0
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,520
uh 
呃

1
00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:12,210
congratulations on the promotion
祝贺你升职

2
00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:12,408
 eric
艾瑞克

3
00:00:12,408 --> 00:00:17,952
 you've really earned it after all the hard work you've been doing with the company over the last few years
在过去的几年里，你在公司里辛辛苦苦地工作，这是你应得的

4
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:18,942
 thank you so much
非常感谢

5
00:00:18,942 --> 00:00:19,140
 sir
先生

6
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:20,130
 it's really an honor 
我真的很荣幸

7
00:00:20,410 --> 00:00:24,819
you've got to be kidding me after all the overtime i've been putting in
你一定是在跟我开玩笑吧，我已经加班了

8
00:00:24,819 --> 00:00:26,362
 this is how you reward me
这就是你回报我的方式

9
00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:29,670
 i'm the one who did all the leg work on that hughes pc deal 
我就是那个为休斯个人电脑交易做足功夫的人

10
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:30,611
i'm sorry
对不起

11
00:00:30,611 --> 00:00:33,478
 marcus was a tough decision between you two
马库斯是你们两个之间的艰难抉择

12
00:00:33,478 --> 00:00:35,684
 i've been here since before the i
我从我来之前就在这里了

13
00:00:35,684 --> 00:00:35,904
p
P

14
00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:36,125
o
O

15
00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,110
 do you know how long i've been waiting for this 
你知道我等这一天等了多久吗

16
00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:39,163
to be honest
老实说

17
00:00:39,163 --> 00:00:44,000
 i decided in favor of eric because you have a history of outbursts and a short temper 
我决定支持埃里克，因为你有暴躁和暴躁的历史

18
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,060
i trust eric to keep his cool
我相信埃里克会保持冷静的

19
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,172
 intense situations
紧张的情况

20
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,620
 whereas i can't say the same about you 
但我不能对你说同样的话

21
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:50,895
he's got a point
他说得有道理

22
00:00:50,895 --> 00:00:57,070
 maybe you should take a breath before you say something you'll regret like you did in that conference call last month 
也许你应该先喘口气，然后再说一些你会后悔的话，就像上个月在电话会议上所做的那样

23
00:00:57,430 --> 00:01:00,296
this can't be happening sort of a fucking bitch
这不可能发生在他妈的婊子身上

24
00:01:00,296 --> 00:01:02,140
 i can't believe this horse shit 
我真不敢相信这马屎

25
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:03,682
anyway
不管怎样，

26
00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:05,138
 congrats again
再次祝贺你

27
00:01:05,138 --> 00:01:05,430
 eric 
艾瑞克

28
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:10,970
that new corner office is all yours and you'll have your own secretary come monday morning 
那间新的角落办公室是你的了，你自己的秘书会在星期一早上来

29
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:13,132
this is an amazing opportunity
这是一个绝佳的机会

30
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:13,341
 sir
先生

31
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:17,524
 i'll be working harder than ever to prove that i'm the right man for the job
我将比以往任何时候都更加努力地工作，以证明我是这份工作的合适人选

32
00:01:17,524 --> 00:01:20,243
 i've never had a personal secretary before
我以前从来没有过私人秘书

33
00:01:20,243 --> 00:01:22,962
 do you know who shall be that'll be up to h
你知道将由谁来决定吗？

34
00:01:22,962 --> 00:01:23,171
r
R

35
00:01:23,171 --> 00:01:26,936
 to work out in the meantime you go relax and enjoy your long weekend
在锻炼的同时，你去放松，享受你的长周末

36
00:01:26,936 --> 00:01:32,164
 hopefully you'll be nice and refreshed on monday morning when you start your new position
希望你在周一早上开始你的新工作时会表现得很好，精神焕发

37
00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:32,373
 oh
噢

38
00:01:32,373 --> 00:01:32,792
 i will
这就做

39
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:33,001
 sir
先生

40
00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:37,184
 i'll be taking my wife out to the best restaurant in the city to celebrate
我要带我的妻子去城里最好的餐厅庆祝

41
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,230
 thank you so much 
非常感谢

42
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:47,673
where the hell is she we agree to meet at six p
我们约好晚上6点见面，她去哪儿了？

43
00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:47,940
m sharp 
M夏普

44
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,624
sop your remark
别说你的话了

45
00:01:51,624 --> 00:01:52,130
 right 
正确的

46
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:53,334
there you are
原来你在这儿啊

47
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:57,860
 and i thought we agreed not to use any names you never know who could be listening 
我以为我们说好了不用任何名字，你永远不知道谁会监听

48
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:58,387
oh
噢

49
00:01:58,387 --> 00:01:59,693
 don't be so uptight
别那么紧张

50
00:01:59,693 --> 00:02:01,870
 there isn't a soul within thirty 
三十岁以内没有一个人

51
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:04,806
so did you bring what i requested
你带来我要的东西了吗？

52
00:02:04,806 --> 00:02:05,603
 of course
当然了

53
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,134
 however
然而，

54
00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:09,321
 i told you the rules online money first
我跟你说过了，先在网上赚钱

55
00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:10,650
 then you get the goods 
然后你就能拿到货

56
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:17,260
count it every last dollars there 
在那里清点每一块钱

57
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:19,341
no
不是

58
00:02:19,341 --> 00:02:21,514
 naturally i already read your mind
当然，我已经读懂了你的心思

59
00:02:21,514 --> 00:02:25,620
 so i know you weren't lying here is your freshly crafted trinket 
所以我知道你没有撒谎，这是你刚做好的小玩意儿

60
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:28,657
it's better be worth it
最好是值得的

61
00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:32,335
 i had to take out a second mortgage on my house to afford this deal
为了买得起这笔交易，我不得不为我的房子申请第二笔抵押贷款。

62
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:35,830
 how am i supposed to be sure this little thing is going to work 
我怎么能确定这个小玩意儿会成功呢？

63
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:40,441
i followed all of your very specific instructions down to the letter
我严格遵守了你所有的具体指示

64
00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:41,063
 trust me
请相信我

65
00:02:41,063 --> 00:02:44,800
 you will get everything you wished for out of the spell and then some 
你会从咒语中得到你想要的一切，然后

66
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:48,075
remember
记住

67
00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:53,000
 your target will need direct skin contact with the trinket in order for the spell to activate 
你的目标需要与饰品直接接触皮肤才能激活咒语。

68
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,360
and don't touch it yourself unless you want your own wish to backfire on you 
不要自己碰它，除非你想让自己的愿望适得其反

69
00:02:58,510 --> 00:02:59,230
huh 
哈

70
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:00,132
oh
噢

71
00:03:00,132 --> 00:03:03,380
 i can't wait to see what happens to eric on monday 
我迫不及待地想看看埃里克周一会发生什么

72
00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:18,320
wow
哇

73
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,944
 this office is perfect
这间办公室太完美了

74
00:03:19,944 --> 00:03:20,215
 oh
噢

75
00:03:20,215 --> 00:03:22,380
 it's even better than the pictures 
它甚至比照片还要好

76
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:24,601
healthy rays
健康射线

77
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:25,776
 stock options
股票期权

78
00:03:25,776 --> 00:03:26,951
 a huge pension
一大笔退休金

79
00:03:26,951 --> 00:03:30,770
 my own secretary and beautiful corner office 
我自己的秘书和漂亮的角落办公室

80
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:33,730
life is good 
生活是美好的

81
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:36,780
all that hard work is finally paid off 
所有的辛勤工作终于得到了回报

82
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,030
someone get me a present 
谁给我买个礼物

83
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,490
mark got me a gift 
马克给我买了一件礼物

84
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:55,020
i expected he'd sooner spit in my coffee than be a gracious sore loser for once 
我以为他宁可往我的咖啡里吐口水，也不愿意当一次大方的失败者

85
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,240
what is this thing
这是什么东西？

86
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,280
 some sort of carving out 
某种形式的开拓

87
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:02,470
is that me 
那是我吗？

88
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,935
the hell was that how did that thing
见鬼了，那玩意儿怎么会

89
00:04:04,935 --> 00:04:05,561
 shock me
吓我一跳

90
00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,020
 is that is it electrified 
是不是带电了？

91
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:10,125
wait
等

92
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:13,670
 why does the room suddenly seem so much bigger 
为什么房间突然变得这么大？

93
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:19,349
oh
噢

94
00:04:19,349 --> 00:04:20,606
 oh my god
我的天啊

95
00:04:20,606 --> 00:04:23,120
 am i growing breasts 
我是在长乳房吗

96
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,240
i'm turning into a woman 
我正在变成一个女人

97
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,190
oh god
哦，天哪

98
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:30,460
 please make this stop who or what is doing this to me 
请阻止是谁或什么东西对我做了这些

99
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,556
look at my reflection
看着我的倒影

100
00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:34,920
 i'm a blonde now 
我现在是金发女郎了

101
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,520
help 
帮助

102
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,710
cute looking one at that 
看起来像个可爱的人

103
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:46,230
the 
这个

104
00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:50,796
oh
噢

105
00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:53,190
 my breasts are growing even bigger 
我的胸部变得更大了

106
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:55,967
is it not enough for me to turn into a woman
我变成一个女人还不够吗？

107
00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:58,850
 why do i have to have the body of a slutty porn star too 
为什么我也要有淫荡的色情明星的身体

108
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:01,890
oh
噢

109
00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:05,110
 i can feel my tank top and underwear changing too 
我也能感觉到我的背心和内裤在变

110
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:05,858
wait
等

111
00:05:05,858 --> 00:05:08,450
 my clothes can transform as well 
我的衣服也可以变形

112
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:11,680
yeah 
嗯

113
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:12,886
no
不是

114
00:05:12,886 --> 00:05:13,132
 no
不是

115
00:05:13,132 --> 00:05:13,379
 no
不是

116
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:13,625
 no
不是

117
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:13,872
 no
不是

118
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:16,090
 not that anything but that stop it 
不是说什么，而是阻止它

119
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:18,650
yeah 
嗯

120
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,620
the 
这个

121
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:24,355
that's it
就这样

122
00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:25,597
 i've got to get help
我得去找人帮忙

123
00:05:25,597 --> 00:05:26,840
 i need someone to 
我需要有人帮我

124
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,640
what the hell my shoes suddenly turn in the heels 
见鬼我的鞋子突然在鞋跟里翻了个底朝天

125
00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:38,490
a little statue i touched it must be what's doing this to me
我摸到的一座小雕像肯定就是它对我造成的影响

126
00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:39,160
 but why would 
但为什么会

127
00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,180
mark senate 
马克·参议院

128
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:43,430
is he responsible for this 
他对此负有责任吗？

129
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:46,686
ah good morning
啊，早上好。

130
00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:49,080
 you must be my new secretary 
你一定是我的新秘书吧

131
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:50,361
mark
马克

132
00:05:50,361 --> 00:05:53,070
 you son of a bitch 
你这个狗娘养的东西

133
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,557
is something wrong
出什么事了吗？

134
00:05:54,557 --> 00:05:54,950
 my dear
亲爱的

135
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,913
 you look like you're having a rough
你看起来好像过得很艰难

136
00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:57,110
 more 
更多

137
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,286
you're the one who did this to me
你就是那个把我弄成这样的人

138
00:06:00,286 --> 00:06:01,118
 aren't you
不是你吗

139
00:06:01,118 --> 00:06:04,723
 i opened your gift and then this happened to me
我打开了你的礼物，然后这一切发生在我身上

140
00:06:04,723 --> 00:06:07,220
 i'd watch your tone if i were you 
如果我是你，我会注意你的语气

141
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,240
that's no way to treat your new book 
这不是对待你的新书的方式

142
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,056
boss
老板

143
00:06:11,056 --> 00:06:15,700
 you're not my boss and i'm not your secretary 
你不是我的老板，我也不是你的秘书

144
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,930
are you so sure enough 
你就这么确定吗？

145
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,773
that trinket not only transformed your appearance
那个小玩意儿不仅改变了你的外表

146
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,330
 it changed your entire 
它改变了你的整个

147
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,602
the eric you were no longer exists
你曾经的埃里克已经不存在了

148
00:06:28,602 --> 00:06:30,470
 now there's only eric 
现在只剩下埃里克了

149
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:34,950
that's bullshit and totally impossible 
那是胡扯，完全不可能

150
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:35,476
oh
噢

151
00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:39,180
 and you turning into a woman is perfectly reasonable 
你变成一个女人是完全合理的

152
00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,580
you have a point 
你说得有道理

153
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,783
what about my family and friends
那我的家人和朋友呢？

154
00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:46,280
 they should know who i am 
他们应该知道我是谁

155
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,690
your parents will see you as their daughter 
你的父母会把你当成他们的女儿

156
00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:50,590
your wife
你的妻子

157
00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:53,070
 i suppose is your new bff 
我想这是你的新男友吧

158
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:53,794
however
然而，

159
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:55,867
 as far as the company is concerned
就公司而言，

160
00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:58,770
 i'm the only one who received a promotion last week 
我是上周唯一一个升职的人

161
00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:01,900
this is now my office 
这现在是我的办公室

162
00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,760
and you are nothing but my secretary 
你不过是我的秘书

163
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,160
that's my life
这就是我的生活

164
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,825
 you son of a bitch
你这个狗娘养的东西

165
00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:12,820
 change me back right now or i'll tell everyone what you did to me 
马上把我变回来，否则我会告诉所有人你对我做了什么

166
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,830
and how do you think that will go 
你认为这将如何进行？

167
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,169
everyone now knows u
现在每个人都知道你了

168
00:07:18,169 --> 00:07:18,754
s
%s

169
00:07:18,754 --> 00:07:19,047
 erica
埃里卡

170
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:19,340
 the woman 
那个女人

171
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,987
if you go spouting nonsense like that
如果你像那样胡说八道

172
00:07:21,987 --> 00:07:23,430
 people will think you crazy 
人们会认为你疯了

173
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:28,096
if you ever want an opportunity to change back to normal
如果你想要一个恢复正常的机会

174
00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:30,470
 you'll keep that pretty now that you shut 
既然你闭上了嘴，你就能保持漂亮了

175
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:33,390
and you'll do everything i tell you 
我让你做什么你就做什么

176
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,222
mark
马克

177
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,431
 there you are
原来你在这儿啊

178
00:07:37,431 --> 00:07:41,360
 i hope you're enjoying your new corner office 
我希望你喜欢你的新角落办公室

179
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,741
it's absolutely marvellous
这真是太棒了

180
00:07:43,741 --> 00:07:44,007
 sir
先生

181
00:07:44,007 --> 00:07:47,464
 i couldn't be happier about my promotion
我对自己的升职感到非常高兴

182
00:07:47,464 --> 00:07:50,390
 you must be the new hire that'll work for mark 
你一定是会为马克工作的新员工

183
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,823
i believe your name is erica
我相信你的名字是艾丽卡

184
00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:53,850
 is that correct 
对吗？

185
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:56,321
yes
是

186
00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:56,772
 sir
先生

187
00:07:56,772 --> 00:07:59,930
 i'm mark's new secretary 
我是马克的新秘书

188
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:01,275
oh
噢

189
00:08:01,275 --> 00:08:03,211
 i'm sure you'll love working with them
我相信你会喜欢和他们一起工作的

190
00:08:03,211 --> 00:08:04,286
 such a great name
这么伟大的名字

191
00:08:04,286 --> 00:08:04,501
 oh
噢

192
00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:05,362
 and remember
记住

193
00:08:05,362 --> 00:08:05,577
 mark
马克

194
00:08:05,577 --> 00:08:09,879
 we've got a brunch with the board of directors of nine thirty champ
我们要和九点半冠军的董事会共进早午餐

195
00:08:09,879 --> 00:08:10,094
 yes
是

196
00:08:10,094 --> 00:08:10,309
 sir
先生

197
00:08:10,309 --> 00:08:11,170
 i'll see you there 
我会在那里等你

198
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:13,980
yeah 
嗯

199
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:22,764
oh
噢

200
00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:23,009
 yeah
嗯

201
00:08:23,009 --> 00:08:27,410
 there's still one more part of my wish that this trinket has to fulfill 
我的愿望还有一个部分，那就是这个小玩意儿要实现

202
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,080
oh my god 
我的天啊

203
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,880
how long do i have to live like this before you'll change me back 
我要这样活多久你才能把我变回来

204
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:43,443
oh
噢

205
00:08:43,443 --> 00:08:46,243
 i was thinking several years at minimum
我想至少要几年

206
00:08:46,243 --> 00:08:48,110
 maybe longer with bad behavior 
如果有不良行为，时间可能会更长

207
00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:50,660
however 
然而，

208
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:51,930
i could be 
我可能是

209
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:56,680
persuaded to change you back soon as you go beyond the call of duty 
被说服在你超出职责范围后尽快把你变回来

210
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,130
what do you mean 
你什么意思

211
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:07,990
i didn't give you a figure like that just for eye candy 
我给你这样的数字不是为了吸引眼球

212
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,190
if you ever want to be eric 
如果你想成为埃里克

213
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,980
you'll be putting that body to 
你会把那具身体

214
00:09:13,350 --> 00:09:16,580
use as my new source of office stressful 
用作我新的办公室压力源