# I'm amazed at the things that you say
# I'd heard it all before, just another day
# January, February, all the same
# March, April, May's coming back again
# Oh, why?
# Cos it's the worst year of my life again
# It's looped around and pulled me back in now
# Yesterday has come again, oh no
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
# The worst year of my life again. #
ALARM BUZZES
OK, so we have Aunt Ethel's home phone,
Aunt Ethel's mobile phone. Mr Peters
is the next door neighbour -
Mum, Mum, chill. You'll only be gone one night, OK?
- OK. - OK.
- See ya. - Bye, guys. - Send our love to Auntie Ethel.
- OK. Be good! - Love you. Have fun.
- Drive safe. - See ya, Dad.
Love you!
Woo! The house is ours!
Come on, the party isn't going to organise itself.
But I invited Simon over for DVDs and pizza.
Well, as long as that creep doesn't ruin my party,
I don't care what you do.
So, we can come too?
Sure thing. In fact, Slug, it's going
to be your job to keep things tidy.
Make sure there are no accidents and nothing gets broken.
- You should probably carry a cloth at all times. - You mean like a cleaner?
Exactly like a cleaner. Oh, you're so much smarter
- than you look. - No way! I'd rather play Sudoku than be your party slave.
- Oh, really? - Cos if the house doesn't look
exactly the way Mum and Dad left it, then everyone at school is going
to see this.
ALEX SINGING: # Rubber ducky, joy of joy
# When I squeeze you, you make noise! #
Right, then.
Cool.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
MUSIC PLAYS
Oh!
You've been in the house for 30 seconds!
Looks a little bit like Finland.
No, no, it looks more like Madagascar.
Sam cannot see this. We have to find the cleaning stuff.
Why didn't you tell me about the party earlier?
I would've worn something a little more sophisticated.
- What? - This could be my big chance with your sister.
Oh, as if. You're the last person she wants to see.
Come on, before she spots it.
So far, so good.
And then you know what Norris says,
he says, "You have to Captain the cricket team, Simon.
"There's no-one else as talented or as good looking as you."
- So you know what I said? - I don't care.
Exactly. "I don't care. I'm not doing it for you.
"I am doing it for all of the little people."
Simon?
Oh, this is not good!
Hey. Paula, isn't it?
- Sam. - Sam, right. How could I forget?
Um, do I know you?
Some people are highly forgettable. Take a walk, buddy.
Oh, wow, are you rescuing me from toad-head?
Oh, how sweet.
- Come on, I'll show you around. - What about my cricket story?
- Drop dead, Simon. - Sorry about that, mate.
You should be. Your shoulders are really pointy!
Simon?
Simon.
Rug. Cleaning stuff.
Be careful of the lamp!
One minute Bugsy was dead in the shoe box,
the next he's eating a lettuce leaf.
He had definitely crossed back over from bunny afterlife.
What are you doing here?
I just came by to borrow a rolling pin.
I don't go to many parties, Alex. Was I supposed to bring a lamp?
Come on.
Watch it!
Relax, you're making me clumsy.
That's Mum's good pecorino!
Maybe you should drink something!
HE SPLUTTERS
That wasn't ginger beer, was it?
Smells like it.
Ginger beer always makes Alex puke! Has done since kinder.
You'd think he would know better now!
ALEX RETCHES AND COUGHS
Gross.
Dance Mania! Oh, wait till Sam sees my smokin' moves!
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm Simon. I'm Sam's boyfriend.
Are you coming out, Alex?
Can't.
There's no door handle on this side. It's dodgy.
You have to lift and jiggle.
- Lift. - I am lifting.
- Then jiggle it. - I am!
- Pull! - I am!
Pull harder!
THEY GROAN
I think I pulled too hard, Alex.
I'm deceptively strong, you know.
Arrrrgggh!
RINGTONE
Hi, Mum, we're fine.
Oh, I was just... I was, er, helping Alex with his homework.
Got to go. Love you. Bye!
I'll get some pliers.
Excuse me!
Alex, are you in there?
Um...
No.
DRILL WHIRRS
- Well, aren't you handy! - I'm pretty capable.
Aghh!
I didn't break the door! It just got stuck. It's dodgy.
You... You know you have to lift and jiggle. I'll fix it.
I'll fix everything. I'll clean up. I'll mop the floor!
- Don't.... - Why shouldn't I? - Because...
Because you'll lose your waiter and you'll have to clean.
Who'll host?
No host, no party, right? And you haven't even gotten
Mr Handyman's number.
OK, but you'd better make this place look exactly the way it should
and I'd better get Mr Handyman's number or it's bath time.
- Where's the rug? - I um... I moved it.
In case of accidents.
Ohh!
- Sorry, mate. - Ahh!
Watch out!
No!
SHATTER!
What are you doing?
Dancing, Alex. Want to salsa?
Just don't break anything, OK?
What? Like the high score?
Yeah, cos I'm on fire!
You know you're right. You ARE on fire.
SIZZLING
No!
Ahh...
CHATTERING
MUSIC PLAYS
Don't break anything, Simon.
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
- Whoa! - What?
CRASH!
ALEX GROANS
- Where've the lights gone? - What's with the lights?
BOY: Supposed to be a party!
GROANS
- Ow! Who's that? - It's me.
Oh, hello you.
CHATTER
I found the fuse box in the cupboard under the stairs.
Oh, and I found this too.
Oh, hey, it looks like Finland.
Alex!
We should probably have that dance now, before the party's over.
Oh, this party is so over.
I can clean it up. There's still time.
No, you wouldn't.
Would you?
- Feel like pizza? - You bet.
SENDS MESSAGE ON PHONE
MULTIPLE MESSAGE ALERTS
ALEX SINGING: # Rubber ducky, you're the one
# You make bath time so much fun
# Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you... #
ALARM BUZZES
- Drive safe! - See ya, Dad. - Love you.
BOTH: Woo!
Oh, I invited Maddy over for DVDs and fortune cookies.
Well, as long as you didn't invite creepy Simon.
- Nope. Definitely, absolutely not. - Good. Because I'm having a party.
Yeah, you may want to have it outside.
- You know, to minimise the damage. - What damage?
Oh, you know what parties are like.
Stained rugs, broken stereos, flooded kitchens, burnt toast.
Plus outside parties always have a much better vibe.
Hmm. Good plan, Slug. You're so much smarter than you look.
- Yeah, don't call me that. - Actually, it'll be your job to make sure
the yard looks exactly like it did before the party
so Mum and Dad have no idea.
No way, chin face!
I'm not some waiter who's going
- to watch drinks and carry a cloth at all times. - Oh, you'll do it.
Cos if you don't, then...
then I'll, um... I'll...
You'll what?
Whatever. Just don't embarrass me.
Locked!
Thanks for inviting me, Alex. I don't go to many parties.
Was I meant to bring a fire extinguisher?
I'm just checking it's in working order.
You can't be too careful. Last time round at this party,
we ended up with short circuited electricity and a small fire.
Plus there was a...a video.
Wow.
The worst bit was that Sam met Justin.
Whatever happens this time,
we have to make sure that doesn't happen, no matter what.
Who's Justin?
Justin's the guy Sam pashed at the party.
A couple of days later they're going out
- and it's all gooey and lovey. - How romantic!
No. No, it's not romantic at all.
Because then Justin dumps Sam for Sarah the Snake.
He dumped your sister for a reptile?
No, it's a girl. Sarah. Sarah the Snake.
Keep up.
After the dumping, Sam is even worse than usual.
The crying, it was torrential.
It was like it was never going to stop.
- You really care about her, huh? - Yeah, right!
I just care about how much of a pain she was.
Three events led to Sam and Justin getting together.
One - Sam and Justin bonded when he drilled out
- the pantry door handle. - Is that a party game?
No. I fixed the dodgy door but we have to make sure there's no more
chances for Justin to play handyman.
- Is that a party game? - No!
Justin fixes things.
Sam's impressed by capable guys.
She must be really impressed by you then, Alex.
So, two - Sam and Justin pashed after there was a spilled drink
made the stereo blow up and the lights go out.
No Mr Fixit opportunities, no blowing up stereos,
no romantic darkness. You can rely on me, Alex.
And three - as long as Simon's not here, it means that he can't
crack on to Sam, which means that Justin won't be able to rescue her
and the rest - the blubbering and all that - won't happen.
MUSIC PLAYS
He's here.
- Who, Justin? - No, Simon.
- Hey, that stain kind of looks like... - Finland. Yes, yes, I know.
No, more like Madagascar.
Justin alert. Keep him away from Sam.
Over and out.
It's detective speak. I know my languages, Alex.
Just...don't let him out of your sight, OK?
Ten-four, Oscar Charlie Zulu.
Surely she must have mentioned me. Simon and Samantha?
People call us Si-mantha,
or Sa-mon.
Actually, no, that's not very nice.
No-one calls us Sa-mon.
What are you doing here?
Didn't I tell you to stay at home so we could game together later?
No, I was waiting online and the party was all over
the internet. Bit surprised you didn't invite me, actually.
But I'm guessing you didn't want any competition?
Smooth, huh?
What's with the hair? Is that your dad's suit?
Sophisticated women like your sister love good tailoring.
You have to leave now.
No way. I haven't seen Sam yet.
Stop it. You're freaking me out.
- Sam, what's going on? - Hey, how're you going?
You're going to have to trust me on this.
It's a loop year thing.
So stuffing me in the shed is a loop year thing?
What are you doing here? You're meant to be watching Justin.
- I didn't want to miss out. - On what?
- The game. - What game?
- The "let's all get in the shed" game. - There is no game!
- Then why are we in the shed? - I'm here to keep him away from Sam.
Oh, I get it. The loop year thing, huh?
Last time round I ended up pashing her, didn't I?
You can't stand in the way of true love, Alex.
Right! Well, I'm going to go find Sam.
It's a bit stiff.
- Wait. - Just need a bit of a lift and a jiggle.
Oh... Handle's come off.
I don't believe it!
This is exactly what happened last time!
Well, we're going to have to stay in here
and wait for the party to finish.
As long as Sam doesn't find us and get Justin
to start fixing things, everything should be OK.
Way to party, Alex. What are we supposed to do in here?
Stand around telling stories?
Did I ever tell you about the time my rabbit Bugsy came back
from the dead?
Help! Help! Help, get me out!
Alex, is that you in there?
Um...
No.
SHE GROANS
- By the way, I'm Sam. - No!
- Well, aren't you handy! - I'm pretty capable.
Hey, Sam. Nice party.
What were you doing in the shed? And what did you do to the hall rug?
If Mum and Dad see that, they'll ground us till we're 40.
Chill, Sam, it's only grape juice.
Or so I heard.
Just soak it with white vinegar. It'll come right off.
- I can give you a hand if you like. - Like? I'd love that.
I can do it. I love stains! And Simon'll help.
It's his fault. Isn't that right, Simon?
Let's dance, Sam.
You should see my smoking moves!
- They've made contact, Alex. - We can still stop the pash.
No power cut, no exploding stereos, no romantic darkness.
Wow... You really are across this.
Was there ever a doubt?
- Well... - I'll watch the stereo. You go stop Sam and Justin.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
- Are you right? - Me? I'm fine.
You, not so sure.
- Alex! - What are you on about? - I mean, you're a guest.
You should go and have fun.
- What? - Go on, go party.
Um, OK, I guess.
What are you doing?
Helping you clean the rug.
Idiot!
RINGTONE
(Mum.)
SMASH!
Was that my phone? I swear I just heard my phone.
Yeah. Yeah, I think I heard it coming from upstairs.
- Yeah, sausages! - Barbecue, yeah!
You're not doing any cheese on toast, are you?
No, mate, just sausages.
Yeah, good.
Keep it that way. I'm on to you.
OK. Whatever you say, mate.
Still no drink on the stereo, Alex.
Be very, very careful.
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
I just warned him. Honestly!
Aagh!
- Check me out! I'm on fire! - We all will be in a minute!
There's still no drink on the stereo, Alex!
You all right, mate?
Sorry.
THEY SHOUT AND SCREAM
< Turn it off!
- Sorry! - Idiot.
One less than last time. Wonder what happened to the other guy?
Still no drink, Alex.
Oh!
There you are.
Aaghh!
SPLASH!
HE COUGHS
You OK, buddy?
- I got the drink off the stereo, Alex. - Here.
Oops. Ginger beer.
HE GAGS
CHEERING
LAUGHTER
Alex! Alex! Someone broke your stereo!
Alex!
Oh!
What's with the lights?
- Ow, who's that? - It's me.
Oh, hello you.
ALEX COUGHS
- Hey! - Yeah!
- Oh! Ewww! - Ooh, sorry about that.
White vinegar should clean it right up.
No, that's it. Enough of the freak show.
- I'm out of here. - Me too. This party is so over.
- Feel like pizza? - You bet.
- Hi, I'm Sarah. - I'm Justin.
Sarah the Snake.
- Yes, yes, yes! - He's leaving.
This is all your fault!
CHATTER
Mum and Dad are going to kill us.
I found the fuse box under the stairs.
- Oh, and I found this. - What the ...?
Alex...
You are so going to pay for this. All of this!
- Is she calling for pizza? - I'm not ordering pizza.
SHE HUMS ALEX'S BATH SONG
You wouldn't, would you?
It's bath time.
FRONT DOOR OPENS
MUM GASPS
What... what are you doing back?
What do you mean, what are we doing back?
We've been calling, you haven't been answering your phone.
- Where is your phone? - Right here.
SHE SENDS MESSAGE
MULTIPLE MESSAGE ALERTS
# Rubber ducky, you're the one
# You make bath time so much fun
# Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you... #
You guys are grounded...
forever!
It was all Alex. He's the one who should be grounded, not me.
Mum! Mum, please listen to me.
- Everybody out. - Out! - Party's over. Thank you, good night.
So did it work? Did we save your sister?
I guess so.
Not that she'll ever know anything about it.
MESSAGE ALERT
What's this?
# Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you
# Booty booty boo
# Rubber ducky... #
Sam, get out of the bathroom! What are you doing here?!
Why are you wearing a shower cap in the bath, Alex?
I really don't want to talk about it.
Ever.
Man, I hate parties.