Vicenta, have you seen the state of the remote control?
It’s in the living room
No, sweetheart, it’s covered in bite marks
That's because I’m teaching Valentin to fetch it
Well sweetheart, by the time he's learnt, this won't work anymore
What do you want in your sandwich for tomorrow?
Nothing, I don't wanna go on that old fogies outing!
Hey, I already bought you a ticket! It cost me 6 euros!
Well look, sell it on to someone at the bus stop
There's gonna be loads of widowers
I don't wanna travel 200 kilometres
just so they can let me loose in the country like Heidi, Vicenta!
But it's gonna be really fun
there's gonna be a bull fight
A bull fight!
These guys don't know what to do to get the old folk off their hands anymore
Even Concha's coming, you can't miss it!
Oh God! Fine, I'll come
but stop going on about it now
and tell this dog to stop following me
Stop following me, Valentin! Enough!
Señora, all I'm saying is don't take up all the washing line!
I need it more than you!
you've got a dryer, I can see it from here
Right, sure, what is there that you don't see?
Watch it! Are you calling me nosy?
Yes!
Well look, I think I'll just drop this
What are you playing at? Juan! Juan!
You grass!
Son!
For the record, you started it, look
Oh no, my blouse!
That blouse has to be handwashed!
Mum, what's going on?
The neighbour's dropping all my clothes on the ground
I don't know what her problem with me is!
But what do you expect? When you won't even stick up for me
What's the shouting about, Paloma?
This Señora's not right in the head!
Do something Juan because I can't like this! I can't live like this!
What shall we do?
Don't worry about it, see you tomorrow
Good night
A few slices, a few slices with pepperoni
Come on, show a bit of consideration!
How hard can it be to wipe your feet before coming in?
All you need to do is a bit of this like Michael Jackson
Yeah yeah Emilio!
No, not yeah yeah, don’t fob me off
this is my hallway and I’m in charge here
And if I say everyone has to wipe their feet here
everyone has to do it, end of story!
- Alright - Alright
Aren't you gonna say anything to him then or what?
He got away from me, look how fast he's going
He's really hot, don't you think?
Don't bother about it now, there's no point now
I really fancy that guy
He’s got something
Yeah, a boyfriend, and he lives with him
Oh come on! Every time you see a hot guy, he has to be gay
Yeah, unfortunately
Come on, after you
No, I'll take the stairs, it's good for your butt
Alright, wait, I'll come with you
Now you've left the lift door open! You're hopeless!
- Hey - Hey
What's up? Are you renting a film?
No, I'm killing time to get home late and annoy my dad
Oh, ok
How are things with your girlfriend?
What? My girlfriend?
Good...good...great
You don't seem emotionally mature enough to hold down a steady relationship to me
Really?
Yeah, I think if you get engaged, you'll end up regretting it
But by then it'll be too late, you'll have wasted the best years of your life
And you'll have turned into a boring family man
trapped in the 9 to 5 routine
How sad, don't you think?
You're telling me!
Is that The Ages of Lulu?
What? Lulu? No!
I'm looking at La Colmena
Ok, I'm off because it's twenty-past
Let's keep talking, ok?
Wow, that president's daughter's hot, isn't she?
Hey, I've got a girlfriend, you know
Me too
Hey! Well then sweetheart, have you picked one yet?
He was thinking about it
No, no, sure I've picked one
Alright, I'll wait for you in the flat
Mmm I get it, that one's really hot too!
Right but she's got a boyfriend
Me too
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
Every day's always the same
and I couldn't imagine it when I came to this place
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a riot
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
The house is falling down on me
and the caretaker's nowhere to be seen
The neighbours watch my every move
I can't take this place
Put together and give a good shake
a volcano and an earthquake
and you'll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone, anyone
The refurbishing
We're here!
Well, well. how punctual!
Nothing's too much for the boss's daughter,
Alright, you can bring the stuff in now
Hey, watch it, you're gonna mess up the door, you're like a herd of elephants!
Don't worry, I'll paint that for you later
Benito, go and get the rest of the stuff, and bring me the plastics
Well, let's see, what are you gonna start with?
Well, the first thing is to take down that partition
We'll clear up the rubble, get the paint off
we'll paint that wall nice and smooth, take the floorboards up
and then we'll get started on the kitchen
And how long's it gonna take?
Well more haste, less speed
Right, that sounds good
Sorry?
Antonio, look sorry. This is Roberto
- Hi - What's up little man?
You're gonna be trying out your new house in 10 days!
But...can I have a word with you for a second?
Yeah
Hey Antonio, don't forget about the frames
Yeah, yeah, they've been ordered
What's this?
Antonio! the foreman
No, no, I mean what are these people doing here? What's going on?
The refurbishing
What refurbishing?
Don’t you remember me telling you?
Oh come on! They're from my dad's building company, they fitted us in
Do you know how lucky we are?
Hang on, are you sure you and I talked about this?
Positive. It's just that you never listen to me when I talk to you
Right, I'm going. If you need anything, ask Roberto for it
Wait, I'll go down with you
I need to go to the warehouse for some materials
I'll leave you with this lot
Bye sweetheart, ok? I'll call you later so you can tell me how it's going
Good luck
Ok, you know what you need to do, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Right, how long are you gonna be here approximately?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you speak Spanish?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
This is gonna be fun
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on sweetheart, eat up, we're gonna be late
Natalia, we're going
Tell Dad to get out of the bathroom!
I'm coming!
Take off the earrings sweetheart, you're going to school!
Hey you! We're going
Fuck! What a childhood you're all giving me!
Quiet! Quiet! Are you hearing that?
That's building work! Juan! Juan, building work! Building work!
Yeah I heard it, it's coming from the new couple's flat
What kind of work are they doing that's causing such a racket?
They haven’t told me anything
Me neither, what a disgrace!
When you did building work, you didn’t tell anyone either you know
Of course, because I'm the president
I'll go and talk to them right away, you take the kids to school honey
I can't because I've got an appointment with the gynaecologist. Juan…
There's no rush, you know. I've got an exam
And me as well
Come on then, stop eating, enough!
Mum, you're driving me mad!
I'm gonna drive you really mad in a minute!
Come on Natalia, help me out here, please!
Lucia! Lucia, can you hear me?
Lucia, listen this is the third message I've left you
Call me back, I reckon these guys are just doing whatever the hell they want
Love you
Really! What's all this?
What?
According to article number 17 of the property law paragraph 5
the president must be notified of any building works at least one week before their commencement
I am the president of the community and I didn't know anything about this
I didn't know anything and I live here. So like you were gonna know!
Well, you must at least have had the works approved by the council, right?
The green certificate. The copy
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah what?
Yeah, we haven't got it!
My girlfriend organised the work and she's working and she's not answering my calls
Well, the work needs to be stopped until this gets cleared up
Hey, come on! Stop working!
Hey, don't kick that!
Stop working!
Leave it, leave it, don't waste your time, they don't speak Spanish
Leave it, man, I've already tried that, they don't speak English either
Hey, I told you not to kick that
Oh really? Well you need to be able to speak their language
Hey, that's it!
You see how they understand me?
Your pronunciation lets you down, it must be that
What a mess!
Wow, Charlie's Angels! How was the outing?
Great, they put us on the bus
took us to a waste ground, gave us a sandwich and tried to sell us a pressure cooker
Wonderful day
Wonderful, wonderful
Have you been keeping an eye on those two sluts upstairs?
I haven't seen them at all today, Doña Concha
I'll go see what they're up to
Ok, fine
You should have seen the bull fight
As soon as they let the thing loose, she started yelling for them to kill it
It was just a joke
Come on!
What's the hurry? Like we've got anything to do
Off you go, don't you all look nice in your caps
Goodness me, what a day! I'm so tired
I can't wait to get my shoes off
Tonight I'm gonna make Swiss chard
Vicenta, you left the door open!
No, I didn't
What do you mean you didn't?
If you didn't leave the door open then we must have been burgled
Oh my God! Someone's broken into the house
What's happened?
They've forced the door open, look!
What scum there is out there on the loose!
God! I said we shouldn't have gone on the outing
Some guard dog you've got there!
salesman, IT engineer...salesman!
What are you doing? Looking for a job?
No, I'm checking the obituaries to look for news of my ex
How was the casting?
They didn't pick me. But I ran into Fernando in the hall again
Oh, how nice. We're not making ends meet and all you can think about is the neighbour
I'm confused. It's the first time a guy I like has taken no notice of me
You'll get used to it
I'll have to make the first move. What a turn on, right?
Look Ali, I'm telling you this because I'm your mate
You're gonna fail miserably!
Come on, let's go
Go? Go where?
I've just thought of a completely original idea to talk with Fernando
What idea?
Hi
Have you got salt?
Yeah, sure. Hang on a second
Girl, completely original!
Alicia, this is retarded, let's go!
Say what you want but it works
Watch and learn how to get a date
Here you go
Be careful with the salt, it retains a lot of fluids
- Thanks - You're welcome
So, it works, huh?
What I'm not sure about is what time you arranged to meet him
Yes, they've forced the door. I don't know what for but they've forced the door
Well, at least they haven't taken anything
I reckon they saw Valentin and took fright
That'll be it. And didn't you see anyone strange coming in the building?
No, apart from you three, nobody
What did they want? We haven't got anything!
Well you were lucky you were out because if you were here...
They could have raped you or killed you both
I don't know how you can sleep at night on the first floor
The day when you least expect it, they break in through the window and you're done for
I'm alright because I'm on the second floor and also, I've got my son there
Otherwise I would have installed an alarm long before now
How much does one of those alarm things cost?
Hi honey!
How could they leave the place like this!
Finally, someone who speaks my language!
But what happened here? They haven't done anything!
The President of the Community came up quoting some paragraph in some article
and stopped the building work
He did what?
Ah Lucia, I was just...
Who do you think you are to stop my building work?
Really! I'm the President of the Community
No, no, no! You've got to right to come into my house and pass judgement about anything!
I don't know if you're aware that to do building work in your house
you need planning permission from the council
Oh really? What's this, then?
At first glance, it looks like...planning permission from the council
And now what? Are you gonna pay for the delay?
Come on, there's no need to be like that
Look, next time you want to come sticking your nose in my house, call me first. Okay?
Thank you
What's all the fuss about? What are you shouting about?
Nothing, Doña Concha, nothing
It's late!
What? What are you looking at?
Juan, don't let them walk all over you! Don't let them walk all over you!
Marisa, are you asleep?
Listen, what are we gonna do if they come back?
Who?
The ones who broke in through the door
And why would they come back when they didn't steal anything?
Naturally. Because maybe they were after us
Right! They saw us three widows in the hall and got swept off their feet
I'm being serious!
Look, go to sleep and give me a break!
What's that noise?
Valentin, find! Find! Find!
Tonight I'd better sleep with my false teeth in
Let's hope I don't have to bite anyone
But what sort of person can get up to work at 8 in the morning apart from Iñaki Gabilondo?
Me
Oh sorry, I meant this lot who...
Fernando? Have a good day
Hey! Mind what you're doing!
I'd like to see you come down here and wash the sheets for me!
They've finished the hammering!
Hey, not there! Not there!
Not lift! Lift is for people
Take the bags up the stairs and don't make a mess
Come on, look lively
Look at the state he's leaving the hall in
This guy's an idiot
Boy! Take the bags out, damn it
Come out of there, take the bags out, take the stairs I said!
This way, damn in! Go this way!
Moron! Now I'm gonna have to get the other bags out
Fucking brilliant! Oh, for fuck's sake!
The building work can't be stopped. It can't be stopped!
I already tried but it can't be done!
This is unbearable, seriously!
My hair's starting to fall out from all this stress
Everything's filthy
Well, I've been cleaning but they're a bunch of pigs
But don't they have to warn us in advance?
Well nobody's come and told us anything
Because this man is very bad at his job
Hey, my husband does more than enough, ok?
He doesn't get paid a dime for all this!
We'll have to take a look at the accounts
This is impossible for anyone! It's 7 o'clock and they're still at it
Legally, they can carry on working until 9 in the evening
Yeah, but they start at 8. They spend all day up there hammering
Well, it's very bad to get hammered at work
Just a little joke, to break the tension
Funny guy!
Well, we had our house broken into by burglars because the hall is open all day long!
And it's all filthy
Yes Doña Vicenta, yes, yes, I heard you the first time
Well I don't know what the solution is but something's got to be done
I understand that it's annoying for everyone.
For me as well. But they promised me they were just about to finish
Mind yourself son
Excuse me, do you have much left to do?
They don't speak Spanish, you know
Some President we've got!
Alicia! Stealing letters is a criminal offense you know!
I'm gonna put it back
Later I'll take it down to their flat and say it got put in our letterbox by mistake
How embarrassing, the thing with the salt is getting worse by the minute
Get it out, get it out!
Right, let's go!
Sorry, I think that's our letterbox
And our letter. Look. My name.
You see! That's why the key wouldn't open it
Because it's not our letterbox
You're so dumb, come on!
What's the deal with those 2?
How should I know?
Yeah, what would you know? You never know what's going on
Ladies, congratulations on your choice! This alarm system consists of 3 movement sensors
situated number 1 in the living room, number 2 in the kitchen, and 3 in the bedroom
Now you need to insert a secret code made up of 4 digits
that you must never reveal to anybody under any circumstances
What shall we put in?
The one from the credit card, 4547
Quiet! Put in whatever you want and tell me afterwards
Look that way!
That's it
I repeat. You must never tell your code to anyone!
Now I'll explain how it functions. It's very simple
To activate the system and make it operative in your home, you need to….
That's all
Did you get that?
Congratulations!
Have you got heartburn again?
All the neighbours really got the hump with me about it
I don't know. I don't get it
How is it my fault if them upstairs start doing building work?
All I say is that with your attitude, you're gonna have the whole lot of them walking all over you
What attitude?
Look, who's in charge here?
You
No, in the building!
Oh! Me, me
Well, impose yourself!
I bet those 2 upstairs are doing something illegal
Weren't they knocking down a wall?
Yeah
Well, that's a supporting wall
How do you know?
What does it matter how I know? You say it's a supporting wall!
Of course! That means they'll need an architect to approve the project
Well, there you go. I'm sure she wants to change the windows
And they want to shut off the balcony!
Modifications to communal areas
Tomorrow, you go upstairs and get a good look at what they're doing
They still haven't learnt who the Cuestas are!
But they're gonna learn!
Marisa! Marisa! You've fallen asleep!
No I haven't! I'm watching TV
Come on, let's go to bed because we need to set the alarm
Oh fuck, here we go
Let's see how this works
Code
Area
Now what?
Now we've got 10 seconds to leave the living room
OK, run into the bedroom then, go on
Yeah, let's go
Don't push though!
Ok, alright
Oh wait!
My glass of milk
Leave it, there's no time!
No, no, there is time!
Otherwise I won't get any sleep!
No there isn't. Run, run!
Someone's come in!
It was you!
What did I tell you?
This takes the biscuit! Now they're installing alarms without my approval
What now, for god's sake!
The phone!
Who's this now?
Emilio!
Yes, what is it?
What's that?
What's what?
That racket downstairs!
It's the young ladies Señor Cuesta, they’ve put in an alarm
Come on then, go upstairs and see what's going on
Yes, yes, I'm on my way, Señor Juan, I'm on my way
You go up yourself with that sister of yours from Alcala de Henares, moron!
Calling me up at 2 in the morning!
The paper, take the paper!
Fuck, what's going on now?
It's an alarm
I'll go see what's happening
No, don't go!
Relax, nothing bad's gonna happen to me
Go back to sleep!
I can't like this!
Put the code in please
I already put it in but I don't know where I pressed it
I'll go and ask for help
No, leave it! Leave it!
They'll be sleeping!
How can they be sleeping when it sounds like we're being bombed?
Are you alright? Has something happened?
Yeah, I don't what she's done to the alarm
Come in, come in. Would you like a drink?
No. Tell me the code
No, no, no, no, no. It's secret. We can't tell anyone what it is
But Señora, I'm your neighbour!
Vicenta, tell him for God's sake!
What's going on? Who broke in?
Him?
I came here to help!
So you put in an alarm and don't inform me!
just who we needed
But why haven't you deactivated it?
Because they won't tell me the code
Vicenta, tell us what it is! Afterwards you can change it and problem solved!
No. This code is easy to remember because it's my date of birth
And how old are you?
65
Why?
What a relief!
How did you do it?
Ok, come on, it's alright now, let's all get off to bed now
Good night
Some security!
anyone can deactivate it!
Come on, let's get to bed, let's get to bed
So, is that clear?
Yes
I'll touch my forehead like this
And I'll say my line
Yes, but what's your line?
You're making a lot of mess in the building
Come on, you need to seem angry as if you were annoyed about it!
But I am annoyed about it!
Ok, let's see, I touch my forehead
And what do you say?
You're making a lot of mess in the building
Good, better, better
Come on, let's keep rehearsing
I touch my forehead and what do you say?
You're making a lot of mess in the building
There! That's it!
Señor Cuesta, you know I used to do acting as a child
Why did you give it up?
Because my mum said acting was for gays
Look, listen, stop painting, please!
My girlfriend doesn't like this colour
it's horrible!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're still painting!
Plus, you're ruining the floor. Move the plastic a bit, come on!
Hello
Well, well, well! Juan Cuesta!
President of the Community
In person
I'm here to inform you that we've noted certain irregularities in this building work
And it's the wish of all the community that you put a stop to the work immediately!
I agree
Now you go and tell that to him please
You're causing a lot of problems
And you're making a lot of mess in the building
You're right Emilio
Really! You here again!
What do you want?
Why did you let him in?
I was telling your boyfriend that you've knocked down a supporting wall
A supporting wall! A supporting wall! What are you going on about?
And for that, you need plans and the signature of an architect
Well Roberto's an architect!
Huh?
Oh...ok, ok, what I was gonna say….
And you're making a lot of mess in the building
Oh come on! What a pain you're being about the building!
They'll clean it when they finish
Yeah, and also, you're going to change the windows
Well yeah, we're going to change the windows. So what?
That's a modification to the communal areas
One of the neighbours could become upset about it and report you
Are you threatening us?
No, no, no, no, no
Just as well. Because otherwise, I'll be reporting 2b for the TV antenna
1b for the air conditioning
And 1a for hanging flower pots outside the balcony
And the community because the fire extinguishers haven't passed the last 5 checks
And that lift doesn't have a single safety feature
Well, there's no need for you to take it like that
What we're discussing now is…
And you're making a lot of mess in the building
Give it a rest now, Emilio, would you!
Well, stop touching your forehead!
And this man is living in a communal area
that according to the building plans is a room for the rubbish
I live in a room for the rubbish?
So I can call the council
they'll carry out a check, and this time tomorrow this man will be out on the street
Señor Juan, they wanna kick me out
Hang on a second
Listen sweetheart, I don't think...
No, no, no, if we're gonna tell things like they are let's tell things like they are
In light of your attitude, I have no alternative but to convene an emergency neighbours' meeting
Fine
Goodbye
Listen, don't kick me out, please
Maybe to you it's a room for rubbish but I've grown fond of it, damn it
Emilio!
Coming! Coming!
Show a bit of kindness from one human being to another
Bitch!
Oh, come on! Why are you letting him paint the wall that colour?
What did I say?
There it is
But what's happened? What's happened?
What's happened? All hell's gonna break loose
The new neighours are gonna report all of us
Us? What for?
You two, for the geraniums you've got hanging from the balcony
See, I told you not to take them from the park!
But nobody saw me!
No, it's because they're hanging outside the balcony and that's not allowed
Because the flower pots could fall and crack open someone's head
Yeah but if they hang inside, no-one can see them
Yeah and they're gonna take away his antenna
Why me?
You see! I told you, you needed to apply for permission to install it
And they wanna kick me out of the front room because they say this is a room for the rubbish
But no-one cares about that!
And you two, the air conditioning
What?
Yeah, yeah, the air conditioning
You've got it positioned under the window and that's strictly forbidden
Hold on, who wants to take it away?
The new neighbours
They can get their own one!
But what have we done to them to make them want to report us all?
The President of the Community got nasty with them
And wants to stop their building work
So she got pissed off, and snobs when they get pissed off apparently get like this
Well, I'm not taking down my geraniums
If I have to go to jail, I'll go to jail
And I'll go with you
Yeah but that's not all
They say the building's in ruins
And they're gonna call an inspector
and you're gonna be stuck paying bills until Spain win the Eurovision song contest again
How about that then?
Hey you, lawyer, could that happen?
Spain win the Eurovision song contest? Well, it's difficult...
No, no, not that!
That they report us and we have to keep paying all those bills!
Well, yes, if they're serious about it, they can get us in a lot of trouble
Good afternoon
Alicia, are you gonna tell me what I'm doing here?
Make a fool of yourself on your own!
The shirt I threw down is yours
Hi
Sorry, we were hanging out the washing and Belen dropped a shirt on your line
Yes, I dropped it
Sure
This one, right?
Yeah, that's the one
As I didn't know whose it was, I was gonna take it down to the caretaker
No, not the caretaker. He'd keep it
Right well...
Well, that's all
One day the four of us could meet for a drink
Yeah, alright, any time
Tonight?
Tomorrow?
Is 10 o'clock alright?
At 10...err yeah
At your house?
No, here would be better, don't you think?
Ok
Tell your friend, then, ok?
Mauri?
Yeah, yeah, I'll tell him
He’ll be thrilled
What? But why did you arrange to meet them?
What did you want me to do?
I couldn't think of an excuse
Well there are some very good excuses
Like the fact you're gay, you've got a boyfriend
you're in a steady relationship
But it's fine, we'll meet them, chat for a while, have a drink, and be friends
No, no, no. Count me out!
As if I've got nothing better to do than pretend to be straight at my age
But what's the problem? Can't I have female friends or what?
Sure you can! If they're lesbians
What's so funny? What are you laughing about?
It's so ridiculous that it makes me laugh
Oh, yeah? You know what I reckon. I reckon you like her
Don't talk rubbish, Mauri!
Yeah! You wanna see what it feels like to sleep with a woman
I've slept with a woman before!
Don't remind me! Please, I don't need to be reminded
You know what? Oh, shit, wrong food
If you wanna throw a 5-year relationship down the drain, go ahead
Do it! On your head be it
Isn't it 3 years?
Just 3?
How they've dragged!
You know what, Fernando
I'm leaving
Where?
Haven’t the faintest idea but I'm leaving
Mauri!
Sweetheart, are you really gonna report half the neighbours in the building?
Of course not. Why?
Because we're not gonna get out of here alive
Relax. I just wanted to give them a fright
Yeah, but you've given me a fright
The news must have spread cos I ran into them in the hall and if looks could kill...
Yeah, well what did you want me to do?
It's that guy downstairs, he's doing my head in
Well, I don't know but at least run it by me
Maybe, I don't wanna have to live with all the neighbours fighting me
I've already got enough with the building work!
Ok! You seem a bit tense
Tense? No, not at all. I didn't slit my veins because I couldn't find the razor
I wanna unwind a bit too
Don't be mad
Look Señora, I can't come here to deactivate the alarm every night
Come on, really! I've got the kids asleep, you know
Between this and the building work, nobody's getting any sleep round here
It wasn't us this time! We were in the bedroom, weren't we?
I don't even know where I am anymore, I'm so sleepy
Who was it then?
Vicenta, if you leave the dog loose, the alarm will go off
But why's that?
Valentin's not a burglar!
No but he moves
And that's a movement sensor!
You see, it's not a camera! And you were saying hello every time you walked by
Juan, this can't carry on like this!
Look, if you don't know how to use the alarm, don't activate it!
What do you mean don't activate it?
What if they come for us?
Nobody's come for you since 1968 for God's sake
Right, let's go, let's go, everyone back to bed
But look, she's activating it again!
Of course. We're going to bed
Come on, out, out! We've only got 10 seconds
You, come on, get the dog
Come on, Valentin, Valentin
Ladies, for God's sake!
That alarm! Some of us have to get up early
Hi!
We're here now
Sorry we're late, you caught us without our skates!
Come in
I brought you this bottle of whisky
Oh, great, thanks very much
I'll pour you some now, ok?
I prefer wine
Take a seat
What a lovely place
Very nice
Mauri's gone upstairs for the neighbours' meeting
He can't come
But it's fine, the three of us can have a drink
Yeah, yeah, that's fine
When this feeling of humiliation goes away, I'm sure I'll have a great time
You've noticed, right?
Yeah, pathetic
Even the guys I don't like ignore me, Alicia
No! Fernando's told Mauri to go out so we can be alone
Go! Go!
What do you mean go?
But what do you want? To stay here like the third wheel?
Same as always. When you start to get down to it, I can watch TV
No, go!
That's what we always do
Oh, thanks! Thanks!
The wine!
Yeah
And some crisps or something
Are you all ok? Do you need anything?
An ashtray
Oh no, not that because you can't smoke here
Fucking Europe! Now you can't even smoke in a neighbours' meeting
Sorry
We'll start right away
But help yourselves to canapés
Eat! They're there to be eaten, not looked at
They're delicious, ok
I'll be right back
What kind of canapés?
With tinned baloney
Who cares? They're lovely. She's put butter in and everything
Take one, go on!
I'm not hungry!
Ok, ok, wow, you could cut the air with a knife in here today
Ok, let's see, I've crunched some numbers
If they do an inspection and we have to fix the lift
the staircase, the paintwork, the cracks, the fire extinguishers and change the boiler
it'll cost us about 18 thousand Euros
3 million pesetas
Oh well that's not that much between all of us
No, 3 million pesetas per flat
Oh my God, what are you saying?
But how are we gonna pay that?
I'd rather the ceiling collapsed and killed us all
It's all the fault of that moron of a president that we've got
What about you then? Haven't you got anything to say?
Yes. I'm leaving.
But how can you leave?
Hey, where are you going? We're still got to vote
there's always a traitor
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
If you show up now, it's gonna look like you're jealous
And you're not jealous Mauri!
Let him do what he wants
But it's my house too
And I can come and go whenever I want
Right
No, it's too early
No, I'm gonna go in.
It sounds good when you say you're a lawyer
In the beginning you think you're gonna make the world right
The world's shit!
I haven't got a job
And she hasn't got one either
I'm not even on speaking terms with my parents
And men...you men are so immature...
Hey, look, Belen's gonna have to go
she's not feeling well, she told me before
right, well, that's it then
ok, let's meet up another day
No! She's not that bad
Stay a bit longer girl!
I'm here now
Sorry for the delay but...
I ran into my ex-girlfriend and she made a terrible scene
No!
You heard right
She got upset and tried to slit her veins with her oyster card
Very nasty business
Weren't you at the meeting?
No, not me
We thought you weren't coming
Well here I am!
Belen hasn't stopped asking after you
Well, I did ask a few things
That's it, don't be shy girl
Right, well I'll pour myself a drink
Yeah
You'll be wanting more ice, right?
I do
Is he putting ice in wine?
We're all very uptight
Since when do you like whisky?
Since you started liking women
you'll see, now you'll see what a great time we're gonna have
Have they all come?
The new ones are missing
They're afraid
They've seen that all the neighbours are behind me and they've backed down
I didn't want things to come to this
You know that Paloma
Yes
But they left me no choice
Yes sweetheart
Go out and get them! Courage!
Bravo my President! How handsome you look!
Good evening
Welcome everyone
Let's commence this emergency meeting
The new ones aren't here
Yes but there are enough homeowners here to make the vote legitimate
so let's start
switch off your mobile phones and don't smoke
to have the floor, raise your hand
and to call names, raise your hand too
meeting agenda
First point
Vote for
Good evening
Sorry we're late
Hello, good evening
Good evening
That girl always looks so nice
I resume
First point
Vote to apply an injunction formally requesting the owner of property 3A
to halt the disturbing, unsanitary and dangerous activity being carried out in their property
which prevents the ordinary functioning of coexistence in our community
Hang on, aren't we here to talk about the building work?
Well, that's what he said
That we're all gonna vote to stop the building work
Your husband sucks at explaining
He does it on purpose so we don't understand him
here we go
Dear neighbours, as you know, we've had some new neighbours here for a week now
who've decided to challenge this community
Without informing anyone, they began renovation building works that disturb us all
and put the safety of the building in jeopardy
That's a lie!
Come on, show a bit of respect, the President's speaking
With the book of property law in my hand, I tell you that
if we vote to stop the building works, the building works stop!
Either that or we take it to court!
So let's take a vote
Emilio, you count the votes
Yes President
Votes in favour of stopping the building works
1
Errm...let's see, I don't think you understood me clearly
I said, votes IN FAVOUR, in favour, got that?
of stopping the building works, raise your hand
1, 1
Yeah, yeah, I can see that
Come on, you all complained. Aren't any of you going to raise your hands?
Ok, Vicenta, thank you
2 votes in favour
No, no, where's the toilet?
The toilet's through there, at the end on the right
Just in case, you feel like going
Thanks
Ok, let's see. Votes against
I've got 2 votes, remember
1, 2, 3, everyone
Well, I don't get it at all
Can someone tell me what's going on here?
Poor couple, it's not like it's such a disturbance
I've already got used to the noise
I haven't, but nobody's laying a finger on my antenna!
Ah, so you sold yourself out then?
You gave in to the blackmail and the threats of that woman
What a disgrace! It's outrageous!
What's outrageous is that you're attaching so much importance to our building work
When what seems much more serious to me is the state of the building
Or the bad management of the community!
Yes, well that's all very well but it sounds like preaching to the masses because
it doesn't feature in the meeting agenda!
The girl's right!
The stairs are terrible, the other day I almost fell and broke my neck on them
And the intercom gives me electric shocks
They already told us the electrical installation needed to be changed
If a fire breaks out in the building one of these days, we'll all be burnt to death!
they'll have to use our teeth to identify our bodies
She doesn't have any
Well, look, we've spoken about that before and it's true that things need to be done
But the problem is there's no money at the moment
Well where's it gone?
On the new car they've bought!
Listen to yourself Señora!
Hold on a second, are you casting doubt on my honesty?
I'd say so
Yeah, they're casting doubt, they're casting doubt!
Why don't we hire a steward?
Like everyone else does
Maybe you haven't been keeping the accounts well
Thief!
Come on, Mum!
In all my 12 years as President, I've never heard anything like it
12 years?
12 years!
But don't you elect a President every year here?
Yes, yes
But it's always him
My husband is the only one who volunteers himself every year
Oh well, I volunteer myself
Great, yeah!
Maybe what the community needs is a change
May it stand for the record that I have no intention of resigning!
I truly believe that my work...
Quit Señor Cuesta! Quit!
But how can we vote in this girl when we don't know anything about her?
If you fix the stairs, I'll vote for you!
Well, me too, as long as you leave my antenna where it is
No, but what we need to do is put one on the roof for everyone
which is cheaper
And I can call my dad's company and they'll paint the building for us
for half the price
Order! Order!
The meeting's adjourned
Why aren't we staying to vote for the girl?
Because it doesn't feature in the meeting agenda
Come on, the meeting's adjourned
What about questions and answers?
There's no question and no answers!
But there's always questions and answers!
Everybody out!
Your pilfering is over!
Yeah, yeah, it's over, come on now!
Pilfering!
Don't worry about a thing, Juan!
Don't worry about a thing!
Well, that went well, right Mr President?
Fernando's problem with women is he's really shy
You know, really insecure
He doesn't really know what he wants. Right?
Can we stop talking about me please?
No, I'm the same
But it's because I still haven't found the mr right
But she looks for him! Every day!
Yeah, you see, Fernando doesn't put his heart into it
You know, he hears the word commitment and makes a run for it
And the man, I fear he's gonna end up very lonely
Are you with someone at the moment?
Sort of
Yeah, sort of!
What we don't know is how long it's gonna last
Yeah because she's starting to drag me down a bit
Oh, those are the worst kind!
They always leave Belen for that
I'm gonna pour myself a drink so I don't have any free hands
Fernando, if she's dragging you down, it's best if you leave her
Hey, it's not as easy as that, you know
she's a great girl
you're just telling them one side of it, you know
Yeah but Mauri, I don't think they're interested in my private life
Yeah, of course we're interested! Right?
Well, since it's come to this, I have no choice but to tell you
That we've run out of ice
we've got some at home
let's go get ice
You know, it's kinda late, I've got work tomorrow
But they've got ice, come on, the night's young
Well
Turn down that music!
It's my landlady
Let's take the lift
No, wait. Why should we go upstairs for ice?
Let's ask these two. They've got everything
No! It's after midnight!
Who calls round at this time of night?
Vicenta, be careful with the alarm
Run, run!
See! I put in the numbers and it doesn't go off
That man put it in wrong
Leave it to me
Right! To bed!
You'd better not have broken it!
It seems to be taking them a while
Yeah
You'll never guess what I'm gonna tell you
Look, look Alicia
I've had a great time
I think you're an amazing girl!
But I'm not looking for anything right now
I'm going through a bit of a difficult phase in my personal life
So I think it's best if we just stay friends
Oh, no, I was gonna say that I'm in this magazine
Advertising muesli bars
The energy ones?
Yeah
they're really nice
I don't like them
Hey, listen, I'm gonna head upstairs coz you'll be wanting to get to bed
Yeah, right
Well, it's been great
We can get together again sometime
Yeah, you already said that before
Right
Surprise! We've got a bottle of tequila and Georgie Dann's Greatest Hits
Sorry, I didn't have a chance to hide it
Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. Don't make too much noise please
Well, I'm gonna head off too, I'm pretty tired. Bye
But what is this CD? A sex tape or something?
It's the first time she's ever gone to bed before me
We'll have to celebrate it
El chiringuito! El chiringuito!
Have you got lemon for the margaritas?
No, but we can ask the neighbours for some
No Mauri! Mauri!
What's wrong with Dad?
Nothing, sweetheart. He's just a bit upset
He's had a bad day
Shall we push him off to put an end to his suffering?
Don't be silly
Come on, to bed, back to bed! Go on, both of you!
Juan, do you need anything?
I made a fool of myself
No darling, come on, let's go to bed
They've lost respect for me, Paloma
No they haven't
Yes they have
Apart from your kids, everyone has great respect for you here
I like being President
And you're gonna carry on being President
Yeah but how?
I'll take care of it
Don't you worry
Really? What are you gonna do?
Well, you don't know what I'm capable of doing for love
You love me, right Paloma?
Of course I love you. I worship you. You're the man of my dreams
And I adore you and I want you
You've got no idea about all the strategies I've thought of
for you to carry on being President and me first lady
Well I liked having an alarm
I felt protected
Well from now on, if you wanna feel protected, you can put a tampon on
What if the burglars break in?
Let them kill us but in silence
Hey, I was reading!
Can I come in?
Well, actually I was reading this, you know
Belen, I'm smitten
Look, tomorrow we'll go out, you can pull another guy and problem solved
you'll forget him, easy
maybe I shouldn't have kissed him
You kissed him?
And did he kiss you back?
Not yet
Oh, right
I reckon he needs time
Yeah, I think so, time, yeah, that's what it'll be
Right then, see you tomorrow
Have you seen the way he smiles?
He's so handsome
Yeah, handsome. You're into him, aren't you?
Yeah
Hey, how was the meeting? What happened?
What happened!
They wanted to make me President
It's only natural, they can see I've got brains
And what did you say?
What could I say? No!
They don't pay you a dime
Hey, what was I gonna say to you
Why don't you put a slot machine or some arcades or something in here? I dunno
No, this is a video store
Well then, I dunno. Give me a film
First, you need to join. Plus, I'm about to close, Emilio
But what kind of video club is this anyway? All the cases are empty
I've got the tapes back there so they don't get nicked
That's a cover for you to make pirate copies
Please, leave me alone for a minute, I've got to do the till, seriously
Alright, there's no need to get like that!
I'm giving you some friendly advice
Because I can see this video store is dead
I've been here two hours and nobody's come in
What do you mean nobody's come in? Loads of people have come in
Listen, don't fool yourself, Paquito
I've been here two hours and not a soul's come through that door
And that's because this place is lacking a bit of life
A pool table over here, some arcades over there
I dunno, something
Yeah, like a swimming pool and beach umbrellas
Ok, ok, alright, not a swimming pool. But whatever you want
Hey, what was I gonna say to you?
Where do you keep the porno films?