我改了你们上周五的读书报告 I have graded your book reports from last Friday...
等我发完后 我们再来讨论 and after I pass them out,we'll discuss them.
马修斯 Ah, Mr. Matthews.
我该一如既往地表示失望 Shall I express my usual disappointment...
还是让你今晚带领我滑雪橇呢 or just ask you to guide my sleigh tonight?
你搞错节日了 菲尼老师 万圣节要来了 Uh, wrong holiday, Mr. Feeny.See, Halloween's coming up...
我只是试戴一下我的小丑鼻子 and I was just test driving my clown nose.
那你一定得继续保持这个状态 Then I insist you stay in the driver's seat.
把红鼻子戴回去 Put the nose back on...
整个上午都不许摘 for the rest of the morning.
明库斯 一如既往的优秀 Mr. Minkus,excellent work as usual.
我特别喜欢 I particularly enjoyed your haiku...
你表现亚哈船长对捕捉大白鲸的执着时用的俳句 on Captain Ahab's obsession with the great white whale. 注：他们的读书报告是关于《白鲸记》的。
平静的蓝色海洋 "The calm blue ocean.
太阳照亮了怪物的双眼 "Sun lights up the monster's eye.
他把我当成 白鲸的食物 He sees me... whale food."
非常有水平 It works on so many levels.
- 马屁精 - 类人猿 - Brown-noser. - Troglodyte.
路易斯 写得不错 Mr. Lewis, very good work.
马修斯 不够用心 Mr. Matthews,not one of your better efforts.
亨特 Mr. Hunter.
这不公平 瑞克和我都得了C Hey, this isn't fair.Rick and I both got Cs.
你为什么表扬他做得好 How come you tell him he did good work...
却批评我不够用心 and you tell me it wasn't one of my better efforts?
能请小丑先生到讲台过来一下吗 Would Bozo please come to the center ring? 注：Bozo是美国60年代备受欢迎的小丑角色。
路易斯学习得很努力才得到C Mr. Lewis worked very hard to get his C...
我尊重他的劳动成果 and I respect him for that.
而你 恰恰相反 You, on the other hand,
把精力都花在扮小丑上了 waste your efforts on being the class clown.
你怎么总是挑我的刺呢 菲尼老师 How come you always pick on me,Mr. Feeny?
你为什么不说明库斯 How come you never pick on Minkus?
你脑袋被门挤了吗 马修斯 Have you taken a blow to the head, Mr. Matthews?
斯图尔特·明库斯从来都是A Stuart Minkus gets nothing but As.
如果还有比A更高的分数 他肯定也能做到的 If there was a letter before "A," he would get that.
这就是他为所欲为的原因啊 I guess that's why he gets away with so much.
他怎么为所欲为了 And just what does he get away with?
为什么我折纸飞机时 Well, how come when I make paper airplanes...
就会被留堂 而他不会 I get detention,and he doesn't?
我收回刚才的问题 I Withdraw the question.
淘小子看世界
错漏在所难免 欢迎指正新浪微博@小仙女不想起名
智力测试
淘小子看世界 S01E06
你在等我吗 You waited for me?
难道我不是你的死党吗 Am I not your best friend?
你也被留堂了 对不对 You had detention, too,didn't you?
没错 恩格斯老师把我留的唐 Oh, yeah. Mrs. Engles nailed me.
你美术课都能被留堂 How'd you get detention in art?
这也是我之所以伟大的原因之一 Well, that's what makes me one of the greats.
快考 考试答案哎 Check this out,answers to a test.
肖恩 Shawn.
我们不能偷看答案 We can't be looking at test answers.
这可是作弊啊 会被留堂一辈子的 That's major cheating,detention for life.
不 这些不是真正考试的答案 No, these aren't for a real test.
是明天那破智力测试的答案 They're for that stupid lQ exam we're taking tomorrow.
等会 让我看看 Wait a minute.Let me take a look at this.
谁要是知道答案 就能考个好成绩了 The person who knows these answers gets a perfect score.
这个考试的成绩根本就不重要 On a test that doesn't even count for a grade.
- 何必呢 - 你没搞错吧 - Why bother? - Are you kidding?
这可是能让菲尼不再找我麻烦我的机会啊 This is my one ticket to get Feeny off my back.
要是菲尼认为我是个天才 If Feeny thinks I'm a genius...
他就会像对待明库斯一样善待我了 he'll treat me just as good as he treats Minkus.
科里 对自己好点 Hey, Cory,do yourself a favor.
把这纸条揉碎 扔进垃圾桶里 Crumple the paper up,throw it away in the trash.
别把你的生活弄得复杂 Don't complicate your life.
你说的很对 You know,that makes a lot of sense...
如果我是个聪明人 我可能会听你的 and if I was a smarter person,I'd probably listen to you...
只可惜我不是个聪明人 except I'm not a smarter person...
但明天 我会成为一个天才 But tomorrow,I'm going to be a genius.
周二智力测试的结果出来了 I have in my hands the results of Tuesday's lQ test...
这里有人应该被特别提及 and one person here deserves special mention.
他不仅获得我们班的最高分 This person achieved not only the highest score in the class
也不仅是我们学校的最高分 not only the highest score in the school
而是分数高到会产生这个问题 but a score so high as to give rise to the question
“人类的智商真的有上限吗” "ls there, in fact, a ceiling on human intelligence?"
别这么说 菲尼老师 你这样让我感到尴尬 Please, Mr. Feeny,you're embarrassing me.
明库斯 你是第二名 Mr. Minkus, you came in second.
- 第二 - 没错 - Second? - Uh-huh.
因为没有第一名吗 As in the context of not first?
有人在智力测试中得的分数比我还高 Someone scored higher than I did on the lQ test?
在学术上把你打得落花流水 Blew you out of the academic water.
我们教室中有人是 Someone sitting in this very classroom
年轻的克尔凯郭尔 is a junior Kierkegaard. 注：Kierkegaard是丹麦哲学家、神学家及作家，一般被视为存在主义之父。
- 是谁 - 一个伟人 马修斯 - A what? - A great mind, Mr. Matthews...
就像你一样 just like yours.
我确实低估了你 我向你的聪明才智鞠躬 I have clearly underrated you,and I bow to your genius.
来吧 Come on.
棒极了 Bravo.
没什么大不了的 菲尼老师 It's no big thing, Mr. Feeny.
恰恰相反 马修斯 这可是件大事啊 On the contrary, Mr. Matthews,it is a big thing.
这是件很大的事啊 It is a very big thing.
糟了 Uh-oh.
我们明天再给你买万圣节装扮 行吗 We'll buy your Halloween costume tomorrow, oK?
雪莉·费古斯的妈妈 Shelly Figus' mom...
今天都给她买万圣节装扮了 is buying Shelly Figus her costume today.
雪莉·费古斯的妈妈肯定比你妈好 Well, Shelly Figus must have a better mom than you do.
你的机会来了 好好表现 Here's your chance to try a little harder.
嗨 老妈 嗨 鼬鼠 Hi, mom. Hi, weasel.
埃里克 你可以和摩根玩会吗 Eric, can you stay with Morgan for an hour...
我要带顾客看房子 while I show a house?
没问题 你想学着当个大姑娘吗 Sure. You want to learn how to be a big girl?
当然 Yeah.
因为大姑娘们会倒垃圾 Because big girls know how to take out the garbage...
这样他们的哥哥就不用倒了 so their brothers don't have to.
真的么 你要教我怎么倒垃圾吗 Really? You'd teach me how to take out the garbage?
- 没错 - 你当我傻吗 - Yep. - What am I, an idiot?
我要万圣节装扮 I want my Halloween costume.
没啥大不了的 老妈 我会帮她挑的 It's no big deal, mom.I'll help her pick one out.
是么 Oh, would you?
没错 如果你能开车送我们去商店 Yeah. If you could just drop us off at the store...
我再叫老爸下班后顺路来接我们 I'll have dad pick us up on his way home from work.
你有意见吗 Is that oK with you?
我爱死埃里克了 I love Eric.
准备好了没 Ready?
上来吧 小鼬 Hop on, Weez.
嗨 Oh, hi.
没空 老妈 好多作业 我得走了 Can't talk, mom,lot of homework. Got to go.
他说得对 Yeah. What he said.
- 捅什么篓子了吗 - 没错 - Something terrible? - oh, yeah.
必须的 Absolutely.
菲尼知道了 Feeny knows.
不知道他怎么知道的 他会毁了我的 Somehow he knows,and he's going to get me.
你错了 You're wrong.
你觉得他只是写封感谢信给我父母吗 You think he's just sending a thank you note to my parents?
“谢谢你们含辛茹苦地抚养儿子长大 他是个天才 "Thank you for bringing up your son. He's a genius.
比克尔凯郭尔还聪明” He's smarter than Captain Kirkaguard."
你在干什么 What are you doing?
那密封的信封是给我父母的 That's a sealed envelope addressed to my parents.
他们现在肯定知道我看过了 Now they're going to know I opened it.
科里 你父母有给别人写过信吗 Corey, do your parents ever write letters to anyone?
有 Yeah.
他们写信时 把信放在哪里 And when they do,what do they put the letters in?
信封 Envelopes.
就像这个一样 Just like this one.
我们可以拆开信来看 So we could read the note.
然后把信装到新的信封中去 And seal it back up in a new white envelope.
我们真是太聪明了 Ha! I love how we think.
信里面写什么 What's it say?
糟了 他找来了S.E.A Uh-oh.He's bringing in the S.E.A.
- 什么 - 国家教育局 - What? - The State Education Authority.
他们有专门处理智力欺诈的特工 They have special field agents who handle intelligence fraud.
我完蛋了 我完蛋了 肖恩 I'm cooked! I'm cooked, Sean!
我有生以来第一次 真的摊上大麻烦了 For the first time in my life,I'm in real trouble.
如果这都是我编的 就未必了 Not if I'm making all this up.
- 是编的么 - 不是 - Are you? - No.
我完蛋了 I'm cooked!
淡定 我当然是编的啦 Relax.Of course I'm making it up.
他只是想找你父母谈话 He just wants to talk to your parents.
要是他告诉我父母 他不认为我是天才怎么办 What if he tells them he doesn't think I'm a genius?
谁在乎菲尼觉得你是否聪明 Who cares if Feeny doesn't think you're brilliant?
只要测试结果是就好了啊 As long as the test says so.
但我不是天才 我父母也知道 But I'm not,and my parents know I'm not.
那你就让他们相信你是天才 Then you'll have to make them think you are.
- 我该怎么做 - 面对现实吧 科里 - How do I do that? - Get with the program, Cory.
今天是万圣节 你今年可以假扮天才 It's Halloween, and this year you're going as a genius.
科里·马修斯 Well, Cory Matthews...
你是在听古典乐吗 is that classical music you're listening to?
那只是棒球比赛期间的广告 Oh, that was just a commercial during the baseball game.
- 卖大提琴的吗 - 大概吧 - Oh, selling cellos, were they? - Yeah, I guess so.
大师 我们已经看见你戴着费城人手指 Come on, maestro, we saw you conducting that symphony...
在指挥交响乐了 with your Phillies finger.
这不是交响乐 老爸 It wasn't a symphony, dad.
这是贝多芬的降E大调钢琴协奏曲 It was just Beethoven's Piano Concerto in "E" Flat.
科里 我们刚在学校和菲尼谈完话 Cory, we just came from school,talking to Mr. Feeny.
我们知道智力测试的事了 We know about the lQ test.
- 是么 - 是的 - You do? - We do.
你们知道什么了 So, what do you know?
我们知道你的分数超级高 Well, we know that you scored very high.
是学区有史以来的最高分 The highest in the history of the school district.
我不想被特殊对待 I don't want to be treated any differently.
我没打算那么做 I wouldn't think of it.
科里 你爸和我有个疑问 Cory, your father and I are having a little trouble...
为什么你的智力测试分数这么高 understanding why your lQ test scores are up here...
而你的成绩单上的分数 却这么低 and your report cards are, well, down here.
我也很疑惑 老妈 You know, I've been giving that some thought, too, mom.
我觉得是公共教育体制 I've decided that what you're seeing...
的缺陷 is the flaw in our public education system.
我观察到缺陷了 Yeah, I'm seeing the flaw.
因为我觉得 Because the way I see it...
我没有挂了体制 是体制把我挂了 I didn't fail the system,the system failed me.
你就是这么看待的吗 That's the way you see it?
不然还能怎样呢 老爸 What other explanation could there be, dad?
- 妈咪 - 在这呢 小天使 - Mommy! - Up here, angel face.
我不清楚 小科 I don't know, Cor...
我当了15年的母亲 It's just seems that after 15 years of being a mother...
我以为我足够了解自己的孩子 I'd like to think I know my own children.
我是僵尸 I'm a zombie.
我的小妹妹是不是很可怕 Is my little sister hideous or what?
- 嗨 埃里克 - 非常恐怖 - Hi, Eric. - Very gruesome.
僵尸牙呢 Blackout teeth?
这才是我家的小闺女 Ooh. That's my little girl.
没有灰姑娘的装扮吗 There were no Cinderella costumes?
成百上千的 Hundreds of them.
你非要选个头上带刀的吗 And you had to choose axe in the head here?
这是最后一套 It was the last one.
这眼珠子不错嘛 Ooh, nice hanging eyeball.
我希望能摩根自己选择装扮 I wanted Morgan to choose her own costume.
She did choose it, mom.She wanted to be a zombie.
Eric, 24 hours ago, she didn't know what a zombie was.
The undead are cool.
Shawn, this whole thing is getting out of hand.
Relax. Everybody thinks you're brilliant.
You should enjoy it.
When it was just Feeny, I could enjoy it.
But now my parents are involved, and I don't like lying to them.
- You don't? - No.
'Cause it gives me a little rush.
Besides, you didn't tell them you were a genius, Feeny did.
And I didn't tell Feeny I'm a genius.
The test did. And you didn't ask to take the test.
They gave it to me.
And you wouldn't have even seen the answers...
- if they didn't give us... - Detention.
We're innocent victims.
Nothing we do is actually our fault.
It's good to be kids.
- I don't get it. - What?
If you're smarter than I am...
how come you're always trying to copy from my paper?
- Uh... - He's not copying, Minkus.
He's just glancing over to admire...
the work of a fellow genius.
- You are? - He is.
I am.
Oh, well, that's oK. In fact, from now on...
I'll kind of tip my test papers up...
so you can admire the answers even easier.
- Would you do that? - No.
Genius envy.
[BELL RINGS]
Class, this is Miss Chin.
She'll be with you for the first half hour...
while I have a word with Mr. Matthews.
Tell my mom I went out like a man.
Mr. Matthews, I brought you down here...
in case there was anything you cared to say to me.
Uh, about what, Mr. Feeny?
Oh, I don't know. Sports, the weather...
the inevitable ramifications of deception.
- I choose sports. - Too bad.
How come?
Your new school doesn't have any.
You know, for a minute there...
I thought you said new school. Ha ha ha!
I did.
One that offers an entire curriculum...
geared toward students like yourself.
No mindless distractions...
such as baseball, football, basketball.
Wait a minute. What do they do for fun?
They study.
- What do they do for exercise? - They study till they sweat.
No sports teams at all?
Well, they have a highly spirited chess team.
Chess?
You know, Mr. Feeny, I'm thinking...
as fun as that sounds...
I feel like the smart kids at that school...
don't really need me.
You and my friends here need me.
Oh, but we'd be holding you back.
No. You wouldn't. Um, I could help you teach a class.
You and I, we'd be like a team.
Two men with I.Q.s working together...
for the good of all these deserving kids.
No, I think we'll just have to muddle through without you.
The school district is committed...
to giving gifted children everything they deserve...
and I think you deserve everything you're going to get.
I don't really think I deserve anything.
Oh, but according to the test, you do.
Mr. Feeny, I'm smart enough to know...
you don't really think I'm a genius.
Mr. Matthews, it no longer matters what I think.
What matters is you're no longer in my class.
Don't you love Halloween? No one is what they seem to be.
OK, I'm here. What's the big emergency?
Hey! What are you trying to do, kill me?
Kill you? I'll tell you about killed.
- How about what you did to me? - What'd I do?
Where are you spending your next recess?
Playground, shooting hoops, playing ball?
So?
So let me tell you what I'm doing.
I'm searching for Bobby Fischer!
What are you talking about?
Geniuses go to a special school.
Did you know that? You killed me.
I'm going to be in a class full of Minkuses.
Wait a minute. What am I talking about?
These kids make Minkus look like Fabio.
Wait a minute. They're putting you in another school?
Yes. The lady is going to be here in a half an hour...
and they're going to give me another genius test...
and then they're going to take me away.
So I just called you up to say good-bye.
Or as geniuses say, good-bye in Latin.
- Hey, idiot. - What?
- Are you a genius? - No.
Do you have the answers to this test?
No.
You kind of see where I'm going with this?
You want me to throw the test?
Oh, no, no. I want you to take the test...
to the best of your ability.
And no guessing.
I wouldn't want you to stumble onto a right answer.
So, Mrs. Matthews, you're a housewife?
Uh, Amy's a homemaker.
She wrangles three kids, runs this house...
and still manages to sell real estate quite successfully.
And I understand you work in a grocery store.
Well, Alan is the manager...
of the largest supermarket in this whole area.
Ah. Tradesmen are so important and yet so little respected.
Mommy? Can I have cookies?
No, honey. It's too close to dinner.
You realize, don't you, that her clothes don't match?
We let her pick out her own clothes.
We feel it encourages Morgan's creativity.
Indeed. Well, if yours are the genes...
that have produced our darling Cory...
then perhaps you've done it again...
with young Morgan here.
Shall we try a word-association problem?
- OK. - Maple is to elm...
as daisy is to...
Booger?
You may go.
Change your clothes.
Genetics is so hit or miss.
All done.
Why, Cory, most students need...
at least a full hour for this test.
I'll just get out the answer template.
And that should confirm...
What we already know.
Hmm...
- Hmm... - Hmm...
Well, Cory, if I'm to believe the results of this test...
then your I.Q. would be...
about that of an average sixth grader.
Yup, that's me. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Did you really think you'd get away with it, Cory?
No, I guess I knew I'd be caught from the beginning.
I guess we knew that, too.
- Cory cheated. - I'm not a genius.
You'd like us to believe that, wouldn't you, Cory?
- Huh? - Huh?
Your son is manifesting typical behavior for a young genius.
But I'm not smart. Look at your answer sheet.
It says I'm a moron. I know it does.
He doesn't want to leave his old school...
and all his friends.
That is why you cheated on this test, isn't it, Cory?
Yes. Well, no, but...
Look, when I said I cheated, I didn't mean this test.
I meant the first test...
the one Feeny gave us that said I was a genius.
- Cory... - No. Please. Don't talk.
Every time you talk, you make me sound smart.
Look, mom, dad...
I found the answers to Feeny's test and memorized them.
I'm not a genius.
We kind of figured that.
You did?
Yeah, but we're glad you finally decided to come clean.
You'll excuse me, but there are actual prodigies out there...
who deserve my attention and respect.
I can't waste my time with normal people like you.
Well, you'll excuse me, but normal people like us...
have raised our children to be normal kids.
I'm sorry if they don't fit...
some arbitrary intellectual standard of yours.
But we're not sorry...
that they're well brought up and completely normal.
Aah!
Is this better?
She's a zombie. You got a problem with that?
You must be so proud.
Hmm. You guys knew I wasn't a genius all along, didn't you?
Yeah, I guess we did.
How come you went along with me?
Well, Cory, we would never accuse you of cheating.
We had no proof that you did.
We just hoped you were smart enough...
to tell us the truth eventually.
I wasn't even smart enough to do that...
until I was backed into a corner.
I guess I blew it, huh?
- Yep. - Grounded?
Yep. Two weeks.
I'll be in my room.
Yes, you will be, starting the day after Halloween.
You mean I can still have Halloween?
As long as you don't go disguised...
as a boy who cheats on tests.
I won't. That costume was totally wrong for me.
Cory, you don't have to ever try to be something you're not.
So from now on, I'll just wear my normal-kid outfit.
It always looked good on you.
[BELL RINGS]
Please read chapter seven and be ready to discuss it tomorrow.
Bozo resigns. I'm turning in my nose.
I figure as long as I'm going to give up...
being the class genius...
I'll give up being the class clown, too.
Fair trade. Welcome back to class, Mr. Matthews.
I guess I thought a guy had to be a genius...
to earn your respect.
All my students have to do to earn my respect...
is try their hardest.
I guess that's why you didn't bust Rick Lewis...
for failing this week's math quiz.
That's right. He did the best he could.
He just didn't understand the material.
I consider the failure mine, and I will try my hardest...
to make sure Mr. Lewis understands...
the next assignment.
Well, I think that's really cool of you, Mr. Feeny.
I'm cool.
God, help me.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
My turn, my turn!
Trick or treat!
One for you, one for you, two for me.
Hey, look. There's the guy that's handing out the rulers.
You're too big to trick or treat.
Yes, well, apparently my treats aren't going over so well.
Uh, would you ask one of your parents...
if I could borrow some candy?
Mom! Dad!
Trick or treat!
The candy's on its way.
Hey, aren't you that Feeny guy from school?
I'm Mr. Feeny, yes.
My brother's friend Cory Matthews...
said I'm going to have you for a teacher next year.
He said you're the best teacher in the whole school.
Oh, please, Mr. Matthews. I wasn't born yesterda...
I'm terribly sorry.
Happy Halloween.
Here, have a ruler.
Have all the rulers.
- George. - Yes?
There's plenty of candy here in the kitchen.
Thank you.
And they say I'm not a genius