thanks hon you're a trooper
Oh
What? What's wrong?
You okay? You going to be sick?
I'm okay
Just nauseous for a second
Hurry up let's get to work!
Hi Joe
How you doing today my friend?
What can I get you?
This is my pie diner
I own it
I know you do Joe
And I think it's warm in here I know I'm warm
I'll tell Cal hon
They keep all my businesses too warm on the inside
My gas station my supermarket my Laundromat
But this is my favorite business
Joe's Pie Shop
I'm Joe
And I will not tolerate it being
too damn warm in here
I hear you Joe
Turn the air on
Yes sirree bub
Okay
I want two glasses of water no ice
Two glasses no problem
Two glasses Right
No ice
And I want the Bad Baby Quiche Pie with tomato on the side
on its own plate
No potatoes with that?
Did I say anything about potatoes?
Where'd you get potatoes from?
No potatoes tomato
On its own plate
Salt and pepper
That everything?
No
I want orange juice
But don't bring that first
Bring the water first
Bring the orange juice with the meal
Okay listen to my horoscope before you skedaddle away
Aquarius
Smooth sailing today as Mars enters your inner circle
Whatever the hell that means
The ones you love will listen carefully to you today
just make sure you're careful with what you say
Hmm I don't have ones I love
Want to hear yours?
Uh I'm Aquarius too hon
I don't have ones I love either
Just ones I live with
Excuse me I feel like
I'm going to be sick
You okay sweetie?
Yeah I'm okay
Good Listen um I have a five-minute blind date tonight
with an insurance salesman named Pete
Five foot 1 0 37 all his hair nice picture
loves fishing Five-minute date?
Can't the guy pay for the whole thing?
Yeah see um I have this idea
I'm meeting men through personal ads
but I just give them five minutes
Whether or not we like each other
we just have five minutes together Huh
That way you know if the guy makes me sick
I don't waste a whole evening Anyway I'm supposed
to meet this guy at 00 at Banshee's
I was wondering if you would do a full makeup for me
here in the bathroom before I leave?
A full makeup for five minutes?
Well yeah it's very important to make a good first impression
I mean wh-what if he's Prince Charming?
There is no such thing
Whatever
Will you do that for me?
Yeah of course
Oh would you also make me
your Falling In Love Chocolate Mousse Pie?
That is my favorite pie
What the heck I'll do it during my break okay?
You are the queen
of kindness and goodness
You with child?
Shh quiet
I've seen that look on a woman's face before
Name was Annette
I made sweet love to her all through the summer
of 1948
She got that sick look
on her face like you had all through the fall
I almost married her right up
She lost the baby though
Close call
When you due?
Shh Joe
Don't want Cal to hear You can't lose my job
I'm trying to save money so I can leave my husband
Why what's wrong with him?
Hey there's no salt and pepper
on the table I asked for salt and pepper
and no ice in my juice glass
Can't you get nothing I say right? I'll go get
your salt and pepper and juice with no ice
But you got to promise me
you'll keep your mouth shut about this baby
What baby?
Good man
Honey Earl's on the phone
Tell him I'm busy You don't talk to him
he might come over here and cause a scene again
Yeah okay
Can I ask you a question?
Is it my imagination
or is my left one drooping down even more today?
I'm starting to feel like something Picasso would have made
Do me a favor hon get Old Joe some O.J.
no ice or he'll bite your head off
And some salt and pepper You got it
Hello Earl
Good good
No I-I am glad you called
You picking me up tonight?
No that's fine I'll ask Becky to give me a ride
Yes I know you work hard
Earl I've got to get back
We're busy here today
Okay
Bye
I love you too
Mm
Falling In Love Pie
Oh pretty outfit Dawn
Thank you
It's a little tight in the butt I fear
Oh no worries Men like a little meat back there don't they Jenna?
I have no idea what men like
Speaking of more meat
does Earl have any clue at all that you're pregnant?
No he don't notice and I'm never going to tell him
I'm just going to run away
Wow
How much money you got saved?
Not much $1 ,200
and I can save another couple hundred
before theJonesville Bake-Off
How much is that prize money?
$25,000 hon
Wow What pie you going to bake?
I'm not sure
I was thinking I'd make one of my real unusual ones
like my mama used to make
One where you wouldn't think the ingredients
would all go together but they do
Huh
Dawn you're beautiful
Your skin looks like a normal person's
Thank you
I know what you should do
with that prize money Jenna
You should open your own pie shop
Oh yeah
You should have your own little pie shop somewhere
Somewhere where they could really use a little pie shop
like Europe or New Jersey
Wow my own pie shop
Jenna's Pie Palace
Jenna's Pastry Heaven
Okay back to reality for a minute
Hey can you give me a ride home Becky?
Earl don't want to pick me up tonight
No take the bus
I can't drive you I've got somewhere to go
Oh where you going?
I can't tell you that
What? What?
Yet I can't tell you
that yet
Why not?
Got to go!
You have fun on your five-minute date
Use a five-minute condom
Hey wait a minute Bye
Hey!
Well whatever it is I hope it's good
Go look at yourself hon
This guy's not going to know what hit him
Go on
Oh!
Look what you did
You made me almost pretty
What do you mean almost pretty?
You're lovely
Look at yourself
Oh
Hey sweetie? Hmm?
You think you can drop me off at the bus stop on your way to Banshee's?
Yeah
Baby Screaming Its Head Off
in the Middle of the Night and Ruining My Life Pie
New York-style cheesecake brandy brushed
with pecans and nutmeg
Hello
Jenna?
What?
Hi Dr. Pomatter
Yeah
What are you doing here?
Oh, my car wouldn't start this morning
God knows why.
Got to take the bus home.
Where do you live?
Uh, Stanton Grove.
Oh, it's nice over there.
Yeah, yeah, it's nice.
If you like trees, which, you know, who doesn't like trees?
It's a long walk.
Do you mind if I sit down?
Not at all.
Thanks.
So you're a waitress.
I'm a waitress.
Where do you work?
Uh, a little diner off Highway 27.
Joe's Pie Diner.
Oh, wow.
Sounds like a veritable factory of pie.
I've never been there. Is it... is it... is it good?
Yes, it's very good.
We make all the pies there fresh.
Breakfast pies, dinner pies, 27 different varieties of pie.
And a new one that I create every day.
I was just inventing a new one in my head when you walked up.
Did you make that marshmallow pie that you brought me?
Yes, I did. ''Marshmallow Mermaid Pie.''
I invented it when I was nine years old,
in my mermaid phase.
That was probably the best pie I've ever tasted in my life.
That pie, it was...
that pie was biblically good, that's how good it was.
That pie could win pie contests
and ribbons and things. It was...
Thank you.
Yeah.
You know, there was a pie diner right near where I grew up.
And I used to go there every day after school.
I had a mad crush on this waitress named Beatrice.
She looked tragically cute
in her uniform,
and years later, I was doing my residency and she came in
with an emergency ovarian cyst.
I actually treated her.
Wow.
That must have been something for you.
Well, she was at least 50 years old by then.
Life does funny kind of things sometimes.
Yes, it does.
You want to hear something else kind of funny?
When I saw you sitting here alone in your uniform,
I... I had a flashback.
You made me think of her.
You kind of remind me of her
when she was younger.
Wow. What a thing to say.
Yeah, sorry, it was a compliment.
No, I know.
That's why it made me uncomfortable.
You're blushing.
Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
No, it was a nice thing to hear. I...
Nobody ever notices me in that way.
Well, somebody noticed you that way-
otherwise you wouldn't be in the condition you're in.
- Oh, him? - Yeah.
He don't count. He's just my husband.
I'm kidding. Of course he counts. He's my husband.
Oh!
Oh, here's the bus.
Call me whenever you need me,Jenna.
I'm here for all your questions and concerns.
Please?
Come on, honey.
I-I feel sick in my stomach.
You know, it's been over a month.
I feel about as sexy as a tree stump.
You ain't never been sexier.
Am I imagining it, or are your boobies getting bigger?
Like they grew a size practically overnight.
That's crazy, Earl.
I got to be with you or I'm going to die.
Come on, baby, kiss me back.
Move up, baby. Come on, honey.
Say something sexy to me.
What do you want me to say?
That was... That was great.
That was great, baby. Mmm...
Wasn't it?
Yes, absolutely wonderful.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no. I don't want you as my waitress.
I want her, Dawn.
That lady right there.
Oh, well, I'm sorry, honey,
but you're sitting in my station.
All the tables in Dawn's station are taken.
No, but I don't want you. I want her.
Well, if you want to eat in this diner,
-you got to sit here, and I've got to wait on you. - She a good friend of yours?
What can you tell me about her? What's she...
- What are her likes and dislikes? What does she look for in a man? - Uh, honey,
I'm just here to bring you pie or coffee or something like that.
I don't dispense romantic advice.
What if I paid you?
Excuse me, I'm going to go
talk to Dawn for a minute, see if she won't
- come deal with you herself. - Oh, that'd be wonderful.
- You've got to help me. - What is going on?
That guy, his name is Ogie,
short for Oklahoma.
I was supposed to meet someone named Pete last night.
Instead, he sent Ogie.
It was the worst five minutes in my life.
I made the mistake of telling him I work here.
How could a five-minute date be that bad?
He took me through the entire medical
and psychiatric history of his family.
Oh, no.
And he told me he wants to marry me.
- Oh, no! - Marry me!
And he's not giving up, not ever giving up, that's what he said.
First guy that pays any attention to me in years,
and he turns out to be the mad stalking elf.
I'm telling you,Jenna, your makeup job was too good,
and your ''Magic Love Pie...''?
I'm sorry.
- What am I supposed to do? - You go over there
and you tell him you're not interested.
- I told him that last night. - Tell him better.
- Come with me. - I can't. I've got to go throw up.
Fine, I'll just go over there myself.
I'm a very persistent man, Dawn.
I know what I want. I know what makes me happy.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm a tax auditor.
I make $31 ,000 a year plus bonuses.
I drive a very nice compact car.
I eat at all the best restaurants
within a 50-mile radius.
I love my mother.
What else do you need to know about me?
- How to make you go away. - You can't.
You can't make me go away.
'Cause I don't take no for an answer.
I'll just keep coming back and coming back
till finally your resistance is weakened.
'Cause we were meant to be together, Dawn.
You don't know me!
Oh, yes, I do.
You're Dawn.
And you inspire poetry in me.
Here's one I'm making up right here on the spot.
''Dawn, can I bring you joy
''like you brung me sunshine?
Can I hold you a minute and it turns into forever?''
- Do you like that one? - No!
Okay, how about a spontaneous tidbit that rhymes?
''All my life I've met harlots,
''but you are a queen...
da, da, da, da, da, da, da... something between...''
I... I got to work on that one.
Leave me alone.
I can't leave you alone...
'cause I'm in love with you, Dawn.
And you're going to be my wife.
Listen to me.
You make me sick!
I think you're nothing but a crazy little freak,
and I wish you would go away and die!
I... I...
Oh, I'm sorry, hon.
Jenna.
You're always on the phone.
Sorry, this is important.
Yeah, what's so important?
Can I please have some privacy?
Hi, uh, is Dr. Pomatter there?
This is, um,Jenna Hunterson. I'm his patient.
Hi, Dr. Pomatter.
It's Jenna Hunterson.
Um, listen, I'm sure it's nothing,
but you said to call if I had any concerns.
And this morning, um, I'm bleeding a little bit.
No, no, it's very, very light, like spotting.
Come in to see you?
Okay, uh... tomorrow morning?
you in there 7 o'clock?
Oh, okay, then.
Glad you're open so early so I won't be late for work.
Thanks.
See you then.
who you will see at 7 0'clock tomorrow?
Not telling you, 'cause you don't tell me your secrets neither.
Oh, so this is a secret.
No, I'm just going to see the doctor.
There, that's my big secret. What's yours?
Can't say. Not yet.
- Why the hell not? - Well...
- Hey! - Hey!
Don't you have customers?
How come you can't never say one nice thing ever
like, ''How are you,Jenna?''
or ''Nice to see you today,Jenna''
or ''Great apple pie today,Jenna''?
All you ever say is stuff like, ''Don't you have customers?
- Get out of the kitchen. Get back to work.'' - Don't you have customers?
Get out of the kitchen. Get back to work.
Hello,Jenna.
Hello.
Here. I brought you some ''Peachy Keen'' tarts.
Wow, thanks.
You're welcome.
- Where's everybody else? - Uh, I came in a little early
to see you. Nobody else is here.
Oh.
That's why I'm opening the door for you.
- I see. - So come in.
Now, you say the bleeding was very mild?
Yeah.
And has it stopped?
Yeah, I only saw it the one time.
Okay, good.
Well, you can get dressed now
and, uh, meet me in my office when you're ready.
You, you're not going to examine me?
No, no need. No.
Just get dressed and we'll talk.
Okay.
Hi.
Hi. Come on in. Sit down.
Oh, my God.
Mm.
Well, am I okay? I mean, is something wrong with me?
No.
Mm!
No, there's nothing wrong with you.
Uh, light spotting is a perfectly normal symptom
in early pregnancy.
Were you concerned about a miscarriage?
Not really.
Is that everything you have to say?
Um...
yes.
- No. - Well, what?
I...
Nothing.
Um, you can go now. Uh... I'll see you
at your next regularly scheduled appointment, and again, don't
- hesitate to call... - To call you if I have any questions or concerns.
Exactly.
Why'd you have me come all the way in here
if spotting's a perfectly normal symptom
in early pregnancy?
I mean, I had to get up early, take a bus, walk five blocks,
just to hear that spotting is a perfectly normal symptom?
I have no response to that.
And what time does this office normally open doctor?8:30?
9:00.
9:00?
So-So you came in here two hours early just to tell me
that spotting is a perfectly normal symptom?
Well, it would seem that way, yes.
Good-bye, Dr. Pomatter.
Good-bye,Jenna.
I think you're strange.
I'm not sure I want you to be my doctor anymore.
You make me uncomfortable.
I'm sorry,Jenna. I'm really sorry.
Whatever it is I do, I will not do it anymore.
You should not be uncomfortable at this time.
- You're doing it again. - How? What did I...?
I don't know, you know, that nice-guy-talky thing you do.
You just... Oh, forget it.
Damn! My purse!
You forgot your pur...
Hey!
Don't walk away from me.
Well, what do you want?
I want to see you again.
I want to talk to you somewhere outside of here.
Maybe we could have a coffee or something.
I can't have coffee. It's on the bad food list you gave me.
- What kind of doctor are you? - Well, you don't have to have coffee.
You could have water or fruit juice.
That's a bad idea.
I'm married. You're married.
I'm pregnant.
- You're my doctor. - Uh...
You're right, it's crazy. It's unethical
on my part. I...
Wait!
No kissing in the street.
I have a very jealous husband.
He'd kill you
if he ever saw us. He don't like when other men
- even look at me. - Is he large?
He's large enough, and he drives
- right past here on the way to work. - Well, maybe we
shouldn't be standing in the street then.
I've got to go make pies.
It'll take me time to walk the five blocks,
wait for the bus. I don't want to be late.
- Cal gets mad when I'm late. - Let me drive you.
No. Yes.
Please.
Well, thank you for the tarts.
They were unbelievably delicious.
''Delicious'' is not even
a good enough word for what they are. They...
I mean, what you do with food is...
unearthly. It's sensual.
Does anybody else appreciate...?
You're welcome.
So, um...
Do we...? I mean, what do we...?
- Dr. Pomatter, I'll call you - Can I...
if I have any questions or concerns.
''Earl Murders Me 'Cause I'm Having an Affair Pie. ''
You smash blackberries and raspberries
into a chocolate crust.
''I Can't Have No Affair Because It's Wrong
And I Don't Want Earl To Kill Me Pie. ''
Vanilla custard with banana.
Hold the banana.
Don't you have no home?
Excuse me. What?
I'm wondering if you have to sleep outside my diner,
'cause maybe you don't have no home.
I have a home.
Right,
and a bad husband, I remember.
You got lipstick all over your face.
What?
Your lipstick is all smudged,
like someone gave you a good one.
I'm going inside now.
Once you're done wiping away all your indiscretions,
I'll be sitting in my booth
wanting fresh-squeezed orange juice, no ice,
and a ''Spanish Dancer Pie''
with potato crust.
Here you go.
''Dear Elizabeth...'' Do you know this column?
It's for the lonely hearts.
''Dear Elizabeth.
''My husband fell in love with another woman
''from his workplace.
''I want to kill myself.
''I want to write
''the perfect suicide note
''that would let him know just how much pain he has caused me.
''I'm wondering if you can dispense any advice
''on composing a suicide note
''that would harm my snake of a husband
''and his slut girlfriend the most.
Yours truly- Betrayed in Biloxi.''
Elizabeth just gives her some nonsense
about not killing herself.
I love living vicariously
through the pain and suffering of others.
I don't believe for one second you're as mean as you play.
You tip me better than anyone.
Oh, what do you know?
Bring me more water for this empty glass.
Mm-hmm.
No!
No. No.
Mommy!
What did I say?
No.
All right, now stop it, sugar, please?
- Okay, you can have chocolate milk, okay? -
I'm sorry. You can have as much chocolate milk as you want.
Okay, all right, you little...
Okay.
Jenna, come on.
Listen, you can have chocolate milk, okay?
Here, darling, we bought you something,
a present.
That's sweet. You shouldn't have.
Open it.
Okay.
Oh, it's a book.
What a Mama You're Going to Be.
Oh, look at that.
We know you didn't initially have a strong happiness
about this whole baby thing,
but she is coming anyway.
We don't know it's a she.
We figured we'd give you something
that every woman is supposed to read.
And every woman is supposed to read something like that...
we think.
Well, thanks.
- You best read and absorb it. - Hey, you know,
I was thinking. Have you ever heard about those people
who sell their babies for lots of money
through, like, lawyers and stuff?
Jenna, you can't sell your baby. That's a horrible thought.
I was just thinking,
if I did, I might make enough money
to finally get away from Earl.
I mean, at this point, the baby is the only real financial asset
I have if I don't win that pie contest.
I am going to pretend that you are not saying this.
Not everybody wants to be a mama, Dawn.
That don't make me a bad person.
You're not getting any more affectionate
towards that little baby?
Not at all?
I respect this baby's right to thrive.
I do nothing harmful to it.
I don't drink, I watch my diet, but no.
I feel nothing like affection.
Maybe that man smothered all the affection out of me.
I don't know.
Well, I got to get back to work.
Yeah, uh, breakfast crowd's heating up.
Yeah.
Hey, thanks for the book.
All right.
Jenna, there's all these cool things to do in here.
Um, there's a little scrapbook section in the back,
where you can put pictures of your pregnant belly as it develops.
Oh, and there's a place where you can write your first letter to your baby.
- Oh. - Right here.
Right in the middle.
Okay, Dawn, thanks.
First Letter To My Baby.
First letter.
Where's my water?
Dear baby...
Dear baby,
if I was writing you a letter,
it would probably sound something like an apology.
I know everyone deserves a mama
who'd want a nice baby such as yourself-
who was also a good wife, a fine member of society.
And I can't rightly say that I'm any of that,
and I'm not sure the world is such a fine place
to be bringing you.
Many of the people I've met are not worth meeting.
Many of the things that happen are not worth living through.
And you shouldn't take it personal, baby,
if I don't seem like all the other mamas-to-be,
jumping all over themselves with joy.
I frankly don't know what I got to give you, baby.
What if I leave Earl and don't win that contest next week
and don't have no money?
What the hell am I going to do with you then?
You sure is getting fat, baby.
All my life, baby,
the only thing I ever want to do is run away.
What kind of mama is that?
I wish I could feel other things, baby.
Like excitement that you're with me now
or faith that I'll be a good mama,
even if my life ain't such a good place
and the world as I see it ain't so pretty
like they'd have you believe in this book.
Anyway, I'm writing this letter to you.
It sounds more like a letter to me, don't it?
Love, Mama.
Where you going,Jenna?
Nowhere, Earl.
I-I mean, to work.
Then why you got a suitcase?
Earl!
- Shut up and get in the car. -
Pie-baking contest, huh?
Yeah, I was just going to go up there and win and surprise you.
No, you're lying.
You ain't never gone to a contest before in your life.
You're lying to me.
Earl, don't...
Why you lying to me?
I'm pregnant!
When was you going to tell me?
After I won the pie contest.
Well, you ain't going to no pie contest.
You know what? You ain't going nowhere.
Here's the thing, wife-
What if you decide to love the baby more than you love me?
Women do it all the time.
They have a baby and then it's to hell with the man.
You're jealous of the baby?
No, I don't get jealous.
It's below me.
I'm just talking it out.
I'm talking my feelings out.
And I know how women get.
And I'm just not sure I want that happening.
I'd tell you to get rid of it,
but I want you in the same place
as me in the hereafter, if you know what I mean.
Maybe if you promise me
that you wouldn't love the baby more than you love me
You know?
That you'd make a real effort to love me more
If I need something
you'd keep taking care of it
You'd hold on to me more
I come first- not any baby
Well can you make Early that promise?
Absolutely
Then say ''I promise''
I promise
Say ''I promise I will not love the baby
more than I love you Early''
I promise I will not love the baby
more than I love you Early
How about that?
We're going to have ourselves a baby
A baby boy
I bet it happened that night I got you all drunk
Where you going?
Gotta throw up
Mrs. Hunterson the doctor will see you now
Hi there I'm Nurse Norma
I'll be helping Dr. Pomatter
with your ultrasound examination today
You have any questions?
This is where we look at the baby's heartbeat?
Yes among other things
You nervous?
No Do I seem nervous?
Yes you do
That's normal
Everybody's nervous before their first ultrasound
I'm not nervous though
Okay you're not nervous
Come in I'm dressed
Hello Doctor
Hello Mrs. Hunterson
How have you been feeling?
Fine
No problems?
Nope
You had no questions or concerns this past month
No I certainly did not
Okay well lie back
Uh Norma would you get the lights for me?
All right this isn't going to hurt at all
It's just going to be a little cold
Here we go
All right
Okay just a little pressure
Now what are we looking at?
Ah there we are
We are definitely having a baby
You want to see?
I guess
Just look at the screen
There
Everything looks great
You see that little that flickering
right there in the middle of the screen?
Yeah
Right there
That's the heartbeat
- Congratulations Mrs. Hunterson. - Glory be Hallelujah.
Mrs. Hunterson doesn't really like to be congratulated
Oh sorry
Don't really look like much at this point
Certainly don't look like no baby yet
Well
Ah thank you Norma That's all we need you for
All done here
Well there you have it
Yeah
So I guess we are officially forgetting about that nonsense
that happened last month?
Yes we officially are
I want to apologize for it
I almost called you just to apologize
I mean I was so stressed out at the time
taking on all those new patients
I hadn't been sleeping well
My judgment was not what it normally is
I want you to know that'll never happen again
From now on our relationship
will be strictly a medical and professional one
Jenna no
Not with the door open
Dear baby
P.S. I'd want to be able to teach a baby such as yourself
the difference between good and bad, right and wrong
but it seems I'm not fit to teach nobody nothing
Dr. Pomatter you still in there?
You got a phone call
I'll be right out Norma
Mrs. Hunterson needs to be weighed Would you take care of that?
And you can get dressed I'll see you in my office in a few minutes
Don't do that again
Okay what? Okay I won't
Kiss you you mean?
No not that I didn't mean that
I mean don't go away for a full month and not call
No questions or concerns
Don't do that
This is craziness Dr. Pomatter
Please call me Jim
No I won't
Okay don't Just Dr. Pomatter's fine
Dr. Pomatter this is so
I don't want to have another conversation
about how crazy this is
or how sorry I am or how bad
my judgment is or how I'll never touch you again
Not only would I be lying but every time I start saying
those things all that happens is you attack me
- You're right - Have you been taking your
- prenatal vitamins every day? - Faithfully
Any bad morning sickness?
- Not too bad no - No more spotting?
- No more spotting - Good I'm going to want to see
you again on Friday for another appointment
Do you have time in the afternoon?
Do you get a lunch break?
Yeah but I'll have to ask Becky to drive me
Ask Becky to drive you Noon
Tell the nurse at the desk on your way out that you want to be fit in
I have to go to St. Mary's now and deliver a baby
Because that's what I do
Okay
Are we on the same page now?
We're on the same page
Good then
I wish it were Friday
Dear baby
At first it was really just about the sex
Jenna the doctor is ready for you now
Hi there
Oh Dr. Mueller
how are you?
I thought you retired
Semiretired
I'm just out of retirement for the day my dear
Dr. Pomatter and his wife had to fly back east
for a funeral this morning
Oh he flew back east with his wife?
How you feeling? You doing okay these days?
I'm fine Just fine You know knocked up and everything
Yes I heard
How's it working out with Dr. Pomatter?
Oh he's a great doctor
Is he coming back soon?
I don't really know
I think so
Today we're going to do some blood work
It's standard stuff
Just to see how the baby's developing
I don't care Do I have to do it?
Yeah you have to do it
You may be a little weak afterwards
so you should call your husband
or somebody to come pick you up
Yeah I'll call him
Is that pumpkin pie for me?
Kind of
It's just something I invented
Naughty Pumpkin Pie
Hey
you ever going to tell us your secret girl?
Yes I am when I'm ready
I've got a secret too
You Dawn?
Yes I have a boyfriend now
No!
Yes
Well who is he?
Tell us everything honey
You're never going to believe it but you know
that guy came to the diner that day wouldn't leave?
Name was Ogie
Ogie the stalking elf?
Yeah I remember that guy
What about him?
Well it-it's him.
Well that is wonderful Dawn!
Isn't it Jenna?
Yeah that's wonderful
How'd that happen?
Well you know he was true to his word
He didn't never give up
His cousin Pete gave him my number
He called me like 30 times in one day
I thought I might kill him
But he got to me
He did?
Yeah
Well he's so passionate
He writes me these spontaneous poems
Spontaneous poems
Yes they are poems that just occur to him right on the spot
Last night he said to me
''Dawn your face is a brilliant moon in my empty room''
Your love is like a beating drum
And yeah I know what you're thinking that he's not
so pretty but
he grows on you
And anyway he's it 'cause nobody else wants me
Well honey you probably shouldn't be with someone
just 'cause nobody else wants you
Yeah well you are
And you wouldn't know it
to look at him but he is a sexual dynamo
No you wouldn't know it
Well Dawn
I sure hope it's making you happy
You don't mean that
Yes I do
Nope
I know what you're thinking 'cause you called him an elf
Only 'cause you initially called him an elf
- You're jealous - No!
You are
Because you have the most mean controlling husband
in the world and you are stuck there!
But I have found someone who loves me to death!
Well let's hope not to death
And I am happy!
Good
When the fruit pies go in would you put this one in with that one?
I'm going to go and clean up now and set up my station
We'll see you out there!
Don't say nothing
I wasn't gonna
I'm not in no position to judge nobody
Neither are you
I hope I didn't hurt her feelings too bad
She'll be fine
- Hey is Cal inside yet? - Yeah I saw him
Think it's time for me to tell him about the baby
You got the oven under control?
- I do - Wish me luck
Wishing you luck honey
Well
What?
It seems I'm almost five months pregnant
Yeah so?
So I just thought I should tell you
I already knew
You did?
Yeah I thought everybody knew.
Oh who told you?
Nobody told me Nobody needs to tell me.
I mean look at you
What'd you think?
I thought you went and got fat?
Truth be told as long as you can carry a tray
and fill a pie tin
I don't care if you give birth while doing it
Well I'm relieved
I'm not such a bad guy maybe
You're not such a bad guy, maybe
Well get out there and get to work Jenna
Come on We ain't got all day
I'll get to work.
How you doing today Joe?
Same bastard as yesterday Jenna
How are you?
Same train wreck
And how's the baby doing so far?
So far so good no problems no birth defects
no diseases whatever
Good good
How's the bad husband?
Just awful
And the lipstick smudger?
The lipstick smudger?
The dog on the side
The affair
Joe I'm not having no affair
Okay you're not having no affair
Want to hear your horoscope before I give you my order?
No
Too bad here it is
Aquarius
If indeed you're having an affair
it might be a good time to step back
look at your life
and reassess things a bit
It don't say that in there
Yes it does
It says Even if you have a miserable snake husband
you probably shouldn't be having no affair
'cause it's beneath you
and could make you seem like a common hussy
Not to mention the pain
you could cause other people
You're just making that up
This afternoon I want the Singing Tuna Fish Casserole
no pickle on the plate
Well-done Frenchie fries
with melted Swiss cheese and gravy on their own plate
and Jenna's Special Strawberry
Chocolate Oasis Pie You got that?
I got that
Give me a smile Jenna
Nobody makes strawberry chocolate pie the way you do
Wednesday's my favorite day of the week
'cause I get to have a slice of it
I think about it as I'm waking up
Could solve all the problems with the world that pie
You're making too much of it
It's just a pie
Just a pie?
It's downright expert
A thing of beauty
How each flavor opens itself one by one
like a chapter in a book
First the flavor of an exotic spice hits you
just a hint of it
And then you're flooded with chocolate dark and bittersweet
like an old love affair
And finally strawberry
the way strawberry was always supposed to taste
but never knew how
In fact
I tell you what
Forget all the other stuff I ordered
Just bring me the damn pie
That's all I want
I don't care if it's not
a well-balanced meal
Just bring me the pie
Old Joe'll maybe not have much longer to live, you know?
Then I better bring you the pie right away
Yes'm, you better
I love you!
I love your breast I love your breast
I love this breast! I like this breast too!
there's my order Cal
and I'm going to need a slice of Oasis
Gonna go throw up now
Jenna
No Cal!
-Jenna! - Hey!
I didn't plan it Jenna
It just happened
He's got such nice, strong hands
Your poor husband
My poor husband wears a diaper
curses constantly and sleeps in a separate room
So why don't you just divorce him then?
I can't just leave a sick crazy old man
What kind of person would do that?
I don't know What kind of person has an affair with Cal
who's married to Ethel who we see all the time?
He says she's awful
Maybe anyone you stay married to
for 1 5 years starts to seem awful
But we know Ethel She's not awful
She tells Cal not to yell at us
Hey you're supposed to be my friend, not Ethel's
Having an affair is a terrible thing to do
It destroys people's lives and I don't want you messed up with all that
Jenna there's this cute guy here
to see you
He says he's your doctor
That's perfect Just perfect
What are you doing here?
- You can't just come here - I had an hour to kill
I wanted to see you
Did you make this pie? It's bliss Of course you made it
I got to get back to work
- When can I see you again? - Dr. Pomatter
I've been thinking
I think we need to end this
- No - Yes
Why?
Because I feel like a bad person
- and I can't live with that -Jenna
No, don't say anything
Don't get all nervous and sweet
Don't talk me out of it
Just please finish your pie and go Please
I'm sorry
Last piece
Sold out even faster than usual today
Good on us
Thanks
Cal
Yeah?
Are you happy?
I mean would you call yourself a happy man?
Well if you're asking me a serious question I'll tell you
I'm happy enough
I don't expect much give much I don't get much
I generally enjoy whatever comes up
That's my truth summed up for your feminine judgment
I'm happy enough
Why do you ask?
No reason
Good evening
I'm just waiting on Dawn
Taking her to Stanton for a steak dinner
Gonna be asking her to marry me
Yeah
There you are
Dawn if I had a penny for everything I loved about you
I would have many pennies
He's-He's making me a poem right here
Penny for your teeth
penny for your nose, penny for your eyes penny
for your hair your navel penny for your odor
A dollar for your heart
Ogie thank you
That sure is sweet
You two have a good time you hear?
Oh we will
Bye
Where we going?
Waiting for Earl?
Yeah
Hey I'm real sorry for what I said before
Listen I love you no matter what you do
Okay
I forgive you
Good
'Cause this is my little adventure
Your little adventure?
Yeah
I'm having me a little adventure
after many years of lots of nothing
You love him?
Cal?
I don't know
But I love it
I love having someone to look pretty for
I love waking up and having something to look forward to
Something fun and sneaky and sexy
He love you?
He kind of likes me
He kind of hates me
It's fun
It doesn't sound very fun
He makes me forget
about my invalid husband, my loneliness
the dreadful misplacement of my bosoms
Becky, I don't know how to tell you this
but your bosoms are fine
There ain't nothing wrong with them
It's all in your head
What are you talking about? Are you blind?
This one's way up here in Maine
this one's dangling down here in Florida
All right well I'll see you tomorrow, honey
No, you won't Tomorrow's Thursday my day off
Then I'll see you Friday?
Yeah
All right bye
Bye
Hey Porky
Hey
Why don't you treat me like a man?
I don't feel like it
Well what makes you think you have that option hmm?
Earl
Stop
Come on Don't tell me to stop
come on
I feed you
I pay for this house
I put clothes on your back
Come on just do what I tell you
I won't get too mad
Earl that hurts come on
I love you baby
I don't care if you're fat
You're my sweet thing
Pregnant, Miserable Self-Pitying Loser Pie
Lumpy oatmeal with fruitcake mashed in
flambe of course
What are you doing here?
I took the whole day off
I don't know
I wanted to see you
You look awful
Thanks
I mean you look sad
You look really sad
It's taken you a long time to notice this
but, uh... I'm not a happy woman, Dr. Pomatter.
And I don't want you to save me.
I don't want to save you.
Don't want to be saved.
Can I come in?
No.
Yeah.
So, what now?
I don't know.
I thought maybe you could teach me how to make a pie.
Seriously?
Seriously.
I could do that, sure.
Come here.
Dear baby.
I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you
for 20 minutes straight, and that's all they do.
They don't pull away.
They don't look at your face.
They don't try to kiss you.
All they do is wrap you up in their arms
and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.
I got it.
- And now the berries. - Berries.
Okay, I'm finished.
I can't let the chocolate burn.
I love watching you.
Once the chocolate's all in, you'll pour the berries on top.
I'll pour the berries on top.
Mama used to call this ''The Lonely Chicago Pie.''
She made hundreds of different kinds of pie.
They all have real strange names, like ''Car Radio Pie''
or ''Jenna's First Kiss Pie.''
Now the berries-you do it.
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
You know, Mama would keep me in the kitchen with her,
and teach me everything she knew about baking.
She'd sing to me so sweetly.
Baby, don't you cry, gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Baby, don't be blue, gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby, don't you cry, gonna make a pie
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart.
You are so beautiful.
No, I'm not.
You are.
I'm fat.
You're pregnant.
You've got a little baby growing inside you.
There is nothing more beautiful.
It's an alien and a parasite.
It makes me tired and weak.
It complicates my whole life.
I resent it.
I have no idea how to take care of it.
I'm the anti-mother.
I don't want to talk about that no more.
I want to know what the hell you're doing here.
I'm learning how to make ''Lonely Chicago Pie.''
No, I mean what you're doing here, living in this town.
My wife.
She just finished med school and we came here for her residency.
Are you happy with her?
No, don't answer that.
I'm happy right now.
Being here with you.
That's a good answer.
You make me feel calm.
You make me feel peaceful.
I don't feel that much.
I tend to be neurotic.
And you're so beautiful.
Keep going.
And so sexy.
More, please.
And I could find the whole meaning of life
in those sad eyes.
Wow.
Dear baby.
Somewhere in the space between the pie baking
and Earl eating it later that night,
began the most intimate conversation of my life.
About my mama, about how much she loved me,
how sad she'd be to see my life turned out like this.
About Earl and how he changed after we married,
became someone I feared.
About how lonely it is to be a woman so poor and so afraid.
And then I was addicted, baby.
I was addicted to saying things
and having them matter to someone.
Mm.
I've never had a real best friend before, except for my mama.
You feel like a best friend.
I have something for you.
A present.
A present for me?
Yes, for you.
I hope this is not some damn baby thing.
No. This is for you.
- - Mm-hmm...
Excuse me.
Hello.
Okay.
Yes. No, Mrs. Hesdra,
I think that'll be fine. No,just keep taking
the painkillers I gave you a-and stay on the antibiotics.
Oh, my God.
No, no, that's fine.
No,just...
Right. If you have any more problems,
just call me in two days.
Okay. You're welcome.
Take care.
Do you like it?
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I had it made for you.
It must have cost a fortune.
No, not really.
You shouldn't have done this.
I can't buy you nothing back.
I don't want you to buy me anything.
Why'd you give this to me, Dr. Pomatter?
You know why.
No, I don't.
Because I am falling
head over heels...
We're gathered here today
to celebrate the love between Ogie Anhorn
and Dawn Williams... to join them together
in holy matrimony for the rest of their natural lives.
Can I say something?
Sure.
Spontaneous wedding poetry, right now.
The title is ''Yes.''
Dawn, every time I look at you, I think yes,
yes, we're driven by true love.
Yes, I'm more than just he who audits.
Yes, I'm poetry and I'm sex, and I'm living a dream.
I am, from now on,
whoever you need me to be.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, Ogie.
This reminds me of my third wedding.
Terry Lynn Lemon.
She had big ones.
Joe, that's not a very respectful thing to say.
I'm just pointing out her good qualities.
She was nasty.
I'm going to invent
a special pie for you called ''Old Joe's Horny Past Pie.''
Have to wait a bit, I'm afraid.
- I'm going in the hospital next week. - Oh.
Liver stuff.
Got to have a piece of it removed.
Maybe I'll even die.
Don't be stupid. You won't die.
If I'd ever met a girl like you,Jenna,
my whole life could have been different.
You don't even know what you are deep inside.
You're not just some little waitress.
You understand what I'm saying?
Not at all, no.
I'm saying, my whole life I spent lost.
If a sign said ''go this way,'' I'd go the other way.
Time after time after time.
I turned the wrong corner, made the wrong choice,
went the wrong way, like a chicken without a head.
You understand?
You was a chicken without a head?
Pie lady, listen to me.
This life will kill you.
I'm saying...
make the right choice.
Start fresh.
It's never too late.
Start fresh.
I ain't got no money,Joe.
Who the hell does anymore?
And I'm about to have me a baby.
I know you are,Jenna.
I know you are.
I was just dreaming a little for you,
'cause... all my dreams is gone.
Oh, no.
Jenna...
I'm very upset with you.
I'll be waiting in the car.
You have 30 seconds to get your ass in gear and join me.
30 seconds!
You wasn't exaggerating.
Your husband is terrible.
Jenna...
- Honey, congratulations. - Okay,Jenna.
I'll talk to you later, okay?
Earl...
No, you don't say nothing.
You don't say one word.
Not one word.
You just sit there.
Earl, that hurts.
Open the cabinet
where the coffee and the sugar jars are.
I don't want...
Just open it!
What is that?
Jenna, what is that?
Money.
It's all over the fucking house!
In cabinets, in drawers,
under chairs, in closets!
Money hidden all over my house!
I'm sorry...
Yeah, after everything I've done for you...
you go and hide money from me?
I'm sorry.
You're the only thing I ever loved,Jenna.
And you're the only person to ever belong to me.
And you having a secret from me,
it tears me up.
Why was you hiding money all over the house?
I don't know.
Tell me you was going to buy me a present.
I was going to buy you a present.
Tell me you was going to su... surprise me.
I was going to surprise you.
Just hold me.
Truth is, Earl...
Truth is, I was saving that money...
for the baby.
I was going to buy some nice things-
a crib,
toys, layette- it was all for the baby.
It was for the baby?
Yeah, so I could buy a crib.
Yeah.
Baby, I want us to... I want us to be happy.
I want us to be happy,Jenna.
Dear damn baby...
Ifn you ever want to know the story
ofhow we bought your damn crib, I will tell you.
Your crib was bought with the money
that was supposed to buy me a new life.
Every time I lay you down in that damn crib,
I'm going to think,
''Damn baby, damn crib.
Me stuck like a pin in this damn life. ''
Hey, guess what, sugar?
We got enough money left, I can buy me a nice video camera.
Film you being pregnant, the birth, film the baby.
Maybe when you get a figure back we can make
a few nasty tapes, if you know what I mean.
Sounds wonderful, Earl.
Sit up for me,Jenna.
I wish I could stop everything and run away with you.
Me, too.
Where could we go?
I would go in a second. I would drop everything.
Make it go away.
What?
Everything else in my life.
That's a normal reading.
Jenna, get dressed.
Meet me outside.
I'll be there in 1 0 minutes.
We're going someplace.
We might even run away.
We'll figure it out.
I mean it.
Don't you spray me! Don't you dare spray me!
Hunter, no!
No! No!
What did I say?
- - Hunter, no!
Nobody ever tells you beforehand
how ridiculously hard it's going to be.
- Come on, Hunter. -
Dr. Pomatter, I believe my water just broke.
Hey, sweetheart.
Oh, Dr. Pomatter, this is my husband, Earl.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
Nice to meet you, Doc.
Excuse me, but could you get up from that chair
- so I could sit next to my wife? - Right.
I would have brought you
some candy or flowers, but I didn't have no time.
That's okay, Earl.
I need you to rest now,Jenna. Big moment coming soon.
I'll leave you folks to your privacy. Excuse me.
- Dr. Pomatter... - Yes,Jenna.
I just want to make sure we're clear about one thing.
- What's that,Jenna? - I want drugs.
I want massive amounts of drugs.
I want the maximum legal limit of drugs.
Noted and understood.
Oh, do... do you belong here?
Yeah, I'm kin.
Joe, hi!
You having your surgery today?
Later this afternoon.
Cal told me you were here.
Here, I bought you this card.
It's silly. Look at it later, after all
the fuss is over.
- Thanks. - Put it right next
- to you on the nightstand. - I will.
I remember you.
You're the husband.
Yeah, I'm the husband.
Lucky for you, I didn't take money out ofJenna's check
for all the damage you did in my diner at that wedding.
Don't say nothing smart-ass.
I'm leaving.
Give me a hug first.
Absolutely not.
Earl, if you don't
put that stinking camera away, I'm going to smash it.
Earl!
All right, all right.
You're doing great, sweetheart.
You're doing great.
What am I doing?
Try and steady your breathing, hon.
Hi. I'm Francine Pomatter.
Jim's told me so much about you.
He thinks you're just a terrific woman.
So you must be.
Did I mention my wife is a resident here?
I think you might have mentioned that.
He's so proud of me. He tells everybody.
She going to be here through the whole delivery?
I mean, are all the residents going to be here?
No, no, they were just here
to witness the administration of the epidural.
So I'm clearing the room now.
So everybody out.
She's fully dilated, Doctor. I think it's time for her to push.
Let's go.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 1 0...
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 1 0...
That was a good one,Jenna. That was a good one.
- One, two, three, four, five... - We're getting close.
- Good, good. - ...six, seven, eight, nine...
Good, we're almost there.
- We're almost there, sugar. - One, two, three, four, five...
...six, seven, eight, nine, 1 0.
I don't want no baby, Earl!
Oh, it's a girl.
How do you like that?
Would you like to cut the cord, Mr. Hunterson?
Yeah. Why not?
Would you like to hold your baby, Mrs. Hunterson?
Mrs. Hunterson. Did you hear me?
Are you okay?
Mrs. Hunterson?
Give her to me.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Do you remember what I said?
Don't you go loving that baby too much.
I don't love you, Earl.
I haven't loved you for years.
I want a divorce.
That's not a funny joke.
We got this new baby here.
Shouldn't be making jokes like that.
I want you the hell out of my life.
You are never to touch me, ever again.
I am done with you.
If you ever come within six yards of me,
I will flatten your sorry ass, and I will enjoy doing it.
Now hold on a second.
Lulu- that's your name.
Little Lulu.
We're going to have so much fun, little girl.
We're going to have
so... much... fun.
Jenna, sweet,
-you got to wake up. - Hmm?
We got to wake you. It's time to go.
Earl's refusing to pay, so they're kicking you out.
- Oh, I can't go home. - You gonna come stay
with us for a while till you get back on your feet.
You could stay with us,
but I thought Phil's convulsions might frighten the baby.
Oh, I got to see that baby!
Oh, a beautiful baby girl!
Oh...
Look at that little girl!
Cute little girl.
Little, tiny baby girl.
Lulu, the love of my life.
Hon, we have some bad news for you.
Old Joe was admitted to the hospital
same day you were.
No, I know, he came by
to see me.
Well, he's not doing so well.
In fact, he went into a coma
and they don't think he's going to recover.
No! Oh, poorJoe.
I know you like him.
You're probably the only person alive that likes him, though.
Becky!
I'm sorry, but he's a scaly old gator.
No, he's dear.
He came in, he gave me this card.
Where'd I put that?
I set it down right over here.
- Look at the baby. Look at that. - She's so cute.
Oh, the tiniest little hands.
Look at the little nose.
Oh, she's pretty.
-Jenna, she's real pretty. -Jenna, she's...
Little girl, little girl
Little baby girl
We love that baby girl
She's the cutest baby in...
Is it a nice card?
Yeah, it's okay.
He made me a drawing.
You want to see it?
Yeah, okay.
- Oh. - Hmm.
Isn't that nice?
Yeah.
It's pretty nice.
Jenna?
Jenna, where you going?
Oh, they're kicking me out.
Uh, ladies, would you mind
if I had a minute alone with my patient
to talk to her before she leaves?
Oh...
- Okay. - Okay.
- Thanks. - Here, Becky, take her.
Oh, goodness.
Come here, baby. Come here, little baby.
You come see Aunt Becky. You come see Aunt Becky.
Oh, my goodness.
Thanks, ladies.
Okay.
Look at you.
Dawn, look at her face.
I know what you're thinking.
No, I don't. That's a lie.
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking... I could never thank you enough
for everything you've done for me.
I'm thinking your wife's around
and you probably shouldn't kiss me.
The way she looks at you,
so much trust.
So that's it?
It's over? I don't have any say in this?
We could have a big drama here that gets drawn out for a couple years,
makes everyone miserable.
Or we could just end it right here, you know?
No body count,just say bye-bye.
I'm saying bye-bye.
Dawn, wheel me off now, okay?
Off? Okay.
Wheel me off.
Wait, wheel me back.
Here...
Take this.
Okay, wheel me off again.
What the heck was that all about?
Oh, nothing. I just had an affair with him.
Your doctor?
Yeah, and he's married. Nice lady, too.
Jenna!
I just ended it for good.
Here, give Lulu to me.
Okay. Go see your mommy.
Hi!
Geez, I never seen a baby this beautiful.
You ever seen a baby this beautiful?
No.
Baby, don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Baby, don't be blue
Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby, don't you cry, gonna make a pie
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart.
Bye!
- Bye, y'all! - Bye-bye!
How do you say ''good-bye''?
Bye, bye, bye!
Bye-bye.
Bye!
You want to walk?
Bye!