WWW.MY-SUBS.CO WWW.MY-SUBS.CO ﻿1
似乎今天你所看到的一切 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♬是电影里的暴力和电视里的色情 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
但是那些好的传统价值观在哪里呢 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♬我们曾经依靠的是什么？♪ ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
幸运的是有个顾家的人 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
幸运的是有一个人肯定能做到 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♬所有使我们成为我们的东西 ♪ All the things that make us ♪
♬哭吧笑吧！♪ ♪ Laugh and cry! ♪
♬他是个顾家的人！♪ ♪ He's a family guy! ♪
晚上好。我是汤姆·塔克。 Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
最新热播的相亲真人秀《性爱农场 The hot new reality dating show Sex Farm
要到夸荷来了。 is coming to Quahog.
参赛者隐藏自己的身份 Contestants conceal their identities
打扮成农场动物，希望能找到真爱。 by dressing as farm animals in hopes of finding love.
试镜将持续一周 Auditions are being held all week
在市中心长期空置的米拉麦克斯办公室。 at the long-empty Miramax offices downtown.
想象一下，用你母亲的名字命名一家公司 Imagine naming a company after your mother
然后骚扰所有进来的人。 and then molesting everyone who comes in.
试镜?也许我能遇见我的人。 Auditions? Maybe I could meet my person.
你的“人”吗? Your "person"?
哦，你的“人”是个好“人”吗？ Oh, is your "person" a good "human"?
你要把订婚戒指贴在， You gonna post your engagement ring with,
“这么说，这事刚刚发生了？” "So, this just happened"?
你要给VanLife加标签吗？ You gonna hashtag #VanLife?
你会在佛罗里达被谋杀吗？ You gonna get murdered in Florida?
没人会找你的，你个白种婊子。 No one's gonna look for you, you basic white bitch.
这一定会很棒的。 This is gonna be awesome.
-我要去试试。-祝你好运。 - I'm gonna try out. - Well, good luck.
我希望你的真人秀比我的好。 I hope your reality show goes better than mine did.
这一季， This season on Alone,
十二名选手将被淘汰。 twelve contestants will be dropped in the wilderness.
记住，你在镜头前，所以别手淫。 Remember, you're on camera, so don't masturbate.
我都没能落地。 I didn't even make it to the ground.
谢谢你今天能来，梅格。 Thank you for coming in today, Meg.
我们很想知道你是否有这个能力 We're excited to see if you have what it takes
上《性农场》 to be on Sex Farm.
谢谢。我需要为这次试镜做些什么吗？ Thanks. So, is there anything I need to do for this audition?
否。大多数现代海选 No. Most of modern auditions
我们只是在看你以前的推特吗 is just us going through all your old tweets
看看是否有种族歧视或恐同的诽谤。 to see if there are any racist or homophobic slurs.
我发现你从来没有转发过杨博文。为什么? Now, I see you've never retweeted Bowen Yang. Why?
我知道我错了，现在我明白了 I see that I was wrong, and I now understand
喜剧主要是关于对有趣的事情生气。 comedy is mostly about getting angry at funny things.
你在。 You're in.
这一季的《性农场》，我们来到了罗德岛的夸豪格， This season on Sex Farm, we're in Quahog, Rhode Island,
带着一群全新的角质家畜。 with an all-new cast of horny livestock.
怎么了，伙计们？ What's going on, guys?
是我，科里，来自科里的世界。 It's me, Corey, from Corey's World.
在被病毒式伏击之后 After being virally ambushed
在沃尔玛对我的继母大吼大叫时 while screaming at my stepmom in a Walmart,
我已经从YouTube降级到网络电视台了。 I've taken a demotion from YouTube to network television.
而且我完全没那么赚钱了 And I am totally less-profitably stoked
成为今晚《性农场》的主持人。 to be your host tonight on Sex Farm.
让我们来了解一下这些肮脏的动物。 Let's get to know these filthy animals.
这里没有中年老处女， No middle-aged spinster here,
我只是一只活泼的小猫咪。 I'm just a frisky little pussycat.
我来这里是因为睡在谷仓里 I'm here because sleeping in a barn
比打开的摔跤垫要好。 is preferable to an unfurled wrestling mat.
我准备好大吃大喝了。 I'm ready to swine and dine.
呼噜，呼噜，呼噜，呼噜。 Oink, oink, boink, boink.
讨厌的东西。鹿群将决定谁留下 Yuck. The herd will decide who stays
继续他们的爱情之旅 to continue their journey for love
谁会被赶出牧场。 and who gets put out to pasture.
《性农场》里的谷仓舞， All part of the barn dance here on Sex Farm,
我们的代词是“yee”和“haw”。 where our pronouns are "yee" and "haw."
我…我不明白。 I... I don't get that.
嘿,那里。漂亮的屁股。 Hey, there. Nice ass.
我想知道你是否愿意吃点猪肉。 I'm wondering if you're down for some porkin'.
我的天，这是在攻击它，不是吗？ Oh, my, that's going right at it, isn't it?
对不起，小猪，我认为你是一个邋遢鬼。 Sorry, little piggy, I think you's a sloppin'
在错误的槽。 at the wrong trough.
哦，抱歉。 Oh, uh, sorry.
嘿，你好。漂亮的屁股。 Uh, hey, there. Nice ass.
我想知道你是否愿意吃点猪肉。 I'm wondering if you're down for some porkin'.
我必须服用80毫克 I had to take 80 milligrams
因为我有 of Thorazine 'cause I'm having
这里有一个幽闭恐惧症患者。 a claustrophobic freak-out in here.
因此,通过。 So, pass.
哇，你真是匆匆忙忙地收拾好了。 Wow, you really packed that away in a hurry.
谢谢。 Thanks.
我可能穿得像只猪， I may be dressed like a pig,
但我有两个像牛一样的胃。 but I have two stomachs like a cow.
你有趣。 You're funny.
这不是一个真正的笑话。 It's not really a joke.
我活不过40岁。 I'm not expected to live past 40.
看来我在最后关头赶到了。 Looks like I made it just under the wire.
我才18岁。 I'm only 18.
你的利宝互助银行手提袋把我甩了。 Oh, your Liberty Mutual tote bag threw me off.
我就是这样拿散了的水果的。 It's how I carry my loose fruit.
我喜欢你。你不太努力。 I like you. You don't try very hard.
哦，我很努力了。 Oh, I'm trying very hard.
怎么了，伙计们？是你儿子科里。 What's going on, guys? It's your boy Corey.
记得看我的《客串》哦。 Be sure to check me out on Cameo.
制片人不让我提， The producers said I couldn't mention it,
但我敢打赌他们根本不看节目 but I'm betting they don't even watch the show.
所以，在农场寻找爱情的一个重要部分 So, a big part of finding love on the farm
让我们的选手去约会 is having our contestants go on dates
然后被音乐表演所震撼 and then be surprised by a musical act
你从来没听说过。 you've never heard of.
我简直不敢相信。我们走过拐角， I couldn't believe it. We walked around the corner,
还有巴顿·詹姆斯。 and there was Barton James.
难道你不愿意握住我的手吗？♪ ♪ Won't you hold my hand... ♪
-我的天啊。-我喜欢这首歌。 - Oh, my God. - I love this song.
♬让我明白…♪ ♪ Make me understand... ♪
巴顿·詹姆斯和一个戴着猪面具的女孩？ Barton James and a girl in a pig mask?
是啊，真是美好的一天。 Yeah, it was a pretty good day.
♬人♬ ♪ Man ♪
来看看，伙计们，Barton James的 Check it out, guys, Barton James'
新专辑《乡村女孩》现已上市 new album Country Girl is now available
在Deezer独家播放。 exclusively on Deezer.
我们必须这么说，不然他就不会出现了。 We had to say that or he wouldn't show up.
虔诚的克里斯蒂安·巴顿·詹姆斯没有接种疫苗 Devout Christian Barton James was unvaccinated
而且一般都很麻烦。 and a general pain in the ass to deal with.
怎么了，伙计们？ What's going on, guys?
约会结束了，差不多是时候了 Dates have ended, and it's almost time
看看谁有暖气 to find out who's got the heat
还有谁会被变成肉。 and who's being turned into meat.
粉丝最爱的《牛》恢复得不错 Fan favorite The Cow is recovering nicely
从他在集团库的惊恐发作中发现的。 from his panic attack at Group Coop.
我真的不在乎是否坠入爱河。 I don't really care if I fall in love.
我只是想结束这场演出， I just need to be done with this show,
越快越好。 like, as soon as possible.
我都没正常呼吸过… I haven't taken a normal breath in...
三天。 three days.
伙计们，如果你或你认识的人 Guys, if you or someone you know
正在与焦虑或抑郁作斗争， is struggling with anxiety or depression,
去SexFarm-BummedOut.com。 go to SexFarm-BummedOut.com.
野牌猪和鸡真的很合得来 Wild cards Pig and Chicken really hit it off
在集体粪便浴。 at the group feces bath.
让我们看看他们的联系是否还在继续 Let's see if their connection continues
乘坐直升飞机参加真人秀。 on their mandatory reality-show helicopter ride.
我真的很喜欢和你在一起。 I really like spending time with you.
你太自然了。 You're so spontaneous.
我也很喜欢你。 I really like you, too.
我很抱歉让你闻到屁味。 And I'm sorry for that fart you're gonna smell.
我知道你不会听到 I knew you wouldn't hear it,
但我没想到事情会这么糟 but I didn't think it was gonna be as bad as it was.
我确实听到了。 I actually did hear it.
我想我可能爱上你了。 And I think I might be falling in love with you.
嘿,伙计们, Hey, guys,
我有一条规则是什么？ what was the one rule I had?
不要在直升机上放屁。 No farting in the helicopter.
我杀了本·拉登，现在我要这么做。 I killed bin Laden, now I'm doing this.
在我们揭晓哪对会是第一名之前 Before we find out which couple will be the first
把它放出来，我们要贴一个二维码 put out to pasture, we're gonna put up a QR code
和Deezer有直接联系 that's a direct link to Deezer,
在那里你可以听到巴顿·詹姆斯和凯尔·里滕豪斯的二重唱。 where you can hear Barton James' duet with Kyle Rittenhouse.
第一对被淘汰的是… And the first eliminated couple is...
猪和鸡。 Pig and Chicken.
也就是说粉丝最爱的牛还留在农场里。 Which means fan favorite Cow remains on the farm.
我告诉制片人乔什 I told producer Josh
我非常想回家。 I desperately want to go home.
猪和鸡，把你们的干草收起来 Pig and Chicken, turn in your hay
然后去屠宰场。 and head to the slaughterhouse.
抱歉把你拖下水了。 Hey, I'm sorry I dragged you down.
我很抱歉在贝瑟妮·弗兰克尔面前让你难堪。 And I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of Bethenny Frankel.
那是贝瑟妮·弗兰克尔吗？ That was Bethenny Frankel?
我以为是稻草人。 I thought it was a scarecrow.
乌鸦很害怕。 Well, the crows were scared.
-她走了吗？——我……我不知道。 - Is she gone? - I... I don't know.
我…我是说，我想要玉米，但我不想听 I... I mean, I want the corn, but I don't want to have to hear
她在约会中遇到了多大的麻烦。 about how much trouble she's having dating.
好吧，我想就是这样了。 Well, I guess this is it.
它持续的时候很好。 It was nice while it lasted.
等待,猪! Wait, Pig!
——是吗?-我都不知道你的名字。 - Yes? - I don't even know your name.
我是梅格。 I'm Meg.
我只是担心你对我没那么感兴趣 I'm just worried you won't be as attracted to me
当我脱下这个的时候。 when I take this off.
你穿得像只猪。 You're dressed like a pig.
我要碰碰运气。 I'll take my chances.
我是对的。 I was right.
你比猪还漂亮。 You are prettier than a pig.
轮到你。 Your turn.
我才不管你戴着面具是什么样子。 And I don't care what you look like under that mask.
那很好，因为…… That's good, because...
我是一只鸡。 I'm a chicken.
我叫金块。 My name is Nugget.
等等，你和那只大鸡不是亲戚吧？ Wait a minute, you're not related to the giant chicken, are you?
他是我爸爸。 He's my dad.
什么事，彼得？ What is it, Peter?
我忘记上大学了。 I forgot to go to college.
梅格，你来了。 Oh, Meg, there you are.
坐下来。我们在看《性农场》。 Sit down. We're watching Sex Farm.
-你看过吗？-妈，我在查 - Have you seen it? - Mom, I was on it.
-我是猪。——什么? - I was the pig. - What?
是啊，我也不记得了，不过你看看。 Yeah, I don't remember that, either, but check it out.
牛逃跑了，然后粉丝投票把它带回来了。 The cow escaped and then a fan vote brought him back.
他们发现他躲在福来鸡的广告牌上。 They caught him hiding on one of those Chick-fil-A billboards.
再一次，请不要给我投票。 Once again, please stop voting for me.
这是求救的呼声。我对天发誓，我会跳下去的。 This is a cry for help. I swear to God, I'll jump.
那家伙真有趣。 That guy is so funny.
我要给他投一百票。 I'm gonna vote for him a hundred times.
好吧，玩得开心。 Well, have fun.
你打扮得这么漂亮要去哪里？ Where are you going all dolled up?
怎么啦？这并不是对娃娃的冒犯。 What? Oh, that is not offensive to dolls.
不要再让自己生气了。 Stop trying to make yourself angry.
-我有约会。-和谁？ - I have a date. - With who?
没有你认识的人。再见。 Um, nobody you know. See you later.
她又约会了？ She's dating again?
她见到的那个魔术师怎么样了？ Whatever happened to that illusionist she was seeing?
我从没离开过，彼得。 I never left, Peter.
哇。等等，你怎么还在这儿？ Wow. Wait, why are you still here?
我是个魔术师，所以我要么无家可归 Well, I'm an illusionist, so I'm either homeless
或者我在拉斯维加斯有1亿美元的居住权。 or I have a $100 million residency in Las Vegas.
天啊，那头牛真的要跳了。 Oh, my God, the cow is really gonna jump.
是你逼我这么做的。 You made me do this.
这都怪你，制片人乔什。 This is on you, producer Josh.
我很好。 I'm all right.
我刚刚着陆。 I landed just so.
了解你的世界真是太酷了。 It's so cool learning about your world.
好吧，告诉我， So, okay, tell me this,
桑德斯上校是你的阿道夫·希特勒吗？ is Colonel Sanders like your Adolf Hitler?
不，上校是个诚实的人。 No, the colonel is an honest man.
我们的阿道夫·希特勒是肯尼·罗杰斯 Our Adolf Hitler is Kenny Rogers,
和他那愚蠢的肯尼·罗杰斯烘焙店 with his stupid Kenny Rogers Roasters.
肯尼罗杰斯吗?赌徒吗? Kenny Rogers? The gambler?
不，不是那个赌徒。 No, not the gambler.
他是那个遇见赌徒的叙述者， He was the narrator who met up with the gambler,
然后分享了他从赌徒那里学到的东西 and then shared things he had learned from the gambler
但赌徒却没有。 but at no point was the gambler.
我只知道他看起来像40岁 Well, all I know is that he looked like he was 40
从他20岁到90岁。 from the time he was 20 until the time he was 90.
死的时候无法闭上眼睛，没错。 And died unable to close his eyes, yes.
现在，野餐怎么样？ Now, how about that picnic?
♬当一个女孩爱上一只鸡 ♪ When a girl loves a chicken ♪
♬不能把她的心思放在其他事情上 ♪ Can't keep her mind on nothing else ♪
♬她愿意用整个世界来交换 ♪ She'd trade the world ♪
因为她找到了美好的东西 ♪ For the good thing she's found ♪
♬当一个女孩爱上一只鸡 ♪ When a girl loves a chicken ♪
♬我知道怎么做 ♪ I know exactly how ♪
♬她觉得♬ ♪ She feels ♪
那是我睡得最好的一觉 That was the best night's sleep
这是我很久没有吃过的。 I've had in ages.
我爱你，梅格，不仅仅是因为 I love you, Meg, and not just because
你的名字里有“鸡蛋”。 you have "egg" in your name.
我也爱你，金块。 I love you, too, Nugget.
我想继续和你见面，但如果我们的爸爸发现了怎么办？ I want to keep seeing you, but what if our dads find out?
我想我们只能活在谎言中，就像乔治·桑托斯一样。 I guess we'll have to live a lie, like George Santos.
嗨，我是同性恋直男犹太纳粹乔治·桑托斯， Hi, I'm gay-straight Jewish Nazi George Santos,
我赞同这条信息。 and I approve this message.
也就是说这是我经历过的最糟糕的事 Which is to say it's the worst thing that's happened to me
自从我死于911之后早上好晚上好。 since I died on 9/11. Good morning night.
这是18个月前写的。新的谎言不包括在内。 This was written 18 months ago. New lies not included.
金块吗?你在这里做什么？ Nugget? What are you doing here?
我刚好在附近，想我们可以 I was in the neighborhood and thought we could
Netflix和chill或者Peacock和。 Netflix and chill or Peacock and.
孔雀。我们没有《宋飞正传》和《老友记》 Peacock. Somehow we don't have Seinfeld or Friends,
我们不能给你看《科斯比的世界》 and we can't show you The Cosby Show.
梅格，能帮我个忙吗 Hey, Meg, can you give me a hand
紧握着这些T先生徽章？ clasping these Mr. T medallions?
我有个活动。 I have an event.
你那长着羽毛的朋友是谁？ Who's your fine-feathered friend?
爸爸，这是我男朋友纽格。 Dad, this is my boyfriend Nugget.
他的父亲是一只巨大的鸡。 His father is the giant chicken.
就是这样，小姐， That's it, young lady,
孔雀一个月不能来。 no Peacock for a month.
没有孔雀? No Peacock?
那我去哪里看《疯狂原始人》呢？ But where will I watch The Croods?
那不是我的问题。 That's not my problem.
孔雀。我想我们没有 Peacock. I don't think we have
也不是白宫西翼。 The West Wing either.
在梅格可以选择的所有鸡中， Of all the chickens Meg could have chosen,
她必须选择那个。 she had to choose that one.
彼得，你得退后。 Oh, Peter, you got to back off.
我父亲从未停止过对我的斥责 My father never stopped berating me
当我和你约会的时候，作为一种反抗行为 when I was dating you, so as an act of defiance
我嫁给你就是为了报复他。 I married you just to spite him.
这似乎无关紧要。 That seems irrelevant.
我不知道，露易丝，感觉就像 I don't know, Lois, it feels like
我失去了女儿。 I've lost my daughter.
也就是说我有两个儿子。 Which means I have two sons.
如果我幸运的话，他们会参军， If I'm lucky, they'll join the army,
然后通知我他们都死了 and I'll be notified that they both died
同一天。 on the same day.
你的两个儿子因为剃头而死 Your two sons died getting their heads shaved
在取向。 at orientation.
他们连兵营都没进。 They didn't even make it to the barracks.
哦，自由的代价！ Oh, the cost of freedom!
这是一面我们懒得折的旗帜。 Here's a flag we didn't bother to fold.
我真的很感谢你邀请我共进晚餐， I really want to thank you for inviting me to dinner,
格里芬夫妇。 Mr. and Mrs. Griffin.
嘿，金块，你看过法比奥的视频吗 Hey, Nugget, you ever seen that video of Fabio
被鹅打脸？ getting hit in the face by a goose?
-太搞笑了。-不是为了鹅。 - It's hilarious. - Not for the goose.
-她被杀了。-那就更搞笑了 - She was killed. - Oh, then that's doubly funny.
法比奥鼻子流了血，一只鸟死了。 Fabio's got a bloody nose and a bird is dead.
格里芬先生，那只鹅是有名字的。 Mr. Griffin, that goose had a name.
是伊夫林。她有23个孩子。 It was Evelyn. And she had 23 children.
来，让我给你看看她的GoFundMe页面。 Here, let me show you her GoFundMe page.
你们的无线网密码是多少？ What's your guys' Wi-Fi password?
是“鸡渣”外加22个感叹号。 It's "ChickensAreScum," and then 22 exclamation points.
当我们在Airbnb上租房子的时候，它就在公告栏上。 It's on the bulletin board for when we Airbnb the house.
彼得，我们不是要租房子。 Peter, we are not Airbnb-ing the house.
也许已经太迟了。 Eh, it might be too late for that.
嘿，楼上浴室里有肥皂吗？ Hey, is there any soap in the upstairs bathroom?
如果你看过PDF，上面说你必须自己带肥皂。 If you read the PDF, it said you had to bring your own soap.
嗯，我就把洗发水当肥皂用。 Well, I'll just use the shampoo as soap.
他是医科学生 He's a medical student.
你们对我男朋友太没礼貌了。 You know, you guys are being very rude to my boyfriend.
-我爱他。-我受够了。 - I love him. - I've had enough.
梅格，我给你一个老番茄。 Meg, I'm giving you an old tomato.
最后的要求或条款声明， And a final demand or statement of terms,
拒绝它会导致报复 the rejection of which will result in retaliation
或者永久断绝关系。 or a permanent cessation of relations.
你要么跟他分手，要么跟我分手。 You either break up with him or you break up with me.
你不能两个都约会。 You can't date us both.
爸爸，你和我没有约会。 Dad, you and I aren't dating.
这么说你已经做出选择了。 Oh, so you've made your choice, then.
我想要回我的番茄。 Well, I'd like my tomato back.
我去收拾行李。 I'll pack my bags.
包什么?她真的一无所有。 What bags? She literally owns nothing.
伙计们，在我走之前，我有句话要说。 Guys, before I go, I have one thing to say.
这是“暂停《最后生还者》”式的对话吗 Is this a "pause The Last of Us" type of conversation
或者我可以用“嗯哼”来解决这个问题？ or can I "uh-huh" my way through this?
-彼得，把它关掉。——嗯。 - Peter, turn it off. - Uh-huh.
如果你不接受金块，你就不接受我。 If you don't accept Nugget, you don't accept me.
我要搬去和他一起住。 I'm moving in with him.
你知道英国人会怎么称呼这个吗？ You know what the British are gonna call this?
Megxit。他们是一个聪明的小岛。 Megxit. They're a clever little island.
梅格，求你别走。 Meg, please don't go.
你是我唯一的女儿 You're my only daughter
我无法想象没有你的生活 and I can't imagine living without you.
另外，我需要你的投票来留住比利·拜斯 Plus, I need your vote to keep a Billy Bass
-离开我们的客厅。-对不起，妈妈。 - out of our living room. - I'm sorry, Mom.
我已经决定了。再见。 My decision has been made. Goodbye.
好吧，现在是个好时机 Well, now seems like a good time
重新对比利·拜斯进行投票 to reopen the Billy Bass vote.
赞成的，说“好”。 All in favor, say aye.
——啊。——啊。 - Aye. - Aye.
-都反对吗？——不。 - All opposed? - Nay.
——现在。——懦夫。 - Present. - Coward.
比利·巴斯同意了。 Billy Bass approved.
比利，你觉得梅格会怎么说 Billy, what do you think Meg's gonna say
给优步司机吗？ to the Uber driver?
♬带我去河边 ♪ Take me to the river ♪
♬把我扔到水里 ♪ Drop me in the water ♪
没有梅格，我们也很兴旺。 Ah, we are thriving without Meg.
出什么事了吗，彼得？你几乎没碰我们的食物。 Is something wrong, Peter? You've barely touched our food.
我听邦妮说梅格搬出去了 I heard from Bonnie that Meg moved out of the house
露易丝永远不能母乳喂养。 and Lois could never breastfeed.
怎么啦？你怎么知道的？ What? How'd you hear that?
邦妮订阅了一项服务 Oh, Bonnie subscribes to a service
每当另一个妈妈失败时，这就会提醒她。 that alerts her any time another mom fails.
-太疯狂了。-我知道。 - That's wild. - I know.
唐娜给了小克利夫兰。 Donna gives Cleveland Jr.
无限的电子游戏时间，但是…… unlimited video game time, but...
彼得，梅格不在家是不是很奇怪？ Peter, isn't it weird with Meg out of the house?
不，没关系。不过，我们有更多的老鼠 Nah, it's fine. Although, we got a lot more mice
-现在在房子周围。——老鼠? - around the house now. - Mice?
是啊，梅格解决了我们所有的啮齿动物问题。 Yeah, Meg handled all our rodent problems.
她过去常常挤压他们，把他们的头打爆。 She used to just squeeze 'em and pop their heads off.
除了一个她会活着离开 All except one that she'd leave alive
跑去把故事讲给其他人听。 to run and go tell the story to the others.
梅格是个好女孩。 Meg's a nice girl.
是的，当我改造我的房子时， Yeah, when I remodeled my house,
梅格把所有丢弃的绝缘材料拖走。 Meg hauled away all the discarded insulation.
不知道她怎么处理的。 Don't know what she did with it.
是啊，梅格很棒。 Oh, yeah, Meg's great.
她超便宜地卖给我一大堆绝缘材料。 She sold me a ton of insulation super-cheap.
天啊，你们说得对。 Oh, my God, you guys are right.
有一次，梅格从楼梯上摔了下来 This one time, Meg fell down the stairs
和她……和…她的锁骨骨折了。 and she... and... and she broke her clavicle.
伙计们，我想我想梅格了。 You guys, I think I miss Meg.
关于楼梯的故事还会有更多的内容吗？ Was there gonna be more to the story about the stairs?
我们去大鸡家怎么样 What do you say we go to the giant chicken's house
把我女儿接回来？ and get my daughter back?
-我加入。-我们开始吧。 - I'm in. - Let's do it.
所以你笑是因为你女儿受伤了？ So the laughing was 'cause your daughter hurt herself?
亲爱的，你是点了一大袋垃圾吗？ Honey, did you order a fat bag of crap?
站在一边。我是来救我女儿的。 Stand aside. I'm here to get my daughter back.
她不会跟你一起去的。 She's not coming with you.
-她在这里很开心-你确定吗？ - She's perfectly happy here. - Are you sure?
我们会让你不虚此行。 We can make this worth your while.
我们准备用布兰妮·格里纳做交易。 We're prepared to trade Brittney Griner.
嘿，别拿我做交易。 Hey, stop trading me.
我只想打篮球。 I just want to play basketball.
显然是抽大麻。 And smoke weed, apparently.
我没有抽，我只是拿着。 I wasn't smoking it, I was just carrying it.
无论什么。我还在为换来你而生气 Whatever. I'm still mad we traded for you
而不是另一个人，他的名字 instead of that other guy, whose name
我从来没有听说过，也不记得了。 I had never heard of and can no longer remember.
是啊，那个可怜的家伙。 Yeah, that poor guy.
带他回家，不管他叫什么。 Bring him home, whatever his name is.
爸爸，你在这里做什么？ Dad, what are you doing here?
梅格，别再胡闹了。 Meg, this nonsense has to stop.
你是狮鹫，而且…… You're a Griffin, and...
是时候…做…… it's time to, uh... Do...
你的邻居总是有弹跳屋吗 do your neighbors always have that bounce house
或者这是…这是一个特殊的场合吗？ or is this... is it a special occasion?
-我真的不知道。-好吧，但是梅格 - I really don't know. - Okay, yeah, but Meg,
我是认真的。我们都很想你，而且…… I mean it. We all miss you, and...
一个胖女人滚进去了。 Oh, a heavy lady's rolling into it.
可能是喜欢玩的阿姨吧。 Probably the aunt who likes to have fun.
哇，她的脸很快就红了。 Wow, her face got red quick.
爸，我跟你说过了，纳格特和他的家人 Dad, I told you, Nugget and his family
对我比你们以前都好。 treat me better than you guys ever did.
而且我不会回家了。爸爸? And I won't be coming home. Dad?
这是钢铁侠的房子！ It's a Iron Man house!
好吧，我觉得我们得重新集结一下。 Okay, you know what, I think we need to regroup here.
很抱歉打扰你了。 We're sorry to have bothered you.
我压扁了一个男孩。 I squashed a boy.
哦，别这样，振作起来，彼得。 Oh, come on, cheer up, Peter.
听着，把梅格的事抛诸脑后最好的办法 Look, the best thing to do to put all this Meg drama behind us
是一项有趣的家庭活动，我们可以一起做。 is a fun family activity that we can all do together.
我今天本来就该来的， You know, I was supposed to be here today anyway,
但后来泰勒取消了他的生日派对 but then Tyler cancelled his birthday party.
圣代冰淇淋配哈瑞宝牌小熊软糖？ Ice cream sundae bar with Haribo brand gummi bears?
泰勒!泰勒!泰勒! Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!
泰，看来我们搞错了，是吧？ Hey, Ty. Guess we got our wires crossed, huh?
我…这是一个数字问题。 I... It was a numbers thing.
我想是他父母让他邀请了t球小孩。 I think his parents made him invite the T-ball kids.
好吧，爸爸！是啊! All right, Dad! Yeah!
-干得好，大鸡！——是的! - Good job, Giant Chicken! - Yes!
我失去了女儿。 I've lost my daughter.
来吧，伙计们。 Come on, gang.
家庭Instagram账号的集体自拍。 Group selfie for the family Instagram account.
每个人都说“种子”。 Everybody say "seeds."
种子! Seeds!
格里芬吗?你想要什么？ Griffin? What do you want?
嗯，我… Um, I, uh...
梅格，你有一元钞票吗 Meg, do you have a flat dollar bill
换零钱？ for the change machine?
我想玩街机。 I wanted to play the arcades.
-我们不玩街机。——书呆子。 - We don't play the arcades. - Nerds.
因为我们有单口相声 Because we have stand-up games
-在我们地下室的娱乐室。——哦。 - in our basement rec room. - Aw.
看来你只能将就了 Guess you'll just have to make do
还有你那皱巴巴的。 with your crinkled ones.
嗯。 Eh.
亲爱的，散粒好吃。 Honey, the scattered grain is delicious.
-你超越了自己。-别谢我 - You outdid yourself. - Well, don't thank me.
感谢孟山都公司的好人， Thank the good people at Monsanto,
谁制作了美味的谷物 who make delicious grain that's packed with
抗抑郁药和类固醇。 antidepressants and steroids.
我很高兴你决定来和我们住在一起，梅格。 I'm so glad you decided to come live with us, Meg.
我也是。 Me too.
但我还是忍不住为我爸爸感到难过 But I couldn't help feel a little sorry for my dad
在保龄球馆。 at the bowling alley.
他在防守队员在场的情况下投球。 He bowled with the lane guards up.
没有了沟球的危险， Without the jeopardy of a gutter ball,
保龄球是什么？ what is bowling?
他只是有他自己的做事方式。 He just has his own way of doing things.
-是啊，用错了。-蜂蜜… - Yeah, the wrong way. - Honey...
不，她知道。这就是她离开的原因。 No, she knows. That's why she left.
否。我离开是因为我爱你儿子， No. I left because I love your son,
不是因为我恨我爸爸 not because I hate my dad.
梅格，要么你恨你爸爸 Meg, either you hate your dad
不然你就离开这房子。 or you leave this house.
一个老番茄。 An old tomato.
你就像他一样。 You're just like him.
你说什么？ What did you say?
你只是……喜欢……他。 You're just... like... him.
等等,我……我不能打你。你是个女孩。 Wait, I... I can't hit you. You're a girl.
嗯。 Huh.
梅格，我很高兴你意识到了 Oh, Meg, I'm so happy you realized
你应该待在家里和你父亲在一起。 your place is here at home with your father.
事实并非如此。 It really wasn't that.
它只是…我的东西都在这儿。 It's just... all my stuff is here.
什么东西? What stuff?
还有，金块是同性恋。 Also, turns out Nugget's gay.
我看了他的短信，全是小鸡巴。 I saw his texts and it's all tiny cocks.
哦，“鸡块”鸡块？ Oh, "Nugget" Nugget?
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