(THUNDER CRASHING)
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Defy reason .Defy everything you know.
(ANNOUNCER READING)
Welcome to Fright Night
Onstage at the Hard Rock Hotel .and Casino in Las Vegas.
Welcome back.
In the northern Las Vegas suburb .of Hillcrest Bluffs today,
a woman leaving a grocery store says .a man came up to her
and tried to bite her.
He was scared off .by the security guard.
If you've seen or witnessed anything .similar...
(EXCLAIMS)
(WHIMPERS)
(BREATHING RAGGEDLY)
(GASPS)
(LOW GROWLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(ENGINE STALLING)
Really? Really? .I'm going to take you apart
You watch me. .Watch me take you apart
You're done. You're done
Nothing doing, huh?
This thing has got no ambition .It's got no huevos.
Doris, do you want some help .with the trash?
Oh, I got it. Thanks
All right. Good to see you, Char-Char .You're getting big.
Hey, kid. Don't leer at the neighbors
She's the one that .put the word on her butt
I'm just reading it
Is he ever going to .move that dumpster'?
Oh, Mom, come on. .You got to get over it
Attitude
You've been stressed or something
Amy'?
Amy is good. .Hasn't dumped me yet, so
Getting what you want can be stressful
Especially when you're not used .to getting it. More to lose.
You reading those books again? .The Power of Whatever-the-Hell?
Because they're definitely not working
And neither is this bike
Still tripping out over some guy's box
It's an eyesore
I'm trying to get people to move in .not join the legions leaving town.
- I like that word. Legions .- Hello.
Can I get some help here?
-(SIGHS) When the Perrys lived there .- When the Perrys lived there,
they were the greatest neighbors ever .but they moved.
I thought you were happy .their house finally sold.
He's not digging a pool, so where did .all this concrete come from?
That's a very good question
Maybe you should spy on him .some more and find out.
He's 13 feet from our house .That's not spying.
It's merely observing
- Hi, Mrs. Brewster. .- Hey, honey. Hi, girls
-Hi .-Hi
- Oh, hey, Ed called again .- Yeah?
I'm tired of .making excuses for you, Charley
If you don't want to talk to him .just tell him.
Kind of defeats the purpose
(SIG-HS)
- Still can't get the bike started? .- No faith.
So you don't need a ride?
Amy!
Amy! Oh, my God
Hey!
- Charley'? .- Yeah.
- Guess what? .- What?
- Guess what'? We are on time .- Oh, good.
- You stress too much .- No, I don't.
Yeah, you do. .You do your worried thing
- What's my "worried thing"? .- Your worried thing.
I don't have a worried thing .I never make that face.
All the time
- Ladies. .- Dudes. Looking good
Seriously? A mochaccino?
You can't ride with the girls any more .I mean,
you let them brush your hair, .My Pretty Pony?
Chuck's secure
Nice, man. Nice kicks
- Puce. .- Fuck, yeah
I have track after school .I'll see you later.
Hey, Amy, Amy
About the prom. I was going to ask you .I just kind of figured it was a go.
You, me, ill-fitting tuxedo. .The whole thing, you know?
No. Nobody goes to the dance .in senior year.
Okay. Yeah, I knew that
- It's so not cool .- I know.
- Okay, bye .- Bye.
(SIG-HS)
Did you find .a freaking genie lamp, man?
Make a sacrifice to the hot-ass gods? .How do you get that?
- Just game, man. .-(BEN SNICKERS)
Rock-solid game
- He doesn't even have a car .- Seriously.
- GRANADA: Ben Wegener? .- Here.
Nick Straley?
Nick?
- Courtney Frank? .- Here.
Adam Johnson?
Adam?
- Steve Danton? .- Here.
- Matt Hofstetler? .- Yo.
- Ellen Mclntosh? .- Here, Ms Granada
Samuel Silverman?
Holy crap, man. How did you get that?
She's hard up, man
Dude, I think Ed's going to talk to us
Hey, can I get a minute?
Just the two of you? That's sweet!
Now he can school you .in the ways of geek-douchery
Nice. Don't you have .some sluts to go fuck?
Actually, yeah, I do
It's important, Brewster
What's up, Ed'?
You know Adam's missing, right?
What do you mean, Adam's missing?
I keep trying him. .No texts, no phone calls, nothing
I don't know if you were .paying attention at roll call
but he's not the only one that's gone
Kids aren't coming to school .That happens all the time.
What do you want me to do about it?
Just meet me at his house after school
We'll check around .and see if he's okay
I can't. I'm sorry. I'm busy
I don't think you understand .what I'm telling you. Adam's gone
Do we really have to do this here?
Wow. Am I supposed to not even speak .to you any more?
- Be quiet. Don't spaz out .-"Don't spaz out."
You don't want me to spaz out? .Oh, my God! It's so horrible!
Crossing the streams! Will high school .as we know it cease to exist?
Okay. You want me to go tell your pals .how well we really know each other?
The LEGO contests, .the Farscape conventions,
-the costumes? .- Please stop.
Or how about that one time .you took my Stretch Armstrong
so you could tie it around your balls .and jerk off for an hour?
- Stop. .- Then be my backup
Okay, fine. Adam's after school
Don't be late
I'd really like Stretch back, by the way
AMY: You know what I want for dinner?
You realize you're eating .right now, right?
You just forced me to get you .a smoothie so big
that they named a planet after it
It's true. I'm insatiable
You are
What was that for?
Nothing
JANE: I'm so sorry to take up your time .I really appreciate your help.
Is my mom flirting'?
Hey, Charley, I'm at Adam's house,
and it's really weird, .because you're not here
Remember those videos of us .back in the day?
Adam, you, and I dressed in tights?
You don't want your new pals .seeing you in that, do you'? All right
(EXHALES)
JANE: So, not a pool? .What's the work you're doing?
JERRY: Foundation problems. .I had to rip up half the basement
Oh, these houses were .practically built overnight
It never surprises me .when they come apart
This is the third time .this thing has broken
JERRY: Done. Just needed a new stem
Jerry, this is my son, Charley, and his
I don't know. Do we say "girlfriend"?
Hi, I'm Amy
Hey, Jerry
Nice to meet you
(CLEARING THROAT) So, Jerry is our .new neighbor at the Perry place.
- And he's handy .- No kidding.
I'm sorry about the mess, Charley
I was just saying to your mom .I'll have the dumpster gone tomorrow
It doesn't bother me. My mom was
Jerry does night construction .on the Strip.
CHARLEY: Oh
You play ball
I'm always looking for a pickup game
Yeah, no, I do. Definitely
- I do. .- It's more of a collector thing, the shoes
He's obsessed. .They sleep on sidewalks to get them
- I play, though. .- It takes a real man to wear
Puce
I like them
So, I'd invite you guys inside, .but it's a mess.
- I've been meaning to .- Be neighborly.
A drink. Something
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
(JERRY EXHALING)
Soon, okay?
Yeah, you bet. .And thank you so much for the help
It's the least I could do
My God. Why did you blow him off?
A guy that good-looking still single? .Bad bet. He is a player.
Nice, Mom, breaking it down
I've had enough man troubles. .I am not getting suckered again
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
CHARLEY: Oh, wow
I got '£0 go
- What? .- I'll call you later. Okay?
- Now? .- Dinner's on
- That's fine. I'll eat after .- Charley!
- Are you okay? .- Okay, see you, guys
Dude, where the hell have you been?
- You said after school. .- I meant right after. This is dusk
- Do you know what that means? .- No, I have no idea.
- Let me consult my pocket dictionary .- Nice.
Hello'? Anybody home?
Nope
(RINGING DOORBELL)
CHARLEY: This is nuts
ED: I really hate to be the one .to tell you this, but
that guy, your neighbor
he's a vampire, man
- My neighbor? Next door? .- Yeah.
Jerry. I just met him
Okay. Jerry
That is a terrible vampire name. Jerry?
I didn't name him, man. .I'm just reporting the facts
Dude
(WHISPERING) Hello?
Adam?
(STOMPING HEAVILY)
(SHUSHING)
Yo. It's Ed
(EXCLAIMING)
- Jesus. .- I feel stupid. It's a cardboard cut-out
Nice
- They're not here, dude. .- It's not just them, okay? Listen to me
I saw this thing on channel 13 .where there was this lady
who escaped an attacker .that tried to bite her.
Why are you walking like that?
All right. Listen
Adam and I graphed out all the attacks, .all the disappearances.
- Whole families, gone. .- That happens all the time
Nobody lives in Vegas, .they just pass through.
You live in Vegas
That's you right there in the center, .next to his house and Perry's old place
His windows .are completely blacked out
Lots of people .have blacked-out windows
They work on the Strip at night .sleep during the day.
Which is why it's the perfect plan. It fits!
What? That Jerry's a Dracula?
No. Dracula is one specific vampire .I'm telling you...
Dude, I know what you're telling me. .I'm making fun of you. I'm mocking you
- Awesome. .- You read way too much Twilight.
That's fiction. This is real
He's a real monster
and he's not brooding .or lovesick, or noble.
He's the fucking shark from Jaws
He kills, he feeds, and he doesn't stop .until everybody around him is dead.
And I seriously am so angry .you think I read Twilight.
(FAINT THUD)
Ed? Ed?
You haven't asked him in yet .have you?
Because obviously he can't get in
without an invitation. .I know you know that
- You're on drugs, dude .- No, well... Yeah.
But I thought you'd take .my word on this, man.
I have hard evidence at home
OKEY
All right. Listen. .We have to stake him in his nest, okay?
Me and you. But not now. It's too dark
We should go during the day
That's what I read .on Peter Vincent's website
- The magician? .- Yeah.
The magician in the bandana .and the leather pants and...
- Yes. .-...tattoos and
Yes. He's the master of dark forces
He studies vampire methodology .What else do you need'?
- Wow .- Wow
Can we just pretend for one minute .that you're not a complete douchebag?
Evil, this was fun when we were eight
- Try 16. .- Whatever, man!
Point is I grew up. .If you don't want to, that's fine,
but don't get an attitude because .I'd rather have a life than make shit up
I get it. You're so cool, Brewster
Go ahead and join .your Clark High early peakers,
-and that includes your girlfriend .- Shut up.
She's undeniably doable, .yes, I will give you that,
but we used to make fun .of her and her friends.
- She's a skank. We used to make fun .- Shut up!
Adam's gone and you act .like you don't give a shit!
What the fuck happened to you'?
We were inseparable
You know when my life .started to get better?
When I stopped being friends with you
(SNIFFS)
What a fucking asshole
(EXCLAIMS)
Goddamn
- Why are you on my street, bro'? .- Sorry. I'm really sorry about that
You tracked your nerd juice .all the way down it.
Really'? Looks like I tracked .some nerd juice on your face there
Oh, yeah'? Do I still got some? .Still there?
OKEY
Just hit me. Really, .I don't have time for this
Seriously?
Jesus, I just gave you .a fucking invitation to hit me
You just gave me an invitation
MARK: (EXCLAIMING) Oh!
(IN GRUFF VOICE) You better run, boy! .I'm coming! You better run!
(LAUGHS)
Unbelievable
Shit!
You back the fuck up! I'm armed! .I know how to use this thing!
Hello! Please! .Please, somebody let me in!
Someone's after me right now! .Please!
Help me! God damn it!
Forget it, Jerry. No invitation .You can't get in.
Oh, shit
Abandoned. I thought .you did your homework
You've been watching me
I've been watching you .It seems fair.
(WHISTLING OMINOUSLY)
(SNIFFS)
Shit, shit
That looked like it hurt
(SCREAMS)
You bit off more than you can chew
It's too late. I told people what you are .You've been made!
And you think anyone's .actually going to believe you
Don't play that crap, .don't play that mind shit with me
I'm serious. Try me!
OKEY
You say you're glad you're different
- Get back! .- How can you be in a place like this?
These people, even your best friend
-you're nothing to him now .- No.
You were born for this
And you know it
It's a gift
Good on his word
Kid Comeback!
Gladiator Man!
Squid Man!
ED: Come at me if you dare! .CHARLEY: I dare!
ED: What can you do now, Squid Man?
(GROANING)
- Hey, you. .-ls Charley up yet?
You try. My voice seems to be .on some frequency he can't hear
Charley!
The world is Kid Comeback's!
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(CHARLEY ROARING)
ED: No, you're already dead. .No, you're already dead.
coming!
- GRANADA: Eden Miller? .- Here.
Ed Lee?
Edward Lee?
- Zach Taylor? .- Here.
- Beth Tepper? .- Here.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Charley!
- Hey, Mrs. Lee. .- What a nice surprise. Come in
Rick, Charley's here
- This looks great .- Thank you.
- Look at you, so handsome! .- No. You look great.
Ed said you really sprouted up .Look at you. How's it going?
Ed's going to be so sorry .he missed you.
- Oh, he's not here? .- No, he leaves early
Do you mind if I run upstairs and. .There's just a book that we need
Of course. Make yourself at home
- Right up there. .- Nope, I remember
(LAUGHS)
Oh, man
ANNOUNCER: Peter Vincent. .Welcome to Fright...
ED: Oh, Adam. Here he comes. .You see? You see what I'm saying?
ADAM: He's a guy with a wheelbarrow. .The horror.
ED: Don't be a dick. .You know what I'm trying to prove
There. That's his truck.
Fuck! Fuck me! Oh, he didn't look.
That's him right there, Adam. .He does not show up on the video
He is so nailed. So nailed.
- Hey, QUY ._l-ley.
GUY
- You could really do me a solid .- What's that'?
I got a girl on her way over for a beer .and I'm all out of beer.
It's... Sucks
Set me up. I'll pay you back two times .A sixer for your mom and one for you.
- What do you say? .- Yeah.
Yeah, let me do that
Right now. I'll go right now .and check what we got in the fridge
OKEY
- Cool. Just give me a second .- Cool.
Let me just see what she's got
Mom's kind of a
Kind of a
light domestic
kind of a mother
Nice kitchen
Good cabinet work
Thanks
You cool with Budweiser?
Yeah, that works. Yeah
- Oh, shit. .- Can I help you with that?
No! No, no
I got it
I just... Yeah, I got it
Sorry it's not a sixer
This girl tonight, she's a handful
You know?
Women who look a certain way, they
(LAUGHS)
They need to be managed
It's true
Your dad ducked out on you?
Your mom, she didn't exactly say, but
there's a kind of neglect
Gives off a scent
You don't mind my saying, .you got a lot on your shoulders for a kid
The two of you
alone
And your girl, Amy, she's ripe
I bet there's a line of guys .dying to pluck that. Your mom, too
You don't see it. Maybe you do, .but she's putting it out.
It's on you to look out for them
You up for that, guy?
- I think I can manage .- Good.
Because there are a lot of .bad people out there, Charley
Everyone's got to look .after his own business.
Thanks for the beers
(LOCK CLICKS)
He
Where have you been'?
You told me to meet you here .an hour ago.
Hello?
Hey, are you all right?
Are you all right? Everything good?
Ye
- Why shouldn't it be'? .- No, it should.
Did you ever read this?
- No. .- It's really good
It's kind of sexy, actually, in like,
frustrated, unconsummated sort of way
Like us, you mean
Mmm-hmm. Kind of makes it hotter
- Am I boring you? .- No, I'm just tired. Sorry
Okay. That's all right .We can fix that.
Do you want to .get under the covers?
Right now? Really?
Yeah, why not? .We could just give it a go, and
Please believe me, there is nothing .I would rather be doing right now
than getting under the covers with you
OKEY
Charley, don't be nervous
It's okay
I'm not nervous, I'm cool .I'm good.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Did you hear that'?
DORIS: Sorry I'm late
Doris. Oh, shit
Shit
What? He's hot, .your neighbor's a stripper
They were bound to find each other
Go-go dancer
No. You take away two tiny pieces .of cloth, she is a stripper.
Rude
Oh, shit! Oh, shit, he saw us!
Whoa! Maybe. .It's not a big deal
It's a huge deal, okay? Very big deal .He looked at us and he was pissed!
Okay, Charley, if you're not into this, .can you just tell me'?
Because you don't have to .do me any favors.
Amy, I'm not doing you any favors .Of course I'm into this. Of course.
I don't trust that guy
You're so stupid, Charley
- I'm going. .- Oh, come on. I'm sorry
No, I'm going. I'm going to leave you to .look out the window at the neighbors
and have fun .with your neighborhood watch thing!
(SIGHING)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
Oh, shit
OPERATOR: 911
(CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO)
A woman screaming?
(LAUGHS) You bet she screamed
(ALL LAUGHING)
You bet I made her scream." Jeez
- Keep it down a bit .- Sure, absolutely.
Unbelievable
Come on. Come on
There it is
(WHISPERING) Doris?
Doris'?
(TRUCK APPROACHING)
Shit
(CLICK)
Fuck!
(SOFTLY) Doris?
Doris
It's Charley
Charley? Charley!
Oh, God! Get me out of here!
I am. I am. (SHUSHES)
Hurry!
(DOOR OPENING)
Shit! Shit!
Oh, no, he's coming back! .He's coming back! No!
DORIS: No, please
Please don't. Please
No, please don't. Please don't
(CRYING)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALING)
Fuck!
Oh, God!
Good. I got you. I got you
That's the first thing you wear for Joe .when you get your new boobies.
I want to get breast implants, but .my husband, he's more of an ass guy,
and he's very happy with my boobies, .with my minus-As.
(CHATTER ON TV CONTINUES)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(DORIS WHIMPERING)
(SHUSHING)
(WHIMPERS)
(CHATTER ON TV CONTINUES)
Thank you
You'll be all right .You'll be all right
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, you're going to be late
The hours you keep. .It's like living with a vampire
Mom
That guy Jerry, next door
Under no circumstances .is he invited into our house,
all right? He's dangerous
- I think I can handle myself .- Mom, please, I'm serious.
Don't acknowledge him .Don't talk to him,
and at night, please stay inside
Why? Because he's dangerous?
I can't answer a million questions .right now. Will you just trust me?
Charley, stop! I'm your mom .not some ridiculous woman.
I'm sorry, I can't do this right now. .I can't answer a million things right now
I don't understand. Charley!
Hey
You weren't in class. .What are you working on?
Porn
(SIG-HS)
Good. I thought .it was something creepy
You okay?
- I should probably... .- Get back to your porn'?
- Yeah. .- Yeah, okay
(PEOPLE WHOOPING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Get back, demons!
(HISSES)
O
STUD, $'£Op, stop .Stop! Cut it!
(MUSIC STOPS)
Come on! What the fuck, people?
Fire. She's supposed to be on fire .not dribbling fucking smoke.
She keeps moving the squib
Hey, I do not
But Mr. Fireman here almost nearly .burned off my extensions last time.
Bugger this. Look! .Get me some professionals, all right?
CHARLEY: Mr. Vincent?
Mr. Vincent'? .Hi, I'm from the Vegas Sun
We had an appointment today
I don't think so. .Speak to my guy
No, we did. I'm doing that article,
Vampires: Separating Myth .From Fact."
Do you want a quote?
That's a shit idea for an article
Look, please
(HISSING)
Please, I need your expertise .and you're the man on this stuff, so
I fucked her
Filthy!
So, is this, what
your first assignment or something?
Yeah
(LAUGHS)
I'm going to pop your cherry
Ginger! Bring him upstairs .You got 10 minutes.
Wow! This is all his stuff?
He started collecting tarots and Ouijas .Gateway stuff.
Now scholars, .they call him for answers
Those books, the forgotten texts,
the Agrippa. He's read them all
No, don't touch anything .He's PMS-y today.
Sensitive little girl
Over there, that's haunted antiques .Cursed stuff!
And that's Pete's honorary degree .from LVSU.
But he got it off the Internet
(EXCLAIMS) Fuck!
The one and only
- Midori me. .- Midori yourself, douchebag
- Fuck you! .- Asswipe.
Come on in. Come on
It looks like pee, but I'm hooked
- Do you want some? .- I'm good, thank you.
No? Too much for you? .Do you want a Shirley Temple?
Uh
Sit down
So
I'm the expert for your vampire thing?
They're all the rage
Leather, it doesn't breathe
Fucking rashes are fucking killing me
(GROANING)
Shoot
Right. Well
Look, I know your show
I know your show is an illusion
Meaning bullshit?
- Yeah, fair enough. .- But say I wanted to kill a vampire
(LAUGHS)
- Yeah, sorry. Go on. .- How would I go about doing that?
You want to know how to kill a vampire? .Seriously?
Yeah, kill a vampire
Well, let's think
You got fire, beheading
You can make him .a big garlicky omelet
Or go traditional. .Stake through the heart. Bam!
Cool. So that stuff really works?
Well, maybe not the omelet
How the fuck should I know?
I don't know. You have all this stuff
and you
are "Peter Vincent: Vampire
- I don't know. I'm not sure .- I read books.
You think I'm hanging out with Dracula? .And the Easter bunny? Fuck off.
(BURPS)
I'm sorry, but I have .a personal interest in this
I think one of them got my friend
What? "One of them," .meaning a vampire?
Yeah. Jerry. He lives next door to me
Jerry'? Jerry the vampire?
Do you think I don't know .how this sounds?
Two days ago I would have laughed .in my face, but it's really happening.
I am so far down the rabbit hole
I was in his house, or his lair, .or whatever, and I got these pictures
- If you just look at them .- Okay. Get out.
- No, please. .- You're a nut job. Ginger!
I'm not! I know what I saw
No, you don't. Illusion, remember?
People see .what they want to see. This is
You don't collect this stuff. .You don't have all this stuff
if you don't believe, and I promise you .I can take you to him.
I can show you .what you've been waiting for
What, in Clark County, .Nevada? (SHOUTING) Ginger!
That's a hotbed of supernatural activity
It is, though. It's genius
It's a transient population. People .work all night, they sleep all day!
Get this loser out of my sight, please
- Stop! .- Whoa!
He got my friend already! .I am not crazy.
I'm not. I don't want to know this shit
Please, just look at these pictures
Get the fuck out of my house!
Time to go, doll. Come on
MARK: Dude, is that Charley? .What the fuck is he doing'?
BEN: It's paranoia
Once I thought I was being chased .by carrots with machetes.
- I know! .- Whatever, man
You guys are both ruining my high
(TAPPING ON WINDOW)
Oh, shit! All right, .ditch the weed. I'm cool
- Hey, guy .- Yeah?
(JERRY TRANSFORMING)
- Fuck... .- Oh, fuck
Hey
- Hey .- Hey
The whole house looks like that show .Dark Shadows.
Yeah. It's a gag for Amy
Long story
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Don't, Mom, don't! .Don't open it!
How did you get in here?
- It was unlocked .- Oh, my God.
Mom, please, I told you to lock the door!
Okay!
You are flipping out. .You're acting all weird
You're blowing everything off
ls that a stake?
No. Maybe
Look
Even if you are losing it, .you do not get to blow me off
You don't go from something .to nothing overnight.
You're not nothing to me, Charley .so whatever is happening,
I would like you to talk to me, .to tell me what is going on.
Oh, man. Amy, look
(STUTTERING)
I need you to just .forget about me, okay?
I'm not going to let you get hurt .I'm sorry.
What? How? .How am I going to get hurt?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Stay there. .- JANE: I got it
No! Don't answer it. .Please don't answer it
This is ridiculous, Charley
Jane, it's Jerry from next door
Don't answer the door
This is my house. .I will answer the door if I want to
But, Mom!
Jane, I need to talk to you
Just hold on!
Now. Your son is harassing me
- Charley, what is going on? .- CHARLEY: Listen to me.
Whatever he says, .he's going to try to slip
JERRY: Jane, he broke into my house
ls that true?
JERRY: I'd rather not take this to the .authorities, but I will. I have no choice
He's sick! He's deluded
Please
Go get the authorities!
- Shit! .- JANE: What?
Wow. What is he doing?
I don't know, but whatever it is, .it's not good.
We're all right .as long as we stay inside
because obviously .he can't get in without an invitation
- Like a vampire. .- Yeah, really, like a vampire
This is the joke for Amy, right?
I can't believe .you got Jerry to go along with it
Take this
OKEY
Vampire protection
I don't think this is funny
Shit
Hey
What the fuck is he doing to my yard?
What's that?
(GAS HISSING)
(SCREAMING)
I don't need an invitation .if there's no house.
Come on. Come on!
JANE: Get in! I'll drive
Jesus Christ, Charley, .what the hell is going on?
Mom, just go! .Just gun it! Just go!
(ENGINE REVVING)
-ls everybody okay? .- Are you all right?
JANE: Nobody's hurt'?
(AMY SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
Look out!
Are you all right? .Amy, are you okay? You okay?
- Jesus! .- Mom, keep driving!
JANE: What the hell is going on?
This is seriously not okay, Charley! .Who the fuck is this guy?
Mom, I told you, .he's a fucking vampire!
- Enough with the vampires! .- Really!
Let's just calm down. .I'm going to call the police
- I don't have any service .- I do. No.
I hate the fucking desert! .Now I have a psycho next door
Oh, shit. Charley, is this him? .Who is this?
Oh, man. Damn it
- AMY: Oh, my God .- No.
- Oh, my God .- Oh, no.
AMY: God! What the fuck!
JANE: What is he doing'?
AMY: Charley, .he's coming around the side
CHARLEY: Keep going. Keep going
JANE: Jesus Christ
AMY: Shit. Look out!
What does he want?
JANE: Oh, no. What do I do? .CHARLEY: Hit him.
- What? .- Hit him
- Mom, just hit him! .- Charley, no!
Just fucking hit him!
- Don't stop. .- AMY: Holy shit!
CHARLEY: Just drive. Don't stop! .AMY: Oh, my God.
- Do you see him'? .- No.
- Did I kill him'? .- Hopefully.
(METAL SCRAPING)
(UNDERCARRIAGE THUDDING)
Mom
Oh, God
(JANE AND AMY SCREAMING)
No! That's his fucked-up vampire hand .Now do you believe me?
Shit!
Keep driving, Mom!
(JERRY GROWLING)
Oh, my God!
Charley, fucking kick him!
Shit!
Get away from me!
- Where is he? .- I don't know.
(GROANING)
JANE: Where is he? Where did he go? .CHARLEY: Stay in the car.
What the hell .do you think you're doing?
No! Stay in the car!
You stop in the middle of the road .you got a taillight out.
(GROWLING)
(MAN SCREAMING)
No, Charley!
CHARLEY: Hey!
Charley!
Hey
Please go. It'll be all right .Go. Take her and go!
Amy, take her and go!
Catch you later
I repel you with the power .of Christ the Lord.
Do you? Really?
That's a mighty big cross .you got there, Charley.
The question is, .do you have faith'?
Get back!
Not the cross. .Not the cross, Charley
Come here
You ever get a stake .in the chest, Charley?
I have. It hurts
But they missed the heart
It's right here, Charley
Easy measurement
You shouldn't have been so nosy
(SCREECHING)
(GRUNTING AND SCREECHING)
- Mom! .- Mrs. Brewster!
Her head
- You got her? .- Yeah.
- Charley... .- Hang on!
(AMY SCREAMS)
Good show tonight .right, babycakes?
You were late again .on "The Devil's Torture Chamber
I have something for you. Look
You were early again .in the bedroom.
Fuck you!
I will fuck myself. .Someone's got to do it
AMY: We won't be up all night
Honestly, it's really not a party
Sit tight. We might have .a few more questions for you
- OKay_ .- Mom?
I love you. Bye
They only asked a couple of questions .We should be okay.
I don't know. I think maybe you .should've said something to the police
Like what? "This vampire moved in .borrowed a six-pack of Bud,
"ate a stripper and blew up our house .because we wouldn't invite him inside.
Last time I called the cops, .they nearly all went to Chili's together
OKEY
This is my fault
You didn't make any of it happen
Ed came to me, .and I turned my back on him
How were you supposed .to believe him?
I mean, he begged me
I mean, he really
And he was my best friend
I know, but, Charley .people, they change 1
Yeah, and I just changed into a dick
I figured my dweeb past
wasn't really going to be .very popular with the ladies, so I
Oh. Are you trying to say .this is my fault?
I just really wanted you to like me, .that's all.
Charley
I knew you were a dweeb
Do you think I wanted .some dude like Mark'? Or Ben?
No
I like you. Because you're different
It didn't hurt .that your skin cleared up
Thanks
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Hello? .- I can help you
My place in one hour
We're going to see the Peter Vincent'?
It's underwhelming, believe me, .but he's what we've got.
Mom's very religious
I'll tell you what I know .but that's it.
Right?
Don't expect me to join .your little Scooby gang. Sit down
Whatever you got, I'll take it
That insignia you showed me
It's a species that originated .in the Mediterranean.
They nest in the earth .And they kill slowly.
They keep their victims alive for days
Snackers
And they turn everyone? .They change them into...
Yeah, I got it
They're tribal by nature. .He could be trying to turn them all
Replenish his ranks
How do we kill these guys? .This tribe.
You two? You don't
It's a strong breed. .You're going to need an army
(PHONE RINGING)
Hang on. Sorry. Sorry
- Hello! .- MAN: Mr. Vincent?
- Yes! .- You have a delivery.
All right. Send him up
Ginger, we've got a delivery!
(CHATTER ON TV)
I'm watching my programme! .You get it!
You're TiVo-ing it, you lazy cow! .Come on!
Shit. Douchebag
Hi, doll
eBay. I order things late at night .when I've had a few cocktails...
So, yeah, some nice stuff
Wait a minute. .You get deliveries this late?
Yeah
No. I don't know
Oh, shit. No. You said .that guy could come in. That's a
An invitation, airhead
Hey, Mr. Vincent, package for you
Fuck!
-(CELL PHONE RINGING) .- One second, guys. Business call
Hello. Oh, yeah
No, I'm looking at them right now .Yeah, come on up.
He's actually quite modern
Jerry dispensed .with all that "master" stuff
Ed, if you have a problem, .just keep it with me, okay?
Oh, do I got a problem .You let him get to me.
You let him turn me into this
Stay away, demon
ls that itsy-bitsy little sticky for me?
It's a crucifixion nail .It's lethal to you.
Yeah. That's old school. Nice!
You're going to have to get .pretty close to use that thing, though
(ED GROWLS)
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING) Oh, no, you don't
Come on! Let's go!
(ED SCREAMING)
Holy shit!
You took my arm!
Are you enjoying your panic room .master of darkness?
God, you are such a pussy. I love it!
Come on!
AMY: Oh, my God
- Oh, my God. .- Amy, listen to me
There's more than one way out, .and there's a million things to fight with
We're going to be okay. All right'?
- Yeah. .- Trust me. Come on
Come on!
Damn it
ED: Give it up, Chuck
If you hadn't turned out .to be such a dick,
I might have tricked you out
We could have rocked .this evil shit together!
Sign in, please
Sign in, all right? .Hey! I'm talking to you
I need you to sign in .No exceptions...
ED: I expected more of a fight .from you, Brewster.
Girl's made you lazy in the head
Pussy will do that
I can hear you breathing
It's really fucking cool
I can feel you
I can taste you
You're so
(EXCLAIMING) Fuck!
Come on!
Not so fast, Chuck
We got some catching up to do, .my friend.
Amy, go. Amy, please go!
(LAUGHS)
It's just you and me now, buddy .Mano a mano.
Let's do this
Nice weapon there, Squid Boy
Ed
Not going to do you much good, though
because I'm a goddamn .killing machine.
(ED WHOOPS)
Come on. It's like .you're not even trying
(SCREAMS)
I'm so glad you're here
Werewolves
Vampires
(SCREECHING)
(CRYING)
(LAUGHING PAINFULLY)
Bone is a motherfucker, Chuckles
It's hard to cut
ls this weird for you?
Because I'm feeling .really homo right about now
Fuck!
Bimbo's got some juice
Jerry's here
Do it, Charley
Charley, do it now!
It's okay, Charley. It's okay
Come on. I found the stairs .We have to go. Come on.
Come on
Shit
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on
Wait. He can't kill us, not in here
Really? Look around. Do you think .any of these people are going to notice?
- Oh, shit. .- Oh, God
It's tequila mad T-shirts!
- Amy! .- Charley!
Amy!
Charley!
Amy!
Now that is what I'm talking about!
Can you help me'? Please?
Charley's going to come .He's gonna find me.
I'm counting on it
You'll see. You just need a taste
It could be like a dream
CHARLEYI Amy!
- How did you get in here? .- Listen, man! Listen to me!
He's dangerous. You have to help me .That guy's going to kill her.
Yeah, she looks to be liking it, then
No, man. Listen, .you don't understand!
Attagirl
- ID, then you can... .- I don't have ID! There's no time!
Amy! Amy!
Amy! No! No!
No! Amy!
(GASPS)
Shit! How did you get in here?
Security is a little lax since everybody .got their throat torn out.
You, too'? Has he turned you?
Check your monitor, man
I don't know if Amy's alive .or dead or turned, but he got her
I'm going to end him, .or he's going to end me
That's how it's going to be, .and you're gonna come with me
Don't you understand this yet? .There will be no fighting.
There will only be surviving
- Maybe. .- Really?
You think if you live and we all die,
you'll be able to .get us out of your head'?
No, I know I won't. .I never could after the first time
So I told myself I made it up
I was a kid. Figured it was easier .to believe in monsters.
Made what up'?
The vampire that killed my parents,
but not me
You think I collected all this stuff .because it was bitching?
Come with me. We'll go in at dawn .He's got to rest some time.
The only reason I survived the last time .is because I had the sense to hide.
If you want to be a dead hero .good for you. I'm out.
(SCOFFS)
You think I'm a coward .I'm not. I'm a realist.
So you just bail on people
Hey, I get it. .My dad was like that
But I don't want to live till tomorrow .if you're the kind of man I'm going to be
Hang on. Wait
Blessed by Saint Michael
You kill your vampire with this, it's .supposed to change his victims back
Maybe you can still save your girlfriend
If it's for real
You got a plan?
There's no guarantee he'll be sleeping
To stake him, you got to get close
Torch him
A vampire on fire .is not thinking clearly
If he's on fire, how do I get .close enough to stake him?
Fuck
I'm going to kill a vampire
Good for you
Amy! Amy!
- Amy! Amy! .- AMY: Charley!
- You all right'? .- Hey. Yeah.
- Hang on. I'm going to get you out .- Hurry.
(SCREAMS)
Shit. Shit
Amy! Amy?
- Fuck! .- Sorry.
I guess I don't want to be .a man like me, either.
Let's kill something
Floor trap. I use them all the time
What do you think is down there?
There's only one way to find out
You're going down'?
See that? Like a great date. .You get me drunk, I'll try anything
Peter. Peter
Oh, shit. .I may not be drunk enough for this
After you
AMY: Help!
You know this is a trap, right?
I'm counting on it
Fuck!
She's all yours
Look at you, all grown up
Welcome to Fright Night,
for real!
Oh, fuck
You've got your mother's eyes
And your father's aim
Better
Fuck!
Amy!
Ow!
Really?
A pebble? That's it?
(RUSTLING)
Oh, shit
Fuck!
You know you should have .saved me, Charley.
There's still time. All right?
He's inside me now
Fucking eBay!
I'll be the best you ever had
The only you ever had
Charley, we could be together forever
(SCREECHES)
Shit!
- You missed .- I know.
(PETER GROANING)
(COCKING GUN)
(\/AMPIRES SCREECHING)
- How you holding up? .- Oh, fucking great.
- Mark? .- You're dead now, asshole
(SCATTING)
JERRY: .What were you thinking, Charley?
That you were just going to walk in here .with your little crossbow
and put to bed 400 years of survival?
No, Charley. Not likely
(SNIFFING)
You smell that?
It's your fear
It's intoxicating
It's a very specific scent, Charley
(BURNING)
Amy's scent
now that was exquisite
It's all gone now, Charley
She's something, isn't she?
I have to thank you .for bringing her to me
Well, she makes me feel young again
I'm smoking
Yeah, you're turning
You can't stay there forever, Charley
The sun's got to go down .but we can wait.
That's rough
Got a light?
That's your plan?
Actually, it's your plan
Fuck
(GROWLING)
Fuck you!
(SCREECHING)
Charley! In the heart!
(SCREECHING MAN IACALLY)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Charley? Charley, come on
Come on, Charley!
Charley, come on. .Come on, come on
Wake up. Wake up
Come on, you little prick
Charley!
Hey
You okay?
Yeah
Are you'?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm all right
PETER: You little shit
Next time you're going to use my plan .give me a heads-up first.
(LAUGHS)
(PETER EXHALES)
That was a fucked-up night
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Are you sure'?
Yeah
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(GROANS)
One second
Hello?
It's me. Just checking in .What are you up to'?
Nothing, nothing
- What are you doing? .- Just did a little shopping
-for the new house .- Shopping? Nice.
Something actually just came up .and I have to go.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm good. Are you all right?
Yeah, monster free
Good. Monster free is good .I'll talk to you later, okay?
Okay, bye
If you're naked, .I'm absolutely going to look
Dude! Dude!
I know. Sorry. I left my phone
I'm not looking. I promise. See?
I can't see a thing. All right .That's it. I'm out of here.
It's all yours. .Don't do anything I wouldn't do
That doesn't narrow it down
There's, like, mini golf and sushi .Carry on!
Will you promise me, .now we'll finally be alone?
I promise
- Promise? .- I promise, promise, promise