厄尔 能把这20块找开吗 Earl, can you break some 20's?
二号桌的"大款"们 The big spenders at table two
三人行还硬要分摊11块的账单 wanna split their $11 check three ways,
不基本上就一个人在吃而已嘛 even though one person did all the eating.
我也跟别人"三人行"过 情况如出一辙 I was in a three-way once. Same thing happened.
麦克斯 十号桌买单 Max, table ten would like the check.
别忘了收顾客意见表 And don't forget to pick up customer comment card.
顾客就是上帝呀 Customers very important.
财源滚滚 全靠粉丝 It's all about the fans.
粉丝意见 关我屁事 Yeah, I'm not a fan of hearing what people have to say.
比方说 你现在跟我废话... For instance, what's happening right now...
我完全不"粉" Not a fan.
麦克斯 顾客意见表是非常重要的商业工具 Max, feedback from customers is very important business tool.
或许该让我们的毒舌服务生改改态度了 Perhaps we'll pump the brakes on sour waitress attitude.
唯一能改变我"态度"的工具呢 There's only one tool that can change my 'tude,
需要用到两颗电池 but I'm gonna need two double-a batteries.
和二十分钟休息时间[电动棒] And a 20-minute break.
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第一季 第十二集 姐妹花 打工 第一季 第十二集 姐妹花 打工
姐妹花 第十二集 第一季 打工 姐妹花 第十二集 第一季
第一季 第十二集 姐妹花
翻译 夸人被打赛太公
校对 打人被夸YY猫 翻译 夸人被打赛太公 翻译 夸人被打赛太公
校对 打人被夸YY猫 校对 打人被夸YY猫 翻译 夸人被打赛太公 翻译 夸人被打赛太公
后期 鱼骨头 校对 打人被夸YY猫 校对 打人被夸YY猫 翻译 夸人被打赛太公 翻译 夸人被打赛太公
后期 鱼骨头 后期 鱼骨头 校对 打人被夸YY猫 校对 打人被夸YY猫 翻译 夸人被打赛太公 翻译 夸人被打赛太公
时间轴 总监 打人被夸YY猫 时间轴 总监 打人被夸YY猫 后期 鱼骨头 后期 鱼骨头 校对 打人被夸YY猫 校对 打人被夸YY猫 翻译 夸人被打赛太公 翻译 夸人被打赛太公
校对 打人被夸YY猫 后期 鱼骨头 时间轴 总监 打人被夸YY猫
欢迎各位 Welcome, everyone.
感谢出席这场非常重要的 Thanks for coming to very important,
餐馆首次正式会议 first official diner meeting.
真是不厚道 半夜两点后是厄尔的私人时间 This ain't right, man. 2:00 A.M. starts Earl time.
厄尔 你的白兰地酒 Earl, here's your brandy.
很好 我没意见了 Okay, we're good now.
早知道下班后要开这种破会议 If I knew we were gonna have staff meetings after work,
我就去矫情的星期五餐厅干活了 I would've taken job at T.G.I. Friday's instead.
他们那 干活又快速 上床又迅速 Over there, they roll fast and loose.
在我这 就得这样 Well, this is how I roll.
您哪样啊 又矮又呆吗 Yeah, short and slow.
不 我是速度与激情 还是东京漂移版的呢 No, I roll Fast and Furious. Tokyo drift style.
憨 我的注意力也开始"漂移"了 说重点吧 Han, I'm starting to drift. Can we get to the point?
我跟麦克斯还得回家烤明天的小蛋糕呢 Max and I still have to get home and bake cupcakes for tomorrow.
我们收到了来自顾客的许多宝贵意见 We received so many excellent comments from customers tonight.
好了 第一个意见 Okay, first comment.
-"深色头发的服务生" -我哟 - "Dark-haired waitress..." - Hey! 好了 第一个意见 Okay, first comment.
-"深色头发的服务生" -我哟 - "Dark-haired waitress..." - Hey!
"非常没礼貌" "was very rude."
我哟 Hey!
麦克斯 这是顾客对餐馆的真实看法 Max, customers are giving their honest opinions about diner.
我们得严肃对待 We need to take it seriously.
"我想跟金发服务生床战三百回合" "I'd like to ride the blonde waitress like a tilt-a-whirl."
是我哟 Shout out!
下一个意见 Next comment.
"为什么收银员戴着耳机啊 "Why does cashier wear earphones?
害我以为他是DJ" I thought he was a DJ."
好样的 厄尔 好样的 厄尔 Go, Earl, go, Earl ?
完胜 Holla!
下一条 Moving on.
"烘肉卷吃起来既不新鲜又干瘪瘪" "This meatloaf tastes stale and dry."
干得好 奥列格 干得好 奥列格 Yeah, Oleg yeah, Oleg.
人家还建议 厨师喷点腋下除臭剂 It also says that cook could wear deodorant.
穿点有袖的衣服挡挡臭味 and shirt that covers armpit.
人家真写上意见表了吗 This is on card?
对 Yes.
你撒谎 You are lying.
对... Yes.
跟憨搭档做间谍 死得更快哟 Remind me never to be a spy with Han.
所以你就这么对我提意见吗 So this is how you tell me what you think of me?
拿这种过时的意见卡当挡箭牌 You hide behind outdated method of feedback?
不然是要推特发张 我这么捏鼻子的图吗 What, I should've posted twit pic of my face like this?
我也会回敬你一张我烘"鸡"卷的美照 Maybe I will send you a twit pic of my meatloaf.
你们俩白痴[推特]可以之后再吵吗 Can you twits pick another time to do this?
我得回家了 I've gotta go home.
我也得回家... I have to go home too...
回家把所有衣服的袖子都剪掉 And cut the remaining sleeves off of all my shirts.
然后再去买新衣服 And then go buy more shirts.
再把所有的袖子通通剪掉 And cut the sleeves off those shirts.
你必须穿有袖的衣服上班 You must wear sleeves.
老子爱穿啥穿啥 Do not tell me what to do.
老子刚来这上班的时候 I was working here when you were still
你还在你爹的蛋蛋里游着呢 a dumpling on your father's chopstick.
现在有厄尔时间的感觉了 Now this is starting to sound like Earl time.
-点着了吗 -没有 - Did it light? - No.
再试一次 瓦斯还开着呢 Try another one. The gas is on.
为什么要对烤箱丢火柴啊 Why are we throwing fire at an oven?
这是穷人的娱乐游戏吗 Is this a poor people game?
是啊 这叫"烤箱打火器坏掉 Yeah, it's called light the broken pilot light
瞎点怕会毁容的悲催游戏" without blowing our faces off!
太蠢了吧 害人家小心肝怦怦跳 This is ridiculous. My heart is pounding.
现在才知道 烤小蛋糕也是种极限运动 I didn't know baking cupcakes was an extreme sport.
《致命捕捞》探索频道纪录片连续剧 记录阿拉斯加帝王蟹季 捕捞渔船面临的大量危机 就好比《致命烘培》 It's like the Deadliest Batch.
《致命捕捞》探索频道纪录片连续剧 记录阿拉斯加帝王蟹季 捕捞渔船面临的大量危机
看到没 吸入少量外泄瓦斯 See? A slight hint of gas in the air.
会让你觉得什么事都好笑 makes everything funnier.
现在外泄太多了 Now there's too much gas.
如果现在丢火柴 If we threw a math in there now,
估计我的鼻子或眉毛就完蛋了 I'd be out a nose or a pair of eyebrows.
我不要回归"无眉"的日子 And I'm not living through that again.
回归 Again?
我小时候 When I was a little girl,
试图烤过一次冷冻晚餐包 I was trying to make a Hungry Man dinner.
结果点火太快 火光一闪 And I lit the pilot light too soon and whoosh!
眉毛没了 No eyebrows.
不得不用油性笔画眉毛 Had to draw them on in magic marker.
结果只有粗眉的墨西哥女孩愿意跟我说话 Only Mexican girls would talk to me.
麦克斯 我们有生意要做 Max, we have a cupcake business.
必须让房东给我们换个新烤箱 We have to tell the landlord we need a new oven.
我们不能跟房东要个新烤箱 We can't ask the landlord for a new oven.
不然他会问"你是谁" Then he'll ask us stuff like "who are you?
"你的名字怎么没在租约上 "why is your name not on the lease,
该交的房租呢" and where's the rent?"
好吧 我出钱买 Well, I'll buy us one.
是吗 你要给咱们买个新烤箱 Really? You're gonna buy us a whole oven?
我穷的连丢失一只的那双袜子 We're so poor I have a sock
都能称它为"好的那双"呢 that I refer to as my good sock.
我藏了点私货以备不时之需 I've been saving something for an emergency,
比如急性盲肠炎 或首次约会的除毛费 Like a burst appendix or a first date bikini wax.
我就知道 I knew it!
你老爸的亿万家财肯定被你私藏了不少 You have a secret stash of your father's missing billions.
我们发达啦 We're rich!
等等 那都是别人的血汗钱 Wait, it's other people's money.
不过又不是我偷的 发达啦 Yeah, but I didn't steal it. We're rich!
这些是我的名贵戒指 They're my expensive rings.
如果这些才是你的名贵戒指 So if these are your expensive rings,
那你平常戴的是啥 What's all that other stuff you wear?
便宜复制品 Cheaper copies.
才不会把名贵戒指戴出门呢 You never wear the good stuff out in public.
懂了 就像是高档潮牌留家中 Got it, kind of like hiding the Banana republic,
平民潮牌穿出门 and wearing the Gap.
看 多别致啊 See how special?
每个都是独一无二的 They're all one-of-a-kind from
托马斯·亚里斯多德·托马斯戒指 Thomas Aristotle Thomas.
简称托托戒 T.A.T. TAT.
什么 What?
托托戒啊 你没听说过托托戒吗 Tat rings. You've never heard of TAT rings?
哇 托托戒 没听过 Oh! TAT rings. No.
我想这东西 I guess it's the kind of thing
应该只有懂行的人才懂 懂吗 that only people in the know know, you know?
不懂 No.
随你怎么笑话 Make all the jokes you want,
不过 我只要卖掉其中一个 but I only have to sell one of these,
就够钱给我们买新烤箱了 and I can get us a new oven.
要什么款式 有想法吗 Any ideas what kind we should get?
当然有 又不是只有你才藏有私货 Uh, yeah, you're not the only one with a secret stash.
这款叫蓝色之星 It's the Bluestar.
是烤箱界的托托戒啦 It's the TAT rings of ovens.
还是紫色的 In purple!
没错 我就是说紫色的 That's right, I said purple.
这是烤箱界的肌肉猛车 绝对霸气啊 It's the muscle car of ovens. It's bad-ass!
霸气到我去唱卡啦OK时 It's so bad-ass when I do karaoke
我把歌词"紫雨"都改成了"紫款"了 I change the lyrics from purple rain to purple range.
很好 那就买这个吧 Great, we'll get this one.
买不起 太贵了 Uh, we can't buy that. It's too expensive.
这种梦幻烤箱只能意淫一下 This is just something you fantasize about.
就像厨具黄片 It's kitchen porn.
好吧 Fine.
明天咱们就去当铺当戒指 Tomorrow we'll go to the Cash for Gold store.
然后买个普通烤箱回家开烤烤哟 and get a regular oven and get cookin'.
瓦斯散光了 害我冷场 I think the funny gas is gone.
时机已到 重赴沙场 Must be time. I'm going in.
让我来吧 我的眉毛也该修了 Let me do it, my eyebrows need to waxed anyway.
快点 瓦斯开着呢 丢火柴进去啊 Hurry up! The gas is on! Throw the match in!
-点着了吗 -你成功点着了我的脚 - Did it light? - No, but my foot is on fire.
我来吧 I'll do it.
-你眉毛还在 -你眉毛还在 - You're good. - You're good.
抱歉 我们还需要等多久 I'm sorry, but how much longer do we have to wait,
才能典当换现呢 to get cash for our gold?
不是跟你说了我在讲电话嘛 I told you before I'm on the phone.
坐下 闭嘴 有礼貌点 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude.
公车站广告牌上的她 看起来友善多了 I thought she'd be nicer from her picture on the bus stop bench.
是啊 广告上她眼里的金钱符号去哪了 Yeah, and where are the dollar signs in her eyes?
我看看 该卖哪个戒指呢 Let me see, which ring should I sell?
我大腿上放着好多回忆啊 So much history in my lap.
我都懒得提我大腿上的"回忆"了 I don't even wanna tell you about the history in my lap.
这个是我老爸在伦敦买给我的 My father got me this one in London.
这是在巴黎买的 是为了奖励自己 I got this one in Paris to reward myself
没有在飞往巴黎时遇到乱流而吓哭 for not crying during the turbulence on the flight to Paris.
我妈有次开车误撞了我 只给我瓶汽水做补偿 My mom got me a Fresca when she hit me with her car once.
这个是我18岁的时候得到的 I got this one when I was 18.
-是我最早的托托戒 -够了 别说了 - It was my very first tat. - Okay, stop!
这是个馊主意 我们快走吧 This was a bad idea. Let's get out of here.
我都说了 我在讲电话 I told you before. I'm on the phone!
坐下 闭嘴 有礼貌点 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude.
我坐下完全是因为 I'm only sitting down because look.
她手正握着柜台底下的枪呢 She has her hand on a gun that's strapped under the counter.
她巴不得立刻毙了我们 She is dying to plug us.
麦克斯 你干嘛这么说 Max, what are you talking about?
为什么这是馊主意呢 Why is this a bad idea?
我不想牺牲你的宝贝戒指 佛罗多[魔戒人物] I don't want you sacrificing your precious rings, Frodo.
万一哪天生意失败了 Because if the business doesn't work out,
我就得为你失去的回忆负责 It'll be my fault you have nothing.
就当我自私吧 And call me selfish,
我唯一想毁掉的人生 是我自己的 the only life I wanna ruin is my own.
麦克斯 做生意本来就有起有落 Max, the business will go up and down.
那没有什么 That's natural.
但这个戒指代表的 不只是生意上的 But this ring is about more than the day to day of the business.
还代表着我们 我们共同的未来 It's about us... and our future together.
你刚是在跟我求婚吗 Yo, did you just ask me to marry you?
你可以再损一点啊 You could do worse.
现在 女士们 金子 交出来 Now, ladies, gold. Now.
没事的 只是一个戒指而已 Come on. It's only one ring.
无论何事 我都想与你做出长远的打算 And when it comes to us, I'm in this for the long haul.
或直到她毙了我们的那一刻吧 Or until this lady shoots us.
-你好 我是来... -快点 别废话 - Hi, I'm here to... - Come on! Let's go.
别老催我 我戒烟口香糖吃完了 Don't push me I'm out of nicorette.
很好 您只谈生意是吧 Well, you're all business, aren't you?
我尊重您这点 I can respect that.
我想拿个托托戒换点钱 I'd like to exchange a TAT ring.
没听过什么托托戒 I've never heard of a TAT ring.
托马斯·亚里斯多德·托马斯 Thomas Aristotle Thomas?
世界知名设计师啊 World-famous designer?
继续鄙视我啊 我肯定给你个"好"价钱 Yeah, talk down to me. That'll make the price better.
好吧 我秤个重 All right, I'll weight it.
什么味道啊 What's that smell?
有人在后面煮汤吗 Is someone making soup in the back?
少管闲事 None of your business.
我可以给你275块 I will give you $275.
这戒指价值2500块呢 It's worth $2,500.
哪里啊 猴年马月的价了吧 Where? In 2005?
你根本就是在占人便宜 You're just taking advantage of people,
靠着经济不景气来打劫我们 because the world economy is crashing.
我们是当铺 不是平胸妞救济所 It's called Cash for Gold, not sympathy for flat chicks.
到此为止 我受够了 You know what? This is inappropriate.
我要求看你们的营业许可证 All right, I'd like to see your business license.
没准我会打个电话给商会检举你们 Maybe I'll make a call to the Chamber of Commerce.
-是吗 悍妹子 -蹲下 她要掏枪了 - Oh, you will, huh? - Duck! Here comes the gun!
那我也向后面的人检举你们好了 Maybe I'll make a call to my boys in the back.
萨尔 理查 Sal! Richard!
你们好啊 Oh, hello.
咱们快跑吧 Let's get out of here.
真的吗 我还蛮想跟理查"大战"的 Are you sure? Because I'm kinda feeling Richard.
麦克斯 我刚去厕所时 Max, I was just in the ladies' room,
突然冒出个想法 and I had a thought.
为什么要在写着 Why am I doing my lipstick
"卡洛斯去死"的镜子前画口红吗 in a mirror that says "Die Carlos""
我想到怎么拿回戒指全价的方法了 I know how to get the full value of the ring.
我们只需要拿回去原店 We just have to take it to the store where they sell it,
退款就行了 and return it.
你怎么没一开始就想到呢 Uh, and why didn't that occur to you before?
因为我没留收据 'Cause I don't have the receipt.
而且我是三年前买的 And I bought it three years ago...
在别的国家... 别家店 from another store... in another country.
顾客说火鸡总会三明治要去边 The customer asked for crust off of a turkey club.
是顾客说的 还是你说 Did they say that or is this something you say
是顾客说的 that they said?
是顾客说的 They said it.
但要我说的话 But I say I see
有人还穿着"老板去死"的无袖衫呢 "screw the boss" sleeveless tee.
来人啊 快打电话给奇人异事博物馆 I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's.
这有只会说话的小老鼠 There is a small mouse speaking.
馆里还有腋下超臭男呢 And I bet for sure it comes with stinky armpits.
想闻"香"一下吗 料理鼠王 Why don't you see for yourself, Ratatouille?
我先闪了 要开打了 I've gotta go. Fight's starting.
你臭爆了 You are stinky.
臭到我远在韩国的老妈都打给我问 So stinky my mother in Korea called me and said,
"那是什么臭味儿啊" "What is that smell?"
你居然不喜欢男人味 I am surprised you're upset by man smell.
大多数像你这样的娘们都爱死了 Most women like you enjoy it.
麦克斯 我下20块赌憨赢 Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on Han.
他 爱吵又好斗 He's scrappy.
你的英语烂爆了 Your English is terrible.
我的英语再烂也比你的烂英语强 My English is less terrible than your terrible English.
啥 我听不懂你说啥呢 What? I couldn't understand a word you said.
啥 真抱歉我也听不懂你说啥 What? So sorry I couldn't understand a word you said.
抱歉 正常大小的人们 Excuse me, regular-sized people.
除非他道歉 否则老子坚决不开工 I am on break until he apologizes.
本回合结束 I think the round's over.
我听不懂他俩说的"英语" I couldn't understand a word they said.
该道歉的人是他 我可是老板 He needs to apologize. I'm the boss.
你别把他的话放在心上 憨 Don't let him get to you, Han.
女人都知道 不在"大小" 只在技巧 Every woman knows size doesn't matter.
我喜欢你这衣服 I like your shirt.
我失去童贞的那台货车上有这喷漆 Reminds me of the side of the van I lost my virginity in.
那"小"人侮辱我 That little man disrespect me.
他侮辱我的食物 我的英语 我的卫"牲" He insult my food, my English, my "hyjane."
我能做什么让你开心起来吗 Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
给我个拥抱吧 A hug would help.
如果我抱你 你会乖乖开工吗 If I hug you, will you go back to work?
会 Yes.
两秒抱抱 我来也 Two-second hug. I'm going in.
你怎么办到的 你双手都没离开过我的后背 How did you do that? Your hands never left my back.
我是解拉链界的刘谦 I am like David Blaine of zippers.
我只是想让你开心起来 I was trying to cheer you up.
我是开心"起"来了呀 You did.
回到这里的感觉好不真实呀 Wow, it's so surreal being back here.
我在这长大 这就是我的成长营地 I grew up here. It was like camp for me.
我在这学到了谁是最好的设计师 I learned who all the best designers were,
怎么配色 怎么骑自行车 how to color coordinate, how to ride a bike.
他们还让你在这骑自行车啊 They let you ride a bike here?
骚妹 这里可是我地盘呢 Bitch, I owned this piece.
这柜子里要是没大蜥蜴 If there's not an iguana in here,
这地方就烂爆了 this place is stupid.
天啊 Oh, my God.
这些托托戒好美啊 They are such gorgeous TAT rings.
-谢谢 -真讨厌你 好嫉妒啊 - Thanks! - Hate you! So jealous!
-谢谢 -再见啦 - Thanks! - Bye!
看你在你的自然栖息地真让人不舒服 Seeing you in your natural habitat is truly disturbing.
你好 有何能为您效劳吗 Hi! Can I help you?
你好 我想要退回收到的托托戒礼物 Hi! I'd like to return a ring I got as a present here.
托托戒真是太迷人了 TAT rings are so amazing.
真不敢相信你居然想退掉 I can't believe you want to return it.
这是我的前男友送的 Well, this one's from a guy I'm no longer with,
看到它就会勾起伤心往事 So it's painful to even look at.
我明白 I understand.
可如果没收据 我们不能退款 But I couldn't take it back without a receipt.
其实是因为 他过去老打她 The thing is he used to hit her.
麦克斯 你不是吧 Max! You did not!
卡洛琳 这又不是你的错 Caroline, it's not your fault.
太坏了吧 That's awful.
我明白你为什么会想退掉 I understand why you wouldn't want this ring.
我尽量帮帮你吧 I'm sure there's something I can do.
被打的确不是我们的错 不 你的错 It's not our fault. I mean...Your fault.
卡洛琳·钱宁 Caroline Channing?
杰佛瑞 Jeffrey!
看到我在这工作 惊讶吧 Surprised to see me working here?
因为去年的"烟屁股事件" Well, I got fired from that other store
我被另一家店炒鱿鱼了 whose name I will never mention again,
他们的名字我不想再提 after last year's cigarette butt incident.
真的很对不起 I'm so sorry.
我不知道那些薄荷女烟屁股是你丢的 I had no idea those menthol slim 100s were yours.
我当时只觉得店门口有这么多烟屁股 I just thought so many butts on the ground
很不雅观 就随口说了一下 outside the store was gross, so I said something.
是啊 卡洛琳·钱宁公主的随口一说 Well, that one comment from the great Caroline Channing.
就害我的屁股因为烟屁股给踹出门了 about those butts fired my little butt.
你害我被炒鱿鱼后 我就戒烟了 You'd be happy to know that I quite smoking
你很开心吧 因为我买不起烟了 after you got me fired. Couldn't afford it.
我也供不起我的健身房会员了 I also couldn't afford my gym membership,
所以我被人踹出去的翘臀变成肥臀 which is why my fired little butt got massive,
结果没人约我 连去同志大游行都是独身前往 why no one wanted to date me, and why I spent gay pride alone.
幸好 我最终在这里找到了工作 Fortunately, I wound up working here.
是啊 守得云开见月明 你的屁股也紧实了 Yeah, it all worked out. Your butt looks tight.
没以前的一半呢 It's halfway there.
我查到了戒指的价钱了 So I got the price on the ring.
你要买戒指吗 买托托戒啊 You're buying a ring? A TAT ring?
事实上 我是来退货的 Actually, I'm returning.
我能看一下收据吗 Oh, can I see the receipt?
作为珠宝首饰部门的经理 As manager of the jewelry department,
我不能不看收据 就让你退一个 I couldn't possibly return a ring that you bought.
起码买了三年的戒指 at least three years ago without a receipt.
你也不想害我再次被炒鱿鱼 对吧 You wouldn't want me to lose my job again, would you?
我来处理 多娜 I got this, Donna.
对于你爸爸锒铛入狱 以及你身无分文 And so sorry to hear about your father being a criminal,
这类的惨事呢 我深感遗憾 and you being penniless and all that ugliness.
这也算是因果循环吧 But it is kinda karma.
我重新攻顶俯视跌落谷底的你 You are where you are now, and I'm back on top.
杰佛瑞 虽然是初次见面 Look, Jeffrey, I know we just met,
但你想"攻"顶是不可能的事 but there's no way you're a top.
我们现在该怎么办呢 Now what are we gonna do?
应该去找刚才嫉妒你的那个做作女 We should hunt down that super fake jealous lady who hates you.
说不定她会愿意买 Maybe she'll buy one.
麦克斯 妙计啊 Max, that's brilliant.
愿意买托托戒的人 If anybody's gonna buy a TAT ring,
早就都在这店里了 they're already in the store.
我们可以举办个快闪拍卖 We can have a pop-up sale!
快闪拍卖是什么 A pop-up sale?
你不知道什么是快闪拍卖吗 You don't know what a pop-up sale is?
你还不知道什么是打火器呢 You didn't know what a pilot light was.
是一种新潮流 It's the new trend.
小店快闪出现 捞一笔 Mini stores pop up and sell stuff,
然后走人 then they're gone.
这算什么新潮流啊 That's not a new trend.
八百年前毒贩子就这么干了 Drug dealers have been doing that for years.
一 二 三 四 五 One, two, three, four, five.
你干嘛呢 自闭小天才 What are you doing, beautiful mind?
我在脑海里算着店里的摄像头的位置 I'm mentally scanning the layout of the store for security cameras.
小时候来这耍 不去公园玩果然有好处 I knew coming here and not going to parks as a child would pay off.
好吧 只有一个地方可行 Okay, there's only one place we could pull it off
-那里没有摄像头 -哪里 - where there are no cameras. - Where?
卫生间里有快闪拍卖哦 Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
没错 女士 That's right, ma'am!
我说的正是卫生间里有快闪拍卖 I said pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
我临阵发挥无能 I don't do improv.
戒指成功卖掉了吗 So did we sell the ring yet?
刚那些女人不是我们的目标客户 Those women weren't our target customers.
我们要的客户群是很明确的 We're looking for a very specific type.
外表浮夸 钱包鼓鼓 Too much style and money to burn.
别关电梯门 小宝贝 Hold the elevator! Honey!
我爱死纽约了 and I love New York!
卫生间有快闪拍卖哦 Pop-up sale in the ladies' room.
我一次会带两个人进去看货 I'll take you in two at a time,
让我先跟我助手确认一下 let me go check with my associate.
然后就回来带安丁和露布鲁巴进去 And I'll be right back for Adin and Lublubah.
记忆力不错 Such a good memory.
如此美丽的名字 过耳难忘 Hard to forget such beautiful names.
准备好了吗 Ready?
二号间里有人在拉屎 We have a pooper in stall two.
谁出门逛街还拉屎啊 有没有搞错 Who shops and plops? I mean, really.
真的 我闻到火柴味了 Trust me, I smell the match.
经典逛街拉屎除臭妙招 Classic shop and plop cover-up.
刚贩卖机买来的巧克力棒呢 Where are the two Kit Kats we got from the vending machine?
跟你说了我很饿 I told you I was hungry.
阿拉伯女人购物习惯收赠品 Arabic women expect a gift when they buy something.
或许能借二号间的蜡烛一用 Well, stall number two will probably supply a little present.
你也是来参加快闪拍卖的吗 Hi, are you here for the pop-up sale?
-不是 我是来尿尿的 -我的老天啊 - No, I just have to pee. - Oh, geez.
快去吧 别浪费我时间 Come on, don't waste my time!
一号间空着呢 要上快上 我们要做生意呢 One stall's open... in and out! Running a business!
那女人插队 That woman pushed ahead of us.
千万别把戒指卖给她 Do not sell her my TAT ring.
真有意思 你是来取货 It's fun. You're here to pick up.
她是来"泄"货 She's here to drop off.
开店咯 Open the shop.
我们是黄金搭档啊 We're a good team.
你负责下套 我负责"宰"人 You set 'em up, I knock 'em down.
-怎么会这样... -我也不知道 就是那样 - Why is...? - I don't know, it just is.
你们是来参加快闪拍卖的吗 Are you here for the pop-up sale?
在厕所搞快闪拍卖 A pop-sale in the bathroom?
-太逊了 -超逊的 - So lame. - So lame.
-卡洛琳 -珍 罗宾 - Caroline? - Jen, Robin!
-天啊 -我的天啊 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
-天啊 -我的老天爷哟 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God.
抱歉 快闪拍卖什么时候开始 Excuse me. When will pop-up sale start?
我们三点在四季酒店预约了午餐 We have lunch reservations for five at Four Seasons at 3:00.
你怎么会问我呢 Why are you asking me?
不是你俩在搞快闪拍卖吗 You two are doing pop-up sale, no?
不是 No.
我跟这个厕所快闪拍卖一点关系都没有 I have nothing to do with this pop-up sale in the bathroom.
-太逊了 -超逊的 - So lame. - So lame.
逊爆了 So lame!
是很逊啊 So lame.
跟我们一起共进午餐吧 Come to lunch with us.
我吃过了 Oh, I've already eaten.
我们请客 Our treat.
你拒绝也没用 We are not taking no for an answer.
她们不让我拒绝 They're not taking no for an answer.
把戒指都卖了吧 Sell the ring.
她去哪里 你俩不是搭档吗 Where is she going? I thought you two were a team.
显然不是 Apparently not.
太对不起了 So sorry.
沙拉太美味 我走不掉 I got caught up in a hostage nicoise situation.
卖的怎么样 How'd it go?
戒指有全价出售吗 Did you get full price for the ring?
哎哟 您认识我吗 Oh, do you know me?
我清楚记得你跟我是陌生人呢 Because I could've sworn you didn't know me.
我的新朋友安丁和露布鲁巴 My new friends Adin and Lablueballs
都纳闷你怎么突然抛下我走了 thought it was weird that you just bailed on me.
麦克斯 我一时慌了神嘛 Max, I panicked in the moment.
我不想她们到处宣传 I didn't want those girls telling everyone
说卡洛琳·钱宁在厕所里变卖首饰 that Caroline Channing was in a bathroom selling her jewelry.
我才刚从我爸的丑闻中慢慢振作起来 I'm barely back on my feet after the whole scandal.
再被人说 我就要受不住了 I just couldn't bare it.
给 Here.
我没卖掉戒指 因为一开始我就不相信 I didn't sell them because I didn't buy the whole
"你想和我一起做长远打算"的屁话 "in it for the long haul" thing from the beginning.
我就知道 And I was right
路遥知马力 日久见人心 because I'm always right about people in the long haul.
麦克斯 我在跟你说话呢 Max, I'm talking to you.
不必 咱俩没啥可说的 It's cool. We don't need to talk.
麦克斯 戒指的事情是我对不起你 Max, about the rings, I'm sorry.
我不知道该说什么了 I don't know what else to say.
你什么都不必说 You don't need to say anything.
有关我们的未来之类的话 你说得够多了 You already said a lot of words about the future and us,
我还言犹在耳 你一句"我的老天啊" and then next thing I know, you were "oh, my god!"
就丢下我 跟朋友吃饭去了 off to lunch with your friends.
麦克斯 我真的想跟你做长远的打算 Max, I am in this for the long haul.
我要怎么说你才能相信我啊 Isn't there anything I can say to convince you of that?
不用说 无所谓了 Nope. And it's fine.
跟你无关 是我的问题 It's not you, it's me.
怪我自己居然相信我们会有未来 I'm the idiot who actually believed for a minute that we had a future.
没事的 But it's ok,
像现在这样走一步算一步就好 we'll just keep getting by like we are, for the short haul.
好吗 Cool?
麦克斯 Max.
-什么味道 -我在做小蛋糕 - What's that smell? - I'm making cupcakes.
-你点着烤箱了 -不需要 你看 - You lit the pilot light? - Didn't have to. Look.
不是吧 紫色的蓝色之星 No way! The Bluestar in purple?
我靠... 它怎么会 What the... how did it get...
怎么会... 你怎么买得起的啊 How can... how could you afford that?
-你把戒指卖掉了 -全卖掉了 - You sold your TAT? - Sold them all.
拿来买了烤箱 请人隔天送货到府以及安装 Spent it on the oven, next-day delivery fee and installation.
当铺的女人舍得给你好点价钱吗 That woman gave you a better price?
没有 她还拿枪威胁我了 No, she pulled a gun on me.
所以我走遍布鲁克林的当铺 So I went to every gold store in Brooklyn,
比较了它们的开价后 leveraged their offers against each other
终于凑够了钱买蓝色之星 until I got enough to buy the Bluestar.
你不需要这么做 You didn't have to do that.
在我做了那样的事情之后 多说无益 After what I did, there were no more words.
只有烤箱能代表我的心 Only ovens.
我们的未来比过去的那些戒指更重要 And our future means more to me than rings from my past.
我说了 我要跟你做长远的打算 I told you, I'm in this for the long haul.
顺带一提 我讨厌死跟那俩女的吃饭了 For the record, I hated lunch with those girls.
我宁愿跟你在卫生间里分吃巧克力棒 I'd rather split a Kit Kat in a bathroom with you any day.
抱歉 我没在听 I'm sorry I wasn't listening.
我刚盯着我的新男友走神了 I was staring at my new boyfriend over there.
我要跟他亲热 I wanna make out with it!
好烫 Ooh. Ow! Hot!
不是真会"叮"一声吧 There's not a ding!
的确会"叮" 我的戒指买了个"叮" There's a ding. My rings bought a ding.
你想拥抱我 对吧 You wanna hug me, don't you?
是啦 Yeah.
-可你不会来抱 -我会 - But you're not gonna. - Yes, I am.
你要敢拉开老娘拉链 我打死你 If you unzip my shirt, I'm gonna be pissed!
先夸你 再打你 Impressed, but pissed.
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