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- [Amanda] Hello, Psych2Goers,
and welcome back to our channel.
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Thank you so very much for all of your support.
Now, let's continue.
Why do relationships fall apart?
Relationships are complicated as they are fragile.
Small mistakes can destroy years of love, passion and trust,
but you may not realize what you're doing wrong.
So here are 10 behaviors that can damage any relationship
and may be affecting yours too.
Number one, you stonewall your partner.
Do you avoid difficult questions and conversations?
This bad habit is called stonewalling.
When you stonewall your partner,
you're actively avoiding painful or emotional subjects,
but those subjects are important
to the health of your relationship.
By avoiding difficult conversations,
you're harboring unresolved issues with your partner.
It's okay to table a hard conversation every once in awhile
but ignoring an issue doesn't make it go away.
Number two, you're too distracted.
Do you give your partner your undivided attention?
Do you text other people when you're together?
Never underestimate the value of quality time.
When you're together, your partner wants to feel important.
They need to know that you enjoy spending time with them.
But if you're distracted,
your partner may feel ignored or neglected,
and your relationship may suffer.
Number three, you get defensive.
Few things are as important as communication.
But what if your partner tells you something
you don't wanna hear?
Your partner may, for example,
think they're doing all the work in your relationship.
No one likes to hear negative feedback.
So how should you react
when your partner tells you something is wrong?
Defensiveness can be destructive to any relationship.
When you become defensive,
you stop listening to your partner's concerns.
Instead, you try to protect yourself.
You may argue with them or turn the tables on your partner,
either way, you're ignoring the real problem
and your partner doesn't feel heard.
Number four, you criticize too often.
How often do you criticize your partner?
Even if you mean well,
critical behavior can drive a wedge in your relationship.
Not only is it frustrating for your partner,
excess criticism also creates a negative dynamic
in your relationship.
You lose track of why you love your partner
because you're too focused on their mistakes.
Number five, you idealize your partner.
Do you put your partner on a pedestal?
You love your partner,
so you may hold them to a high standard,
but idealizing your partner can damage your relationship.
When you idealize your partner,
you're projecting your own preferences onto them.
You love your partner for the person they could be
not who they actually are.
Number six, you ignore your past.
No one is perfect.
Every relationship has bumps and rough patches,
but ignoring your troubled past
could destroy your relationship.
Your history, good and bad,
is the reason you are where you are today.
It has shaped the way you feel about your partner
and the way your partner feels about you.
By ignoring your past,
you're overlooking significant moments in your relationship
and rejecting the struggles
your relationship has yet to overcome.
Number seven, you mislead your partner.
Have you ever told your partner something you didn't mean?
Deception can easily destroy a relationship.
Lies and manipulation ruin the most important thing
you and your partner have built together, trust.
When you stop being honest,
you give your partner a reason to doubt you.
Honesty isn't always easy
and some things are better left unsaid,
but you should never try to deceive your partner,
no matter what,
this kind of behavior will destroy your relationship.
Number eight, you create competition.
In a healthy relationship, partners don't keep score.
They don't care who's right and who's wrong
because competition creates tension, stress and resentment.
If you're always trying to prove your partner wrong,
sooner or later, you're going to drive them away.
Instead, by finding a solution
that makes both of you happy and learning how to compromise,
you can create a healthier relationship in the long run.
Number nine, you shame your partner.
Do you pick on your partner?
Many couples playfully tease each other in private.
But making fun of your partner in public
can damage your relationship.
Instead of a playful back and forth,
you're openly shaming your partner for their mistakes
and placing them in a very uncomfortable situation.
And number 10, you expect too much.
Do you get angry when your partner can't read your mind?
You expect your partner to know what you want
and what you're thinking all the time,
but that's entirely unfair to them.
It's your responsibility to vocalize the things you want.
If you don't express yourself,
your partner will never know anything is wrong.
If you expect your partner to magically know
all the answers, your relationship may slowly fall apart.
Do you struggle with any of these destructive behaviors?
Has your partner done things
that have damaged your relationship?
Tell us about your experiences
in the comment section below.
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and as always, thanks for watching.