Telephone
Calling me
Who put all that shit in your head?
Saying things
Telling things
Till you break
Filthy water
Bubbles up
Who put all the shit in your head?
Hey.
What?
Purity Supreme motherfucking fire.
Get over here right now.
- All right. - Watch this.
Come here.
- Pay atten... Okay. All right. - Locked in.
Watch this, watch this.
Right there!
What am I missing?
Really?
Watch again. And...
there.
Where's the limp?
Oh, dude. What? Come on.
Okay, I'll slow it down. Watch.
Slow it down for you.
Come on. Seriously?
- He's not limping. - No.
And people who limp don't miraculously not limp for four full strides.
You know what?
I'm just gonna have to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.
- You are smart. - You're goddamn right I am.
Hot today.
What's this?
- What's that? - Oh, no, no.
You know, it's nothing, I mean, I don't wanna rain on your parade.
- Steal your thunder. - Fucking Gudsen.
What do you got?
Well, you know, last night our Milk Jug asshole torched a house
with a baby inside.
- The baby's fine. - Shit.
Father will need a dozen skin grafts to resemble anything adjacent to normal.
And the mother's out of a house.
But, before the couple's house was torched, they went for dinner.
They had a fine old time.
They were happy.
This guy was seen watching them.
This our guy?
This is our guy.
Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy Fasano!
Gimme two of those fresh cheddy chickas, baby.
And some Cajun tots.
How you doing today, Freddy?
I'm okay, Miss Cephus.
As many times I'm in here,
is as many times I told your shy ass to call me Brenda.
So do it. Call me Brenda.
Thank you for choosing Coop's...
Brenda.
When you gonna let me cut that hair?
There's a handsome face under all that.
Yo, white boy.
He called me Brenda.
I always call you Brenda.
Yeah, but he shy.
How come he's so shy?
- How come you so shy? - I'm not shy, I'm just...
I'm just not used...
He ain't shy.
You gotta watch out for the quiet ones now.
Lot of times they hide their intelligence
'cause the world is filled with dumb assholes consumed with jealousy.
Maybe he'll be the new manager.
Taylor's our manager.
Little bitch got a job at a start-up.
He's leaving us.
Freddy Fasano, Manager.
- No. - What?
Don't let her trip you out, man.
There ain't no ladders built for the likes of us.
I can't help you.
You sure?
Look, I never saw that guy.
What? You think he was at the restaurant?
Yeah, we do.
Why?
Well, we think he sets fires to people
whose lives he's jealous of.
When you were at the restaurant, were you having a good time,
joking around?
Enjoying yourself?
So you...
You're telling me I'm gonna look like this for the rest of my life...
because I laughed?
Donald had never known love.
Even his mother poured her love into other things.
Boyfriends mostly.
And the cheap gifts they bought her.
Booze.
Do you need help?
Nope. No, no. I got this.
You, read.
It's good. It's good.
What, the pasta?
The pasta, yeah, honey.
No, the book.
It's good.
What'd you like most?
I like all the fire stuff.
It's so real, it feels like you're there.
At the fires?
- Yeah. - And in the office,
the sense of the job was great.
Anything else?
Maybe a few women characters to balance out the...
I don't know, dude-ness.
So you're saying it's dude-heavy?
Very dude-heavy.
Like dude-centric.
But otherwise?
Like, overall?
It's good.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
When I started at Coop's, I was a fry cook.
Back then, I had no idea I had what it took to be a manager.
Coop's believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.
What makes Coop's different is that we're not just about chicken.
We're about community. Diversity and inclusion.
There's room in this henhouse for everyone.
If you care about teamwork, safety, and sanitation,
and you believe customer service is no yolk,
then fill out our online management application.
All you need is a high school diploma.
Join the Coop's family.
Where birds of a feather, flock together.
You didn't graduate high school?
Nah.
Even I pulled that shit off.
Got my GED in my 20s.
So there you go.
It said "high school diploma."
Yeah, well they left off "or equivalent"
'cause I know at least three managers in this company that only got GEDs.
That's for real, man.
D'Ondre Walker?
Runs the one on the corner of Avon and 16th. GED.
Kendra what's-her-name?
Who used to run the one on Robertson
till she got caught fucking that 16-year-old cashier?
GED, brother.
But Coop's, they start their managers off
at less than what an employee with your time in makes already.
So time you make any real money, it's, like, 2035, man.
And you're like, what 60?
No...
I'm 43.
43?
That's been a tough four decades, dawg.
Damn.
Okay, well...
You're 43.
That's, like, 600 in the corporate world.
All right, just best... stay where you're at.
I don't wanna stay where I'm at...
Enunciate, motherfucker.
You don't have dreams...
what do you have?
This.
I don't like this.
No one does.
Hey, what's up?
Guess how many times I've been to McDonald's today?
- How many times? Twice? - You're psychic.
Say "hi," Sophie.
There's my monster.
Sophie got a burger for lunch today,
but we had to go back because they put a pickle in it.
- Girl threw a fit. - I didn't threw a fit.
You acted like they were trying to poison you.
No.
So, what time can I bring her over on Thursday?
6:00 too early?
No, 6:00 is fine.
My queen.
I got a letter from the parole board.
Right. Benji told me about that.
Yeah?
What did he say?
Just that it was happening.
Mich?
Yeah.
She's not gonna get out.
It's not like she's in there for civil disobedience.
People died.
Yeah, they did.
All right. I'll hit you later.
- All right? - All right. Bet.
- All right. Bye. - Thank you.
Hey, you gave him too much distance.
Distance is fine.
You're gonna lose him at the light.
Where'd you learn your POST pursuit course again?
Well, I don't know what that is, so...
He doesn't know what that is. I'll give you a hint.
You know POST is... it's an acronym.
- P-O-S-T. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's a good idea. Training. - Peace Officer Standards and Training.
Yeah. So it's where you learn how to drive like a cop.
There's also PIT, EVOC, not to mention, C.R.I. Tactical,
- which I learned in the service. - Point taken, Detective Calderone.
What's that? Say that again now?
I think you mean, "Detective, how could I have ever doubted you?
You're so fucking smart, and brilliant."
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey. Can you remind me what an engineer does again?
Wow.
Okay, you're gonna beat that horse till it fucking rots.
- I know you are. - Yeah.
This isn't where he lives though, right?
He has a house in Gelford.
Maybe this is where he keeps all his mementos from the fires.
Could get a warrant.
Find out.
Search the trailer of a fireman
whose only crime, far as we can tell, is no-showing his job?
Wake me if he comes out.
You wanna stay?
That's the job.
How come you get to nap?
I did all the driving.
You in trouble with the law, daughter? You know I can't help you with that.
I'm sorry. Can I not just stop by and say hi?
Sure, but you never do.
I need the keys to the lake house, please.
Weekend in paradise.
Jeffrey got the day off?
No, the wedding planner needs to do a walk-through.
She has to see how to arrange the chairs.
Pretty sure the chairs are going to be facing you and Jeffrey.
It's not rocket science.
She has to, like, measure the deck.
- My deck? - Yes.
Where the vows will be exchanged.
I see you furrowing that Englehart brow there.
- Everything okay? - Yeah, no, yes.
I just... I need to get to work, so, could you please?
Sure everything's all right?
Yes. I would tell you if it wasn't.
Your bait and tackle box will remain unmolested.
You're a credit to your ancestors.
- This is great. Thank you. - Good.
Okay.
Love you, bug.
Five whole days of this shit.
And nights.
If he's the arsonist, he's definitely on sabbatical.
Afraid so.
Hallelujah.
- Hey. Yo. - Yo.
Someone make a trip to Marshalls.
Kohl's.
And you were right about the GED.
Human resources sent me an application.
Sky's the limit then, dawg.
Yo, baby, give us two Brekkie Chicka Waffle sandwiches,
an order of the French toast sticks and...
You want coffee?
Two coffees. Extra large.
Cash or charge?
That ain't how you do customer service.
- That how you do customer service? - Not by a damn sight.
Got to put some honey into it, little boy.
"Is that everything, ladies?" Try that.
- Is that everything... - Ladies.
Ladies.
Now there's a man with a plan.
You're doing it, aren't you?
He's doing it. Honey, this is Freddy.
- Freddy, Darlene works at my shop. - Hi.
Freddy's a man of few words. Strong, silent type.
You think he could use a cut?
What's the occasion?
- He's going for a promotion. - Then for sure. High and tight.
I was thinking the same. What you doing after work today, Freddy?
- I don't know. - Well, I do.
You come by my shop. We'll get you looking all Fortune 500.
I can't.
Why not?
Order up!
See you at 5:00.
And it's on the house, Freddy.
"I like you,"
said Donald.
"But I do not like you," replied Beatrice.
"That could be a problem,"
Donald told her menacingly.
H...
How long have you been there?
'Bout half a minute. What you doing?
I...
Well, I...
I'm writing a book.
It's easier if I dictate.
Wow.
Okay.
Investigator David Gudsen.
What? He's writing a book.
- Okay. What's it about? - Stuff.
Yeah, well, tell me. I want to know.
No.
What do you mean, "no"?
Why not?
- Because you'll give me shit about it. - I'm not gonna gi...
Yeah. You know, you're right.
Smart move, man.
Protect yourself, Dave.
So what's it about?
Can I get a signed copy one day?
Course.
I'd like that.
I'd like to...
sign one to you.
Fuck. To anyone.
The fuck am I missing, man?
Nothing.
Two weeks.
Nothing.
Not a car torching, a fucking dumpster, a warehouse alley.
Nothing.
He knows he's in our sights, or...
he's laying low.
Fucking Milk Jug though.
I mean, we might never even hear from him again.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
I can't live with that.
Abso-fucking-lutely not. I need this, okay?
I need to reel in a goddamn whale right now.
I can't get out unless I nail him or fucking him.
Or fucking both of them.
You have beautiful hair.
Kinda hair my son had.
Kinda hair warriors had.
Your people were warriors.
Mine too, but no more.
How we fight now is to be invisible.
But with a smile.
They can't hurt what they can't see.
Exactly.
You have a son?
Had. He's with God now.
I like to cut this tight and high with a mid-fade.
I have big ears.
That's what you afraid of?
I have bug eyes.
This is you.
That's gotta hurt.
See, that's why I get the bulls out early.
So much pressure to close them at the end. It's terrible.
Are you done?
- Are you? - Well.
You miss this, I got three tries at that fat, little 17,
and you'll live a life of ignominy...
- God. - Fuck you.
I fear that serving of ignominy is coming my way.
"Ignominy"?
Don't try and language-shame me for my impeccable vocabulary.
Another libation?
Well, you just said it twice. No, I'm good.
Gotta get back to Ashley.
How is the lady of the house?
She's all right.
That good, huh?
Sometimes I just feel...
I feel, I'm not saying it's scientific fact,
like every day I wake up on trial and I gotta prove I'm not a piece of shit.
And if I do, the next day we're back at square one.
That sounds...
exhausting.
She's carrying a lot of stress.
She's a librarian.
What's she stressed about? Late fees?
Emmett.
Yeah, he's kinda...
mopey.
That's your fault?
Everything's my fault.
It's marriage.
No, it's not.
I'm fine.
We're fine.
Then you're fine.
To the scene...
of the crime?
Of course you fucking do, my man.
Oh, God!
Don't you move.
Don't you fucking move!
This ain't my first bunker, Arch.
Get me a doctor.
Who else is here? Who else is here?
Who else is fucking here?
- Who else would be here? Get me a doctor! - Who else is here? Don't you fucking...
- I'll blow your brains... - You're breaking my wrists!
- Fucking hurt... - Who else is here?
There's no one here.
A doctor! I have fucking rights!
Civil rights advocate?
Doesn't seem on-brand, Arch.
Fuck! Fuck!
Oh, fuck.
Why do you set fires?
- I don't set fires. - Why do you set fires, Arch?
- I don't set fires. - Why do you... set fucking fires?
- I don't set fires. Look around. - Why do you set fires?
There's no incendiary devices. No fucking accelerants!
Ah, fuck!
Okay, so if you don't set fires, why are you never at work?
Fuck.
Oh, God!
- Oh, fuck! - Damn it, you better stop lying to me!
You know how hard it is to build a place like this
and hold down a job?
Do you think I'm gonna add fucking arson on the list,
you fucking genius?
Oh, you fuck... Oh, fuck...
You better have a fucking warrant, you stupid fucking twat!
Fuck!
Oh, God!
Where the fuck are you going?
Jesus. You're oversteering, you idiots.
Oh, God.
You observed him walking to the truck?
Yeah, I see he's carrying the pig, something else, he had...
Pig?
M60.
You know, the big machine gun. It's...
We called it the "pig," you know, in the service.
So, he loads it in the truck, goes back inside...
- At which point you breached the gate? - I went to the truck.
Yeah. Not only do I see the pig, I see a 240.
I'm thinking Newtown. I'm thinking fucking Vegas. You know...
Every word she says is a fucking lie. You fucking liar!
I will fucking end your career.
You're fucking done!
- Fuck! - Why didn't you call it in right then?
That motherfucker would've been able to come back out with more.
Put on body armor.
How many of us might not have made it home trying to take him like that?
Hey, Harv.
Hey, you comin' to the gin mill?
Tonight? No. I...
I'm already home.
Well, your partner gets a righteous shoot, and you're gonna stay home, huh?
My partner, what?
Put two in Arch Stanton's thighs.
One on each side of his dick.
Stanton was gonna go Columbine or some shit.
She popped him and called in ATF.
This crazy son of a bitch had an entire bunker
underneath his trailer.
Hey, babe.
Babe.
We...
We have a crisis to discuss.
Can I go first?
What?
My partner shot a guy today.
Were you with her?
No, no.
- Well, is he dead? - No.
She shot a guy, and she's treated like a hero
even though the guy isn't our fucking arsonist.
And, cherry on top...
I got rejected by an agent today.
Are you through?
Trying to share some fucking pain here.
Emmett's father is moving 2,000 miles away.
Gerard.
He got a job.
Tenure track. He has to take it. He...
He leaves next week.
Yeah, Emmett can go to college there for almost nothing, but until then...
he's gonna be devastated.
- Gerard? - Emmett.
Free tuition though.
He'll move in here with us full time?
That's cool.
We'll adjust.
Hey.
We're in this together.
For sure.
I got you.
What do you wanna do about dinner, huh?
Ash.
I'm not hungry.
You'll be hungry.
If you're hungry, you should order something.
I'm not hungry. I'm just saying as a family, we'll get hungry.
- So, what do you want-- - Order whatever you want.
Enough for Emmett too.
- Okay. So, should I just-- - Just handle it, Dave.
I got an idea.
Bang, bang, bang!
Let's go out with a bang Bang, bang, bang!
Oh, uh-oh!
E-man!
Dad picked me up from school.
I wanna hug you.
I'll probably fucking lose it.
Okay.
Mind the language, bro.
Got food from that hot chicken place you like.
I already ate.
More for me.
It's like...
What?
All I've ever wanted out of this shit deal was both of you.
- And... - I know.
And now he's...
- he's leaving, so... - I know, baby. I'm sorry.
Hey, you know what?
Don't worry about it, bro.
I'm here for you.
I couldn't really give less of a fuck.
What'd you just say to me?
Did I stutter?
You know, you get three squares a day.
People who care about you.
You care for me? Okay.
- A roof over your fucking head-- - Ease up.
It's her roof.
Plenty of kids lose parents for real, but you know what they do about it?
- Her roof! - They shut the f...
Let's all just...
Well, I'm clearly not helping here.
I'm gonna step out.
Oh, baby.
Shoving off, milady.
Badass shoot today.
Thank you, kind sir.
Where's Dave?
Dave. Yeah, he doesn't show up for these kind of things.
Yeah?
Skipped more retirement parties than I can count.
Dave skipped my commendation party.
Yeah, he's...
Dave celebrates Dave.
Kind of a one-way street in that regard.
Don't shoot off any more phalluses before I'm back on duty, huh?
It was his thighs.
But where were you aimin'?
Okay. Shots are up!
No? Anymore, buddy? There ya go.
You had enough?
There she is.
I figured you'd come out for a smoke.
Fresh air.
I can do fresh air.
- No, you can't. - Yes, I fucking can. You watch me now.
You watch me.
So, you're gonna be telling your grandkids this story, huh?
- It's a hell of a story. - Hell of a story.
- It's a hell of a goddamn story. - My God.
Wow.
What?
- What? - Some stories are airtight and some leak.
- And mine? - It's the fucking Titanic.
You kidding me?
You know one of your slugs landed a half inch
from his fucking femoral artery?
Imagine if he fucking died.
Then your "story"
would've attracted a lot more scrutiny.
Think it would hold up?
No.
Stanton's femoral artery wasn't the only thing to dodge a bullet today.
He asked me how he could be an arsonist
when he spends all his free time building his fucking bunker.
Well, I mean, it's a fair point.
He's not our guy. What do you want me to say?
Nope.
Once we cross-reference the fires with his fucking receipts
for cement, guns, porn, whatever...
he's gonna be ruled out.
Yeah. You're probably right.
Got any other suspects?
Active firefighters? No.
Former firefighters?
Just one.