Oh, no, oh, no! No, no, no, no!
( screams )
( grunting )
Phew!
Nearly flattened because of a simple bump, heh.
( metal creaks )
Oh, no.
( sighs )
Many spanks-- clanks-- Thanks, sir.
I'll finish stacking these stasis pods immediately.
Fixit, didn't I ask you and Sideswipe
to work on this together?
Well, yes, Sir, but Sideswipe's stabilizer is sore,
so he thought it might be better if I did it myself.
( pop music playing on headphones)
( humming )
( sighs )
You know, I think Sideswipe
might be taking advantage of you.
Heh, hardly, sir.
Sideswipe offered to cover my elephant cage cleaning duties
for the next five cycles. Fair trade.
Aw, Fixit.
We don't have any elephants.
Oh.
Then what have I been cleaning?
Sideswipe!
( humming )
Sideswipe! Audio overload!
You need to stop taking advantage of your teammates,
and you... What are you listening to, anyway?
( pop music playing on headphones)
Oh! Oh, I love this song!
( humming )
Break down, unh!
( clears throat then chuckles)
Uh, the music on this planet is pretty great.
The melodies are complex
and the lyrics frequently have multiple meanings.
I like the oonce-oonce parts.
Yeah. Well, in any case,
we need to help our teammates, okay?
We don't get the better of them.
( bell dings )
Customer!
( dramatic theme playing )
Give us what we desire.
Or the Kospego shall destroy you all!
♪ Transformers ♪
♪ Robots in disguise ♪
( roars ) ♪ Robots in disguise ♪
Kospego?
Local legend. Some kind of giant cranky
elk-like creature, walks on two legs
and has the strength of a thousand humans, right?
I too thought the Kospego was but a myth.
Until I saw it!
( cuckoo clock tweets )
MAN: The Kospego said...
KOSPEGO: I need stuff, and youse gonna get it for me.
Or else I'm gonna break some junk.
And by junk, I mean youse.
I shared the story with others.
They came to witness the Kospego,
and now they too are believers!
We must all follow the Kospego's commands or...
( imitates bones cracking )
Uh-huh.
And will the Kospego be paying cash?
Oh, no. Arnold will. Uh, that's me.
Then what can we get for you and the Kospego, Arnie?
( fingers snap )
We have already found many things, but...
The Kospego still demands 15 pounds of soldering lead,
441 two-inch nails, 37 yards of steel cable,
and one high voltage electrical generator.
Okay, just, uh, stay here,
and we'll see what we can find for you.
BUMBLEBEE: Fourteen relay switches?
Russell, don't give them the generator.
I'll explain later.
DENNY: Well, here's most everything.
Give me a minute to fire up the crane,
and I'll bring a generator over.
Dad, we sold the last generator yesterday, remember?
What? We have one in the back.
No, we sold it to Mr. Bumblebee.
Oh. Sorry.
Hm. The only other high-capacity generator
in the area is at the dam,
and, heh, well, that's not for sale.
The Kospego will not be pleased.
He may very well kebab us on his antlers.
( whimpers )
Off we go!
Boy, is somebody taking those poor saps for a ride.
Pretending to be the Kospego.
( Denny chuckles )
Uh, so, why couldn't I sell them a generator?
Because, Denny, I suspect...
STRONGARM: I'm back, Lieutenant.
But the mission was a complete failure.
I didn't find anything at the crash site
that we hadn't seen previously, except this.
( grunts )
Well, this thing won't be bothering us anymore.
Whoa! I bet that could totally take down a Decepticon.
What is it? It's a Decepticon Hunter.
Sideswipe. How is your stabilizer feeling?
Um, Fixit? A little more info?
Oh, right. Uh, Sideswipe damaged his stabilizer, so I--
On the Decepticon Hunter?
What? We have a Decepticon Hunter?
Where?
( gasps )
A Decepticon Hunter.
( grunts )
FIXIT: Careful, it can be quite dangerous.
Decepticon Hunters were standard issue
on all prison ships. What's it do?
The Decepticon Hunter connects to its user's neurotransmissions
so whatever combat device is imagined,
the Decepticon Hunter generates,
within certain parameters.
That doesn't sound dangerous, it sounds awesome.
Protoblaster! Unh!
( grunts ) I said protoblaster! Hey!
( grunts )
Protoblaster! Whoa!
( whimpers )
I must be doing it wrong.
It's because it's tied to your thought process.
You actually have to be able to think to make it work.
You're lucky I'm able to think
about sunshine and rainbows right now.
Before anyone thinks something they'll regret...
So why couldn't I off-load the generator, Bee?
I could've used the space to display
my vintage refrigerators.
My poor, poor refrigerators.
That list from the Kospego...
Those items may have seemed random, but they weren't.
I suspect the Kospego is one of our Decepticons,
tricking humans into thinking it's your creature of legend,
using them to help jury-rig a SpaceBridge.
A SpaceBridge?
So we could go home to gather reinforcements.
Home or anywhere else.
We could, if we thought this SpaceBridge would work.
But it's far more likely the slightest misalignment
of the components will create a black hole-like phenomenon
that could badly damage or even destroy Earth.
( all gasp )
Which would be bad.
( device beeps )
( dramatic theme playing )
FIXIT: The Alchemor's prisoner manifest
does list a Decepticon named Thunderhoof
matching the general description.
We better make sure the generator at the dam
stays where it is.
Roger that. Autobots!
Here comes another stinker.
Nope. This time he nails it.
Let's rev, rock and rumble!
Aw, really? I kind of liked that one.
( dramatic theme playing )
BUMBLEBEE: Sideswipe, you and Grimlock stay here and guard the generator.
Strongarm, let's make a circular sweep of the area.
( groans )
( suspenseful theme playing )
I'm gonna scout the perimeter.
Bumblebee told us to stay here.
Yeah, but here includes right here
and the perimeter around right here.
Oh.
( pop music playing on headphones )
( humming )
Sideswipe! Aah!
Stop doing that!
Why are you here and not with Grimlock?
Uh! Funny story, I--
GRIMLOCK ( over radio ): Who's there? What are you--
( Grimlock grunting )
( suspenseful theme playing )
( Grimlock groaning )
GRIMLOCK: Anybody see where that bus went?
Those antlerheads took out Grimlock?
No. It had to be the Decepticon.
Who might not have attempted an attack
if there had been two guards on duty,
like I ordered.
( Grimlock groans )
Grimlock, are you all right?
( groans )
Of course I am.
( grunts )
Hey, are my arms and legs still attached?
Did you see what hit you?
All I saw were horns coming at me.
You know that feeling
when something throws you through a mountain?
No. Yes.
Well, it was like that.
Only painful-er.
Grimlock, head back to the scrapyard
and have Fixit take a look at you.
Okie-dokie.
Oh. Yeah, you can't fly, pal.
Strongarm, help him back.
Me? After what Sideswipe--
Grimlock can't make it back on his own,
and I obviously can't trust Sideswipe
to take responsibility for anyone or anything.
Oh, come on!
Call if you need help.
Since when can't I fly?
We're down two team members
against an enemy strong enough to knock Grimlock silly.
I know I messed up, okay?
Look, I can't be wondering how to contain targets
and my own team members, Sideswipe.
I said I know!
( dramatic theme playing )
SpaceBridge.
Think you can play it straight long enough
to help me keep them from using it, Sideswipe?
( grunts )
( all grunting )
We can deal with the Decepticon later,
but we can't just roll in and let those humans see us.
I have a plan.
Just trust me, okay?
( grunts )
No, blue to blue, red to red!
If we don't build this altar
precisely the way the Kospego ordered,
you know what he'll do to us!
( all mimic bone cracking )
There are other legendary creatures
of great legendary-ness that walk the forest,
such as me, Sideswingo.
And me, Bumbeego.
We've never heard of you.
Just because you don't know us doesn't mean we're not legends.
( whimpers )
The Kospego has been a very naughty creature.
Criminal, in fact.
He has acted against our wishes and shall be punished.
So unless you want a piece of us,
you'd better leave here. Now!
Or this will happen.
( grunting )
( gasps )
Why do legendary creatures hate trees so much?
Not bad, huh?
One not bad doesn't make everything else good.
We're not out of the woods yet.
( grunts )
( engine revving )
( dramatic theme playing )
Hey-oh! What's going on here?
Where'd all my little worker weirdos run off to?
You're under arrest.
Don't go barking rules and regulations at me, officer.
I'm Thunderhoof, see?
I ran some of the biggest criminal enterprises
on Cybertron.
Half you cops were on my payroll.
That SpaceBridge is dangerously unstable.
What's unstable is you, if you think I ain't
bridging to Cybertron to take back my turf.
Tell you what, seeing as you're fellow Cybertronians and all,
if you help me, I'll cut you in on a piece of the action.
You are going back to Cybertron, Thunderhoof.
In a stasis pod.
Bee, maybe we should think about this.
It's not like we have a SpaceBridge.
Maybe his will work,
and we don't wanna stay on Earth forever, do we?
Sideswipe, we don't make deals with criminals.
You're coming with us.
Hey-oh! Where's the respect?
Usually, I let underlings do the dirty work,
but that don't mean I don't remember how to do it myself!
( Thunderhoof grunts)
( Bumblebee groans )
( both grunting )
( tense theme playing )
( grunts )
Sideswipe, a hand?
( grunts )
( screams then grunts )
( suspenseful theme playing )
You mess with the boss, you get the hoof!
SIDESWIPE: Thunderhoof, wait!
Huh? Bumblebee's not worth it.
What? I'm sick of that Bot
telling me what to do,
then telling me everything I do is wrong.
I want off this bot-forsaken planet.
What? Oh.
Finally, someone with a little intelligence.
Come on, kid, let's do the Autobot stomp.
Seriously, don't waste your time.
He can't stop you.
Just leave Bee here to rot on this mudball
with no way home.
Would serve him right.
Okay, let's go.
Wait, Thunderhoof, we should check the connections
in the SpaceBridge before we, uh--
Hey, you're a smart kid, but don't tell me my business.
I got an empire to get home to.
But--
( beeping )
( dramatic theme playing )
( wind howling )
I been through my share of SpaceBridges,
but I ain't never seen one do that.
BOTH ( in unison ): Black hole!
( tense theme playing )
( wind howling )
Something ain't right here.
You think?
Why don't you test it out for me, kid?
Wait!
You thought you could scam me
by pretending to switch sides, Autobot?
How did that work out for you?
Actually, not bad.
Protoblaster!
Close enough.
( both grunting )
( dramatic theme playing )
( grunting )
Scrap.
( grunts )
( grunting )
I said you were going first, kid, and I mean what I says.
( screaming )
( screams )
( tires screeching )
( Bumblebee grunting )
( engine revving )
( grunting )
( suspenseful theme playing )
( tires screeching )
We need to close that hole before it grows any bigger!
How? A detonation,
inside the hole,
releasing more energy than the rift itself is generating.
( dramatic theme playing )
( engines revving )
( Bumblebee grunts )
So that happened.
You had me worried there for a minute, Sideswipe.
Dude, I'm on the team.
But I can kind of see how it hasn't always seemed like it.
SpaceBridge wasn't stable,
but when Thunderhoof disappeared,
it sure looked like a teleportation.
So where did he go?
( grunts )
Cybertron?
Aw, I'm still stuck on this backwater planet.
Fine, I'll just set up a new empire here.
Eh, I get those crackpot locals to help.
They bought it once, they'll buy it again.
Aah-yo!
Sorry about the pain. It's temporary,
and, you'll soon come to understand, necessary.
In the meantime, you want to remain free?
You stay with me.
I'm Steeljaw.
This better not be a trick.
I've had enough of tricks lately.
( laughs )
Sideswingo, Bumbeego!
We look to you for guidance.
And for the last time, Morton,
watch it with the sacred girdle!
( mysterious theme playing )
( dramatic theme playing )