1 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:05,963 Ross kissed me. 2 00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,604 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 3 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,241 It was unbelievable! 4 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,538 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 5 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,113 Let's hear everything. 6 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,951 Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. 7 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,650 Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues? 8 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,147 It ended very well. 9 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:29,160 Do not start without me! Do not start without me! 10 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,990 Okay. All right. Let's hear about the kiss. 11 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,598 Was it a soft brush against your lips... 12 00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:38,497 ...or was it a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing? 13 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:43,068 Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then.... 14 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:46,643 Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it. 15 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:50,441 So was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back? 16 00:00:50,683 --> 00:00:54,141 No, actually, first they started out on my waist... 17 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,981 ...and then they slid up and were in my hair. 18 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:01,293 And... 19 00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:02,825 ...then I kissed her. 20 00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:03,859 Tongue? 21 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,859 -Yeah. -Cool. 22 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,493 The One With the List 23 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,306 All right, check out this bad boy! 24 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,881 Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive... 25 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,915 ... built-in spreadsheet capabilities... 26 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:04,954 ...and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS. 27 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,054 What will you use it for? 28 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,657 Games and stuff. 29 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:14,158 There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. 30 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,128 Oh, wait, here's one. 31 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:21,134 -Would you be willing to cook naked? -There's an ad for a naked chef? 32 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:26,074 No, but if you'll cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. 33 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,745 And then.... 34 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,611 So how'd you make out last night? 35 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,981 That is funny. That is painfully funny. 36 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:41,592 No, wait, wait. 37 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:44,125 Yeah, that's just painful. 38 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,458 Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. 39 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,531 Yeah, it was. But I get home... 40 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:52,930 ...and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table... 41 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,638 ...and I think, "My God! What am I doing?" 42 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,743 Here I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman... 43 00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:01,641 ...who I care about and who cares about me... 44 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,974 ...and I'm just throwing all that away? 45 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,610 You got all that from saline solution? 46 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:11,353 Wait. We're talking about Rachel. You and Rachel. 47 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:14,527 I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for 10 years. 48 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,456 But now I'm with Julie. 49 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,563 So it's like, me and Julie, me and Rachel. 50 00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,892 Me and Julie, me and Rach 51 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:23,695 Rachel! Rachel. 52 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:27,031 -Hey, you. -How are you? 53 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,739 Good. How are you? 54 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:29,997 Good. 55 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,878 -Hi, honey. -Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie? 56 00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:34,643 Julie! 57 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:37,513 How are you? 58 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,911 Good. 59 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,750 So everybody's here. 60 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,548 Everybody's good. 61 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,921 Were you gonna play something? 62 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,220 -Well, actually -Play it! 63 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,595 All right. 64 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,931 -Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses. -What? 65 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,740 Okay. Hi. 66 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,566 Hello. Hi. Okay. 67 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:09,339 This is a song about a love triangle... 68 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,573 ... between three people I made up. 69 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,117 It's called "Two of Them Kissed Last Night." 70 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:25,357 There was a girl We'll call her Betty 71 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,863 And a guy Let's call him Neil 72 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:33,436 Now I can't stress This point too strongly 73 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,870 This story isn't real 74 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:43,778 Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside 75 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,211 Will Betty be the one Who he loves truly 76 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,785 Or will it be the one Who we'll call Loolie 77 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,724 He must decide He must decide 78 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:59,329 Even though I made him up He must decide 79 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,503 Well, this is a nice resume. 80 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,073 Nice, nice, nice. 81 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,269 Muy impressivo. 82 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:15,513 Mr. Rastatter, what does this job entail? The ad wasn't clear. 83 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,181 Macholate. 84 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,282 -I'm sorry? -Macholate. 85 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,750 It's a synthetic chocolate substitute. 86 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,584 Go ahead, try a piece. 87 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,820 We think Macholate is even better than chocolate. 88 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,019 All right. 89 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,206 I love how it crumbles. 90 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,777 -You see, chocolate doesn't do that. -No, ma'am. 91 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,815 We should be getting our FDA approval any day now. 92 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,943 Hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. 93 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,622 The way we see it, chocolate dominates... 94 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:02,658 ...your major food-preparation holidays. Easter, Christmas, what have you. 95 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,954 But given the right marketing... 96 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,689 ...we can make Thanksgiving the Macholate holiday. 97 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,167 Wow. 98 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,035 Aren't you gonna swallow that? 99 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:16,174 Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. 100 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,809 Isn't that great? 101 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:21,643 Well, anyhow... 102 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,339 ...we're looking for chefs who can create Thanksgiving recipes. 103 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,813 You interested? 104 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:27,883 Abso-... 105 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,414 ... -lutely! 106 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,817 I love creating recipes, I love Thanksgiving, and now... 107 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,222 ... I love Macholate. 108 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,521 Really? 109 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,427 Especially that aftertaste. I tell you... 110 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,692 ...that'll last you till Christmas. 111 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:49,741 How about Macholate mousse? 112 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,403 It's not... 113 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,235 ...very Thanksgiving-y. 114 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,238 How about Pilgrim Macholate mousse? 115 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,410 What makes it Pilgrim? 116 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,582 We'll put buckles on it. 117 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,351 Did Ross call? 118 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,252 No, I'm sorry. 119 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,593 Why didn't he call? 120 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,621 He's gonna stay with Julie. 121 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,957 He's gonna stay with her and she'll be: 122 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,463 "Hi, I'm Julie. Ross picked me. 123 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,797 We'll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!" 124 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,137 No offense, but that sounds nothing like her. 125 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,073 What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare! 126 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:36,448 I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me! 127 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:41,055 They're both gorgeous, my wallet's too small for my 50s... 128 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,751 ...and my diamond shoes are too tight!" 129 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:48,759 -Here's a thought -Don't ever touch the computer. 130 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:52,967 Ross, listen. I got two words for you: 131 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,399 Threesome. 132 00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:01,108 Let's get logical about this. We'll make a list. 133 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,748 "Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons." 134 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,684 We'll put their names in different fonts... 135 00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:13,357 ...and I can use different colors for each column. 136 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:14,987 Can't we use a pen? 137 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,125 No, Amish boy. 138 00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:22,761 Let's start with the cons because they're more fun. 139 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:23,865 Rachel first. 140 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,031 I don't know. 141 00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:27,767 I mean.... 142 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:32,502 All right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes. 143 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,640 You could say that. 144 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,475 I guess, sometimes she's a little ditzy, you know? 145 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,788 And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. 146 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,516 And Julie and I have a lot in common... 147 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:49,659 ... because we're both paleontologists, right? 148 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,727 But Rachel's just a waitress. 149 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,363 Waitress. 150 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,891 Got it. You guys want to play Doom? 151 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,697 Or we could keep doing this. 152 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,669 What else? 153 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,641 I don't know. 154 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,171 Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby. 155 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,349 Okay, let's do Julie. 156 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:14,881 What's wrong with her? 157 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,525 She's not Rachel. 158 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,897 This is pumpkin pie with a Macholate crust. 159 00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:30,796 This is Macholate cranberry cake, and these are Macholate-chip cookies. 160 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,128 Just like the lndians served. 161 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:37,606 Oh, my God! 162 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:38,842 "Oh, my God" good? 163 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:42,672 Oh, my God! I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth. 164 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:47,411 Sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! 165 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,289 I tell you, it won't print. 166 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,191 I pressed that button, like, 100 times. 167 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,366 For a hotline, you're not so hot. 168 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,532 What is that in the background? 169 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,204 Are you watching Star Trek? 170 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,946 So did you break Julie's heart? 171 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,945 It was horrible. She cried, I cried. She threw things, they hit me. 172 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,019 I did the right thing. 173 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,853 So Spock actually hugs his father? 174 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,626 Hey, do you guys have 175 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:38,801 Where you going? 176 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:41,405 I just got back... 177 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,837 ...from Julie's. 178 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:47,536 No, no. 179 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,644 It's not what you think. 180 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,509 It's the other thing. 181 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,654 Well, what's the other thing? What do I think? 182 00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,090 Well.... 183 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,524 He broke up with Julie! 184 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,328 Well, go hug her, for God's sakes! 185 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:13,705 Really? 186 00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:14,838 Really. 187 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,841 It's always been you, Rach. 188 00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,738 Oh, God. 189 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,016 Oh, this is good. 190 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,284 -This is really good. -I know. I know. 191 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,085 It's almost.... 192 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,797 What do you say we take a walk? Just us. Not them. 193 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,599 -Let me get my coat. -Okay. No, hey! 194 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:51,909 I'll get your coat. 195 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:02,652 He's going to get my coat. He's going to get my coat, Joey! 196 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:07,051 Joey, I can't believe this! This is unbelievable! 197 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,727 -What's that? -What? Nothing! 198 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:15,264 -I saw my name. What is it? -No, no, see? See? 199 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,298 It's printing! 200 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,600 It's printing! 201 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:21,901 Let me see! 202 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,735 Hey, someone order a coat? 203 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:27,276 Chandler wrote something about me and won't let me see. 204 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,345 He won't? He won't! 205 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,909 Because isn't that... 206 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,245 ...the short story you were writing? 207 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,517 Yes, it is a short story... 208 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,019 ...that I was writing. 209 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,124 And I'm in it? Let me read it. 210 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:43,328 No! 211 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,429 -Come on! -Hey, why don't you read it to her? 212 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,772 All right. 213 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,021 "It was summer. 214 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,892 And it was hot. 215 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,554 Rachel was there. 216 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,060 A lonely gray couch. 217 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,237 'Oh, look!' cried Ned. 218 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,976 And the kingdom was his forever. The end!" 219 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,913 That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the world! 220 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,813 This isn't funny anymore. 221 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:46,047 There's something about me on that paper, and I want to see it. 222 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,383 No, you don't. 223 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:53,831 All right, fine. If you guys want to be children, that's fine. 224 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,660 I do not need to see it! 225 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,205 What is this? 226 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,873 That is.... 227 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,376 What is this? 228 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,241 -Thank you. -Good luck. 229 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:16,021 Okay. Just remember how crazy I am about you, okay? 230 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,379 "Kind of ditzy"? 231 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,755 "Too into her looks"? 232 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,115 "Spoiled"? 233 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:25,921 A little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little," the idiot! 234 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,264 "Just a waitress"? 235 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,298 Now that was.... 236 00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:34,865 I mean, as opposed to.... 237 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,707 Okay, is this over yet? Rach? 238 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,879 I do not have chubby ankles! 239 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,242 No! I 240 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,611 Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column. 241 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:49,954 "She's not Rachem"? 242 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,822 What the hell's a Rachem? 243 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,150 Is that a stupid paleontology word... 244 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,726 ... I wouldn't know, because I'm just a waitress? 245 00:14:58,297 --> 00:14:59,787 Rach, come on! 246 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,832 It's "She's not Rachel"! 247 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,934 She's not.... 248 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,278 My diary! Brilliant! 249 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:19,315 If I'd said it was my diary, she wouldn't have made me read it. 250 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:24,080 That's true. You'd be a great person to have around after an emergency. 251 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,956 I cannot believe Ross even made this list. 252 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,627 -I know. -What a dinkus! 253 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:35,027 Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea. 254 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,664 What? 255 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,360 Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up. 256 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,971 This was your idea? 257 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:46,644 Let's get some perspective here. These things happen for a reason. 258 00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:48,506 Yeah. You! 259 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:54,147 Pheebs, back me up. You believe in that karma crap, don't you? 260 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:58,220 By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. 261 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,064 Rach! 262 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,378 Hey! Open up! Please? 263 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:26,651 When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means, "Go away." 264 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,047 It doesn't mean, "Climb up the fire escape." 265 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,881 I just want to read you your "Pro List." 266 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:33,552 Not interested. 267 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,759 "Number one: the way you cry at game shows. 268 00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:42,758 Number two: how much you love your friends. 269 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,995 Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. 270 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:51,073 Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. 271 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,403 Number five: how great you are with Ben. 272 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,342 Number six: the way you smell." 273 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,677 What are you doing? 274 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,744 You want to open the window? 275 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:03,886 Oh, yeah. 276 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,956 -What are you doing out there? -I'm.... 277 00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,695 You must be freezing. You know what you need? 278 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:14,023 How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Macholate? 279 00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,363 Come on, open up. 280 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,641 Rach, come on. You gotta give me another chance. 281 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:24,873 No. 282 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:28,037 -No? -That's what I said. 283 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,305 Maybe we should go. 284 00:17:29,581 --> 00:17:31,640 You don't have to go. We're done. 285 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,408 I know how you must 286 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,314 No! You don't, Ross. 287 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:39,822 Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. 288 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:44,290 How would you feel if the person you trusted most in the world... 289 00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:46,157 ... not only thinks them too... 290 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:50,334 ... but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. 291 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:55,006 No, but see, I want to be with you in spite of all those things. 292 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,502 Well, that's mighty big of you. 293 00:17:58,811 --> 00:17:59,641 I said, don't go! 294 00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:04,744 You know what? 295 00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:09,751 If it were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list... 296 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,650 ...that would make me not want to be with you. 297 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:16,588 Well, then I guess that's the difference between us. 298 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,263 See, I'd never make a list. 299 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:39,508 I never know how long to wait in this situation before you can talk. 300 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,018 Maybe a little longer. 301 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,687 In these recipes, the quantities may seem unusual. 302 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,956 Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars? 303 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,261 I've indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of nuts... 304 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,564 ...and only one tablespoon of Macholate. 305 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,502 Doesn't matter. 306 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,878 Our FDA approval didn't come through. 307 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,014 Something about laboratory rats. 308 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,208 Gosh, I'm sorry. 309 00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:14,248 Yeah. 310 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,851 Anyhow, here's your check. 311 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,523 Thank you for all the trouble you went through. 312 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:25,020 Listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? 313 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,697 Well, I ate some. 314 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,662 Oh, some is fine. Some is not a lot. 315 00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:34,005 So it doesn't burn when you pee, does it? 316 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,221 Is that him again? 317 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,188 Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down. 318 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,958 I don't think this is the best time. 319 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:05,101 Look, can you do something for me? 320 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,701 Sure. What? 321 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:11,698 All right. 322 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,372 Music? 323 00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:17,980 Sure. 324 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,159 The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. 325 00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,260 Rachel, he wants you to know he's sorry for what he did... 326 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:34,260 ...and he hopes you can forgive him. 327 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:39,069 See the stones set in your eyes 328 00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:43,332 See the thorn twist in your side 329 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,506 I'll wait for you 330 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,951 Sleight of hand and twist of fate 331 00:20:56,588 --> 00:21:01,252 On a bed of nails she makes me wait 332 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:05,860 And I'll wait without you 333 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:10,999 We've just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. 334 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,205 It's pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you're listening... 335 00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:17,135 ...I don't want to play your song anymore. 336 00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,714 Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? 337 00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:28,418 Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car... 338 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,850 ...and she hopes you two will work it out. 339 00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:34,215 There's a room where 340 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:37,860 I can go 341 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:42,624 And tell my secrets to 342 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:46,360 In my room 343 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,969 In my room 344 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,924 Thanks for coming in again. 345 00:22:07,192 --> 00:22:09,922 Not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash. 346 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:12,326 It's like I'm looking in a mirror. 347 00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:16,660 Anyway, they're called Fish-tachios. 348 00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:20,364 They taste exactly like pistachios... 349 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:23,564 ... but they're made of reconstituted fish bits. 350 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,668 Here, try one. 351 00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:28,907 -All right. -You're not allergic to anything? 352 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:30,578 Cat hair. 353 00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:32,215 Oh, sorry.