1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:09,200 Coming to you live from Downtown Jeddah, it's the Saudi Sunrise Show. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,880 Shaping up to be a scorcher here in Saudi's second city, 3 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,240 and from our studio 12 storeys above street level, 4 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:19,480 I can see traffic flowing in both directions on Prince Majid Road, 5 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,120 but expect a bit of congestion around Qabil Street. 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,960 VOICEOVER: It's Monday, and I'm covering the breakfast show 7 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,800 for a radio station I worked for 8 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,120 during my year living in Saudi Arabia. 9 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,080 And, thanks to the magic of technology, I'm able to broadcast 10 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,160 bright morning vibes and government-sanctioned messages 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,400 from a completely different time zone in a Norwich business park. 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,880 The time here in Jeddah is 8am. 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,560 Good morning, God is great. 14 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,400 Formerly known as Sand FM, this is Gulf Digital. 15 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,680 I'm Alan Partridge, doing the breakfast show, 16 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,120 covering for Kenny Badenoch, who can't be with us 17 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,080 after he fell off a quadbike doing a wheelie in front of some women. 18 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,800 Two words, Ken - throttle control. 19 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,840 MUSICAL STING 20 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,320 But now, time for tea, sponsored by Al Fahidi Arabian Teahouse 21 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,840 on Bahr Al Arab Street, and tea of the week is lemon verbena tea, 22 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,520 which...I have to say... 23 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,000 ..is smelling wonderfully fragrant. 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,440 Mm! 25 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,240 And... 26 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,800 Mm! ..doesn't taste half bad either. 27 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,720 This is ABBA and I Am a Tiger. 28 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,600 CALL TO PRAYER STARTS 29 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,280 Wrong button. This is ABBA and I Am a Tiger. 30 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,640 ABBA SONG STARTS 31 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,760 Spending five hours alone in this radio studio 32 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,480 drinking another man's Bovril makes me wonder, 33 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,240 do we need other people? 34 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,880 It's the question I'll be asking as I probe 35 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,560 the mental health of the nation, 36 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,800 in association with Flench & Son Tanning Centres. 37 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,440 Welcome to... 38 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,480 FROM BEHIND GLASS: How ARE you? 39 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:04,280 Is there any feeling in life like the feeling of being clean? 40 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,400 The pleasure of a correctly scrubbed body. 41 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,920 Every crevice, every hole, 42 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,760 bubble bath clean. 43 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,280 In 2024, I fronted an educational video for Help the Aged, 44 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,920 teaching elderly people how to wash properly. 45 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,720 In the end, the campaign - Wash with Alan - 46 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,640 never aired, due to creative differences. 47 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,200 But it's a useful reminder of how comfortable we are 48 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,360 talking about our physical hygiene, 49 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,360 but our mental hygiene, not so much. 50 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,560 Which is why I'm on a journey to better understand 51 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,480 the mental hygiene, or health, of the nation. 52 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,560 For, whilst it's considered polite to bathe alone, 53 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,720 unless you've got a new girlfriend, is it healthy to BE alone? 54 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,520 Or do we gain our mental strength from others? 55 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,440 It's something I'm pondering in Norwich on what I think of 56 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,920 as a cross between a think and a walk. 57 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,200 A thilk, or a... 58 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,160 No, just a thilk. 59 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,520 You join me on one of my Norfolk walks, 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,040 where it's me, alone with my thoughts, 61 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:16,440 and a 360-degree camera to capture it all. 62 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:22,440 You do get some strange looks from Norfolkonians, or Norwichidians. 63 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:27,240 They fear new things, be it air fryers, 64 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,960 women bishops or...gay dads, 65 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,800 and I must admit the last one took me a while, 66 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,920 but I was soon fully on board once the requisite checks were in place. 67 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,840 But it is marvellous out here, just... 68 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,920 ..just the bees, the trees, 69 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,640 shrubs and the grubs, the flowers, 70 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,560 and the occasional showers. 71 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,960 Yes, the sky and I. 72 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,760 It's quite easy, poetry, actually. 73 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,800 You don't need a degree, you just write what you see. 74 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,920 Listen to me - that's poetry! 75 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,920 Would you like a cup of... 76 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,320 No, just four. 77 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,600 I do love nature, but...push comes to shove, 78 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,880 I like humans, I like human company. 79 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,640 I'm happy to hug a tree once a year, but, er... 80 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,920 ..you can't take a tree for dinner with you. 81 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,480 You'd get some strange looks from diners 82 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,400 if you...if you did. 83 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,400 HE CHUCKLES 84 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,760 I must tell my friend, 85 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,920 the well-known Norfolk sunbed tycoon Daryl Flench, that one. 86 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,680 He made... He had a very funny comment. 87 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,760 He said, er... He said, "The thing about these tree huggers," he said, 88 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,040 "is if they take it any further, they're liable to get splinters." 89 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,720 Yes, very funny guy. 90 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,680 I mean, he's got his demons. 91 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,040 He's medically addicted to being suntanned, but he's all right. 92 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,600 Talk of the devil, 93 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,360 there's Daryl Flench's Range Rover parked next to Katrina's. 94 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,720 Hey, Daryl! 95 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,120 What's he doing at, er, Katrina's? 96 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,080 He probably thought... He saw my... He'll have seen my car 97 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,640 and thought I was in, 98 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,360 saw that I wasn't, gone across the road... 99 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,200 ..see what she's up to. 100 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,360 Yeah. 101 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,680 So, which side of the line are YOU on? 102 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,120 Like I say, I'm very much a people person, 103 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,880 one who fits effortlessly into different social tribes. 104 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,200 Far from being misogynistic, 105 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,520 the lyric "fat-bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go round" 106 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,240 is a statement of medical fact. 107 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,440 VOICEOVER: I'm at ease hanging out with my racket club pals in person, 108 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,840 or on a WhatsApp group called the Badminton Bad Boys. 109 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,480 Women have more prominent hindquarters 110 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,160 due to higher oestrogen levels 111 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,640 which deposit fat around the buttocks and thighs, 112 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,800 which attracts a mate, 113 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,400 which leads to the propagation of the human race. 114 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,080 So, figuratively speaking, 115 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,400 fat-bottomed girls do in fact make the rocking world go round. 116 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,280 I applaud him. Here's to you, Brian. To Brian. 117 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,560 Actually, he's still alive, isn't he? To Brian May. 118 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,400 To Dr Brian May. To Dr Brian. Cheers. Dr Brian. 119 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,280 VOICEOVER: We'll talk about everything from tax to cars, 120 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:59,720 with the chat only drying up when Eddie mentions his divorce again. 121 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,800 Ahhhh! 122 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,920 I'm also a social animal when it comes to my partner's girlfriends, 123 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,840 where I have the thrill of fitting into 124 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,600 an exciting new friendship group. 125 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,640 You wonder what she sees in him. 126 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,040 Just pop that there. Maybe he's got a big cock. 127 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,440 ALL CACKLE 128 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,840 Just let that steep for a minute. 129 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,480 VOICEOVER: They're a fantastic bunch, 130 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,000 and when the five of us get together, 131 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000 things can get pretty raucous. 132 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,720 There's a real joie de vivre, and it's great to just tag along. 133 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,800 WOMEN LAUGH AND CHAT 134 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,680 Yep, like it or not, humans are social animals, 135 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,920 and where once we herded together around campfires or churches, 136 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,320 today we gather around a different watering hole - the coffee shop. 137 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,360 In the atomised world of isolated living, 138 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,000 the coffee shop is one of the last bastions of human interaction. 139 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,960 And not even a grumpy Mumsnetter who leaves the door open 140 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,560 because she's got a pram and that means that she can't close doors 141 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,160 can spoil the cool vibes. 142 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,520 I'd like to order an americano, please. 143 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,720 Whenever you're ready. OK. 144 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,040 Well, can I have an americano, please? 145 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,680 You order it on the touchscreen. 146 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,960 But you're here. 147 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,560 I know, but you do it on the touchscreen. 148 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,240 OK. Why? 149 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,240 That's where you do it. 150 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,640 Right, and what happens then? 151 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,480 The order goes to the barista. 152 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,680 Who's that? 153 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,360 So, can you make the coffee? 154 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,600 Nothing's come through. 155 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,680 OK. "Start new order, 156 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,160 "takeaway, hot drinks, 157 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,720 "americano, medium, place order." 158 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,240 There we go. It says, "Placing order." 159 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,040 So, can you make it? 160 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,440 Does it say "placed" or "placing"? Placing. 161 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,560 Yeah, nothing's come through. OK. 162 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,640 Well... But can you not start making it? 163 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,000 I don't know what you want. 164 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,800 I want an americano, medium, to go... 165 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,920 Yeah, it's come through. Right, great, thank you. 166 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,880 Does it strike you as insane that you're there and I'm here 167 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,360 and we have to go through a robot middleman to order a coffee, 168 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,520 instead of me using my mouth 169 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,040 to communicate the information to your ears, 170 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,600 which is how human beings have done it for, oh, 10,000 years? 171 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,840 Got to be...got to be 10,000 years. 172 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,680 It wouldn't have been a coffee then, it would've been, I don't know, 173 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,680 woolly mammoth milk, something like that. What did you say? 174 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,160 VOICEOVER: It was ironic that the very technology 175 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,080 designed to bypass human interaction 176 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,320 actually sparked a lively conversation. 177 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,680 We talked about the internet, AI, 178 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,560 even how robots were once used to sell instant potato, 179 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:35,120 before leaving empty-handed. 180 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,040 Unfortunately, Gen Z seem incapable of saying, 181 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,160 "Hey, mate, you've forgotten your coffee." 182 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,640 But the visit to the cafe troubled me. 183 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,560 It seems technology is severing the ties that once bound us 184 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,680 and isolation is on the rise - 185 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:52,080 though this is stock footage, and that lady is not me. 186 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,880 But as I munch gum in a friend's vineyard, 187 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,680 I wonder - are we sleepwalking into isolation, 188 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,200 as one might sleepwalk nude into a kitchen, 189 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,760 or are some of us seeking it out? 190 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,040 It's something I first touched on 191 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,720 in a report for the BBC's This Time programme in 2021. 192 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,680 "Hell is other people." 193 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,480 So spoke French philosopher Jean-Michel Jarre. 194 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,200 VOICEOVER: A story on the UK's housing shortage, 195 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,600 during which I visited the home of co-renters 196 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,360 I mistakenly referred to as rent boys and rent girls, 197 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,920 for which I later apologised. 198 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,600 Meet Gina, as she quietly says hello. 199 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,200 A trainee physiotherapist living, like so many, 200 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,200 with the nightmare of forced proximity. 201 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,600 And how many people live here right now? 202 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,920 There's three of us. 203 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,640 But there's only two bedrooms. 204 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,720 They turned one of the rooms downstairs into another bedroom. 205 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,880 Which would've been the dining room. 206 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,440 Yeah. So, if you want to have a dinner party, ain't happening. 207 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,560 Yeah, we don't really do that. 208 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,800 I'd been asked to shine a light on what it's like 209 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,440 for a young generation forced to share space with others. 210 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,480 You have never known the joy, the pleasure, 211 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,240 of hosting a dinner party for, let's say, 212 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,600 the head of a local car dealership network and his charming wife, 213 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,760 a leading Rotarian and his charming daughter, 214 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,880 and a couple of charming divorcee friends... 215 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,840 VOICEOVER: Though, as the conversation went on, 216 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,320 I realised I knew nothing about the young generation. 217 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,880 Do you mind me asking how many bathrooms you have? One. 218 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,040 One each? 219 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,320 No, one between us. How does that work? 220 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,480 Well, when you're out, you kind of 221 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,160 just shout down the stairs, "Bathroom's free." 222 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,160 Right, so you literally have to shout? Yeah. 223 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,200 So, you're standing right where you are now. 224 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,320 Yeah. And you shout... 225 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,560 Bathroom's free. 226 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,800 "Bathroom's free!" 227 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,000 Exactly, yeah. 228 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,880 You know, your bathroom might not be free, 229 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,440 but your spirit bloody well is. 230 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,600 It's been a pleasure meeting you. 231 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,920 I'll see myself out. 232 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,240 It is below asking price, 233 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,240 but I'll put it to the vendor. 234 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,400 Yeah. 235 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,120 Oh, can I just put you on hold for a second? 236 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,600 The other bidder's just trying me. 237 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,800 Yeah, one sec. 238 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,920 Today, visiting Gina again, 239 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,920 I find things have changed beyond all recognition. 240 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,960 She no longer works as a physiotherapist, 241 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,760 instead working for a thriving nationwide estate agency. 242 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,760 Honestly, to hear the way you handled 243 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,240 those two customers earlier was a privilege. 244 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,040 And when I saw you play one buyer off against another, 245 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,680 I started to well up. Thank you. 246 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,080 And then when you had an audible conversation with a vendor 247 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,800 on the other line and I suddenly realised 248 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,480 there was no vendor, you'd invented him, 249 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,480 and the whole thing was an elaborate deception, 250 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,400 I thought, "My goodness, her confidence has blossomed." 251 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,840 It had been great to see Gina again and witness how living alone 252 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,600 had made her a happier, more effective person. 253 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,880 ..rabbit-like earlier, and then two fangs, which I've had flattened. 254 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,400 So, isolation at home is no bad thing. 255 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,680 But what about in the workplace? 256 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,680 Some people embrace solitude. 257 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,000 Lollipop men, male librarians, 258 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,800 and male dinner ladies, or dinnermen. 259 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,760 But if I were to say to you... 260 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:51,960 ..now... 261 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,400 ..crane drivers, you'd probably think, 262 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,280 "That's an interesting one, Alan, and one I hadn't thought of." 263 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,440 Mention hermits and people think of bearded cave-dwellers, 264 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,280 but today's hermits are found 200 feet in the air. 265 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,560 I'm talking about the men, and women - 266 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,720 there's one on a building site in Leeds - who operate cranes. 267 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,880 Partridge, you wanker! 268 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,840 I'm here at ground zero. 269 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,800 Don't worry, I don't mean the New York tourist attraction. 270 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,120 I mean, I'm simply standing on the ground. 271 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,000 And I'm here to talk to crane driver Paul Jones. 272 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,360 But I don't want to shout. 273 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,160 Solution - the first-ever British television interview 274 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,320 CONDICTED by walkie-talkie. 275 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,520 Conducted. 276 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,640 AS BOWIE: Ground control to Major Tom. 277 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,760 Can you hear me, Major Tom? Over. 278 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,920 LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT: My name's Paul. Right, yeah. 279 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,200 Can you see me? I'm wearing red, Paul. Over. 280 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,600 A red pullover? 281 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,000 No, I'm not wearing a red pullover, Paul. I'm wearing red, Paul. Over. 282 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,840 Although I am wearing a red pullover, Paul. Over. 283 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,840 Pullover pullover? So, you're wearing two... 284 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,480 No, just wearing one pullover, Paul. 285 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,680 Over. 286 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,120 I'm going to stop saying over, Paul. Over. That was the last one. 287 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,800 I enjoyed Paul's accent, 288 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,880 one of those slower Liverpudlian accents 289 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,120 a non-Liverpudlian can follow. 290 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,480 It's a fact many people find the Liverpool accent indecipherable, 291 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,400 which is why they cancelled Brookside. 292 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,200 We all have different ways of coping with solitude. 293 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,640 In the film Cast Away, Tom Hanks started going out with a football. 294 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,200 When I'm stuck on my own, I hum hymns, 295 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,840 or if I've got a wet mouth, I do freeform whistling. 296 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,680 What do YOU do? 297 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:23,040 I read, I observe, um... I embrace solitude. 298 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,040 What about friends? Do you get on with the other crane drivers? 299 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,360 No. Do you have a partner? 300 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,960 I'm a hermit who lives in a box 301 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,120 pissing into plastic bottles all day. 302 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,040 It's not a life people can get their head around. 303 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,120 Yeah, I wouldn't open with it on my Tinder profile. 304 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,600 It sounds quite lonely, Paul. 305 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,120 Does a shepherd get lonely as he watches his flock? 306 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,680 I don't know. 307 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,480 I think they just go on their phones. 308 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,480 Like Zeus looking down from Mount Olympus, I look down from on high 309 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:54,320 and see people like ants on their hind legs, with four spare arms. 310 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,760 You do get regular evaluations? 311 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,160 VOICEOVER: As the conversation went on, I began to question 312 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,800 whether the man was even IN a crane. 313 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,200 All I had was his word. 314 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,760 And remember, he was still essentially a builder. 315 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,120 ..throne in the sky. 316 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,360 The same way God created the world. 317 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,440 Yeah, but that's not being godlike, is it? 318 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,040 That's just being high up. 319 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,080 I mean, people who fly helicopters are high up, 320 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,720 but Noel Edmonds wouldn't say he was God. 321 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,640 That's a really bad example. 322 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,760 With no evidence to support his claim, 323 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:26,240 it was with regret I decided to terminate the interview at 10:56am. 324 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,480 How ARE you? 325 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,720 So, people matter, and having the right people around you 326 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,360 puts you firmly in the mental health driving seat, 327 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,560 even if some relationships call for more delicate handling. 328 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,320 Oh, I've got a man coming to tile the bathroom this afternoon, 329 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,240 so you'll need the keys and the money. 330 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,040 Right, well, there are the keys. 331 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,120 Are you going to be... Are you going to be out all day? 332 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,960 Yeah, I told you, I've got to go to London, 333 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,800 see my solicitor about that tenant. 334 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,600 Oh, the troublesome one. 335 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,920 Oh, yes. 336 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,880 She reckons that there's damp. 337 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,680 Yeah, well, there wasn't when she moved in. 338 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,120 She probably put it there. 339 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,760 Of course, an employer-employee dynamic is different to 340 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,000 a lover-lovee dynamic, 341 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,840 and the tension between them has to be navigated with care. 342 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,840 Remember to ask for that money. 343 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,080 Only I'm not certain she paid you back last time. 344 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,760 Perhaps I should keep a tally. 345 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,840 Lynn, a relationship is more than just penny-pinching 346 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,680 and bean-counting. 347 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:34,840 It's a two-way flow of goods and services, like the Irish border. 348 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,520 I'd just hate to think of you becoming a bit of a Denis Thatcher. 349 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,720 He got to meet a lot of very important wives. 350 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,360 Give her another chance, Lynn. 351 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,200 I know you probably think she's just a sexy witch, 352 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,880 but she goes to the gym three times a week, 353 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,720 and I love her unconditionally. 354 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,920 So, should I keep a tally? 355 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,280 Yes, keep a tally. 356 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,640 Don't crease it. 357 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,800 But away from the personal realm, 358 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,440 psychologists believe interaction with people 359 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,600 in our professional lives has mental BEALTH HENEFITS too. 360 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,560 I've headed to a train station with one of the fattest yellow lines 361 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,600 on the network to find out more. 362 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,320 As Norfolk's former car laureate, 363 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,440 tasked with promoting car use and ownership across the county, 364 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,080 I was contractually precluded 365 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,720 from using public transport wherever possible. 366 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,920 But today, I adore train travel, relaxing with my shoes off 367 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,240 as we wend our way past the golf courses 368 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,520 that make up our precious green belt. 369 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,240 For me, train travel is the best way to see Britain. 370 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,960 But I'm not talking about what you see out of the window. 371 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,440 I'm talking about what you find inside the train - the people. 372 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,760 Cup of coffee and a KitKat, please. 373 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,120 VOICEOVER: So, I've come to experience for myself 374 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,840 whether being one of these people 375 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,520 can improve the way we feel. And to test it out... 376 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,560 Sorry. 377 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,720 VOICEOVER: ..there can be no better job than this. 378 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,360 Tempt anyone, hot and cold snacks? 379 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,760 VOICEOVER: A train attendant. 380 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,120 Keep your elbows in, please. 381 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,120 VOICEOVER: Theirs is a life of constant interactions... 382 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,840 Morning. Just tuck your feet in there, love. 383 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,560 VOICEOVER: ..each one stimulating the release 384 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,440 of feel-good brain drug dopamine. 385 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,960 I like going backwards. 386 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,560 VOICEOVER: And, as I leaned into the role... 387 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,280 Teas and coffees! 388 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,280 ..I found myself able to cope with situations 389 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,880 that would normally be stressful. 390 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,000 There we go. 391 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,280 Oh. Ow! Ow! 392 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,120 I do apologise. It's my first day. I'll get you some ice. 393 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,000 We've got no ice. What can I get you to hold against it? 394 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,560 I can give you a can of Sprite. Oh, OK, thanks. £1.50. 395 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,440 Jesus... 396 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,360 It's not even cold. 397 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,800 I know. There's no ice. 398 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,120 I don't even want a Sprite. 399 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,200 Well, why did you buy one, then? Silly man. 400 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,280 VOICEOVER: And when my social battery began to dim 401 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,520 around Stowmarket, 402 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,480 my respect for Britain's trolley attendants only deepened. 403 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,280 Nothing a bit less rich? 404 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,800 Just what's on the menu. 405 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,440 Is the risotto any good? 406 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,120 It's train risotto. 407 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,600 If you, er... If you want a candlelit dinner, 408 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,320 I suggest you catch the Orient Express, 409 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,200 but I don't think it stops at Ipswich. 410 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,600 Just another one of its luxury features. 411 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,440 Is it any good? 412 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:05,000 Well, if you lower your expectations to a savoury rice pudding 413 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,960 with two mushrooms in it, er... 414 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,120 ..I won't say you won't be disappointed, 415 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,680 but you won't be AS disappointed. 416 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,840 I'll have one of them. Great. OK. 417 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,600 My colleagues will just get it out of the microwave. 418 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,160 Enjoy your meal. 419 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,640 Well, eat your meal. 420 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,960 Just not really appropriate. 421 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,000 I like to make a little joke, and most of them get it... 422 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,840 VOICEOVER: It's been a fascinating morning 423 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,280 serving snacks and hot drinks, 424 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,840 in which only a single passenger had been scalded. 425 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,480 For the afternoon, though, I was keen to try a role 426 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,040 with a dash more authority. 427 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,840 Tickets and passes, please. 428 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,800 Tickets and passes, please. Tickets and passes, please. 429 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,440 Tickets and passes, please. 430 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,640 Tickets and passes, please. 431 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,960 Hello. 432 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,680 Yeah, these are economy. They're not valid in first class, I'm afraid. 433 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,080 There's no room in economy, so... 434 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,920 Oh, there are two seats in the next carriage 435 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,440 and two seats in the very last carriage. 436 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,680 So, not together? They're not together, no. 437 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,280 So, if you just want to get your things... 438 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,560 VOICEOVER: Looking back now, 439 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,480 I realise that while initially enjoyable... 440 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,720 Can I see your railcard? 441 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,440 VOICEOVER: ..the authority I'd been granted was intoxicating. 442 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,840 Yeah, this is an off-peak ticket... 443 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,360 VOICEOVER: And, while I think it's important 444 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,760 the aisles were kept clear... 445 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,040 Want to pop your bag on the shelf provided? 446 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,360 VOICEOVER: ..the power was turning me into an Alan I didn't like. 447 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,960 Alan Sugar. 448 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,520 It was time to go home. 449 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,680 Station sign... 450 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,640 How ARE you? 451 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,000 Ahhh! 452 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,760 When it comes to mental health, 453 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,080 some say there's no better antidepressant 454 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,000 than the one you can pat on the head. 455 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,320 Dogs have been providing us with companionship 456 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,000 and a welcome mood boost for millennia. 457 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,680 And, while my friends in Saudi consider them to be unclean, 458 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,200 I disagree, though mean no disrespect whatsoever 459 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,240 to the Kingdom, or to His Excellency. 460 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:49,560 I am off to the local dog and cat rescue centre 461 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,160 to see if any of the inhabitants can win my affection, 462 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,520 which will be a tall order. 463 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,800 The last time I used the term "good boy" 464 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,000 was, er, for my late, great quadruped. 465 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,560 Seldom, the most wonderful dangerous dog in the world, 466 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:09,000 pictured here alongside a man who walked him when I didn't want to. 467 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,920 When a small dog dies, you move on, get a new one. 468 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,600 You never get over the death of a big dog. 469 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,400 So, um... 470 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,200 Oh, that's interesting. 471 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,920 That's Daryl Flench's Range Rover. 472 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,400 Yeah. 473 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:33,040 In a hotel car park, next to Katrina...Katrina's white one. 474 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,720 If I park the blue one next to it, 475 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,160 it looks like the French tricolour, which really, er... 476 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,040 It does not make Katrina happy, because... 477 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,120 Not that she hates the French, she just doesn't like Europe. 478 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,240 So, um... 479 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,800 I thought she was in London today. 480 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,000 HORN HONKS 481 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,000 Yeah, all right. 482 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,680 She's a sly fox. 483 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,520 Norwich Cats and Dogs Home 484 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,880 says it provides a safe and welcoming environment. 485 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,640 But then so did the home we put my mother-in-law in, 486 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,080 and the staff there stole some of her jewellery. 487 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,920 But it's the dogs I'm here to browse. 488 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,040 So, what happened to your dog? 489 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,640 He perished at a funfair. 490 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,840 He'd been seen behind a burger van drinking beef fat, 491 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,400 and I think his ticker just said, "Nope." 492 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,320 I mean, we're always looking for volunteers. 493 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,040 Well, I mean, I love dogs. Yeah? 494 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,160 Yeah. So, yeah, so, um... Well, what would it involve? 495 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,600 So, we do greet and checks at 7am, 496 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,520 then we clean the kennels and the common spaces 10 to 12. 497 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,600 10 to 12. Then midday feed, adoption visits all afternoon. 498 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,280 Got it. Then evening exercise, feed, final check. 499 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,360 Yep, yep, yep. And then at seven, we do an evening clean, 500 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,400 and then we're out by 10pm, usually. 501 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,800 Great. Well, if I hear of anyone, I'll let you know. 502 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,640 Yeah, OK. 503 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,360 BARKING 504 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,200 Oh, gosh, it's like Banged Up Abroad, 505 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,200 the doggie edition, isn't it? 506 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,120 Yeah, and they're all behind bars for smuggling drugs. 507 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:06,480 You wouldn't... You wouldn't hide drugs up your bum, would you? 508 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,640 Unless they were worming tablets. Have they been wormed? Yeah. 509 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,880 This is like Silence Of The Lambs. 510 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,640 You'd have no trouble eating my liver, would you? 511 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,360 All washed down with a nice bowl of water. 512 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,840 And they can see us as well? 513 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,280 Yeah. Yeah. 514 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,800 Hello! 515 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,760 Hello. Hello. 516 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,040 Hello. 517 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,960 Can he go on the bed if he's been a good boy? 518 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,160 It was sad to see these animals in here. 519 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,600 If I had my way, it's not dogs we'd lock up like this. 520 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,360 It's people. 521 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,440 Hello! 522 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,040 Can I meet this dog? Er, yeah. Yeah. Great. 523 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,200 Curly-haired brown dog. Come on. 524 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,480 Come on. Hello. Hello. 525 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,920 Oh, he jumped into my arms! What a smasher! 526 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,960 Yeah, you're a little smasher, aren't you? He's a great one. 527 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:01,880 I'm going to call him Dougie. 528 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,600 Oh, it's actually Sebastian. 529 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,440 Oh, how much for Dougie? 530 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,040 Oh, no, he's going to another family. 531 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,280 I'll double it. 532 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,680 No, it's not about the money. 533 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,520 They've filled in the forms, the kids are really excited to see him. 534 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,240 Four times. 535 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,680 No. Right, OK, just put the cameras down. 536 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,600 Put the camera down... 537 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,840 VOICEOVER: Off-camera, Lara was kind enough to put me 538 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,440 in touch with the dog's new family, 539 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,960 in order to ask if I could visit the dog once a month and stroke it. 540 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,480 While clearly not a natural redhead, 541 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:33,200 Lara's attitude was professional, friendly and caring, 542 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,600 which is why I'm naming her 543 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,040 as an Alan Partridge Community Champion. 544 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,440 Hello. 545 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,520 So, what have I learnt? 546 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,160 That good mental health isn't about surrounding yourself 547 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,800 with a crowd, or dogs. 548 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:49,320 It's about curating an effective network of key individuals. 549 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,120 So, returning home, I was pleased to find that, on my suggestion, 550 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,560 which was mandatory, 551 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,360 my assistant had made a bit more of an effort with my partner. 552 00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,760 They were sharing a bottle of MY wine. 553 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,280 Do you know, I've never noticed how bandy his legs are before. 554 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,680 He couldn't trap a pig in a ginnel. LYNN GIGGLES 555 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,360 The ginnel, it's the narrow passageway they used to have 556 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,360 between those old terraced houses that didn't have an inside toilet. 557 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,000 Lynn lived in one till she was 25. 558 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,360 He's very touchy about his legs. 559 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:17,360 VOICEOVER: But I always think gentle teasing brings people together. 560 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,600 Being able to laugh at yourself is key to good mental health. 561 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,080 Only kidding. So am I. 562 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,080 Mind you, I give as good as I get, and moments later I was 563 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,680 teasing Katrina no end with funny questions about where she'd been. 564 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,560 ..have dinner with him. OK, I'll give him a call, yeah. 565 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,400 Did I see your Range Rover parked outside a hotel in Norwich earlier? 566 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,520 No. 567 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,240 Oh, OK. Sorry, I thought I did. 568 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,480 Well, you couldn't have, cos I was in London, weren't I, you daft sod? 569 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,960 All right, cool, cool, cool. See you, sexy. 570 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,320 Not if I see you first. 571 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,800 The people in my life make me feel great. 572 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,960 But there was one final thing I was curious about. 573 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,520 If man did want to be on his own, 574 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,280 could technology help? 575 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,160 Throughout history, technology has risen to meet the challenge. 576 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,120 When we needed to hunt, spears. 577 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,800 When we needed transport, the wheel. 578 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,760 When we needed to tame nature, 579 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,920 man soon invented the strimmer. 580 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,000 But now we're in need of companionship, 581 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,840 can technology step up? 582 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,560 It's a subject that's fascinated me for weeks. 583 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,120 Using AI technology and advanced robotics, I believe that 584 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:24,880 a cyborg unit will soon become the norm in every British household. 585 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,480 I'd like you to meet Zuzan. 586 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,120 Hello, Zuzan. 587 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,640 Hello, Alan. Can I help you with anything? 588 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,200 Not right now, thank you. 589 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,640 Able to respond instantly to my commands, 590 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,920 she can provide service around the household 591 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,680 in a safe and reliable way. 592 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,000 Let's go inside. 593 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,840 A fascinating vision of what the future might hold. 594 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,320 A live-in physical appliance equipped with state-of-the-art AI. 595 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,280 It's expected that early iterations 596 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,200 will be able to perform a variety of household tasks. 597 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,960 I think I'll have the chicken Caesar salad, 598 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,680 but I don't want any anchovy in it. 599 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,320 I don't like any fish smaller than a fish finger. 600 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,760 If that's what you like. 601 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,520 The great thing is, Zuzan will learn that. 602 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,080 It will be logged and filed. 603 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,600 No more conversations like, "What did I say about not liking anchovy?" 604 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,360 Or responses like, "I'm sorry, but I've had a lot on my mind recently." 605 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,680 The slight chippiness in her tone is a sort of design glitch 606 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,240 that can be ironed out at the next software update. 607 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,200 Time for your vitamins and statins. 608 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,600 Thank you, Zuzan. 609 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,920 OK, seven across. A savoury pear... 610 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,080 Avocado. 611 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,640 Yeah. I was going to say that. 612 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,120 VOICEOVER: And companionship? Well, she'd be no slouch there either. 613 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:40,840 With a full charge, she'd be able to simulate good company, day or night. 614 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,520 OK, two down, seven letters. A north-westerly wind 615 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,480 which blows across southern France into the Mediterranean... 616 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,880 Mistral. Yeah, you're answering too quickly. Let me get some of them! 617 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,000 Of course, eventually each unit would recalibrate to reflect 618 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,960 the user's preferences. 619 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,560 But just think about that for a second. 620 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,000 An assistant incapable of irritating you. 621 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,520 And they can also be programmed to have the kind of conversations 622 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,400 you actually want to have. 623 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,160 The level of incompetence is absolutely staggering. 624 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,360 I know. They don't know their arse from their elbow. 625 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,760 Yeah, which begs the question, 626 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,640 what are we actually paying our council tax for? 627 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,880 Bloody diversity training, that's what. 628 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:18,960 Ha! 629 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,320 This is a prototype. The voice modulation isn't quite there yet. 630 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,840 But you're absolutely right. 631 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:31,520 So, dystopian nightmare or idyllic partnership between man and machine? 632 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,160 Only time will tell. 633 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,360 For now, though, I think I prefer the company of humans. 634 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,360 But...Zuzan, do join us. 635 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,480 You all right? Yes. Are you all right? 636 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,600 Yeah. 637 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,880 I lo... I like you.