1
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:39,860
各位鬼大哥

2
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,790
我现在烧点零用钱给你们用

3
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,030
不要客气，尽管拿去花

4
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,660
我见过的人很多

5
00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:48,600
我还从来没见过

6
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:50,730
像你这么婆婆妈妈的男人

7
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:51,740
什么叫婆婆妈妈？

8
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:52,740
今天是七月半

9
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,570
所以烧点零用钱给那些鬼用

10
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,340
做人没钱已经够糗了

11
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:57,780
做鬼没钱那不是更惨吗？

12
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:06,410
一张就是五千万

13
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,550
这些钱加起来

14
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:09,420
连王永庆都比不上

15
00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:12,050
做鬼比做人好，我宁愿去做鬼

16
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,630
你别急，很快就轮到你了

17
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,700
上面叫我们到坑口去查案

18
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,640
闸门打开了

19
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:25,730
一大群马一字排开冲了出来

20
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,140
三号大力士领先了

21
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,180
它领先了半个马头

22
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,340
大力士一路领先了

23
00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:30,970
加点油，跑快点

24
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,480
第一名一定跑不掉了

25
00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:35,250
加点油，这次我赢定了

26
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,520
第三名是六号的龙腾虎跃

27
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,650
大力士反而到了第四名

28
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,460
妈的，这匹烂马总是后劲不足

29
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,490
干脆跳楼算了

30
00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:45,360
你每次都说要跳楼

31
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,450
你怎么老没摔死呀？

32
00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:57,530
没什么状况，走吧

33
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,300
依据警长刚讲的

34
00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:02,110
没状况并不表示没问题

35
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,150
闭上你的乌鸦嘴好不好？

36
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:05,770
快点，我女儿等我回去吃饭的

37
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,270
少来了，你还不是想去见女朋友

38
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:09,580
关你什么事！

39
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:11,950
你不走我走，你干脆走路回去

40
00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:12,990
没几条街就到了

41
00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:40,910
干什么的？

42
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:48,750
不许动，警察

43
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:03,400
不许动

44
00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:12,080
还跑

45
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:24,020
你别想跑

46
00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:24,920
别动

47
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,260
如果你再动

48
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,330
当心我一枪打烂你的头

49
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:34,430
你糗大了

50
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,870
你这死老鬼

51
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,270
你好臭

52
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,080
这叫有味道

53
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:48,550
看不到我的样子就闻到我的香味了

54
00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:57,760
手脚俐落点

55
00:03:57,860 --> 00:03:58,590
是

56
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,930
不行，要是真在货仓找到什么证据

57
00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:03,090
他一个人搞得定吗？

58
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:05,970
我还是回去看一看

59
00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:18,240
阿标

60
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:22,620
寿西斯古

61
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,510
马可斯

62
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:27,080
难道说我已经死了

63
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:31,090
赌鬼警察借高利贷无法偿还

64
00:04:31,190 --> 00:04:32,220
只有自杀

65
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,390
这写得不对

66
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,590
我是追查贩毒集团被人谋杀的

67
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,500
你知不知道是谁杀了你？

68
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,160
我没看清楚他的样子

69
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:41,830
那你愿不愿意承认是自杀呢？

70
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,470
我不承认

71
00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:45,300
那就死因不明了

72
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:45,900
大人

73
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,030
能不能让我回去重新调查一下？

74
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,340
你以为这里是宾馆？可以随便出入

75
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,280
大人，你我都是公务员

76
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,010
能不能给我行个方便？

77
00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:58,250
方便？那就要看你懂不懂规矩了

78
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,450
规矩？

79
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,460
这合用吗？

80
00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:07,760
合用

81
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:08,330
我走了

82
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:11,330
慢点，你回去有两件事情要记着

83
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,460
如果有这种痣的，就是你的救星

84
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,530
如果是这样的，就是你的剋星

85
00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:19,430
还有，这是私人的礼物

86
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:20,430
干什么？

87
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,070
里面有很多符咒你用得着的

88
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:23,940
符咒？我怎么找救星？

89
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:26,280
你是警察，当然是回警察局去找

90
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:27,210
警察局？

91
00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:51,400
坐好，几号房？

92
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,310
一号

93
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,010
一号

94
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:11,720
二号

95
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,100
三号

96
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:43,890
玩个游戏

97
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:49,430
牌子给我

98
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:52,830
猜中就是你的

99
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:54,430
看清楚

100
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,380
再玩一次

101
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:07,510
教官来了

102
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:36,100
你真行

103
00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:39,640
不过没有用，我来分

104
00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:52,720
一号

105
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:53,760
二号

106
00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:54,960
三号

107
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:01,840
不要了

108
00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:04,670
进来，不要怕

109
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,870
过去

110
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,180
把裤子脱掉

111
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:13,810
快一点

112
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:15,880
等一下

113
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:25,920
你干什么？

114
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,050
挡一下嘛

115
00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:28,920
挡得住吗？

116
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,730
挡得住

117
00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:32,230
我看到了

118
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,320
他们看不到嘛

119
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:34,640
转过身去

120
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:43,540
这臭小子是我的救星

121
00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:44,880
趴下

122
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,050
趴下干什么？

123
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:48,740
给你做深入检查，趴下

124
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,380
深入检查

125
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,650
快点

126
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:52,310
趴下

127
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,320
我的救星，天知道谁救谁？

128
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,410
不要

129
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,390
快点趴下，深入检查

130
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,260
趴下

131
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,640
小姐，你最好跟我们合作点

132
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,440
我不是跟你很合作吗？

133
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:16,770
谁叫你在那边坐台的？

134
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,750
坐台？什么叫坐台，警官？

135
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,180
少耍花样了，死丫头

136
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,580
谁跟你耍花样？

137
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,380
是你叫我坐在这里的

138
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:25,240
你还敢顶嘴？

139
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,420
我哪敢乱顶

140
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:28,460
还说没顶

141
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:32,250
有病啊！只有你能顶我

142
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,160
我哪敢乱顶你呀

143
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:41,660
早

144
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:43,800
长官

145
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:47,970
长官

146
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,940
打扰你一下，你好吗？

147
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,090
有人在家吗？

148
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:58,320
对不起

149
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,550
怎么是你啊？

150
00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:06,530
是我呀

151
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:07,620
你是谁？

152
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,500
警员1997今天来报到

153
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,260
总部怎么会派这种人来

154
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:29,780
你干什么？

155
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:30,940
你老爸在叫你

156
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,280
是你老爸

157
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,520
这个人因为好赌惹上高利贷没钱还

158
00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:36,890
开枪跳楼自杀身亡，还你老爸咧

159
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,290
对不起，真不好意思

160
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:39,290
少啰唆，跟我来

161
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,030
来这儿干嘛？

162
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:51,870
你说呢？

163
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,540
好

164
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,870
警官，小便啊？

165
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:57,710
你猜？

166
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:04,750
抬脚，抬脚呀

167
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,010
干什么？

168
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:08,480
脚拿开

169
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:09,390
你怎么搞的？大婶

170
00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:11,320
这是男厕所，你进来干什么？

171
00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:12,920
你问我进来干什么

172
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:14,690
我拖了十几年的地了

173
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,530
你当我是来参观的

174
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:20,630
真是的，什么大鸟小鸟我没见过

175
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:25,170
真丢人

176
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:28,500
你侮辱我呀你？

177
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,200
警官，你就别跟她斗嘴了

178
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,510
要是把她惹毛了，你担不起的

179
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,140
她是什么人啊？

180
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,720
人间硕果仅存千岁的老处女了

181
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,840
你要是把她的欲火挑起来

182
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,390
我们全警局的人都不够看

183
00:11:42,230 --> 00:11:42,990
你行不行？

184
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:50,730
324，325，326，32

185
00:11:54,970 --> 00:12:01,210
327，328，329，330，33

186
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:02,370
大美人

187
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,240
300.我数了多少

188
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,180
332

189
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:08,380
谢谢你

190
00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:09,550
332

191
00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:12,140
关你个屁事呀，把门关上

192
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:17,990
你们两个进来干什么？

193
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,060
没什么，我带他进来领枪的

194
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:20,820
过来

195
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,530
编号多少？

196
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,460
一九九七

197
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,570
在这里签个名

198
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,030
你是刚来的

199
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:53,100
我给你一个简单的任务

200
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,260
我已经派了两个女警员

201
00:12:55,370 --> 00:12:57,060
在一家按摩院中做卧底

202
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:58,690
你上去跟她们联络

203
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,890
等到时机到了，你就表露身分

204
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,670
把他们一网打尽，就这么简单

205
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:03,430
这还简单？

206
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,170
废话，复杂的找你做吗？

207
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,600
卧底是谁？

208
00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:11,080
那两个卧底的女警她们穿着洞洞袜

209
00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:12,370
你到上面只要跟她们说出了

210
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,640
这次行动的暗号之后

211
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,510
她们就会接应你

212
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,140
什么暗号？

213
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,540
（从今开始）

214
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:18,750
那你呢？

215
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,320
我在这里控制整个行动的进行

216
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:21,480
随时支援你们

217
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:22,850
就这么决定了，快上去吧

218
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:27,620
先睡一觉吧

219
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:44,470
老板，怎么样？要找小姐？

220
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:45,840
这边请

221
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:46,710
你请

222
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,280
我们的小姐都是一流的

223
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:49,650
您慢慢看

224
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:51,040
谢谢

225
00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:53,780
这儿挑不到的话，香港就没女人了

226
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,620
您尽管挑

227
00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,860
我想先看看她们的腿

228
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,790
样子是不要紧，不过这

229
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:02,420
女人的腿要美才行

230
00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:03,120
可以

231
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,170
来.小姐，把裙子拉高一点

232
00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:07,240
让老板看一看，拉高一点

233
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:12,810
怎么样？

234
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,610
不错

235
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,410
那您看上哪一个了？

236
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:18,940
全要

237
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,970
全要？

238
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,380
不行吗？

239
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:26,920
可以“.都起来”.一起玩个愉快

240
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:30,990
快走啦

241
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,090
别猴急嘛

242
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,790
一次要六个，真他妈凯子爹

243
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,770
你搞什么鬼？弄这么久还没弄好

244
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:43,030
这双网袜弄得我好痒，烦死人了

245
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,270
怎么她们都不见了？

246
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:48,500
这样不是更好吗？

247
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:49,480
上来接应我们的那个家伙

248
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:50,770
一定不会认错人的

249
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,910
慢着.不要这么冲动嘛

250
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,810
等一下，听我说一句很重要的话

251
00:14:58,990 --> 00:14:59,890
（从今开始）

252
00:14:59,990 --> 00:15:01,150
从今开始

253
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,780
香港已对越南船民实施新政策

254
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:06,860
从此以后，凡因经济问题

255
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,260
以船民身份进入香港者

256
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,490
将被视作非法入境者

257
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,900
好棒

258
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,930
不过你们都没有搞懂我的意思

259
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,160
我们懂，我们都是从越南来的

260
00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:20,580
对不起，我走错地方了

261
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:21,930
不好意思

262
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:24,400
老大，你不要冲动

263
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:25,610
瞧了就走

264
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,940
就是嘛

265
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:29,640
臭小子，想干什么？

266
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,240
其实我是个大专学生

267
00:15:31,350 --> 00:15:33,020
想做个问卷调查

268
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,060
是关于野鸡.不，就是妓女

269
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,250
学生，哪一系？

270
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,490
毛毛系

271
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:39,160
毛毛系？

272
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:40,250
鸳鸯毛毛系

273
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:46,000
也就是那一种

274
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,460
你会懂的啦，告辞了

275
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:51,910
学生证呢？

276
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,600
学生证又不是身分证

277
00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:55,570
不需要随身携带的

278
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,470
你没听过吗？

279
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:59,710
学生？我们才是真正的学生

280
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,780
这是学生证

281
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:04,550
是吗？你哪一系的？

282
00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:08,150
大专社会学系，在黑社会兼差

283
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:09,190
半工半读

284
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,630
真是令人佩服，继续努力

285
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,660
连警察你也敢非礼？

286
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,910
警察？你敢消谴我？把她们带过来

287
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:32,940
走啊，肥婆，走啊

288
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:37,080
你们好大的胆子，敢砸我地盘？

289
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:39,410
（从今开始）

290
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:42,180
你们怎么这么晚才来？

291
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:43,260
不算晚了

292
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,000
全部趴下，我是警察

293
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,900
你干嘛玩枪？你还在念书

294
00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:59,410
很危险你知不知道？

295
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,170
还给我，你好乖

296
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,410
住手

297
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,910
叫你住手，你这呆子你想害死我

298
00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,090
臭小子，我告诉你

299
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:19,090
现在我不想打烂你的头

300
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,360
我要打烂你的嘴

301
00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:26,330
好脏啊

302
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,390
大佬，打爆他的头

303
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,470
我只不过是唬唬你就吓成这样

304
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:35,370
要是玩真的话不是要尿一裤子吗？

305
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,480
救命呀

306
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,280
不要闹了

307
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:42,110
这小子真是个孬种

308
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,010
不要

309
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,270
什么事

310
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:11,550
都搞定了？

311
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:13,470
搞定了

312
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:21,360
你这只猫真坏，又在神台上拉屎

313
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:24,160
好臭呀

314
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,130
对不起，祖师爷

315
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,400
弟子有请茅山祖师附身授法

316
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:51,010
有请老祖师大显威灵

317
00:18:58,290 --> 00:19:00,790
手长脚长，样样都可以长

318
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,190
孽畜

319
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800
蟑螂擒拿手，孽畜，你还想跑

320
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,750
对不起，祖师爷，我家太脏了

321
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:26,680
糟了，桃花劫

322
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,220
不行

323
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:30,790
阿玉，先不要走

324
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:34,020
爸，什么事呀？

325
00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:38,400
你啊双脸泛红，眼冒春水，犯桃花

326
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,660
碰到男人可要当心点

327
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:42,640
干嘛要我当心男人？

328
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,410
怕遭报应呀

329
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,270
爸，你又干了什么好事了？

330
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,440
少管这么多，反正当心就是了

331
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:51,140
好了，你不用担心

332
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:52,610
我走了，拜拜

333
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:54,040
早点回来

334
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:54,910
知道了

335
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,820
自作孽，平常老爱玩别人的女儿

336
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,690
现在自己女儿长这么大了

337
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:03,490
可别报应在阿玉身上那就惨了

338
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:08,990
出去了？

339
00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:19,470
穿这么长的裙子

340
00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:40,990
搞什么？

341
00:21:43,190 --> 00:21:44,180
狗窝似的

342
00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:53,060
这么脏怎么能住人呢？真是

343
00:22:23,570 --> 00:22:24,660
怎么又是你？

344
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:27,360
怎么会把个死人宿舍给我？

345
00:22:42,950 --> 00:22:44,210
你别太过分

346
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,060
消防队.不是，警察

347
00:22:58,370 --> 00:22:59,700
挺神气的

348
00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:05,600
你会.说话

349
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,580
警察，编号1997

350
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,010
你最好不要说话

351
00:23:11,110 --> 00:23:13,140
你有权不说话

352
00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,950
你所要说的话将来会作为呈堂证供

353
00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:25,890
请问大门在哪里？

354
00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:29,190
谢谢

355
00:23:39,780 --> 00:23:40,830
我调头跑

356
00:24:05,130 --> 00:24:06,800
我不行了，我慢慢走

357
00:24:22,180 --> 00:24:25,210
我一定是在做梦，还是白日梦

358
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,260
我有病，我是神经病了

359
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:32,260
我一定是神经病，我有神经病了

360
00:24:38,970 --> 00:24:42,270
不要玩了嘛

361
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,800
我说我不要玩，我要回家

362
00:24:47,740 --> 00:24:48,800
你走不掉的

363
00:24:49,180 --> 00:24:50,370
我重新再走一遍

364
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,590
我说过，你走不掉的，自讨苦吃

365
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,030
现在你相信我了？

366
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:14,330
相信

367
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:19,830
有什么好笑的？

368
00:25:21,110 --> 00:25:22,630
我是在害怕

369
00:25:23,010 --> 00:25:24,480
刚才你还没怕够呀？

370
00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:26,700
我这个人就是这样子

371
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:30,180
你不要管我，有话你就说嘛

372
00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:32,580
好，我告诉你

373
00:25:32,690 --> 00:25:35,120
我有一个剋星，还有一个救星

374
00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:36,850
因为你的屁股长了梅花痣

375
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,190
所以你是我的救星

376
00:25:38,290 --> 00:25:39,520
剋星还没找到呢

377
00:25:40,260 --> 00:25:42,700
我干嘛那么倒霉要当你的救星

378
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,490
我怎么知道呢？是上面说的

379
00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:48,330
不要啦，我求求你

380
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,560
我又不认识你，你不要整我了

381
00:25:50,670 --> 00:25:52,160
不是我想要整你

382
00:25:52,270 --> 00:25:54,210
是上面要整我们两个

383
00:25:55,940 --> 00:25:57,470
你以为你真的很了不起呀

384
00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:59,880
在按摩院里面可以一个打九个呀

385
00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:01,640
你以为你可以一口气

386
00:26:01,750 --> 00:26:03,740
把那个女孩子的裙子给吹起来呀

387
00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:05,520
原来是你

388
00:26:05,620 --> 00:26:07,650
是我，这样好了

389
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,490
我可以帮你泡那个妞

390
00:26:09,590 --> 00:26:11,420
你帮我的忙，怎么样？

391
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:15,820
不行呀，我不行的啦

392
00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:16,520
你是不肯啊？

393
00:26:16,630 --> 00:26:18,260
不行的啦

394
00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,100
你真的不肯？

395
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,230
不要了

396
00:26:20,340 --> 00:26:21,730
好，那走着瞧

397
00:26:26,510 --> 00:26:27,870
有鬼呀

398
00:26:29,410 --> 00:26:30,570
长官

399
00:26:31,180 --> 00:26:32,200
没事

400
00:26:32,310 --> 00:26:33,210
神经病

401
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:35,780
你相不相信有鬼啊？

402
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,350
相信，是有鬼呀

403
00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:38,910
那你有没有见过鬼呢？

404
00:26:39,020 --> 00:26:40,250
没有

405
00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:42,850
不知道见鬼是好还是不好？

406
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,890
如果他肯帮你，你就发了

407
00:26:44,990 --> 00:26:45,520
是吗？

408
00:26:45,630 --> 00:26:46,650
是呀

409
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,060
如果不肯呢？

410
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,790
不帮你就糗了

411
00:26:50,130 --> 00:26:51,190
糗了？

412
00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:52,900
干什么？你见鬼了？

413
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,370
那你糗大了

414
00:26:54,470 --> 00:26:56,800
没有，我好得很，我正在走运

415
00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:58,810
我长这么大，从来都没糗过

416
00:26:58,910 --> 00:26:59,670
是哟

417
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,470
干什么？

418
00:27:05,010 --> 00:27:06,240
踩到钉子了

419
00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:09,010
还好没扎到肉，这不能算糗啊

420
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,920
这样还不糗啊？

421
00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:21,290
回去吧，不要看了

422
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,100
什么事？

423
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,930
那个越南男子不肯下来

424
00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:26,100
有没有通知上面的？

425
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,360
还没有到

426
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,000
我刚才没有事

427
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:30,700
严格说起来也不是很糗

428
00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:32,270
好了“.不糗”.干活了

429
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,000
你先上去，我马上来

430
00:27:35,110 --> 00:27:35,910
他在上面

431
00:27:37,150 --> 00:27:38,310
师兄

432
00:27:38,710 --> 00:27:40,810
也没什么，我是想问问你

433
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,610
这一辈子当中，有没有试过

434
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:45,480
见鬼

435
00:27:45,590 --> 00:27:46,710
见鬼？

436
00:27:46,820 --> 00:27:48,850
没有，怎么回事？

437
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,020
你见到鬼了？是不是？

438
00:27:50,130 --> 00:27:51,020
不是

439
00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:52,990
是谁？是谁乱丢垃圾？

440
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,800
你还真糗啊，有没有怎样？

441
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,490
没有.干活去

442
00:27:57,970 --> 00:27:59,400
这位先生，你千万不要想不开

443
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:00,490
什么事情都可以商量嘛

444
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,630
还有什么好说的

445
00:28:02,740 --> 00:28:04,930
我是非死不可

446
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,560
老兄

447
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,770
你不要上来

448
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,280
老兄，你安静一点，慢慢来

449
00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:13,010
你要再过来，我就真的跳下去了

450
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,610
老兄，你听我说嘛

451
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,210
听我说，老兄

452
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,220
老兄，你不要这么傻嘛

453
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,720
你想想看，当年你从越南

454
00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:22,310
离乡背井投奔怒海

455
00:28:22,420 --> 00:28:24,090
千山万水惊涛骇浪的

456
00:28:24,190 --> 00:28:25,180
好不容易到这个地方来了

457
00:28:25,290 --> 00:28:26,160
为的是什么呢？

458
00:28:26,260 --> 00:28:29,030
还不是为了争自由爱自由吗？

459
00:28:29,130 --> 00:28:30,500
你有没有听说过一句话

460
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,530
生命诚可贵，自由价更高

461
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,070
我没有听过，你不要再说了

462
00:28:37,570 --> 00:28:41,300
你们香港人猫哭耗子假慈悲

463
00:28:41,710 --> 00:28:42,900
我们越南人

464
00:28:43,010 --> 00:28:45,450
每一个都千辛万苦来到香港

465
00:28:45,550 --> 00:28:46,950
你们也太不人道了

466
00:28:47,050 --> 00:28:49,210
还要把我们给送回去

467
00:28:49,950 --> 00:28:51,610
你知不知道我们回去就死定了

468
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:52,650
反正都是要死

469
00:28:52,750 --> 00:28:54,120
不如从这儿跳下去算了

470
00:28:54,220 --> 00:28:55,990
老兄，说不定你不会谴返

471
00:28:56,090 --> 00:28:57,020
在上面谈判

472
00:28:57,130 --> 00:28:59,690
你没有看报纸吗？柴玲都去了法国

473
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,090
候德建又回到台北去

474
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,530
还上电视，他们风光的

475
00:29:03,630 --> 00:29:04,330
打扰你一下

476
00:29:04,430 --> 00:29:04,960
你上来干什么？

477
00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:05,970
我是想聊我们跟他

478
00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:08,660
他们不同啊，全世界支持他们

479
00:29:08,770 --> 00:29:11,530
我们是越南人，说谴返就谴返

480
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,310
这是逼我们走绝路嘛

481
00:29:13,410 --> 00:29:14,740
你自己先考虑一下，你还有什么话

482
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:15,740
我是想问你

483
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,070
没什么好考虑的

484
00:29:17,180 --> 00:29:18,740
你考虑一下我刚刚说的话

485
00:29:18,850 --> 00:29:19,780
再打扰你一会

486
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,410
我想问你如果那鬼想整你

487
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,280
而你又不想理他

488
00:29:22,380 --> 00:29:23,510
你说你会不会死得很难看？

489
00:29:23,620 --> 00:29:24,710
就是你们不理我们

490
00:29:24,820 --> 00:29:25,720
如果你们照顾我们

491
00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:27,650
我们也不会走上这条路呀

492
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,720
你他妈的不要到来

493
00:29:29,990 --> 00:29:30,620
想要死就快

494
00:29:30,730 --> 00:29:31,950
妨碍我们谈正经的事情

495
00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:33,550
来到这里吃我们的住我们的

496
00:29:33,660 --> 00:29:34,750
还在这里吵什么

497
00:29:34,860 --> 00:29:36,690
你以为你很了不起呀

498
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,560
带种的话你他妈的给我跳下去

499
00:29:38,670 --> 00:29:39,220
你是神经病

500
00:29:39,330 --> 00:29:40,200
是你叫我跳的，我就真的跳了

501
00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:42,400
你不要跳，帮我拉着他

502
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,440
不要让他跳下去，拉着他

503
00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:46,170
我把你推下去

504
00:29:48,510 --> 00:29:49,640
阿星

505
00:29:51,550 --> 00:29:52,950
你还赖着干什么？快起来

506
00:29:53,050 --> 00:29:55,240
有没有事呀？阿星，有没有事？

507
00:29:55,350 --> 00:29:55,870
我真的糗了

508
00:29:58,650 --> 00:30:01,090
大叔，我认输了，你出来一下吧

509
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:04,350
你昨天跟我谈的那件事

510
00:30:04,460 --> 00:30:05,620
可以商量嘛

511
00:30:06,060 --> 00:30:07,530
你现在肯答应了？

512
00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:08,890
是你求我的

513
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,690
没有我，你一定会很糗

514
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,900
从现在开始，我们正式合作

515
00:30:18,010 --> 00:30:21,070
我除了帮你泡妞，还帮你升职立功

516
00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:23,610
这可是你说的

517
00:30:24,350 --> 00:30:25,940
你到底要我帮你做什么？

518
00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:27,710
这个很简单

519
00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:30,750
你先帮我查出杀我的凶手是谁

520
00:30:30,850 --> 00:30:31,880
然后帮我报仇

521
00:30:31,990 --> 00:30:33,580
因为只有你可以对付他

522
00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:36,320
这件事可不简单啊

523
00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,060
怎么？你想反悔？

524
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,390
不会，我是想谈另外一件事

525
00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:42,260
哪一件事？

526
00:30:43,230 --> 00:30:45,390
妞没泡到，你叫我怎么相信你呢

527
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,200
你的鬼心眼我早就知道

528
00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:50,630
我还有一个要求

529
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:52,930
你可不可以让我碰你一下？

530
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,030
可以

531
00:30:55,310 --> 00:30:58,910
我从来都没有碰过鬼，我好紧张

532
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,850
也不过如此嘛

533
00:31:05,950 --> 00:31:06,780
该我了？

534
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,020
来啊

535
00:31:12,090 --> 00:31:13,290
那支灯打亮一点

536
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,190
知道了

537
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:15,720
太亮了，少一点

538
00:31:15,830 --> 00:31:17,320
好，这样呢？

539
00:31:17,430 --> 00:31:18,590
好了，OK

540
00:31:19,870 --> 00:31:22,200
请吃母牛牌巧克力

541
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:26,370
母牛牌巧克力，又香又甜又好吃

542
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,530
Cut，摄影机有没有问题？

543
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,110
没问题

544
00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:30,370
好，OK

545
00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:33,040
用看的就行了，不用泡了

546
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:35,250
我是在等你

547
00:31:35,350 --> 00:31:36,280
等我？

548
00:31:39,860 --> 00:31:41,250
你把这朵花送给她

549
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,290
然后跟她说

550
00:31:42,390 --> 00:31:44,920
你很漂亮，我很喜欢你就行了

551
00:31:45,030 --> 00:31:45,720
这就行了？

552
00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:47,920
行了，就看你有没有这本事了

553
00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:49,190
你话别说得太满

554
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:50,990
我怕的是你这招不灵

555
00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:52,460
我这招一定灵

556
00:31:52,570 --> 00:31:53,970
就不知道你有没有这个本事去

557
00:31:54,070 --> 00:31:55,090
我别的本事没有

558
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:56,800
这点小事还难不倒我

559
00:31:57,170 --> 00:31:58,640
只要你敢过去跟她说

560
00:31:58,740 --> 00:32:00,210
我就保证一定成功

561
00:32:05,350 --> 00:32:07,340
我看你根本就不敢过去

562
00:32:26,030 --> 00:32:28,940
你很漂亮，我好喜欢你

563
00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:36,110
喜欢吗？

564
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,140
好可爱

565
00:32:47,820 --> 00:32:50,120
连只牛都不理我，还叫我跟人说

566
00:32:50,230 --> 00:32:51,320
灵个屁

567
00:32:51,660 --> 00:32:53,060
我早说过你不行

568
00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:07,670
这次你有对手了

569
00:33:10,650 --> 00:33:11,540
去啊

570
00:33:13,380 --> 00:33:16,350
邓先生，你今天怎么有空到这儿来

571
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:23,120
我今天来主要是看看我的广告片

572
00:33:23,230 --> 00:33:24,620
到底拍得怎么样了？

573
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,460
那个是不是我们的女主角？

574
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,230
是“.来”.我来介绍一下

575
00:33:33,340 --> 00:33:36,740
这位是我们的老板邓李洋先生

576
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,500
这位是我们的女主角，她叫阿玉

577
00:33:38,610 --> 00:33:39,370
你好

578
00:33:43,510 --> 00:33:45,070
这花送给你

579
00:33:45,180 --> 00:33:47,550
陪我喝杯茶怎么样？

580
00:33:47,650 --> 00:33:49,240
对不起，我还要拍广告

581
00:33:51,390 --> 00:33:52,280
导演

582
00:33:52,390 --> 00:33:53,080
来了

583
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:55,180
你搞什么？到现在还不收工？

584
00:33:55,290 --> 00:33:57,090
收工.？

585
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,260
大家听着，老板说今天收工了

586
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,620
把东西都收一收

587
00:34:01,730 --> 00:34:03,100
有空了吧？

588
00:34:04,730 --> 00:34:06,390
对不起，就算不拍这个广告

589
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:07,590
我也不会跟你去喝茶的

590
00:34:08,870 --> 00:34:10,030
你什么意思？

591
00:34:10,140 --> 00:34:12,570
我们老大请你喝茶，你敢拒绝

592
00:34:17,950 --> 00:34:21,140
拿出男人本色，英雄救美

593
00:34:21,250 --> 00:34:21,910
好

594
00:34:24,050 --> 00:34:25,640
你干嘛把枪掏出来？

595
00:34:25,750 --> 00:34:26,810
就算是抓贼

596
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,620
也要看适当的时机才能掏枪

597
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:30,610
泡妞要看谁的本事大

598
00:34:30,730 --> 00:34:32,060
把勇气拿出来

599
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:33,820
他们有很多人

600
00:34:33,930 --> 00:34:35,660
你不要怕，一切有我

601
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,860
我会帮你搞定的

602
00:34:37,930 --> 00:34:41,300
不.标叔，但是我应该说些什么？

603
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,530
放手呀

604
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,400
放手啦

605
00:34:46,070 --> 00:34:49,510
臭小子，你什么东西？闪一边去

606
00:34:51,350 --> 00:34:54,010
光天化日之下，胆敢调戏良家妇女

607
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,680
干嘛？你以为你是楚留香

608
00:34:56,790 --> 00:35:00,620
还英雄救美啊？交给你们了

609
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:03,690
不要呀

610
00:35:03,790 --> 00:35:04,950
你们干什么？

611
00:35:06,260 --> 00:35:07,290
不要打了

612
00:35:13,670 --> 00:35:16,800
不许打，我劝你们保持冷静

613
00:35:23,310 --> 00:35:26,770
像你这么蠢的大侠可真是难找

614
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,380
我真是服了你了

615
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,700
你不许我掏枪

616
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,100
还坐在这里看我被人家扁

617
00:35:51,210 --> 00:35:52,730
你这叫帮我啊？

618
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,070
我已经帮你了，只是你不知道而已

619
00:35:55,180 --> 00:35:55,640
你还

620
00:35:55,740 --> 00:35:56,540
先生

621
00:35:59,380 --> 00:36:00,440
你不要紧吧？

622
00:36:01,550 --> 00:36:02,610
没事

623
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,280
刚才的事真是不好意思

624
00:36:04,690 --> 00:36:05,650
不客气

625
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,530
月上柳梢头

626
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,570
人约黄昏后

627
00:36:25,370 --> 00:36:26,100
吓死我了

628
00:36:26,210 --> 00:36:28,330
下次出来请你通知我一声嘛

629
00:36:28,910 --> 00:36:30,140
妞我已经帮你泡上了

630
00:36:30,250 --> 00:36:31,680
现在该你帮我报仇了吧

631
00:36:31,780 --> 00:36:34,680
没问题，不过我已经约了她

632
00:36:34,780 --> 00:36:37,120
好歹先让我占一次便宜再说

633
00:36:37,220 --> 00:36:39,620
好事都让你占尽了

634
00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:41,420
我们约定的事就不算数了？

635
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:42,350
对不起了

636
00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,520
就算天王老子找我也没用了

637
00:36:44,630 --> 00:36:46,530
好，走着瞧

638
00:37:17,260 --> 00:37:18,050
李小姐，你好？

639
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,060
先生，你好？

640
00:37:19,430 --> 00:37:20,360
幸会

641
00:37:20,460 --> 00:37:21,490
你没事吧？

642
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,860
没事，我们到那边坐一会？

643
00:37:23,970 --> 00:37:24,620
好

644
00:37:24,730 --> 00:37:25,430
谢谢

645
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:34,670
李小姐都忙些什么？

646
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,270
拍广告呀

647
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:37,170
是吗？

648
00:37:38,580 --> 00:37:39,270
拍广告那就

649
00:37:39,380 --> 00:37:40,440
你的枪碰到我了

650
00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:42,970
对不起

651
00:37:46,620 --> 00:37:47,140
这么说起来

652
00:37:47,260 --> 00:37:49,350
李小姐的工作环境都很不错了？

653
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:51,760
什么东西？

654
00:37:54,100 --> 00:37:55,650
你怎么会有两支枪？

655
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,320
是啊，等一下

656
00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,190
老兄，算我怕你

657
00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:02,530
你给我半个小时，好不好？

658
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,000
半个小时就够了

659
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:05,530
帮帮忙

660
00:38:07,210 --> 00:38:08,040
先吃点花生

661
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:10,470
别闹了

662
00:38:12,950 --> 00:38:13,780
见色忘友

663
00:38:17,690 --> 00:38:18,280
都没了

664
00:38:45,910 --> 00:38:46,570
怎么了？

665
00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:52,680
第三支枪

666
00:39:03,030 --> 00:39:04,400
怎么到这里来找线索？

667
00:39:04,830 --> 00:39:07,530
随便看看嘛，没线索当是旅行

668
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:08,430
我先去看一下

669
00:39:46,980 --> 00:39:48,000
你在干什么？

670
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,370
警察，你有权

671
00:39:52,110 --> 00:39:53,710
你在这里干什么？开片

672
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,340
不要过来，我开枪了

673
00:39:56,450 --> 00:39:57,040
快走

674
00:39:57,150 --> 00:39:58,180
不要走

675
00:39:58,590 --> 00:39:59,920
我开枪了

676
00:40:00,390 --> 00:40:01,010
你吓唬谁？

677
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,050
戴黑眼镜那个

678
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,120
你少神气，我开枪了

679
00:40:05,090 --> 00:40:06,320
不是我

680
00:40:06,690 --> 00:40:07,630
也不是我

681
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:09,860
拿斧头那个别拿死鱼眼瞄我

682
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,950
我开枪了

683
00:40:12,730 --> 00:40:13,330
不是我

684
00:40:13,430 --> 00:40:14,730
穿蓝色衣服的那个

685
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,630
你哪来那么多要求呀？我劈你

686
00:40:21,410 --> 00:40:21,880
不是我

687
00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:23,030
劈他

688
00:40:23,140 --> 00:40:26,840
轰你

689
00:40:26,950 --> 00:40:27,640
怎么回事？

690
00:40:27,750 --> 00:40:29,150
老大，欲罢不能

691
00:40:29,250 --> 00:40:30,010
赶快去摆平他

692
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,710
他有枪

693
00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:32,340
我们人多

694
00:40:32,450 --> 00:40:34,550
他只有六颗子弹，怕什么呢？

695
00:40:34,660 --> 00:40:35,820
那他来真的怎么办？

696
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,220
笨蛋，你不会躲到后面去呀

697
00:40:37,330 --> 00:40:37,920
啊！

698
00:40:38,030 --> 00:40:39,360
啊什么？这儿交给你了

699
00:40:39,460 --> 00:40:40,590
我到后面包抄

700
00:40:41,060 --> 00:40:43,160
这么简单，谁都可以当老大了

701
00:40:43,260 --> 00:40:44,390
劈他

702
00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:45,760
你怕了？

703
00:40:46,730 --> 00:40:49,130
像这种小场面你都应付不了

704
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:50,170
我帮你摆平他们

705
00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:50,760
你哈啦什么？

706
00:40:50,870 --> 00:40:52,770
你不知道我只有六颗子弹

707
00:40:52,870 --> 00:40:54,240
你不行，我行

708
00:40:54,710 --> 00:40:55,570
是不是真的？

709
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:58,770
搞定

710
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,400
标叔，你不要开我玩笑

711
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,710
劈他

712
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:21,330
还真的有用

713
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,510
还发什么呆？

714
00:41:27,910 --> 00:41:29,170
还不快叫救护车

715
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:38,640
进来

716
00:41:40,390 --> 00:41:41,220
督察         督察

717
00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:50,850
昨天的毒品案，是你们破的？

718
00:41:50,970 --> 00:41:51,830
是的

719
00:41:52,570 --> 00:41:53,560
好

720
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,370
上头对你们的表现很满意

721
00:41:57,470 --> 00:42:01,030
要我写一份报告，然后论功行赏

722
00:42:01,140 --> 00:42:01,770
谢谢督察

723
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,310
昨天的情况是非常的惊险

724
00:42:06,450 --> 00:42:08,440
报告督察，阿星是新来的

725
00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:10,310
这种大场面他哪见过呢？

726
00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:11,940
再加上他的经验不足

727
00:42:12,050 --> 00:42:14,820
所以昨天表现的是既惊慌又紧张

728
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,820
整个的情况他已经记不清楚了

729
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,410
为了不耽误督察宝贵的时间

730
00:42:18,530 --> 00:42:20,190
我想我一个人报告就行了

731
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,020
那你先出去好了

732
00:42:26,170 --> 00:42:27,460
出去

733
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:38,500
你很生气？

734
00:42:38,610 --> 00:42:39,100
是啊

735
00:42:39,210 --> 00:42:39,870
我有办法

736
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,250
什么法宝？

737
00:42:49,420 --> 00:42:50,320
风骚咒

738
00:42:51,060 --> 00:42:51,890
风骚咒？

739
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,420
十几个人冲出来，我为了保护阿星

740
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:56,860
一个人跟他们拼了

741
00:43:02,370 --> 00:43:04,030
怎么样？搞定了没有？

742
00:43:07,540 --> 00:43:08,240
看哪

743
00:43:10,810 --> 00:43:11,800
刚刚好好玩

744
00:43:12,150 --> 00:43:13,770
我们再来玩一次，快点来，来啊

745
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:18,150
什么东西呀？你神经病，走开

746
00:43:21,420 --> 00:43:23,450
我一看情况不对，马上把枪掏出来

747
00:43:24,290 --> 00:43:27,730
你那支枪是不是又大又长？

748
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:30,690
不，督察，不怎么大

749
00:43:31,130 --> 00:43:33,000
来啊，我看看嘛

750
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:34,400
督察，你看什么？

751
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:36,190
不行啊，督察

752
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:37,870
不要小器，借我看看嘛

753
00:43:37,970 --> 00:43:39,270
不是我小器

754
00:43:39,370 --> 00:43:40,840
我是想给你看哪

755
00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:42,270
但是在这儿怎么行呀？

756
00:43:42,380 --> 00:43:43,570
那你看看我的

757
00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:46,510
大不大嘛？

758
00:43:46,980 --> 00:43:49,280
大，不要白不要，我要了

759
00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:52,920
到底要不要？

760
00:43:53,020 --> 00:43:53,880
来嘛

761
00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:56,690
受不了了.我要

762
00:43:56,790 --> 00:43:57,660
我要

763
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,730
我要“.不能要”

764
00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:01,800
抓她

765
00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:05,090
这样不是便宜他了吗？

766
00:44:05,470 --> 00:44:06,590
便宜他，我才不干呢

767
00:44:11,370 --> 00:44:13,200
督察，你发神经病呀？

768
00:44:15,340 --> 00:44:16,140
你刚才干什么？

769
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:18,270
我没干什么，是你叫我这么做的

770
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:20,400
你还敢胡说，连上司你都敢非礼

771
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,680
不是，督察，是你命令我的

772
00:44:22,780 --> 00:44:23,940
我命令你的？

773
00:44:24,750 --> 00:44:25,340
好

774
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,820
你们刚才看到什么？

775
00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:31,820
什么都没看到

776
00:44:32,490 --> 00:44:33,480
他刚才趴在你身上

777
00:44:33,590 --> 00:44:35,530
我们统统都没看见

778
00:44:35,630 --> 00:44:36,930
臭小子，你出卖我

779
00:44:37,030 --> 00:44:37,690
进去

780
00:44:41,870 --> 00:44:44,100
不要打，不要啦

781
00:44:48,580 --> 00:44:49,240
爸

782
00:44:50,850 --> 00:44:53,540
爸，你怎么了？弄成这个样子

783
00:44:53,650 --> 00:44:55,380
别提了，今天真够倒霉的

784
00:44:56,350 --> 00:44:59,380
爸，我约了新男朋友回来见你

785
00:44:59,750 --> 00:45:01,720
新男朋友？是谁啊？

786
00:45:02,660 --> 00:45:03,420
你猜呀？

787
00:45:04,690 --> 00:45:05,720
我女儿喜欢的一定是

788
00:45:05,830 --> 00:45:08,920
块头高大，英俊潇洒，聪明灵活

789
00:45:09,030 --> 00:45:10,090
还要加上点可爱

790
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:12,000
一会儿你就见到他了

791
00:45:13,430 --> 00:45:15,560
对了，爸，我们先说好

792
00:45:15,670 --> 00:45:17,230
反正他是你女儿喜欢的

793
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:21,110
阿玉

794
00:45:21,210 --> 00:45:21,900
送我的？

795
00:45:22,980 --> 00:45:23,570
是呀

796
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,610
来，先见见我爸爸

797
00:45:25,710 --> 00:45:26,370
好啊

798
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:29,210
爸，这是我男朋友

799
00:45:29,850 --> 00:45:30,750
老伯

800
00:45:31,820 --> 00:45:33,010
怎么又是你呀？

801
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,490
是啊，怎么会这么巧？

802
00:45:34,590 --> 00:45:35,420
是啊，真巧

803
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,010
原来你们认识

804
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:38,890
是啊

805
00:45:38,990 --> 00:45:40,720
对，就是我老跟你提起那位

806
00:45:40,830 --> 00:45:43,020
块头高大，英俊潇洒，聪明灵活

807
00:45:43,130 --> 00:45:44,360
还加点可爱的上司

808
00:45:44,470 --> 00:45:45,430
原来是你老爸

809
00:45:46,330 --> 00:45:48,330
少拍马屁了，先坐下再说

810
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,030
好

811
00:45:51,270 --> 00:45:52,330
怎么会是他？

812
00:45:52,970 --> 00:45:55,240
可是我答应阿玉只要她喜欢就好

813
00:45:56,310 --> 00:45:57,470
待会有你好看的

814
00:45:58,150 --> 00:46:00,140
我饭已经煮好了待会就可以吃饭了

815
00:46:00,250 --> 00:46:01,150
我先去帮你倒杯茶

816
00:46:01,250 --> 00:46:01,910
谢谢

817
00:46:07,990 --> 00:46:09,390
臭小子，起来

818
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:12,260
刚才出卖我，现在还想泡我女儿

819
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,490
长官，刚才是你自己不自量力嘛

820
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,500
臭小子，我告诉你

821
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,360
聪明的话就让我打两拳

822
00:46:19,770 --> 00:46:20,390
还躲？

823
00:46:20,500 --> 00:46:21,530
不躲干嘛？

824
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,800
你躲，你好小子，你想还手？

825
00:46:24,910 --> 00:46:25,430
不让你还手

826
00:46:25,540 --> 00:46:27,600
爸，阿星，你们干什么？

827
00:46:28,210 --> 00:46:29,140
没什么

828
00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:32,540
你这个男朋友真是块头高大

829
00:46:32,650 --> 00:46:34,620
老伯也是英俊潇洒

830
00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:37,280
哪里？你聪明灵活

831
00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:39,350
好几十岁人都还这么可爱

832
00:46:39,450 --> 00:46:40,390
你也不差啊

833
00:46:40,490 --> 00:46:41,510
没想到你们这么投缘

834
00:46:41,620 --> 00:46:42,820
可以吃饭了，来吧

835
00:46:48,730 --> 00:46:49,530
来，吃饭了

836
00:46:50,700 --> 00:46:52,290
不要客气，阿玉做的小菜很好吃

837
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:53,300
你一定会喜欢的

838
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:53,990
好

839
00:46:54,670 --> 00:46:56,360
来，如果不够咸，就加酱油

840
00:46:56,470 --> 00:46:57,130
谢谢

841
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:58,930
如果不够辣的话，就加辣椒酱

842
00:46:59,310 --> 00:47:01,470
这些辣椒酱可是阿玉亲手做的

843
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:04,940
原来他怕辣

844
00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:07,310
尝尝这个辣椒酱

845
00:47:09,550 --> 00:47:15,280
这是朝天椒做的，很够味的

846
00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:18,620
你要是不尝一下就是没有口福

847
00:47:18,730 --> 00:47:20,220
你喜欢吃辣呀？

848
00:47:20,330 --> 00:47:21,300
是啊

849
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,590
吃啊

850
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:28,270
我忘了汤了

851
00:47:30,070 --> 00:47:31,200
你存心整我

852
00:47:31,310 --> 00:47:31,790
你吃不吃你？

853
00:47:31,910 --> 00:47:32,600
不吃

854
00:47:38,710 --> 00:47:39,610
张嘴

855
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,650
爸，你把虾子吃了？

856
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:47,890
很好吃，他说嫌不够辣

857
00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:50,010
用辣椒酱拌饭才好吃，来

858
00:47:53,590 --> 00:47:54,620
这才合他的胃口

859
00:47:56,730 --> 00:47:58,720
原来你跟我一样喜欢吃辣椒酱呀

860
00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:07,730
你好厉害

861
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,170
看你吃得满嘴都是的

862
00:48:13,650 --> 00:48:15,810
来，不要光吃饭嘛，吃点菜

863
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:17,510
谢谢

864
00:48:17,620 --> 00:48:18,450
来

865
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:22,420
你不喜欢？那我给爸爸吃了

866
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:24,420
来，爸爸

867
00:48:26,730 --> 00:48:28,890
你也不喜欢？那我自己吃好了

868
00:48:29,730 --> 00:48:30,630
吃

869
00:48:30,930 --> 00:48:31,830
好，来啊

870
00:48:42,610 --> 00:48:43,470
你们干什么？

871
00:48:47,780 --> 00:48:48,540
阿玉

872
00:49:18,810 --> 00:49:22,210
那个臭小子是有点邪气

873
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,620
有一只阴灵在帮他对付你

874
00:49:28,420 --> 00:49:29,180
那我该怎么办？

875
00:49:29,590 --> 00:49:31,750
我会帮你查清楚

876
00:49:32,590 --> 00:49:35,720
现在给你一个护身符

877
00:49:46,010 --> 00:49:48,170
它会暂时保护你

878
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:49,240
谢谢法师

879
00:49:55,550 --> 00:49:56,740
你趴在地上干什么？

880
00:49:57,050 --> 00:49:58,080
我看电视

881
00:50:01,090 --> 00:50:02,250
这么巧

882
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,820
最近你泡阿玉泡到神魂颠倒的

883
00:50:04,930 --> 00:50:06,690
哪有？怎么会？

884
00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:10,160
你不是有那个什么

885
00:50:10,260 --> 00:50:11,250
风骚咒是不是？

886
00:50:11,370 --> 00:50:12,200
可不可以借给我？

887
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,660
你有神经病呀？

888
00:50:13,770 --> 00:50:15,560
你想把风骚咒用在阿玉身上

889
00:50:15,670 --> 00:50:17,690
她是我小侄女

890
00:50:17,810 --> 00:50:20,270
泡妞还要用风骚咒，你也太烂了

891
00:50:20,370 --> 00:50:22,070
就算泡上了也没面子

892
00:50:22,810 --> 00:50:25,240
你知不知道风骚咒有多厉害呀

893
00:50:26,410 --> 00:50:28,440
咒无虚发，发不可收

894
00:50:28,850 --> 00:50:30,040
这种功夫我不会教你的

895
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,980
算了，我只想研究一下

896
00:50:37,390 --> 00:50:39,550
有点累了，先回去睡一觉

897
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:44,560
什么大不了的事情

898
00:50:44,670 --> 00:50:46,030
还把我带到你家来

899
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:48,470
其实也没什么，闲着也是闲着嘛

900
00:50:48,570 --> 00:50:51,800
上来坐坐，喝杯茶，聊聊天

901
00:50:51,910 --> 00:50:52,740
联络一下感情嘛

902
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,190
怎么是你？阿锦，阿星来了

903
00:51:27,610 --> 00:51:28,300
我先走了

904
00:51:29,010 --> 00:51:30,140
你怎么走了呢？

905
00:51:32,980 --> 00:51:34,070
咒出不可收

906
00:51:36,180 --> 00:51:36,650
猫

907
00:51:41,620 --> 00:51:42,610
你撞

908
00:51:54,870 --> 00:51:56,030
干什么？找阿玉是不是？

909
00:51:56,140 --> 00:51:57,000
她还没回来

910
00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,430
你

911
00:52:00,980 --> 00:52:01,740
我走了

912
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:05,680
我说过阿玉没回来

913
00:52:06,450 --> 00:52:07,440
我知道

914
00:52:11,090 --> 00:52:11,980
干什么？

915
00:52:13,490 --> 00:52:14,350
你哪儿不对劲？

916
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,170
阿锦，锦郎

917
00:52:34,240 --> 00:52:36,710
我好无聊

918
00:52:38,580 --> 00:52:39,740
臭小子，你干什么？

919
00:52:39,850 --> 00:52:41,140
毛手毛脚，快放手

920
00:52:41,250 --> 00:52:42,270
阿星

921
00:52:42,620 --> 00:52:43,240
放手呀你

922
00:52:43,350 --> 00:52:44,280
阿锦

923
00:52:44,390 --> 00:52:45,440
你干什么？

924
00:52:45,620 --> 00:52:47,110
你男朋友是个同性恋

925
00:52:47,220 --> 00:52:49,780
你干嘛这样子说我嘛？

926
00:52:53,460 --> 00:52:54,450
我刚才干什么了？

927
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:55,990
你搞同性恋，干什么？

928
00:52:57,060 --> 00:52:58,590
阿玉

929
00:53:00,230 --> 00:53:01,500
阿玉，你听我说

930
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,090
我刚刚自己也不知道干什么

931
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,690
我是中了一种咒，叫风骚咒

932
00:53:05,810 --> 00:53:07,500
哪有什么风骚咒？你少骗我了

933
00:53:07,610 --> 00:53:08,540
鬼才相信你

934
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:09,630
他是吃你豆腐

935
00:53:09,740 --> 00:53:11,140
是真的，那些风骚咒

936
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:12,610
我是从标叔那儿拿过来的

937
00:53:12,710 --> 00:53:14,310
标叔？哪个标叔？

938
00:53:14,420 --> 00:53:16,180
就是你以前的同事张标

939
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,340
你神经病，他死了很久了

940
00:53:18,450 --> 00:53:20,720
我没有办法了，就实话实说了

941
00:53:22,660 --> 00:53:23,490
标叔在这把枪里

942
00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:24,990
你胡说什么？

943
00:53:25,090 --> 00:53:26,650
我看你吹牛的功夫比我还要高呢

944
00:53:27,930 --> 00:53:29,900
标叔，快现身，快一点现身

945
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,790
我的长官你又不是不认识，快

946
00:53:31,900 --> 00:53:33,160
爸，我们不要理他

947
00:53:34,470 --> 00:53:36,960
阿玉，给我两分钟时间

948
00:53:37,470 --> 00:53:38,200
我马上回来

949
00:53:44,710 --> 00:53:45,870
全都是我不好

950
00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:47,040
是我偷了你的符咒

951
00:53:47,150 --> 00:53:49,340
你要是再不现身，我就死定了

952
00:53:49,950 --> 00:53:52,420
了不起，我自己打我自己三个耳光

953
00:53:53,220 --> 00:53:54,150
可以了吗？

954
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,150
怎么胡言乱语的？

955
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,080
还是不行？你可别怪我，好

956
00:54:00,860 --> 00:54:01,850
我也不想这样

957
00:54:05,530 --> 00:54:06,430
是你逼我的

958
00:54:09,470 --> 00:54:10,600
受不了了吧

959
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:11,940
叫你早点出来

960
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,560
你就不用受这种苦了吧

961
00:54:14,070 --> 00:54:16,130
我看他八成是发神经病

962
00:54:16,740 --> 00:54:17,730
会不会出事了？

963
00:54:18,710 --> 00:54:20,240
说的也是，进去看看

964
00:54:23,650 --> 00:54:26,080
你看你搞什么？怎么这样小便的？

965
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:27,150
好了.快出去吧

966
00:54:27,250 --> 00:54:28,240
你这人恶不恶心呀？

967
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,120
阿玉

968
00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:39,390
不但用小便射我还把我冲进马桶里

969
00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:40,630
再给我点时间解释

970
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:45,560
我没有骗你吧，真的是鬼呀

971
00:54:45,970 --> 00:54:47,240
我怎么会骗你嘛，是不是？

972
00:54:48,140 --> 00:54:48,900
阿玉

973
00:54:51,950 --> 00:54:53,040
你上来干什么？

974
00:54:53,150 --> 00:54:54,670
下面说我死因不明

975
00:54:54,780 --> 00:54:56,010
我不上来我去哪儿？

976
00:54:56,350 --> 00:54:58,050
那你就上来整天装神弄鬼的？

977
00:54:58,150 --> 00:54:59,020
是又怎么样？

978
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,520
我不在的时候你居然又作威作福的

979
00:55:01,620 --> 00:55:02,590
现在知道厉害了吧？

980
00:55:02,990 --> 00:55:04,960
谁又作威作福了？

981
00:55:05,060 --> 00:55:05,850
不要生气

982
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,090
你少啰唆，关你什么事？

983
00:55:07,190 --> 00:55:08,390
你在我身上小便

984
00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:09,590
都是你惹的祸

985
00:55:18,870 --> 00:55:19,700
叫你来你不来

986
00:55:19,810 --> 00:55:21,210
不叫你来，你就突然来

987
00:55:25,950 --> 00:55:28,380
阿星，泡妞升职立功

988
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:31,080
好的坏的我全都替你做了

989
00:55:31,490 --> 00:55:32,780
我已经曝露了身分

990
00:55:32,890 --> 00:55:34,680
你一定要赶快把仇人给我找出来

991
00:55:36,020 --> 00:55:37,320
我也希望

992
00:55:37,420 --> 00:55:38,360
你又不知道是谁

993
00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:40,480
连长甚样你都没见过，我怎么找呀

994
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,590
不是我不帮你

995
00:55:45,430 --> 00:55:46,020
我想起来了

996
00:55:46,970 --> 00:55:47,700
他杀我的时候

997
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:49,060
身上有一股很重的味道

998
00:55:49,170 --> 00:55:50,360
什么味道？

999
00:55:50,470 --> 00:55:50,960
狐臭

1000
00:55:54,310 --> 00:55:55,710
我也有，怎么找呀？

1001
00:55:57,950 --> 00:56:00,350
你身上的是汗味，不是狐臭

1002
00:56:03,380 --> 00:56:04,010
明白了吧？

1003
00:56:04,720 --> 00:56:05,550
明白什么？

1004
00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:07,510
我刚刚说的

1005
00:56:07,620 --> 00:56:08,420
你刚才说什么？

1006
00:56:12,190 --> 00:56:16,190
阿权.我在这里，快点过来，来吧

1007
00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:17,060
老张，好久不见了

1008
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:17,690
到哪去了？

1009
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:19,990
没有，理发

1010
00:56:20,100 --> 00:56:20,760
好帅呀

1011
00:56:20,870 --> 00:56:21,490
谢谢

1012
00:56:21,970 --> 00:56:22,590
干什么你？

1013
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:23,800
干什么？

1014
00:56:24,670 --> 00:56:25,100
神经病

1015
00:56:25,210 --> 00:56:25,690
没事

1016
00:56:25,810 --> 00:56:27,900
神经病，真是

1017
00:56:28,010 --> 00:56:30,570
我最近的运气真是烂.输了一屁股

1018
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:31,370
不要赌了

1019
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:32,170
不赌怎么行？

1020
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:33,470
你还来，搞什么你？

1021
00:56:33,580 --> 00:56:34,550
借闻一下嘛

1022
00:56:45,030 --> 00:56:47,460
标叔，你是在这里被杀的

1023
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:48,760
他们又不是傻瓜

1024
00:56:48,860 --> 00:56:50,230
怎么还会待在这里呢？

1025
00:56:50,330 --> 00:56:51,190
你没听过

1026
00:56:51,300 --> 00:56:53,490
最危险的地方就是最安全的地方

1027
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:54,900
他们以为我死了

1028
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,060
又怎么会想到死人会报仇呢

1029
00:56:57,170 --> 00:56:58,260
话可不能这么说

1030
00:56:58,370 --> 00:56:59,860
我要不是因为撞到你

1031
00:56:59,970 --> 00:57:00,960
我也不知道这件事

1032
00:57:03,180 --> 00:57:04,370
从这儿爬过去

1033
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,840
我上一次也是从这儿爬过去调查的

1034
00:57:20,830 --> 00:57:24,130
真的有毒品，标叔

1035
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:37,180
快一点嘛，每一次都这么慢

1036
00:58:12,150 --> 00:58:12,630
干什么你？

1037
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:16,340
干什么？不要乱来，你不要扣扳机

1038
00:58:17,420 --> 00:58:18,280
躲开嘛

1039
00:58:39,070 --> 00:58:39,830
怎么样？

1040
00:58:39,940 --> 00:58:41,000
快去干掉他

1041
00:58:43,780 --> 00:58:45,540
标叔，能不能让我再过瘾一点？

1042
00:58:45,650 --> 00:58:46,940
你想过瘾？可以

1043
00:58:57,890 --> 00:58:58,620
过不过瘾？

1044
00:58:58,730 --> 00:58:59,920
可惜没有带照相机

1045
00:59:04,260 --> 00:59:06,290
这一下我可发了，标叔谢了

1046
00:59:07,170 --> 00:59:08,960
臭小子，敢到我这里来撒野？

1047
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:11,800
好臭

1048
00:59:11,910 --> 00:59:12,370
臭你妈

1049
00:59:12,470 --> 00:59:13,030
就是他

1050
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,190
你到底想干嘛？

1051
00:59:40,530 --> 00:59:41,730
我不喜欢那一把

1052
00:59:43,070 --> 00:59:43,760
我闪了

1053
00:59:46,970 --> 00:59:47,940
看你往哪儿跑

1054
00:59:53,050 --> 00:59:55,240
我明明打中他，他怎么还跑呀？

1055
00:59:55,780 --> 00:59:56,710
耍无赖嘛你

1056
00:59:56,820 --> 00:59:58,880
他不是无赖，他身上有法宝

1057
00:59:59,890 --> 01:00:01,080
有法宝

1058
01:00:04,830 --> 01:00:07,190
幸亏有你的护身符

1059
01:00:07,290 --> 01:00:09,890
否则我已经死了

1060
01:00:11,630 --> 01:00:13,060
他是被你杀死的

1061
01:00:13,170 --> 01:00:15,100
现在叫那个臭小子回来报仇

1062
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,330
那个王八蛋

1063
01:00:19,210 --> 01:00:20,540
死了都不肯放过我

1064
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:22,870
法师

1065
01:00:23,510 --> 01:00:25,310
这个人，你一定要把他处理掉

1066
01:00:26,150 --> 01:00:28,670
你放心的留在这里

1067
01:00:28,780 --> 01:00:32,780
对付这个小鬼，本法师早有妙计

1068
01:00:35,820 --> 01:00:37,380
祖师爷在上

1069
01:00:37,490 --> 01:00:40,620
弟子这次被张标和阿星那臭小子

1070
01:00:40,730 --> 01:00:42,720
整得好惨

1071
01:00:42,830 --> 01:00:46,030
好事全归他们，整天都耍我

1072
01:00:46,130 --> 01:00:47,660
还打我女儿的主意

1073
01:00:48,670 --> 01:00:51,470
祖师爷，您的法力高深

1074
01:00:51,570 --> 01:00:53,800
这次一定要帮弟子出这口气

1075
01:00:59,850 --> 01:01:00,810
祖师爷下凡了

1076
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,120
弟子李锦

1077
01:01:05,220 --> 01:01:07,910
本祖师知道你被小鬼张标逼害

1078
01:01:08,020 --> 01:01:10,490
所以本祖师亲自下凡

1079
01:01:10,590 --> 01:01:11,850
赐你灵符一度

1080
01:01:12,890 --> 01:01:14,720
你把它贴在枪管之内

1081
01:01:14,830 --> 01:01:18,130
就可以禁固那个小鬼以示惩戒

1082
01:01:18,230 --> 01:01:19,320
多谢祖师爷

1083
01:01:19,430 --> 01:01:20,730
你出去依法行事

1084
01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:21,490
是

1085
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:35,870
阿星

1086
01:01:35,980 --> 01:01:36,380
回来了？

1087
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:37,350
约会啊？

1088
01:01:37,780 --> 01:01:39,010
带枪了没有？

1089
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,050
有呀

1090
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:41,250
带什么枪呢？

1091
01:01:41,350 --> 01:01:43,290
跟阿玉出去，带枪不太方便吧

1092
01:01:43,390 --> 01:01:45,150
枪枝泛滥，不带多危险

1093
01:01:45,260 --> 01:01:47,490
怕什么，再说人总有点私生活

1094
01:01:47,590 --> 01:01:49,430
没事带个电灯泡在身边干什么呢

1095
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:50,520
有道理

1096
01:01:51,970 --> 01:01:53,430
这个老家伙挺烦人的

1097
01:01:53,770 --> 01:01:54,860
我让你们两个叙叙旧

1098
01:01:54,970 --> 01:01:56,770
好，你们去吧

1099
01:01:58,570 --> 01:02:00,400
爸，我们走了，拜拜

1100
01:02:00,510 --> 01:02:02,240
拜拜，别急着回来

1101
01:02:02,910 --> 01:02:03,600
要你管

1102
01:02:11,990 --> 01:02:13,780
把你堵死，我就不信你还能出得来

1103
01:02:39,910 --> 01:02:42,210
放我出来

1104
01:02:43,620 --> 01:02:44,740
你永远也出不来了

1105
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,280
我们黑教的捉鬼精棺

1106
01:02:48,390 --> 01:02:49,750
就是你的剋星

1107
01:02:50,390 --> 01:02:53,260
用不了多久，你就会灰飞烟灭

1108
01:02:55,100 --> 01:02:57,690
放我出来

1109
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,040
阿玉

1110
01:03:08,140 --> 01:03:09,010
什么？

1111
01:03:10,540 --> 01:03:11,940
听说我们已经抱了好久

1112
01:03:12,050 --> 01:03:12,810
是啊

1113
01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:16,210
你觉得怎么样？

1114
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:17,370
很好玩

1115
01:03:19,690 --> 01:03:22,680
我看这样好不好？

1116
01:03:22,790 --> 01:03:24,120
我们玩点别的游戏

1117
01:03:25,090 --> 01:03:25,890
什么？

1118
01:03:26,260 --> 01:03:29,750
譬如说.亲亲嘴

1119
01:03:29,860 --> 01:03:33,920
不要了，让别人看到多不好意思？

1120
01:03:34,030 --> 01:03:35,160
哪会有人看我们嘛

1121
01:03:35,270 --> 01:03:36,430
谁说没有人？

1122
01:03:39,470 --> 01:03:40,130
我的枪

1123
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:43,540
什么事？

1124
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:45,910
你该知道是什么事

1125
01:03:46,010 --> 01:03:46,810
不知道

1126
01:03:47,780 --> 01:03:48,650
你知不知道？

1127
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:50,610
我知道，没事

1128
01:03:53,990 --> 01:03:55,220
没事你还不快跑？

1129
01:03:59,930 --> 01:04:01,390
标叔

1130
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:03,560
你认识我？

1131
01:04:03,660 --> 01:04:06,460
不.完全误会，不认识

1132
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:19,300
他今天运动量够了，走吧

1133
01:04:20,210 --> 01:04:21,010
走了

1134
01:04:21,950 --> 01:04:23,010
再见

1135
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:29,350
在那边

1136
01:04:30,220 --> 01:04:30,950
快点

1137
01:04:31,860 --> 01:04:33,190
你又来得太早了吧

1138
01:04:33,990 --> 01:04:35,930
给我点机会表现嘛

1139
01:04:40,700 --> 01:04:41,890
小心点，你没事吧？

1140
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:50,300
你先躺下，我去拿药给你擦

1141
01:04:56,020 --> 01:04:57,950
他没有道理不救我

1142
01:05:00,620 --> 01:05:03,450
阿标，你终于栽在我的手上了吧

1143
01:05:05,090 --> 01:05:08,060
祖师爷在上，请受弟子李锦一拜

1144
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:11,360
谢谢祖师爷下凡赐灵符

1145
01:05:11,460 --> 01:05:13,900
把阿标锁住，让我出了这口气

1146
01:05:14,430 --> 01:05:15,130
阿星

1147
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,230
这一次可整到了阿标跟阿星

1148
01:05:17,340 --> 01:05:18,270
他们两个人了

1149
01:05:22,910 --> 01:05:24,310
原来是你在搞鬼

1150
01:05:24,410 --> 01:05:25,970
爸，你为什么要这么做？

1151
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:27,970
谁叫他们两个人老是爱整我

1152
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:30,880
爸，刚才阿星差点让邓李洋打死了

1153
01:05:31,380 --> 01:05:32,510
邓李洋还敢出来

1154
01:05:32,620 --> 01:05:34,310
少说废话，先把标叔弄出来再说

1155
01:05:36,020 --> 01:05:36,750
标叔

1156
01:05:37,460 --> 01:05:38,120
来，我来

1157
01:05:40,690 --> 01:05:41,180
好了

1158
01:05:41,630 --> 01:05:43,150
标叔，你出来呀

1159
01:05:43,260 --> 01:05:44,090
怎么了，阿星？

1160
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:45,530
标叔，他睡着了

1161
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:49,860
起来，天亮了，标叔

1162
01:05:52,740 --> 01:05:53,570
出来了

1163
01:05:54,310 --> 01:05:55,570
标叔要是不见，你就给我小心点

1164
01:05:56,580 --> 01:05:58,480
不可能，我问一下祖师爷

1165
01:06:00,380 --> 01:06:02,440
祖师爷在上，弟子把灵符拿走

1166
01:06:02,550 --> 01:06:03,850
还是不能把张标放出来

1167
01:06:03,950 --> 01:06:06,010
有什么差错，请祖师爷指点

1168
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,960
你这个不肖子弟，心术不正

1169
01:06:13,060 --> 01:06:14,960
被妖孽利用，闯下大祸

1170
01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:17,620
本祖师爷从未亲身下凡

1171
01:06:17,730 --> 01:06:18,490
也没有把那些

1172
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,530
欺压善良害人害物的妖符给你

1173
01:06:22,370 --> 01:06:24,270
标叔被谁抓去了？

1174
01:06:24,770 --> 01:06:27,040
这个妖孽是张标的剋星

1175
01:06:27,140 --> 01:06:29,870
受了张标的仇人邓李洋的指示

1176
01:06:29,980 --> 01:06:31,200
假扮本祖师

1177
01:06:31,310 --> 01:06:34,370
利用本门不肖弟子把张标抓走

1178
01:06:34,780 --> 01:06:37,680
然后关在邪教的捉鬼精棺里

1179
01:06:38,650 --> 01:06:40,410
有什么办法可以救他出来？

1180
01:06:41,090 --> 01:06:42,950
这个捉鬼精棺非常邪恶

1181
01:06:43,060 --> 01:06:47,050
以本祖师的法力还没有办法破解它

1182
01:06:47,690 --> 01:06:49,180
那标叔死定了

1183
01:06:49,300 --> 01:06:51,700
祖师爷，求你大发慈悲想想办法

1184
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:55,000
我只能把破精棺的法宝写在你身上

1185
01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:57,300
你能找到它，就可以救张标了

1186
01:06:57,870 --> 01:06:59,130
麻烦你，请你快一点

1187
01:07:00,210 --> 01:07:01,610
请这位小姐回避

1188
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:36,140
祖师爷，请你快点，我快忍不住了

1189
01:07:58,130 --> 01:08:00,100
对不起，我实在怕痒

1190
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,030
明天再写吧

1191
01:08:06,110 --> 01:08:06,970
写完了？

1192
01:08:09,380 --> 01:08:10,360
祖师爷走了，我看看

1193
01:08:13,850 --> 01:08:14,740
怎么全弄花了

1194
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,010
大概被我抓掉了，还看得清楚吗？

1195
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:19,580
还可以，我看看

1196
01:08:19,690 --> 01:08:20,520
玉女尿

1197
01:08:20,620 --> 01:08:22,590
神台猫屎

1198
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:24,820
大仙.大仙什么？

1199
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:28,460
屁，大仙屁

1200
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:29,430
不要，你偷看人家屁屁

1201
01:08:29,530 --> 01:08:30,460
下次让你看回来嘛

1202
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:31,120
真的？

1203
01:08:31,230 --> 01:08:32,530
真的，看祖师爷的

1204
01:08:33,300 --> 01:08:34,360
谢谢祖师爷

1205
01:08:36,300 --> 01:08:37,390
怎么会不吃呢？

1206
01:08:37,770 --> 01:08:39,500
我弄的全是海鲜，它应该喜欢吃

1207
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:44,940
怎么样？吃了没有？

1208
01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:46,740
没有，真是奇怪了

1209
01:08:46,850 --> 01:08:48,540
说什么就是不肯吃

1210
01:08:49,420 --> 01:08:51,850
平常不给它吃，对它这么坏

1211
01:08:51,950 --> 01:08:53,580
今天突然给它吃这么多好东西

1212
01:08:53,690 --> 01:08:55,180
它怕你毒死它

1213
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:56,720
那该怎么办呢？

1214
01:08:56,820 --> 01:08:57,790
先让我示范一次

1215
01:08:57,890 --> 01:08:59,290
它自然就会跟着吃了

1216
01:08:59,390 --> 01:09:00,220
那好，来

1217
01:09:05,630 --> 01:09:07,190
我是猫，你看好

1218
01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:09,760
这么好东西不吃，太浪费

1219
01:09:13,370 --> 01:09:14,170
这鱼不错

1220
01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:20,850
肉都吃光了

1221
01:09:24,020 --> 01:09:24,780
咸了一点

1222
01:09:25,150 --> 01:09:26,950
这全让你吃完了，怎么办呢？

1223
01:09:27,050 --> 01:09:29,520
我是给它机会好让它看清楚嘛

1224
01:09:32,260 --> 01:09:33,020
你看吧

1225
01:09:34,460 --> 01:09:35,320
要示范嘛

1226
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:37,890
都很新鲜

1227
01:09:38,360 --> 01:09:40,360
不过味道就是有点怪怪的

1228
01:09:40,470 --> 01:09:42,160
不会的，我只加了一点泻盐

1229
01:09:51,780 --> 01:09:52,900
你想干什么？

1230
01:09:53,850 --> 01:09:55,780
看你示范拉屎，不然它怎么拉？

1231
01:09:56,750 --> 01:09:57,580
看

1232
01:10:02,890 --> 01:10:04,290
乖，快点拉

1233
01:10:04,690 --> 01:10:05,990
看完了示范，该你了

1234
01:10:13,470 --> 01:10:14,020
师婆

1235
01:10:14,730 --> 01:10:15,790
什么事，长官？

1236
01:10:15,900 --> 01:10:16,830
还没下班啊？

1237
01:10:16,940 --> 01:10:19,960
就快要下班了，做完这些就下班了

1238
01:10:20,070 --> 01:10:22,040
师婆，我知道你工作很累

1239
01:10:22,140 --> 01:10:23,540
买了汽水给你解解渴

1240
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:25,840
你对我这么好，这么大瓶

1241
01:10:25,950 --> 01:10:27,710
小意思，你客气什么呢

1242
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:30,280
等一下，让我拿个杯子

1243
01:10:30,380 --> 01:10:32,650
不用杯子了，对着瓶嘴喝就行了

1244
01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:33,510
一大瓶？

1245
01:10:33,620 --> 01:10:35,050
大瓶才过瘾

1246
01:10:35,150 --> 01:10:35,920
也好

1247
01:10:44,300 --> 01:10:45,990
你真棒，还有

1248
01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:48,030
来.再一瓶

1249
01:10:48,130 --> 01:10:49,190
还有呀？

1250
01:10:56,740 --> 01:10:57,330
喝光了

1251
01:10:57,440 --> 01:10:58,600
师婆，你真行

1252
01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:01,470
天气太热了

1253
01:11:01,580 --> 01:11:02,070
来

1254
01:11:02,180 --> 01:11:03,010
还喝？好

1255
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:04,140
喝

1256
01:11:10,660 --> 01:11:12,320
真是了不起，师婆，够不够？

1257
01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:13,920
糟了，全喝光了

1258
01:11:14,030 --> 01:11:16,090
我再去给你买回来，你等一等

1259
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:18,600
这小子真奇怪，突然对我这么好

1260
01:11:24,170 --> 01:11:25,330
我就不信你不尿尿

1261
01:11:31,510 --> 01:11:32,740
你干什么？

1262
01:11:33,510 --> 01:11:36,280
你这个老色狼，想偷看女人尿尿

1263
01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:37,910
没事请我喝汽水

1264
01:11:38,020 --> 01:11:39,920
我就知道你没安好心眼

1265
01:11:40,590 --> 01:11:42,250
我才不随便让人看

1266
01:11:55,270 --> 01:11:56,630
你也想偷看我？

1267
01:12:04,410 --> 01:12:05,210
尿慢一点

1268
01:12:07,510 --> 01:12:08,340
尿了没有？

1269
01:12:08,850 --> 01:12:09,640
正在尿

1270
01:12:10,150 --> 01:12:11,670
什么？这样也行

1271
01:12:19,430 --> 01:12:21,050
阿星，你让我一口气

1272
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:22,560
吃这么多烤蕃薯

1273
01:12:22,660 --> 01:12:24,360
还有这么些花生

1274
01:12:24,460 --> 01:12:25,690
够了没有？我受不了了

1275
01:12:26,100 --> 01:12:27,500
你再忍耐一下嘛

1276
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,160
等我把这玻璃圈弄好就好了

1277
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:33,340
不要光顾着吃，喝点水

1278
01:12:33,970 --> 01:12:34,960
还要喝水呀？

1279
01:12:38,710 --> 01:12:39,470
预备了

1280
01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:41,810
开始

1281
01:12:46,350 --> 01:12:47,510
祖师爷在上

1282
01:12:47,620 --> 01:12:48,420
弟子诚心祷告

1283
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:49,850
请祖师爷附身授法

1284
01:12:54,190 --> 01:12:55,060
来了

1285
01:12:59,830 --> 01:13:00,660
很好

1286
01:13:04,870 --> 01:13:06,270
继续

1287
01:13:06,370 --> 01:13:07,930
用力

1288
01:13:08,270 --> 01:13:10,070
再用一点力，继续

1289
01:13:14,350 --> 01:13:16,650
加油

1290
01:13:22,050 --> 01:13:22,880
憋着

1291
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:26,320
你的屁股能积这么多气

1292
01:13:26,430 --> 01:13:27,890
好像是在表演特技

1293
01:13:29,330 --> 01:13:30,760
继续

1294
01:13:34,770 --> 01:13:36,060
停，够了

1295
01:13:36,170 --> 01:13:37,600
我停不住呀

1296
01:13:48,110 --> 01:13:50,780
好臭啊

1297
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:52,580
谁不知道臭，我也不想这样

1298
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:54,550
糟了，全散了

1299
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:57,450
快帮忙把屁捞回来，快散光了

1300
01:13:59,460 --> 01:14:00,450
快点过来帮忙呀

1301
01:14:01,560 --> 01:14:03,530
快点.快点行不行？

1302
01:14:04,900 --> 01:14:05,690
干嘛？

1303
01:14:10,270 --> 01:14:12,430
这么臭你还含在嘴里，你还真厉害

1304
01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:28,850
神台猫屎

1305
01:14:33,590 --> 01:14:34,490
玉女尿

1306
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:40,720
大仙屁

1307
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:43,160
预备

1308
01:14:44,140 --> 01:14:45,000
好

1309
01:14:50,480 --> 01:14:51,940
成功了

1310
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:52,840
好极了

1311
01:14:52,950 --> 01:14:54,210
快带所有法宝去救阿标

1312
01:14:54,310 --> 01:14:54,940
好

1313
01:14:57,220 --> 01:14:57,910
都准备好了吗？

1314
01:14:58,020 --> 01:14:58,920
都准备好了

1315
01:14:59,690 --> 01:15:01,620
就这一个？你换把大的吧

1316
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:04,050
杀鸡焉需要牛刀，这把是足够了

1317
01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:04,680
行不行啊？

1318
01:15:04,790 --> 01:15:06,020
一定行的啦，走吧

1319
01:15:31,050 --> 01:15:32,020
真的在这里

1320
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:33,050
标叔，我们来救你了

1321
01:15:33,150 --> 01:15:34,680
少废话，快把他救出来

1322
01:15:45,330 --> 01:15:46,360
没反应

1323
01:15:46,470 --> 01:15:47,560
嘿

1324
01:15:47,930 --> 01:15:49,090
你怎么不嘿？

1325
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:51,230
嘿得太多，我怕观众不喜欢

1326
01:15:51,340 --> 01:15:52,100
也有道理

1327
01:15:52,510 --> 01:15:54,130
糟糕了，我们中计了

1328
01:15:54,240 --> 01:15:55,940
这个不是真的捉鬼精棺

1329
01:15:58,010 --> 01:15:59,270
你猜得不错

1330
01:15:59,380 --> 01:16:00,900
我只要用一个假棺材

1331
01:16:01,010 --> 01:16:02,910
就可以把你们千辛万苦找到的

1332
01:16:03,020 --> 01:16:05,110
破精棺法宝给毁了

1333
01:16:07,990 --> 01:16:11,120
真的精棺.在这儿

1334
01:16:16,100 --> 01:16:17,030
阿标

1335
01:16:19,100 --> 01:16:22,730
除非你们再去找一些破精棺的法宝

1336
01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:24,860
才能把那个死老鬼救回来

1337
01:16:25,140 --> 01:16:26,370
笨蛋不多了

1338
01:16:30,910 --> 01:16:31,970
他骂你笨蛋

1339
01:16:32,080 --> 01:16:34,340
还好，不过比他聪明一点

1340
01:16:36,580 --> 01:16:37,670
上

1341
01:16:38,650 --> 01:16:39,810
莫名其妙

1342
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:41,680
猪八戒的妈是怎么死的？

1343
01:16:41,790 --> 01:16:43,720
跟我作对，你找死哦

1344
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:44,890
你开枪啊

1345
01:16:44,990 --> 01:16:46,920
你一开枪让你变成马蜂窝

1346
01:16:47,330 --> 01:16:48,730
什么东西

1347
01:16:48,830 --> 01:16:50,690
你这个死老鬼还在我手上

1348
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,790
我就不信你能把我怎么样？

1349
01:16:52,900 --> 01:16:56,030
你想玩吗？好，来，哥哥我奉陪

1350
01:16:56,140 --> 01:16:57,430
我又没说要跟你玩

1351
01:17:05,480 --> 01:17:06,140
阿标

1352
01:17:06,750 --> 01:17:07,730
开枪

1353
01:17:15,150 --> 01:17:16,310
王八蛋

1354
01:17:18,790 --> 01:17:19,550
标叔

1355
01:17:26,730 --> 01:17:29,200
凭你这点小把戏就想对付我吗？

1356
01:17:33,970 --> 01:17:34,960
标叔

1357
01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:41,770
阿标你真行

1358
01:17:42,210 --> 01:17:43,180
标叔，帅呆了

1359
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:45,110
你掩护我，我去扁他

1360
01:17:53,730 --> 01:17:54,450
阿星

1361
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:56,090
阿星，你没事吧？

1362
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:57,960
标叔，你不是要掩护我吗？

1363
01:17:58,060 --> 01:17:58,790
我掩护个屁

1364
01:17:58,900 --> 01:18:00,300
我连自己都管不了了

1365
01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:01,370
你说什么？

1366
01:18:03,500 --> 01:18:04,330
来吧，阿标

1367
01:18:17,180 --> 01:18:19,170
阿标，该你出马了

1368
01:18:19,290 --> 01:18:20,880
他这么丑，我才不要呢

1369
01:18:41,740 --> 01:18:42,570
标叔，救我呀

1370
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:44,010
你再不出马，阿星挺不住了

1371
01:18:44,110 --> 01:18:44,840
我出什么马

1372
01:18:44,940 --> 01:18:46,100
我到现在还不知道我是男是女

1373
01:18:46,210 --> 01:18:47,410
标叔，救我呀

1374
01:18:47,510 --> 01:18:48,670
胡说八道什么你？

1375
01:18:49,010 --> 01:18:51,070
标叔，你怎么变这样子呢？

1376
01:18:51,180 --> 01:18:52,670
你这胡子好性感

1377
01:18:52,790 --> 01:18:54,880
拉拉扯扯的恶心死了

1378
01:18:56,860 --> 01:18:59,120
我受不了了

1379
01:19:05,560 --> 01:19:06,760
祖师爷大显威灵

1380
01:19:13,770 --> 01:19:14,600
扶苏剑

1381
01:19:17,140 --> 01:19:20,130
阿星，你有没有受伤？

1382
01:19:20,250 --> 01:19:22,870
标叔，你是不是叫人家给阉了？

1383
01:19:22,980 --> 01:19:23,710
让我看看

1384
01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:25,310
要死了，不要乱摸

1385
01:19:25,420 --> 01:19:26,650
很多人会看到的

1386
01:19:39,470 --> 01:19:41,430
本祖师跟你一决高下

1387
01:19:56,580 --> 01:19:58,640
好棒

1388
01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:04,450
怎么搞的，祖师爷不见了

1389
01:20:07,390 --> 01:20:08,490
糟了，他支持不住了

1390
01:20:09,860 --> 01:20:11,060
我不是叫你换把大的吗？

1391
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:12,600
你就是不听话嘛

1392
01:20:28,780 --> 01:20:30,340
妖孽，放开我的手

1393
01:20:31,450 --> 01:20:33,510
标叔，现在该怎么办？

1394
01:20:33,620 --> 01:20:34,950
我身上没有符

1395
01:20:35,050 --> 01:20:36,390
符？我有

1396
01:20:48,930 --> 01:20:49,920
怎么了？

1397
01:20:50,040 --> 01:20:52,400
有符也没用，连我都不灵了

1398
01:20:52,500 --> 01:20:53,270
还给你

1399
01:21:07,050 --> 01:21:12,390
屁股着火了，屁股着火了，快啊

1400
01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:19,390
你好像马拉度那

1401
01:21:19,770 --> 01:21:20,490
还来？

1402
01:21:21,270 --> 01:21:22,460
倒挂金勾

1403
01:21:23,370 --> 01:21:25,390
比利也不过如此，再来一个

1404
01:21:29,740 --> 01:21:30,540
太大了

1405
01:21:45,060 --> 01:21:46,020
把我的手解开

1406
01:21:48,930 --> 01:21:49,590
好了

1407
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:52,630
祖师不是说只要得到三样法宝

1408
01:21:52,730 --> 01:21:53,720
就可以替标叔解咒

1409
01:21:53,830 --> 01:21:54,860
怎么会不灵呢？

1410
01:21:54,970 --> 01:21:57,030
可能不是三样，是四样

1411
01:21:57,140 --> 01:21:57,970
四样？

1412
01:21:58,170 --> 01:21:58,900
你看那个德性？

1413
01:21:59,000 --> 01:22:00,300
一定少了童子尿了

1414
01:22:00,410 --> 01:22:02,930
童子尿？一定是那些被我抓掉

1415
01:22:03,040 --> 01:22:03,970
现在怎么办？

1416
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:05,870
快找个处男来尿尿

1417
01:22:07,650 --> 01:22:08,480
行，马上来

1418
01:22:13,690 --> 01:22:14,810
你到现在还是处男？

1419
01:22:21,930 --> 01:22:22,790
来了，童子尿

1420
01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:23,830
真的假的？

1421
01:22:23,930 --> 01:22:24,520
真的

1422
01:22:40,880 --> 01:22:41,640
把符给我

1423
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:43,900
接着

1424
01:22:47,520 --> 01:22:47,920
怎么办？

1425
01:22:48,020 --> 01:22:48,510
什么？

1426
01:22:48,620 --> 01:22:49,950
那个妖孽好厉害

1427
01:22:50,060 --> 01:22:50,950
先把这个拿开

1428
01:23:05,170 --> 01:23:07,100
这妖孽想跟我们同归于尽

1429
01:23:07,210 --> 01:23:08,040
那怎么办？

1430
01:23:08,140 --> 01:23:09,040
把铁板拿开

1431
01:23:16,750 --> 01:23:17,510
送我出去

1432
01:23:39,140 --> 01:23:40,300
阿标，你怎么了？

1433
01:23:41,310 --> 01:23:42,570
标叔，你没事吧？

1434
01:23:43,310 --> 01:23:44,800
祖师爷，鬼怎么会受伤的？

1435
01:23:44,910 --> 01:23:45,710
祖师爷早就走了

1436
01:23:45,810 --> 01:23:46,840
我怎么知道？

1437
01:23:47,580 --> 01:23:50,410
我现在魂魄不全，恐怕报不了仇了

1438
01:23:50,780 --> 01:23:51,710
阿标

1439
01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:54,810
邓李洋，带种的话你给我出来

1440
01:23:56,320 --> 01:23:57,550
阿玉

1441
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:01,090
你找我吗？我在这里

1442
01:24:01,190 --> 01:24:01,560
阿玉

1443
01:24:01,660 --> 01:24:02,090
不许动

1444
01:24:02,190 --> 01:24:03,350
把枪放下         阿玉

1445
01:24:05,330 --> 01:24:06,960
有种的就开枪

1446
01:24:07,070 --> 01:24:09,260
一个对一个，我没什么损失

1447
01:24:10,100 --> 01:24:11,090
把枪放下

1448
01:24:11,470 --> 01:24:14,960
快把枪放下，她是我女儿

1449
01:24:15,070 --> 01:24:17,600
不要放，放也是死，不放也是死

1450
01:24:20,880 --> 01:24:21,940
那怎么办？

1451
01:24:22,050 --> 01:24:23,040
现在全要靠你了

1452
01:24:23,480 --> 01:24:24,280
靠我？

1453
01:24:25,620 --> 01:24:26,710
把枪放下

1454
01:24:27,820 --> 01:24:31,280
快，把枪放下，放下

1455
01:24:32,660 --> 01:24:33,490
拼了

1456
01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:47,640
阿玉

1457
01:24:47,740 --> 01:24:49,140
阿玉，你醒醒

1458
01:24:49,510 --> 01:24:50,840
我的仇总算报了

1459
01:24:52,040 --> 01:24:52,600
爸

1460
01:24:52,710 --> 01:24:53,740
阿玉

1461
01:24:53,980 --> 01:24:57,310
我的心愿已了，我要回去报到了

1462
01:24:58,850 --> 01:24:59,280
来

1463
01:24:59,380 --> 01:25:00,080
标叔

1464
01:25:01,620 --> 01:25:03,250
还有什么事？

1465
01:25:03,360 --> 01:25:04,580
我送你

1466
01:25:04,690 --> 01:25:07,490
我是去上天堂，又不是去旅行

1467
01:25:07,590 --> 01:25:09,080
你跟着去送死啊？

1468
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:12,490
说的也是，那改天见了

1469
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:14,830
改天见？那你可有得等了

1470
01:25:14,930 --> 01:25:15,760
放心好了

1471
01:25:15,870 --> 01:25:17,700
要跟你见面，我也是第一个

1472
01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:20,000
再过不了多久我一定会来找你的了

1473
01:25:20,440 --> 01:25:20,930
再见了

1474
01:25:21,040 --> 01:25:22,130
你自己慢慢走了

1475
01:25:23,610 --> 01:25:25,840
清明别忘了给我烧纸钱

1476
01:25:26,710 --> 01:25:28,180
一路顺风

1477
01:25:28,550 --> 01:25:29,510
有空来信

1478
01:25:29,620 --> 01:25:31,210
想上天堂，不行啊

1479
01:25:31,320 --> 01:25:33,310
为什么？已经证明我是好人了

1480
01:25:33,420 --> 01:25:34,680
为什么不能上天堂？

1481
01:25:34,790 --> 01:25:36,190
现在天堂的移民配额

1482
01:25:36,290 --> 01:25:37,450
全部都已经满了

1483
01:25:37,560 --> 01:25:41,750
想来这儿，凭你的条件，恐怕很难

1484
01:25:41,860 --> 01:25:42,990
那怎么办？

1485
01:25:43,460 --> 01:25:44,950
你可以投资

1486
01:25:45,060 --> 01:25:46,550
做个投资人还可以插队

1487
01:25:46,670 --> 01:25:47,890
你有没有带钱哪？

1488
01:25:48,430 --> 01:25:50,770
惨了，这次我没带纸钱来

1489
01:25:50,870 --> 01:25:52,270
没钱啊

1490
01:25:52,370 --> 01:25:54,400
那只有下地狱了，下面不收钱的

1491
01:25:57,610 --> 01:25:58,800
谁是张标？收货

1492
01:26:00,250 --> 01:26:01,040
我就是

1493
01:26:05,920 --> 01:26:07,710
是谁那么聪明知道我需要这钱

1494
01:26:10,460 --> 01:26:11,220
是你们？

1495
01:26:11,790 --> 01:26:12,480
谢了

1496
01:26:14,130 --> 01:26:16,030
天堂之门为你而开

1497
01:26:17,960 --> 01:26:19,430
总是要为你设想嘛

1498
01:26:19,530 --> 01:26:21,190
走，我请你们吃午饭去

1499
01:26:21,300 --> 01:26:22,320
好

1500
01:26:24,700 --> 01:26:25,600
这里的饭能吃吗？

1501
01:26:25,700 --> 01:26:26,570
我正想问你

1502
01:26:26,670 --> 01:26:27,660
你自己慢慢吃吧

1503
01:26:27,770 --> 01:26:29,740
就是啊，拜拜

1504
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,540
别走