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-=THE LAST FANTASY=- 荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业途径
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《宋飞正传》第八季 第14集 “范布伦花花公”
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- 上届总统有胡子吗？ - 尼克松有
- The last president to have a beard? - Nixon.
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- 不，我是说真正的浓密大胡子 - 他的很浓
- No, I mean a real thick beard. - His was thick.
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不，我是说像关二哥那样 又多又长的大胡子
No, I mean like a full, long beard, like Smith Brothers Cough Drops.
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法克摩尔有
Falkmore.
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- 谁？ - 阿丁尼斯·N·法克摩尔
- Who? - Artemis N. Falkmore.
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- 你瞎编的，是不？ - 是的
- You made that up, right? - Yeah.
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- 但听来像总统名字吧？ - 是的
- But it sounds like a president name? - Yeah.
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为什么总统的名字都那么烂啊？
Why do presidents all have bad names?
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像是伍德罗，格罗佛，米勒德
Woodrow, Grover, Millard.
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总统职位就是吸引那些名字烂的人
The presidency attracts the badly named.
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他们的雄心壮志都是建立在 个人安危的基础上的
Their ambition is based on personal insecurity.
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典型的男性过度补偿
It's classic male overcompensation.
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你穿了增高鞋吗？
Are you wearing lifts in those shoes?
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的士
Cab.
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有了这种时钟，你输入你的年龄…
So they have this clock now, where you punch in your age...
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…和你全部的风险因素…
...and all your risk factors...
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…它就能算出你还能活多久
...and it actually counts down how much time you have left to live.
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伟大的时刻是，在你临终之时
What's the great moment? On your deathbed.
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他们在电击你的胸口 而你就在倒数，10，9，8…
They're pounding on your chest, and you're going: "Ten, nine, eight...
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我跟你说过这玩意儿很棒的
I told you this thing was good."
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- 真不敢相信这是我们第一次约会 - 我知道，要甜点吗？
- I can't believe this is our first date. - I know. Dessert?
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我想我得吃块蛋糕
I suppose I have to get a piece of cake.
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- 为啥？ - 今天是我的生日
- Why? - Today is my birthday.
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啥？今天？
What? Today?
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- 真的吗？ - 嗯
- Really? - Yep.
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这么说那天她第一次跟你约会 又正好是她的生日？
So she went out with you on a first date and it was her birthday?
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是啊，而且是她自己挑的日子
Yeah, and she picked the day.
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她在社交方面是不是…
Is she socially...
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…挺笨拙的呀？
...awkward?
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没有啊，她很好
No, she's great.
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- 她很迷人而且很有趣 - 好吧，说不定她本来就打算…
- She's attractive and fun. - Well, maybe she decided...
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…过周末之后 到星期一才庆祝生日呢
...to celebrate her birthday on the Monday after the weekend.
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她又不是林肯
She's not Lincoln.
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嘿
Hey.
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有人想吃洛伦佐的比萨吗？
Anybody up for Lorenzo's pizza?
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- 我不去了 - 哦，真的吗？
- I'll pass. - Oh, really?
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嗨，乔治，吃比萨吧
Hey, George. Pizza.
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我不吃了，我得去基金会
I can't. I gotta go down to the foundation.
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我要去为苏珊·罗丝奖学金 面试高中生呢
I'm interviewing high schoolers for the Susan Ross Scholarship.
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这个组织…难道就没有让你厌烦过吗？
Does it ever bother you that this organization...
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- 没 …他们乱打水漂
- Nope. ...is beating the bushes...
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- 没有 …基本上把钱派给…
- No. ...to basically give this money away...
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- 不是 - …任何人…
- No. ...to virtually anyone...
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…只要不是给你
...as long as they're not you?
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这个我没关系的
I'm fine with it.
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很好，当然
Fine, I say.
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然后我在英语成绩测验上拿了740分
And then I received a 740 on the English Achievement Test.
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快说，你最喜欢的动物是什么？
Quick, what's your favorite animal?
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我不知道，青蛙？
I don't know. Frog?
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青蛙？
Frog?
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- 那个，我… - 说青蛙就错了
- Well, l... - Frog is wrong.
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我看到你弹竖琴来着
I see here that you play the harp.
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告诉我，为什么他们放斜着弹？
Tell me, why do they have to tilt it?
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他们就不能把琴做成本来就斜的吗？
Can't they just build it on an angle?
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替你省了挺多麻烦
Save you a lot of trouble.
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现代的竖琴是经过上千年演变的…
Well, the modern-day harp has been refined over thousands of years...
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- …可以追溯到… - 好了，好了，有消息通知你
...back to... - Yeah, yeah, we'll let you know.
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我看到你的绩点是4.0
I see your GPA is 4.0.
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- 你喜欢那个，不是吗？
You like that, don't you?
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- 史蒂文，我见你是象棋俱乐部的主席
So, Steven, I see you're president of the chess club.
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州冠军
State champs.
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你最喜欢的象棋手是谁？
Who's your favorite chess player?
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纳斯特科夫？
Nastercoff?
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对
Right.
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纳斯特科夫
Nastercoff.
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再说一遍，他来自哪个国家？
What country is he from again?
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我不知道
I don't know.
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我瞎编的
I made it up.
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反正我拿不到的了
I'm never gonna get this thing.
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那你告诉我干嘛？
What are you telling me for?
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是你害我要问你的
You really had me going there.
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过来，坐下
Come on, sit down.
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你长大后想做什么？
What do you want to do when you grow up?
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我一直告诉大家 我想成为一名建筑师
Well, I've been telling people that I'd like to be an architect.
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那就去呗， 彼特曼先生终于 让我做实质性的写作
So get this, Mr. Peterman is finally letting me do some real writing.
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他已经为他的自传拿到合约了
He's got this book deal for his autobiography.
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他要让我代笔写
He's gonna let me ghostwrite it.
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哇哦，那太棒了 等书出来的时候…
Wow, that's great. When it comes out...
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…我就得找个人去代读了
...l'll have to get someone to ghost-read it.
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- 嘿，噢，嗨 - 嘿
- Hey. Oh, hi. - Hey.
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- 嘿 - 我在洛伦佐那儿…
- Hey. - So there I am at Lorenzo's...
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…把我的切片放在配菜条上
...loading up my slice at the fixings bar.
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大蒜啊，什么的
Garlic and whatnot.
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当我越过比萨盒子看到那家伙时…
When I see this guy over at the pizza boxes...
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…他白了我一眼
...giving me the stink eye.
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所以我就回了他一眼，你知道不？
So I give him the crook eye back, you know?
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然后我注意到他不是一个人来的
And I notice that he's not alone.
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我在挑衅整群范布伦花花公子
I'm taking on the entire Van Buren Boys.
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- 范布伦花花公子？ - 是的
- Van Buren Boys? - Yeah.
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有一个街头帮是以 总统马丁·范布伦的名字命名的？
There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?
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哦，是啊，他们就跟那个总统一样刻薄
Oh, yeah, and they're just as mean as he was.
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所以我往门口挪了挪，你知道不？
So I make a move to the door, you know?
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他们就把门堵住了
They block it.
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所以我就朝厕所的方向冲了过去 我抓住了门把手
So I lunge for the bathroom. I grab the knob.
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但厕所有人
Occupied.
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然后他们把我顶在那张 意大利的卡通地图上…
Then they back me up against the cartoon map of Italy...
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…突然之间他们停了下来
...and all of a sudden they just stop.
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啥？出啥事了？
What? What happened?
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因为我还拿着那个大蒜搅拌器 就像这样
Because I'm still holding the garlic shaker, like this:
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我只露出了八个手指
I'm only showing eight fingers.
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- 哦，那样是什么意思啊？ - 那是他们的秘密标志
- Well, what does that mean? - That's their secret sign.
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看着，范布伦，他是第八任总统
See, Van Buren, he was the eighth president.
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他们以为我是上一批 范布伦花花公子
They thought I was a former Van B Boy.
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- 比萨如何？ - 有点油腻
- How was the pizza? - It was a little oily.
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杰瑞，你能不能拿一下这个 我想查查留言
Jerry, can you hold on a sec? I just wanna check my messages.
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哦，梅利莎和金姆
Oh, Melissa, Kim.
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- 埃伦 嘿，我想让你见见杰瑞
- Ellen. - Hey. I want you to meet Jerry.
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哦，久闻大名
Oh, we've heard a lot about you.
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你把她带出来可真贴心
It is so sweet of you to take her out.
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是啊，你根本不知道她有多需要这个
Yeah, you don't even know how much she needs this.
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她刚从一次痛苦的分手中走出来吗？
Is she coming off a bad breakup?
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不是
No.
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回见
See you.
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- 收到留言不？ - 嗯，没人打给我
- Get your messages? - Yeah. No one called.
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她们表现得好像跟她出去 是一种慈善举动似的
They acted like it was some act of charity, going out with her.
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这么说她是一个不合群的喽
So she's the loser of the group.
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每个群体里都会有些人总是被大家嘲弄
Every group has someone that they all make fun of.
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就像我们跟伊莲
Like us with Elaine.
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埃伦不可能是那个不合群的
There's no way Ellen is the loser of that group.
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你有没有看到 面具最下面的本来面目啊？
Are you looking deep down at the real person underneath?
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没有，我只是尽量看得肤浅
No, I'm being as superficial as I possibly can.
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- 好吧，坚持下去 - 好啊
- Well, stick with it. - Yeah.
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- 我找到奖学金人选了 - 是吗？
- I found someone for the scholarship. - Yeah?
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我得去面试那些烦人的小优等生…
I'm interviewing all these annoying little overachievers...
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…这孩子总算走进来了 叫史蒂文·库恩，一普通孩子
...and finally this kid walks in, Steven Koren, a regular guy.
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喜欢运动，看电视
Likes sports, watches TV.
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- 他聪明吗？ - 他很会读书
- Is he smart? - He knows how to read.
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而且他也很清楚 读完一整本书并不能证明什么
And he also knows that finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything.
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还有这个
But get this:
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他喜欢建筑学
He's into architecture.
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嘿，跟你假装要成为的一样
Hey, just like you pretend to be.
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是啊，只需要一点引导…
Yes, with a little guidance...
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…史蒂文·库恩就能 成为我要成为的一切，真的
...Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real.
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那是我的梦想啊，杰瑞
That's my dream, Jerry.
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我昨晚上梦到有一个汉堡要吃了我
I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me.
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彼特曼先生，谢谢您邀请我…
Mr. Peterman, thanks for having me over. L...
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你的住所跟我想象的不太一样
Your place isn't quite what I imagined.
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哦，不就一睡觉的地方
Oh, it's just a place to flop.
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那么，你打算从生活的哪一部分说起呢？
Well, what part of your life do you want to start with?
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异国琐事？还是他乡恋史？
Foreign intrigue? Exotic romances?
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哦，伊莲，我们在目录中隐瞒了这些 令人作呕的
Oh, Elaine, we've covered all of that in the catalog, ad nauseam.
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我希望这本书是关于我的日常生活的
No, I would like this book to be about my day-to-day life.
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该死，他们又把电视台的位置改了…
Oh, damn, they changed the cable stations again...
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…我难得把它们记住了
...just when I finally memorized them.
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- 那么，彼特曼先生 你想不想… - 2号，哥伦比亚台
- Well, Mr. Peterman, do you want to...? - Two: CBS.
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- 开始吧？ - 3号…
- Get started? - Three...
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我不知道那是啥
I don't know what that is.
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那该死的预览频道哪儿去了？
Where's my damn preview channel?
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那个，我得跟您说，彼特曼先生…
Well, I gotta tell you, Mr. Peterman...
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…这样子我写不到一整本书
...I don't know if I see a whole book here.
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好吧，我确信我们能想出点什么的
Well, I'm sure we'll come up with something.
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咱俩订个派吃如何？
What do you say you and I order ourselves a pie?
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你喜欢吃洛伦佐的不？
Do you like Lorenzo's?
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就在那里，我一个朋友 差点被范布伦花花公子们暴打
A friend of mine almost got beat up at that place by the Van Buren Boys.
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00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:03,227
- 你不是说？ - 嗯
- You don't say? - Yeah.
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那次他没事只是因为…
The only thing that saved him is...
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…他无意间出示了他们的秘密帮派标志
...he accidentally flashed their secret gang sign.
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00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,175
- 嗯，真是刺激 - 是啊
- Well, that's pretty exciting. - Yeah.
161
00:08:09,342 --> 00:08:11,315
我们把它写到书里吧
Let's put that in the book.
162
00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:15,215
但那并不是发生在你身上啊
But that didn't happen to you.
163
00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:19,213
那我们就给你朋友点钱 然后就变成彼特曼的故事了
Well, so we pay off your friend, and it becomes a Peterman.
164
00:08:20,695 --> 00:08:22,766
不，我认为你不该这么做
No, I really don't think you can do that.
165
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:27,633
哦，该死，我又忘了买肥料了
Oh, damn, I forgot to buy plant food again.
166
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:31,015
我敢打赌我还有优惠卷呢
I'll bet I got a coupon for it.
167
00:08:32,688 --> 00:08:35,075
你知道不？ 也许我该跟我朋友谈谈
You know what? Maybe I better talk to my friend.
168
00:08:40,012 --> 00:08:42,498
这是你昨天穿的那身衣服吗？
Is that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday?
169
00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,966
不是，这套是崭新的 你不喜欢吗？
No, this is brand-new. Do you like it?
170
00:08:45,128 --> 00:08:46,621
事实上，我喜欢
Actually, yeah.
171
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:52,835
等一下 那是不是掉在地上的叉子啊？
Wait a second. Is that the fork that fell on the floor?
172
00:08:52,995 --> 00:08:56,309
你用的是掉在地上的叉子吗？
Are you using the fork that fell on the floor?
173
00:08:56,481 --> 00:08:58,901
不是的，杰瑞，服务员又给我拿了一个
No, Jerry, the waitress gave me another one.
174
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,339
我猜那没事了
I guess that's all right.
175
00:09:01,503 --> 00:09:06,202
- 有什么问题吗，杰瑞？ - 没事，绝对没事
- Is something wrong, Jerry? - No, absolutely nothing.
176
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,371
你真是一尤物
You're fantastic.
177
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,708
- 嗨，伙计们 - 嗨
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
178
00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:12,725
克莱默，乔治，这是埃伦
Kramer, George, this is Ellen.
179
00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:21,293
先生女士们，我很高兴向你们介绍…
Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to introduce you...
180
00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:24,326
…第一位苏珊·罗丝奖学金得主
...to the first Susan Ross Scholar.
181
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,608
这位…
This...
182
00:09:25,776 --> 00:09:27,335
…史蒂文·库恩
...is Steven Koren.
183
00:09:28,431 --> 00:09:31,974
他的平均绩点是货真价实的2.0
His GPA is a solid 2.0.
184
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:35,619
就位于曲线中最充实的那一部分
Right in that meaty part of the curve.
185
00:09:35,786 --> 00:09:38,370
不是炫耀，一点都不落后
Not showing off, not falling behind.
186
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,706
乔治，拿这个奖学金的要求是…
George, the qualifications for this scholarship...
187
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:43,202
…大部分从学术性上考虑的
...were supposed to be largely academic.
188
00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,337
我相信大家都意识到那些存在于…
I'm sure we're all aware of the flaws...
189
00:09:45,508 --> 00:09:47,579
…标准化测试中的瑕疵和偏差
...and biases of standardized tests.
190
00:09:47,746 --> 00:09:50,711
这些不是标准化测试，这些是他的分数
These aren't standardized tests. These are his grades.
191
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:54,424
此外，史蒂文·库恩拥有极强烈的愿望
Besides, Steven Koren has the highest of aspirations.
192
00:09:54,591 --> 00:09:56,694
他想要成为…
He wants to be...
193
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,773
…一个建筑师
...an architect.
194
00:09:58,939 --> 00:10:00,115
是吗？
Is that right?
195
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:03,150
实际上，也许我可以把眼光放高一点
Actually, maybe I could set my sights a little bit higher.
196
00:10:03,322 --> 00:10:06,832
史蒂文，没什么比建筑学更高端的了
Steven, nothing is higher than architect.
197
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,747
我觉得我想要成为一名城市规划师
I think I'd really like to be a city planner.
198
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,940
当我能设计整个城市的时候 为什么把自己局限在单一的建筑物上呢？
Why limit myself to one building when I can design a whole city?
199
00:10:13,107 --> 00:10:14,993
- 是啊，那是个好想法 - 不，不是
- Well, that's a good point. - No, it's not.
200
00:10:15,154 --> 00:10:17,192
建筑师不就是艺术学校的…
Isn't an architect just an art school dropout...
201
00:10:17,361 --> 00:10:19,301
…拥有斜桌子和大尺子的辍学生吗？
...with a tilting desk and a big ruler?
202
00:10:19,472 --> 00:10:21,641
那叫丁字尺
It's called a T-square.
203
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:25,256
你知道吗？我的兄弟会中 最蠢的家伙当了建筑师…
You know, the stupidest guy in my fraternity became an architect...
204
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,360
…就在他考牙医学院落榜之后
...after he flunked out of dental school.
205
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,535
祝贺你啊，年轻人
Congratulations, young man.
206
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:32,800
苏珊会为你所做的事情感到十分骄傲
Susan would be very proud of what you're doing.
207
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:34,341
谢谢
Thank you.
208
00:10:36,005 --> 00:10:39,036
他们把它作为标志，因为范布伦 我们的第八任总统…
And they made it their sign because Van Buren, our eighth president...
209
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,057
…是他们最崇拜的人
...was the man they most admired.
210
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:46,419
克莱默，我的朋友，那是一个绝妙的故事
Kramer, my friend, that is one ripping good yarn.
211
00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:51,385
如果你喜欢的话，我还有更多
You know, if you liked that one, I got more.
212
00:10:52,124 --> 00:10:53,300
你想要什么？
What are you looking for?
213
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:56,116
罗曼史？喜剧？还是奇遇？
Romance? Comedy? Adventure?
214
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,068
还是艳史？
Erotica?
215
00:10:58,744 --> 00:10:59,920
不是的，克莱默，我并不认为…
No, Kramer, I don't think...
216
00:11:00,088 --> 00:11:02,933
这些全部你要收多少钱？
How much would you take for the whole lot?
217
00:11:04,532 --> 00:11:06,985
我的全部生活？开个价码吧，老兄
- My whole life? - Name your price, man.
218
00:11:07,986 --> 00:11:09,195
1500块
$ 1500.
219
00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:12,580
- 我只出一半 - 成交
- I'll give you half that. - Done.
220
00:11:12,752 --> 00:11:15,205
克莱默，我的朋友 你想想吧，伊莲全听你的
Kramer, my friend, you consider Elaine at your disposal.
221
00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,414
好吧
Okay.
222
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:18,823
那个，我…
Well, I...
223
00:11:18,987 --> 00:11:21,440
我喜欢在晚上工作的
I like to work in the evenings.
224
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:32,216
你能乖乖的去编那个 愚蠢的鲍勃·萨卡曼努故事吗？
Would you please just get on with the stupid Bob Sacamano story?
225
00:11:32,388 --> 00:11:35,353
我正跟鲍勃讲电话呢，那时候我发现…
Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there...
226
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:39,414
…我得把这条裤子还回去 于是我就动身去店里
...that I need to return this pair of pants. So I'm off to the store.
227
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,108
鲍勃·萨卡曼努出什么事了？
What happened to Bob Sacamano?
228
00:11:41,343 --> 00:11:43,763
没什么，他的故事说完了
Well, nothing. His part of the story is done.
229
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,993
我在等地铁，但它一直没来
I'm waiting for the subway. It's not coming.
230
00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:49,876
我决定步行通过隧道
I decided to hoof it through the tunnel.
231
00:11:50,073 --> 00:11:51,413
嗯，这还像个样子
Well, now, that's something.
232
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:53,582
我不知道是不是忘了时间什么的
I don't know if I lost track of time or what.
233
00:11:53,751 --> 00:11:56,083
- 接下来我知道的… - 一辆火车压在了你身上吗？
- The next thing I knew... - A train is bearing down on you?
234
00:11:56,245 --> 00:11:58,480
不是，我滑了一跤掉泥坑里了…
No, I slipped and fell in mud...
235
00:11:58,644 --> 00:12:02,700
…毁了那条我正打算还回去的裤子
...ruining the very pants I was about to return.
236
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,219
我不明白了
I don't understand.
237
00:12:06,384 --> 00:12:09,480
你要把裤子还回去，但你还穿着它？
You were wearing the pants you were returning?
238
00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:12,065
我猜我是穿着它
Well, I guess I was.
239
00:12:12,683 --> 00:12:15,398
那你打算穿什么回来呢？
What were you gonna wear on the way back?
240
00:12:15,753 --> 00:12:17,475
伊莲，你在听吗？
Elaine, are you listening?
241
00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:19,908
我压根没去成那儿
I didn't even get there.
242
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:25,089
- 好吧，下一个故事 - 我觉得我已经找够一天的故事了
- All right. Next story. - I think I've got enough for one day.
243
00:12:25,252 --> 00:12:26,974
- 是啊，考虑一下吧 - 我会考虑的
- Yeah, chew on that. - I'll chew on that.
244
00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:30,071
听着，顺便说一下 今晚我要主办一个小聚会…
Hey, listen. By the way, I'm hosting a little get-together tonight...
245
00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,378
…来庆祝我的财政小回暖
...in honor of my little financial upturn.
246
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,452
哦，谢了，我已经有安排了
Oh, thanks, I've got plans.
247
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,889
对啊，伊莲，你应该参加，去做个记录
Yeah, Elaine, you should be there to document it.
248
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:40,824
哦，你要跟那些蠢驴朋友们聚会吗？
Oh, you're getting together with some of your jackass friends?
249
00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:43,406
- 你是想让我记笔记吗？ - 是啊，但要在9点后到
- You want me to take notes? - Yeah, but get there after 9.
250
00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:46,477
你知道的，得给大家一个机会放松一下
You know, give the people a chance to loosen up.
251
00:12:53,779 --> 00:12:56,908
这么说你拒绝他的奖学金申请 是因为他想成为规划师吗？
So you're denying him the scholarship because he wants to be a planner?
252
00:12:57,104 --> 00:12:58,412
我被背叛了
I was betrayed.
253
00:12:59,663 --> 00:13:01,766
那孩子对我来说曾经像儿子一样
That kid was like a son to me.
254
00:13:01,934 --> 00:13:04,299
如果你应当制止一个人的话…
If there's one person you should be able to hold down...
255
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,149
…那也只能是你自己的亲骨肉
...it's your own flesh and blood.
256
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:09,379
就象我父亲和祖父一样
Like my father and my father's father before him.
257
00:13:09,929 --> 00:13:12,644
你知道吗？也许慈善事业不是你擅长的
You know, maybe philanthropy is not your field.
258
00:13:14,662 --> 00:13:16,962
你好，哦，嗨，埃伦 嗯，我给宾馆打过电话了
Hello. Oh, hi, Ellen. Yeah, I called the hotel.
259
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:19,709
- 我们要安排度周末了 - 要跟埃伦一起过周末吗？
- We're set for the weekend. - Spending the weekend with Ellen?
260
00:13:20,035 --> 00:13:21,757
佛蒙特州
Vermont.
261
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,667
如果我们想的话，可以多呆两天的
You know, we can stay an extra couple of days if we want.
262
00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:27,448
过四天美妙的包食宿假日
Four days at a beautiful bed-and-breakfast.
263
00:13:27,614 --> 00:13:28,889
我都等不及了
I can't wait.
264
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,742
拜拜
Bye-bye.
265
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:36,725
啥？
What?
266
00:13:37,496 --> 00:13:39,153
这是什么？
What is this?
267
00:13:42,037 --> 00:13:44,523
- 你要说吗？ - 不不不，你先
- You wanna start? - No, no, no. You go ahead.
268
00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,730
我要理一下思绪
I gotta get my thoughts together.
269
00:13:48,114 --> 00:13:52,388
杰瑞，整个埃伦的状况 已经太离谱了
Jerry, this whole Ellen situation has gone far enough.
270
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,726
- 啥？ - 杰瑞，她是个不合群
- What? - Jerry, she's a loser.
271
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,630
从哪儿得出的啊？她很好
Where is this coming from? She's great.
272
00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:00,801
你为什么要这么做呢，杰瑞？
Why are you doing this, Jerry?
273
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,968
这是你的事业吗？事情是要处理的
Is it your career? Things are gonna pick up.
274
00:14:04,392 --> 00:14:06,529
我的事业一点问题都没有
There's nothing wrong with my career.
275
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:09,442
我想给他安排个高管培训计划
I like the Bloomingdale's executive training program for him.
276
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:11,098
我们现在并不是要讨论这个
We weren't gonna discuss that now.
277
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,048
- 这是他应该考虑的事情 - 他当然应该
- It's something he should consider. - Of course he should.
278
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:17,142
- 但现在还不是时候 - 听着，这些事情都是有内在关联的
- But now is not the time. - Listen, these issues are interrelated.
279
00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,864
好吧，原谅我吧
All right. Excuse me.
280
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:21,556
我不吃你们这一套的
I'm not buying any of this.
281
00:14:21,725 --> 00:14:24,690
那你是什么意思？ 说我们错了吗？除你之外大家都错了？
So, what are you saying? That we're wrong? Everybody's wrong but you.
282
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,440
这就像贫民区一样 那个人醒来…
This is like that Twilight Zone where the guy wakes up...
283
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:29,975
…他还是一样的，但别人都不一样了
...and he's the same, and everybody else is different.
284
00:14:30,233 --> 00:14:33,013
- 哪个人？ - 他们都是那样
- Which one? - They were all like that.
285
00:14:38,387 --> 00:14:40,687
克斯坦萨先生 你为什么撤掉我的奖学金了？
Why did you take away my scholarship, Mr. Costanza?
286
00:14:40,882 --> 00:14:42,375
那个史蒂文，我…
Well, Steven, I...
287
00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:48,194
这些是我的新朋友…
These are my new friends...
288
00:14:48,366 --> 00:14:49,674
…范布伦花花公子们
...the Van Buren Boys.
289
00:14:49,837 --> 00:14:52,998
他变得那么心灰意冷 他必须加入我们
He became so disillusioned, he had to join us.
290
00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:56,068
- 很好 - 我想要回我的奖学金
- Nice. - I want my scholarship back...
291
00:14:56,233 --> 00:14:57,792
…这样我就能当城市规划师了
...so I can be a city planner.
292
00:14:58,279 --> 00:14:59,838
当建筑师怎么样，史蒂文？
What about architect, Steven?
293
00:15:01,446 --> 00:15:03,866
当城市规划师
City planner.
294
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,719
- 聚会真棒，小克 - 你变的那么直接了
- Great party, K-Man. - You got that straight.
295
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:15,481
伊莲，尝尝牛肉吧，那是真正的神户牛 货真价实的
Elaine, try the beef, because that's real au jus sauce. Real au jus sauce.
296
00:15:15,646 --> 00:15:17,978
- 我会把它记下来的 - 嗨，克莱默
- I'll make a note of it. - Hey, Kramer.
297
00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:20,342
- 嗯 - 拉米雷斯从来都没听过你的故事
- Yeah. - Ramirez has never heard your story.
298
00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:21,715
哦，好吧
Oh, okay.
299
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:23,635
我跟鲍勃·萨卡曼努打电话…
Well, I had Bob Sacamano on the phone...
300
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,384
- …然后我突然就发现我… - 嗨，克莱默，克莱默
...and I suddenly realized that l... - Hey, Kramer, Kramer.
301
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,273
你现在不能讲那个故事
You can't tell that story now.
302
00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:29,680
它是属于彼特曼的
It belongs to Peterman.
303
00:15:30,325 --> 00:15:32,211
- 你什么意思啊？ - 你签了让渡合约了
- What do you mean? - You signed the release.
304
00:15:32,403 --> 00:15:35,052
- 是啊 - 是他坐在泥坑里，不是你了
- Yeah. - He sat in mud, not you.
305
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,372
- 但我确实坐进了泥坑里 - 你没有
- But I did sit in mud. - You didn't.
306
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:41,027
你从没有坐进过泥坑里
You never sat in mud.
307
00:15:41,198 --> 00:15:42,855
我都脏透了
I was all dirty.
308
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:46,727
- 这事从没发生过，你明白吗？ - 拜托
- It never happened, you understand? - Come on.
309
00:15:47,082 --> 00:15:48,804
- 嗨，好吧，是哦 - 把故事讲完？
- Hey, all right. Yeah. - Finish the story?
310
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:52,034
哦，嗯，那个，我… 嗯，那个裤子…他们…
Oh, yeah, well, l... Yeah, the pants... They...
311
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:56,768
他们…裤子很合适所以我决定 不还回去了
They... They fit well and so I decided I wasn't gonna return them.
312
00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:02,614
- 很晚了，我们还是走吧 - 好吧
- Getting late. We better get going. - Okay.
313
00:16:02,785 --> 00:16:04,278
你们现在就要走吗？
You're gonna go now?
314
00:16:05,184 --> 00:16:06,808
嗨，喂，过来…
Hey, whoa. Come...
315
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,441
我不…
I don't...
316
00:16:08,861 --> 00:16:12,535
克莱默，克莱默，我跟范布伦花花公子们 结下大梁子了
Kramer, Kramer, I got big trouble with the Van Buren Boys.
317
00:16:12,699 --> 00:16:14,672
- 他们可都是狠角色 - 我听说你…
- They're tough cookies. - I heard that you...
318
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,628
…惹上了他们中好的那派 你做了什么啊？
...got on their good side. What did you do?
319
00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:19,953
哦，没啥，没啥
Oh, nothing, nothing.
320
00:16:20,119 --> 00:16:24,142
不，我当然没有什么故事 如果你们是在暗示这个的话
No, I certainly don't have any stories if that's what you're implying.
321
00:16:24,436 --> 00:16:26,060
你知道那些人会做些什么吗？
You know what those guys are gonna do?
322
00:16:26,450 --> 00:16:28,358
那个，你没从我这儿听说过…
Yeah, well, you didn't hear it from me...
323
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:32,682
…但是范布伦花花公子们 他们从来都不欺负自己人
...but the Van Buren Boys, they never hassle their own kind.
324
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,316
你是说，装成前任会员那样？
You mean, like a former member?
325
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:43,491
这些克莱默故事都是不能用的
These Kramer stories are unusable.
326
00:16:43,784 --> 00:16:46,651
我是说，其中一些根本就不是故事
I mean, some of them aren't even stories.
327
00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:50,209
看吧，这是他公寓里东西的清单
Look, this is the list of things in his apartment.
328
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:54,110
我的烤箱在名单上吗？
Is my toaster oven on there?
329
00:16:55,393 --> 00:16:58,293
我怎么才能把这个编进书里呀？
How am I ever gonna turn this into a book?
330
00:16:58,463 --> 00:17:00,850
- 先塑造它们，再改变它们 - 你可是个作家啊
Well, just shape them, change them. You're a writer.
331
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:03,987
是哦…
Yes...
332
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:05,878
…我是个作家
...l'm a writer.
333
00:17:06,203 --> 00:17:07,631
写得有趣些
Make them interesting.
334
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:09,550
有趣
Interesting.
335
00:17:09,817 --> 00:17:11,223
当然
Of course.
336
00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:14,577
人们喜欢有趣的作品
People love interesting writing.
337
00:17:16,885 --> 00:17:19,534
- 那个，我得去趟机场 - 去接我爸妈
Well, I gotta go to the airport. I'm picking up my parents.
338
00:17:19,699 --> 00:17:21,039
啥？他们刚才不还在这儿吗？
What? Weren't they just here?
339
00:17:21,202 --> 00:17:23,469
是的，我让他们飞过来见埃伦
Yeah, I'm flying them in to meet Ellen.
340
00:17:23,632 --> 00:17:25,005
我不知道该怎么做
I don't know where to turn.
341
00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:28,100
- 我要看看他们觉得她怎样 - 说不定我们待会可以一起吃晚饭呢
- I gotta see what they think of her. - Maybe we can have dinner later.
342
00:17:28,269 --> 00:17:31,682
我可不这么想，我要让他们今晚飞回去
I don't think so. I'm gonna try to get them to fly right back tonight.
343
00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:34,659
噢，嗨，嗨，我跟你说过我有姆囊炎没？
Oh, hey. Hey, have I told you about my bunions?
344
00:17:34,825 --> 00:17:36,231
你会爱上这个故事的
You're going to love this story.
345
00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:38,974
我把我的冷盘在旁边的沙发上排成一行…
So I line up my cold cuts on the couch next to me...
346
00:17:39,143 --> 00:17:42,075
…但是当我正要把它们堆起来时 它们就不断的掉进我的脚盆里
...but as I'm stacking them up they keep falling into my footbath.
347
00:17:42,277 --> 00:17:43,901
克莱默，这太可怕了
Kramer, this is awful.
348
00:17:44,068 --> 00:17:45,496
我们不想听这个
We don't wanna hear about this.
349
00:17:46,051 --> 00:17:48,383
- 该死 - 啥？
- Damn. - What?
350
00:17:48,641 --> 00:17:50,810
哦，我从纽曼那买了一堆姆囊炎故事
Oh, I bought a bunch of bunion stories from Newman.
351
00:17:50,975 --> 00:17:52,762
但都很烂
But they all stink.
352
00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:55,386
- 花了多少钱呀？ - 8块
- How much did you pay for them? - Eight bucks.
353
00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:57,238
我觉得我被坑了
I think I'm getting ripped off.
354
00:17:58,715 --> 00:18:00,339
纽曼
Newman!
355
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,842
那你不喜欢第一章哪里啊？
Well, what didn't you like about the first chapter?
356
00:18:06,007 --> 00:18:07,828
嗯，开头挺好的
Well, it started out nicely.
357
00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:10,541
我要去还裤子…
I'm returning some pants...
358
00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:13,423
…是一挺个性的问题
...a very identifiable problem.
359
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:16,045
我起身下了火车隧道
I set off down a train tunnel.
360
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:18,890
就这儿，就是这故事最没意思的转折
Now, that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn.
361
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,125
噢，不，不，是从这开始变有趣了
Oh, no, no, that's where it gets interesting.
362
00:18:21,293 --> 00:18:24,193
你不明白吗？火车就要压在你身上了…
Don't you see? The train is bearing down on you...
363
00:18:24,363 --> 00:18:26,750
…你跳进了旁边的隧道…
...you dive into a side tunnel...
364
00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:31,075
…然后你闯进了一个地下隧道
...and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers.
365
00:18:31,495 --> 00:18:34,176
听起来可真是陈词滥调毫无悬念呀
It just seems so clich閐 and obvious.
366
00:18:34,342 --> 00:18:36,064
这不是有意思的作品
It's not interesting writing.
367
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,648
是的，是的，我知道
Yeah, yeah, I know.
368
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:44,951
如果改成从火车上跳下去 然后你…觉得怎样？
How about if instead of diving from the train, you...?
369
00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:49,755
我不知道，你滑了一跤掉进了泥里…
I don't know. You slip and fall in some mud...
370
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,141
…然后裤子毁了？
...and ruin your pants?
371
00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:58,772
就那条我正要还回去的裤子
The very pants I was returning.
372
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:06,023
这可是绝妙的反讽 伊莲，这是有趣的作品
That's perfect irony. Elaine, that is interesting writing.
373
00:19:06,611 --> 00:19:09,707
4号钱，克莱默打过来
I have a Cosmo Kramer on line four.
374
00:19:10,672 --> 00:19:12,678
- 我是彼特曼 - 彼特曼先生…
- Peterman here. - Mr. Peterson...
375
00:19:12,846 --> 00:19:14,503
…你得把我的故事再卖给我
...you gotta sell me my stories back.
376
00:19:14,669 --> 00:19:17,700
你知道不？我不再需要它们了
You wanna know something? I no longer need them.
377
00:19:17,868 --> 00:19:20,899
别，别，别，彼特曼先生，为什么 不把这些故事留下来当参考呢
No, no, no, Mr. Peterman, why don't we keep them as a reference.
378
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,469
胡说
Nonsense.
379
00:19:22,632 --> 00:19:26,306
我要用贝尼斯的惊人的想像力 来继续我的故事
I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories.
380
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:28,508
把你的想法拿回去吧，你个流浪汉
You take back your tales, you vagabond.
381
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,321
给你，伊莲，继续创作吧
There you are, Elaine. Go forth and create.
382
00:19:32,994 --> 00:19:36,287
顺便说说，当你写到浪漫的恶作剧 那章的时候…
And by the way, when you get to that chapter about romantic escapades...
383
00:19:36,448 --> 00:19:38,813
…无拘无束的把自己投入到那堆 乱麻中去吧
...feel free to toss yourself into the mix.
384
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,260
嗨，范布伦花花公子们
Hey, Van B Boys.
385
00:19:46,522 --> 00:19:48,909
这么说来，克斯坦萨先生 你把我的奖学金弄回来没？
So, Mr. Costanza, did you get my scholarship back?
386
00:19:49,081 --> 00:19:51,250
伙计，伙计，放松点
Now, fellas, fellas, easy.
387
00:19:51,415 --> 00:19:53,355
自己人不打自己人
Wouldn't wanna beat up on one of your own.
388
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:54,931
是吗？
Is that right?
389
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:58,254
那你为什么不亮出标志给我们看呢？
Then why don't you flash us the sign?
390
00:19:59,442 --> 00:20:00,935
好吧
Right.
391
00:20:02,097 --> 00:20:03,754
标志
The sign.
392
00:20:12,235 --> 00:20:13,444
那不是标志
That's not the sign.
393
00:20:13,866 --> 00:20:15,653
我以前在帮派的时候它是
It was when I was banging.
394
00:20:16,297 --> 00:20:17,278
好吧…
All right...
395
00:20:17,448 --> 00:20:19,235
…如果你真是我们的人…
...if you are really one of us...
396
00:20:19,398 --> 00:20:23,040
…那就让大家看看 你抢路过那家伙的钱包吧
...let's see you take the wallet off the next guy who walks by.
397
00:20:24,195 --> 00:20:25,568
非常乐意
Love to.
398
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,675
大学之后我拿到了巴黎大学的硕士学位
And after college I got my master's at the Sorbonne.
399
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:35,415
巴黎大学，哦，嘿，在巴黎
Sorbonne. Oh, hey, that's in Paris.
400
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:37,489
杰瑞，你的停车位快到时间了
Jerry, your parking meter is about to expire.
401
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,349
你别去，我有零钱
Don't get up. I've got change.
402
00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:46,383
- 那，你们有啥想法没？ - 杰瑞，她太好了
- So, what do you think? - Jerry, she is fantastic.
403
00:20:46,550 --> 00:20:48,621
我知道啊，我又不是傻的
I knew it. I'm not crazy.
404
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,965
她多善解人意啊
She's so sweet.
405
00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:51,886
而且身材不错
And she's got some body on her.
406
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,504
还很聪明，像计算机一样
And smart, like a computer.
407
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,462
还有丰富的个性 但我们怎么想都不重要
And so much personality. But it doesn't matter what we think.
408
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:00,873
你喜欢她吗？
Do you like her?
409
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:04,937
现在还不确定
Now I'm not so sure.
410
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:08,837
她比你那个可怕的前女友安伯好十倍
She's 10 times better than that awful Amber girl that you were with.
411
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,610
对呀，安伯 不知道她从拉斯维加斯回来没
Yeah, Amber. I wonder if she's back from Vegas.
412
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,016
好了，不拖泥带水了
All right, no more stalling.
413
00:21:18,179 --> 00:21:20,599
就下一个，不然你打到你成肉饼
Next one or you're meat.
414
00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:22,230
好吧，好吧
All right. All right.
415
00:21:25,311 --> 00:21:27,764
- 宋飞叔 - 嗨，乔治
- Seinfelds. - Hey, George.
416
00:21:27,933 --> 00:21:29,109
你得帮我个忙
You gotta do me a favor.
417
00:21:29,276 --> 00:21:31,511
把你的钱包给我 我随后还你
Give me your wallet. I'll give it back to you later.
418
00:21:31,675 --> 00:21:32,851
你们好吗？
How are your folks?
419
00:21:33,114 --> 00:21:35,381
试着选一新沙发 你不会想知道的
Trying to pick out a new couch. You don't wanna know.
420
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,436
把你的钱包给我 不然我就你们的心挖出来
Give me your wallet or I'll spill your guts right here on the street.
421
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,226
你说啥？
What did you say?
422
00:21:41,397 --> 00:21:42,857
拜托，快点，老伙计
Come on, hurry up, old man.
423
00:21:43,028 --> 00:21:44,336
我是个禽兽
I'm an animal.
424
00:21:44,499 --> 00:21:46,407
你真粗鲁 快点啦，莫蒂
You're being very rude. Come on, Morty.
425
00:21:46,578 --> 00:21:48,965
- 求你了，他们会揍我的 - 什么？
- Please, they're gonna hit me. - What?
426
00:21:49,136 --> 00:21:52,843
乔治·克斯坦萨，你咋啦你？
George Costanza, what is the matter with you?
427
00:21:53,101 --> 00:21:55,139
帮我问候你父母
Tell your parents we said hi.