莱莉在吗？ Is Riley here?
红色警报！ Red alert!
男生，男生，男生，男生，男生 Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy.
我们家里来了个男生 There's a boy in my house.
我知道她准备去滑雪，可我想应该是跟她朋友一道 I knew she was going skating, but I thought it was with her friends.
我们家里怎么会进来个男生？ Why is there a boy in my house?
这不是约会吧，对吗？我来问问莱莉 This isn't a date, is it? I'll ask Riley.
我真不想这样 I don't like this.
这不可能是约会！她才12岁！ This can't be a date! She's only 12!
我们试探试探，不过要用孩子们的时髦话掩饰一下 Let's probe, but layer it with cool words the kids say,
别让意图那么明显 so it's not obvious.
我说，乔丹找你啥事？ So, what's the dealio with Jordan?
哦老天，他真是酷得掉渣 O-M-G, he is awesome-sauce fo sheezy.
她刚才说“掉渣”？ Did she just say "fo sheezy"?
我有点不明白，发生什么了？ I don't understand. What's happening?
这太尴尬了，我退出，我退出 This is just embarrassing. I can't. I can't.
你好！ Holla!
我知道你来这想干嘛，乔丹 I know what you're doing here, Jordan.
你认为我不懂你的意思，可我懂，你这个小混混！ You don't think that I know what you know, but I know, you little punk!
他根本配不上莱莉，没人配得上她！ He's not good enough for Riley. No one is!
滚回监狱去！ Go back to jail!
乔丹，你在找什么？能偷走的东西？ What are you looking for, Jordan? Something to steal?
- 比如我们的女儿 - 我们是不是该说两句？ - Like our daughter. - Should we say something?
不，不，不，他就等这个呢 No, no, no. He'll be expecting that.
就给他个闷不吭声，他快崩溃了，我能感觉到 Give him the silent treatment. He's about to crack, I can feel it.
哇，老兄！真酷！ Whoa, dude! Awesome!
老大，没反应 Sir, no response.
两个人就足够玩玩心理游戏了，乔丹，威慑！ Two can play at your mind games, Jordan. Intimidate!
老兄，他在看什么呢？ Dude, what's he looking at?
大概是你那顶蠢帽子 Probably your dumb hat.
老大，威慑战术即将失败 Sir, intimidation is failing.
给他加压，马上 Increase the pressure. Engage.
我说乔丹，你平时玩些什么？ So, Jordan, what do you like to do for fun?
不知道，瞎玩 I don't know. Stuff.
老大，这像是在顶嘴 Sir, that sounds like backtalk.
没错！把他弄出去！用脚踹 That's it! He's outta here! Give him the boot.
遵命，准备抬脚 Yes, sir. Launching boot.
听我指令，5，4，3… On my mark. In five, four, three…
我参加了一个乐队，挺有趣的 I play in a band. That's fun.
等下，我们也曾参加过乐队 Wait. We were in a band.
我也曾参加过乐队，吉它主奏 I was in a band, lead guitar.
太棒了，我玩低音琴 Cool. I rock the bass.
- 我们经常表演AC/DC的曲子 - 耶，AC/DC是我最喜欢的乐队 - We played a lot of AC/DC. - Yeah, my favorite band is AC/DC.
不是吧 What.
妈妈，这不是约会 Mom, it's not a date.
我们准备出去跟一帮朋友滑雪 We're going skating with a group of friends.
哦，有意思，那样就可以脱身了，来笑一个 Oh, fun. That'll be off the hook. L-O-L.
别那样子讲话！ Stop talking like that!
等下，乔丹呢？ Wait. Where's Jordan?
你让乔丹跟老爸在一起？ Did you leave Jordan with Dad?
妈妈！这太让人尴尬了 Mom! This is so embarrassing.
莱莉，你爸爸永远不会对… Riley, your father would never do any…
耶！ Yeah!
帅呆了！ Awesome.
再见，妈，再见，爸 Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
- 玩得开心点 - 再见，哥们 - Have fun. - Peace out, my homies.
知道吗，乔丹真是个好孩子 You know, Jordan's a good kid.
你自己也不赖 You're not so bad yourself.
老大，老婆已经发出了暗示，我们怎么应对？ Sir, the wife has initiated contact. What do we do?
我们的机会来了，瞄她一眼 This is our chance. Give her the look.
他又摆出那张臭脸了 He's making that stupid face again.
要不要给他一巴掌？ Should we smack him?
少来，他那么可爱 Come on. He's adorable.
信号来了 There's the signal.
做好准备，重复一遍，做好准备 We are go. Repeat, we are go.
准备接触，5，4，3，2… Contact in five, four, three, two…
我还好，你们呢？ I'm good. You guys good?
- 对，我没事 - 对，我也还好 - Yeah. I'm good. - Yeah, I'm good here.
好的 Good.
好吧，这就够了 Okay, that's enough.
好，我来修理桌子 Yeah. I'll go fix the table.