(man) The Wild West created many amazing legends:
Geronimo, Wyatt Earp, Nat Love:::
All of them deadly:
But none deadlier than this man:
The Cherokee Kid:
So you're the Undertaker,
Now it's your turn to die,
Good night, Kid, Sweet dreams,
- (man) Is he dead? - He's graveyard dead,
Ah, weII,,,
Perhaps you wouId Iike to doubIe this reward,
I have a very interesting raiIroad,,,
I bury my dead before any business transpires, Mr, BIoomington,
WeII,,,
Uh, I have here some deeds that I,,,
Are you deaf? A brave man has died,
He deserves a proper euIogy,
Just how Iong do you think it's gonna take to finish euIogizing this,,,
How Iong wouId it take to euIogize a great man Iike Montezuma
or Thomas Jefferson,,, or Robin Hood?
How Iong?
We'II bury this man at noon tomorrow,
Noon tomorrow,
(priest So many peopIe here from far and wide
because a man has died,
But who exactIy was this man?
You know who he was, You and I raised him!
You teII 'em, You teII 'em who he was!
I wiII, mother, I'II teII 'em,
- You teII 'em what a good boy he was! - EIizabeth,,,
There are others here who wouId Iike to get a word in edgewise,
(man) That's right!
I, Juan,,, Nepomuceno Cortina,
hero of the Mexican peopIe, wouId Iike to speak,
For it is I who taught the Cherokee Kid everything he knows,
That's why he's Iaid up in that box now,
The Cherokee Kid was the most nobIe,
the most courageous human being the worId has ever known,
But Iet us begin at the beginning,
Before he became known as the Cherokee Kid,
the Cherokee Kid was,,, just a kid,
His name was lsaiah Turner:
He had a big brother named Jedediah:
Now, even back then, the railroad men were forcing the homesteaders
to sell their land for pennies:
When the boy's father stood up to them, they killed him like a dog:
The very next day Jedediah took his revenge:
He sneaked into the railroad camp
and shot the man who took his father's life:
Jed! Now don't you mistake stupidity for courage,
(Cortina) That night Mama gave to the boys their father's favorite hat:
When the bad men came, Mama and Jedediah put their plan into action:
But first they put young lsaiah in the wood box:
I'II be damned if I'm gonna Iet you Iynch my baby!
I wiII kiII him myseIf before I Iet you at him!
- No, Mama, no! - Baby, Iet it go, Let it go!
No!
No, baby, I didn't shoot Jed,
We was just pretending so that Jed couId get away,
Let 'em have it!
(man) Ed!
(gunshot
- You OK, Mr, BIoomington? - Nobody can stand in the way of progress,
Go, get him!
(gunshot
I got him!
(Cortina) Like the terrified antelope,
the brave little kid was running and running, night and day:
Guided only by his still-developing sense of direction,
he wandered aimlessly,
not knowing where to go:
Until one day the hand of fate guided him into the lap of good fortune:
Reverend and Mrs: Peel,
having no children of their own,
believed young lsaiah to be a gift from God:
Pow! Got you, BIoomington!
Pow! I got you too, Bonner!
Reverend, teII him what the good book say, TeII him what it say about kiIIing,
Son, the BibIe sayeth, ''Thou shaIt not kiII,''
The BibIe say, ''Eye for an eye,''
So I'm gonna shoot him in the eye!
Pow!
(Cortina) Then, about 1 8 years later,
the Kid had grown into a strong, sure-footed young man:
And still he clung to his childhood dreams:
Bonner, BIoomington, you're both dead,
- (Mrs: Peel Isaiah? - Coming, Ma!
Whoo!
(Cortina) One day in town, the Kid stumbled across the face
of the man he hated with every breath he took:
Bloomington was now the mayor of El Paso:
He was coming to Pinedale to speak:
lsaiah vowed to go there and silence him forever:
Just one sandwich, Ma?
Reverend, you teII him that if he gets hungry, he can just come on home,
- TeII him, - I'II teII him, mother,
TeII him we know that this is aII about BIoomington, TeII him,
Son, vioIence is not the answer,
Ma, Pa, I can't thank you enough
for taking me in and raising me when I Iost my famiIy,
But I got to go out and find out who I am,
I Iove y'aII and I'm gonna miss you,
Pa,
Oh,
- Ma, can I ask you something? - Yes, baby,
Ever since I've been IittIe, whenever you'd taIk to me,
you'd taIk to him and I'd be standing right here,
You teII him that he is gonna go and get himseIf kiIIed,
- Now, you teII him! - (lsaiah) C'mon, OId Lightning,
WeII, Pa, I'm gonna be going,
Whoa,
Bye,
(horse whinnies)
I'm OK, I'm OK, Pa,
Whoa, Lightning,
I'm just gonna waIk him, Pa,
'Cause he's kinda touchy right now,
Come on,
''Vengeance is mine,'' sayeth the Lord,
KiIIing is a sin, And PinedaIe's the other way!
I know!
That way!
One sandwich,
He'II be back here before sundown, if he can ever find this pIace,
Oh, CharIes!
He took that rusty gun off the mantIe!
(Cortina) Thus began his magnificent quest to find a town called Pinedale,
and to find the despicable excuse for a man who had killed his family:
Oh, man, where am I?
(turkey gobbling)
(Cortina) When he exhausted his supply of sandwiches,
he feasted on natural foods and wild game:
(knock
HeIIo? Anybody home?
Just Iooking for some food,
(gobbles)
Just me and you, Turkey, and one of us got to die,
Let me go, you dirty, Iowdown, scraggIy two-Iegged cockroach!
Ooh! Why, you,,,
What kind of crook knocks off a whorehouse anyway?
Why don't you go out and hit a bank Iike a reaI man?
C'mon, give me some Ioving, you cheap whore!
Cheap?
I ain't never done it for free in my Iife,
I ain't never paid for it,
C'mon,
Ha ha! C'mon,
Agh! Get off of me!
Why don't you shut that stinking mouth of yours before the bats come fIying out?
- Shut up! - You paying for this,
I know you got some money, You paying for this,
- Get off of me! - (gobbling)
(woman) What?
Hi,
You dead, boy,
(woman) Why, you,,,!
Aghh!
- Agh! - (gunshot
I think he's dead,
I kiIIed a man,,, with a turkey,
What am I gonna do? They're gonna send me to jaiI,
Lord AImighty, I've been saved by a coIored boy!
A sweet, kind, brave,
extremeIy good-Iooking, very Iight-compIected,,,
Mmm, mmm, mmm, horny brat!
Ma'am, you are truIy a IoveIy and inviting woman,
and aII the womanIy parts a man wouId want,
It's just that I ain't never been with a woman before,
I had some turkey before, and I'd rather have some of that bird, ma'am,
What's that say on his beIt?
His name, Jake Carver,
- Can't you read? - Of course I can,
I just,,, can't read EngIish,
I's French,
(Cortina laughs)
Again, good fortune smiled on our hero:
Yeah, I kiIIed Jake Carver, You got something to say about that?
(gunshot
(Cortina) He took refuge for the night in the charming little cottage,
where a nice Christian girl prepared for him
a delicious home-cooked meal:
GobbIe, gobbIe,
(Cortina) All night long he dreamed
of leftover turkey sandwiches:
But in the morning, the girl and the bird had flown the coop:
Oh, she took the turkey,
(Cortina) Bloomington would be in Pinedale today:
lsaiah had to get there, by hook or by crook:
Hey! How you doing, gentIemen?
- Morning, - Morning! How d'you do?
- Who the heII are you? - I'm,,, Jake Carver,
- Jake Carver? - Yes, I am,
Damn!
It sure as heII is a smaII worId, ain't it, boys?
- Sure is, - And we're Jake Carver's gang!
Yeah, howdy,
- Hey, Jake, I'm your cousin, - I'm your cousin too,
I ain't your cousin, so I guess that makes me your aunt,
Wait a minute, now Iet me expIain,
Gim Bob, Jake's out back, dead as a skunk,
No sign of the girI,
Wait a minute, Y'aII don't think I kiIIed him, did you?
Jake was my best,,, I grew up with Jake, That whore kiIIed him!
I aIways toId Jake from the time he was young
that these whores were gonna be the death of him,
Now you know how he was, aIways chasing women,
From the time he was young, he was aIways trying to Iook up girIs' petticoats,
I'd say, ''Jake, stop, Jake, stop,''
There was too much stuff, Petticoats, corsets,,, He wouIdn't Iisten to me,
We'd be running off pIaying tag and hide-and-go-seek,
But Jake didn't Iike them kind of games, No, no, sir, he didn't,
And what he'd do was, he'd take our arms behind our backs
and he'd twist 'em tiII we screamed,
And then he had this fIoorboard from his mammy's house
and he wouId take it and whoop us upside the head,
Then he'd take whiskey from his daddy's cabinet,
- pour it down my throat tiII I wet myseIf, - (laughter
That's our Jake!
WeII, it's a shame Jake's gone now, 'cause he had a big job for us to do,
- What kind of job? - He didn't teII you?
- No, he didn't teII me about no job, - This is a big job,
This is the biggest job, That's why he brought me out here,
We were gonna rob a bank,
- Where? - In PinedaIe,
PinedaIe?
Yeah,
A Iot of money there too, but it Iooks Iike it's gonna stay in that bank now,
Jake's gone and he had the pIans in his head,
So I'm gonna go out and bury him before them animaIs tear him up,
Ain't nothin' worse than seeing a man's body Iaying there and rotting,
You don't know what it is, you waIk up on it,
and you think it's a dead dog, but it's a person, The horses get spooked,
So I'm gonna go get him 'cause I don't wanna see that happen out there,
- Nice meeting you, - I'II bet,
Uh-uh! You're going the wrong way, friend,
PinedaIe's about ten miIes north of here,
I figured I'd just,,,
Then again, it wouId be right to honor Jake by robbing that bank,
WeII, you toId me PinedaIe was that way, I wouIdn't have gone that way if,,,
Just get,
(Gim Bob) Now, here's the new pIan,
We go in the bank,
You go up to the teIIer, teII her you're robbin' the bank,
And then,,, you rob the bank,
You've been thinking about this pIan for a whiIe, huh?
Maybe we oughta take a coupIe more minutes,
We'II just go on in there,
- Hi, can I heIp you? - Hi, how you doing?
- I'm fine, thank you, - That is a right smart tie you got on there,
Thank you very much, I bought it in St, Louis,
St, Louis? My grandmama's buried there,
Oh, weII, it's a dangerous pIace,
- Yeah, she was bit by a rabid rabbit, - A rabbit rabbit?
- A rabbit with rabies, - A rabbit with rabies?
I thought you were taIking about identicaI twin rabbits,
- No, just one rabbit with rabies, - Oh, I see, I'm sorry to hear that,
- How can I heIp you? - ActuaIIy I was thinking about,,,
Maybe you wanna open a new account?
Because if you do today, you get great gifts,
For exampIe, if you give us $ 25, you get this,
It's a cake of Grandpa's pine tar soap,
Now, I have heard about this, This the one with witch hazeI?
- AbsoIuteIy, it wiII open up your pores, - It smeIIs so fresh,
It's guaranteed to Ieave you refreshingIy cIean,
I have some other friends need to be cIean, Can I ask them?
- Of course, - Thank you,
- You're weIcome, - You're a very nice man,
Thank you, You too,
- BiIIy Bob? - It's Gim, It's Gim Bob with a G, Gim Bob,
I'm sorry, aII them Bobs are throwing me off,
Ray Bob, and Jimmy Bob, I can't get aII the Bobs right,
- WeII, it's Gim Bob with a G, - I wanna show you something,
If we give the man $ 25 to start an account,
we'II get some free pine tar soap,
And as much as we're on the road together, this'II kiII the stinkies,
I don't take a bath,
Just go over there and rob the bank,
- Just think about how you smeII, - AII right,
They don't Iike the soap,
Maybe you shouId teII them if they give us $1 00 to deposit, they get a gingham apron,
- Hush my mouth, - A gingham apron,
- And I cook, - Oh, you do?
- I can cook rabbit, - That's good, I hope it's not rabid,
That's funny, You a funny man,
You know what we do with the gingham apron?
We hand-embroider your name right across the front,
- WeII, my name's Isaiah, - That's a beautifuI name,
- It's BibIicaI, - God bIess you,
- Thank you, - That was my grandmother's name,
Isaiah?
Yeah, it's a man's name but she was very mannish,
She wore pants, but that's a different story,
We'II put the name right here, Iike it says ''TeIIer'' for me,
- That's your name? - No, that's my job,
Oh, sorry,
So why don't you go teII them about the gingham apron?
You're not gonna beIieve this, They have these gingham aprons,
We put $1 00 in, we put our money together,,,
- Now what you want me to teII him? - Just teII him we're here to rob the bank!
You don't have to spit on me,
These gentIemen are here to rob the bank,
I forgot to teII you, If you give us $300 to deposit, you get this nice big gun,
(Cortina) The Kid knew that Bloomington was close by:
He could smell him:
Unfortunately, Frank Bonner had already sniffed out the Kid:
(Bonner AII right, where is he?
Mr, BIoomington wouId Iike to meet the man who shot Jake Carver
and took his whoIe gang out singIe-handed,
There's the brave gentIeman, Mr, Bonner,
WeII, you done good, boy, Saved us a whoIe heap of embarrassment,
Here's your reward,
(man) Don't spend it aII in one pIace!
- What's the matter, son? - I ain't your son,
WeII, I don't know about that,
I done me a whoIe Iot of coIored whores in my day, I might be your daddy,
(laughter
What is that, boy?
You actuaIIy might be dangerous if you had yourseIf a reaI gun,
What a fooI,
Somebody kiII that son of a bitch!
(Cortina) Then the Kid heard the voice
that had been haunting his nightmares since he was ten years old:
(Bloomington) ,,but nobody, I mean nobody, can stand in the way of progress,
(applause)
(Bloomington) And friends,
progress is steaming your way on the American raiIroad,
Now are you gonna cIimb on board, or are you gonna get Ieft behind?
(crowd cheers)
I'm the man who brought the raiIroads to Fort Worth and AbiIene,
But I have a greater pIan,
I want to bring the raiIroad through PinedaIe to EI Paso, up to Denver,
on up to San Francisco,
(cheering)
(Bloomington) Now, I have been asked to consider
running for governor of this great state in the next eIection,
If I do,
when eIected, I promise to make avaiIabIe aII the Iand that I've invested in
to the SouthIand raiIroad,
Now, I'm inviting aII of you,,,
,,to give up your Iand, so this man's pockets can get fatter,
(Bloomington) Young man,
I'm the one that's supposed to be shooting his mouth off up here,
My mother tried to shoot your mouth off,
That's where you got that scar on your forehead,
- And I'm gonna kiII you, - (clicks)
(gunshots)
(man) He's gettin' away, Let's go!
- (man) Hurry! - (gunshot
(man) Where'd he go?
(yelling)
Gotta go, guys,
(Bloomington) Mr, Bonner,,, Ooh,
I hate to add insuIt to injury, but I need your heIp,
Now think back a number of years,
The night I aImost got my head bIowed off,
You pursued a dangerous criminaI into the woods,
Yes, sir, I tracked him down Iike a,,, dog and I shot him twice,
That Negro that shot you in the ass today seems to be same said criminaI,
He knew aII about that night,
You are a Iying son of a bitch,
Just Iike that whoring mother of yours,
Now, this fugitive in question,
who has wounded this Iaw-abiding citizen,,,
I am hereby offering a $1 ,000 reward for his carcass,
But you'd better move fast, boys,
Because Mr, Bonner's job is on the Iine,
Once he gets the Iead out of his ass,
he's gonna be movin' fast as heII,
Let's go down to EIIe Mae's and have a IittIe taint, shaII we?
Yes, sir!
(Cortina) The Kid knew he had to lay low for a little bit,
so he sought refuge with a man of the mountains:
A noble savage who lived alone in the wilderness:
A gentleman, modest:
A man who always heeded nature's call:
Pee break!
(urinating sounds)
The oId pissin' trick,
It aIways works,
(Cortina) Because of the Kid's gift of gab and the mountain man's loneliness,
a strange friendship began:
(lsaiah) What's your name?
- My name's Otter Bob, - Not the Otter Bob?
WeII, I'm Otter Bob,
When I read about you, it said you'd be a big taII man, a big strong man,
Like the way you Iook now,
It's just hard to beIieve that you reaIIy here,
Let me ask you something,
How big do you think an otter is?
- I don't know, I ain't never seen one, - About Iike that,
Now if a buffaIo was behind me right now,,,
Bam! I couId kiII him,
'Cause they're big as a house,
Goddamn BiII Cody, that arrogant son of a bitch,
Sure, ''BuffaIo BiII'''s got a better ring to it than ''Otter Bob,''
but I kiIIed a thousand otters in two days,
He never kiIIed a thousand buffaIo,
- You know BuffaIo BiII? - Yeah, I know him,
That's nice, I mean, I aIways read books about the mountain men, the gunsIingers,
- I aIways wanted to be a mountain man,,, - Wait a minute, wait a minute,
You read?
Yeah, I read, My mama taught me and my brother Jedediah to read,
That's why I was in the back of your wagon,,,
I don't care about that, I didn't ask you that,
I asked you if you couId read, You see, I got this here book,
I've been carrying it around with me for about a year now,
I reaIIy Iike it, You wanna Iook at it?
- That's one of them dirty books, - It's not a dirty book,
- Yes, it is, - It's not a dirty book,
- This is one of them dirty,,, - It's not a dirty book,
Here's what I was thinking, Maybe you couId teach me enough to read that,
You know, where I couId just take it and go off and be by myseIf and read
and not bother anybody or anything,
''Fifi and LoIa Iuxuriate in the bathtub,,,''
- Is that one Fifi with the dark hair? - Yeah,
I knew it! (laughs)
- Ooh, Fifi's wiId! - Go on, read some more,
- I teII you what, - Yeah?
You take me to EI Paso, Texas, and by the time we get there,
you'II be abIe to take this book and read it by yourseIf,
I'm going to Idaho, We'II taIk about it in the morning, aII right?
You mind if I take one of them furs and use it as a bIanket?
- One of my furs? - One of them furs that you're not using,
- I'm using 'em aII, - You can't use aII of 'em,
I use 'em aII,
Look,,, you want a skin?
- This right here is,,, - (lsaiah shrieks)
That's a bowie knife, Jim gave it to me, Iong time ago,
Take that, go on out there and kiII yourseIf a critter and make a bIankie out of it,
(yawns)
Morning,
Maybe it's a good morning for you, but I had to sIeep on the ground,
- What you eating? - Your bIanket,
What kind of mountain man wouId kiII a IittIe oId defenseIess bunny?
You need to be hunting bear, mountain Iion,
Something that got a chance of kiIIing you,
- Want a Ieg? - OK,
I was thinking about what we were taIking about Iast night,
Idaho is very cIose to EI Paso,
so you can ride aIong with me,
But you gotta teach me to read,
It's a deaI,
- But you gotta teach me something too, - Like?
How to be a mountain man,
How to use a knife and hunt,
shoot a gun, tomahawk,
make a fire with rocks, make coffee,
skin a bear, make some pants out of it,
make my own bIanket,
make a hat with some fur around it,
track,
disappear,
and know which pIants not to touch, so I don't stick myseIf and bIeed to death,
(Cortina) Over the next several months,
the wise and wily mountain man handed down the secrets of survival
to his fervent pupil,
much the way Moses handed down the stone tablets:
The Kid learned rapidly:
Nature to him became second nature
and the wilderness became his home:
(donkey brays)
(laughs)
- I think you caught the Iast one, - Oh,
Stupid fish!
- You're making me mad now, - What's that?
This fish said, ''Hey, you are reaIIy stupid,''
(Otter Bob laughs)
(Bob) Good,
Good,
You can kiII a cup,
Thanks, Bob,
(Bob) Where'd you get that hat?
It's my daddy's hat,
- That's a Cherokee feather, - He was haIf Cherokee,
And your daddy was in many, many battIes,
He won 'em aII, You know how I know that?
- You see aII that on that feather? - Yeah,
Those IittIe marks here, they're caIIed ''coos,''
And each coo is a battIe that your daddy won,
Your daddy was a great warrior,
That he was,
Looks Iike we're getting cIose,
OK, I got three bobcats here, That's five apiece,
- That's right, - I got six otters,
- That's four doIIars apiece, right? - Oh, yeah, four apiece,
And I got one mountain Iion, ten doIIars apiece,
- You got a mountain Iion? - That's right,
You good, You good,
And one coyote, Three doIIars, right?
WeII, since it's you, I'II give you three doIIars for it,
OK, what does that mean? How much is that?
That's, uh,,,
That's a Iot, ain't it?
Carry that two, and,,,
- Oh, Bob, you a rich man, - Yeah,
I owe you $ 26,
No, sir, that's not $ 26,
- That's $52, - No, it's 26,
No, sir, that's $52,
C'mon, Bob, who you gonna beIieve?
Me or him?
WeII,,,
See, that young man's Iike a son to me,
And you, you're a Iyin', cheatin' son of a bitch,
C'mon, Bob, I'm just doing business, I've been fair,
I'm gonna beIieve him!
Oh!
You've been doing it for five years,
C'mon over here and get $52 and get that pigsticker out of him,
- You kiIIed him! - I hope I did,
You k,,,
I'II take a bottIe of whiskey for every year that son of a bitch cheated me,
- That'II be five bottIes, - So, now we're steaIing and kiIIing?
Yeah,
Euch,
What the heII?
Look, this ain't what it Iook Iike, He was cheating on us,,,
Wait a minute! HoId on! Bob, wait! Bob, wait!
(gunshot
Bob, Bob!
Wait! Bob, sIow down!
WiII you brighten up a IittIe bit? Nobody gonna find us here,
If they can't find us, they're not gonna do us any harm,
I ain't worried about nobody bothering us,
I'm just wondering why you trusted me today,
WeII, if a man can't trust his own best friend,
who can he trust?
- You my best friend too, Bob, - Yeah,
I ain't never had a drink, Bob,
WeII, it's about time then, isn't it?
- WiII it heIp me eat this Iizard? - It'II take the stink right off that Iizard,
Don't give me too much,
Yes, sir, you're gonna Iove that Iizard after this,
Bob, this is nasty,
This'II grow toenaiIs on a dead man,
I'm gonna have some more,
This Iizard reminds me of how I kiIIed my first bear,
You ain't kiIIed no bear,
You put it on a stick Iike we had it and you put it over the fire,
And they'II come sneaking up,,, (growls)
And then you jump right on their back - they don't even know what's happening
'cause they're so crazy about that Iizard,
- And you got him around the neck! - You was on his back?
- And you're choking him and choking him, - You was on his back?
I was on his back!
And I was choking him and I was choking him,,,
His eyebaIIs just went pop!
I mean they just popped right out, so I took out my knife and went,,,
And bam, he hit this oId tree,
And I took the knife and then I sIit his throat, right Iike that,
That's when I became a mountain man,
You're not a mountain man untiI you have kiIIed your first bear with your bare hands,
HoId this,
If you can remember what I taught you, then you wiII be a great bear-hunter,
I'm gonna go get a bear,
I have toId you everything that I know, how to do it, so I want you to,,,
Isaiah!
Son, I was just jokin'!
I didn't kiII him just with my hands!
I had a gun!
Here you go, come here,
Come here, bear,
- I got a nice Iizard! - (birds squawk
Don't you sneak up on me,
Hey, bear, here I come! I got a nice IittIe Iizard for you,
(growling)
(lsaiah screams)
(lsaiah) I got you! You got me!
(laughing)
He's smaII, but he's mean,
(laughing)
C'mon over here and have a drink, mountain man,
I'm a mountain man,
So you're teIIing me that he's hanging out with an oId-timer?
And you ain't gonna find him,
Otter Bob's sIy as a fox, He's the best mountain man in Texas,
He's the best mountain man?
Yeah?
WeII, I'm the best tracker in Texas,
You OK, Bob?
It's empty, I aIready toId you it's empty,
You finished it off two days ago,
Bob, wiII you just sit down?
BiIIy, I toId you not to drink any more!
Shut up, Bob!
- There's nobody,,, - Shut up!
I'II kiII you, you son of a bitch! I'II kiII you!
Put the gun down,
- I'II kiII ya! - Put the gun down,
- Don't move, don't move, - Bob,
Snake,
Don't move, I got it, don't move,
- What snake? - Right there,
I see it, don't shoot it, Let me get it, Don't shoot it,
It's a twig snake, I didn't see it at first,
Got it underneath my foot, right,,,
It's gone, it's OK now,
You saved my Iife, just give me the gun,
(Cortina) Totally unaware that Frank Bonner was thundering toward them,
the Kid and Otter Bob slept like little babies that night:
Good morning, Bob,
- Snake, - Bob, you're just haIIucinating,
Between your Iegs,
You're just confused, aII right?
He's a biggun,
That's my pet snake,
He's my friend,
- Gotta do it, - Bob, no, Bob,
Bob, no! Bob! God, no!
Aaagh!
(rattles)
- Thank you, - I feeI pretty good about it myseIf,
Mighty good sippin' whiskey,
There's pIenty more where that came from, oId-timer,
Now, Iook,,,
I've been tracking him for three months,
so why don't you just teII me where that nigger is?
''Nigger,''
I aIways thought that was an ugIy word, aImost as ugIy as you are,
(laughs)
Don't you ever sass me, oId man,
Sorry,
I'm getting,,,
sassy in my oId age,
If I couId have one more drink,,,
I beIieve I can give you the exact pIace where he's at,
Can I Iook at that picture one more time?
Go!
Go, Isaiah!
Aw, damn!
- (trap slams shut - Agh!
(gunshot
Agh!
Agh! Oh, God!
- Another day, - Oh, God! Oh, God,,,
Bob, you aII right? Bob!
No, I've been shot,
Listen, if you're gonna put me on a horse,
you put me on a whiskey horse, OK?
Put me on a whiskey horse,
- On a whiskey horse, one with a keg, - I know, I heard you,
Argh!
(gasping)
I must teII you,,, I gotta say my Iast words,
Now, don't interrupt me, You just shut up now, OK? These are my Iast words,
I done stopped most of the bIeeding, You're gonna be aII right,
The most important words I'm gonna say in my Iife,,,
Bob?
C'mon, Bob,
Bob, Bob!
- Bob! - What?
Oh, no,
The Iast word they'II remember me by,,,
The Iast thing they're gonna remember me ever saying is, ''What?''
Bob,
Now, I know you don't wanna go to heaven sober,,,
so here's one for the road,
(Cortina) And so::: as dear old Otter Bob was winging his way to the Great Beyond,
the Kid renewed his noble quest:
lt was then, one fortuitous day, that the saints in heaven led our hero
to the noblest, most proud and good-looking caballero
ever to lead the Mexican people into battle:
(Cortina) You think I am afraid of you?
I spit on you,
I am tired of you!
Just wait, too cIose!
I had a better conversation with a tumbIeweed!
I spit on you!
That's my hat!
You shouId go home to your papa, and get a whipping for having no brain!
Ahh!
Buenos dias:
This mud shouId heaI your face right up,
In three or four days, you'II be good as new,
Senor,
you have saved the Iife of a great Mexican patriot,
Juan Nepomuceno Cortina,
the man who time and again outsmarted the Texas Rangers,
That's good, now try and reIax,
The man who fearIessIy occupied the city of BrownsviIIe,
Trust me, you wanna reIax,
Cortina, the man who vowed to sacrifice his own happiness,,,
- Cortina! - Si, senor!
If you don't stop yammerin', this medicine ain't gonna work and you're gonna die,
OK,,,
I am a proud and nobIe descendant of Aztec and Spanish priests!
Priests who taught the worId how to torture a man!
Shh! Cortina!
Why do you think I'm out here?
In this hideout with aII the trees so no one can see me?
Because I'm in a IittIe troubIe with the Iaw and I just don't want them to find me!
I knew it,
The first time I Iook in your eyes, I knew,
You are a feIIow freedom fighter,
No,
- Liberacion, no? - No,
But you understand my passion, no?
No,
You're the quiet warrior,
No, I am not quiet, I'm tired,
Tired,
I am tired too, senor,
Tired of the gringos steaIing the Mexican Iands
with the Mexican names from the Mexican peopIe!
San Antonio, AmariIIo, EI Paso, Corpus Christi!
Oh, ''Corpus Christi is Latin,'' you say,
- I say nothing, - Oh, no, it's OK,
Did you ever think Mexico is nothing to me?
Yoo-hoo, senor,
What is your name, senor?
Bob,
Bab?
A smaII but fine name, Senor Bab,
Bob,
- Bab, - Bob,
Bob,
Bob, Oh, Bob, Claro, como no? That is different,
You reaIize, senor Bob,,,
you have saved the Iife of the hero of the Mexican peopIe, Juan,,,
- I got that part, - OK,
As a man of honor, I must now repay that enormous debt,
I teII you what, you go to sIeep, we'II caII it even, aII right?
No, no, no, no, no, I, Juan Nepomuceno Cortina,
hereby vow to foIIow and protect senor Bob
untiI such time as I in turn can save the Iife of senor Bob,
- Did you say, ''foIIow me''? - FoIIow,
No, No, no, no, no, no!
You wiII not foIIow me anywhere, do you understand me?
(Cortina) And so, recognizing the greatness each of us possessed,
my friend and l were inseparable from that day on:
Together, side by side,
we rode bravely toward the most wicked and godless town
in all the American West,
the very gateway to hell itself,
El Paso, Mexico:
- Lookie here! - HeIIo!
(woman) Sweetie, hey!
- (bartender What can I get you? - (lsaiah) Give me a whiskey,
Permiso, senor:
I want to try to pIay some cards with these cowboys,
OK,
What is this? That ain't whiskey,
(bartender That's EI Paso's best, sir,
That'II be a doIIar, partner,
I'm not your partner,,, and I'm not gonna give you a doIIar for this drink,
I'II settIe for 25 cents,
SampIe, if you wiII, the wonders of this amazing new scientific invention,
the brushing instrument for human teeth and dentaI pIates,
It expunges odor, eIiminates decay,
eradicates bIeeding gums and mouth pain,
AII the rage in London, Paris, New York and Cairo,
and yours, my friends, for onIy 25 cents,
- 25 cents! Any takers? - I gotta have one of those,
HeIp yourseIf,
Excuse me, 25 cents,
- Hey, Iadies, pIease! - Hey, give me one!
OK, one more,
Psst, psst,
Psst,
That's a mighty nice,,,
That's a mighty fine brushing instrument, ma'am,
You too, cowpoke,
Lookie who's caught in my IittIe trap,
(man) Party's over there, kids,
(man #1) C'mon, nice and easy,
Hey, stranger, you mighty quiet,
If you weren't breathing, I'd think you was dead,
Name's Isaiah Turner,
I'II be doggone!
You're Nat Love, ain't you?
WeII, Mr, Love, it is a priviIege to share the same jaiI ceII with you, sir,
I read aII your books, As a matter of fact,
I used to read it to the kids at the church where I taught,
You the baddest gunsIinger that ever Iived,
Is aII that stuff true?
Did you reaIIy corraI ten men by yourseIf at the RattIesnake Canyon?
- Been in a Iot of canyons, - And you robbed a bank with just a knife?
That's what they say,
You're just the man to teach me what I need to know,
I've been huntin' some men down, I need to work on my gunsIingin' skiIIs,
Sit back,
Enjoy the day,
Ain't got time to teach you nothing,
They're gonna hang me tomorrow,
WeII, Iook at you,
You about to be hung and,,,
you sitting there Iike you going to the barber to get a haircut,
If a man can't go out in a bIaze of gIory, he can at Ieast go with dignity,
I don't feeI Iike goin',
(sheriff) Morning, Mr, BIoomington! Look aIive, everybody!
WeII, weII, weII,
Looks Iike you've earned yourseIf a name,
''The Whorehouse Kid,''
- By God, that's a quaint IittIe moniker, - Look at you,
aII famous and fancy and Iegit now,
You've become quite a IittIe irritant to me, son, But, as mayor of this,,,
TaIkin' Iike butter won't meIt in your mouth,
As mayor of this fair city,
I've come to teII you that you're going to get a fair triaI,
- 'Cept for, I know what you reaIIy are, - And a fair hanging,
- A thief and a murderer, - Goddamn it!
I'm gonna kiII you, BIoomington,
You are going to get yours tomorrow,,, boy,
And I can't wait to see them sIip that noose around your neck,
and that Iook of pure terror come over your face,
just Iike your mama had that night that I shot her,
I'm gonna come back from my grave and I'm gonna kiII you,
(chuckles)
If my brother Jedediah was here he'd come through that door with his guns a-bIazin'
- and he'd break us outta here, - Jedediah?
- Turner? - You know him?
- Your brother? - Yeah,
He was a good man,
HeII of a gunfighter,
Had a cIassic showdown with another gun, caIIed himseIf ''the Undertaker,''
Jedediah took him, didn't he?
I know he's a great gunsIinger now, He always was good!
They say it was cIose, One for the books,
But your brother Iost,
Jedediah dead?
He kiIIed my brother?
You teII me where I'II find this dog caIIed ''the Undertaker,'' 'cause I'm gonna kiII him,
No, first I'm gonna kiII BIoomington, then I'm gonna kiII Bonner,
then I'm gonna put a buIIet in the head of this man caIIed ''the Undertaker,''
That's a whoIe heap of foIks to kiII,
For a man who ain't got no gun,
can't shoot,
and is presentIy incarcerated,
WeII, I'm gonna shoot him dead,
(snoring)
(Cortina) Psst, psst!
(Cortina) Bob!
- Cortina? - Psst,
- Psst, psst, - Cortina,
- Psst, - HeIp,
- They'II hang me, - WonderfuI!
I was hoping, So I'm saving your Iife, right? We'II be even, I owe you nothing, right?
- Right, - OK, you got it,
Come on, Nat, wake up,
O x, ya!
C'mon,
- (lsaiah) This is my friend, Nat Love, - (Cortina) Good to meet you, Nat Love,
Here's your horse, here's your gun, Even-steven, OK?
- It was good riding with you, Bob, - You too,
I got to go save the Mexican peopIe,
- You saved my Iife again! - I did not!
- Yes, you did, - He jumped out the window,
- He was kiIIing me! - He was not!
Every time I turn around you save my Iife! You make me absoIuteIy crazy!
- Nat, I'm goin' with you, - The heII you are, I ride aIone,
Nat, that's my horse!
- I gotta go with you, - What?
C'mon, Let's go!
HeIp me get up!
(Cortina) Pursued by 20 Texas Rangers,
with a pack of slavering bloodhounds nipping at our heels,
we rode together,
escorting senor Love to his secret hideaway:
Senor Love! Senor!
(lsaiah) Hey, I'm not pIaying with you!
(men) Nat! Nat!
I thought you were dead, boy! How you doin'?
Yeah, weII, they aImost stretched my neck for reaI this time, boys,
(man) How the heII are you, Nat?
Hey, don't shoot, don't shoot!
It is I, Juan Nepomuceno Cortina,
I springed you from the hoosegow back there!
- Where's the kid? - The kid? The kid,,,
He keeps faIIing off the back of my horse, It's a IittIe probIem we are working on,
No, don't you do it!
What part of, ''Stop, wait, I've faIIen down, wait for me'' do you not understand?
He was riding Iike the wind, I had to catch up with him,
- You Ieft me back there in the dirt! - I did not want to Ieave senor Love,
GentIemen, aIIow me to introduce my fearIess compadre,
Senor ''Isaiah'' Bob Turner,
Now, Iook, I thought I toId you not to foIIow me!
I know,,, but I had to,
I need your heIp, PIus, you stoIe my horse,
I ain't got time to be heIpin' you, Now go on, get on outta here!
C'mon, Nat, I saved your Iife,
That's right, you owe your Iife to this man,
You must protect this man, You must foIIow him and give him sheIter
untiI such time as you can save the Iife of this man,
- Shut up, - Shut up,
AII right, you can hoIe up for a coupIe of days,
As Iong as that feIIa keeps his trap shut,
Keep your mouth shut,
Come on,
Don't you get mad at me 'cause you can't stay on the horse!
I can't stay on the horse when you ride the horse with your big sombrero,
I can't see nothin' with your big sombrero! It kept hitting me in my eye!
Whoa!
- Who are you? - Isaiah,
Who are they?
- SpeciaI peopIe, - How you doin', Sister?
I got a whoIe Iot of speciaI peopIe around here,
How you doin', Sister?
HeIIo, Sister, Sister,
Let me give you a hand,
(laughs)
You Iook Iike a man, You smeII Iike a man, too,
Amen,
(man) Dig in, boys,
Um,,, my name's Isaiah Turner,
This is a reaIIy nice hideout you got here,
How ya doin'? I haven't met,,,
OK, You guys are pretty hungry,
I'm new at gunsIinging, so any kind of tips or pointers you couId show me,
I'd be wiIIing to,,, take into consideration,
Hey!
Use a damn fork, Graham,
(laughter
(man) He can't hit nothing,
(yells)
(man) Try again!
Bob, no! No, Bob!
No, no, no!
No me mate! No quick draw,
We either gonna have to kiII that kid, or teach him how to shoot,
We don't get shot at this much when we're robbin' banks,
Shoot this,
AII right, put it down on the rock,
No, Shoot it out of my hand,
- C'mon, Nat, - Shoot it,
If you hit me,,, I'm gonna kiII ya,
Nat, this ain't funny, c'mon,
Shoot it,
Every time you shoot at someone, pIan on dying,
AII right,
(woman) C'mon, Nat, get up on that horse!
(cheering)
Whoa!
Wooo!
(lsaiah) That was great!
That's how l wanna ride,
You need to be confident, Bob,
- The probIem is getting up onto the horse, - That's hard,
Yes,
OK, Iet's try it again, Put the foot in the stirrup, OK?
Just remember, no fighting in the bank,
This hand gets the reigns,
You don't have the reigns, you have no controI,
You ready? You go up, OK?
- I Iike when you don't hoIIer at me, - I'm so sorry I hoIIered at you,
OK? One, two, three, hup,
- Looks pretty good, don't it? - It Iooks good, yeah,
- (Nat Hey, get off that horse, - I just got on it,
He's jeaIous,
You know, ridin' a horse is a Iot Iike being with a woman,
Ah!
OK, just so I understand this correctIy,
what part of ridin' a horse is Iike being with a woman?
Nat, the greenhorn's a virgin!
I am not! I am not a virgin!
(man) Boy ain't never had no sugar dumpIings!
- (laughter and applause) - Oh, don't cIap for me!
If you knew how many women I been with, y'aII wouId be in there prayin' right now!
Boy ain't nothin' but a cherry, that's what he is!
I been with so many women, I can't remember aII their names!
(whistles)
It's aII right, Mary got the medicine for ya,
- I don't need your heIp, - C'mon, now, Mary ain't gonna hurt ya,
- Just give you a IittIe ridin' Iesson, - Get away from me,
Come here, boy! Come here!
Go ahead, Mary, show him!
(man) Show him, show him!
Ow! Ow!
- Don't hurt me, Mary! - Mary ain't gonna hurt you,
- Mary's gonna fix what troubIes you, - Nat!
- Good Iuck, Bob! - (bleating)
(laughing)
(lsaiah) Nat, she ain't got no drawers!
(man) Whoo!
(man) Yeah! Ride him, cowboy!
(man) AII right!
(man) He's a bronc rider!
I'd say the boy's fixed,
He's been practicing,
I teII her, ''Maria, drink this tequiIa, take off your cIothes,''
''You wiII see God!''
''I wiII bring him to you!''
Boys, now come on, why did you caII us here?
The kid needs a name,
How 'bout ''Dusty Butt''?
He's stiII wet behind the ears,
- Let's caII him ''Runt Boy,'' - Oh, uh-uh, honey,
- Ain't nothin' runty about that boy, - (laughter
I broke him, I say l shouId name him,
- (man) How's about ''Happy''? - It's about pride,
Man's gotta have a name that he can be proud of,
You know? What are you proud of, son?
My daddy,
He died fighting for something he beIieved in,
- He was haIf Cherokee, - ''The Cherokee Kid,''
Oh, wait now, I've got it, ''BuffaIo Red,''
- ''BuffaIo Bob,'' - Not ''Bob,''
- His name is not Bob, - No, Iisten to me,,,
What about ''Rusty Red''?
- ''Cherokee Kid,'' - Ah-ah-ah,,,!
I got it,
- ''The Cherokee Kid,'' - AII right, Nat, now that's a name,
That's a good one, Nat, ''The Cherokee Kid,''
- WeII, do I Iook Iike a gunsIinger? - You Iook Iike the Cherokee Kid,
I've been meaning to ask you,,,
- Where did the shirt come from? - That's BiIIy's,
He's not with us anymore,
- Where we headed, Nat? - Reserve bank in Pecos,
It's BIoomington's biggest bank, easy target,
Let's move it!
Those are the charges and the amount,
- HoId on, sir, - I want that amount,,,
CouId I pIease have some money for the poor?
- Sorry, Sister, - Pretty pIease, It's for charity, you know,
- No can do, - Oh,
How about if I show you a IittIe of this?
Anybody move, I'II bIow ya straight to heII,
Pay attention,
Let's move it, Iadies!
(Mary) Get! Ho!
Go on now!
We've just been robbed by a bunch of gun-totin' nuns
and that man!
Whoa, whoa,
Phew! That was fun,
You're the quickest doggone study I've ever seen,
WeII, you're the best teacher I've ever had,
You got pIaces to go,,,
and peopIe to kiII,
- We'II meet up again sometime, - Thanks, Nat, I ain't gonna forget you,
C'mon!
(Cortina) That was the last time l saw senor Nat Love:
But he is a man of such character, such,,,
bearing, such,,,
cojones,
he wiII Iive within my bosom forever,
(Cortina) The Kid knew if Bloomington was elected governor
he would control everything: the money, the land, the people:
Plus, it would be a whole lot harder to kill him:
So he took the excellent advice of yours truly
and set out to make Bloomington crazy enough to come to him:
He realized robbing his banks would be a nice way to get his attention
and to humiliate him in the eyes of the public:
Excuse me, we're taking a photograph here,
Oh, yeah? We're robbin' a bank here,
Hey, take the picture!
- Give me aII your money, por favor: - OK, just one minute, Mr, Kid?
The Cherokee Kid?
Hi, Hi,
- We're oId friends, - What are you doin' here?
WeII, I got promoted, then transferred,
I got a new job, too, I rob banks,
- Ta-da, - You got the apron!
They gave me an apron, It's got the hand embroidery,
It doesn't have your name, but it has those IoveIy fIoraI patterns,
Oh, here, wait,
Don't forget your money,
- Thanks for your patronage, - Give me my gun,
Or robbery-age,
Idiot!
(Cortina) Bloomington was fed up:
He sent for the most cold-blooded gunslinger in all the West,
the Undertaker,
and 20 other snarling jackals:
My onIy recourse was to turn to you gentIemen,
professionaIs, to get the job done,
Now this,,, bag of goId coins,,,
wiII go to the first man to deIiver any of the Kid's indispensabIe body parts to me,
aIong with some identifiabIe portion of his anatomy,
His,,, head wiII do,
(laughter
He's mine,
- Not unIess I get to him first, - Whoa, friend,
Word of advice,,,
I hear Cherokee's pretty tricky,
You right-handed or southpaw?
Southpaw, why?
Guess he'd better start practicing with his right,
Like I said, he's mine,
(Bloomington) There's a chaIIenge for you, gentIemen,
Go get him,
WeII, Mr, Undertaker,
you,,,
certainIy are a,,,
I couId do this,
The goId's for any man that can get him,
- I don't need no goId, - (laughs)
WeII, go get him then for free,
(lsaiah) Excuse me, ma'am?
WouId you consider seIIing us some fresh horses?
We don't cotton to your kind around here,
''My kind''? My kind's your kind,
My kind don't go around knockin' over banks and robbin' IittIe oId Iadies,
so just turn around and get!
(man) God AImighty, it's the Cherokee Kid!
AbigaiI, that's the Cherokee Kid!
- Ma! - (woman) What?
- It's the Cherokee Kid! - Oh!
You cIimb on off that horse and rest yourseIf there, Mr, Cherokee,
AbigaiI, you go on in the kitchen and set a tabIe, girI,
We got famous company for dinner,
Where I'm from, ma'am, when your pa asks you to do something, you hop to,
- (man) AbigaiI, hop to! - (Ma) Come on, baby,
Thank you, ma'am,
Like I said, I'm in a jaiI ceII, waiting to be hung the next morning,
then my compadre here breaks the waIIs down to get me out of there,
So I'm shootin' my way out, buIIets fIyin' everywhere,
I reckon then, Cherokee, that's why they upped your reward to $5,000,
That's a Iot of money,
TeII us about that bank you cracked open with that cannonbaII,
No, no! I wanna hear how you robbed Texas Ranger payroII,
- Texas Rangers, - Ranger payroII?
Now, that is an interesting story, but the PinedaIe bank,,,
- PinedaIe! - That was the most frightening,
IncredibIe,
You got the bank guards on one side,
You got that bIoodthirsty, no-good Jake Carver gang,,,
(all gasp)
Abby!
5,000 goes a Iong way to heIping us keep our Iand!
TaIk to me, Bob,
Why you got me tied up?
And why did you hit me on the head?
We ain't no fooIs,
- We know you come to rob us, - Rob you?
Why wouId I wanna rob poor peopIe? You ain't got nothing to take,
- I'm Iookin' for BIoomington, - Uh-huh, uh-huh!
He's workin' for the man who's tryin' to steaI our Iand! Perfect!
Workin' for him? I'm huntin' that man down!
- He kiIIed my ma and my pa, - You Iie Iike a pig in mud,
You think I'm Iyin'? Go out there and Iook at my horse,
Get some of them BIoomington bank bags I've been robbing,
Go ahead and take 'em, take 'em aII!
- Ma, - Pa,
We don't want your stinkin' money!
(both) We don't?
You ain't got enough money to give him, no way,
He don't want your money, he wants your Iand,
You know, Ma, Cherokee may be right,
- No, - I mean, the man is everywhere,
He's got his hands in the bank,
the raiIroad, government,
AbigaiI, I don't think we can rightIy fight that man,
I can,
We can't afford you!
WeII, since I was gonna kiII him anyway, I'II do it for free,
You just shut up your face!
Don't you go fiIIin' my ma and pa's head with your fabrications and your faIsehoods!
Let me teII you something,,,
Let me teII you something,
Next time you tie a man up, use a proper knot,
You know, for a pretty woman, you got an ugIy attitude,
Thanks for aII your hospitaIity, but I got to be going,
But I'II be back, Abby,
(Cortina) I thank you aIso,
and I assure you that I respect your strange manners,
I wouId Iike to return some day to try to understand you!
Madre de Dios!
- What'd he say? - ''Goodbye''?
I think she Iikes me,
Where the heck is my rifIe?
- Abby, no! - Wait a minute! That's company, girI!
Come on, giddy up!
HeII, AbigaiI, I ain't never seen you miss before,
WeII,,,
it's dark,
(Pa) Mm-hm,
That's him right there,
I'm Iooking for Sirus BIoomington,
(man) It's a coincidence, Cherokee,
Undertaker's out Iookin' for you:
- Is that so? - Best watch your back,
Undertaker's not the onIy bIoodsucker gunnin' for you,
BIoomington's goId's put a bee in a Iot of nasty good-for-nothin' bonnets,
WeII, I'II keep that in mind,
And if your ass had eyebaIIs, you'd be Iooking at the nastiest one!
Ooh,
I don't have no quarreI with you, unIess you want one,
Agh!
Now, y'aII teII this ''Undertaker'' I want a rendezvous with him tomorrow,
high noon on Main Street,
- You got that? - Yeah,
What in the heII's a ''rendezvous''?
(Cortina) That afternoon, as Bloomington's bloodthirsty vultures
descended upon Larabee,
the Kid went back to the one ladybird who had caught his eye:
What do you want? Ain't you had enough?
WeII, I,,,
I figure, a woman shoot at me four times, I need to see her again,
WeII, I don't wanna be seen with you, so just move on, mister,
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, I must be makin' your husband jeaIous,
I don't have a husband,
- Say that again, - I said, I don't have a husband,
Why, I'm shocked, Miss Abby,
that some man wouIdn't wanna be hit by you with a frying pan on a daiIy basis,
And I'm shocked that for a man who might be meetin' his maker tomorrow,
you acting awfuIIy chipper,
I'm not the man who's gonna be meeting his maker tomorrow,
You sure?
I'm sure,
WeII,,, I'm gonna say a prayer for you anyway, whether you Iike it or not!
I appreciate that, Miss Abby,
See you Iater, Cherokee Kid,
Yesterday,,,
when the Kid rode into town,
he was as ready as I ever saw,
He was ready!
He was the most,,,
The best,,,
He was the best man I ever knew,
BIoomington wants him in the ground right now,
You don't touch that coffin, We'II carry it out ourseIves,
AII right,
This seems Iike a proper pIace to end this story,
We don't care to hear your side,
No, but you're gonna, so shut up and Iisten,
Yesterday morning when I first saw the Kid I couId teII he was rattIed,
So you're the Undertaker,
I just wanna Iook in the eyes of the man that shot my brother before I kiII him,
Cherokee feather,,,
I'm gonna take that after I kiII you,
Word of advice: don't mistake stupidity for courage,
Now it's your turn to die,
Sweet dreams,
''Sweet dreams,''
which is what I aIways toId my IittIe brother when I tucked him in at night,
Oh, my,,,
I toId you I'd come back from my grave to kiII you,
I knew it!
Where the heck is my rifIe?
Bob, I'm so happy to see you!
I knew it!
I'm going after BIoomington,
(lsaiah) Jed, I'm coming!
- These furs are heavy, - Come on! I got you, Bob!
Jed, cover me!
Let's go,
Take it easy, You OK?
Oh, no! I've been better, Bob,
For a man so good with words,
that was the sorriest euIogy I ever heard in my Iife,
Now that I'm dying, I hope you do better for me,
PIease, you're too conceited to die,
No matter what happens, IittIe brother, it's been the happiest day of my Iife,
- Me too, Let's finish it, - Come on,
I'II be right back,
Let's do it,
Where the heII's BIoomington?
Where that coward aIways is, trying to get away,
BIoomington,
Just stop what you're doing, BIoomington,
Not so tough by yourseIf, are you?
You're not gonna shoot a man in the back, are ya?
WouIdn't bother me none, Remember, you kiIIed my mama,
Yeah, but that's because I was reaIIy young and fooIish,
I mean, I'm reaIIy sorry about that,
I was workin' for the raiIroad then, and now the raiIroad is workin' for me:
What if we couId become partners maybe?
HeII, I've got more money than you couId ever steaI,
I'II be governor next year, more than IikeIy,
WeII, what do you say?
You know what? You're a pathetic oId man,
You're not even worth a buIIet,
Ah-ha!
That was for my mama,
(gun cocking)
(gunshot
(speaking Native American)
We Iost a good friend,
My teacher, Like a father to me,
I'm gonna miss you, Nat,
- Thank you, - Kid,
(lsaiah) So, Jed, when did you start caIIing yourseIf ''the Undertaker''?
WeII, I got in some troubIe a whiIe back, IittIe brother, and had to disappear,
Just Iike Mama taught me, I kiIIed myseIf off, buried myseIf,
and named my new seIf ''the Undertaker,''
WeII, I aImost got buried back there, You aImost hit me,
- You aImost shot my ear off, - It's a good thing I drew first,
You,,,? Who drew first?
You gettin' deaf in your oId age? I drew first,
- Did not, - Did so,
- No, you did not, - Yes, I did,
- You did not! - Where are you goin'?
- Did not, - Did,
WeII, I figured I'd go out west, get a chance to know my brother better,
Besides, there's some more wrongs got to be right,
You kiIIed your enemies, you avenged your parents' death,
you even found your Iong-Iost brother,
Isaiah, you don't have to be the Cherokee Kid no more,
I know I don't have to be, but I kinda Iike being the Cherokee Kid,
Besides, I'm good at it, I Iike being a gunsIinger,
WeII, I'd best be going,
(Cortina) OK, Hasta la vista, compadre:
- And where do you think you're going? - I'm going!
Didn't I just save your Iife?
Oh, Bob!
- OK, - AII right,
Take care, Miss Abby,
Woman, what is wrong with you?
You ain't ridin' off into no damn sunset without me!
(lsaiah) C'mon, then, You better keep up!
(Cortina whistles) Bob, this way!
(lsaiah) I know,
The sun got in my eyes!