HOTEL DELUXE
Welcome to...
Hundred Stars Hotel at Xianshan Peninsula of Thousand Island!
Ladies and gentlemen,
a hotel is like a box of chocolates...
...you never know what you're going to get!
International guests from around the world
pass this lobby everyday
and there are 365 rooms here
meaning
there are 365 stories
happening right here, right now
and all of them are, in one way or another, linked to this guy right here...
Hi there
Yes!
What's a good local restaurant around here?
Here in Chun-an county...
you must try "The Fish Pot" of Thousand Island fame
Tell them OK Pao sent you
discount on the spot, and a free fish head dish
Thank you, thank you...
Thank YOU
Take care now.
Mr. Pierre Cardin!
Good morning, good morning (French)
How are you? (French)
Good evening (French)
Very good, very well (French)
Good night! No tips? (French)
Good evening, goodbye (French)
Goodbye! Goodbye! (French)
Goodnight! Goodnight! (French)
Good morning! (French)
Hey! N!xau!
Are you looking to check-in?
(gibberish)
You can speak Cantonese!
You're really something...
Nice outfit!
Yeah? I got it from Mongkok.
Mongkok?
What bus did you take?
MTR, then by taxi.
That's amazing!
- Welcome! - Welcome to our hotel!
Here's your tip!
Thank you, Miss Chan.
Are the Seahorse mattresses ready?
We're done with all the other floors.
Already?
Okay! Spot checks!
Miss Peach, isn't it spotless?
Not quite...
Curtains!
Yes!
Wow, it's...beautiful!
Those are dust bunnies!
Unveil the secret weapon!
This is The World's Most Amazing Vacuum Cleaner.
The lowest setting will do.
AMAZING!
Fatty...
Bring your escorted tours here,
I'll take care of you myself!
I'll tell Chua Lam that we're full, okay?
Look at our new hotel...
Fabulous lake view, low-carbon emissions...
State-of-the-art facilities, bright and clean...
We're SO beyond five stars.
Is that so
Your hardware is worthy of five stars...
But your software - your staff - are
all four stars only, you know
Did you see your online reviews?
The "dislikes" are in my FACE.
We don't care about that crap...
A client of yours asked for a 7am morning call
You guys called her at noon!
This is a resort...
so we let her sleep some more... and...
it's boring here that early..
Fine. You had a client who smoked in his room
And Miss Peach Tin made him cry!
How could she?
You KNOW smoking isn't allowed in the rooms!
He made a burn in the carpet too
You know how OCD Peachy is
He should be thanking his stars she didn't beat him up
Mr. OK Pao.
I've stuck by you throughout
your four star career till now
I should really be Friend of the Year.
You know what they used to call my tours?
"Excitement Before It Happens"
...and now because of you, it's
"Refunds Before It Happens"
...how can you be so shameless!
If Chua Lam wants your rooms,
Give them to him, I don't want them.
No! Fatty!
Save me, Fatty!
We're this close to hitting our fiscal target this month
If we can't make the numbers, we'll all get sacked!
Save me, Fatty!
Help...
Okay, okay. Stop it.
I get all softie when you cry like that.
I don't have ten tours...
I'll bring in four or five and you try it out, okay?
Two or three is enough, just about hits the mark...
Four or five is too much, Fatty!
You jerkwad...
Quality not quantity, Fatty!
DON'T call me Fatty any more, I've lost all the weight for YEARS now.
Dang girl, you be rake thin like a homeless pup!
Bark a little.
Woof!
Okay! Daily meeting!
What's new in F&B?
Last night at the VIP party...
...they all got drunk...
no one counted how much they ordered, so...
There are two bottles of
vintage 2000 Dom Perignon..
...sitting in my locker...
...and they're ours!
Yes!
Alright, seriously now...
Peachy“.
Any problems in Housekeeping?
Why do you think there might be problems?
Just... asking...
Sorry, don't mind me, have some chocolate.
How about Reception?
L...checked in Da Wah by mistake...
Damn!
Why did you let him check in?
Ugh, Why!
They call him "Da Wail" for a reason you know...
Shuts himself in hotels for weeks before every stand-up show
and if he's got creative block he'll cut himself...
He's been blacklisted by the industry long ago!
How could you let him in?
But he looked so sad!
More the reason why you shouldn't have done it!
Yesterday he looked kinda rough.
So I talked to him for a bit...
Don't do anything silly
Let me tell you a joke..
It's hilarious...
Do you know what's the name of the book that
Consists of all seven volumes of the Harry Potter series?
"Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!"
After that, I saw him chug the entire bottle of whisky.
This looks like a serious case of Da Wail,
don't think he'll make it tonight
I gave him a room on the 1st floor,
he can't die from that height if he jumps
When I cleaned his room
I took away all the sharps, even the curtain cords...
But he is here for seven days...
How can we get rid of him?
Look at this...
I'm a really jittery person,
the doctor calls this...
"The Ultimate Scaredy McScareson... "
Scares-aphobia Scare-city...
Scare-nacious Syndrome."
"This Syndrome..."
Looks like a scaredy cat to me...
Let's scare him away!
Room 108, Turn up the AC please!
He'll be scared witless with the "Mop Ghost"
Not quite yet...
All I do is "woo", that's not very scary!
I can't open my eyes either..
Can you move around a little?
Ok! No problem!
One, two, three!
Oh no!
Under the leadership of our Assistant Manager, OK Pao The Great,
we have successfully gotten rid of Da Wail.
Cheers to our Assistant Manager!
It was a team effort!
Let's toast!
Yes!
By the way
I heard that the position of
the Executive has been filled
Really?
It's got to be you, Manager Pao!
How shall we celebrate?
Ok!
The day of my promotion, I'll treat everyone to...
Crab claws!
I'll come over to open the door for you...
That's alright, you take your time.
Take a rest first.
"There is one match found."
"28.3"
"To Fire?"
"Fired."
"Goodbye."
Better days from here onwards once I am promoted.
Look after me, ok?
The email says you're not the one promoted!
No way! Who else can it be?
Cruella Koo? Why would you name your child like that?
Looks like her father wasn't all there in the head.
Don't say that.
Maybe it was her mother
I would like to check in!
Hello Miss, your documents please.
What was the new executive called again?
Cruella Koo.
Just Ko please, no double "o"...
Just Cruel please, no "la"...
I'll swear off meat for this!
Easy now... easy...
Miss Cruella Koo!
Yes, and my mother named me that.
She must have been a poetess
Welcome... welcome...
I've come up with this app
that gives me your rankings
when it comes to your work performance here
If it's less than 50, you'll be
fired!
"55"
That was close.
Run!
"62"
Sammy got 62 points.
"63"
Jessica got 63 points.
But that guy over there...
GO up!
Up!
Go over!
Over!
"SO"
That was SO SCARY
It's okay now, it's okay...
The check-in time for a five-star hotel
From the moment a guest walks in the door
is an international standard of 30 seconds.
It took you 60.
Do you know that this vast difference
of 30 seconds can change the world?
If Newton walked over to the apple tree 30 seconds later than he did
he would just be some dude who ate an apple
and the concept of gravity would never have been realized.
I am a five-star quality manager
and I will not allow you four-star sheep
to wreck my reputation.
Can you stop that? I'm speaking.
We have set cleaning times.
Can you not...
Call our team "sheep"?
There is only staff here, there is no team
The golden rule of management:
Management and staff is strictly business, no personal feelings.
Are you THE Peach Tin, the one who
has the record
unstable work performance?
Average it out, it's very stable.
I pass, and that's fine with me.
Excuse me.
Wanna bet? Let's see who gives way.
Whoever loses treats us all to that 80's Karaoke bar around the corner
They don't even have remote controllers there
All the more to go have a look-see!
Forty dollars, Cruella Koo wins.
What? She's not one of us!
Who cares? She's bitchy enough!
I'm going for Peachy!
That's a dumb move.
Dumb or not, she's got the balls.
Okay, I have my doubts now.
Wanna change your mind?
Can I?
' Be Quiet!!! - Shut Up!
Sorry! Sorry!
This hotel is ranked number 18 in the district
I will make it number 1 within 3 months.
Starting from tomorrow.
I have arranged for a film crew to shoot here
for one week
Starting today, all leaves will be canceled
and we will serve them during this time.
Most importantly we serve those stars...
so they will speak well of us to the media
And, we must make them
Spend spend Spend!
How ferocious.
I am, indeed.
If no one's got questions, continue on with your work.
Meeting tomorrow morning at six.
Goodbye!
I really want to slap her.
With a bus.
That's a great idea.
Audrey Audrey I love you...
Marilyn Marilyn we support you...
Audrey is just beautiful, her smile is so lovely...
Marilyn over here...
she shot to fame after some dumb commercial.
She's got a nasty attitude and
she's on the tabloids all the time
President Suite!
We only have one President Suite...
Give it to me!
I'm sorry...
Our President Suite is under renovation...
But I have arranged for two...
identical Grand Suites for the two ladies..
I'm the Executive Manager, Cruella Koo
I will be serving you, Miss Audrey...
I just love your smile...
Because I love smiling myself.
The saying goes,
"A Smile Makes The World A Better Place"
Yes!
Smiling can change the world and warm the heart.
Yes!
That's our Assistant Manager OK Pao.
He will be serving Miss Marilyn.
Hello Miss Marilyn.
I'll take you to your room.
OK.
This way, please.
This way please.
Please wait!
Excuse me, I'm sorry...
Thank you...
It's okay...
Aren't you...Miss Audrey?
Yes.
Oh I LOVE you!
Thank you...
Could you take a picture with my baby?
Yes of course
That's great!
Let me take it.
Ok!~Thank you...
There you go.
Thank you.
- This is great! - Thank you! So cute!
Goodbye...
Bye...
What the fudge? Why did you press open?
Do you not know I'm VIP?
You wanted me to be in the same elevator as them?
And you too!
You know how much I hate babies
They smell like spoiled milk.
Do you know how much this costs?
More than a full year of your salary!
I'm sorry, I...
Since you'll be tending to me this entire week..
I don't mind showing you my true side...
But.. don't you go wagging your tongue now...
Of course not
Have you ever had your house on fire for no reason?
No...
I will keep my mouth shut of course.
Audrey Audrey I love you!
Audrey...
Hush, you must all be quiet,
don't disturb others, okay?
Okay! Okay!
Bye bye!
Miss Marilyn..
This is our Grand Suite.
What is she doing?
Don't bother her meditating, she will go crazy if you do.
Sweetie, your schedule has changed...
3pm, photo shoot...
4pm, script meeting with director...
5pm, you...
Why is there a Mutated Mickey here?
I saw it on your Weibo, you said you liked it
So I got it for you...
Wait a minute...your name is OK Pao
Are you my Weibo fan "Pao Oh Kay"
My name was jumbled and you still recognized me!
Last year when I got the Newcomer Award
You wrote me a poem
Yes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Marilyn is the best
so it sucks to be you!
I did good didn't I
You really remembered
Thank you...
if it weren't for my fans,
I don't know where I'd be now.
Don't doubt yourself
You can do it!
Anyway, you look famished.
The fish heads here are a delicacy
I know you have a sweet tooth.
So I thought of a dish for you..
Crystallized Sweet Fish Head!
I'm tired.
I'll leave you to rest now, Miss Marilyn.
Let me know if I can help you with anything!
Hey...
Yes...
Actually I'm kinda hungry.
Why don't you get one of those
Crystallized Fish Heads for me then.
OK! OK! OK!
It's coming out!!!!
Please come in...
Oh my god it's poking out of my ass...
That way...
It's poking out!
It's coming out!
Well goodness, that was an award-winning performance
just now in the elevator by Miss Audrey, wasn't it?
She was a gangster way back when.
They called her
The Jordan Road Bitch.
Anyway, let's have someone take away that stand over there
I want to put a crystal there, for luck.
Some peach blossoms here, for fortune.
I know that Miss Audrey loves her fine cuisine
I have prepared for her our gourmet caviar and champagne
It's being brought here now
No thanks.
I know what you're up to.
You want us to spend money on room service? We don't want it!
We have enough instant noodles to feed an army
You will sign for the peach blossom tree.
OH HELL.
Your turf, your problem.
What's the matter, Miss Audrey?
My diamond earring fell into the toilet bowl!
I will have someone come over right away.
Jesus what a party.
I had hot pot this morning.
Weren't you just on a flight?
I can't have hot pot on a plane?
Miss Koo, this should really be an Engineering Dept. thing
I don't care which department you get
Just get a hand in there and pick it out!
It's not that I can't do it...
But Miss Koo here said that rules are rules
So we have to follow the book.
Did you really say something that stupid?
Our hotel does have its own policy...
Miss Audrey it would be best for you to stay out of this.
Oh I'm staying out of this for sure.
I'm asking for you two to fish out my earring!
According to our hotel policy...
there is nothing that concerns me here...
I am going back to work.
So it's you then.
I will go grab some gloves.
What gloves?
Just dig in.
Excuse me!
There.
Miss Koo.
Your earring should be in there.
Go fish it out yourself now.
It's not right for me to go through your personal belongings.
Miss Audrey it would be best if you did it yourself.
If there is nothing else, that will be all.
You don't have to thank me.
It's not for you! It's for the hotel!
I'm not going to thank you.
Of course, it's for the hotel only!
That's what I mean! Why do you have to repeat it?
That's what I mean!
When did I repeat it? You're the one who repeated it!
"Hey I just met you..."
"And this is crazy...but here's..."
"my number...so..."
Take a chill pill, Phil.
Oh my god.
Marilyn hugged me yesterday.
Just a "go away" will do
You didn't have to add "the fudge" in the middle.
Don't tell everybody!
No one would believe it even if I did.
Hey Peachy.
So a film crew is here to shoot, eh.
Do you think this will springboard
my acting career?
You all know...
I'm just a born natural.
Just a simple "grow up" will do
You didn't have to add "the fudge" in the middle.
I'm going to fight for my spot no matter what
When I'm famous one day you won't be getting my autograph.
You're crazy!
Let's ask her over.
Look at her
Such an attitude!
Reading English, red wine...
High class executive, huh?
If she comes over here
I'll leave.
I think it's all a facade.
Underneath all that, she's just a little girl at heart.
I think it's so pretentious.
Look at her. She eats like a cow.
She's looking at you!
It's YOU!
YOU!
You...
YOU!!!
OK Pao!
Yes!
Come make the rounds with me!
Be right there!
Make the rounds? What is she, the police?
Don't die on the job now!
Don't fall in love!
Just a simple "shut up " will do -
You didn't have to add "the fudge" in the middle.
What?
Good work! Let's do this! Shoot something good!
Why is it any of your business?
We have to support the Hong Kong film industry.
This is the difference between four stars and five stars.
This is good for you, so listen
and listen well:
Confucius said, "if it's not your position, you don't tend to the affairs"
The ultimate management is...
If it concerns you, you do your best...
If it doesn't concern you, no matter how hard you try,
it doesn't concern you.
So if it's none of your business, don't tend to it
If it's none of your business, don't touch it!
Did you get that?
Yes
Where?
Here!
Remember it here!!
Tell me you get it.
I do.
Smile!
You're not exactly blessed in looks you know...
Try to smile...
Yes! Just like that!
Keep smiling, keep this smile!
Are you okay?
I'm sorry, let me help you...
I got you all dirty.
Are you kidding?
Do you have any common sense?
How could you go save her and not the light?
Lights will break, but she will be fine!
Miss Koo, are you alright?
I was so scared for you!
So why didn't you save me just now?
I thought you would die for sure!
No I mean... I reacted too slowly, so I couldn't make it.
I don't want to see you! Scram!
This is bad!
Do you need work?
Yes
I'm here all the way from Dong Bei...
I just joined crew for two days... oh no!
OK Pao!
coming!
Hire him as our Security Manager.
Manager?
Go register at Human Resources.
Thank you! Thank you!
Miss Koo you have an icy exterior but a big warm heart.
He moves fast
and that position has been vacant for so long
Just give him a third of what we used to give the previous manager
He'll be thrilled!
Genius!
I learned so much today!
So the camera will pan over here...
You help me run background...
Come take a look at the framing...
Who is this?
Sir! Sir!
We can see you in the shot, please move over a little.
Yew.!
Yes, just like that...
Yes, that's great!
Yes, just like that on the day, okay?
Sir!
We see you again!
Me? How can that be?
Yes,yes
Sir, please. That way.
This way?
No, no. That way.
Which way?
THERE.
Scene 12, Shot 4, Take 1!
Action!
Hey! What are you doing?
Mr. Director, allow me...
I'm good looking, and I am a born actor
It would be a pity to let this one go
Don't be fooled by all this flab
Actually it's all muscle right here
My uniform's just in the way
Touch me, see for yourself.
Don't come over here!
No, please touch me.
Touch my man chest. It's amazing.
You'll like it.
STAND RIGHT THERE!
Somebody come beat him up!
Nice.
Actually. I'm the top student of
Ip Man of Wing Chun.
I can take you.
Come on!
I'll kill you!
Mr. Director! Mr. Director!
Don't be mad, don't be mad.
Have some ginseng tea.
This is ginseng tea?
Top grade.
I'll take care of this jerkwad over here.
Go away! Go!
I despise your kind
Putting me down with my superior, huh?
Go away!
I'll be back tomorrow
So... Mr. Director...
What's the story about?
You want to know?
Sure I do.
Let me tell you then.
The film is called "I Love You, My Dear"
It's about Marilyn who falls in love with our main actor
But she finds out that they are blood siblings
But she falls in love anyway
But then the main actor finds out he has a terminal disease...
And so does Marilyn!
Wow, it's a real comedy.
tragedy!
I'm sorry.
It's a take on those Korean soap dramas, women love it.
Mr. Director! Mr. Director!
Our main actor partied all night long
He has a massive hangover now and can't shoot.
What to do?
Go stand in front of his door
and knock every five minutes! Go!
Ok! On my way!
Hey buddy, have you acted before?
Nope.
Are you interested?
Your backside looks strikingly
similar to our main actor...
Why don't we do this
Go change, and come stand right here
Let me shoot you over the shoulder and get Marilyn's close up, yes?
I'll be acting with Miss Marilyn?
Hi!
That's amazing...
Yes?
Here! Go change immediately!
- Come! - Okay, okay
Not bad!
Mr. Director.
You said this was a take on KOREAN soap dramas?
So why a werewolf?
Just Korean dramas are not enough nowadays.
You have to have vampires and werewolves.
You know. Twilight stuff.
That's where it's at!
Then why shorts?
I'm freezing!
That's my call, isn't it?
I'm just shooting you over the shoulder.
So what's this then?
Put that away.
The real set is amazing.
Yours is just a dummy set, obviously.
Don't lose them now
Hello.
Why are you so hilarious?
Am I? Will this get in your way?
No
Just follow my lines when we shoot
and just be natural.
Understand?
Let's get shooting, shall we?
Okay!
Action!
Cut! What's going on over there?
I'm sorry, Mr. Director.
I'm sorry, let's go again.
Pay attention!
Alright everybody, going again!
Stop making that face! Close your eyes!
Action!
I have something to confess.
When I first saw you,
I've fallen for you.
Candid! Cut! Good take!
Are you okay?
Are you alright?
It just hurts, I didn't bleed.
You're not hurt?
How can this happen?
I had to capture your honest reaction!
Are you crazy? You could have killed him!
Your acting sucks!
I had to do this in order to get your candid expression!
Stop arguing, both of you
How are you, shall we get you checked out at the hospital?
No, no...
I'll be fine after a foot massage.
At least I got to help you
If you really didn't get hurt...
That shot was perfect.
But I wanted to do another just for safety.
You're out of your mind! I'm busy!
Are you really okay?
OK!
Hit me over the head, I didn't even get a red packet.
God bless me.
Pao Pao!
Bo Bo!
Bo Bo! Bo Bo!
Bo Bo!
Here! Over here!
Bo Bo! Bo Bo!
Be careful! Careful!
Come here!
How are you?
And you?
I'm good, and you?
I'm excellent, and you?
You got big.
Of course, I work out now!
Did you miss me?
So much!
In your last postcard, you said you
Went to Iceland for Taekwondo lessons
Yes, but the Master...
he went to the hot springs, so he wasn't there
But you MUST go to Iceland
There is nothing there
But the sky is really blue, and the air is so icy
When you breathe
it's like your lungs just had peppermint candy.
That's so cool
I can just look at the sky from here
I've never been to New York, and I've never skied.
That's not a bad piece of sky right there.
But if you have a chance
You have to go look at other pieces of skies.
Don't you have to work?
I'll just pretend I've been to places
looking at stickers on people's luggages.
Oh yes...
What is it?
Actually I'm here because I need your help.
Don't worry!
Bo Bo's problem is Pao Pao's problem!
I will help you for sure!
OK!
I'm sure you all recognize this guest,
Someone who has been our customer since our
four-star days at our previous establishment.
My good brother, Miss Bo Bo Mo-Yung.
She's here because she needs some help.
I'm the first one to say yes!
Miss Bo Bo always keeps her room clean and neat
I love her.
It's all very simple really.
My father left me an inheritance
but my uncle is in charge of it all
I can only inherit this fortune
after I get married.
That's it?
Your uncle's a wicked one
He wants all your family fortune!
Yes!
Not only has he cut my monthly expenses,
He has been up to his tricks in the company
I think he wants the entire company to himself
See? I called it! Totes.
So I have to find someone to marry me right away
in order to inherit the fortune
So that it doesn't fall into my uncle's hands.
But your uncle won't approve of your marriage.
You don't have to worry about that.
The will states that
as long as I have my grandparents' approval,
my uncle has no say!
So what's the problem?
I have to find a decoy fiancé
That's easy
You guys are real buddies, right? Solved.
Look at me!
It's not convincing whatsoever
her grandparents will never fall for it!
And I'm the Assistant Manager. I'm in the lobby all the time.
I'm recognizable.
Don't worry, Bo Bo.
We're all behind you on this.
We'll help you set this straight.
Enough!
Do I not exist?
You guys are attempting to pull off what seems like a fake marriage to me.
This will most certainly not happen
within my management.
Bo Bo
What's the budget for your wedding?
Budget-wise... that won't be a problem.
I have nothing but money.
So.. I don't have a budget!
So I can mark up all the wines
and champagnes to 150%?
Too bad Miss Koo won't let us do this...
Bo Bo
Let's do your wedding at the motel next door...
and give them your business!
You can stop all the acts.
What I'm hearing is that Miss Mo-Yung here
would like to hold the grandest, biggest wedding ever!
I didn't hear anything else.
In simple terms...
I take all the glory, you guys can do all the chores.
That's it.
So where shall we start?
The decoy husband. Let's go.
No way...
Both tall AND short!
No, no, no, no...
This is good stuff!!
Bo Bo, Bo Bo...
I wanted to find you someone special...
for your grandparents...
But you don't like any of them...
Why don't you tell me what you want!
Okay.
I want someone who is honest..
Not weird...
Someone who won't want my money
even after he marries me
Go find him for me!
If there is someone that honest
I'll chop off my balls.
Hello
I don't want tips
This is my responsibility.
Just a little then.
No you are too kind.
I really don't want it.
Okay... okay then.
Crazy!
Do it!
Plastic knife?
Out Of my way!
It's not that I don't want to let you pass!
It's that I can't!
Go!
Peachy! Miss Peach!
Someone is changing your linens!
Who would dare?
Why are you changing my linens, Sir?
I have to use my own!
No! This is our policy!
Even though a bit old
still has that girlish quality...
Come again?
Even though a bit old...
the other line!
Still has that girlish quality...
You have good taste.
I'm sorry, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...
When I'm nervous I relax
When I relax I...
say everything from my heart...
I'm not new to your kind..
It's nothing.
I'll be cleaning your room from now on.
I'll help you rearrange it all.
Clean and neat, orderly.
Thank you.
Why is there only red?
I only eat the reds.
And I only eat the yellows.
That's great.
I'll save you the yellow ones from now on.
You give me the red ones.
It's great we get along so well!
Not that well.
Don't touch it!
Isn't this better?
Yes
Just right, just right...
That looks better, actually.
Yes, it's great. Really great.
Miss Peach
I'm having dinner with my relatives in a bit
If you have time, I would love it if..
You joined me for dinner.
I don't know them! Why should I go?
Please don't get the wrong idea...
I'm a weird guy
It's so hard for me to come across...
Someone that I get along with, that's all.
And you can... help me.
Uncle.
Uncle?
This is my favorite niece, Bo Bo.
Uncle.
Have a seat!
Why is Peachy there?!
How do I know?
My name is.. Peach Tin...
I just met your uncle...
and I'm here to help...
...help! Ohhh... That's... cool.
This is Mark Lui.
He is my fiancé.
They call me "The Prince".
You? A Prince?
That's what it says on the fact sheet.
Bo Bo
This guy is kind of a goof.
What do you like about him?
He has a great smile
And an honest face.
The best kind of husband there is.
He wouldn't cheat even if a hooker landed on his face.
A hooker... what?
I just.. made that up, okay.
Yes...
I just love your smile, darling.
How did you meet?
2011, June 28th, 3:12am...
No no... It was...
6:12pm...
in...
France...
Paris... Charles De Gaulle Airport!
Holy shizzles!
SILLY!
Why are you ALWAYS so FORGETFUL!
Look at him
He looks like a... boy toy
Boy toy? Boy toys are great!
They're so.. full of... LIFE...
A lot of art guys are boy toys.
Why are you the only one here?
Where are your parents?
My parents?
Everything on that fact sheet was about you
Nothing on it was about me
Be creative!
They're on their way.
Oh HELL NO.
What do we do now?
Just. Great.
Where y'all gonna to find a set of parents?
I'm Mark Lui's mother.
Where's Mark Lui Senior?
He walks slow, he's almost here.
There he is.
If it weren't for the hotel
I would never be a part of this mess.
If Peachy didn't come here with Uncle
We wouldn't have gotten you involved, Miss Koo.
We're on the same boat now
It's Oscar time.
Dad, have a seat.
Numbnuts!
You and your mouth!
We were in such a HURRY and all.
Mom, please have a seat.
You idiot!
You couldn't say your parents DIED?
You HAD to say we were on our way, ON OUR WAY!
Ah yes, Miss Peach
What is so funny?
Can you share it with the rest of us?
He... looks like Andy Lau in "Lee Rock"...
I've always looked up to Andy Lau
It's not a coincidence that I look like him
Mrs Lui, you're pretty amazing
A son so old...
For someone so young like you.
Look at my beauty mark, and my pursed lips.
I'm the stepmother.
Stepmother? She's just some frilly thing
that I picked up years ago...
Just to toy around with...
That's right...
No matter what position you're in...
You don't have to show such a face...
A lot of people admire where you are, you know...
Why of course!
It takes qualifications!
What kind of qualifications do you have?
Look at you now...
You're withered! Look at those flabs!
She won't leave, and she's after my money...
Let me show you something...
Here, look...
Look at that!
Shake em' buns, do you see that?
Back and forth...
Ooh, do it again, do it again!
Just like jelly!
Squiggle squiggle!
Look at that!
Enough!
Since we're all in high spirits...
shall we toast?
Drink UP!
I can't drink.
You won't drink?
That's just rude!
Ok! I'll drink, I'll drink!
Bottoms up!
He can't hold his liquor!
Are you okay?
Don't you throw up!
Hold it down, hold it down...
Here!
I'll give you this...
Vomit in there...
Don't throw it up everywhere!
I'll bring you... to the bathroom...
I'll shut you in there...
You can throw up in there all you want...
Don't...
Pffft!
Big guy can't hold a small glass, eh?
Alright, alright now...
Here, over here...
Here we are...
You go do your business in the bathroom okay?
I'll have to clean up that elevator...
What the? Uncle is going to frame him!
What are you doing? You're going to frame my friend!
Obviously!
We will not let you do that here!
What are you doing?
Don't come over here!
What is it?
Don't you come over!
What is this?
You know kung-fu?
Don't you come over!
Don't come over here!
Help!
Look at her, just look!
What a wicked witch!
Help! I'm in Room 556!
Help me! Hurry!
For real?
What's the matter?
Nothing, I... just remembered...
I said I'd meet someone...
I gotta go say hi now.
Don't you go anywhere...
I'll be back and teach you how to face-read
No, it's okay...
You're not here yet! Where ARE you?
Hurry UP!
My character design has somewhat of a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY
I CAN'T hurry. I'm trying.
Give me a minute.
Uncle, let's talk about the money...
Uncle, Uncle...
It's really late now...
Why don't you go rest in your room...
No!
I am worried about my niece's fiancé,
I have to go check up on him!
My son will be fine after a nap, Uncle
No, no, no! I must go have a look at him
No it's alright...
You?
Where's Mark Lui?
He let me borrow his room
He's at the sauna now
Didn't you say you had to go say hi?
Hi?
Was I supposed to tell you I came here to cheat on my wife?
Yes! He is right!
Mrs Lui, your husband is cheating on you!
How can you be so calm?
It's about time you get mad!
Yes...
You scoundrel, how could you!
How could you cheat on me! How could you do this to me?
I'm telling you, just hit me twice, tops.
Don't be a dirty opportunist.
Oh don't you worry.
Of course I will.
Frilly thing, huh? FLABS, huh?
Frilly thing? Here's your frilly thing!
Flabs, flabs flabs! Wrinkles and tinkles, huh?
- Here you go, there's your flab. - ENOUGH!
- You feel that? You feel my flab? - Go to hell!
I'm sorry! Miss Koo!
You took the chance to kick me
You kneel there until I tell you it's okay!
Miss Koo, I kicked you just once...
You socked me about thirty punches!
Don't touch my pork!
Miss Koo, come have some.
Ma La hot pot this early in the morning?
Are you guys Crazy?
We've been in overtime everyday lately
This is the only time we can have hot pot
Miss Koo
Rub some of this cream, it's a family recipe
Bruises go away real quick
You hurt your chest, too
You know... it can increase bust size...
I don't need that
Every woman says they don't need it
How many of them REALLY don't need it?
Sorry I forgot...
Clockwise- smaller
Anti-clockwise - bigger!
Really?
I'm kidding.
If it were true...
Look at me!
But yeah, it really takes the bruises away.
Alright! I'm up for two fish balls
Moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips.
I know my Uncle too well.
His failure to frame King
will not stop him!
I think
We need to send Uncle away, as far as we can
so that he won't bother us
l-low?
Peachy
Here's a gift for you
Who's Peter Chan?
That's my uncle!
He handpicked an entire jar...
of yellow chocolate candies for you...
looks like he really likes you.
Get back over there!
Help us, Peachy...
Let's play it up
You can seduce him
Yes, play him UP
Take him away, FAR away.
Looks like you guys are playing ME up instead.
Peachy, please!
No way!
Great.
They couldn't come up with something else.
Being at sea means we're STUCK here.
It is a truly beautiful day
to be with someone you love...
Hold up, buddy!
We just friends okay?
I mean...
Acquaintances.
We just passed by each other, to be honest.
Of course, of course.
I just blabbed my mouth..
I hope you don't mind...
Under this sun
My face is all sunburnt...
I know that ladies really don't like the sun
Luckily I came prepared
Thank you.
MY eye!
I'm sure it's that OK Pao
Looks like it's cut
Did you do this?
Of course not!
So it's an accident?
Of course it is!
There's no signal...
Let's just row this thing by hand over there
and wait for rescue on that deserted island
But it's just us two there...
Miss Peach
Would you mind?
Of course I do!
Help!
What's the use of this torch in the daylight?
Who will see you?
Hey! Stay on your side!
What do you want?
Nothing... I...
I'll beat you up if you come any closer!
Peachy“.
You can't be hot with me one moment, and cold the next!
When have I ever been "hot" to you?
You were giving me signals just now
What signal!
That was sun block in my eye!
So you didn't arrange for us to...
get stranded here?
Of course not!
This is bad!
Peachy, are you hungry?
I had hot pot this morning, but...
You got me in the middle of nowhere
before I had a chance to eat my ham!
Alright, let me go look around for food.
Don't you go anywhere!
That's a lot of mushrooms and fruit!
Wait!
Does it taste better this way?
No
It's just that I don't feel quite right
if things aren't arranged in order.
I have this urge to make it all neat.
I'm weird, aren't I?
I am too.
My linens HAVE to be folded at 45 degrees.
I have to touch the wall when I'm walking.
When I shop, I have to buy in pairs.
I use single count in toilet paper!
Or I just can't... go.
By the time you use it, aren't you done?
I count before I go.
You seem too aloof to be an evil villain.
You know... I love Bo Bo very much.
That's why I must stop this marriage.
You're crazy.
Your COLLEAGUES are crazy.
Putting up that stupid act.
Especially that old guy.
His acting sucks.
Yeah, he does suck.
He's the only one who thinks he's a star.
So why didn't you out us?
There's no hurry, wait till Grandpa and Grandma gets here.
I'm sorry, you made me do this.
Look at this one, it's so red!
That's red? That's stretching it a little...
This is a local specialty!
Try it!
It's good!
So very sweet
Is it good?
Lovely...
Are you done yet?
Almost! Be quiet!
What do you think Peachy and Uncle are up to?
Don't worry
Peachy is good
your uncle won't be back
until that ring is on your finger.
Hurry UP!
I SAID. I'm almost done.
Okay, okay! I'm done.
What's the matter?
Asthma attack?
Don't be shy, turn around!
Here, here.
Dude. Look at that V, it's so low
But yet... you got nothing to back it up
I can see your clavicles
That's no good
Hurry, no one's seen you yet
Dude, go change into a tux
Go to hell!
I'm a girl too!
I have feelings too!
I have to file a complaint...
No, don't...
You... you
made me depressed! That's it!
You depressed your customer!
- Where's your boss? - No...
We're ready for you now!
Where's Mark Lui?
He has a really bad hangover, still in his room
Sir
Why don't you stand in for him
Let me take a few photos
Just see how it feels, okay?
Thank you!
We can?
Thanks!
That's not too cool...
What's not cool?
Are you ashamed to take a picture with me?
No... it's just a bit weird...
Wait...
In this one... I see "love"
Where can you see "love"?
Right... here...
Where?
Look at that cleavage! Not bad
Did you contour?
If you don't mind
I would like to use this photo
as part of my exhibit next month, may I?
Yes!
And...
If you have a minute...
Can you send me a copy to my phone?
Sure, no problem
Don't do that...
That's an ugly picture...
I use it to ward off evil spirits okay?
Marilyn said, she's terribly sorry...
That I got hurt last time...
She asked if I could have dinner with her tonight...
I really think she digs me.
Really? She digs you?
How kind of her!
Why don't I go with you... help you feel her out.
- Ok? - No way, dude.
I'll go do my makeup now.
Play by play after the date. Later!
Sorry about your head last time...
So I decided to make you a meal myself.
As a treat!
You really didn't have to.
It... looks great!
Look at this toast, it's burnt
No nutrients left in this one
Won't get fat no matter what.
Are you okay with
this kind of food tonight?
To be with my idol
and eat what she makes...
is my honor!
I'll dig in then.
Come on then
This chicken breast is dried up like tree bark
It's really hard to swallow
I have a way
Here, try it
It tastes good!
How is it?
Its...
Very...
Fresh!!
It's the paparazzi.
Looks like our date will have to end tonight.
That door opens!
Go inside!
It might not have to.
Come with me
Inside, go inside...
Go left... in the kitchen...
Watch the floor!
Be careful!
You'll fall!
Who are you?
Out! Out!
You can come out now!
Oh
I had so much fun tonight
Me too
I'll go inside now
Have some rest.
Would you...
like to come in for some coffee?
Nah,
I can't sleep with coffee this late
Oh... okay then.
Goodnight
Goodnight.
Stars are really weird
They like to invite people for coffee this late, huh.
Damn!
Oh dang dang dang dang dang.
How did it go? How did it go?
I'm such an idiot...
You know what happened tonight?
What?
Marilyn cooked for me and it was awful
But I said it was awesome
And then some paparazzi wanted to shoot us
And we ran into the kitchen
The floor was really slippery
so then I held her hand
and we ran ran ran ran ran
and I held her hand hand hand hand
THEN FINALLY I brought her back to her room...
and she looked at me sweetly. And said..
"Would you like to come in for coffee?"
So did you go in?
I didn't!
Oh why didn't you!
I KNOW! Why didn't I?
OMG.
So if I go back to her NOW, and I say, hey, I thought about it
And NOW I want some coffee, do you think that works?
NO!
Because when it comes to coffee, it's... all about timing.
Once it's gone it's gone.
So when will I have a chance again?
Usually this happens...
on the night of first dates...
So if you missed out, you'll have to wait...
another 3-7 months.
Shi...T...!
Take him to his room.
What happened?
He had some poisonous fruit.
He'll drink bitter gourd juice for the next three days
for a complete detox. He will be fine.
And why would he do that?
Because I gave it to him.
You're harsh!
I am, indeed.
Since we're birds of a feather...
can I interest you in doing something together?
I am always up for a challenge.
Good.
I got word that ..
The Association of Hotel Ratings has sent
A Mysterious Rating Judge.
This will be the ultimate test to our five-star status.
We'll have to smoke him out.
Firstly, he will be in disguise.
He might be a tall, dark and handsome businessman...
on a golf holiday from Florida...
Or a couple from Shanghai...
But what you can be sure of...
is that this Mysterious Rating Judge will NOT...
admit his identity.
Yes...
(Shanghainese) Didn't we say that before...
(Shanghainese) Are you the Mysterious Rating Judge?
(Shanghainese) No, I'm not, I'm not...
(English) Are you the Mysterious Rating Judge?
(Slovene) I don't know what you're saying!
Blah blah blah.. I have no idea what you're saying either.
Well?
No dice!
Anyone here could be him.
But I personally think...
It's him.
That's... a bit too far now, is it?
Wouldn't be the Mysterious Rating Judge if it were that easy.
The Association of Hotel Ratings annually
sends 400 of their Mysterious Rating Judges
to hotels around the world for their star ranking
They have a special ID every year, just between themselves.
This year, it's a scarf with a diamond on it.
Look at him! He's no rating judge!
Am I.. not allowed so much?
Of course you are!
If it's here, it's for our guests.
Sir
May we help you with anything else?
To tell you the truth... I'm a fisherman
You're quite pale for a fisherman.
Because I actually...
fish at night...
Nightly fishing!
I've heard of nightly NEWS...
I heard that...
Your hotel is grand within its grade...
Especially the bathroom, which has a fabulous lake view...
Grand, and good feng shui...
So... I want to..
It's right there up front, where the sign says make a left.
I'll go try it out then...
That's an excuse to use our bathroom!
To check out our hotel,
to check out both our hardware AND software.
See if it's up to par with five-stars.
So... so what do we do now?
From this moment...
We follow him closely...
Don't let him out of our sight...
and we tend to his every need.
Sir...
Relieved?
Very!
Your hotel is fabulous!
Your service is just
out of this world!
Yes,yes
I will go back and tell my fellow villagers
that they must come here and have a look.
Take a dump in that bathroom.
Oh, you're welcome!
Thank you, thank you!
Okay, I will take a look around...
Sir, congratulations!
I just checked our hotel records
You are our 10,000th
walk-in customer!
To celebrate with flair...
You are guest to all our facilities
all around our hotel, all of it
with our sincere compliments!
What's walk-in?
You're a winner!
- Yes - Winner?
I won something?
I've never won anything all my life!
Yes,yes“.
Let's check-in to your room now..
Okay, okay...
What's check-in?
Um... that's...
...over there!
That way...
This is so grand!
It's amazing! It's awesome!
He's happy like a little bee.
Sir, are you satisfied with your room?
Yes! It is perfect!
But if I had something to eat
that would be even better!
Can you... can you not get it all over the place?
Peachy, Peachy ..
My Carpet!
RATING JUDGE. RATING JUDGE.
Sir
Is the food right for your palette?
I have never had...
such fabulous food in my entire life!
So what else do you want?
Well... I haven't bathed in a year
It would be great if I can have a bath!
This feels grrrrrreat!
How is it?
Does it feel good?
I am a KING!
Do you girls wanna come in?
No that's quite alright
Thank you!...
It tastes good too!
It feels amazing!
He turned the milk into chocolate!
I can't clean that! How the...
RATING JUDGE. RATING JUDGE.
Old man...
Go ask where our granddaughter Bo Bo is... go on...
which room is she?
Okay lovey, I...
Hello there.
You guys look great!
Want to shoot a commercial with us?
Commercial? Us two?
That's right...
TV commercial?
Is it legit?
Of course,
you would be starring along Miss Audrey
Miss Audrey?
She's a big star! She's so pretty!
Yes...
I... I like her so much!
She has a pair of big..
- .!
She's really nice to the elderly too!
Even the rustiest knife...
Can turn sharp one day...
What's left behind isn't love...
It's a burden.
Please support Audrey's All Love Foundation.
Poor wretched grandpa and grandma,
please eat!
Audrey is so pretty!
What smooth skin...
Prettier in person too...
Where's your camera?
Oh yes...
EAT!
Grandpa, Grandma, just..
Smile while you're eating, that's it.
Don't disturb Miss Audrey
Yes, eat...
BIG BITES.
Come on now.
Look at the camera, smile
SMILE!
Cut! Good take! Moving on!
Every year, I order the special 5-yolk mooncake
and I give it to the poor elderly
at Mid Autumn Festival!
Go on!
TAKE IT!
Doesn't it taste good?
Let the audience see how many yolks there are!
Eat it. EAT IT I SAID.
Eat all the 5 yolks.
EAT IT!
LARGE BITES!
SMILE!
Lovey, my insulin is going through the roof!
One shot. Eat this entire chocolate egg.
Once you're done, we wrap.
EAT IT!
Help!
Hurry!
You're crazy!
Grandpa, Grandma, are you okay?
- Baby... - Darling, help us!
Mr. Director...
The contract clearly states that...
you're here for a film shoot only...
not for a commercial!
We're doing this for charity,
just offering food to the elderly...
Bo Bo dear...
lam so full...
Please take me away!
Let's go! Let's take them away!
I think they're both tired
I'll take them away to go rest for a bit.
That might not be a problem, except...
They both signed a contract, so...
they'll have to pay up if they don't shoot.
Let's not go there.
Come on, just give me some face, eh?
And why do I need to do that?
That's enough! I've had it from you!
"I Love You, My Dear," huh?
I'm a frigging stunt man now, huh?
I'm going to beat you up!
Whoa whoa whoa there. Let's not get violent now.
Let me show you something.
What is it?
Look.
He's nice!
He's responsible, and he takes care of the elderly.
Yes
Bo Bo dear, this is the one
But he's not my fiancé.
Grandpa and Grandma must be hungry
Here, have some cheesecake.
Seriously, boy?
Bo Bo
What do you see in this guy? He's like a bag of wet cement.
I like him...
I like that he will... be silly with me
He'll just speak nonsense...
He takes care of me
When I'm with him...
I don't think about anything...
Because you usually have it all thought out for me
But the best part is...
he makes me laugh.
Every time I see him,
I'm just so happy-
He looks like a goof,
and you're happy with that?
Bo Bo
Bo Bo, goofy and honest are different
Goofy is really boring!
Actually he's not bad, he's a good match for you
He calls me dude all the time
I don't even know how he feels
Can't you ask him?
Of course not!
I'm a girl!
How can the girl ask?
No no no no no!
You're right
You know, your Grandma, I was dumb back then...
I asked your Grandpa first
Just doesn't make it precious, you know?
Look at your Grandpa
Look how arrogant he is!
Are you okay?
You're not hurt are you?
I'm fine...
Just... my chest feels a bit heavy
I just need some fresh air.
Brother Pao
I'll go with you
No, no!
Bo Bo
You go with him, get some fresh air!
You can come home late!
Let me help you..
Brother Pao... I...
I'm so sorry...
thank you for helping me with this wedding...
Why are you so cordial with me?
We're good brothers, dude!
Brothers!
Oh yes, I almost forgot.
Why do you have a ring?
I mean, it's all for show, but you do need a ring.
That's so thoughtful.
You keep it.
What's up?
Is it Marilyn?
Yes
She wants to see me... in her room.
She has something to say.
Her room?
Seems like she really likes you.
Should I go?
If I go, what if she wants us to have a secret affair?
What if we can't make it public?
What if her fans really like me..
Would that affect her?
I'm not sure I can handle all this...
What are you doing?
I'm having second thoughts!!
What second thoughts?
I'm not confident about this. don't have the guts to do
Let me tell you.
No second thoughts.
You can't look down upon yourself!
But I'm nothing.
When I was in India
Mediator Richard Billyham taught me something...
I will teach you that today.
Okay, let's do this. Come on.
First, lay down.
Relax your entire body...
Close your eyes... and then...
Relax your nose...
Relax your throat... your Adam's apple...
Yes that's right...
Now your ears...
Good“.
Now imagine...
There is a little ball of light talking to you
Pao Pao
You are the world's best!
Am I?
You are the most handsome guy!
Am I? That's great.
Okay.
Now the little ball is done.
Done?
Yep, all done.
So this little ball of light...
Do I keep it or do I give it back to you?
You keep it
Okay... okay...
How do you feel?
I feel...
I feel really good!
I'm really confident now!
" Really? " Yes!
That's wonderful!
Let me tell you
From today onwards
You, are the best!
You, are handsome!
Whoever gets to be with you...
She would be the luckiest girl...
and...
You deserve the best!
Dude!
When I marry Marilyn, you must come to my wedding.
And
Your Richard Billyham.. he's really something!
Yes he is.
Oh yes, so...
You gotta teach me this stuff in the future, okay?
I don't think I can.
Why?
Because“.
Because tomorrow is the wedding...
So after I inherit the fortune...
I will go back to the States
and I don't think I will be coming back.
But I look forward to every time...
when you come back here, and you tell me about your adventures...
What you've eaten, what you've seen...
Now you're telling me you won't come back?
I'm going to miss you so much!
You'll get used to it
I Will?
You Will.
Okay so... there's a girl waiting for you over there.
Boys shouldn't let girls wait, right?
You should go.
Go on.. go!
Go go go go!
I won't get used to it...
You Will.
You've never seen me like this, huh?
Yeah“.
I don't think I would recognize Jay-Z if he was white.
Come in.
So...
ever since you turned me down for coffee last time
I began to know the real you.
What was that?
I'm sorry
I want to ask, where did you buy this bottle of whisky?
It's great!
I have a friend who would love this.
Take it then.
You shouldn't have!
But I want to thank you.
Miss Marilyn
Have you ever...
had someone in your heart
that you couldn't stop thinking about?
You'll think of that person when you come across
something you've eaten, something you want to share.
Have... have you?
I... I haven't.
But I think I can understand that.
Actually I have something to tell you too.
Oh.
I've accepted an offer, the film is called
"Ordinary Love"
The director wants me to get a feel of
what it's like to love an ordinary guy,
and I got to meet you, so I...
So it's not that you really like me...
I'm this ordinary guy...
No wonder you cooked for me, and invited me for coffee.
Are you mad at me?
I was!
But... now I don't have time to be mad
I really miss someone right now
So much that my heart hurts
I want to go find her now!
If I tell you now, that I...
have feelings for you...
What would you do?
Your acting has improved ten-fold!
Those must be your lines from the script
From the ending, is it?
Didn't you say you miss her? Go chase her back!
Don't waste your time!
You're right! Don't waste my time!
Bye
Before I pronounce you man and wife legally
It is my duty to remind you
That although your wedding
Is not bound by religious rite,
So if no one comes forward to object,
I will...
pronounce you..
I OBJECT!
What do you want?
I won't let you marry him!
Quit it! It's just a rehearsal!
EVEN if it's just a rehearsal!
Excuse me...
What are you doing?
You said I shouldn't have second thoughts
Now I'm going to tell you what I want
If you must marry
You can only marry one person
and that's me!
If I'm going to marry
There is just one person I would marry
and that's you!
You said whoever will end up with me will be the luckiest girl
please give me a lifetime
to prove it to you, I mean it!
I'm sorry, dude!
I've always just treated you as a brother
until you said you were going to leave
and then I realized I didn't want you as a brother
I want to see you every day
We must not separate for a moment!
Marry me!
What about dating?
Should we not date first?
I don't think so
Let's not waste time
We've wasted too much time
If you don't mind, I want to get married right here right now!
Shouldn't we...
explain to Grandpa and Grandma what's going on?
That's alright
That's what young love is all about
As long as they love each other
Marry him, sweetheart!
Yes!
But... don't call me
"dude" from now on...
and don't call me
"brother"...
So what should I call you?
There he goes again! Oh boy!
- "baby"! " Yes!
Baby-
Okay!
Great! Straight to the point! Good man!
No... I mean... baby!
Okay.
I am so very glad we've now progressed to the kissing part
Or it would just be weird standing here!
(gibberish)
What does Uncle want?
He is still somewhat intoxicated, so he can't speak...
he will be like this for a while.
(gibberish)
He said he is against this wedding!
It's no use, we love each other
You will never get the inheritance.
(gibberish)
It's like this...
He said he's not against this marriage
He is against this WEDDING!
I don't get it!
(gibberish)
Let me do it!
Your uncle isn't so bad.
He's actually a nice guy
who's just kind of a bad businessman.
He trusted the wrong people..
And bought a mine with all the fortune... but...
there was not a single lump of coal in there..
Just a cave full of stones
so you came to stop us
and take the inheritance to pay your debts!
He doesn't have the inheritance!
He spent it all to begin with!
He didn't want your grandparents to worry
so he tried to stop this wedding
I've braved through thick and thin
I've seen it all!
Yes!
When I was in the army, I shot planes down!
Bang Bang Bang!
That's right, we can have a wedding on a tight budget
Just a simple dinner will do.
No! We've got to make it grand!
Why?
Because the Mysterious Critic knows
that Bo Bo will hold a grand wedding here
and he will attend!
So not only will it happen, we have to make it as grand as possible!
Or else... we will lose our five-star status!
But... Miss Koo...
We really don't have a budget, what shall we do?
Award-winning Nick Cheung once said to me,
"if you don't have it now, you won't have it in the future."
Four-star is four-star, right?
Why must we shoot for five-star?
Let's just go find a four-star hotel who will take us!
Zhuge Liang once said:
"Never look down upon yourself!"
You don't need anyone to give you five-stars!
It's what you think of yourself that counts!
We'll do this!
We will do this using our way!
Miss Koo
Why don't you lead us into this then?
Great!
What a united team I have here.
I'm so happy! And..
Once again, it proves...
that my management philosophy is invincible!
Let's give this wedding...
Our best shot!
Let's go, Miss Koo!
Wait, wait for me?
Wait!
Serving fish heads as appetizers...
Now this is really something else!
Indeed
Thank you for sponsoring our wedding feast
Tonight's menu will be amazing!
The fish heads are really big...
there's Fish Head in Clay Pot Stew, There's Wonton Fish Head...
And Fish Head Kebab, and Chili Fish Head!
So... please don't mind my asking, but...
where does the rest of the fish go?
In my belly!!
Thanks to you, Master!
You're welcome!
NW soc...
Food. Check. Tonight it's a Fish Feast!
Thank you so much for this..
Sponsoring us for drinks and also our staff wages...
No problem!
But you must remember...
to introduce us to your guests with our slogan...
"Nutri-Express makes life happy"
"Drink Qili, energize me!"
Of course! Of course we will!
We'll say it til we want to hurl!
Your wages, your way!
Great! No problem!
Drinks. Check. Staff's getting paid. Done!
- Where's the champagne? - What will we drink?
Oh dear...
The champagne is almost all out!
Peachy“.
How's it going over there?
I need a few more minutes...
I, the Champagne King,
has been King of the industry for so long
How dare you say...
that you have to test my champagne?
Well if we're going to buy 100 cartons
We just want to be safe rather than sorry.
Who twirls a flute to test champagne? You don't do that!
OBAMA!
Obama?
Where's Obama?
I ordered a banana.
Try the champagne, hurry!
You...
This is counterfeit!
I... He... This...
I'm out of here!
Mission accomplished!
The Champagne King has left the building
And the 100 cartons are ours!
Excellent!
Sadly, one of our comrades have sacrificed courageously.
Hi!
You... aren't you Miss Audrey, the big star?
I was watching you for a very long time
So many people come up to you...
You must be a VIP
What's a VIP?
Oh my, aren't you funny
What do you do?
I'm a fisherman
And modest, too!
I should have guessed you work in fisheries
It's such a hit industry now
What's hit?
Ladies and gentlemen
Please applause to welcome the bride and her groom!
Enter!
Beautiful!
Great!
I am so happy today
Because“.
I've found a wonderful husband
Even though he makes me mad, and he laughs at me...
But I'm so happy around him..
From today onwards
Pao Pao will be polite to each and every one
Because from now on, you can only tease me,
okay?
Okay!
That's great!
Hi!
Hi...
And when it comes to coffee...
He will accept no invitations from now on, because...
He will only be drinking it with me.
Okay?
Yes, baby, of course!
Do you have anything to say to me?
I have a lot I want to say...
Go on!
But I'm not good with words, so...
I never wanted to be a manager here.."
I wanted to be a lounge singer."
"I would fly a rocket and take you to the skies"
"and live with you in space"
"Live to a thousand and love you like it's the first day"
"With you by my side, everything's okay"
"With you in life, everything's great"
"The simplest food turns into gourmet"
"I'll be with you forever, every minute I need you babe"
"You are my air, my sun's rays."
I'm so touched
You are so emotional!
It's too loud here
Which room are you in?
The President Suite!
Can you show me around?
Of course!
Mr. Wong!
Are you satisfied...
with our arrangements?
Very!
I am thrilled... with
Everything in the last few days
That's marvelous
So I suppose we would get...
a stellar report?
What's a report?
Out of my way! I'm busy don't you see
Stop the act
You're the Mysterious Rating Judge
I saw you with that scarf the other day
I don't know what you're talking about!
Mr. Wong!
Miss Koo!
Mark Lui
What's with the outfit?
I gave that fisherman my scarf.
It was dirty.
I am the Mysterious Rating Judge you've been looking for!
This is my Association of Hotel Ratings Rating Judge
ID card.
My number is 7086!
This is legit!
My gosh!
It's the Mysterious Rating Judge!
I came here and was greeted...
with endless insults...
Your work ethic is just...
unbelievably bad!
F&B, taking company property!
Housekeeping, the worst attitude in the world!
Reception, with a fake exterior...
Management is just harsh!
And then, without even asking me,
I got dragged into being someone's husband!
I'm actually...
very serious about love!
I can't believe he is the Mysterious Rating Judge...
That's it.. our five-star status... down the drain...
Shall we beat him up?
Yes!
On a count of three!
One! Two! Three!
However...
Yes, Mr. Lui?
Is there a "but" somewhere?
I see the way that you help each other
all because you want to keep the five-star rating.
This very united team effort
is unheard of in other hotels
From each of your weaknesses-
- and there are plenty, let me tell you -
there is kindness
It's something that makes guests feel like home
And THAT is the ultimate in the hotel industry!
So our report...
This is just crazy.
We are five-star staff at last.
And our hotel can even be called Deluxe now!
What does that mean?
That means we've even advanced one tier
when compared to other five-star hotels.
So they gave us
"Deluxe"
In our district we're the only hotel with "Deluxe"!
So can we adjust our rates?
I have my heart set on a new vacuum cleaner recently...
It's so powerful it can do a master cleanse! Amazing!
We need to get going.
Alright, Team Deluxe,
I'm going on honeymoon with Bo Bo
I'll leave the hotel to you guys
Work hard!
Especially you! Behave!
Oh baby don't you worry
I will make sure you...
lose your job when you come back.
I am at a loss for words knowing...
I have such a great buddy like you.
Get me a present.
I'll get you a plastic bag.
Bo Bo, aren't you bankrupt?
How can you afford your honeymoon?
Everything's fine!
Even though the mine didn't have a single lump of coal
There were diamonds
in the stones!!
I brought some for everybody today
Gorgeous!
I've never seen so many...
I picked the biggest one...
for you!
Thank you
Miss Koo, congratulations
Thanks to your report!
I am here...
On behalf of the Association of Hotel Ratings
inviting you to go to Europe and be one of our Rating Judges.
Your salary would triple what you make now.
Wouldn't I want something like that!
If I were you, I would say yes right now, Miss Koo!
But... I have such a great team here...
I've decided to stay!
But thank you for your offer!
Don't you want to think about it some more, Miss Koo?
I've thought about it already
Think about it some more?
I SAID I've thought about it already!
Dammit.
Hey everybody!
Come take a look,
This is the only Deluxe five-star hotel in the area!
If it weren't for me,
there's no way we can get rooms here, it's completely booked!
Fatty!
Thank you!
Don't be silly
I am the one who should be thanking you!
Your hotel is famous now
yet you let me have first pick of the rooms!
I'm so happy!
Of course!
I told Chua Lam we were completely full when he called!
Is that right?
I brought ten tours with me!
Jesus, Fatty! That's a lot, isn't it?
Do you want business or not?
Baby, can I check these people in first before we go?
Okay!
Hey! Let's get to work!
Okay!
- Welcome, welcome! - This way, this way!
- Welcome, welcome! - Welcome, welcome!
Welcome to the number 1 hotel in the area!
Our five-star hotel is even Deluxe!
Here, just count the stars!
Hey now... be careful...
Everyone just pick up after themselves now... stay clean...
Come over here if you want a drink, you can 20% off if you get drunk!
It's on the house if you throw up!
Hotel Deluxe wishes everyone...
A Snaky New Year!
Prosperity in the Year of The Snake!
Wealth and...
Health from the Great Snake!
Snakes for lunch and dinner...
No, I mean..
Snake-riffic New Year!
Kung Hei Fat Choy!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year everyone!
Happy New Year!
Congratulations to you handing out red packets this year!
Hand out red packets! Chapman To!