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dd [Humming "There's No Place Like Home"]
dd [Continues]
[Hissing. Wolf Whistle]
Tea time!
Oh. Good.
[Rumbling]
Oh.
[Gasping] What under earth?
Oh! Ooh!
Oh! Oh. Ooh!
- Whoa! - Ooh! [Whimpers]
- [Loud Clattering] - Oh, help!
Ooh! Aah!
[Grunting]
- [Motor Rumbling] - Aaah!
Aaah!
Ooh! [Grunts]
[Panting] Oh.
- Hello. Mole! - Oh. Hello. Rat.
Care for a mess about on the river?
It's a perfect day for a picnic.
I hate to bother you. But...
something terrible is going on.
Something terrible going on?
- Hello. Otter. - Oh. Hello. Ratty.
Ooh-hoo! Hello, Ratty!
- Careful. You rabbits. - [Bicycle Bell Dings]
Beautiful day.
My dear Mole. There's not the minutest thing terrible going on.
It's a lovely. Glorious day for a picnic. Jump in.
I-It is a lovely day...
except my home has been knocked in.
Who knocked in your home. Mole?
That's what I want to ask Mr. Toad.
- Toad? - It was in his meadow.
You won't get any sense out ofToad...
whereas a picnic might well steady the nerves.
It wasn't very grand. But it was my home.
Well. You... you can come and live with me. Mole.
I did love it so. Rat.
But the hamper's all packed...
and the sandwiches are cut and... and...
- Oh. All right. Come on. I'll take you to Toad Hall. - Thank you. Rat.
We can have the picnic there.
- Oh! Mind the varnish. - I haven't been in a boat before.
What?
You've never been in a...
Well. Shiver me whiskers.
- You poor creature. - Is it as nice as all that?
It's the only thing.
My dear young friend. There is nothing...
absolutely nothing half as worth doing...
as simply messing about in a boat.
Simply messing...
messing about... in boats.
d There's plenty to do and lots of time too d
d Messing about on the river d
d Wherever you go you go with the flow d
d When you're messing about on the river d
d Whether you get there or whether you don't d
d You think it would matter d
d I tell you it won't d
d Lots to be done and it's all of it fun d
d When you're messing about on the river d
[Low Voice] d I'm on my way to a sea. Come with me d
- d I'm on my way to a sea dd - The river's my whole life.
I don't want any other.
What it hasn't got is not worth having...
and what it doesn't know is not worth knowing.
What's that?
- [Bird Shrieking] - [Rat] That? That's the wildwood.
Uh. We don't go there very often. We riverbankers.
Are there very nice p-people there?
Well. The. Um... the squirrels are all right...
and the. Uh... the rabbits. Some of them.
And there's Badger. Of course.
He lives right in the heart of it. Dear old Badger.
But it's not for the likes of you or me.
W-Why not?
There are others... weasels. Particularly.
They're all right in their own way. But they're...
They're just out for themselves. They don't give a hoot for anyone else.
And, uh, beyond the wildwood?
Beyond the wildwood comes the wide world.
That's something that doesn't concern either you or me.
Please don't ever refer to it again.
Oh. Rat thinks life's one big picnic.
Wait till we take over the riverbank.
He won't find it so easy then.
- Excuse me. Sir. - Keep still in there.
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
There's Toad Hall now.
Finest house on the river.
Though we never admit as much to Toad. Of course.
Hello.
I see the boating craze is over.
First it was sailing. Then he tired of that.
He took up punting. This year I've been giving him rowing lessons.
Come on. Let's meet Toad.
[Mosquito Buzzing]
Oh! Hurrah! Splendid!
Toad. This is Mole.
Just going to send for you. Both of you.
My young friend's just lost his home.
Has he? What a stroke of luck.
- No. No. No. It was dreadful. - You can live with me.
He's going to live with me. Toad.
No. I just acquired the latest thing! Come and see!
Toad.
- How's the boating? - Boating? Oh. Pooh!
Silly. Boyish amusement. Gave that up ages ago.
[Toad Chuckling] Don't mind them. Bit of a stuffy lot.
The finest house on the river, what?
[Snorts] Yes.
I was hoping you'd help me get my home back.
It was in your meadow. You see. Toad.
Pooh! Not my meadow any longer.
Sold it off. I needed a spot of ready cash.
He sold off my hole.
Now. Iook here. Toad.
That meadow belonged to your father.
Moles have lived there for centuries. You can'tjust sell it off.
Behold your new home. Moley!
- What is it? - Very heavy.
It's the latest thing!
But I don't want a new home. Ratty.
The open road! The dusty highway!
Heath and hedgerow and rolling down.
- Here today. - Off to somewhere else tomorrow!
It doesn't bear thinking about.
- I-It's a caravan. - Ooh, finest cart ever built.
Designed it myself. Of course.
And we can set off after lunch.
- Oh. Stop there. Toady. - Travel. Change. Excitement!
Did I just hear you say "start" and "we" and "after lunch"?
Oh. Dear old Ratty. You can't just stick to your fusty old river all your life.
I want to show you the world!
I don't want to see the world and I'm...
going to stick to my fusty old river.
Moley and I are going for a picnic on it. Aren't we. Mole?
- Y-Yes. Once we found out what happened to my home. - Oh. Absolutely.
Then it's all settled. We set off after lunch.
I say. Horsey. Faster!
It's very kind of Mr. Toad. Of course. But...
it's not like having my own hole.
Don't worry. He'll soon get bored with it.
[Loud Yawn]
[Rat] Toad, when you say you sold off your meadow...
who did you sell it to?
Oh. Some weasels. I believe.
Weasels? Toad!
Oh. Don't... don't start lecturing me.
You know perfectly well the weasels are after Toad Hall.
- It was only a meadow. - It was Mole's home.
- Oh. Pooh! You worry too much. - [Disgusted Sigh]
Uh...
- [Horn Honking] - Uh... Look out!
[Horn Honking]
[Whinnying]
[Horn Honking Continues]
- [Honking] - Scoundrels!
- What was that? - [Rat] Road hogs!
Toad. Come and give us a hand.
- Boop, boop! - Toad?
- Boop. Boop! - Toady.
- Are you all right? - Boop. Boop!
There. Don't worry. They've gone.
We'll go straight down to the police station and lodge a complaint.
Complaint? Me. Complain of that beautiful. Heavenly vision?
- The cart's not too badly damaged. - The cart? Oh. Pooh!
Horrid little cart. Common cart.
Canary-colored cart.
Poetry in motion. The only way to travel.
Here today. And next week tomorrow! Whoo-wee!
Villages skip. Towns and cities jump.
- [Chicken Clucking] - Whoop! Always someone else's horizon.
Oh. Bliss! Oh. Pooh. Pooh!
[Horn Honking]
- Toad! - Ooh!
Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Ooh! Aah! - Toad. You idiot!
- [Rat] Oh, no! - [Yells]
Look out!
[Toad Hooting]
Whoo! Ho-ho!
- [Toad Continues Hooting] - [Horn Honking]
- Hang on! - Toad. For goodness sake. Slow down!
- Whoo! Ha-ha! - [Mole] That's the wildwood!
- Hang on! - Toad. You're driving into the wildwood!
Yes! [Hooting]
Toad.
[Rat] Toad. Stop this car at once. I insist!
- Ratty! - [Hooting]
Ooh!
Hang on. You lads... Funny. Wonder where they went.
Oooh. Hmm.
Oh!
Oh! No! Ooh!
- [Loud Crash] - [Clattering]
Help! [Blubbering]
Help! Help! Please!
Chief. Toad's crashed another car.
That's the seventh he's smashed.
That green head's playing right into our hands.
[Bird Shrieking]
- [Sun] Cheerio! - Oh.
Wait... Wait a minute.
Sorry. Can't stop.
[Whooshing Noise]
Well. Well. If it isn't little Mole.
I'm not afraid of you weasels.
M-My friends will be along any moment.
- [Chuckles] - Friends?
- Yes. - [Chief Weasel] Listen, Mole.
There is no such thing in this world as friends.
Everyone's only out for themselves.
Take us weasels.
[Together] First you see us.
Then you don't.
Now you hear us.
[Quietly] Now you won't.
d It's our secret of survival in a very nasty world d
d Now you feel us Now you can't d
d Are we real Perhaps we aren't d
d It's our secret of survival in a very nasty world d
Is it really such a nasty world?
Oh. Yes. A very nasty world. Indeed.
[Together] Nastier than you could ever dream of.
- From up above! - And from beneath.
- Eyes! Jaws! - Claws and teeth.
d Ready to attack you You're a snack. You'd better run d
d Don't come walking in the wildwood if you haven't got a gun d
[Cackling]
d Every creature for survival has to look out for itself d
- d Oh. No nannies here d - d Or grannies here to look after your health d
d You're in the wildwood d
d And every child would tell you that you've got no business to be here d
d First you see us Then you don't d
- d Now you hear us d - [Quietly] d Now you won't d
d It's our secret of survival in a very nasty world d
d Now you feel us Now you cant't d
d Are we real Perhaps we aren't d
d It's our secret of survival It's our secret of survival d
d It's our secret of survival in a very nasty world dd
Listen. Mole.
You tell your friends to stop meddling in Toad's affairs.
Yes. It's our meadow. And we're going to build a really big...
Shut up!
If Toad wants to sell his property to us. That's his business.
Right. And when he sells us Toad Hall. We'll call the shots around here.
- Why don't you tell him all our plans? - Well...
at first we make Toad Hall a weasel-only area.
- Then we ban picnics along the whole riverbank. - Garbage brain!
It's meant to be a secret!
Friends? You're a spineless nobody. Mole.
Who'd want to be your friend?
[Rat] Mole! Where are you, Mole?
[Bird Shrieking]
Where are you, Mole?
There you are. Mole. Are you all right. Moley?
I am. Now you're here. Ratty. But are you all right?
Oh, I'm fine. Tuck your scarf in.
- You don't want to catch your death of cold. - Yes.
Hello. That's handy. Right. Now, we better go and find Toad.
It's not safe in the wildwoods. You know.
- Yes. I... - It's not safe at all.
- Pooh. Pooh. - Come, come.
- Who's there?
- Mr. Toad. - Waah! It's you!
What an honor for the wildwood.
Good lord. How did I get here?
I understand you need finance for another motorcar.
Another motor? Oh. Yes.
We have a little business proposition.
Oh. Ratty. We're not lost. Are we?
No. No. No. No. No. It's. Um... It's this way. Old fellow.
Brace up. Moley. Look!
It's Badger's place.
[Bell Rings]
[Knocking Continues]
- [Bell Ringing] - [Knocking Continues]
[Ringing]
[Knocking, Ringing Continue]
[Snoring]
What... What the devil?
- Don't worry. He's not that fierce. - "Fierce"?
Come on.
What time is it. For heaven's sake?
Knock. Knock. Knock. I'll give you knock. Knock. Knock.
[Loud Knocking]
What is the meaning of this?
- Um... - Sorry. Badger.
- It's me. Ratty. - It's the middle of winter.
- And my friend Mole. - And the middle of the night. By the looks of it.
Yes. Well. We're lost in the wildwood.
Oh, it's you, you say, Ratty.
Well. Obviously. Badger.
And. Uh. Mole.
Y-Y-Yes. Sir.
- Well. Come in. Come in. - Thank you. Badger.
Were the weasels beastly to you. Moley?
Mmm. They said they were going to turn Toad Hall into a weasel-only area.
- Did they? - Mm-hmm. And ban picnics on the river.
Ban picnics?
Mmm. And they said they were going to build a big something on the meadow Toad sold them.
Toad sold his meadow to the weasels?
That's why they knocked in my home.
Ah. It's all right. Moley. You can come and live with me.
He's going to live with me. Badger.
It was only a small. Dingy little place.
Not like here. Badger...
or your cozy quarters. Rat...
or Toad's beautiful hall.
But it was my own. My very own little hole.
That good-for-nothing Toad!
And now he's crashed yet another motorcar.
- How many is that? - Cars or crashes?
It's the same thing with Toad.
- This is the seventh. - [Knocking]
- [Bell Ringing] - This is an outrage.
- Oh. Ow! Ouch! - I've had quite enough visitors for one winter.
I was attacked by weasels. Hundreds of them.
Did they sing a dreadful song?
They wanted me to put up Toad Hall as collateral against a new motor.
- Toad. You didn't! - Of course not.
- The old place is worth at least six new motors. - Six motorcars?
It's time you stopped this motoring craze.
It'd cost the earth. Toady.
- You've squandered the money your father left you. - Haven't. There's tons of it.
Your father was a particular friend of mine. Toad.
And I promised him on his deathbed that I would ensure...
that you looked after your inheritance.
- I was only having a bit of fun. Badger. - So you're a nincompoop.
Oh. Thank you. Badger.
Toad. "nincompoop" is not a compliment.
Oh. Isn't it?
Take off those ridiculous goggles.
- Shan't. - Rat.
[Gasps] I say. Badger!
- Now the driving gloves. - Oh. Not my gloves.
Oh. No. They're brand new. Cost a fortune.
Exactly.
- [Toad] Ohh! - Now you will accompany me in there...
where you're going to hear a few facts about yourself.
- [Door Slams] - [Badger] Pull yourself together!
- [Toad Whimpering] - You're light-minded, incompetent, irresponsible...
impractical with your property!
[Yelling Continues, Faint]
Goodness only knows what your father would have said!
- [Toad Crying] - Don't give me "boo-hoo-hoo"!
It's no good "boo-hoo-hoo"now!
You should have thought of that in the first place...
before you started squandering the money your father left you!
[Clock Bell Dinging]
[Door Opening]
My friends. I'm pleased to inform you...
that Toad has something important to say to you both.
Sit down. Toad.
Right. Toad.
Begin with the "how-sorry-l-am" bit.
"Oh. How sorry I am that I have been so foolish."
B-But I'm not sorry.
It wasn't foolish. It was simply glorious.
But didn't you just tell me in there...
Oh. Yes. Yes. In there. I'd have said anything in there.
You backsliding wretch.
Oh. Dear Badger. You're so eloquent.
You can make me say whatever you like in there.
But I've been thinking it over out here...
and I find that out here I'm not the least bit sorry.
So it's no earthly good saying I am. Now. Is it?
So you don't promise never to touch another motorcar again?
On the contrary. I promise the very next motorcar I see...
Pooh. Pooh!
Pooh. Pooh! Off I go in it!
Ooh! Ooh!
Very well. Gentlemen. It's plan "B."
Plan "B"?
Yes. Ratty. Plan "B."
- Hey. Badger! - Behave like a nincompoop...
you'll be treated like a nincompoop!
[Toad] Oh! Oh! Ooh! Hey!
[Toad] Where are you taking me? This is no way to treat a Toad.
- I've never been treated so atrociously. - Shut up. Toad.
How much further is it. Badger?
This tunnel will take us right to Toad Hall.
We're under his meadow now.
How under earth did you find the time to do all this. Badger?
Oh. I didn't.
Long. Long ago. There was a city of humans right here.
They thought their city would endure forever...
but humans can't let things rest.
Greed. You see... that's their undoing.
But we remain. There were badgers here before...
- and there'll be badgers here still. - [Metal Clanking]
[Weakly] Tea time.
Shh.
We'll teach those weasels. Moley.
[Toad] Come on, you chaps. Just let me out.
You know you can trust me.
Please! Please, let me out. [Weeping]
Ooh! Let me out! Let me out! Ooh!
- What's going on? I shall write my solicitor! - Shut up. Toad!
- You want the servants to hear? - Is this Toad Hall?
- Shh! - I'll be the laughingstock of the kitchen.
- Then shut up! - [Both Grunting]
- I'm sorry. Sir. I just don't know. - [Sighs]
- Oh. Good day. I am looking for Mr. Toad. - He's not here.
Ouch!
I have six new motorcars for him.
- Toad! - You reprobate.
My new motors! Oh, are they brand new?
Oh, I must see them! Let me out!
- Mr. Toad will not be requiring any new motorcars. Thank you. - Yes, I do!
- I love them! Let me out! - H-He's not well.
Ooh, I can see them! Oh, they're wonders!
- Hurrah! - He's suffering from a mania brought about by motorcars.
It's not a mania. I love motorcars.
As his physician. I have ordered he be taken and locked in his room...
until this mania has run its course.
- Those cars are my life, my soul, my raison d'etre! - Shh!
Mr. Toad owes me money.
[Chuckling]
I love motorcars! Please!
- Let me out! - Can I make a proposition?
- We're always open to a deal. - How's this then?
If you remove these machines forthwith...
I promise not to insert one part of them...
into any portion of your anatomy.
Right.
Fair enough.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
Let me out!
Oh. Dear! Stop them! Stop them. Somebody!
Oh. They're driving off.
My lovely motors! [Crying]
All brand-new and shiny.
[Crying Continues]
So. Badger thinks he can cure Toad of motorcars. Does he?
- We don't want him to do that. Chief. - I know.
- We want him to spend every last penny he's got. - I know.
- So he has to give us Toad Hall. - What are you telling me for?
Well. Uh...
- Cheese brain. - Thank you. Sir.
- [Squeals] - [Clears Throat]
Chief. I'll make sure Toad doesn't forget about motorcars.
- Yes. We have a plan. - I have a plan.
- We both thought of it. - No. You didn't.
Just do it!
[Car Horn Honking]
- Oh. Iook. Frank. One of those! - Oh. What fun!
[Horn Honking]
- That was fun. Frank. - Yes. Ripping.
[Toad] Pooh, pooh. Pooh, pooh.
Get out of the way. Officer! Oh. Nincompoop!
[Tires Screeching]
Ooh! Ow!
Seems to be a lot of traffic today. Toad.
Third crash this morning.
Come on. [Grunts]
Toady. I wish you'd get better.
You know. It's been months now.
[Groans] Perhaps if l... Oh. But. No. I mustn't ask.
- What? - I was just thinking I might improve...
with a little fresh air.
Oh. No. No. No. I can't let you out of this room.
You're quite right. Ratty.
Although I was only thinking of a little stroll...
along the river.
The river. Oh. It's so beautiful in the snow.
- [Water Running] - But you're quite right.
I should stay here safe indoors.
Besides. You can't have a picnic in the middle of winter.
Oh. But you can. Everybody thinks you can't. But you can have a picnic anytime.
In fact, winter picnics are my speciality.
All you need is a hot thermos. A warm rug.
I know the most perfect little hollow where you can get all snug...
and watch the snow.
- I mean. If anything could take my mind off... - Quite. Quite.
A picnic on the river certainly would do it. A winter picnic too.
There's a picnic hamper in the cellar all ready.
N-No. No. Toad. I can't.
- It might be the very cure. - Well. Of course. A picnic on the river cures anything.
Oh. Toady. If you promise me faithfully to behave.
Oh. You know me. Ratty.
A picnic on the river!
- Why didn't we think of it before? - You'll have to go...
right down to the cellar to get the hamper.
Look. Um. Toady...
best not mention anything about this to Badger.
Oh-ho-ho. Wouldn't dream of it. Old fellow.
Right.
d Oh. The clever men at Oxford d
d Know all there is to be known d
d But then none of them know what half as much d
d As clever old Mr. Toad d
d Now the world has hailed great heroes d
d As history books have shown d
d But never a name to go down to fame d
d Compared with that ofToad d
d The army all saluted d
d As they marched along the road d
d Was it the king or the president d
d No. It was Mr... dd Hello.
Hmm. Hmm.
[Dog Barking]
[Horn Honking]
- Bother! - What rotten luck.
Oh. Well. Might as well have a spot of lunch.
Ah. Landlord...
table in your snug. If you'd be so kind.
- Certainly. Sir. - Thank you.
Darling.
Oh. Oh. My. Oh. My.
Oh. I wonder.
I wonder if they'd... sell it.
Of course. I'd... I'd have to test it first...
- just to be certain I really liked it. - [Engine Starts]
Oh-ho! Oh-ho! Pooh. Pooh! Look out!
- [Horn Honks] - It's Toad on the road!
Oh-ho! [Laughing] Look out. Everybody!
Whoa, look at Toady! Whoo... Brakes!
- [Tires Screech] - [Loud Crash]
[Clattering]
[Steam Hissing]
The full penalty of the law is hardly sufficient...
for the heinous. Callous. Unmitigatedly evil crime...
perpetrated by the sniveling wretch...
we now see cowering before us in the dock.
Hear! Hear! Hear!
Thank you. Thank you.
I rest my case.
I understood that you were counsel for the defense.
Indeed. I am. Milord. But his crime is so blackguardly...
that this is. In fact. The best defense that can be offered.
I see. Counsel for the prosecution...
do you wish to add to what counsel for the defense has said?
No. Milord. I would just like to wag my finger at the accused a few times.
Certainly. Certainly.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
[Murmuring]
Are there any witnesses for the defense?
Witnesses. Milord? How can there be? It is an open-and-shut case.
- He even insulted an officer of the law. - He called me a nincompoop.
I demand the severest sentence that milord can cook up.
- [Weasels] Hear! Hear! - It's not much of a defense. Is it?
Not much. Milord. No. But the best that can be done in the circumstances.
See the very word guilty indelibly imprinted upon his brow!
[Weasels Yelling]
- Couldn't the prosecution say something else? - Silence!
Milord. I should like to speak on behalf of the defendant.
- No. Sit down! Sit down! - Do you really want to?
- Oh. Very well. - Thank you. Milord.
The gentleman you see before you has not been in his right mind...
- for some time. - Have.
- Shut up. Toad! - Uh. Silence in court.
He's suffering from a dementia. That's a form of madness.
- It's not madness. - Brought about by motorcars.
Motors are what make life worth living.
The speed, the thrill. I'll never give it up.
It's simply... glorious!
Guilty! Guilty!
That's it. That's it.
I am never going to try to help that worthless animal again!
I've heard enough.
Before I pass sentence upon the prisoner. Would the jury care to find him guilty?
- [Murmuring] - I object!
One of those rabbits is a weasel.
No. I'm not. I'm a rabbit.
- Look. He's never a rabbit. - Is he a rabbit?
- Say I'm a rabbit. - [All] Yes. He's a rabbit.
Oh. Very well. How do you find the accused?
Guilty!
I am asking the jury!
Well?
- Say guilty. - [All] Guilty.
- Guilty. - Guilty.
Prisoner at the bar. It is the sentence of this court...
that you be taken hence to a place of lawful execution. There to be hanged...
- What? - You can't hang him. Milord.
Oh. Oh. Well.
In that case. I sentence you to as long in jail as I possibly can.
Say, 12 months for theft...
three years for dangerous driving...
and 15 years for cheeking a police officer.
- He called me a nincompoop. - So you've told us before.
Nincompoop? Me? Ha.
So 18. uh. 19. Let's round it up to 20.
Twenty years in the rankest jail that His Majesty can provide.
[Cheering]
Has the prisoner anything to say?
Yes! Nincompoop!
What?
You're all nincompoops!
- Toad! - What did I tell you?
I increase the sentence to 25 years.
What do you know about life. About freedom?
- You're all miserable. One-eyed nincompoops! - Thirty years!
- What right have you got to judge me? - Take him down. No. Wait.
- I'm Toad. - Forty years!
The handsome Toad! The unstoppable Toad!
d The world has hailed great heroes d
d As history books have shown d
d But never a name to go down to fame compared with that ofToad d
- Fifty years! - d The army all saluted d
d As they marched along the road Oh. Was it the king or the president d
d No. It was Mr. Toad d
d The judge was apoplectic d
- d He thought he might explode d - Sixty!
d He'd never been faced with a prisoner as bold and brave d
- d As Mr. Toad d - [Judge] Seventy!
- d The police could never catch him d - d He was so nimble-toed d
d He escaped from their clutches where none has as much as d
d The amazing Mr. Toad d
- Eighty! - d The officers couldn't believe it d
- d They ooh'd and ah'd and oh'd d - Oh! Ah! Ohh!
dAs high up above them he flew like a bird d
d The incredible Mr. Toad dd Ooh.
- Ninety! - [Weasels] One hundred!
Done! One hundred years!
Take him away!
No! Have mercy!
Do not incarcerate me in the dark. Noisome dungeon!
Oh. No! Do not immure me from the precious light of the sun!
I'll reform! Oh. Dear! Dear me!
[Thunderclaps]
[Rat] It's all my fault. Mole.
If only I hadn't left Toad alone. All for a picnic.
There must be something we could do.
The minute we leave Toad Hall empty. The weasels will be in here like...
weasels.
- [Thunderclaps Continue] - Ratty.
I-I don't know. Couldn't we spring Toad from jail?
Well. How? He's in the strongest prison in the land.
I-I may not be very b-brave. But...
I could dig a tunnel.
- [Clattering Sound] - Moley!
- What was that? - Just my whiskers.
No. I-I heard something.
We had best stay here and guard Toad Hall.
After all. With good behavior. Toad could be out in...
seventy years.
Look out!
[All Yelling]
You're trespassing.
This is a weasel-only area.
And that means nobody's allowed here except weasels.
- What else could it mean? - Just making sure they got the point.
[Angry Growling]
[Grunts]
All unloaded. Chief.
You idiot!
Those are meant to be unloaded here...
and the bones are to go over to the factory.
Sorry. Chief. I'll change 'em over.
After dinner.
What do you think they're after. Ratty?
Whatever it is. Let's give 'em a hand.
Uh. Why are you doing that. Rat?
If in doubt. Mole. It's often best to help keep the weasels confused...
stay one step ahead of their game. Whatever it is.
Wise old Badger. Sensible Rat.
I should have listened to you.
Oh. This is the end. Toad. [Weeping]
Buck up. Toad.
I brought you some bubble and squeak for breakfast.
- Oh. Wretched and unhappy... Did you say bubble and squeak? - Mm-hmm.
- Made it myself. - Oh. What do I care for the pleasures of the flesh?
- Oh. I'll take it away then. - You don't want to waste it.
[Moans] I shall never see Toad Hall again.
Toad Hall? That's the place they're gonna knock down. Isn't it?
I didn't quite catch that. I thought you said "knock it down."
That's right. The new owners have decided to knock it down.
New owners? What are you talking about. Girl?
The old place is mine. Been in the family for years.
"Toad Hall. The ancestral residence of the now disgraced Toad family...
is due for demolition tomorrow morning."
"Weasels. Who say they took the property over from Mr. Toad...
"when he defaulted on repayment of six new motorcars...
say it will be reduced to rubble in 15 seconds."
- They're gonna blow it up. - Blow up Toad Hall?
It's wonderful what they can do now. Isn't it?
My father's house. My sacred trust...
blown to smithereens.
And it's all my fault.
Well. Toad. You'd better stop them.
Talk sense. Girl. What could I do. Incarcerated here?
Unhappy Toad.
Oh. Toad.
I can't help feeling sorry for you.
- In fact. Truth to tell. I'm really quite fond of you. - Yes. It's true.
Ladies find me irresistible.
Ouch.
- My aunt's a tea lady. - That's nothing to brag about.
She's very poor and you're very rich. Or so you keep telling me.
Oh. Yes. I have absolutely pots of money.
Well. Then.
- Mole! - Oh! Oh. Rat.
W-We're nearly there. I could hear Toad's voice right above me.
Well done. Mole.
- Well. Come on then. - Oh. Ratty.
This was your idea. Mole.
- Y-Yes. But... - We can'tjust leave Toad in there, twiddling his thumbs...
while the weasels blow up Toad Hall.
You don't expect me to dress up like that!
Oh? Then you can sit here. Twiddling your thumbs...
while the weasels blow up Toad Hall.
Oh. No. No. No. No.
Here's your five guineas.
Right. Get that off.
Careful with that. It's got all me money in it. What's left of it.
Oh.
Oh. Ratty. There are two women with him.
Two women? What are they doing?
Taking his clothes off.
What?
[Woman Grunts]
Now they're dressing him up in women's clothing.
Perhaps it's some sort of torture.
There. The spitting image.
- I don't look like that. - It's me that doesn't look like that.
Shut up. Now. You tie Auntie up while I make sure the coast is clear.
If I thought I looked that ugly...
I would be more than happy to stay in jail.
- And don't forget to gag her. - Nothing would give me greater pleasure.
Aah! I mean talk about the back of a bus.
I'm surprised people don't catch you to Trafalgar Square.
Silence. Old hag.
Your cries are of no avail against a desperate Toad! Ha-ha!
- Psst! Toad! - Who's that?
- It's me. - Ratty. What on earth are you doing there?
Rescuing you. Come on.
Oh. Don't need rescuing. Old chap.
Got a clever plan all worked out meself.
But. Toady. All you've gotta do is follow me. Mole's built this tunnel.
No. A tunnel is no way for an animal of my mettle to escape.
Us Toads do things with a bit more dash.
A bit more zing.
Toad!
- Yes? - Good luck. Toad.
Oh. Right! Thanks a lot.
[Muffled Yelling]
- Ha! - [Gasps]
If it isn't my sweetheart.
Would you like a cup of tea?
- Where's my kiss? - Kiss?
- I'll give you a thump. - But you always give me a kiss.
- You must be mad. - You're not quite yourself today. Are you. Granny?
[Laughs] On the contrary. I'm more myself than usual today.
- How's that? - Because when I'm really myself...
- Yes? - I give cheeky guards something special.
- And what is that? - My warmest regards.
- [Steam Hissing] - Aaah!
Oh. Cripes! Ooh!
Stop! Escaped... prisoner! Stop!
[Blubbering]
- Up there! - Up there? Stop! Stop!
[All Shouting]
[Guards Yelling Ferociously]
Stop right there! [Laughing]
You can't escape.
Oh! Nincompoops!
Ah. That is gross.
Disgusting. Ugh!
- Oh. Hello. You fellows. - [Alarm Blaring]
Come on!
[Alarm Continues]
[Rat] Why on earth did you insist on escaping on your own?
You don't think I'd stay there twiddling my thumbs...
while the weasels blow up Toad Hall. Do you?
No. No. Of course not.
[Train Whistle Blowing]
Three to Toad-in-the-World. First class.
First class is five and nine pence each. Granny.
Five and nine pence?
Oh-ho. That's nothing to me. I can assure you.
I've got it right here... in my...
pocket.
Do get a move on. Madam.
Look here. My man. Give me the tickets now and I'll send the money on tomorrow.
- Next. Please. - This is an emergency!
Excuse me. Madam.
- Look out! - Ah! The hounds of the law!
Save me. Ratty!
[Excited Chattering]
- I can't go in there. - [Scoffs]
- Look around! This way! - [Gasping]
- [Train Whistle Blowing] - [Groaning]
What are we going to do. Ratty?
I'll never see Toad Hall again except in a heap of rubble.
[Blows Nose] Oh. Oh. Oh!
I'm so sorry. Madam. I didn't see you there.
I'm a poor old tea lady who's lost all her money.
Unless I get back tonight. I'll lose my home as well.
- [Conductor] Oh, that's terrible. - [Sobbing]
A wicked landowner's blowing it up. [Sobbing]
Aw! I'll let you and your children ride in my cab.
- Children? - Ride in your cab?
Oh. Rather! Oh-ho!
- It's strictly against regulation. But... - [Train Whistle Toots]
- What... Hey. Hey! Hang on! - No room for you. Cod face!
- Cod face? - Toad!
- Toad? - Oh. Yipes! How does this thing work?
Don't touch anything. Wait!
Ho-ho. Faster. Faster! Make it go faster!
- Toad. You're supposed to be our mother. - Oh. Phooey.
Hey!
Why is that man waving at us?
Stop this train!
- Crikey. They're on the train. - Who's on the train?
Stop this train!
Hmm. I'd better see what they want.
No. Don't stop the train. Good. Kindhearted Mr. Engine driver.
You'd better tell me what's goin' on.
Alas. I'm not the simple tea lady I appear to be.
And we are certainly not his children.
I am a Toad. The well-known and popular Mr. Toad. A landed proprietor.
- And who are they? - My evil. Haughty tormenters...
who wish to drag me back to their loathsome dungeon.
Ajailbird. Eh?
All I did was borrow a motorcar.
- I don't hold with motorcars. - Neither do I.
- [Gunshot] - What's that?
They've no respect for public transport. That lot.
All they care about is motorcars.
Well. Nobody shoots at my engine!
Hey. Stop that!
Stop this train!
- [Gunshot] - [Clang]
Oh! That paint was brand new!
I'll show them.
I'll teach you to shoot at my train!
Ow!
- Ooh! - Ow! - Oh!
- Motorists! - Oh!
- [Conductor] Headlight flashers! - Look out!
I'll show you road lovers...
Hey! Hey! Hey! You bring back my train. You!
We've lost the driver.
Yippie! Hoo-hoo-hoo! I found it. I found it!
- What. The brake? - No. The accelerator.
- Yah! [Whooping] - Toad. No!
Leave it to me. I'll get 'em.
Ow!
- Ooh! - Keep me covered. Moley.
I can't throw for toffee.
Just throw it.
- Eighty miles an hour! - [Whistle Toots]
- Ow! - Sorry!
Eighty-four miles an hour. Eighty-five! I wonder if it'll go a hundred!
- Look out! - Drop that or I'll shoot.
- I wonder what that does. - I have given you the official warnin'!
- [Screaming] - [Screaming]
- It's the brake. - Toad!
- Mole. Come and give me a hand. - I can't!
Yes. You can. Mole.
Come on!
Ninety-one, ninety-two. Why won't it go any faster?
- [Screaming] - [Screaming]
Oh. Crikey. Uh... Wh-What should I do now?
Uh. Ratty...
- Uh... Uh... Oh! Uh... - Hang on. Mole.
Uh... Help!
[Groaning]
Oh-ho! Uh. Uh!
Now!
[Toad] Ninety-five, ninety-six!
It is going faster! Hooray!
Oh. Come on. Come on! Hee-hee!
I'm so sorry. Ratty.
You did your best. Moley.
[Toad] Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
I always mess things up.
All right, you two, hands up.
[Thud, Crash]
[Toad] One hundred and twenty miles an hour!
Hooray! This is fantastic. Ratty!
Ratty? Ratty? Ratty. Where are you?
Ratty? Oh! Oh!
[Loud Crash]
Pooh. Pooh.
d Oh. Nobody knew how to catch him d
d So clever and nimble-toed d
d They couldn't snitch or snatch him d
d That elusive Mr. Toad dd
Right. We'd better go and find Badger.
That way...
Moley? Mole.
Mole!
Moley.
I'm not brave like you. Ratty...
or strong and fierce like Badger.
You are very brave. Moley.
I'm just a spineless nobody.
- You don't want someone like me as a friend. - Moley.
I'm going home. Ratty. I'm sorry.
Moley!
Oh! Ouch! Bother.
Oooh!
- Going home. Are we. Toad? - Yes.
Better hurry. I'll be setting soon.
How far is it to Toad Hall?
Oh. A long way yet.
[Groaning]
Yes. I can see everything from up here.
That's the great thing about being... the sun. [Chuckling]
Can you see what those weasels are up to?
They're putting the dynamite into Toad Hall.
Dynamite.
Ohh. I'm beginning to set.
[Sobbing] All is lost. Wretched Toad.
Shouldn't have gone around stealing motorcars.
- Didn't. - Did.
- Didn't! - I saw it all! Did.
- Oh. Go away! - Not until it's time.
[Car Horn Honking]
Ha-ha! Toad's luck holds again.
I'll spin up one of my highly sophisticated yarns.
[Honking]
- [Honking Continues] - [Brakes Squealing]
[Groans] Help.
I'm a poor old tea lady who can't...
Oh. Yipes! It's you lot.
Toad. What are you doing out of jail?
Hmph! I escaped by great daring and cleverness.
And I demand you hand back Toad Hall immediately.
- Of course. It's all yours. - Oh.
We were just looking after it for you. Toady. While you were in jail.
- Oh. Thanks. - Toad?
- Yes? - Why are you dressed like this?
Oh. Master of disguise. Fooled everyone.
You're a clever one and no mistake, Toad.
Yes. Drove a train. Just like that.
Did you? Well. We've got a new motor we'd like you to... test for us.
A new motor? Oh. Rather!
- It's got a motor. - Sort of experimental. Is it?
- That's it. - Oh. Yipes!
[Toad] Pooh, pooh!
Badger?
Yesterday. Mole End.
Tomorrow. Toad Hall.
Today they're in the wildwood.
No.
No. I can't have that.
Oh. No.
Oh. Funny-looking motor. How's it work?
Let me show you. Toad.
This motor drives... this wheel here.
That turns the axle attached to which...
are these blades here.
- Oh. Yes. I see. - They rotate...
and the screw squeezes the raw material through those holes.
Oh. Sort of mincing machine. Is it?
Smart fellow.
Yes. Always was quick on the uptake.
But tell me. Where do I fit in?
- [Weasels Laughing] - [Wheezing]
[Chattering, Shouting]
dd [Drunken Singing]
dd [Singing Continues]
- They're all drunk. - Good.
Then they won't be expecting anyone.
You stay here.
[Thuds]
I say. Badger.
[Shouting, Cheering]
Hang on a sec. Badger.
What on earth are you doing there?
Just confusing the weasels.
Tried to be like you. Ratty...
but I'm not.
I belong here. Underground.
Tea... time.
I'm so sorry. Ratty.
My dear friend.
[Burps]
You're missin' the party.
- [Badger] Evening, friend. - Funny-lookin' weasels.
- Eeeh! - Ow!
Here. You're no weasels at all.
Who are they then?
Oh. Dear. You can get that off with a little bit of salt.
- Let's find the Chief Weasel. - He's right behind you.
What under earth?
"Dog food factory."
They destroyed my home...
to build a dog food factory.
Move it!
Come on. Get in.
Oh.
Dog food factory.
No! This is... Help!
You wanted to see how the mincer works. Toad. From the inside.
- [Toad Whimpering] - Fly eater!
- Put me down! - Pond lover!
Oh! Put me down! Stop!
Oh! Put me down! Please!
- Oh. No! Stop! - Oh!
Oh! Oh-ho!
- Put me down! Oh! - [Shouting]
[Whimpering]
Wait!
I've got a better recipe.
Put 'em all in together.
Ooh-la-la! Tres haute cuisine.
Shut up!
You know. You've convinced me.
I'm not going to blow up Toad Hall tomorrow after all.
I'm gonna blow it up tonight!
Make 'em into sausages and slice 'em up!
[Toad Whimpering]
Oh. Help! Help! Save me!
[Toad] Oh! Stop it! Stop all this now! I insist!
Uh! Oh! Uh!
[Gagging]
[Screaming]
[Cheering]
[Toad Whimpering]
It's out of order? I don't know. Down!
Help me. Ooh! [Whimpering]
Oh. It's... [Disgusted Groan]
Oh.
- Better put that down before someone gets hurt. Moley. - I-I-I'll shoot.
But you've only got one shot.
Give me the gun... and we'll all be friends.
Friends? I thought you said there was no such thing.
Oh. Come on! That was just an intro to a song.
- [Cocks Gun] - You destroyed my home to build a dog meat factory.
The area needs one. Our market research shows...
- You put my friends in a mincer! - Just a harmless joke.
- Steady on. [Stammering] - [Badger Laughing]
I say. Badger!
I'm not really a weasel. I'm a rabbit.
They forced me to work here. And you saved me.
- Oh. Thank you. Thank you! - Shut up. Keep moving.
"Auto." Oh. Good. We can drive home.
No! Don't touch anything!
[Alarm Blaring]
- Hmm? - [Clanging]
[Screaming]
[Cheering, Shouting]
Quiet!
- Shh! - Shh!
The chief has an announcement to make.
Yes. Quiet! The chief has an announcement to make.
- Shut up. Geoffrey! - Gentlemen!
Fellow members of Weasel Development Limited.
The dog food factory is in production...
as from a few moments ago!
[Cheering]
The demolition ofToad Hall...
has been brought forward to tonight!
[Cheering]
In its place...
we will build a slaughterhouse...
capable of processing all forms of river-dwelling life.
[Cheering]
Oh. Settle down!
In exactly 15 minutes...
Toad Hall will be...
- history! - [Cheering]
- [Badger] You imbecile. Toad! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
I am never going to try to help you ever again!
Call Mummy Weasel. I'm going to get minced!
[Cheering. Shouting]
I'm blowing up this place in ten minutes...
whether or not you lot are out of it!
Chief. Wait!
The boys have got a little... surprise for you.
Surprise? It can wait ten minutes.
No. No. No. We think you'd like it now.
[Toad Whimpering] Help! Somebody!
Oh. Dear. Oh. Dear. I can't throw for toffee.
Moley. Did you do that?
Yes. Rat.
[All Chattering]
- Happy birthday, Chief. - d For he's a jolly good weasel d
[All] d For he's a jolly good weasel d
d And so say all of us dd
Three cheers for the chief! Hip-hip!
Hooray!
How did you know it was my birthday?
Aren't you going to blow them out?
Too bad you couldn't stick around...
'cause I'm in charge now.
[Laughing]
- No. No. No. I'm in charge now. - What?
- Grab 'em. Boys! - [Shouting]
You devious...
Too bad none of you could stick around!
- Did you let them in here? - Of course I didn't.
Yes. You did.
- Oh. No. I didn't. - Bother.
Didn't.
[Laughing]
Aaaah!
d It's a pleasure to have you here Mr. Badger d
d So good of you to ask me. Mr. Toad d
d And as for dear Mole I'm so glad you left your hole d
d And came to join you here in your abode d
d We were born on the same riverbank d
d What's mine is yours is his d
d Raised where the willows slip into the water d
d We get along like cheese and porter d
d Every morn we each give a thank d
d For friends is what we is d
- dd [Continues Faintly] - You've got it comin' to you.
You garbage!
d Helping each other like friends all ought to d
dd [Continues Quietly]
Uh. Toad.
You do the countdown.
Why. You... you. You. You weasel!
Come on, Toad. You can count down from ten, surely!
Ten. Nine... Where are you. Toad?
I'll have to do it myself.
Eight. Seven. Six...
Toad, can you hear?
Five... Only four to go.
Then it's good-bye to Toad Hall.
Four... Now what comes after four?
Oh. I know! Three. Two. One!
Aaah!
- [Toad Gasping] - Blowing up Toad Hall is only the beginning.
You won't recognize this dump when I'm finished!
- But why? Why destroy this beautiful place? - Why?
Because it will make me extremely rich.
- Aah! Aah! - Ow!
[Screaming]
Sorry you couldn't stick round for the fireworks.
Badger! Ratty! Mole!
d Every morn we each give a thank d
d That friends is what we is dd
Ratty! Moley! Get out!
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Oh. My friends.
It's all my fault.
Badger. Ratty...
dear Mole.
[Sobbing] All my fault.
[Running Footsteps]
[Badger] What the devil was that?
Well. looks as if we certainly confused those weasels.
You mean... you swapped the...
And they put the explosives in the dog meat factory.
And then... Oh. You clever old Ratty.
Oh, you did well, Rat.
- [Laughing] Oh. Boy! - [Laughing]
And so Toad Hall was saved...
by my daring and cleverness.
I shall now narrate how I escaped from jail. Stole a train...
and single-handedly defeated the weasels' plans...
to destroy the riverbank.
- [Applause On Gramophone] - Thank you.
But first. A little song.
Oh. No. You don't.
- Oh. Hello. You chaps. - Toad. What are these?
- Oh. My invitation cards. Something... - They're disgraceful.
"Program of entertainment: Speech by Toad;
"song by Senor Enrico Toado;
"conjuring tricks. The Great Toadini;
juggling. The Amazing Toadisto!"
Now. Iook here. Toad. Understand there are to be no speeches and no songs.
May I sing just one little one?
- Toady. You know your songs are just full of self-praise and... - Gas.
You've got to turn over a new leaf.
For all our sakes.
My friends. I am a proud and stupid Toad.
Henceforth, I will be very different.
No more boasting. No more fads.
I know now there's more to life than motorcars.
I certainly hope so.
[Together] Sing us a song. Mr. Toad.
- [Crowd Murmuring] - No. No more songs.
- Oh. Go on. Mr. Toad. - Shh!
Well. Maybe just one little one.
- [Crowd Murmuring] - No. Toad!
Come on. And you. Moley.
d We were born on the same riverbank d
d What's mine is yours is his d
d Raised where the willows creep into the water d
d We get along like cheese and porter d
d Every morn we each give a thank d
d For friends is what we is d
d We have sworn by the same riverbank d
d What's mine is yours is his d
dd [Continues Faintly]
Ah. Mr. Toad.
I'm afraid I could only get you the one.
d Every morn we each give a thank d
d For friends is d
d What we is dd
- [Applause] - [Airplane Approaching]
- [Crowd Exclaiming] - It's Toad!
[Laughs] Hello. You chaps!
Ooh. Sorry. You rabbits.
That's the last time I ever try...
to help that. That...
- Pooh! Pooh! - d Ooh, ooh, miracle d
d Ooh, ooh, miracle d
[Man] d You know his name and he's conceited d
d Drives the wrong side of the road d
d From his brains down to his feet it's clear d
- d He's just a foolish Toad d - Whoo-hoo!
- d Even though you know the games he's playin' d - Careful, Toad.
- d And he'll drive you round the bend d - [Engine Sputtering]
d Somewhere deep inside a voice keeps sayin' d
d He's a friend d
d There's a candle in the darkness burning bright d
d Ooh, ooh Candle burning bright d
d A fireside welcome in the stormy night d
d Ooh, ooh In the stormy night d
d Thats's the way the story ends d
d It's the miracle of friends d
d There's a candle in the darkness burning bright d
d Ooh, ooh, miracle d
d In the world so full of strangers d
- d Everybody needs a friend d - [Toad Hooting]
d Someone to help you through the dangers d
d Wait around the bend d
d Even when the dark is all around you d
d Not a star up in the sky d
d Wait until the light of friendship's found you d
d You'll get by d
d There's a candle in the darkness burning bright d
d Ooh, ooh Candle burning bright d
d A fireside welcome in the stormy night d
d Ooh, ooh In the stormy night d
d That's the way the story ends d
d It's the miracle of friends d
d There's a candle in the darkness burning bright d
d Ooh, ooh, miracle d
d Ooh, ooh, miracle dd
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