亲爱的查理 我们永远是最好的朋友 丹 Dear Charile We are best friends forever. From Dan
老家伙 Old Dogs
你正需要这样的散布 This walk is exactly what you need.
你跟上了发条似的 You've been coiled up like a spring.
我都快不认识你了 I don't even know who you are anymore.
这个会很重要 我以为你会有点紧张呢 It's a big meeting, I'd think you'd be a little nervous.
我没紧张 丹 我是兴奋 I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.
别再说那个故事了 Please don't tell the story.
你很会交际 查理 那很好 You're a people person, Charlie, that's wonderful,
可在商业会议上你说些我私人的事情 But in business meetings you tell personal items from my life,
-这让我很难堪 -女人女人女人 - and it embarrasses me. - Girls, girls, girls!
跑了十英里 Hey! Ten miles!
对不起 祥子 I'm sorry, Lucky.
我想他太老跑不动了 I think he's too old for sprints.
我都能听到他腿的咔咔声 I can hear his legs clicking.
那是我的膝盖 Those are my knees.
你真认为我说那些故事娱乐自己 Do you really think I tell that story for my own amusement?
我这么干因为这是一种推销手段 I do it because it's a sales tool.
查理 我们通过广告宣传来搞定这笔买卖吧 Charlie, let's win this account on our pitch.
这是运动营销 就得与众不同 It's sports marketing. You need an edge.
-我不想与众不同 -先生 帮个忙好吗 - I don't want to be the edge. - Hey, Mr.! Little help!
当然可以 小家伙 Sure thing, guys!
-你干吗这么做 -我的错 不好意思 - Why did you do that? - My bad! Sorry!
-我不是故意的 -你是个怪物 - I didn't mean to. - You're a monster!
抱歉 I'm sorry!
你对1米2以下的任何动物都过敏 You're allergic to anything under four feet.
能把啥都搞砸 You're a mess.
你保证不讲那个故事 Promise you won't tell the story.
好吧 我不讲那个故事 Fine. I won't tell the story.
你们想听最有趣的丹·瑞本故事吗 Ok, you guys want to hear the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?
-别 别讲 -别这样 丹尼 - No, don't. - Please. Come on, Danny.
好吧 七年前 丹刚刚离婚 All right. Seven years ago, Dan's divorce had just come through
他前妻伤透了他的心 and his ex-wife had left his heart in tatters.
而他的存款也用光了 给他们翻译一下 And his bank account drained. Tell them that.
他处理得十分好 He was taking it pretty well.
(7年前) 很好 你像个汉子一样承受了一切 That's good. You're taking it like a man!
毫不在乎 越来越聪明 Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!
-怎么了 -天哪 - What? - Oh, God!
人们都说那天我救了我的伙伴 People say I saved my partner's life that day.
那么多人离婚 So many people get divorced.
而且你们两个又不想要孩子 And neither one of you wanted kids.
离婚就是天才之举 Now that seems like a stroke of genius!
但这话安慰不了他 我得有所行动 But that didn't console him. I had to act.
我得做些什么 I had to do something.
开心先生要教你怎么生活 Mr. Good time is going to teach you how to live! Yeah!
-为什么有两件行李 -只是去短途旅行 - Why are there two pieces of luggage? - Oh, just a little jaunt.
很平常 Nothing too wild.
开心先生 你说我们来迈阿密 我们来了 Hey, Mr. Good times. You said we'd come to Miami, we did.
我们现在能回家吗 Can we go home now?
这酒杯怎么跟个游泳池似的 Does this drink come with a diving board?
这太荒唐了 我就想喝一小口 It's insane! Just a sip, I think.
作为最好的朋友 我觉得有必要 So as a best friend, I felt compelled
小小提醒他自由的时候是什么样子 to give him a gentle reminder of what it was like to be free.
-"自由男人" -自由男人 -"Free man!" - Free man.
全部大写 就在胸前 Big letters, right across his chest.
"自由男人!" 明白吗 "Free man!" Comprende?
晚上好 护士 Oh. Good night, nurse.
我发誓那哥们儿懂英语的 I could have sworn that guy spoke English.
那个词本该是"自由男人"的 It was supposed to say "free man".
自由和尚 自由和尚 自由和尚 Fremont, fremont, fremont...
自由男人 Free man!
很有意思吧 伙计们 他们喜欢这故事 It's funny, guys. Come on. They love it.
然后意想不到的事情发生了 Then the unexpected happened.
看这么多的美女 别看别看 看吧 Look at all the babes. Don't look, don't look. Now look.
签了离婚协议十四个小时后 Fourteen hours after signing his divorce papers,
丹遇到了维姬 他的梦中情人 Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.
11点钟方向 一身白裙的女人 Girl in white, eleven o'clock.
-但是 -给他个女王式致意 - Yeah, but... - Oh, give her the queen's wave.
-不 另一种手势 -你好 - No, the other queen. - Oh. Hello.
她正和个朋友一起旅游 She was traveling with a friend.
根据她摆动手的方式 I thought maybe the friend was a magician or a Jazz dancer,
我猜也许她的朋友是个魔术师 because of the way
或者跳爵士舞的 she was moving her hands.
结果她是个手模 Turns out she's a hand model.
-手模 -知道手模吗 - ... Hand model. - A hand model?
他们靠手当模特 They model with their hands.
然后片刻之间丹又回到老样子了 So, within minutes, Dan is back to his old self.
不 别翻这句 他比以前好 No, scratch that. He's better than his old self.
查理 看看这些照片 Charlie, look at these pictures!
这辈子我没照过一张好照片 My whole life I've never taken a good picture.
不管怎么丢骰子 结果都一样 No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be
我从没见过他这么无拘无束 I'd never seen him so free, ok?
我的意思是 这么冲动 他完全变了个人 I mean, so impulsive. He was a changed man.
或许也没怎么变 Or maybe not so changed.
对从没冲动过的人 这很难解释 It's hard to explain to a guy who's never had an impulsive moment
他这辈子有两种冲动 In his life there's two kinds of impulsives.
这是好的 但太蠢了 The good kind, ok, but this is plain stupid!
这太浪漫了 That was so romantic.
而当他醒来的时候 他记起来 But when he woke up, he remembered,
"我已经过了14年的痛苦婚姻生活 "I was just married 14 painful years
而我现在居然又要来一遍" and I've gone and done it again!"
而且是和一个他几乎不认识的女人 To a woman that he barely knows.
他的情人 His "soul mate."
-情人 -情人 - Soul mate. - Soul mate!
情人 Soul mate!
他们从没这样笑过 They never laugh this much.
所以几个小时后 我的伙伴 这个男人 So, a few hours later, my buddy here, my hombre,
是我知道的唯一一个 is the only guy I know that's been
24小时内离婚两次的人 divorced twice in a 24-hour period.
这是个真实的故事 Now, that's a true story.
自由和尚 自由和尚 自由和尚 Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!
那个词本来该是自由男人 It was supposed to say "Free man".
但不是 那个词就是自由和尚 But it didn't. It said "Fremont".
这是个大错误 永远留在他的胸口上了 It's a big mistake. It's on his chest forever.
我实在认为这个故事 I don't really think that story
不尊重我对她的感情 honors the feelings I had for her.
别 对不起 丹 这些人喜欢这个故事 No, I'm sorry. Dan, people love that story.
你就起来做你该做的事吧 我该干的完了 So just get up there and do your thing. Because I killed.
万岁 Banzai!
万岁个屁 Ixnay on the banzai.
西村传媒公司 Nishamura media group
进入美国体育市场是件大事 entering the US sports market is a huge deal.
我知道你已经和些更大的公司谈过了 Now, I know you've met with larger groups,
但我要向你们说明为什么 but I'm about to show you why working with a boutique firm
同两个经验丰富管理者运营的 run by two seasoned pros
事务所合作是个明智之举 is a smart move for you.
五年四千七百万美元啊 Forty-seven million dollars over five years.
伙计 你最好练练你的日语 Man, you better shape up on your japanese,
因为你就要去东京了 小伙子 Cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!
谢谢 这正是我想要的机会 Thank you. This is the kind of opportunity I've been looking for.
你们一定不会失望的 And you will not be sorry.
我在大学里的绰号就是"GT" In college my nickname was "GT".
那是"找到"的意思 你们找到我 That's "go to". You go to me.
你是怎么了 What's the matter with you?
我们一生最大的生意对你来说不够刺激吗 Biggest deal of our lives isn't exciting enough for you?
现在这事已经确定了吗 还有很多细节呢 So it's a done deal now? There are a few small details.
像下个星期西村和他的儿子来这儿 Like next week when Nishamura and his son come to town,
我们得在高尔夫球场上赢得他们的信任 we have to win them over on the golf course.
-那很简单 -我对高尔夫很在行 - That'll be easy. - I'm great at golf.
再过两个星期 Then, two weeks from now,
我们得向他们的执行董事会 we have to make a complete presentation
-做全面报告 -没问题 - to their executive board of directors. - Done.
好了 很好 你到底怎么了 All right, sunshine. What's really wrong with you?
我没有离两次婚 好吗 I was not divorced twice, ok?
有一个被判决无效 One of them was an annulment.
-看看这张脸 -查理 别闹 - Look at that face! - Charlie, don't!
看这儿 克雷格 知道这是什么脸吗 Look at this, Craig. You know what this face is?
-胜利者的脸 -这张脸的主人打算蛰伏 - The face of a winner. - This face is willing to hibernate
六个月然后做单最大的生意 for six months to make the best deal he could possibly make.
我不在乎谁知道 现在为 And I don't care who knows it. A toast
我最好的朋友兼生意伙伴 to my best buddy and business partner,
丹·瑞本 干杯 Dan Rayburn!
谢谢 Arigato!
关键就是这一下子 It all comes down to this.
-我可不这么想 -三 二 一 - I don't think so. - Three, two, one.
这人是个射手 This one's the shooter.
-拭目以待吧 -黄金时刻 - Let's see it. - Golden moment.
你尿了 You're just sinking.
我的天啊 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.
我来接着 尿吧 Let's hit it. There you go.
-这是只小便失禁的狗 -是啊 - It's a leaking dog. - Yeah.
那 那真是巧妙的办法 这只狗多大了 That's a... That's a neat trick. How old is that dog?
我没记 兽医说这算得上是记录 I lost count. Vet said it was a record.
也许可以给他穿张尿布 或者内裤 You might want to put a diaper on him, or underwear.
你去哪里了 Where you been?
日本的房地产经纪 Japanese real estate agents.
有些适合克雷格桑的公寓 Some apartments for Craig San.
谢谢 我只想找些可靠的信息 Thank you. I just want to find something authentic.
我已经沉浸在日本文化中了 I've been getting so immersed in Japanese culture,
等我到东京的时候 by the time I hit Tokyo,
他们会把我当成日本人 they're going to think I'm part Japanese.
他们会这么想 "这个本地人是谁" They'll be like, "Who is this local"?
你住在富士山上我都不在乎 I don't care if you stay on the top of mount Fuji.
只要把钱赚回来 Just bring home the yen.
-这不可能 -你拿的是什么 - This can't be. - What do you got?
-维姬 -什么维姬 - Vicki. - Vicki who?
南海岸的维姬 她来这儿了 South beach Vicki? She's in town.
她想见我 今天 She wants to see me. Today.
她因为伤心给你打电话了了 She just called you out of the blue?
-不 -丹 丹 - No. - Dan? Dan?
你知道我上个圣诞节刚搬进公寓 You know last Christmas when I moved in to the condo?
我觉得很寂寞 I was feeling really lonely.
然后可能我写了七到十页密密麻麻的信 And maybe I wrote a seven-to-ten-page single-spaced letter.
丹 Oh, Dan.
你靠着你对这个女人的感情 You've been using your feelings for this woman
虚度了7年 to avoid your life for seven years.
我把你安置在绝对仅限成人的公寓 I set you up in the most exclusive adult-only condo.
你从来不去狂欢夜 You've never been to theme nights.
你从没去过周日早上的闲聊 You never once went to the Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.
也许她也没忘旧情 You know, maybe she hasn't moved on either.
-你不能这样 -为什么 - Well, you can't do it. - Why?
因为我们正在做有史以来最大一笔生意 Because we're in the middle of our biggest deal ever,
而你没时间 and you don't have the time.
她住在佛特蒙州 这太完美了 She lives in Vermont. It's perfect.
异地恋的开始 Start of a long-distance relationship.
一年6到9个月的温泉周末 You get six to nine months of the spa weekends,
打打午夜电话 白天还是有时间工作 late-night phone calls. I'd still have my days free to work.
她想在中央火车站见我 She wants to meet me at Grand Central Ctation,
但我不知道该穿什么 And I don't know what I'm supposed to wear.
这很明显不是舞会 是火车站 It's not formal, obviously, it's a train station,
但我该穿运动服 还是西装领带 but do I wear a sport coat, or coat and tie...
你可以穿运动服 但你不会喜欢的 You can wear a sports coat, but you're not going like that.
-为什么 -因为你看起来像个白化病人 - Why? - Cause you look like an albino.
他第一次做 所以你会发现 This is his first time, so you can
他面色苍白跟鬼似的 see his complexion is ghost-like.
你觉得热带风情怎样 What do you think of the el tropical?
很适合新人的日光浴 Perfect beginner's tan.
-很好 -那就这样吧 - Oh, great. - Yeah. Let's go!
-你准备好了吗 -好了 - You all set? - Oh, yeah.
-我准备好了 好了 开始吧 -那么 - I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this. - Um... so...
面向前面 按红色的键 喷雾会喷十秒 Face forward, press the red button, spray lasts ten seconds.
闭上眼睛 然后 Keep your eyes closed and call me
完事了用对讲机叫我 on the intercom when you're done.
闭上眼 她想要个金黄皮肤的情人 Eyes closed. She wanted a golden God,
她的愿望要实现了 she's going to get one.
我觉得棕色皮肤 I definitely think that the tan line
让外表更好看 是吗 accentuates the look, don't you?
很性感吧 Sexy
我要开始了 I'm gonna start now.
一 One
二 三 四 五 六 Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
七 八 九 好了 Seven. Eight. Nine. Ok!
喂 Hello!
我已经好了 I'm finished!
再多待一会儿 Be there in a sec.
那么 你真的认识沙克·奥尼尔吗 So, do you, like, really know Shaq?
-看这些号码都是谁的 -我的天啊 - Whose numbers are those? - Oh, my Gosh.
这里有问题 We have a problem here!
-沙克 是 我是查理 -这个关不上 - Shaq! Yeah, Charlie. - It's not turning off!
-告诉他你的名子 -沙克 我是凯莉 - Tell him your name. - Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly.
外面有人吗 Anybody out there?
你记得我吗 我去看过你的比赛 Do you remember me? I went to one of your games.
救命 Help!
我不知道你和谁比赛 但是 Yeah. I don't know who you were playing against, but...
我这里出意外了 I have an emergency here!
救命 Help!
放松 多待一会儿 Just relax. Be there in a sec.
救命 Help!
-日光浴会有意外吗 -他是新人嘛 - A tanning emergency? - Newbies.
保持中火 Keep the heat kind of medium...
加点黄油 然后 Throw a little bit of butter, and...
本地西行列车现在到达二号轨道 Westbound local now arriving on track two.
西行慢车已经到站 Westbound local now arriving.
你去过老水兵专卖店吗 他们工装裤正特价
我美国霍博肯人 I'm from Hoboken.
我是什么 联合国吗 这太疯狂了 What am I, the United Nations? This is crazy.
看 妈妈 是个奥伦鲁巴人 Look, Mom, it's an oompa-loompa.
我不是奥伦鲁巴人 受不了 I'm not an oompa-loompa. I can't do this!
-借过 -丹 - Excuse me... - Dan?
维姬 Vicki?
-你好 -你好 - I mean, hi! - Hi.
看看你 晒得真黑 Look at you! You're so tan.
是啊 Yeah. Yeah.
在博卡 打排球 还有... Boca. Volleyball, and...
看看你 真性感 Look at you. You're hot!
-谢谢 老黑 -丹 - Thanks, Tan. - Dan.
-是丹 -我是黑丹 - I mean, Dan. - I'm tan Dan.
我在楼上给咱俩定了个座位 I got us a table upstairs.
-一起去吃饭吧 -好吗 - Let's eat. - Shall we?
当然 -Yeah.
谢谢 Thank you.
丹 我不知该从何说起 可是... I really don't know where to start, Dan. But...
我想和你分享... I need to share it with...
停 以爱的名义 Stop... In the name of love.
七年前 我们相爱了 Look, seven years ago, we made magic happen.
可时机不对 But it was bad timing.
现在 让我们慢慢来 Now, we'll take it super slow,
不受外界影响 there'll be no outside distractions.
就我们两个 我 Just us. I, um...
我准备好了把这些重新拼在一起 I'm ready to put these back together.
我所需要的只是你那一半 All I need is your half.
-我要坐牢了 -什么 - I'm going to jail. - What?
就是明天 因非法侵入被判入狱两周 Tomorrow. Two weeks for trespassing.
-为什么 -一家医药公司 - Why? - A chemical company wanted
想建个制药厂 to build a plant that would've
污水会排到我房子旁边的小溪里 drained into a stream near my house.
所以我拿着把大枪 So I kind of chained myself to a bulldozer
一把火烧了工厂图纸 and burned the blueprints to the plant.
你可真是个政治活动家 Look at you. You're a political activist.
我有隐藏动机的 Well, I had ulterior motives.
-你是职业政客 -是为了孩子 - You're... career politician? - My kids.
扎克和艾米莉总在小溪旁玩耍 Zach and Emily play near that stream.
孩子 Kids.
我从没想过 You know, I just never thought that...
你会爱上别人 可 you... you'd be attached. But...
事实上 我是个单身母亲 Actually, I'm a single mom.
-双胞胎 -哎哟 - Twins! - Ouch!
他们以为 Yeah. They think
我要去一个叫西部农场的矿泉疗养地 I'm going to a spa named Westford Farms.
你还记得我最好的朋友 You remember my best friend,
西海岸的吉娜吗 Jenna, from south beach.
-记得 -对 就是那个手模 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, the hand model.
孩子们和她住一起 她就像家人一样 They're staying with her. She's like family.
发生了这么多事情 太让我惊讶了 You got so much going on, girl. It just blows my mind.
这不错 可还有一件小事 That's good, because there's one other small detail.
-是什么 -爸爸 - What is it? - Daddy!
你们本该四十五分钟后才回来 You guys weren't supposed to be back for 45 minutes!
我是 爸...爸 I'm... da... da...
看看 又有人惊慌失措了 Oh! Hey. Look who's panicking again.
他看起来不妙 我去叫医护人员 He does not look good. I'm calling the paramedics.
不 我没事 No! I'm ok.
大家伙儿 让我们单独待会儿 好吗 Guys, would you give us a minute? Please.
丹 我六个月前收到你的来信 Dan, I got your letter six months ago,
老实讲 我吓了一跳 and I won't lie, it threw me for a loop.
我已经完全准备好独自生活了 I was completely ready to go it alone.
但就是这封从我孩子的父亲那里来的 But here was this...
长达十二页 写的密密麻麻的信 ...12-page, single-spaced letter from the father of my kids,
突然间让我自问是不是太自私了 And suddenly I had to ask if I was being selfish.
三周前 我们在星期五餐厅吃晚饭 Then three weeks ago, we were in Friday's for dinner,
扎克要去厕所 and Zach had to go to the bathroom,
当我第N次带他去女厕所的时候 and as I was taking him to the ladies' room for the umpteenth time...
我意识到他还从未去过男厕所 ...I realized, he's never even been in a men's room.
真的吗 Really?
孩子们七岁了 他们有父亲 My kids are seven. They have a father.
所以我想 So I thought,
也许是时候让他们知道父亲是谁了 maybe it's time they got to know who he is.
我得承认 I have to confess,
我一直很难和孩子相处 I've always been a little awkward around children.
但我想 如果是自己的孩子 But I guess, if they're your own,
那会完全不同 it's a different ballgame.
吉娜出去面试的时候 Well, we got a few hours to kill
我们还有几个小时来消磨时间 while Jenna goes out on a hand audition.
-我们试试 -好的 - Let's find out. - Ok.
可首先 你觉得 But first, what do you say
把那可笑的褐色弄掉咋样 we get rid of that ridiculous tan?
我有几个祖传的小窍门 I know a few family secrets.
-你不喜欢吗 -对不起 你喜欢吗 - You don't like it? - I'm sorry, do you like it?
-一点也不 -那就好 - Not at all. - Ok.
你的脸感觉怎样 How's your face feel?
一切正常 Oh, pretty much everything.
-来啊 爸爸 -不行 - Come on, dad! - Oh, no.
不能坐旋转的 Not the spinning one.
这会造成灾难 That's a recipe for disaster.
老爸 Hey, dad?
想看看我最爱的五种食物清单吗 Want to see my five favorite food lists?
当然愿意了 扎克 谢谢 Oh, I'd love to, z. Thanks.
扎克喜欢列清单 Zach likes to make lists.
我也喜欢清单 I love lists.
-香辣鸡翅和奶昔 -吃巧克力吗 - Hot wings and milkshakes. - Chocolate?
不 我吃了会拉肚子 Oh, no, it gives me diarrhea.
胃难受还有胃肠胀气 I mean, stomach problems and frequent gas-spasms.
我要去厕所 I have to go to the bathroom.
好 Oh, ok.
忍着点 你能看着艾米莉吗 Hang on. Can you watch Emily?
-当然 -我想去男厕所 - Sure. - I want to go to the men's room.
和我 With me?
好 Ok.
你很老了吧 为什么你没有其他孩子呢 You're pretty old. How come you don't have any other kids?
这个嘛... Well, um...
最初呢 是因为... Initially, it was kind of a...
你是知道孩子是从哪来的 对吗 You do know where kids come from, right?
-当然 -那你能告诉我吗 - Yeah, sure. - Can you tell me?
这个嘛... Well, um...
实际上 雌雄两个物种 In nature, the male and the female of the species, uh,
经过所谓的"交颈" in what some have called the "dance of springtime", you know...
这有些复杂 It's complicated.
我就站在这儿吗 Do I just stand here?
妈妈一般在外面等 My mom usually waits outside.
我相信她是的 那我也出去等 I'll bet she does. I'm out of here.
-你们来的真早 -亲爱的 - Ooh! You're early. - Hi, hon!
我过会再涂护手霜好了 I can do my hand cream later. Hi!
-吉娜阿姨好 -好 - Hi, aunt Jenna! - Hi.
你好 扎克 你好 艾米莉 Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily!
我被录取了 I booked it!
我要去厕所 I gotta go potty.
好吧 家里有柠檬水 All right. Lemonade inside!
我来拿行李 I got the bags.
-不用 不用 没事 -不 不用 - No, no, it's all right... - No, please.
不 我来弄 Oh, no! I got it.
好了 我来帮你 Ok, I got it.
不 等等 不 不要... No, wait. No, please don't.
-上帝啊 -深呼吸 深呼吸 - Oh, my god. - Breathe! Breathe!
对不起 Oh, sorry!
她会好的 她很坚强 She's gonna be fine. She's a fighter.
她看起来很好 She looks good.
你看起来不错 亲爱的 You look good, hon.
把手机递给我好吗 Can you hand me my cell phone?
我要给经纪人打个电话 I have to call my agent.
好 就在这儿 给你 亲爱的 All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon.
-要帮忙吗 -不 不 - Do you want help? - No, no.
我让你自己待会儿 I'm going to give you a minute.
实在太抱歉了 I'm so sorry.
上帝啊 我该怎么办哪 Oh, god! What am I gonna do?
你是个了不起的姑娘 Come on, you're a great gal.
你一定有很多朋友可以帮忙 You must have plenty of friends you could call.
我能把孩子托付给她们两个礼拜吗 That I could trust with my kids for two weeks?
这真是个灾难 我再没人能依靠了 This is a disaster! I don't have anybody else!
不是这样的 不 不是 你还有我 That's not true. No, no. You have me.
让我来 我来照顾孩子们 I'll do it. I'll take the kids.
让我来照顾吧 I'll do it.
-我来 -真的吗 - I will. - Really?
当然 Oh, yeah.
就这么着吧 Hey, yeah. See?
这太好了 真的太好了 This is good. This is a good thing.
-你还认得别人吗 -不 我自己来 - Do you know anybody else? - No, just me.
就这样突然间 And then suddenly,
在我们谈最大一笔买卖的关头 you're supposed to take care of twins
你却要照顾这对双胞胎 丹 when we have the biggest deal ever? Aw, Dan!
是我让他们的阿姨戴一个月的夹板 I put their aunt in a halo for a month!
查理 我该怎么做 Charlie, what am I supposed to do?
你该把他们送回去 You're supposed to give them back!
他们有二十四小时 They got 24 hours!
他们会另找一个保姆 They'll find another baby-sitter!
我不能把他们送回去 I can't give them back!
他们是我的孩子 不是小狗 They're my kids. It's not like puppies.
"你把他们送回去" "You take them back."
-咱们别吵了 -好 - Let's break it down. - Ok.
就两个星期 It's two weeks.
-对 -好了 我们想想 我们... - Yeah. - All right, let's see. We got, uh...
他们每天睡十到十二个小时 对吗 They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day?
-如果走运的话 -你家有电视 - If you're lucky. - You've got TV.
有上厕所时间 You've got bathroom time.
有暂时休息时间 You give them a lot of timeouts.
你知道吗 You know what?
你可以就当一天当90分钟的父亲 You're looking at about 90 minutes of being a dad a day.
九十分钟 Ninety minutes?
就是熬时间 仅此而已 It's a run-out-the-clock situation, that's all.
-不是一球定胜负 -你不会有事的 - It's not sudden death. - You'll be fine.
我们能搞定 Ha! We can do this.
"我们" 不 不 "We"? No, no.
你就是孤身在另一星球上 丹 You are on planet Dan now, baby.
而我在地球 为你加油 I'm down here on earth, just cheering you on.
你是始作俑者 记得吗 You started this, remember?
是你把我带去佛罗里达 You're the one who took me down to Florida.
"开心先生"要教我如何生活 "Mr. Feel-Good" is gonna teach me how to live.
那时我并不孤单 I wasn't alone then,
我现在也不会孤单 对吧 I'm not gonna be alone now, ok?
那么 明天早晨七点三十分 So, tomorrow morning, 7:30,
我要你在公寓门口整装待发 I want you outside your apartment ready to go.
因为如果我要做两周的老爸 Because if I'm going to be an old dad for two weeks,
你就要做"查理叔叔" you're going to be "Uncle Charlie."
我才不要照顾那两个孩子 Well, I don't want to take care of the kids!
我给两个孩子打包好了 For both of them, I've packed enough
足够在各种场合穿的衣服 clothes for every occasion.
-这是所有的东西吗 -是的 - That everything? - Yeah.
真不敢相信我会这么做 I can't believe I'm doing this.
我也一样 Me, too.
这是中毒控制中心的电话 Here's the number for the poison control center.
-中毒控制 -你需要中毒物质的清单吗 - Poison control? - Do you need a list of poisons?
不用 我想多数我是知道的 No, I think most of them I know.
我应该汇总一个常见有毒摄入物清单 I should have compiled a list of commonly ingested poisons!
我不会毒死我们的孩子 I'm not going to poison our children.
他们在我这里很安全 They're in safe hands.
-你们去过赌场吗 -没有 - Have you ever been to a casino? - No.
-看过有关赌场的电影吗 -没有 - Have you ever seen the movie casino? - No.
好吧 公共休息室只有付费电话 Ok, there are only pay phones in the common room,
我会打你手机的 so I will call you on your cell phone.
-好的 -别雇保姆 - Ok. - And no baby-sitters.
拜托了 丹 Please, Dan.
他们度过了七年没有父亲的日子 They've gone seven years without a dad.
答应我你不会把他们托付给陌生人 Promise me you will not leave them with strangers.
-一定不找陌生人 -丹 维姬 - No strangers. Check. - Dan! Vicki!
孩子们都没有看过《十三号星期五》 The kids have never seen Friday the 13th,
1和2都没看过 Part One or Two!
老天哪 Oh, my god!
他在开玩笑 他总是这样 He's kidding. He's a kidder.
他连《绿野仙踪》都怕 He was scared of the Wizard of Oz.
他在开玩笑呢 He's kidding.
猴子都能把他吓坏的 The monkeys got him nuts.
还有一件事 Oh, and one more thing.
我听着呢 I'm up for it.
艾米莉有点幻想 Well, Emily has kind of concocted
你是个超级英雄 this idea that you're a superhero.
为什么 Oh. Why?
她就是这么解释你身在何处的 Well, it was her way of explaining where you were,
而这对我也没什么坏处 and it seemed harmless enough to me.
那我有什么超能力呢 What are my powers?
你能挡住子弹 而且会飞 You can stop bullets and you can fly.
能挡子弹也会飞 Bulletproof and flying.
一... 二... 三! One... Two... Three!
哦 天呐 我得走了 Oh, gosh, I gotta go.
好吧 Ok.
我会很想念他们的 I'm going to miss them so much.
答应我 Promise me...
你会尽你所有的努力 you will devote every ounce of your
去照顾他们 丹 being to taking care of them, Dan.
我保证 I promise.
-你发誓 -我发誓 - Promise me. - I promise.
那么你不是超级英雄 So, you're not a superhero?
现在不是 Not at the present time.
能开快一点吗 白痴 Want to pick up the pace, Chachi?
我们刚被一辆清洁车超了 We just got passed by a street sweeper.
挂到行驶档行吗 老太太 How about putting it in drive, grandma?
车上有孩子 There are babies on board!
不好意思 孩子们 Excuse me, kids.
谁要吃巧克力碎薄饼 Ooh... Who's up for chocolate chip pancakes?
-我要 我要 -早餐不能吃巧克力碎 - Me! Me! - No chocolate chips for breakfast.
为什么不能 Why not?
因为孩子需要节制 书上是这么说的 'Cos kids crave limits. It's on the books.
大伙来点健康的食物 Hey, everybody, let's kick this off
代替巧克力片 with some really healthy choices.
吃格兰诺拉麦片怎么样 How about the Heartland Granola?
天然清肠食物 That's like nature's broom!
棒极了 That's kind of wonderful.
-对不起 -没关系 扎克 - Sorry. - It's ok, Zach.
-给你 -只是个小意外 - Here you go. - It's an accident.
这种事总会发生 That kind of thing happens.
你不需要担心 You have nothing to worry about.
-您好吗 -你好 - Hi there. How are you? - Hi.
-还好 -你好啊 - Good. - Well, hello.
-你叫什么名字 -罗谢尔 - What's your name? - Rochelle.
罗谢尔 Oh, Rochelle.
没想到 Well, I didn't know they could
他们这里还能雇得起超级名模 afford to hire supermodels here.
老爷子 Hey, pops?
当爷爷的感觉很棒不是吗 Isn't being a grandparent the best?
我不是爷爷 I'm not a grandparent.
我的孙子们叫我"节节" My grandkids call me "nub-nub".
你的孙子们怎么称呼你 What do your grandkids call you?
节节挺好听 Nub-nub's good.
在帕梅拉餐厅用餐的人们请注意 Attention, Pamela's diners.
我们刚得知 We've just been informed we have two
这里有两位加入祖父母俱乐部的新成员 new members to the Grandparents' Club.
老年人 老年人 尽情享用老年人自助餐 Hey! seniors, seniors, seniors! Enjoy the grand buffet!
老年人 老年人 我们希望您常来 Seniors, seniors, seniors! We hope you're here to stay!
老年人 老年人 我们喜欢热热闹闹 Seniors, seniors, seniors! We like to make a fuss!
老年人 老年人 每来十次 这次买单 Seniors, seniors, seniors, every tenth meal is
归我们 on us!
老年人 老年人 Seniors, seniors, seniors...
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
罗谢尔 罗谢尔 Rochelle, Rochelle...
我不知道这是怎么了 I don't know what happened back there.
我有点受刺激 Just a little too much excitement for me.
不是吧 Oh, no.
不 不 这只是个意外 Oh, no, no. This is just an accident.
别担心 没什么不好意思的 Don't worry. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.
-我没有不好意思 -我给你拿东西擦擦 - I'm not embarrassed. - I'll get you something.
只是一杯水而已 It's a glass of water, that's all.
一杯水也能让我膀胱失控 One glass of water gets my pump going, too.
还有 请你告诉他们我们非常重视 Also, please tell them we are very focused
和西村先生的高尔夫球赛 On the golf game with mr. Nishamura.
在你简历上写"我会爆气泡膜" Write that on your resume? "oh, I pop bubble paper."
你能让他们消停吗 Would you handle them?
失陪一下 Will you excuse me for one moment?
离开那儿 对不起 丹 Get off there. I'm sorry, dan.
-这成什么样子 小混混吗 -我拿到你的手机啦 - What are you, a frat boy? - I got your phone.
-中间休息 -中间休息 - Timeout. - Ah! Timeout.
-还给我 -抓住他们 我们要这么做吗 - Give that back! - Keep-away? Are we doing this?
扔给我 艾米莉 把手机扔给我 Toss it to me, Emily! toss it to me!
你日语说的真好 Your Japanese is so terrific.
-你也会日语 -我不会 - You speak japanese? - Well, no.
但我不用会说日语 But I don't have to speak Japanese
也知道你说日语的时候有多漂亮 To see how beautiful you are when you speak it.
别去那儿 别去那儿 回这边来 Don't go out there! Don't go out there! Come back this way.
-是的 我是他们最爱的叔叔 -他们几岁了 - Yeah, I'm their favorite uncle. - How old are they?
你觉得呢 How old do you think they are?
-7岁 -7岁 太对了 - Seven? - seven! yeah. You're good.
-他们是异卵双胞胎 -还有别的可能吗 - Fraternal twins? - Is there any other kind?
你要是像我一样经常和孩子们相处 Oh, jeez. When you're around kids as much as I am,
就会多少有点幽默感 You got to develop a sense of humor.
但这也是一种收获 But it's rewarding, too.
你喜欢海滩吗 最亲爱的查理叔叔 Do you like the beach, "Favorite uncle" Charlie?
超爱 Love!
那周六来韦斯特伯特吧 Why don't you come to Westport on saturday.
我要去朋友的海滩别墅见他们 I'm going to meet some friends at their beach house.
你可以带你的侄女和侄子一起来 You can even bring your niece and nephew.
我会去的 美丽翻译阿曼达 Well, I just may do that, "beautiful translator" Amanda.
露营 学会骑脚踏车 Go camping, learn how to ride a two-wheeler,
第一次看职业棒球赛 修滑板和冲浪 My first pro baseball game, refinish a deck and surfing.
这是我的和爸爸共事清单 That's my dad list.
听起来好极了 把帽子戴上 That sounds great. Pull up your hoods, ok?
-把这个也戴上 好吗 -为什么 - Put these on, all right? - Why?
严格说来 你们不应该出现在这里 Technically, you're not supposed to be here,
更别提住在这儿了 let alone living here.
不过会很有趣的 出发 But we're going to have a lot of fun. Let's go.
是丹吗 Dan?
贝蒂 躲起来 快 快 Ooh! Betty. Hide! go, go!
-丹 是你吗 -你好 贝蒂 - Dan, is that you? - hey, Betty!
-你气色不错 -你也是 宝贝 - Hi! You are looking good. - You, too, baby.
什么东西那么吵 What's all that racket?
我不知道 可能是有人搬进来 不确定 I don't know. Maybe immigrants. I'm not sure.
更可能是浣熊 Raccoons, most likely.
天啊 是小孩子 No... oh, my god, I see kids!
-不是 这些是我的 -我看到小孩子了 - No, these are my... - I see kids!
你干嘛不带他们去旅馆 Why don't you put them in a hotel?
他们会喜欢客房服务的 They would love room service.
他们也会喜欢泡温泉 They'd also love a spa,
但我们不能 别跑 小心点 but we can't... Don't run! Careful!
-别碰那个 -小心点 慢点 别跑了 - Don't touch that! - Easy. Slow down! no running!
小心 都是很贵的东西 Watch out! A lot of expensive things...
-你疯了吗 -什么意思 - Are you out of your mind? - Why?
别装蒜 Come on!
听着 是你强迫我去那个地方的 Listen. You're the one that forced me into that place.
-我哄你去的 是哄你去的 -别跟我玩文字游戏 - I cajoled you, I cajoled you. - Don't give me semantics.
看吧 他们要上楼了 Look, they're going upstairs now!
这是我的屋子 伙计 这是我找乐子的地方 This is my crib, man! This is where I get down.
这里是我投三分球的地方 This is where I sink the three points.
这儿是我持球触地得分的地方 This is where I throw the td.
这儿不适合孩子 伙计 This isn't for kids, man.
看看 外面的游泳池足足有15英尺深 Look, that pool out there, that's got a 15-foot deep end.
看看这儿 家具的边角都很尖锐 还有... Look at this place! I got pointy-edged furniture. I got...
看那些长矛 可能还有毒呢 Look at Those spears, they probably still have poison on them.
你不会想要他们待在这屋子里的 You don't want them in this house.
我的生活儿童不宜 伙计 I do not lead a child-safe life, man!
我就不是过那样日子的人 It is not... not how I roll. You know?
查理 Charlie...
-我的境况岌岌可危 -又来了 - I'm barely treading water here. - Aw, don't...
我跟这俩孩子认识时间不长 I don't know these kids very long,
可我毕竟是他们的爸爸 but I'm still their dad.
他们需要一个家 我也需要 And they need a home. And so do I.
现在 你就是我们的依靠 Right now, you're the closest thing we got.
谢谢你 兄弟 你是最棒的 Thanks, bro. You're the best.
你动之以情 这招奏效了 You are emotional and it paid off
-太好了 -只此一次 - Good. - This time.
好的 Ok.
是维姬 孩子们 Oh, it's Vicki! kids!
一开始所有人都以为爸爸是我们的爷爷 Well, first everybody thought dad was our grandpa.
然后剩下的时间他几乎都在工作 Then he pretty much worked the rest of the day.
一切都好 "Everything is fine."
而且他还说了 And he did say he was going to do
要做扎克的与爸爸共事清单上的第一件事 the first thing on zach's dad list.
听起来很有希望 是吧 一切都会很棒 That sounds promising. See? This is gonna be great.
爸爸要跟你说话 Here's dad.
维姬 她听上去很好吧 Hey, vic. Didn't she sound wonderful?
-事情怎么样 -没问题 - How's everything going? - I'm ok.
你一点也不用担心我们 Don't you worry a moment about how things are going here
因为一切都好极了 Because everything's going great.
好啦 孩子们 关灯了 Ok, you guys... lights out.
好的 Ok.
好的 睡吧 Alrighty. There you go.
-都抱着毛绒玩具了吗 -是的 - You have your creature? Good. - I do.
你呢 You ok?
晚安 Good night.
我刚才跟女儿握手道晚安 I just shook my daughter's hand good night.
我不擅长这个 查理 I'm no good at this, Charlie.
加油 你在努力 这才是关键 Come on. You're trying. That's what matters.
谢谢 Thanks.
不过他们真可爱 They are cute, though.
是啊 尤其是他们进入"休眠状态"的时候 Yeah. They are when they're in a... dormant configuration.
看这个 尼克 Whoo-wee! look at this, Nick!
-准备好做另外一个了吗 -别钻过头 - Ready for the other one? - Don't get drill happy.
不不不 就这样 No, no, no. It's all good.
-你们在干吗 -先生 干很棒的事 - What are you doing? - Sir, it's cool.
这位是尼克 我是盖瑞 That's Nick and I'm Gary.
我们是儿童安全保障专家 We're the childproofers.
-是吗 -我正要打开 - Really? - I'm going to need access
你所有的私人抽屉和物件 To all your personal drawers and stuff.
-丹 丹 - 查理 - Dan! Dan! - Charlie!
-这是你干的吗 -是的 - Did you do this? - Oh, yeah.
-是你把他们找来的 -非常正确 - Did you bring them in? - Definitely.
-为什么 -你把这房子说得对小孩很危险啊 -Why? -You described this house as being a dangerous place for kids,
所以我雇了最好的儿童安全保障师 So I hired the best childproofers there are.
那边的高个子 他是土木工程师 The tall guy over there, he was a civil engineer.
哪个土木工程师会来给房子做儿童安全检验 What kind of a civil engineer would be baby-proofing a house?
失败的那个 先生 我是个失败的土木工程师 Failed one, sir, I'm a failed civil engineer.
我造的公路都烂透了 全是坑 I got a lot of bad road behind me. Lot of potholes.
所以我在保护你的孩子上 That's why I'm going to be extra
会格外注意 vigilant in protecting your children.
他们七岁了 而且他们是他的孩子 They're seven. And they're his kids.
-这倒是真的 -这需要循序渐进 - That's true. - That is progressive,
-我会全力以赴 -算了吧 - and I'm all for it. - oh, come on!
连我都知道不需要为7岁的孩子 Even I know you do not baby-proof a house
对房子做儿童安检 for seven-year-olds.
那边15英尺深的游泳池怎么办 What about the 15-foot deep end?
先生 你有壁炉用喷火器 Sir, you got a flamethrower for a fireplace.
-这是流行 时尚 -那长矛呢 - It's a fashion. It's a style. - The spears?
谁会买有毒的长矛啊 What guy buys poison-tipped spears?
一千年以前它是有毒 A thousand years ago they were poison.
现在还有没有毒我就不知道了 I don't know if they're poison now.
你是一千年前买的吗 You bought those a thousand years ago?
你指望我会相信吗 Expect me to believe that?
你设计的就是个恐怖屋 You designed this house of horrors.
是你把孩子带进来的 住手 别吃那个 You brought the kids to this house. Stop it! Don't eat that.
那些是狗粮 Those are dog treats.
吃过那个烟熏鲑鱼 Everything tastes like dog food
我尝什么都跟狗粮一个味 after that smoked salmon I just had.
你吃了鲑鱼 You ate the salmon?
-那是件礼物啊 -正是 - That was a gift. - Yes, it was.
-你们最好收拾行李 -收拾行李 - You guys better pack. - Pack?
-你们干嘛穿成这样 -我们收拾行李干什么 - Why are you dressed like that? - What do we pack for?
露营 这是我与爸爸共事清单上的第一项 Camping. That's first on my dad list.
我们是先锋营的 And we're pioneers,
所以你得找个最近的露营地 so you have to find the nearest campground.
这周六之前我们得完成50个西村项目的文件 We have 50 files of Nishamura work to do before saturday.
孩子们 露营 我们可去不了 Guys, camping... I don't think we can do it.
-可你答应过 -我知道 - But you promised! - I know I promised,
可我没想到露营还包括露营旅行 But I didn't realize camping involved a camping trip,
我们得重新安排时间 and we have to reschedule.
-可你答应过 -有时候承诺 - But you promised. - Sometimes promises
-不是板上钉钉 -可你答应过 - aren't written in stone. - But you promised!
迄今为止我们家四代都是先锋营的 We've been a pioneer family for four generations now.
实际上 我就是跟着我爷爷泰德在这里长大的 I practically grew up in these woods following grandpa Ted.
63年前我爷爷是童子军团长 Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago,
曾接受了先锋营的至高荣誉 And was the recipient of the supreme pioneer honor.
长眠于 Interred for eternity...
他亲手挖的坟墓里 ...in a tomb erected with his own hands,
就是这里 就在这个露营地 Right here on this... on this very campsite.
别在孩子们面前这样 Not in front of the kids.
你让我想起来抢走了我女朋友的老家伙 Hey! You remind me of that old dude who stole my girlfriend.
-什么 -我曾发誓 - What? - I promised myself...
就是你 头发像一堵墙的先生 Yeah, you. You! Mr. Wall-of-hair.
里克 在这你是个顾问 这是片神圣的土地 Rick, you're a counselor here. This is sacred ground.
-我得告诉你些事情 -先锋营 - Something I got to tell you. - The pioneers have meant
就是泰勒家族的全部 我就是干这个的 the world to the Taylor Clan. That's who I am.
团长 爱国者 TSA监督员 Troop leader. Patriot. Tsa supervisor.
和父亲 我是巴里·泰勒 And dad. I am Barry Taylor.
先生们 为什么不关掉电子设备 Gentlemen, why don't we put down the electronic devices,
试着更投入一点呢 And try to get into it a little bit?
毕竟 我们来这都是为了孩子 Hmm? After all... we're here for the kids.
好吧 Fine.
对不起 Sorry.
来这是为了孩子 他说什么呢 Here for the kids? What's he talking about?
好了 孩子们 想来点好玩的吗 Ok, kids. Who wants to have some fun?
想 Yeah!
让我们来挖坑 Let's go dig a hole.
-你啥毛病 -我们去挖坑怎么样 - What's your problem? - How about we go dig a hole.
他那么恶意地看着我 He's giving me the stink eye.
你这个小偷 我爱她 我曾那么爱她 You thief. I loved her. I loved her so much.
-你在说什么啊 -不关你的事 老太太 - What are you saying? - My beef is not with you, old woman.
谢谢 Thank you.
-好吧 现在我明白了 -他有很多 - Ok, now I got it. - He has a lot.
扎克 艾米莉 为什么不叫你们的爷爷 Hey, Zach, Emily. Why don't you get your grandpa
放下工作 to leave the office...
过来跟我们一起参加活动呢 ...and come over here and join us in the woods?
他不是我们的爷爷 他是我们的爸爸 He's not our grandpa, he's our dad.
当然 扎克 对我来说也是 爷爷就跟爸爸一样 Sure, Zach. My grandpa was like a dad to me, too.
他真是我爸 童子军团长巴里 He is, troop master Barry.
他是我爸爸 那是他搭档 He's my dad, and that's his partner.
-感觉像我们有两个爸爸 -才发现吧 - It's like we have two dads! - Just found out.
相信我 这是个惊喜 Trust me. It was a surprise.
-我们在一起30年了 -感觉就像50年 - Been together 30 years. - Feels like 50.
-好吧 -我们就像情人 - Oh, well... - We're soul mates, really.
你得有一个至交好友 You must have a best buddy.
不错 一个朋友 你可以... Yeah. A pal? Someone you can...
-好吧 -保重 - Fine. - Take care.
-没人要 -没人要 - Loner. - Loner.
-真失败 -真失败 - Loser! - Loser.
-狗熊禁止入内 -谢谢 童子军团长巴里 - No bears allowed. - Thank you, troop master Barry.
-谢谢 -不客气 孩子们 - Thanks. - No trouble at all, kids.
你们姐俩准备好了玩会儿极限飞碟吗 You ladies ready to play a little ultimate frisbee?
-可以 睾丸素先生 -太好了 - I think so, Mr. Testosterone. - Yeah.
极限飞碟 我们的绝活 Ultimate frisbee? That's our game.
-让我们为了孩子来玩吧 -好的 - Let's do this for our kids, huh? - Yeah!
来吧 伙计 来干吧 为了孩子们 Come on, man. Let's do it. Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby.
好的 来吧 运动营销 All right, let's do this. Sports marketing!
运动营销 一言为定 打败他们 Sports marketing! yeah! Make the deal. Get them!
先生们 那是熊的行为 That's bear scat, gentlemen.
是啊 是 没错 Yeah... yeah, it is.
-爸爸 -什么 - Dad? - Yeah?
我觉得"行为"是指大便 I think "scat" is poop.
-是吗 儿子 -是的 - Really, son? - Yeah.
-你在我脸上抹大便 -是的 - You wiped poop on my face? - Yeah.
真倒霉 伙计 Scat happens, man.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four,
五 六 七 八... Five, six, seven, eight...
来吧 Go long!
好啊 宝贝儿 Yes! yeah, baby!
巴里 我在这儿 传给我 Barry! I'm over here, I'm open!
传给我 I'm open!
-对不起 -我的牙床 - Sorry. - ow, my gums!
你让别人帮你出头吗 You get your wingman to fight your battles for you?
-我没抢你的女人 -我是个男人 - I didn't take your woman. - I'm a man.
我都不认识你的女人 I don't know your woman!
你先是抢走了加尼斯·爱普鲍姆 First you steal Janice Applebaum.
-你搞错了 -然后你又偷走了我的心 - You're confused! - Then you steal my soul.
-什么 -现在来真格的 - What? - Now it's on, Smiley.
监狱法则 Prison Rules!
-监狱法则 -不是吧 - Prison rules? - Oh, boy.
加油 爸爸 快起来啊 Come on, Dad. You can get up.
还是算了 Never mind.
回传 回传 Back, back, back, back.
暂停 Time out.
离我远点 Get off of me!
躺着吧 菜鸟 Stay down, gentle warrior.
发射 Pull.
-经典的两发两中 -漂亮 巴里 - Textbook double bull's eye. - Nice, Barry.
这样你才能在胸前挂满奖章 That's how you get yourself a chest full of merit patches.
谁还想试试 Anyone else?
发射 Pull!
-巴里 -我说了 发射 - Barry... - I said... pull!
我的错 My bad!
不 No!
泰德爷爷 Grandpa Ted!
我们是他的孩子 凭这我们就该获得奖章 We should get our merit patches just for being his kids.
对不起 有多糟 Sorry! How bad is it?
-非常糟 -好的 - Bad! - OK.
拜你的小小户外活动所赐 As a result of your little outdoor adventure,
我的坐骨神经痛又犯了 I just want you to know that my sciatica has flared up,
还弄得浑身臭烘烘 and I stink like a steakhouse.
-非常感谢 -甭客气 - So thanks. - Oh, you're welcome.
野营本来是3天 被我缩短成了9小时 Don't mind the fact that I took a three-day camping trip
你别介意就好 and shortened it to nine hours.
-我把火点着了 -不 - I made fire! Wow! - Oh, no!
这可不妙 去把车准备好 That's not good. Get the car ready.
虽然造成小小附带损害 Little collateral damage,
不过我们能回来处理生意了 but we're back on track with the deal.
现在就看打高尔夫球了 Now it's all about the golf game.
你的背怎么样 How's your back?
-又酸又痛 -那你得赶快恢复 - Tight. - Well, untighten it.
因为西村嗜高尔夫如命 Because Nishamura uses golf as a metaphor for life.
如果你搞砸了 就得跟西村说'撒由那拉'了 So if you mess that up, it's sayonara, Nishamura.
我的灵丹妙药 One of my little magic pills.
我的管家碰巧 My housekeeper happens to arrange them
把药摆成一个环形 就像这样 in an organized circular fashion, like so.
-"原谅我"药盒 -是的 - Pardon-moi. - Yes.
真奇怪 我们什么时候也变成老人家了 That's amazing. When did we become our fathers?
哥们 我真希望那个童子军团长巴里 Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry
也能尝尝这些小药片的副作用 deal with the side effects of even one of these puppies.
看这个 治我的前列腺老化的 Look at this. For my aging prostate.
-怎样 -副作用包括 - Right. - Side effects include
舌头肿胀 口干舌燥及脓包性溃疡 swollen tongue, dry mouth and pus-filled canker sores.
-我靠 -这个是复合消炎药 - Come on. - This is a joint anti-inflammatory.
最大剂量服用可导致食欲失控 Maximum dosage may cause bouts of uncontrollable appetite.
那没什么 就是食欲强烈 我能应付 That's not so bad. The munchies. I could deal with that.
看这个 治高血压的 Look at this one. High blood pressure.
当心服用后会突然失去视觉纵深感 "Watch out for sudden loss of depth perception."
这个小药片是降低胆固醇的 This tiny pill lowers your bad cholesterol.
不过第一次服用时 把我弄了个局部面瘫 But the first time I took it, partial facial paralysis.
-不会吧 -真的 脸僵得跟个马戏团小丑似的 - Come on. - Oh, yeah, I froze up like a circus clown.
-就像这样 -你开玩笑吧 - I was, like, "Ha." - You're kidding.
真的 就这样 Yeah, like...
-我的腰闪了 -老兄... - Threw my back out. - Man...
-我们还要熬多久 -一周零四天又9小时 - How much longer we got? - One week, four days, nine hours.
-苍天啊 -老天会保佑我们的 - Mmm... Good Lord. - God help us all.
爸爸 我非常需要有人演方塔纳国王 Hey, Dad, I'm in desperate need of a King Fontana.
-你来演行吗 -我的医生说 - You want to play? - My doctor says that
打高尔夫球这天 I can't get down on the floor,
我不能趴在地上 弯腰都不行 even crouch, on a golf day.
看来我有遗传性膝关节问题 It seems I have a genetic predisposition to knee problems.
这样说你也会有这毛病 你得当心才行 That means you have it, too. So you have to be very careful, OK?
尼克 我告诉过你别用环氧树脂 Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.
这会留下擦不掉的污渍和气味 It's going to leave a permanent stain and an odor.
你怎么从来就不能夸夸我 Why can't you ever tell me I did a good job?
好吧 大师 这东西怎么弄 All right, maestro, how do I do this?
先顺时针转四分之一圈 Um, OK... You want to go quarter turn clockwise,
拉开插销 再把另一边旋转180度 grab the lever, then use the counter lever to spin 180 degrees...
你为什么要在这里充电 Why are you charging that in here?
我总是碍爸爸的事 I keep getting in dad's way.
他总不能在这儿工作 对吧 He can't do any business in here, right?
然后松开 搞定 Release like that, and voila.
看看有没有儿童牙膏 Check if they have kids' toothpaste.
那种老人用的牙膏味道真冲 That old people stuff burns my...
-我们该告诉大人吗 -我想我记得怎么放的 - Should we tell? - I think I remember where they go.
我们把这个放在... We'll put this one in...
-这个在这儿 -这些放在这里 - This one in here. - Put them in here.
我这是干吗 都是些大老爷们儿 What am I doing? They're guys.
伙计们 我们走 OK, guys, let's go!
你们饿吗 Are you guys still hungry?
-我们刚吃过 -你也是啊 - We just ate. - So did you.
我知道 可我觉得饿死了 I know, but I'm starved.
真奇怪 That's weird. Hmm.
你身上带糖了吗 别骗我 Do you have candy bars on you? Don't lie to me.
-他怎么了 -不知道 - What's wrong with him? - I don't know.
-嘿 你们来了 -我们来了 - Hey, you made it. - We made it. Yeah.
我们能去玩吗 Can we go play?
去吧 那边有玩的 去看看 Oh, yeah, go ahead. There's games over there. Check it out.
等会儿见 Catch you later.
你朋友可真不少啊 Wow. You got a lot of friends.
其实并不都是我的朋友 Oh, well, they're not actually all my friends.
和我一样都是来吊唁的 It's a bereavement group I belong to.
-吊唁 -是的 - Bereavement? - Yeah.
我祖母6个月前去世了 My grandma passed away six months ago.
节哀 I'm sorry.
大伙儿是来缅怀的 Everyone here is dealing with loss.
然后大家周末在一起聚餐 And then on the weekends we have a potluck.
聚餐 在哪儿 Potluck? Where?
西村先生 非常荣幸 Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor.
-见到你很高兴 -我也是 - Nice to meet you. - Me, too.
-我儿子李 -李 - My son, Riku. - Riku.
-你好 你好 -你好 你好 - Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey... - Hey. Hey. Hey.
谢谢 Thank you.
舌头肿胀 Tongue is swollen.
我们把今天的午餐献给勇敢的贾斯汀 We are dedicating lunch today to our brave Justine,
就在两天前她不幸过世了 who passed away just two days ago.
语音信箱 不 查理 是我 Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.
我想我们的药混了 I think we switch peers.
我喜欢吃蛋糕 I love cupcakes!
她留下了她那享誉世界的大黄派作为礼物 She left us a gift of one of her world-famous rhubarb pies,
这是她在生命的最后几小时 that she baked through her pain
忍受着病痛折磨烤制的 of the last few hours of her life.
太好吃了 Good mercy!
不说了 西村还在旁边 给我回电 No talk. Nishamura. Call me.
准备好了吗 Are you ready?
那是贾斯汀的大黄派 That's Justine's rhubarb pie!
贾斯汀在哪儿 我想给她一个热烈拥抱 Where is she? I want to give Justine a big hug.
-她死了 -我深感悲痛 - She's dead. - My condolences.
她死了 She's dead!
她死了她死了 把它给我 她死了 She's dead! She's dead! Give me it! Dead! She's dead!
这个味道也相当棒 That's a close second.
-我的脸在抽搐吗 -你看上去帅极了 - Is my face twitching? - You look great.
你看上去...帅极了 You look... great.
查理 你没事吧 Charlie? Are you OK?
那个派的事我十分抱歉 I am so sorry about that whole pie thing.
肯定是我的血糖什么的出了问题 It must be my blood sugar or something.
没关系 我想我已经让他们平静下来了 It's OK. I think I calmed them down.
来吧 我们正在做环绕追思 Come on. We're having circle time.
环绕追思 Circle time?
是的 就是大家围聚在一起共寄哀思 Yes, it's when the whole group gathers and shares their grief.
伙计们 我去去就来 我去那边环绕追思 Oh... Guys, I'll be back. I got to go to circle time.
-丹 -什么 - Um... Hey, Dan? - Hmm?
你最近好吗 How are you doing?
我最近花3000美元置办了套正宗和服 I recently put down $3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.
我就是想看看你是否一切正常 I just want to make sure it goes OK.
丹桑 Dan-san,
想试试我的球杆吗 Would you like to use my club?
是同意的意思吗 Is that a "yes"?
他怎么不理我父亲呢 Why is he ignoring my father?
不 他只是太投入了 No, he's just really intense.
他打球时心无旁骛 He excludes all but the game.
这种专注你也该学学 儿子 A focus you could learn as well, my son.
请 Dozo!
我知道这滋味 天啊 I knew it. Oh, gosh.
深呼气 深呼吸就没事了 走走就好了 Breathe. Just breathe through it. Walk it off. Walk it off.
没事的 没事的 We're good. We're good.
一会儿就过去了 然后就...又回来了 It just passes, and then... And then it comes back.
在经受了9个月的病痛折磨之后 After nine months of excruciating pain,
癌细胞扩散了 the cancer had spread.
我们都会支持你 We're all here for you.
你觉得这很好笑吗 Do you think this is funny?
他觉得很可笑 He thinks it's funny.
每个人表达悲痛的方式各有不同 Everybody grieves in their own way.
这倒也是 That's true.
如果我不笑 就要哭出来了 If I don't laugh, I'll cry.
高尔夫之神在眷顾着你 The golf gods look favorably upon you.
这真是个吉兆 This is a very good omen.
那个派真好吃 That was some delicious pie.
丹 你看到西村的文件了吗 Dan, have you seen the Nishamura file?
爸爸 Hey Dad,
明天教我骑自行车行吗 Maybe tomorrow you can teach me how to ride a two-wheel.
我现在脑子里一堆事 I got a lot on my mind right now.
我得集中精力 做成这单生意 I'm trying to focus, finish this business deal.
爸爸 你都不努力一下 Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.
我是在挣扎 知道吗 I'm struggling, OK?
这和努力是一回事 只不过没成功 That's like trying, it just... without succeeding.
天哪 他把传真机电源拔了 Oh, come on. He unplugged the fax machine.
有两个插座闲着 他非得拔传真机的电源 Two open plugs and he has to unplug the fax machine
来给他的游戏机充电 to plug in his little gaming system.
这可不是闹着玩 Big deal. Come on.
如果不能及时收传真 还做什么生意 You can't run a business if you can't get faxes on time.
这就是我不想要孩子的原因 This is the reason I didn't want to have kids.
我不是说你 扎克 I wasn't talking about you, Zach.
扎克 Hey, Zach.
扎克 扎克 Hey, Zach. Zach...
扎克里 Zachary!
与爸爸共事 野营 学骑自行车 我的第一场棒球赛 修滑板 冲浪
我毁了一座受人景仰的雕像 I defaced a venerated monument, literally.
烧掉了一个露营地 Burned down a campground.
我儿子基本上也要放弃我了 My son, for all intents and purposes, is giving up on me.
无论做什么 我总让他们失望 I'm failing them everywhere I look.
就说艾米莉 一会儿希望我是超级英雄 Emily, one minute she wants me to be a superhero,
一会儿又当狮子 过一会儿又变成国王 the next minute a lion, then a king.
那就当一回国王又如何 傻子 Then be a king, you idiot!
当超级英雄 当狮子 她想要什么你就当什么 Be a superhero, be a lion, be whatever she wants.
你还不明白吗 她是希望能有人保护她 Don't you get it? She just wants someone to protect her.
-就这么简单? -是啊 - That's it? - Yes.
你得回到他们的水平 像他们一样思考 You have to be on their level. Be like them.
你知道我5岁生日时 我爸给我什么礼物吗 You know what my dad gave me for my fifth birthday?
-是什么 -一个计算器 - What? - A calculator.
我不知道我是怎么回事 I don't know what it is about me
每次见到你有难 that sees you in a crisis
我总是飞奔过来解救你 and then comes galloping to your rescue.
我大概就是这种人 是吧 But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?
得有人帮你找到和孩子们沟通的办法 You need help connecting with these kids?
我来帮你想办法 I'm going to find you help.
吉米午餐盒 木偶戏大师
吉米 吉米 吉米 Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!
演的很棒 宝贝 Rocked it, baby.
女士们 还是那么漂亮 Ladies, beautiful as always.
-吉米·麦克 -查理 - Jimmy Mac! - Charlie!
-兄弟 -最近好吗 查理 气色不错啊 - Yeah, brother! - What's up? Charlie, look at you!
-这是我朋友丹 -你好 - Meet my friend, Dan. - Hey.
告诉我你感觉到了吗 哥们 Tell me you felt it. Did you feel it, man?
-是不是感到热血沸腾 -热血沸腾 - Was it electrifying? - Electrifying.
谢谢你 小姐 Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
就像巧克力牛奶灌进鼻子里的感觉 宝贝 Like chocolate milk coming through the nose, baby! Yeah!
大家注意 明天有两场演出 Two shows tomorrow, everybody.
找我有什么事吗 So what's going on?
-我想让你帮个忙 -需要什么 - I was gonna ask you a favor. - What you need?
记不记得上次在韦德的聚会上 Remember at Wade's party you were talking about
你谈到过一个人体木偶装置 做出来没有 a human puppeteer, this mechanism? You got that done?
是我私下悄悄跟你说的吗 When I was talking to you in confidence?
-是的 -这真是你的老毛病了 - Yeah. - You always had that problem.
这位老兄现在有麻烦 This man is in trouble.
他和自己的孩子沟通有问题 He has trouble relating to his own children.
-天啊 -他需要你的帮助 - Oh, my God. - He needs your help.
有了你的技术 这问题就能解决了 With your technology, we can fix this.
-过奖了 -真的 - Oh, thank you. - It's true.
那你们的意思是 要雇用我 So let me get this right. You want to hire me
把这位拘谨的老兄弄成一个人体木偶吗 to take this uptight man and make him a human puppet?
-是的 -包在我身上 - Yes. - I'm gonna do it for you.
-吉米 -大家加紧干活 - Aah, Jimmy. - Everybody, chop, chop! Whoo!
感觉好死了 I feel so doggone good here.
好了 可以开始了 All right. We're good to go.
你说你朋友不知道怎么演戏 Now, you told me that your friend didn't know how to play.
-是这样 -丹 现在你不用知道怎样表演了 - It's true. - Dan, now you don't have to.
-查理将替你演 -穿着这套衣服吗 - Charlie's going to play for you. - With this suit?
-是的 把这个塞到裤子里 -为什么 - Yes. Stick this down your pants. - Why?
这东西会产生振动 That thing will emit such a jolt
在里面挠你的痒痒肉 that it will literally tickle your funny bone.
这是杯好茶 This is a proper tea.
杯子 端起来 Cup. Bring it up.
翘起小指 Pinky.
太棒了 This is awesome.
方塔纳国王 我很欣赏儒雅的绅士 Oh, King Fontana, I do so admire a proper gentleman.
我也很欣赏儒雅的绅士 I admire proper gentlemen, too.
我非常非常欣赏他们 I admire them very, very much.
怎么搞的 What?
这茶不错 That was a good cup of tea.
是么 谢谢 Why, thank you.
身为公主 这茶是我特意为您冲泡的 As princess of the land, I have made it specially.
-是便便味的 -她好可爱 - It is poo-poo flavored. - She's cute.
-他没笑 让他笑 -瞧着 - He didn't laugh. Make him laugh. - Watch this, watch this.
笑吧 木偶 笑啊笑啊 Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh.
"董事会和我在一起 有些问题想问您" "Here with my board. Have questions."
酷 我也有滑板 Cool. I have my board, too.
多年来 "Nissan has been our marketing partner
尼桑都是我们在赛车领域的市场合作伙伴 in racing for many years."
尼桑很烂 "Nissan is poop."
严厉批评 Strong words.
你建议我们和尼桑中断合作 You suggest we sever ties?
赛车 很酷 Racecars. Cool.
但是机器人更酷 "...but robots are cooler."
他怎么会知道我们正主攻这个领域 How could he know we're exploring a major push in that field?
太无聊 我要走了 "This is boring. I'm leaving now."
-这个人胆子真大 -让他转圈 - Fearless, this one. - Spin him.
让他转圈 再转 Spin him. Spin him again.
-转太多了 -对 - Too much spin. - Yeah.
我没事 I'm ok.
我告诉过你兄弟别把电池弄湿 I told your boy not to get the battery pack wet.
现在他得靠自己了 He's on his own.
对不起 艾米莉 Sorry, Emily.
公主 Princess?
方塔纳国王 King Fontana?
游戏开始了 Game on.
随时为您效劳 我的女士 At your service, my lady.
你知道么多年后他们找回你时 You know when they found you after so many years
我的很多臣民心中都充满了恐惧 There were many in my kingdom who were trepidatious.
-这词真冷酷 -人们被吓坏了 - Really hard word. - Oh. People were scared.
即便是身为国王的我 你的国王 And even most regal I, your king,
也很害怕 was frightened.
-会害怕的国王 -我知道 人们会笑我 - A king who was scared? Ha! - I know. 'tis to laugh. Ha...
但是这是真的 But 'tis true.
这也是为什么国王的行为很讨厌 'tis the reason why a king may act like a toad.
但是从国王找到你的那一刻起 But the day your king found you,
他就发誓会永远保护你 He vowed to protect you forever.
即使他还不了解你 也才刚刚能和你交流 Even though he didn't know you, could barely speak your language,
而且肯定的 还有一丝害怕 And yes, was a little afraid...
他发誓会战胜一切 ...he vowed to vanquish any and all
会伤害到你的事和物 who would do you harm in any way.
你知道的 对吗 艾米莉 You know that. Right, Emily?
你知道我会永远在你身边 You know I'll always be there for you.
你是我的女儿 我永远爱你 You're my daughter, and I will love you forever.
-你哭了吗 -不 我没有 我没有哭 - Are you crying? - No, I'm not. I'm not crying.
吉米·麦克 你哭啦 Jimmy Mac, you crying?
行啦 吉米 Come on, Jimmy.
我是您卑微的仆人 夫人 Your humble servant, madam.
-好的 -别放手 爸爸 - Ok. - Don't let go, dad.
这让我想起了在广告时代上看到的一篇文章 This reminds me of an article I once read in Advertising Age,
谈到公司品牌资产的降低 Which talked about the fact that a loss in a firm's brand assets
与其市场价值的增长呈负相关 Is negatively correlated with increased market valuation.
我不明白你在说什么 爸爸 I don't know what you're talking about, dad.
我说的是 Let's talk about the fact that
你在自己骑自行车了 you're riding a two-wheeler on your own.
不用扶了 宝贝儿 不用了 No hands, baby! No hands!
我做到了 爸爸 我做到了 I'm doing it, dad! I'm doing it!
是啊 你做到了 Yeah! You're doing it.
打啊 Hit it!
菜死了 Rookies.
给你们 真棒极了 There you go. That was awesome.
嘿 快看 看啊 是我们 Hey, look! Look! That's us!
祖父节快乐
你们对我们公司资产基数的了解很了不起 We were most impressed by your knowledge of our assets base.
但最终 是你们关于机器人的想法 But ultimately, it was your robotics idea
最终赢得了我们的合作 That pushed us over the top.
-机器人 -微笑点头 - Robotics? - Smile and nod.
我们在NMG总部已经准备好进入下一步 We here, at NMG, are ready to go to the next step.
收拾好行李 克雷格桑 你要来东京了 Pack your bag, Craig-san. You're moving to Tokyo.
我工作那么努力 感觉自己被卖了 I've worked so hard! It's like I've just been traded!
-我们一会再翻译 -快过来 - We'll translate that later. - Come on over!
他真激动 He's very excited.
记住 周四早上 Remember, Thursday morning,
跟西村和他的董事会开电话会议 Conference call with Nishamura and the board.
你开个头 然后我们会深入 You set things up, and we'll take it from there.
明白了 周四电话会议 Got it. Conference call thursday,
给老板热场子 tee it up for the big guns.
我只是想说多谢 你们俩 I just want to say thanks, you guys.
没人像你们俩这样信任我 Nobody's ever really believed in me the way that you two have.
这对我真的很重要 你们俩就像 And it really means a lot to me. You guys are like...
你们就像我从没有过的两个爸爸 You're like the two dads that I never had.
我真的很感激 I really appreciate it.
我的两个父亲 我会让你们骄傲的 My two father figures. I'm going to do you proud.
-好吧 -去吧 - All right. - Go to.
千万别迟到了 You don't want to be late.
小心 日本 真正的生意人来了 Look out, Japan. Here comes some serious business.
愿上帝保佑 Oh, God help us.
太酷了 妈妈 爸爸教会我怎么骑自行车 It was so cool, Mom. Dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler,
而且我们还和纽约大都会队玩了下 And then we got to hang out with the New York Mets!
让我跟她说 而且爸爸许诺说 Let me talk to her. And dad promised that he'd
今年的生日会他会弄得很隆重 Do something huge for our birthday this year.
但是他现在要保密 But he won't even tell us what it is.
-让我跟他打个招呼 -好的 - Let me say hi to him. - Ok.
嘿 明天我去接你 没商量 Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow. No arguments.
明天早上 我有一个职业生涯中最重要的 Tomorrow morning, I have the biggest conference call
电话会议 但那之后我任你差遣 In my entire career, but after that I'm all yours.
太不可思议了 我迫于无奈把孩子给你带 It's amazing. I left the kids with you out of desperation,
但结果却如此出人意料 But now I can't imagine having done it differently.
我也是 Me too.
哦 天呐 该创纪录了 Oh, great. This is a record.
他拔掉了笔记本 手机 灯 闹钟 He unplugged a laptop, blackberry, lamp, an alarm cl...
-查理 -怎么了 - Charlie! - What?
-还问怎么了 -电话会议 - What?! - Conference call.
-我们快走 -不 不 不 - Let's go! - No, no, no.
-我的笔记 -没时间了 - My notes! - No time!
-3 2 1 -孩子们 快上车 - In three, two, one... - Kids! In the car!
等等我 好了 Just a second... good...
西村桑 Nishamura-san.
请接受我们对迟到的真诚歉意 Please accept our sincere apology for the delay.
我们相信我们的同事 克雷格 We trust our colleague, Craig,
已经开始了他的介绍 has already begun the presentation.
我恐怕你们的同事克雷格 I'm afraid your colleague, craig, has not been
抵达东京后就杳无音信了 Seen nor heard from since the moment he arrived.
真的 Really?
他是个小个子 He's just a little thing.
更像是个穿正装的小精灵 He looks more like a little leprechaun in a business suit.
-你们不会不认得他的 -红头发 - You can't miss him. - Red hair...
他到的第一晚从银座给我电话 He called me from the Ginza his first night,
我只听见 And all I heard was...
强烈动感的电子乐 还有 Techno music... and something about
卡拉OK的声音 the teachings of a Karaoke master.
丹桑 Dan-san.
我对您极其的尊敬 但是迟到一个小时 I have the utmost respect for you, but an hour delay
而且失踪一位代表不是合作开始的方式 And a missing executive is not the way to begin a relationship.
我们会尽一切所能来弥补 We will do anything to make it work out.
西村桑 我们会为您提供全年无休的服务 We are there for you, Nishamura-san, 24/7.
很好 这才是我想听到的 Good. That is what I hoped to hear.
那么 如果合作要继续 So, if we are to move forward
你和查理都必须来东京 You and Charlie are the ones who must move here to Tokyo
作为合作的联络人 And be our liaison.
这是我最后的也是唯一的提议 That is my final and only offer.
好吧 就这样吧 就这么做 马上 Ok... let's do this. Let's do this. Just do it.
谢谢 Thank you. Oh!
哦 自由 总算又闻到自由的气息了 Oh! Freedom. I can smell the air again.
-孩子怎么样 -都很好 - How are the kids? - Great.
-也许我们该走了 -好吧 - Maybe we should get going. - Ok.
我谨遵自己的座右铭 I just went with the motto,
别做时间的奴隶 让时间做你的奴隶 "Don't serve the time, let the time serve you."
事实上 丹 The truth is, Dan,
我总在考虑我们的事情 most of what I was reflecting on was us.
真的吗 Really?
而你也用和孩子的相处向我证明了自己 And the way you've proven yourself to me with the kids.
-上帝保佑你 -我们的孩子 - Bless you. - Our kids.
也许你两周前说的没错 Maybe you were right two weeks ago.
或者是我们重新开始的时候了 Maybe it is time to give us another try.
真的吗 Really?
时机 Timing.
-时机正好 -时机 - Timing's perfect. - Timing.
他们在哪 Where are they?
-宝贝们 -妈妈 - Oh, my babies. - Mom.
我太想你们了 Oh! I missed you so much.
好吧 我给你们做了些东西 All right. I made you guys something.
酷 Cool!
谢谢 妈妈 Thanks, mom.
别担心 查理 你也有份 Don't worry, Charlie. I didn't forget you.
我给你雕了个小肥皂兔 I carved you a little soap bunny.
查理 Oh, Charlie.
我要把这条从圣诞礼物清单上划掉了 I'll strike that right off my Christmas list.
嘿 这真是个贴心的礼物 太棒了 Hey, that's a thoughtful gift. That's wonderful.
我们得讨论点家事 We need to discuss something, though, as a family.
-我不打扰了 -好的 - I'll give you a moment. - Ok.
当你再次出现在我的生活时 When you reappeared in my life,
我和查理正在做一宗大买卖 Charlie and I were in the middle of a deal
是我们合作30年来最大的生意 That could be the culmination of our 30 years in this business.
但为拿下这笔生意 我必须搬去日本 But in order to close that deal... I have to move to Japan.
那我们生日怎么办 那个盛大的宴会呢 What about our birthday? The big party?
我可能赶不上了 I'm probably going to miss this one.
但我会努力工作而且每半年回来一次 But I'm going to try really hard and come back every six months.
所以下次应该赶得上 对吧 So I'll make the next one most likely, you know?
那你两周前说的呢 What about what you said two weeks ago?
你说的尽力让这个家完整 What about trying to make us work?
我说过 我真的想 但是 I meant that. I really did. But...
但是 爸爸 如果你去日本 But, daddy, if you move to Japan,
谁来保护这个王国 who will protect the kingdom?
我知道你想我成为个超级英雄 艾米莉 I know you wanted me to be a superhero, Emily.
你们都想我成为那样的人 You all wanted me to be one.
但我不是 我也希望我是 But I'm not. I wish I could be.
那样我就能每天从日本飞往返 I'd fly back and forth from Japan every day.
但我只是个做销售的 I'm just a guy in marketing.
我去帮孩子们打包行李 I'm going to go pack the kids.
对不起 孩子们 I'm sorry, you guys.
-你好 谢谢 -要我帮您拿包吗 - Hello. Thank you. - May I take your bag?
为何不把这生意看作我们的孩子 Why don't we think of this deal as our child.
我知道你因为离开而难过 I know you're upset about leaving,
但会好起来的 好吗 but we're going to fix it, Ok?
我们要找个比克雷格聪明的顶替他 We're going to find somebody to replace Craig who's smarter,
然后半年到一年 我们就回来 好吗 And in six months to a year, we're home. Ok?
-你真这么想 -现在我只想告诉你 - You think? - This time I just say to you,
拥抱它 人人都爱日本 "Embrace it. People love Japan."
-想要点吗 -不 - Want some? - No!
-什么 不 -不 不 是的 - What? No? - No. No. Ok.
事实上 我可能很像蝙蝠侠里的小丑 The truth is, I probably looked like the joker from batman.
但我很难过 为那些可怜伤心的人 But I felt bad. These poor, sad people.
不管怎样 我是第一个冒犯了吊唁团 Anyway, I'm the first guy to insult a bereavement group
却仍然赢得女孩的家伙 And still get the girl.
这就是美国佬的才智 That's Yankee ingenuity!
拜托 查理 再给我们展示下 Please, Charlie, show us that
你那个面瘫的笑容 facial paralysis smile one more time.
好吧 该你了 超级明星 All right, do your thing, superstar.
谢谢 Thank you.
美国体育市场危机四伏 The American sports market is a minefield,
而我今天要展示 And what I'd like to do today
如何穿过这个雷区 Is draw a map through that minefield so that...
好的 丹 开始吧 Ok, Dan. Let's get going.
我点错文件了 I accessed the wrong file.
一点技术问题 Um... A little technical...
-我用笔记介绍吧 -好吧 - I can do it from my notes. - Ok.
为孩子做事清单 带他们去棒球名人堂博物馆 为他们的生日真正来次大手笔
第一块市场划分是 The first market segment is, um...
继续啊 Let's go.
关于儿童体育用品的创意 The idea of sports to a kid...
丹 怎么了 Dan, what's going on?
你怎么能把会议搞砸 我全为你铺垫好了 How could you have tanked that meeting? The way I set you up,
就算你说我们雇用一群猴子 You could've told them we were hiring
他们也会照单全收 monkeys and they would have bought it!
这是我们的梦想 丹 That was our dream, Dan!
这本会让我们跻身体育营销名人堂的 That was going to put us in the hall of fame of sports marketing.
开车 Go!
记得我们的USFL账户吗 Remember that USFL account we got?
本来会爆满的 That would've been the one to tank!
-能请你闭嘴吗 -现在你倒是说话了 - Will you please shut up?! - Now you speak!
-你想揍我 来啊 -来啊 上啊 - You want a piece of me? Bring it! - Bring it! Come on!
好了 对不起 All right! Sorry.
这下该怎么办 白化佬 How's this going to work out, Snowball?
我不知道 晒黑男 你会没事的 I don't know, Man Tan. You'll be ok.
你会轻松愉快找到一份崭新的工作 You'll tap-dance your way into a
仍旧和个35岁的妞约会 brand-new job, still date 35-year-olds.
你永远长不大 你也不用长大 You never grew up. You never had to.
因为总是有我 You always had me.
-天呐 -座位真小 - God! - It is small enough!
-闭嘴 查理 -像沙丁鱼罐头 - Shut up, Charlie! - Made for a sardine.
我是个大男人 这是个小座位 I'm a big man. This is a little seat.
是的 你是大男人 Yeah, you're a big ma...
-别再试图改变我了 查理 -你知道我改变不了 - Stop trying to change me, Charlie. - You know I can't do that.
-我放弃了 -放弃听我的建议了吗 - Then I'm done. - Done with taking my advice?
深夜饶舌节目 Late-night rap sessions?
但不放弃在范尔滑雪场的分时享用度假屋 But not done with the time-share in Vail.
不 我放弃你了 No, I'm done with you.
欢迎乘坐飞往纽约的第九航班 Welcome aboard, Flight Nine to New York.
我们将一起度过这18小时的旅程 We got 18 hours of flight time ahead of us,
所以跟你身边的人聊聊天吧 So turn to the person next to you and get to know them.
这会是一个漫长的旅程 It's going to be a long ride.
你是哪里人 Where you from?
这旅途从头到尾都糟透了 The whole trip was a bust from start to finish.
阿曼达 我能过会儿打给你吗 Amanda, could I call you back?
我得去狗狗旅馆领回祥子 再打给你 I got to pick up Lucky from the dog hotel. I'll call you.
我的孩子在哪 我的宝贝儿在哪 Where's my boy? Where's my boy?
祥子 来啊 孩子 我的狗狗呢 Lucky, come here, boy. Where's my goo-go!
他哪去了 Where is he?
-哪去了他 -我们打过你的电话 - Where is he? - We tried to call.
喂 丹吗 我查理 Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie.
想告诉你声 Thought you'd like to know that
陪我共度了十四年后 after 14 wonderful, fulfilling years together,
我真正的挚友祥子去世了 my true best friend, Lucky, has passed.
也许我的生活不像你说的那么幸福 Maybe my life isn't as blessed as you paint it to be.
我就想知会你一声 葬礼在这周二 I thought you'd like to know that the funeral is this Tuesday
然后在我家开个小餐会 followed by a small, tasteful reception at my house.
来不来随你 I'm indifferent as to whether you come.
两位好 我是克雷格 Gentlemen, it's Craig,
我回纽约了 And I'm back in New York.
我知道我搞砸了 I know I messed up.
是我不对 我负全责 I take full responsibility for the mistakes that I made.
我不会求你们原谅 也不会再打来 I'm not going to beg, and I won't call again.
其实吧 我是早产儿 The truth is that I was a preemie.
早产了几周 I was several weeks premature,
据说缺氧 and there was talk of oxygen deprivation.
我不是找借口 可医生说 I'm not making excuses, but the doctor said...
傻瓜 Idiot.
有的人 认识得太久了 You know someone a bunch of years,
就很容易忘记只要认识他们一天 and it's easy to forget that you were fortunate enough
你都很幸运 to have known them for even one day.
祥子对于我就是这样 他是我朋友 And that was Lucky, to me. I mean, he was my friend.
更是我的亲人 He... well, even more important, he was my family.
可他临终时 我又在哪呢 And where was I when he was breathing his last breath?
在日本谈生意 In Japan, making a business deal.
告别前 有人愿意 Is there anyone who would like to say anything about Lucky
-为祥子致词吗 -我愿意 - before we say goodbye? - I would.
在过去的30年里 I've had the great pleasure of being the other old dog
做为查理的另一个老朋友 我很荣幸 in Charlie's life for the past 30 years.
和祥子一样 Like Lucky,
交了查理这朋友 I feel like a fortunate son of a gun
我觉得自己是个幸运的家伙 to have Charlie as a friend.
你太可爱了 You're so cute.
来 喝点凉水 Here. A nice bowl of cold water.
-哥们 你来了我真高兴 -彼此彼此 - I'm really glad you came, man. - Me too.
这对我意义重大 It's really important to me.
-有些话我说重了 -别 别道歉 - I've said some things... - Please, don't go there.
-我必须道歉 -为啥 - I have to. - Why?
你始终信任我 You've always had faith in me,
哪怕连我都不相信自己 even when I didn't have faith in myself.
你不只是我好友 你是我最好的好友 You're not just my best friend, you're the best kind of friend.
你忠实 高尚 You're loyal, honorable...
但是 看 我就知道要转折 But? See I knew there was a "but."
真煞风景 说吧 this is gonna sting like a mother. Go ahead.
除了跟你合伙做生意 Aside from going into business with you,
我这辈子就做对了两件事 I've only made two good decisions in my entire life.
一是娶了维姬 二是领回了孩子 Marrying Vicki and taking those kids.
这已经是我一辈子 And those are the two most impulsive things
最冲动的两件事了 I've done in my entire life,
纹身也挺冲动 besides the tattoo,
如果情况允许 我总有一天会忘记 which, god willing, I'll get over one day.
现在我觉得丹·瑞本式的冲动又要来了 I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn impulsivity about to happen.
查理 这很严重 我说的是境况彻底改变 Charlie, this is big. I'm talking about uprooting, change of scenery,
生意倒闭 这我们都料到了 the end of the business as we know it.
丹 生意我们会搞定 一向如此 Oh, Dan. We'll figure out the business. We always do.
是啊 可我得把老婆孩子找回来 Yeah, but... I have to get them back.
不行 绝对不行 Nah. Absolutely not.
是我们 把孩子领回来 We're gonna get 'em back.
-好啊 -好哥们 - Yeah. - Yeah, little man.
都让开 丹有要事在身 Out of the way. Dad on a mission.
我不会让你们后悔的 You guys aren't gonna regret this.
只要能平息你们的怒气 我赴汤蹈火 I'll do whatever it takes to get back into your good grace...
轻点踩油门行吗 爆脾气 You want to lighten up on the throttle, sparky?
前面就是去动物园的出口了 We got a zoo exit coming up here.
我绝不能错过生日聚会 I'm not gonna miss that birthday party.
三剑客重聚太棒了 It's just great to get the three amigos back together again.
你还在查看期 You're still on probation!
-不 不 可别锁门 -还开门吗 - No, no. That's not a lock. - You open?
抱歉 三点就不让进了 Nah. Sorry, the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors.
可我孩子在里面开生日会呢 But my kids are in there. They're having a birthday party,
我得去啊 我是孩他爸 And I have to be there because I'm dad.
没错 他可是超级老爸丹·瑞本 Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad.
你看看宾客表 R-a-y-b-u-r-n Check on your list. R-a-y-b-u-r-n.
超级老爸也迟到 瑞本对吧 Superdad is super late, all right? Rayburn? You know what?
过生日那俩小孩 You don't even have the same last name
根本就不姓瑞本 不能放你进 as the birthday kids. Can't do it.
-意思意思也不行吗 -贿赂我是吧 - How does three big ones sound? - A little money, huh?
三块钱也好意思出手 Don't you ever hand me three dollars again.
-拜托 放我们 -孩子不就在这吗 - Come on. You can let us... - You already have a kid there.
-算了算了 -我不能放行 - It's fine. It's fine - I can't let you in.
他心脏不好 只想见孩子一面 He's got a heart problem. He just wants to see his kids.
-不行 -真负责啊你 - You shall not pass. - You're great at your job, man!
查理 你要干什么 Charlie, what are you doing?
你看怎么办 查理 What are you thinking, Charlie?
丹兄 我要冒着留下犯罪记录的风险 Danny boy, I am going to get you into that party,
把你弄进去参加生日会 at great risk to my perfect legal record.
-从这钻进去吗 -没错 来 - Through here? - Oh, yeah. Here we go.
-这可是非法侵入 不行 -说对了 - That's breaking and entering. No, no. - Bingo!
-别 别 -等等 我来 - Don't do that. - Wait. Let me do it.
-为啥 -我来承担风险 - Why? - I'll take the risk.
行 上吧 Ok. Go ahead.
-加把劲 -没问题 - Come on. Come on. - I got it.
帮我一把 帮帮忙 I need some help. I need help.
-行了 -克雷格 进去 - Ok. - Go, Craig.
-我吗 好 -你开路 - Me? Ok. - Yeah, you first.
她叫什么 What's her name?
-成功啦 -进来了 - We made it. - We did it!
谁拦得住我丹·瑞本 Can't keep Dan Rayburn out.
信你准没错 查理 准没错 Never doubt you, Charlie. Never.
-伙计们 我们进来了 -好 往哪走 - We are in the zoo, guys. - All right, which way?
还有条沟 这养的什么啊 A moat. I wonder what lives here.
我们进了金刚园了 We're in the gorilla enclosure.
-啥 -站好 - What? - Stand still.
别乱动 千万别动 Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move.
-银背大猩猩 -站那别动 - Gorilla. Silverback gorilla. - Stay where you are.
别跟他对视 往别处看 Don't look at him in the eyes. Just look away.
你不看他 他就看不见你 回洞口去 If you don't see him, he doesn't see you. Back up to the tunnel.
对大型猿要富有攻击性 书上说的 You have to be aggressive with the larger apes. I've read about this.
-回洞口去 -不 不能退 - Back up to the tunnel. - No, no. No retreat.
-不能退 -后退就死定了 - Retreat. No, retreat. - You retreat, we are dead.
我们一露怯 他就会攻击 富有攻击性 He senses fear, he attacks. Be aggressive.
-拿吃的引它 -查理别激怒他 别 - Food! - Don't provoke it! Charlie, no!
查理 Charlie!
敌对行为无效 我们要么投降 Aggression not working. Maybe we should be submissive.
-要么跑吧 -各自逃命吧 - Or run! - Every man for himself!
跑啊 快跑 Run! Go!
快 丹兄 Come on, Danny boy.
活着逃出来了 We're alive!
看 企鹅 Penguins!
-我喜欢企鹅 -我也是 - I love penguins. - Me too.
-企鹅生气了 -你快跑 - Angry penguins! - Save yourself!
找你孩子去 Go to your kids!
查理 查理 Charlie! Charlie!
查理我爱你 I love you, Charlie!
救命啊 救命救命啊 Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.
都过来 要切蛋糕啦 Everybody, it's cake time.
-生日会往哪走 -在冒险岛上 - Birthday parties. Which way? - They're on Adventure Island.
但通道已经关了 没法过去 But the tunnel's closed. So there's no way to get there from here.
不行 我必须得去生日会 求你了 No, no. I got to get to that birthday party. Please.
好吧 Ok.
-你干什么呢 -小女孩过生日 - What are you doing? - Some little girl
想找个超级英雄飞去生日会 wants a superhero to fly into her birthday party.
-她妈妈叫我来 我就来了 -是吗 - Mom calls me, I show up. - Really?
要唱生日歌啦 We're going to sing Happy Birthday.
-这怎么用的 -就是起飞和降落嘛 - How does this work? - You go up, you come down.
-又不是火箭 -安全吗 - It's not rocket science, chief. - And it's safe?
这个嘛 当然 Aah... sure.
老爸来喽 生日会是哪个方位 Daddy's coming. Yeah! Which way is the party?
-西北面 -好嘞 - Northwest! - You got it!
飞吧 Go for it!
企鹅杀手 企鹅杀手 Killer penguins. Killer penguins!
-企鹅杀人啦 -查理 - Killer penguins! - Charlie!
丹 他飞那么高干嘛 Dan! What's he doing up there?
他要扮超人去女儿生日会 Ah, he wanted to be a superhero for his daughter's birthday.
-他知道自己干啥吗 -跟骑车一样 别担心 - He know what he's doing? - It's like a ride. Don't worry.
好样的丹兄 我给你加油鼓气 Go, Danny boy! I'm the wind beneath your wings!
谁拦得住我丹·瑞本 There's no stopping Dan Rayburn!
见没见过一矮子 这么高 Did you see a little man? He's about yea-big.
红头发 看着像个哈比人 He's got reddish hair. He looks like a hobbit.
放开我自己玩去吧 Just go to your happy place!
求你了放开我吧 Just go to a happy place!
一 二 三 One, two, three!
我飞起来啦 I can fly!
飞啦 太棒了 I can fly! Yes!
扎克 艾米莉 生日快乐 Happy birthday, Zach and Emily!
大家看 你们想看的超人来了 Look, guys, it's a superhero, just like you wanted.
我来啦孩子们 I'm coming, kids!
-天啊 是丹吗 -是爸爸 - Oh, my gosh! Dan? - It's dad!
-就是我 超级老爸 -爸爸 - It's me, fatherman! - Dad!
我就知道 I knew it.
没错孩子们 你们没看花眼 That's right, kids. Believe what you see!
-没油了 -小心啊 - Isn't enough fuel. - Be careful!
对不起 我想震撼出场来着 I'm so sorry. I just wanted to make an impact.
效果已经达到了 Mission accomplished.
没那么惨啦 我不疼 I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt.
不用去医院 I don't need to go to the hospital.
回家睡一觉就好了 I just need to go home and sleep it off.
-想回家吗 -是啊 - You want to go home? - Yeah.
这可是伯林顿 你没摔傻吧 You're in Burlington. You know that, right?
我知道 我在半英里外租了栋房子 I know that. I rented a house a half mile from here.
你搬来住了吗 You moved here?
我知道去日本抛下你 Look, I know I loused it up for us romantically
把这一切都搞砸了 when I chose Japan over you.
尤其是在南海岸发生的事情之后 And after what happened in South Beach,
这更不可原谅 that's pretty much unforgivable.
可当年还没孩子们呢 But these guys weren't around in South Beach.
不管时机是好是坏 我都爱他们 Good timing or bad timing, I love them.
我搬过来 不管他们来不来看我 I moved here so, whether they want to visit me or not,
起码我挨他们近了点 I could be closer to them.
孩子们 我不是超人 但这是好事 I'm not a superhero, kids. Maybe that's a good thing
因为超人都不回家 忙着打坏人 because, you know, superheroes are always off fighting crime.
而我只想陪着你们 And I just want to be with you guys...
永远陪着 如果你们愿意的话 ...forever, if you'll let me.
我愿意 Deal.
压着我氧气管啦 You're on my oxygen!
一年后 One Year Later
长话短说 他老婆孩子都回来了 Long story short, he gets the kids, he gets his wife.
西村打来电话说 And Nishamura calls and says,
家族企业 要由成家的男人来代表 "we want a family man to represent a family business."
爽快批了四千七百万的佣金 Boom, $47 million in fees later,
我们就坐上了我最好朋友的船去阿鲁巴岛 here we are on my best friend's boat going to Aruba.
这故事千真万确 真的 That is a true story. I mean, come on.
你带我们来很明智 Well, it's a good thing you brought us down here
公海里风大浪猛 because the High Seas are a dangerous mistress
带着孩子真挺危险 for these children.
等等 你们上我船来干嘛 Excuse me. What are you doing to my boat?
干嘛找安全小组来啊 Oh, the safety squad? Why?
这是我的孩子 亲生的 It's my kid, ok? The fruit of my loins.
你放松点好吗 And you just relax, ok?
船上做点安全措施 免得我小孩伤着 We're going to fix this boat so it's safe for her.
你孩子才三个月大 查理 Your baby's only three months old, Charlie!
尼克 Nick!
这不是牛排 This is not a Sizzler!
这两周你负责 All right, so two weeks.
公司别出岔子 等老板回来 Keep the office running smooth until the big guns get back.
-这我最在行了 -听好克雷格 - That'll be my sole scope of work. - Now, Craig,
不许K歌了 戒掉 No more karaoke. You are cut off.
在家也不行 你能做到 Not even in your own house. You can do it.
"找到" 我们会想你的 Go To! we're gonna miss you, Go To.
会叫我外号啦 You guys are using my nickname.
尼克 怎么了 Nick?
你会解谜吗 Listen. Are you good at puzzles?
晕船药都拿了吗 快来 Everybody take their seasickness pills? Come on, guys.
该告诉他们吗 Should we tell?
我应该记得哪是哪的 I think I remember where they go.
好 行李进舱了 All right, we got the bags stowed below.
晕船药也发了 Seasickness pills have been distributed.
来个旅行合影 Let's just get one bon voyage photo,
然后就开船 and then we're ready to shove off, folks.
好啦 大家来合影 All right, everyone get together for a picture.
多笑点 看起来是十分开心 Big smiles. Let's look real happy.
-拍吧克雷格 -明白吗 - Today, Craig. - Got it?
也许别开心得太过了 Maybe not quite so happy.