Treating yourself like your own best friend.
It's probably the most common given advice regarding confidence and self-esteem.
But then it's also the most tricky to implement.
But because that advice is so often given, but so few of it is implemented, we have to go a bit deeper
into it.
And the first that really helped me is a metaphor of road lane assistance.
So some of you may know that.
Some of you may not.
But cars today, they have a road lane assistance.
So if you drive in a road on a highway and you get outside a road, it will warn you.
Sometimes it will even tweak a bit, but in the end, the car will let you move outside of it.
But then there's other cars that drive completely by themselves and they will not let you outside this
lane.
There was previously determined and treating yourself like your own best friend is similar to road lane
assistance.
So you go on your path and as you go out of it, there's warnings like, Hey, buddy, what's up?
What are you doing?
You treat this person unkindly.
What are you doing?
You are going outside your comfort zone.
What are you doing?
And based on that warning, you can decide what to proceed.
You go back to the lane or it was a different lane.
And being too harsh on yourself is just like the car that drives completely by itself and doesn't let
you see away from the pre-determined path.
Now, what does that mean in people terms, not car terms?
Treating yourself like your own best friend is pretty much treating yourself like your own best friend.
When your best friend has a hard time and it's difficult.
You are more kind to them.
Maybe they're not acting perfectly right.
They have off the breakup and the act a bit more harsh, a bit more stubborn, a bit more up and down.
But you think this person has his heart broken.
Give them some time.
Give them some space.
Let's treat them more kind.
But at the same time, if the same best friend really, really steps over the line.
Disrespect somebody is unkind to somebody, but very, very, very unkind.
Then you step in and say, Hey, buddy, can we talk between us, too?
And you really tell them, I know you're a great person.
Maybe you're going through difficult times, but this was too much.
And that's how you treat yourself.
You treat yourself with kindness.
You treat yourself with respect and also acceptance.
But once you go too much out of line, then you step in and say, Hey, you're not bad.
But this situation, yeah, we can do a lot better than this.
Similar to Rhode Island assistance.
Letting the friend.
Come on, let yourself go a bit here and there.
And here and there.
And then sometimes remember, you know, we kind of wanted to go there, so let's go there.
And that's the optimal way of treating yourself.