翻译 Netflix 校对 TheOldJoe 特效 小布 后期&压制 Jason肖
安娜·托德
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干嘛 妈 我已经睡着了 What? Mom, I'm fast asleep!
你看着不像睡着了 You don't look like you're asleep.
帕克斯顿 Paxton?
你来干嘛 What are you doing here?
我在履行我的诺言 I'm doing exactly what I said I'd do.
我是来和你上床的 I'm here to have sex with you.
你穿这件宽大的上衣真好看 Your body looks so good in that over-sized t-shirt.
这是… And is that...
去屑洗发水的味道 dandruff shampoo.
ZIMUXIA.CN
关注新浪微博 @FIX字幕侠
等等 这是梦 对吗 Wait. This is a dream, isn't it?
听着 如果是有人在做梦 那一定是我 Look, if anyone here is dreaming, it's me.
看看你 你既有朴雅卡·乔普拉[印度演员]的美貌… I mean, look at you. You have the beauty of Priyanka Chopra,
又有金斯伯格[最高法院大法官]敏锐的头脑 with the incisive intellect of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
各位 这当然是个梦 Yeah, of course it was a dream, people.
你不会觉得她这么容易就得逞了吧 You didn't think it'd be that easy for her, did you?
好想做一次 第一季 第２集
...和帕克斯顿·霍尔吉田上床
从头到尾 帕克斯顿都在称赞我 And the whole time, Paxton kept complimenting me
说他有多尊重我这些的 and telling me how much he respected me and stuff.
你觉得这是什么意思 What do you think that means?
德维 你的医生和妈妈之所以让我当你的心理医生 Devi, the reason I was enlisted by your doctors and your mother
是想让你深入回顾过去一年 is to delve into some of the major events
发生的一些大事 that have happened in your life over this last year.
我们已经聊了几个月了 Now, we've been seeing each other for months,
你还是不愿意谈论你爸爸 and you still don't want to talk about your father.
有什么可说的 What's there to talk about?
他死了 我很难过 He's dead. It made me sad.
现在我想聊聊可能在这礼拜发生的大事 Now I want to talk about a major event that could happen this week!
我要破处了 医生 Popping my cherry, Doc.
我的天 Oh, lord.
几率显示我不太可能把自己的第一次 The statistical odds that I would lose my virginity
交给那么性感的人 to somebody that hot are incredibly low.
我和法比奥拉算过了 I ran the numbers with Fabiola.
比我被流星砸中的几率还低 I have a better chance of being hit by a meteor.
我知道 我收到你的电子表格了 I know. I got your Excel spreadsheet.
我们什么时候都能谈论我去世的爸爸 We could talk about my dead dad any time.
我现在处于非常特殊的阶段 I'm in a very specific window right now.
我准备好干了 I'm ready to bone.
如果你做好准备了 If you were ready to bone,
你就不会说"准备好干了"这种话 you wouldn't use the phrase "ready to bone."
这个男生到底有什么特别呢 And what's so special about this boy, anyway?
看这个 This.
-你可以滑动看看 -我不会滑的 -You can scroll. -I'm not gonna scroll.
相信我 滑 Trust me. Scroll.
我不… 靠 I'm not... Damn!
这孩子是吃生长激素了吗 Is this kid on HGH?
我就说 对吧 I know, right?
我明白你的意思了 Point made.
但他依旧是一个有情绪有烦恼的人 But he is still a person with feelings and problems.
性感的人才不会有什么烦恼呢 Hot people don't have problems.
我见过你门口等候室里的人 I mean, I've seen the people in your waiting room.
没有冒犯的意思 但他们都丑爆了 No offense, but they're mostly uggos.
我被冒犯到了 Uh, I do take offense to that.
先不管帕克斯顿 Look, forget about Paxton.
在你现在的心理状态下 In your current mental state,
把自己的第一次给几乎不认识的人 losing your virginity to someone you barely know
一个可能完全不关心你的人 and who probably doesn't care about you
是一个你全力支持的好主意 对吗 Is a great idea that you fully support?
你知道我不是要说这个 You know that's not where I was going with that.
想得美 Nice try.
德维 我知道你生气了 Devi, I know you're upset.
我做错了 对不起 我不期待你就这么原谅我 And I wronged you, and I'm sorry, and I don't expect you to just forgive me,
所以我一整晚都没睡 给你做了个影集 so I stayed up all night, and I made a photo montage
记录我们的友谊 配乐是约翰·传奇的"我的一切" of our entire friendship set to John Legend's "All of Me."
没关系 我原谅你了 It's all good. I forgive you.
好吧 如果你想看的话 我还是想放一下 Okay, well, with your permission, I'd still like to play it.
-我花了很长时间… -没事了 -It took a long time, and... -We're good.
我为你和奥利弗感到开心 I'm happy for you and Oliver.
太好了 Oh, great.
埃尔和我决定不会再瞒着你事情了 El and I agreed, we won't keep any more secrets from you,
哪怕真相会让你又坐回轮椅 even if the harsh truth puts you in a wheelchair once again.
这不会发生 不过还是谢谢你们的关心 Well, that's not gonna happen, but I appreciate the sentiment.
嘿 法布 Hey, Fab.
我喜欢你的牛仔连身裤 I like your denim overalls.
法布 什么情况 好性感啊 Fab, what was that? That was so sexy.
你约了亚历克斯·戈麦斯 Did you ask out Alex Gomez?
我执行了你的男朋友计划 I followed through on your boyfriends plans,
所以没错 亚历克斯和我这周末要去百客美 so, yes, Alex and I are going to Wetzel's Pretzels this weekend.
你和乔纳呢 你约他了吗 What about you and Jonah? Did you ask him out yet?
我听说他在丝芙兰工作 还很喜欢给别人化妆 I heard he works at Sephora and loves giving makeovers.
实际上 我在和别人约会 Actually, I've been talking to someone else.
帕克斯顿·霍尔吉田 听过他吗 Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Ever heard of him?
德维向她的朋友们讲述了她和帕克斯顿的谈话 Devi told her friends about her interaction with Paxton,
但她在准确性上打了点折扣 but let's just say she wouldn't get points for accuracy.
当时超奇怪 Yeah, it was so weird.
我在想自己的事 I was just minding my own business,
帕克斯顿就突然把我拉到一边 说... and then Paxton literally pulls me aside, and is like...
"嘿 你是德维 对不对 "Hey, you're Devi, right?
我觉得你很酷 又聪慧过人 I think you're super cool and whip-smart.
如果你愿意的话 And if you're down with it,
我想进一步了解你" I want to get to know you better."
然后我说… 好吧 行 And I was like... Yeah. I mean, sure.
我想可以的 I guess that could be cool.
太好了 Yes!
他说"聪慧过人" He said "whip-smart"?
-他肯定没说 -他说了 - He absolutely did not. - Yeah, he did.
所以如果一切顺利 我可能会和帕克斯顿交往 So if things go well, I might start dating Paxton or something.
再看看情况吧 I guess we'll have to see.
法布 你在听吗 Fab, are you paying attention?
有 有人在和帕克斯顿约会 Yep. Someone's dating Paxton.
是我 法布 集中注意力 Me. Fab, pay attention.
我要在上课见到他前 去给鼻子打点高光 Anyways, I'm gonna go contour my nose before he sees me in class.
一会见 Later.
德维大摇大摆地走了 Devi strode off,
她深信她的朋友们相信了她的鬼话 confident her friends had believed this bullshit story.
法比奥拉和埃莉诺认为 Fabiola and Eleanor were confident
她们的朋友已经彻底疯了 their friend had become completely unhinged.
娜里妮阿姨 Nalini maami?
不用给我找穿的纱丽了 No need to find me a sari to wear.
我挑了合适的衣服和普拉桑特的家人视频通话 I've selected a killer outfit for my video call with Prashant's family.
好啊 是哪套 Okay. What is it?
我穿着呢 I'm in it.
这套 牛仔裤配西装上衣 That? That jeans and blazer?
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
"今日秀"的时尚环节 A fashion segment on The Today Show
说这是融合了职业和休闲的穿法 said it was a fun way to mix professional and casual.
没错 你看着就是事业心很强的西方女性 Yes, you look like a careerist western woman,
显你本来如此 which you obviously are,
但是他们不需要知道这些… 至少现在不要 but they don't need to know that... yet.
卡玛拉 他的家人想要看到 Kamala, his family wants to see
你会做饭 会打扫 能满足他儿子的需求 that you can cook, clean, and cater to their son's needs.
他们基本上想他娶他妈妈 They basically want him to marry his own mother.
听起来很困惑 That sounds sexually confusing.
是啊 但这只是到结婚之前 It is, but this is just the wedding dance.
结了婚以后 你们搬到美国 After you get married, you move to the United States,
你们想怎样就怎样 you can do whatever you want.
-你没事吧 -没事 没事 - Are you okay? - Okay, okay, okay, yeah.
我都不知道这辆破车是拿来干什么的 车是莫汉的 I don't even know why we have this stupid bike. It was Mohan's.
我一直很讨厌它 I always hated it.
你觉得我的新摩托怎么样 So, what do you think of my new hog?
你有病吧 What is wrong with you?
我明确告诉你去买一辆中等价位的轿车 I gave you strict instructions to buy a moderately-priced sedan.
你是这么说的 但我收到了来自加利福尼亚的… You did, but I received other instructions...
召唤 from California.
-什么 -拜托 亲爱的 -What? -Come on, my love.
我们已经有了你这辆车 We already have your car,
这辆就是我们的享受生活的坐骑... and this will be our fun ride...
约会专用 for date nights.
约会用 For date night?
我是凯特·哈德森[女演员]吗 Who am I, Kate Hudson?
是的 我是你的马修·麦康那啥 Yes, and I am your Matthew McConnicky!
你可以卖了它 You could sell it,
我们也许可以用这笔钱时不时开开空调 and maybe we could put the money toward turning the AC on every once in a while.
开空调 Turn on the AC?
西伯利亚人巴不得像我们一样热 There are people in Siberia who'd kill to be this hot.
不过是的 也许我应该卖了这辆车 But yes, perhaps I should sell this bike.
午饭时间 德维直奔帕克斯顿一定会在的地方 At lunch, Devi beelined it to where she knew Paxton would be,
学校里最吓人的地方 the most intimidating place at school...
帅哥角 the Hot Pocket.
那是全校最帅的男生吃午餐的地方 It was where all the best-looking guys in school ate lunch.
有马库斯·琼斯 埃迪·谭 We're talking Marcus Jones. We're talking Eddie Tan.
还有特伦特·哈里森啊 Hell, we're talking Trent Harrison.
但是德维很有决心 But Devi was determined.
所以她鼓起勇气 走上前去… So she swallowed her nerves and walked right in...
靠 Goddamn it!
却立刻被一根小绳子打在脸上 where she instantly got hit in the face with a lanyard.
-我打到你了吗 -没关系 -Did I just hit you? -It's cool.
帕克斯顿 我能跟你说句话吗 Hey, Paxton, can I talk to you?
行 Okay.
我想继续我们那天说过的事情 So I thought I would follow up on our conversation from the other day
看你愿不愿意过会一起出去 and ask if you wanted to hang out later?
你是说上床吗 Oh, oh, you mean, uh, like, have sex?
当然要不... 今天放学来我家 Sure, uh, maybe... after school today at my place?
-今天 -是啊 - Today? - Yeah.
这么快 很好 That's super soon, which is great.
快点也好 只是… Soon is great. It's just...
我今天放学有管弦乐队排练 所以不行 I have orchestra after school today, so I can't.
要不这周晚些时候 But maybe later this week?
我不知道 也许可以 I don't know. Maybe.
好 太好了 Okay, great.
我们明天对下日程之类的 We'll compare calendars tomorrow or something.
我们会找到时间的 晚点见 滑板少年 We'll figure it out. Later, skater.
什么 What?
大家好 音乐家们 Greetings, musicians.
希望你们的暑假没有过得像快板一样快 I hope your summer didn't go by too allegro.
算了 Forget it.
欢迎德维回来 我们的明星竖琴家 I'd like to welcome back Devi V, our star harpist.
大家都知道 德维去年过得很难 As you all know, Devi had a really bad year.
考虑到音乐会上发生的事 我们都是 We all did, considering what we had to witness at the spring concert.
你们都记得 没必要... You remember what it was. No need to...
明说了 spell it out.
德维的爸爸…去世了 When Devi's dad... died.
无论如何 欢迎回来 德维 开始演奏吧 Anyway, welcome back, Devi! Let's jam.
陈老师 这里闻着有一股屎味 Mr. Chan, it smells like shit over here.
什么 才没有 What? No, it doesn't.
就有 Yeah, it does.
闻着像这房间里真的有屎一样 It smells like there is actual shit in this room.
没有 这里在暑假期间已经清理过了 There's not. The room was cleaned over the summer.
好吧 那些通风道呢 Okay. Well, what about those vents?
暑假有清理那里吗 Did they clean those vents over the summer?
那里也有可能有屎啊 你又不知道 There could be shit up there. You don't know.
埃里克 够了 我们要开始演奏了 Eric, enough. We're playing.
弦乐 开始 Strings, lead us in.
陈老师 我这样没法演奏 Mr. Chan, I can't play like this!
你过来闻闻 然后再说一遍这里没屎 You come over here and sniff, and tell me there's not shit nearby.
-该死 埃里克 -怎么了 - Goddamn it, Eric! - What?
我要吐在我的大号里了 I'm gonna barf in my tuba.
帕克斯顿 Paxton!
我可以去你家了 我把其他事情排开了 Hey. I can actually come now. That scheduling conflict I had cleared up.
-好 进来吧 -好 -Cool. Get in. -Okay.
我靠 Holy shit.
反转啊 Twist.
站在帕克斯顿的车库里 Being inside Paxton's garage
就像在近距离观察他的内心 was like getting an intimate window into his mind.
哇 帕克斯顿会说日语 Whoa, Paxton speaks Japanese?
他的姓这下解释得通了 Guess his last name makes more sense now.
拜 Bye.
不好意思 是我爷爷 Sorry. That was my grandpa.
你喝点什么吗 Can I get you a drink?
好 你有巧克力… Sure. Do you have any chocolate...
啤酒 你真懂我 Beer. You read my mind.
好了 我妈马上要回来了 我们直奔主题吧 All right. Well, my mom will be home soon, so... better get to it.
提个醒 我为了游泳把胸毛刮了 Just so you know, I have to shave my chest for swimming,
所以毛茬可能会扎到你的皮肤 so the stubble might, like, irritate your skin a little bit.
天啊 Oh, god.
你知道吗 我刚想起来 我得回家 You know what? I just remembered. I have to go home,
因为我得签收一个快递 because I have a package coming that I need to sign for.
德维慌了 她还不擅长找借口 Devi was panicking and pretty bad at coming up with excuses.
-真的 -对 -Word. -Yeah.
是我妈的药… 她有小儿麻痹症的 It's medication for my mom's... polio.
-天啊 -是啊 所以… - Good lord. - Yeah, so...
-靠 -糟糕 你没事吧 -Goddamn it! -Oh, shit. Are you okay?
我没事 Yep, I'm fine.
你确定吗 你... 流血了 Are you sure? You're... bleeding.
没事的 明天见 It's chill. I'll see you tomorrow.
这不是德维想象里完事后羞耻地走回家的画面 Well, this certainly was not the walk of shame Devi was hoping for.
她的一天还会更倒霉 And now, her day was only about to get worse.
什么… What the--?
这是什么鬼情况 What the hell's going on here?
德维 这是跟妈妈和邻居打招呼的态度吗 Devi, is that any way to greet your mother and your neighbor?
安德鲁在考虑买下你爸的摩托 Andrew here was just thinking of buying Dad's old moped.
什么 你不能卖 What? You can't sell it.
我马上就16岁了 我可以骑 I'm almost 16. I could drive it.
当然 然后每年我都要去高速路 Sure. Then every year, I can go leave flowers
在你的出事路段给你献花 on the part of the highway where you died in a horrible accident.
那是我爸的车 But it's Dad's.
他不会希望你卖给冒牌卢克·威尔逊[演员] He wouldn't want you to sell it to a discount Luke Wilson.
-我认识卢克 他人很好 -闭嘴 -Oh, I know Luke. He's a great guy. -Shut up.
爸爸已经不在了 我说了算 Dad's not here. It's my call.
妈 你个臭贱人 Mom, you're being such a bitch!
你最好在我扇你之前回你的房间去 Yeah, you better go to your room before I give you a smack!
打孩子在许多少数族裔文化中仍然是可以容许的惩罚 Smacking is still an acceptable punishment in many minority cultures.
对不起 我们今天没有比萨百吉饼吃了 Sorry, we don't have Bagel Bites tonight.
我妈对我很生气 现在不愿意给我们做零食 My mom's super pissed at me, and now she won't make us any snacks,
尽管比萨百吉饼能提高学习效率 despite the fact that Bagel Bites, like, help us study!
你喊我"臭贱人"之前 You should've thought about your Bagel Bites
怎么没想想你的比萨百吉饼 before you called me a bitch!
-好吧 -听着 - Oh, okay. - Look,
我们想聊聊另一种零食 we want to talk about a different type of snack.
帕克斯顿·霍尔吉田 Paxton H-Y.
我们今天看见你跟他一起走了 We saw you drive off with him today.
你们上床了吗 Did you guys hook up?
他的小弟弟真的他有穿灰运动裤时看着那么大吗 Is his penis as big as it looks in those gray sweatpants?
就好像里面藏了个胡椒研磨器 It's like he's smuggling a pepper grinder in there.
像皮尔斯百利的饼干面团一样 Yeah, like one of those tubes of Pillsbury cookie dough.
美味 Yum, yum.
是不是 Right, guys?
糟糕的比喻 It was bad.
我全天候脑子想的都是做爱 但我实际上不知道怎么做 It's like, I think about sex 24/7, but I don't really know how to do it.
电影里 女孩会顺着男孩的身体 一路亲下去 In the movies, you always see the girl kiss her way down a guy's body,
但是然后 她就不在画面里了 but then, she moves off-screen.
她是会停在裆部那 还是一直亲到脚呢 Is she stopping at the penis, or kissing all the way to the foot?
-裆部 -脚 -Penis. -Foot.
看到了吗 我以为我准备好了 可也许我没有 See? I thought I was ready, but maybe I'm not.
等等 我们很聪明的 Wait. We are smart,
傻逼们经常在上床 and idiots are banging all the time.
如果他们会 我们也能学会 If they can do it, we can learn how to do it too.
凯格尔运动
传教士式 Missionary.
反转女牛仔 Reverse cowgirl.
观音坐莲 The love seat.
骑乘式 Snowmanning.
海盗旗式 Jolly Roger?
信任鸟式 The Trust Bird.
这画面让我非常不舒服 Hey, this was really uncomfortable for me to watch.
问问天气
天气... 好吗 How is... the weather?
很好 Good.
你那边天气怎样 How is the weather for you?
南加州 没什么可抱怨的 Southern California. Can't complain.
我最有趣的地方是... What's interesting about me is...
我在进行一个为期六年的研究项目 I'm in a six-year research program
寻找莱姆病的预防性疗法 to find preventative treatment for Lyme disease.
我们最近取得了突破… We've had a recent breakthrough, and it's--
你们好 她最喜欢的还是做饭 Namaskaar, Maami, Maama. What she loves to do is cook.
卡玛拉 跟他们说说你最爱的菜谱 Kamala, tell them about some of your favorite recipes.
墨西哥风味烤薯球 Tater-tot nachos.
她想说的是酸豆汤 蒸米糕和多莎饼 What she meant to say was sambar, idli, dosa.
所有经典的小吃 只要你说的出 她就做得出 All the classics. You name it, she can cook it.
除了肉 Except meat.
但我吃鸡蛋 I do eat eggs.
她开玩笑的 She's joking.
那是她最喜欢的美国电视剧角色的口头禅 It's just a catchphrase of one of her favorite characters on American TV.
"但我吃鸡蛋 但我吃鸡蛋" "I do eat eggs. I do eat eggs."
-她就是这么说的 -但我吃鸡蛋 -That's how she says. -I do eat eggs.
你不应该化这么浓的妆 You shouldn't wear so much makeup.
会蹭在你的小胡子上 It'll collect on your mustache.
我至少能长出胡子来 At least I can grow a mustache.
医生说很快我也能长出来了 My doctor says any day now.
你化妆给谁看啊 Who are you trying to impress?
跟你没什么关系 不过我算正在谈恋爱 Not that it's any of your business, but I'm kind of seeing someone,
放学以后我要去约会 and I have a date after school.
德维 你唯一约会的人就是你的心理医生 Devi, the only person you're seeing is your therapist,
因为你彻底发疯 三个月都走不了路 because you went straight-up psycho and couldn't walk for three months.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
我明天又要走不了路了 Well, I won't be able to walk again tomorrow,
因为我要被猛操了 because I'm about to go get railed.
我走了 处男 Peace out, virgin.
是 你可以随时来看车 Yeah, you can come see the bike whenever you want,
是的 完好无损 一道划痕都没有 and yes, it's in perfect condition, not one scratch.
好的 再见 Okay, bye.
我们已经有一个完美的女儿了 Hey, we already have one perfect daughter.
已经足够了 That is all we need.
我们的家已经完整了 Our family is complete.
我们去外面好不好 Why don't we go outside?
呼吸一下新鲜空气 Take some fresh air.
会让你感觉好些的 It'll make you feel better.
我不想感觉好些 I don't want to feel better.
相信我 Trust me.
没什么好担心的 亲爱的 There is nothing to worry about, my love!
我到庙里给这车开过光了 I had the bike blessed at the temple.
德维做好了一切准备 Devi had prepared all she could,
就像我赢下84年美国公开赛大满贯一样 just like I did for the US Open Final in '84 when I won in straight sets.
但如果她想赢下自己的第一次 她得打起精神 But if she was gonna win her first major, she had to put her game face on.
好了 德维 你能做到 Okay, Devi. You can do this.
你能做爱的 You can do sex.
就像骑车一样 It's like riding a bike...
只不过自行车换成男人 except the bike is a man.
嘿 'Sup?
我刚跑完步 I'm just finishing up a run.
好吧 Okay, cool.
你要拉伸一下之类的吗 So do you need to stretch or something,
还是你准备好去车库里和我上床了 or are you good to just go into your garage and have sex with me?
直接去车库吧 I'm good to go to the garage.
我们坐在这… So, here we are...
马上要让对方爽了 about to pleasure each other.
但在我爽翻你之前 得去个厕所 But before I can rock your world, I need to freshen up.
能告诉我女洗手间在哪儿吗 Can you point me in the direction of the ladies' room?
我可不想做到一半尿出来 I wouldn't wanna pee in the middle of doing it.
是啊 那可不太好 Yeah, that'd be bad.
-右边第一个门 -谢谢 -First door on the right. -Thanks.
天啊 Jesus Christ!
你还好吗 Are you okay?
我听到你喊了 I heard you yell.
我是帕克斯顿的姐姐 I'm Paxton's sister.
我把手机掉厕所里了 I dropped my phone in the toilet.
已经弄干净了 干得很快 It's clean now. It dried fast.
哦 好吧 Oh, okay.
你能帮我个忙吗 Hey, can you help me with something?
好啊 Uh, sure.
我要和朋友们去看电影 I'm going to the movies with my friends.
这两条裤子哪条最炫 Which pair of jeans is the fiercest?
当然是做旧的那条 很性感 For sure the distressed ones. They look hot.
我在老海军买的 我在那边工作 Yeah, I got them at Old Navy. I work there.
真酷 我被零售店开除了 Cool. I got fired from retail.
因为他们说我手汗太多 不适合叠衣服 They said my hands were too sweaty to fold clothes.
你是帕克斯顿的新女友吗 So are you Paxton's new girlfriend?
你觉得我看着像帕克斯顿的女朋友 You think I look like one of Paxton's girlfriends?
不像 No.
因为你看着不像贱人 Because you don't look like a skank.
-靠 妹子 够狠 -谢谢 -Damn, girl. Savage burn. -Thanks.
我是丽贝卡 I'm Rebecca.
我是德维 很高兴认识你 I'm Devi. It's nice to meet you.
你干什么呢 What are you doing?
贝卡 我还以为你在上班呢 Becca, I thought you were at work.
我和丽萨换班了 I switched with Lisa.
她明天要去摘牙套 She gets her braces off tomorrow.
你说你要去上厕所 这是什么情况 You said you were just going to the bathroom. What the hell?
等等 你是生我的气了吗 Wait. Are you mad at me or something?
祝你看电影看得开心 Have fun at the movies.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
你为什么要在我家乱逛 还和我姐姐说话 Why are you sneaking around my house and talking to my sister?
我不应该吗 我都不知道你还有个姐姐 Was I not supposed to? I didn't even know you had a sister.
你认为我在藏着她 Oh, you think I'm hiding her now,
因为我觉得她丢人吗 because I'm embarrassed of her, or something?
-不 我没这么说 -好吧 -No, I didn't say that. -Okay.
我觉得这样不行 你还是走吧 I don't think this is gonna work. All right, you should probably just go.
德维 我们出发吧 今天路上车特别多 Devi, let's go! Traffic is heavier than usual!
101号公路上发现一具尸体 There was a dead body found on the 101.
帕克斯顿 能跟你说句话吗 Paxton, can I talk to you?
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
你刚刚是和帕克斯顿在帅哥角吗 Were you just at the Hot Pocket with Paxton?
因为你... 我的天啊 你都不用多说一句话了 Because you... Oh, my double God. You don't even have to say another word.
我都能看出来你已经不是处女了 I can already tell you're not a virgin anymore.
-你在放光 -不 -You're glowing. -No, um...
德维 这太棒了 Devi, this is amazing.
你一下子从整个学校都觉得可怜的人 You just went from the person in school that everyone felt sad for
变成了学校里每个人都嫉妒的人 to the person in school that everyone is gonna be jealous of.
事实就是这样 And there it was, the truth.
每个人都可怜她 Everyone pitied her.
如果德维现在说实话 And if Devi came clean now,
她就只能做回全校人眼中的可怜虫 she'd be back to being nothing more than the school's sob story.
是啊 太疯狂了 Yeah. No, it's crazy.
我不敢相信我现在是女人了 I can't believe I'm a woman now.
感觉完全不一样 It feels totally different.
法比奥拉 Hey, Fabiola.
等不及这周末和你一起去百客美了 Can't wait to hit up Wetzel's P's with you this weekend.
我也是 Same.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我们差不多都有男朋友了 你们敢相信吗 We basically all have boyfriends now. Can you believe our lives?
德维很紧张 Devi was rattled.
作为一个无所不知的女孩 For a girl who always knew all the answers,
她不知所措了 she didn't know what to do.
帕克斯顿拒绝和她说话 她要怎样才能挽回呢 How could she make things right with Paxton if he wouldn't talk to her?
-他就坐在不到半米远的地方 但是… -德维 - He was less than two feet away, but-- - Devi.
我刚刚问了你一个问题 I asked you a question.
该死 沙皮罗老师 刚刚问了德维一个问题 Oh, shit. Apparently, Mr. Shapiro asked Devi a question.
我也没听见 我光顾着和你们说话了 I missed it too. I was talking to you guys.
说出纳粹想要消灭的七个族群 Name seven groups the Nazis wanted to exterminate.
犹太人 残疾人 the Jews, the disabled,
共济会 西班牙共和党人 Freemasons, bench republicans,
同性恋 耶和华见证者 还有… the queer community, Jehovah's Witnesses, and, um...
我可以说吗 沙皮罗老师 May I, Mr. Shapiro?
好 Yeah.
还有罗姆人 沙皮罗老师 It's the Romani people, Mr. Shapiro.
对了 本 做得好 That's right, Ben. Good work.
没关系的 德维 It's okay, Devi.
我知道记住七个知识点很难 I know how hard it is to memorize seven facts.
对 我希望纳粹把你杀了 Yeah, well, I wish the Nazis would kill you, so...
德维 什么情况 Devi, what was that?
是啊 德维 请和班上同学分享一下 你嘟囔什么呢 Yeah, Devi, please share your mumble with the rest of the class.
我说我希望纳粹把本杀了 I said I wished the Nazis would kill Ben.
天啊… Oh man...
什么情况 德维 What the hell, Devi?
你不能就这样希望纳粹把同学杀掉 You can't just go around wishing Nazis would kill classmates.
尤其他还是… Especially ones who are...
-犹太人 -是 很对 是你自己说的 -Jews? -Yes, exactly. Your words.
德维 现在向本道歉 Devi, apologize to Ben right now!
-对不起 -你还得再有诚意些 -I'm sorry. -You're gonna have to do better than that.
对不起 我搞砸了 I'm sorry. I'm just messed-up.
我就是个乱七八糟会搞砸一切的人 I'm just a messed-up person who ruins everything
永远也找不到幸福 and will never find happiness.
我凭什么呢 我根本不值得爱 And why should I? I don't deserve love.
我是个不尊敬妈妈的没礼貌的青少年 I'm a rude teenager, who disrespects her mother.
我希望我才是死在101公路上的那个人 I wish I was the dead body on the 101.
这想法有点黑暗 Okay, that was dark.
格拉布校长 如果你同意的话 我不想告她了 Principal Grubbs, if it's okay with you, I'd like not to press charges.
我们也没在讨论这个问题 本 Okay, we really weren't discussing that, Ben.
那不如你们自己解决一下... So why don't you two work it out...
别告诉你们家长 好吗 and don't tell your parents. Okay?
本 对不起 我不希望纳粹杀了你 Ben, I'm really sorry. I don't want Nazis to kill you.
没关系 It's okay.
我能看得出你遇到了更大的问题 I could tell something bigger was bothering you.
除了被比你聪明的人碾压了之外 Besides being pwned by your intellectual superior.
我猜约会不顺利吧 I'm assuming the date didn't go well?
每个人都觉得希拉和我是完美的一对 Everyone thinks Shira and I are this perfect power couple
出席丽莎·范德庞[演员]的餐厅举办的慈善晚宴 going to fundraisers at restaurants owned by Lisa Vanderpump.
她是我爸的一个客户 She's one of my dad's clients.
是 你总能说到这个 Yeah, that comes up a weird amount.
但我想说的是 就算是希拉和我也有起起伏伏 Yeah, but my point is, even Shira and I have our ups and downs,
但我们总能解决问题 but we make it work.
我在思想上启发她 她用她的性感提升我的地位 'Cause I push her intellectually, and her hotness elevates me socially.
你真恶心 格罗斯 You're gross, Gross.
不过谢谢你 But thanks.
史蒂夫 等等 我们不能再约会了 Steve, wait. We can no longer date.
什么 What?
这很复杂 It's complicated,
但我父母希望我和别人在一起 but my parents want me to be with someone else.
因为我是一个很差的田径队的教练 Is it because I coach a really bad track team?
加州理工就不是出好运动员的地方 CalTech's not known for having great athletes.
队里大部分人 Most of my team
-都不好意思穿短裤 -不 不是这样的 -are too embarrassed to wear shorts. -No, that's not it.
我爸妈完全不知道你的存在 My parents don't know about you... at all.
但是我们都约会三个月了 But we've been dating for three months.
这三个月我们很开心 And they have been three terrific months.
你带我去了城里很多很棒的地方 You have shown me so many fantastic places in the city.
好莱坞标志 威尼斯海滩 橄榄园餐厅 The Hollywood sign, Venice Beach, Olive Garden.
但我有家庭责任 对不起 But I have a duty to my family. I'm sorry.
再见 史蒂夫 Goodbye, Steve.
为你和帕克斯顿上床感到骄傲 Proud of you for boning Paxton!
妈妈 我饿了 Mom, I'm hungry!
家里没吃的了 只有爆米花 There's no food in here, except for popcorn,
薯片 鹰嘴豆泥和剩菜之类的 chips, hummus, and leftovers, and stuff.
妈妈 你在哪儿呢 Mom, where are you?
我知道你在家 你车在外面呢 I know you're here. Your car is outside.
妈妈 Mom!
卡玛拉 柠檬汁太酸了 Kamala, this lemonade is too sour.
那就别喝 Then don't drink it!
天啊 对不起 Jeez. Sorry.
我决定留下小摩托 I've decided, we're keeping the moped.
不是留给德维 仅供我个人使用 Not for Devi. For my personal use.
钥匙我会藏起来 就这样 The keys will be hidden. End of discussion.
还有 And furthermore,
你要是再敢对我出言不逊 if you ever use the B-word with me again,
你不仅仅永远开不上小摩托 not only will you never drive the moped,
也永远不能开任何车 you will never drive, period.
因为你死定了 Because you will be dead.
我明白 对不起 I understand. I'm so sorry.
我很期待玉米卷之夜 I'm very excited for taco night.
卡玛拉 柠檬汁太酸了 Kamala, the lemonade is a bit too sour.
请原谅我担心这个家的糖摄入量 Excuse me for caring about this family's sugar intake!
德维 有个男生找你 Devi, there's a boy here to see you.
-嘿 -嗨 -Hey. -Hi.
我们到这边来说 Let's talk over here.
我想为我昨天的话道歉 I wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday.
我只是对我姐姐太有保护欲了 I'm just kind of protective of my sister.
她以前总被别人欺负… She used to get bullied pretty bad...
连我当作是朋友的人也欺负她 even by people I thought were my friends.
我猜我的保护欲一直都太强 I guess I've always been a little too protective.
比如 我爸妈刚刚收养她的时候 Like, when my parents first adopted her,
我每天晚上都拿着玩具枪守在她床边 I used to sit by her bed every night with a Nerf gun.
所以我家猫只有一只眼睛了 That's why our cat only has one eye now.
帕克斯顿 我不会嘲笑你姐姐的 Paxton, I would never make fun of your sister.
她很潮 比我酷多了 She's super fashionable and way cooler than me.
-不许笑 -妈 -No laughing. -Mom!
很遗憾您有小儿麻痹症 维什瓦库马尔医生 I'm so sorry about your polio, Doctor Vishwakumar.
什么 What?
谢谢你的道歉 Well, thanks for the apology.
既然我们和好了 那明天你家车库见 If we're cool, should we meet in your garage tomorrow?
说实话我觉得还是算了 Actually, I don't think that's a good idea anymore.
有点怪怪的 你觉得呢 It just got weird, you know?
是 当然 我也正要说这个呢 Yeah, sure. I was gonna say the same thing too.
好 Okay.
那我们学校见 Well, uh... I'll see you at school.
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♪ 为派对梳妆打扮 ♪ ♪ Dressing up for the party♪
♪ 扎染衫配上首饰 ♪ ♪ A tie dye shirt and too much jewelry♪
♪ 柠檬水和毛毛的桃子 ♪ ♪ Lemonade and Fuzzy Peaches♪
♪ 我已经受够了那些婊子 ♪ ♪ I've had enough of all these bitches♪
♪ 不知道对错有什么分别 ♪ ♪ Don't know the difference Between right and wrong♪
♪ 我不在乎 渴望感受全部 ♪ ♪ I don't care, I wanna feel it all♪
♪ 带上粉润的脸颊和一口袋的梦想 ♪ ♪ Rosy cheeks and pockets full of dreams♪
♪ 我们收拾出发 不再回头 ♪ ♪ Let's pack a bag and never come back♪
♪ 不再回头 ♪ ♪ Never come back ♪