那个 要不我们... You know what? Should we--
必须啊 赶紧的 Fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
把它放车库吧 Uh, yeah, I guess just put it in the garage.
我睡觉的地方 Oh. Uh, where I sleep?
对 只有那儿有地方了 Yeah, it's just, it's the only place with room.
好吧 直面恐惧 挺好的 Okay. Uh, well, it's good to face your fears.
我一直害怕外人打扰 后来真有人去了 I was scared of intruders till I had one of those in my room,
我才发现真是 and then I realized, you know,
不是不报 时候未到 if they're gonna kill me, they're gonna kill me.
因为他一直...悄悄说这些 'Cause he kept... whispering that.
好吧 All right.
-嘿 罗斯 -"嘿 罗斯" -Hey, Russ. -"Hey, Russ"?
去你妈的理查德·亨德里克斯 Fuck you, Richard Hendricks!
为啥去我妈 Fuck me regarding?
博客疯传你把我们的想法告诉了盖文·贝尔森 It's all over the blogs. You took our idea to Gavin Belson?
不好意思 我们的想法 I'm sorry. Our idea?
对啊 新互联网 我们一起想出来的 Yeah, the new Internet. We came up with that together,
就在我家娃学校门口 之前那个学校 standing outside of my kid's school--former school.
不是 你让我说一个想法 Uh, no, um, you told me to name an idea,
我就说了一个 那是我的想法 and so I named one. That was my idea,
你只是站那听了一下 you were just standing there.
我像接生一样把它拽出来的 Yeah, pulling it out of you like a newborn baby.
好吧 可是当医生 Okay, but, well, if a doctor
把小孩从孕妇身体里拽出来的时候 pulls a baby out of a pregnant woman,
孩子也不归医生所有啊 the doctor doesn't get to then keep the baby.
首先 我前妻 也就是我儿子他妈 Okay, first of all, my ex-wife is fucking the doctor
跟接生的医生睡了 还想要全部的监护权 that delivered my son, and they're suing for full custody,
所以你错了 其次 这不是个孩子 so you're wrong. Second of all, this isn't a baby.
别转移话题了 理查德 Stop trying to change the subject, Richard!
我必须得去找盖文 Okay, well, uh, I had to go to Gavin,
因为专利是他的 because he owned the patent
而且 他刚把专利权转给我 which, as it turns out, he just signed over to me.
你今天在这儿挺好的 So, um, it's actually good that you're here,
因为...你想加入 我们又需要资金 because... you want in and we need funding,
尤其是现在没一家风投愿意碰我们 especially since no VC in town will touch us,
就连莫妮卡的新公司都不愿意 not even Monica's new firm.
就是说盖文不干了 你想让我当接盘侠 So, Gavin pulls out, and you want me to be your sloppy seconds.
从始至终就是为了我的钱 对吧 It's always about my money, isn't it?
你是投资人 不为钱还能为什么呢 Uh, well, you are an investor, so what else would it be about?
-我的想法 -是我的想法 -My idea! -It was my idea!
那你给自己融资吧 Well, then fund it yourself.
去你妈的 理查德·亨德里克斯 Fuck you, Richard Hendricks.
爆翻你的小菊花 Fuck you right in your little asshole,
而且不是用我爷爷那种唯美的方式 and not in the beautiful way, like Grandpa and Pedro.
刚是搞什么啊 Uh, what the hell was that?
刚是硅谷最后一个 That was the last wealthy guy in Silicon Valley
愿意搭理我们的有钱人 that would even fucking talk to us.
让他冷静一天 Maybe I'll give him a day to cool off,
我明天再去找他试试吧 try him again tomorrow or something.
这可说不好 Not so sure about that.
-不是吧 -风水轮流转啊 理查德 -Oh, come on. -Payback's a bitch, isn't it, Richard?
他貌似不知道这不是你的车 I don't think he knows that's not your car.
第
四
季
第
六
集
硅
谷
房屋信息 你准备搬出去了吗 Real estate listings? What, are you looking to move out?
没有 上红鳍开个小差 No, I'm just taking a little Redfin holiday.
看房屋信息算是我的世外桃源吧 I find there's a certain escapist allure to real estate listings.
我喜欢那个 I like that one.
太糟了 是我能承受价格的十倍 Too bad it's 10 times what I can afford,
因为我辞了潜望镜的工作 'cause, you know, I quit Periscope to go work
来了一个前景为零的公司 我靠 for a company with zero prospects, 'cause fuck me.
按照期房的价格算 Well, with preconstruction pricing,
这套才是你能承受价位的六倍 this one's actually only six times more than you could afford.
现在咱们去亚马逊 So now, let's go into Amazon
看看用我们想象的积蓄 and see what we could buy...
能买点什么 ...with all those imaginary savings.
等一下 Wait a minute.
如果我们压根就不需要投资人呢 What if we don't need an investor at all?
让风投都滚蛋 Fuck all these VCs.
如果我们只需要客户呢 What if all we need is a customer?
哪儿来的客户 我们连产品都没有 Customer for what? We haven't built the product yet.
那些房地产商也没盖出来房子啊 对吧 Well, uh, neither have all those condo builders, right?
他们给那些在房子盖出来之前 I mean, they are offering a discount to people
就购买的客户打折 who buy before they build.
我们也可以这么干 只不过是用数据存储 We can do the same thing, but with data storage.
-听着像诓钱的啊 -这其实很常见的 -That sounds like a scam. -Well, no, it's actually common practice.
我买房时就这样 诓钱是后来的事儿 It's how I bought my condo. The scam came after
就是我把房子租给了个赖着不走的钉子户 when I rented to a squatter who wouldn't leave.
虽然天底下是不缺 Granted, there's no shortage of huge corporations
有着大量数据的公司 但这很冒险 with vast amounts of data, but it's highly risky.
理查德 我们所提供的服务是将数据储存在 I mean, Richard, we'd be offering to store data
手机构成的网络上 on a network of cellphones
但无论应用还是网络 我们还都没做出来 before we built the app or the network.
对 但是你看 这风险总不会 Yeah, but look, look, it's no more risky
比跟那些抽风的亿万富翁共事更大吧 than working with all these crazy billionaires.
你想啊 杰克跟他的小黑盒 I mean, Jack and his boxes.
天知道盖文浪到哪里去寻找自我了 Gavin just fucked off to go find himself who knows where.
彼得说死就死了 Peter died.
人都死了你还说人家抽风 Yeah, I guess that makes him crazy.
重点是 人家都朝你车里撒尿了 The point is, if you don't draw the line in the sand
你还不跟他划清界限吗 when some guy pisses in your car, where do you, you know?
有人朝谁的车里撒尿了吗 Did someone piss in someone's car?
没真的尿 这就是个 Not literally, no. It's a, uh,
就是个比喻 有年头了 It's a figure of speech, an old one.
是个谚语啊 An adage.
好了 贾里德 咱们开始着手做吧 Anyway, uh, Jared, let's get a deck together on this.
得令 还有 提醒你一句 Aye, aye, Captain. And, uh, just word to the wise,
第一个客户总是最难拿下的 often the first customer is the hardest one to land.
等等 客户 我们要销售了吗 Wait. Customer? Are we pitching?
-对 差不多吧 -棒极了 理奇 -Yeah, looks like it. -Hot damn, Richie!
这就上路吧 尿到所有人车里去 Let's hit the road. We're gonna piss in everyone's car.
这谚语我没用错吧 Am I using that right?
医疗集团 销售集团 保险公司 Medical groups, sales groups, insurance companies,
贾里德 干得漂亮 真的 Jared, yeah, good work here, really.
盖文说得没错 Well, Gavin was right.
他的名字是块上好的敲门砖 His name certainly opened a lot of doors.
你发表声明之后 所有人都听说过我们了 Ever since your announcement, everyone has heard of us.
贾里德 你不会是告诉那些人 Jared, you didn't tell all these people
盖文还是公司的一员吧 that Gavin was still working with the company, did you?
没有 但我也没明说他不干了 Well, no, but I--I never explicitly said that he wasn't.
-这不对吗 -没 贾里德 这很好 -Was that wrong? -No, Jared, that's fine.
我这技术的魅力不言自明 The tech will speak for itself.
那是自然 It certainly will.
理查德 我们进屋谈的时候 Now, Richard, when we get into that room,
谈话的事全权交给我 let me do all the talking.
技术自己也会说话 And also the tech will talk.
等等 所以盖文不来了吗 Wait. So Gavin's not coming?
不来 但我们来了 No, but we are.
我们已经在这儿了 We've already come.
盖文离开了公司吗 Gavin left the company?
是 但我们觉得重要的 Yes, um, but what's important--at least we think--
不是盖文是不是离开了 is not whether Gavin is gone,
而是一开始引盖文与我们合作的东西 but what brought him to us in the first place,
就是这项技术 and that's the tech.
先生们 抱歉让你们久等了 Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting.
我是乔治·曼德钱 首席执行官 I'm George Mandechian, CEO.
我很荣幸能... I'm very excited to...
是吗 什么时候 He did? When?
好吧 Okay.
该死的 God damn it.
他们哪怕就看一眼我们的技术 I mean, if people would just look at what we're offering,
就一定会被征服的 I think they'd be blown away.
也许我们需要新的切入点 Perhaps we need a new angle.
-我假装抽风 -什么 -I'll fake a seizure. -What?
魔笛手吗 你们好 我是丽兹·西戴尔 Pied Piper? Hi. I'm Liz Tinsdale,
通用真理公司的合规主管 head of compliance here at Fiduciated General.
我是埃利希·巴赫曼 Erlich Bachman.
我是理查德·亨德里克斯 And I'm, uh, Richard Hendricks.
-人都到齐了吗 -是的 到齐了 -Are we all here? -Yes, yeah, we are.
抱歉 跟你交个底吧 Uh, sorry, full disclosure:
盖文·贝尔森已经离开公司了 uh, Gavin Belson has left the company.
-我懂了... -是他的损失 -I see. Well... -His loss.
今天下午 He won't be...
他不能跟像你一样 sitting across from someone
迷人的美女面对面了 对吧 as charming as yourself this afternoon, will he?
好吧 你们大老远的来了 Okay. Well, I mean, you did come all the way here,
不如就跟我过来吧 so why don't you follow me?
我愿跟随你到天涯海角 我们走吧 I'd follow you to the end of the Earth. Shall we?
-你干什么呢 -我怎么了 -What are you doing, hmm? -What?
如你所见 你们的数据会更加安全 So, as you can see, your data will be even more secure,
因为是存储在众多设备上 because it will be stored on multiple devices.
我们的报价也非常有竞争力 And we can offer you a very competitive rate.
花在存储上的费用预期每年可节约... You can expect to see storage savings annually of...
25% 25 percent.
这真的很了不起 That's very impressive, all of it,
但是你们得理解像我们这种公司 but you guys have to understand that companies like ours
特别需要规避风险 are particularly risk averse.
你是有点爱达荷口音吗 丽兹 Is it a slight Idaho accent, Liz?
是蒙大拿 Oh. It's Montana, actually.
那更好 蓝天之州 太棒了 Even better. The big blue sky state. Yeah.
我就知道你一定是从天上来的 Well, I knew you had to have come from above.
说到天堂 Well, uh, speaking of heaven,
可能那种感觉就是 that's probably where you'll think you are
在数据存储上省下25%支出时的感觉 when you start saving 25 percent on your data storage.
就从这开始吧 Get an upgrade from there.
丽兹 你皮肤很美 Liz, you have beautiful skin.
-谢谢...你 -你 是的 -Um, thank--thank you. -You, uh--yeah.
你们两个 Both of you.
听我说 我觉得我知道他要说什么 Listen, uh, I think I know what he's gonna say,
但是请让我把技术总监找过来 but let me see if I can pull my CTO in here.
你能稍微收敛一下吗 Can you... reel it in a little?
我们在谈生意 不是帮你约炮 We're trying to make a business deal, not get you laid.
我没想约炮 理查德 I'm not trying to get laid, Richard.
很明显 她的性生活压抑很久了 Clearly, she has a lot of pent-up sexual energy,
很可能是因为在这样一个破公司里 likely from working in this worm farm,
所以那只是我用的手段 so that's the angle I'm taking
因为我不能装抽风 since I'm not allowed to have a seizure.
再说 她会为我们说话的 Besides, she's going to bat for us.
你应该感谢我 技术总监就要来了 You should be thanking me. The CTO is on the way in.
是的 那是因为我们的技术 Yes, because of the technology
和我们的商业提案 and because of our business proposal.
就这一次 能求你 Look, can you just please, for once,
不要总想着你的小兄弟吗 keep your dick out of the equation?
我也希望我能 但是我的小兄弟 I really wish I could, but my dick is the abacus
-正是这一切的根基 -二位 -upon which this equation will be---Guys.
这是我们的技术总监 This is our CTO.
太好了 Great.
你们好 Hello.
我是丹·梅尔彻 见到你们很高兴 I'm Dan Melcher. Nice to meet you.
你好 Yeah. Hello.
你好啊 丹 Hi, Dan.
-你们互相认识吗 -不 -Do--Do you guys know each other? -No.
我刚说了我叫丹 他这才知道 I just said my name was Dan, that's how he knows.
我不需要继续浪费你的时间了 I don't need to waste any more of your time with this.
接下来交给我吧 Why don't I-I--I'll take this one from here.
-好吗 -好的 -Okay? Oh. -Yeah.
你他妈的在这里做什么 What the fuck are you doing here?
好没礼貌啊 丹尼尔 Very rude, Daniel.
不过 在'科技博客'创业展你揍了我之后 Although, what can we expect after TechCrunch Disrupt
我们还能指望你怎样呢 when you sucker punched me in the god damn face?
你上了我的老婆 You fucked my wife.
我上了你的老婆们 不是一个 I fucked your wives. Plural.
两个都上了 Both of them.
埃利希 顾客永远是对的 Erlich, the customer is always right,
所以我们就不要加"们"了 就这样 so let's just leave it at "Wife," Singular, and be done with it.
好吧 Okay.
我需要你们仔细听清楚 I need you to listen to me very carefully.
我在被'甲骨文'公司解雇后 It took me a very long, long time
花了很长时间才重新站稳脚步 to get back on my feet after I got fired from Oracle,
而且 技术公司都不愿意接触我 and... tech firms wouldn't touch me,
但是我在这里安定了下来 有了生活 but I've managed to find a home here, a life.
好吧 这是保险业 这并不理想 Okay, it's insurance. It's not ideal,
但是 这还算可以 but, you know, it--it's something.
而且我不在乎你们来这里推销什么 And I don't care whatever it is that you're selling here.
我不会买的 I'm not buying it.
这可是非常有突破性的技术 Well, it's a pretty groundbreaking technology.
把嘴闭上吧 Oh, shut the fuck up.
-好吧 -看我 -Okay, yeah, d--uh---Look at me.
永远不会 好吗 Never gonna happen. Okay?
-永 远 不 -丹 -Never going to---Dan?
你早上给狗吃药了吗 Did you give the dogs their medicine this morning?
没有 我应该那么做吗 Uh, no, was I supposed to?
是的 你还记得吗 因为我要回去 Yeah, because, remember, I had to go back
那个餐馆取你忘记的信用卡 to the restaurant to get your card that you forgot.
是啊 抱歉 Uh, yep. Sorry.
我想我可以飞奔回家 Um, I s--I mean, I guess I could run home.
-你们结婚了吗 -还没 我们订婚了 -You two married? -Oh, not yet. We're engaged.
-见到你们两个很高兴 -再见 丽兹 -Well, it was nice to meet you both. -Bye now, Liz.
-好的 再见 亲爱的 -再见 -All right, bye, honey. -Bye.
丹 Oh, Dan.
丹 那个丹 Dan, Dan, Dan.
丹·梅尔彻 把你揍出翔那个人 Dan Melcher? The guy who beat the piss out of you?
如假包换 The very same.
我看着他的眼睛说 I looked him dead in the eyes, and I said,
"丹尼尔 你之前两任妻子我都上了 "Daniel, I've fucked every wife you've ever had.
想来个三发三中吗" Care to go three for three?"
毫无疑问 他并不想 Needless to say, he did not.
你可没你吹的那么厉害 You don't come off in that story as well as you think you do.
那么 为了避免第三次戴绿帽 So, to avoid being thrice made a cuckold,
他接受了我们的提议 he agreed to a deal?
还没有 梅尔彻其实同意签约了 Well, uh, not yet. Melcher actually signed off on it,
但他的未婚妻想确认 but his fiancée wanted to certify
我们正在做的东西 that what we're trying to build complies
符合他们的数据处理和安全协议 with their data-handling and security protocols.
我们明天就要去核查一遍 We're reviewing it all tomorrow, actually.
我等不及了 Ah, I can't wait.
明天才是真正好玩的时候 Tomorrow the real fun begins.
-不 不 你不能去 -为什么 -Uh, no. No. You're not coming. -Why not?
为什么 怎么说呢 Why not? Uh... jeez.
你上了丹上一任妻子 Well, you fucked Dan's last wife
还是他担任创业展会评委前一夜 the night before he was our judge on the TechCrunch panel,
丝毫不考虑你的行为对我们公司的影响 with absolutely no regard for what that meant to the company.
对公司的影响 What it meant to the company
就是我们冲进了决赛 赢下了展会 was that we went to the finals, and we won.
因为技术够好 Because of the tech.
我们是因为技术好赢的 记得吗 We won because of the tech, remember?
我们也是因为技术好才能和他们签约 We're getting this deal because of the tech.
我不会让你搅浑的 好吗 I'm not letting you fuck this up, okay?
我知道你想找事情做 I know you're looking for something to do,
但你不能这么做 but this is not it.
你说我想找事情做是什么意思 What do you mean, I'm looking for something to do?
我在你这浪费这么久是你的荣幸 You're lucky that you've garnished this much of my time.
我有很多事要做 成吨的事情 I have plenty to do! Tons of lots of things!
我有个蒸蒸日上的孵化器 I have a thriving incubator.
蒸蒸日上 It is thriving.
不是吗 Isn't it?
操你妈 一群混蛋 Fuck you, guys.
好了 我们什么时候能在手机上做测试 Okay, so, how soon can we test our app on a phone?
听着 埃利希的那些事情 Look, uh, about all this Erlich stuff--
不 不 我不想谈他 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I-I--I don't wanna talk about him...
再也不想想到他 or think about him... ever again.
好 听着 我已经签了 Okay, look, I've--I've signed off.
但是 理查德 请你 But, Richard, I need you
看着我的眼睛 告诉我这能成功 to look me in the eye and tell me that this is gonna work,
因为要是成功不了 我就彻底完蛋了 'cause if it doesn't, I'm completely fucked.
绝对可以成功 我保证 It's--It's gonna work. I promise.
好的 听着 我现在出去 All right, well, look, I'm gonna step out. Okay.
-把你交给她了 -好了 -You're in good hands. Okay. -Okay.
-我们从核算人记录开始好吗 -当然 -Should we start with adjuster records? -Sure.
你们说精通视频记录 对嘛 You guys said you were proficient in video files, right?
我们做过一段时间视频聊天 We were a--a video chat company for a while.
-那很棒 -我想是的 -Oh, that's exciting. -Uh, yeah, I guess.
只是不太适合我 It--It wasn't really for me.
实际上就在我们快成功时 我退出了 Um, in fact, actually, just as we were taking off, I walked away.
-害怕承诺吗 -我不清楚 -Commitment issues? -Uh, I don't know.
只是因为 我从没 It's just I... I never really...
我从不觉得视频聊天 thought that video chat
是我们压缩算法的最好出路 was the best use of our compression.
感觉我将就了 你明白吗 Kind of felt like I was settling, you know?
将就了 Ooh! Settling.
-对 我们公司能够 -该死 -Yeah, our company can grow in ways... -Oh, fuck.
以我们没想过的方式发展 ...that we haven't even thought of yet.
我当时要用下半生的时间 I mean, I was going to spend the rest of my life
去想还有没有更好的选择了 just wondering if there was something better.
那过的是什么日子啊 That's not really a way to live.
难道我要就这么和朋友说 And, what, I'm gonna say to all my friends, like,
"我就是这么度过一生的" "Oh, this is how I'm spending my time," You know?
每天早晨我醒来 就面对视频聊天 Every morning I--I get up, and it's vidchat.
到晚上睡觉 视频聊天 Then I go to bed, and it's vidchat.
等我再醒来 还是视频聊天 Then I get up again, it's vidchat.
我会想自杀的 你明白吗 I wanna kill myself, you know?
我想我理解你的意思 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
是的 Yeah.
你怎么想 埃利希 So, what do you think, Erlich?
你是最先见到这里的 You're the first person to see the place.
我最爱新鲜的抹墙粉和希望的味道了 I love the smell of fresh spackle and hope.
再过两周布里姆-霍尔就开张了 Yep. Two more weeks and Bream-Hall's in business.
更棒的是打了蠢驴爱德华·陈 Even better that donkey Ed Chen
和拉维加一个措手不及 and Raviga were so blindsided,
他们现在简直是热锅上的蚂蚁 they're running around with their hair on fire.
这世界太美好了 埃利希 Yeah, it's a beautiful world, Erlich.
努力了这么多年后 我终于做到了 And after years of busting my ass, I'm finally doing it.
看看这个 我们这的衣服上 And check it out, we even have swag...
都有我的名字 with my name on it.
-看 莫妮卡·霍尔 -劳里 -Look, "Monica Hall." -Laurie!
你好 现在你俩都在这 Hello. Well, good. Now that you're both here,
我们就不用再闲扯了 we can dispense with the mindless chitchat.
我想最先给你们两个一个机会 I'd like to be the first to offer you, both,
把我招入麾下 the opportunity to take me off the market.
我不明白你的意思 I don't understand.
我十分敬佩 甚至可以说是崇敬 I'm saying that I very much respect
你在这里所做的一切 what you're doing here, almost revere it,
而我想成为你们的合作伙伴 为你们服务 and I wanted to offer my services as an associate.
我不会三天打鱼两天晒网 And I will not phone it in.
我会是早上十点半第一个来上班的 I'll be the first one here at 10:30 a.M.
在刚过四点时我会最后一个离开 and the last one to leave a smidge after 4:00.
当然 我需要一间办公室 I'll, of course, need an office,
一位漂亮的私人助理 an attractive personal assistant,
一切顺利的话还需要产假 paternity leave, if that goes well,
还需要伞护式责任保险以防万一 and an umbrella insurance policy if that does not go well.
怎么样 What do you say?
我想要份工作 亲爱的们 I'd like a job, dears.
这家基金唯一的作用 The singular function of this firm
就是确保我们投资者的钱交到了对的人手里 is to insure that our investors' money is in wise hands.
假如说 你还给人留下过什么印象 If... you are known for anything,
也与我们的宗旨背道而驰 it is quite the opposite.
所以 不行 Therefore, no.
我很抱歉 埃利希 I'm sorry, Erlich.
我知道你在找事情做 Look, I--I know you're looking for something to do, but--
是谁在散布这种谣言 Who--Who is pushing this false narrative
说什么我在找事情做 that I am looking for something to do?
-但是什么 -但劳里是我的合伙人 -"But"... what? -But Laurie is my partner,
如果她认为你没有任何实质价值的话 and if she doesn't think you add any real value,
这里在未来不会有你的位置 then there's no future for you here.
我给了你许多大麻 I gave you weed, a lot of it.
你想要件抓绒衫吗 You want a fleece?
天 测试初版时 God, there's something beautiful
真是个美妙的时刻 about testing your first alpha.
就像看小孩子第一次自己走路 It's like watching a child take its first steps.
让我们来看看我们这旨在省空间的应用 Well, let's see if our space-saver app
能不能真的节省空间 actually saves us any space.
好了 完成了 All right. Done.
是吗 Yeah?
我能把这初版标记成完成品吗 Can I mark this deliverable as complete?
我们的小孩是位舞者吗 Is our child a dancer?
等下 测试前我只用了32.2GB的数据 Wait. I was only using 32.2 gigs of data before the test,
现在显示我用了47.8GB and now it says I'm using 47.8.
操 我的也变大了 什么鬼 Fuck. Mine expanded also. What the fuck?
为什么我会有个叫"酷发型"的照片集 Why do I have a photo folder entitled "Cool Hairstyles"?
为什么我有封关于安东·拉维募捐长跑的电邮 Why do I have an e-mail for the "Anton LaVey Fun Run"?
操 我们有个合并错误 Fuck. We had a merge error.
我们所有的信息两个手机上都有 All of our information is on both phones.
我好奇你喜欢些什么诡异的东西 I wonder what kind of weird shit you get into.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我在看你那令人尴尬的个人信息 I'm just looking at your very embarrassing personal information.
操你大爷 如果你看我的 我也要看你的 Fuck you. If you look at my shit, I'm gonna look at your shit.
好了好了 别激动 All right, whoa, whoa. Easy now.
我会深深探入你收件箱的每一角落 I'll go balls deep on your inbox.
只要你他妈拍过一张自拍 我一定挖出来 If you've taken one fucking selfie, I will find it.
伙计们 我们得保持冷静 Okay, guys, we've got to calm down.
别这样 我们可不希望这样 Okay? Look at this. This is not where we wanna be.
我们来深呼吸一下 Let's--Let's take a deep breath,
冷静下来 然后把手机放下 and let's just be cool and put our phones down.
放下吧 Go ahead.
只要他不碰手机我就放下 I'll put it down once he stops touching it.
好的 很好 Okay. Great.
很好 也不是很难 对吧 Good. That wasn't so hard, was it?
-如果他可以 -别别别 -If he can do it -No. No, no, no, no, no.
-没事的 -你上当了 -It's okay. -Gotcha.
不 你没有 去死 No, you didn't. Fuck you.
那些是杏仁罂粟籽松饼还是柠檬罂粟籽松饼 Are those almond poppy seed muffins or lemon poppy seed muffins?
没关系 我两种都要 No matter, I'll take both,
以及柜子的第一层全要 and the, uh, whole first floor.
这一天真是 It's been a...
太难熬 pretty bad...
这么着吧 You know what?
你们有不新鲜打折的吗 Do you have any day-olds?
已预订
你坐在这吗 Hey, are you sitting here?
不然你以为呢 What the fuck does it look like?
抱歉 他没有告诉我们 Sorry. He didn't tell us
邀请了谁来参加这个会议 who he was inviting to the meeting.
他就说有很多人 一共要来多少人 He just said it was a bunch of us. How many are we?
我想还有其他三四家基金的人会来 I think a few other firms are coming.
红杉资本和格雷洛克 也许这轮会多几家 Sequoia and Greylock, maybe a few more for this round.
我是指数创投的杰夫 Jeff from Index Ventures.
你带着公司赠品来参加融资会 You brought swag to a pitch meeting?
真老土 三年前才会有人这么干 Yikes, that's so three years ago.
你见到基南了吗 Have you seen Keenan yet?
我不知道他是谁 I don't know who that is.
说真的 我不知道你们说的是谁 Seriously, though, I don't know who you're talking about.
布里姆-霍尔 Bream-Hall?
老兄 我不知道你以为你是谁 Hey, man. I don't know who you think you are,
但你不该坐在这张桌子旁 but you're not supposed to be at this table.
我不知道你以为你是谁 I don't know who you think you are,
但男人不该长奶子 but men aren't supposed to grow tits,
但你却长了 就在你的游泳圈上 and yet there they are, atop your little paunch.
你他妈是谁 Who the fuck are you?
我他妈是埃利希·巴赫曼 I'm fucking Erlich Bachman.
你他妈是谁 Who the fuck are you?
我是基南·菲尔德斯帕 I'm Keenan Feldspar.
我喜欢你这牛逼样 And I like the balls on you.
你起来 我要坐他旁边 Get outta there! I wanna sit next to this guy!
好呀 Yeah.
老天 赠品不错 Oh, man! Nice swag!
我告诉你 这里 这里有点热 I tell you, it is, um, it is warm in here.
对 他们一到半夜就关空调 Yeah, they, um, shut the AC off after midnight.
这公司其中一种省钱之道 The things this company goes through to save a dime.
不愧是梅尔彻 Well, classic Melcher.
好吧 下面我们来讨论 Okay, should we cover this section
有关入侵预防的部分吧 on intrusion detection and prevention?
丽兹 Liz?
好吧 我并不想乱打听 Okay, I don't want to pry,
但我是不是做错了什么 but did I do something wrong?
之前几个小时 你一直有点 It's just for the past few hours, you've been a little, um...
-魂不守舍 -我只是 -checked out. -Uh, I'm just...
-在考虑 -你是在打退堂鼓吗 -thinking. -So, you're getting cold feet?
-什么 -没事 我知道你要面对什么 -What? -It's okay. I know what you're dealing with.
我不认为你知道 I don't think you do.
我知道 相信我 我很清楚 I do. Trust me, I do.
好吧 我相信做到你这种职位的人 Okay, I bet someone in your position
肯定经常被劝说要三思而后行 has been told many times to look before you leap.
但是丽兹 But, Liz...
现在你不如就 先行动再慢慢考虑 what about right now you just... leap before you look?
听着 我现在要置自己于危险之地 And, look, I'm gonna go out on a limb here,
但我想说 but I'm gonna go ahead and say
我相信在你内心深处 that I'll bet there's a piece of you deep down inside
知道这是一个好主意 that... knows this is a good idea.
这将是全新并令人兴奋的经历 It's new, it's exciting.
我是说 老天丽兹 这是最耐久 I mean, by God, Liz, this is the most durable,
最复杂的去中心式存储基础设施 sophisticated decentralized storage infrastructure
这世上独一无... the world has-
然后就这么发生了 And then it just happened.
-在地板上 -我们就像两只野生动物 -On the floor? -We were like two wild animals.
那感觉一定爽爆了 I'm sure it was magnificent.
我之前因为埃利希到处撩妹而生气 I get pissed at Erlich for not keeping it in his pants,
结果现在我却干出这种事 and then I go ahead and do this?
妈的 丹一定会发现的 Shit. I mean, Dan's gonna find out.
他打烂了埃利希的脸因为埃利希睡他老婆 I mean, he punched Erlich in the face for when he did it to him,
现在你觉得他会怎么对我 and now what do you think he's gonna do to me, huh?
他一定会杀了我 然后这笔生意也黄了 He's gonna fucking kill me, then the deal's gonna fall through.
我不敢相信整个公司要完蛋就因为我的弟弟 I can't believe I jeopardized the entire company with my dick.
好了 我们会挺过这一关 Hey, hey. We can get through this.
-好吧 -首先你得告诉我点细节 -Yeah. All right. -First, I need some details.
-你陷入爱河了吗 -什么 -Are you in love? -What?
不 没有 我根本不了解她 No, no, I barely know her.
好 这很好 这是个好消息 Okay. Okay, that's good.
这样我们只需想办法让你抽身而退 Then, we just need to extricate you from this situation.
听着 实际操作可能不会那么简单 Okay. Now, it's not gonna be easy,
因为她很可能已经爱上你了 because she's very probably in love with you.
贾里德 我真不觉得 Jared, I--I don't think that that's--
理查德 现在不是你装谦虚的时候 Richard, this is no time for false humility.
接受吧 你很受女士欢迎 You're a catch. Just deal with it.
你得干净利落地和她一刀两断 Now, you need to break this thing off clean and clear,
所以你走进办公室 so you just walk into that office
-就要直视着她说 -嗯 -and--and you look her in the eyes, and you say... -Mm-hmm?
听着 宝贝儿 "Listen, baby...
你不要开始想太多 我这个人呢 "You're getting hitched, and--and I...
此生注定浪子无依 was born to roam."
"此生注定浪子无依" "Born to roam"?
贾里德 我手机上有未接电话吗 Hey, Jared, did I miss any calls?
现在不太方便 兄弟 Not a good time, my man.
贾里德 Jared.
不好意思 Sorry.
没 没有电话 Nope. No calls.
真新鲜 What a shocker.
我得给塔拉打电话 I need to call Tara.
可以是可以 但得让我举着手机 Okay, but I--I need to hold your phone.
谈话内容可能涉及性爱 It might be sexual in nature.
这点事情 我想我能应付得了 Well, I think I can handle that.
好的 All right.
不 麻烦您找点别的挂这里 No, um, something else in here, please?
-莫妮卡 这里突出上… -是 -Monica, this salient---Mmm?
女士们 Ladies.
你来干什么 What are you doing here?
这个问题的答案嘛 I believe the answer to that question...
目前正坐在你们尚未完工的等候区 is currently sitting in your unfinished waiting area.
老天 那是 Holy shit. Is that...
基南·菲尔德斯帕吗 正是 Keenan Feldspar? Yes.
怎么 听说过他吗 Why? Have you heard of him?
当然 是家合格的风投基金都知道他 Of course. Every competent VC has.
他的虚拟现实头戴设备据称将成为业界新标准 His VR headset is reputed to be the new standard.
的确是 我昨晚在他家亲自测试了样品 Oh, it is. I tested the prototype last night at his house.
我们都有点喝多了 We got quite drunk.
他在我们的等候区做什么 What exactly is he doing in our waiting area?
那还用说吗 当然是在等待了 Well, Laurie, he's waiting...
等我的指示 upon my instruction.
会议室
想象一下 Imagine...
在你的新基金公司正式启动 landing the biggest whale in the Valley...
两周前 two weeks
就能签下硅谷最大一条鱼 before you launch your firm.
或者该说 在"我们"启动你的公司前 Or should I say before we launch your firm?
好了 新版做好了 All right. The new build is done.
这件事终于能解决了 I am so glad this is over.
我感觉像是二战时期的直布罗陀 I felt like Gibraltar in World War II,
至关重要 但死气沉沉 where it was both crucial and inert.
好了 只需按下按钮 一切恢复正常 All right. One press of the button, and we are back to normal.
怎么了 What's the problem?
我不知道 I don't know.
你不知道什么 What don't you know?
你解决这个问题的态度也太积极了 Well, you seem a bit eager to resolve the situation.
可以说得上迫切了 You're almost anxious.
几乎是全新的一面 It's a new color on you.
该给你换个全新的面色... A new color on you would be--
哪怕你现在讲些无聊的种族歧视言论 Even as you try and make a boring, racist comment,
也死盯着我的手机 移不开眼 you can't keep your eyes off my phone.
你看 我已经知道我的黑历史在你手机上 See? Now, I know all my embarrassing shit is on your phone
你一旦看了 and if you look at it,
就会没完没了地无情嘲笑我 you will mock me endlessly and without mercy.
但事实上 But what's also true is that
你本来就没完没了地无情嘲笑我 you already mock me endlessly and without mercy,
所以其实我没什么损失 so I have nothing to lose
反而可能有得赚 and, potentially, a huge amount to gain.
各位 这太疯狂了 Guys, this is madness.
我没什么好藏的 I have nothing to hide.
话是这么说 然而 I hear you, and yet...
我还是想看我的手机 I'd like to look at my phone.
好吧 Sure.
随你便 Suit yourself.
-滑动 -哦 -Swipe. -Mm-hmm.
-解锁 -哦 -Unlock. -Mmm.
你真的无所谓 You sure you don't care?
我看着像有所谓吗 Does it look like I care?
很好 Okay.
靠 Fuck!
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
你个混蛋 You dick!
-把手机给我 -迪尼希 -Give me the phone. -Dinesh.
-给我 -你现在太不冷静 -Give it to me. -You are not thinking clearly.
抱歉 Sorry.
看来我俩都输了 Looks like we both lose.
-并没有 -怎么说 -I don't think so. -How do you figure?
因为我现在知道你有不可告人的秘密 'Cause now I know you had some embarrassing shit to hide.
我没必要知道是什么 I don't even need to know what it is.
我的手机已经被冲下马桶了 但 My phone may be in the toilet, but...
-可我赢了 -并没有 -but I win. -No, you don't.
因为你永远都不知道那里面有什么 Because you'll never know what was on there...
而这一想法会慢慢侵蚀你 and that will slowly drive you down a dark path
折磨你 你全身... and torment you, so that every fiber--
不不不 我赢了 我赢了 Nuh-uh! I win! I win!
我赢了 我赢了 我赢了 I win. I win. I win!
我赢了 I win!
闭嘴 贾里德 Shut up, Jared.
昨晚... Last night...
昨晚... Last night was...
-很糟糕 -对 糟糕 -Bad. -...bad. Bad.
-对 没错 -很糟糕 -Yeah, oh my God. -Yeah. It was bad, right?
我们确实做得很糟糕 It was such a bad thing to have done.
是我最糟糕的性爱经历 The worst sex I think I've ever had...
目前为止 by far.
所以对你来说也很糟糕 Oh, s--it--so it was bad for you... too.
是啊 我们根本不合拍 Yeah, I mean, it was just all elbows.
还记得我们牙齿撞了多少下吗 I mean, how many times did our teeth clink?
-太多次 太多了 -是吧 -Too many. Mm-mm. Too many. -You know?
-太多了 -你头还一直动 -Too many. -And you move your head a lot.
-激情 -毫无 -Well... passion---None.
-对吧 -没错 -Right? I know. -Definitely.
就好像是处男头一晚 Like right out of the gate.
我把上衣脱掉后 When I took my top off,
你居然还说了"哇哦" and you actually said the word "gulp"?
-我说了吗 -说了 -I said it? -Yes. Yeah.
很大声吗 好吧 我的错 Out loud? Okay. Well, mistake on my part.
尽管很糟糕 As bad as it was, you know,
-很可怕 -好 -and it was bad, um... -Okay.
非常 糟糕 like... really... awful.
-我懂 -我... -I get it. -I just...
如果非要找个好处的话 If there's an upside to any of this,
那就是让我意识到我对丹的感情 it would be that I realize now what I have in Dan.
-也算一丝慰藉 好 -听着 -Silver lining, so that's nice. -Listen,
我不能再这么做了 I can't do this... anymore.
这... 我们... This--What we--
我想... 不如我们就达成协议 So, I just wanna--If we could just close the deal,
就此结束 be done with it.
丹同意的话 那我也同意 And if it's okay with Dan, it's fine with me.
-所以... -好 -So... -Good.
-好 -好 -Okay. -Okay.
等你走了我再来拿我的东西吧 So, I will come back and get my stuff when you're gone.
不 我要去... 门口 No, I'm just gonna... the door.
反正我此生注定浪子无依 I was born to roam, anyways.
理查德 Richard.
丽兹刚跟我说了 Liz just told me.
-她说了 -嗯 -She did? -Yup.
如果她同意的话 And... if it's fine with her,
那我也同意合作 then I guess the deal is fine with me,
合作达成 so... it's approved.
-好 -我送你下去吧 -Good. -I'll ride down with you.
不必麻烦了 好吧 Oh, you don't have to. Okay.
对了 Listen.
无需多说 It goes without saying, but...
绝不能让丽兹 Liz can never find out
知道我们之间的事 about that whole thing between us.
好 好 Okay. Yep.