(前情提要)
特技替身永远都会摔倒 Stunt people always fall.
但诀窍是要记得站起来 并确保你不会成为尘土 But the trick is you get up and make sure you don't become dust.
赛丝 Sazz...
至于枪手 非常好 The shooter, very good.
他们在西塔发现一个 300温彻斯特麦格农的弹壳 A single .300 Win Mag casing was found in the West Tower
就在14F公寓 住户的名字是M杜登奥夫 in apartment 14F, belonging to a tenant by the name of M. Dudenoff,
退休的教授 邻居们只随口说他在外地 retired professor, who the neighbors are conveniently saying he's not in town.
他在葡萄牙 He's in Portugal.
邻居们听到枪声时 正忙着玩牌 Neighbors are busy playing card games when they hear the gunshot.
- 我叫牌成功了 - 对 - What, I achieved? - Yes!
你得到参观浴室的机会了 I think that earns you a trip to the bathroom.
- 那是人吗 - 别胡说了 是火腿 - Is that a person? - Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham.
不行...不行 这部电影非拍不可 No, no, no, no. This movie has to happen.
只有这样我才能跟上 我性感 成功的女朋友 It's the only way I can keep up with my sexy, successful girlfriend.
你们好 Hi!
罗芮塔 你愿意... Loretta, will you...
什么 我愿意什么 Will what? Would I what?
你不相信杜登奥夫在葡萄牙 You don't believe Dudenoff's in Portugal?
我不相信 I'm not convinced.
他不会乐见你住进来 Well, he's not gonna be happy you're here.
正合我意 I'm counting on it.
如果他发现我在这占屋 If he finds out I'm squatting here,
就必须亲自来把我赶走 he'll have to show his face to kick me out.
他们其中一人杀了赛丝吗 Did one of them kill Sazz?
我们会查出来的 We're gonna find out.
我做了非常详细的无线电日志 I kept a very detailed ham radio journal.
有个人上线说:「到445见我」 A person came on the line and said, "Meet me at 445."
杜登奥夫是谁 Who is Dudenoff?
上一个跑来问这些问题的人被杀了 The last person who came around asking these questions got killed.
在电影片场 到处都是自大狂 A movie set is filled with egomaniacs.
但好的特技替身... But a good stunt double...
赛丝 Sazz!
...必须把自大放一旁 只当个狂人 ...must set the ego aside and just be a maniac.
等等我 Hey, wait up!
赛丝 Sazz?
赌上生命和肢体 让演员走路有风 Risking life and limb to make their actor look good.
我们要去哪里 Where are we going?!
乐园 Paradise...
对特技替身来说 For the stunt double, their actor is number one.
他们的演员是最重要的人
对演员来说 For the actor?
这件事...不总是这么明确 Well, it's not always so clear.
好 我凌晨3点就起来做事 Alright, I've been up since 3:00 working.
不是一直都在做事啦 Well, not working the whole time.
我花了两小时找有开的文具量贩店 I spent two hours looking for an all-night Staples,
不过我做了这个 but then, I built this.
第二个谋杀线索板 A second murder board.
你为这个逼我起床 You dragged me outta bed for this?
有工作的成年人8点前就起来了 Most working adults are up by 8:00 a.m.
对 那是农民吧 Yes, but, like, farmers.
听着 如果我们真要把赛丝视为目标 Look, if we're gonna take Sazz seriously as a target,
她就该有自己的线索板 she deserves her own board.
无线电上的声音说赛丝被杀 The voice on the radio says that Sazz was killed
是因为她在打听西塔的事 because she was asking questions about the West Tower,
而且赛丝是火腿无线电爱好者 and Sazz was a ham radio hobbyist.
我喜欢 I like it.
可能会让线上电台多个卖点 Could be a good hook for the podcast.
这一季 我们不只要追查凶手 This season, we're not just searching for the killer.
也要追查死者 We're searching for the victim, too.
- 奥利佛 你要录下来吗 - 给我十分钟 - Oliver, do you wanna record that? - Just gimme 10 minutes.
「乐园」是什么 What's "Paradise"?
(乐园 )
没什么 只是某个人对我说的话 Uh-- Nothing. It's just-- It's just something someone told me.
- 谁 - 赛丝 - Who? - Sazz.
什么时候 When?
昨天晚上 Last night.
在我梦里 In my dream.
问他能不能画出时钟 Ask him if he can draw a clock.
如果画不出来 就是阿兹海默症 If he can't draw a clock, it's Alzheimer's.
听着 别管这个 这不重要 Look, forget about this. This is not important.
重点是 如果赛丝是目标 我们就得了解她的生活 The point is, if Sazz was the target, we need to fill in the blanks of her life.
我跟她显然很亲近 Now, obviously, she and I were very close.
我们分享一切 We shared everything.
两任女朋友 Two girlfriends,
招牌造型 a signature look,
罕见到进了红十字会名人堂的血型 and a blood type so rare, it's in the Red Cross Hall of Fame,
但她从没告诉我 她为什么要打听西塔的事 but she never told me why she was asking questions about the West Tower.
我走进死胡同了 Well, I've hit a dead end there.
无线电上的声音消失了 The voice on the radio has gone silent,
我开始占屋以后 西塔仔就对我非常冷淡 and the Westies have been freezing me out since I started squatting.
文斯穿着内衣 在对那条动物的腿做什么 What is Vince doing in his underwear with that animal leg?
就算他们不是邪教 跟邪教也只有一线之隔 If they're not a cult, they're definitely cult-adjacent.
那是葡萄牙国旗 That's a Portuguese flag.
或是葡萄牙人说的「五盾旗」 Or as the Portuguese call it, Bandeira das Quinas.
我永远都认得那个双色块 I'd recognize that bi-colored rectangle
旗杆端的绿色 还有外端的红色 with the green on the hoist and the red on the fly anywhere.
奥利佛 你要来看... Oliver, you wanna come see the--
奥利佛 你怎么这么想睡 Oliver, why are you so sleepy?
不知道 通常你迷人的国旗知识 就像肾上腺素一样 I don't know. Usually, your riveting flag facts are like a shot of adrenaline.
我昨晚几乎没睡 I barely slept last night.
罗芮塔一如往常地在下戏后打给我 Loretta called me, as usual, after she wrapped on set,
我们...聊得蛮愉快的 and we had a, you know, a nice chat.
比平常简短了点 A little shorter than usual.
然后她就得挂电话了 And then, she had to run.
于是我稍微陷入了绝望的黑暗深渊 And then, I took the teeniest tumble into a deep, dark pit of despair.
你们看 Look.
(罗芮塔德金) (演员)
我没看过那么大的IG I have never seen Instagram that big.
原来罗芮塔在用IG 我该追踪她 I didn't know Loretta was on there. I should follow her.
她的页面充满了迷人 阳光的好莱坞风情 Her feed is a cornucopia of charming, sunny Hollywood content.
但注意这个入侵者 But notice this intruder.
(罗芮塔#德金 47个赞) (好棒的一天 )
- 是一条手臂 - 对 男人的手臂 - It's an arm. - Yeah, a male arm!
紧实 有线条的手臂 A taut, rippling arm!
我不相信它没有企图 And I don't trust its intentions!
它在她14张照片里出现11次 It's in 11 of her last 14 pictures here. I mean,
它... i-it...
她有纪录的时间里 就有78%跟这个神秘 帅气的草包在一起 She is spending 78% of her documented time with this mystery himbo,
我根本查不出他是谁 and there's no way I can find out who he is.
- 你可以问她啊 - 问她 - You could ask her. - Ask her?
把她推向这条强壮 支持她的手臂 And drive her into this strong, supportive arm?
不行 那会让我直达绿帽城 当地人口是帕南 No, that's a one-way ticket to Cuck City, Putnam!
查尔斯 赛丝也追踪了罗芮塔 Hey, Charles. Sazz was one of Loretta's followers.
赛丝有用IG Sazz was on Instagram?
对 她死掉那天 在名叫脑震荡的地方发过照片 Yeah. She posted from this place called Concussions the day she died.
脑震荡是什么地方 What's Concussions?
脑震荡 Concussions.
是特技演员的酒吧 It's a stuntman bar.
「这间位于纽约的酒吧 专为那些代你最爱的名人 "This New York institution caters to the lunatics who take a beating,
受苦受难的人服务 so your favorite celebs don't have to.
自《1964年民权法案》起对外开放」 Open to the public since the Civil Rights Act of 1964."
我们应该去那里 也许有人知道 Well, we should go there. Maybe somebody'll know
赛丝为什么在打听西塔的事 why Sazz was asking questions about the West Tower.
他们每周四都有机智问答 Oh, they have trivia on Thursday!
天啊 把亮度降低 Jesus, turn your brightness down!
我好像直视了日蚀一样 I feel like I just looked right into an eclipse.
亮度 降低 Oh, right... Brightness, down!
平板 亮度降低 T-Tablet, brightness down!
降低 亮度 Down, brightness!
苏西 亮度降低 Susie, brightness down!
《破案三人行》 第四季第四集
本WEB版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 双语合并
(纽约警局)
(第四季 第四集) (特技演员)
哈尔德 谢谢你来看着公寓和猪 Howard, thanks for watching the apartment. And the pig.
我们依偎起来就像查尔斯国王和卡蜜拉 We cuddled like King Charles and Camilla.
这张床到底是怎么回事 What is up with this bed anyway?
是伊娃朗格利亚转送的 It was a regift from Eva Longoria.
她说她不需要两张 She said she didn't need two.
上来吧 Well, climb in.
趁现在讨论我的线上电台 We can use this time to work on my podcast.
《动物的工作》 Animal Jobs?
关于工作动物的线上电台啊 You know, the podcast about animals and their jobs.
欢迎收听《动物的工作》 关于工作动物的线上电台 Welcome to Animal Jobs, the podcast about animals and their jobs.
我请到亨利 中央公园的克来兹代马 I'm here with Henry, the Central Park Clydesdale.
你不会相信它爆的料 You won't believe what else he has to say.
我的音效超好 I have incredible audio.
只要跟你学 怎么编辑 配乐 混音和发布就好 All I need from you is to learn how to edit, score, mix, and post it.
抱歉 我现在没时间教线上电台基础课 I'm sorry, I don't have time to teach Podcasting 101 right now.
什么意思 你在占屋 不能离开 What do you mean? You're squatting and can't leave.
我们是创意的狱友 You're trapped with me. In a fun way.
有人不能离开 I-- Someone can't leave.
我需要有人待在这里 以免杜登奥夫来赶我走 I need someone here in case Dudenoff shows up and kicks me out.
我...抱歉 我得去调查一个线索 I-- Sorry, I have to follow a lead.
你总是忙着查案子 It's always about the case with you.
你根本不在乎《动物的工作》 It's like you don't care about Animal Jobs at all.
不是的 只是那两个家伙需要我 No! No, no, no, it's just those guys need me,
而你是很自动自发的人 and you... are... such a self-starter.
不 我不是 No, I'm not.
我是讨厌独处的悲伤男孩 I'm a sad boy who hates being alone.
你看看我 Look at me.
我跟一只猪同床 I'm in bed with a pig.
你待在这里是对的 我保证 You're right where you're supposed to be. I promise.
拜托你等到我回来再离开 Just please don't leave until I come back.
拜托 谢谢你 谢谢你照顾猪 Please? Thank you. Thank you for the pig.
再见 腿米 Bye, Hammy.
再见 Bye.
去酒吧之前 我要警告你们 Now, before we get to this bar, a word of warning.
特技演员不像我们 他们可能会很孤僻 内向 Stuntmen are not like us. They can be insular and provincial.
你去过地狱厨房吗 Have you ever been to Hell's Kitchen?
有 我在奥利佛家吃过饭 Yeah, I've eaten at Oliver's.
我个人很喜欢出门看看真正的纽约 I, for one, love getting out and seeing the real New York.
「最简朴的小屋住着最快乐的人」 "The humblest hovels house the happiest hearts."
洛妮会这么说 As Ronnie would say.
- 什么 - 洛妮是谁 - What? - Who's Ronnie?
洛妮是薇洛妮卡的简称 Oh, Ronnie's short for Veronica,
伊利诺州乔利埃特的霸气奶奶 the feisty grandma from Joliet, Illinois,
她喜欢做手工 梅洛红酒 还有正向思考的力量 who loves crafting, Merlot, and the power of positive thinking.
她是我的假帐 She's my Finsta.
什么是「假帐」 What's a Finsta?
不会吧 Oh, no.
假的IG帐号 A fake Instagram account.
我异想天开地用有趣 友善的化身 I'm whimsically surveilling my girlfriend to see if I should be worried
假装是我女朋友的头号影迷 以便监视她 看看我是否该担心 by using a fun, friendly avatar, posing as her number-one fan.
罗芮塔已经回应洛妮的两则留言了 Loretta has already responded to two of Ronnie's comments.
这是酝酿中的灾难 请你集中注意力 This is a disaster in the making. Please refocus.
你说得对 You're right.
我把注意力放在哪里 能量就流向哪里 "Where my attention goes, energy flows."
真像洛妮的风格 That's so Ronnie.
我不说了 Dropping it.
(脑震荡) (「特技演员酒吧」)
(不畏拳脚 火焰 让「门面」威风之人的聚会场所)
「简谱的小屋」说对了 Humblest hovels is right.
我要为线索板做些侦察 I'm doing recon for the murder board.
你要关掉快门的声音吗 Uh, do you maybe wanna turn off the shutter sound?
还有闪光灯 And the flash?
还有深褐色滤镜 要我把它拿走吗 And the sepia filter? Do you need me to take that from you?
先问问酒吧老板吧 Let's talk to the barkeep first.
他不只守着酒吧 也守着它的秘密 He's not only the keeper of the bar, but also its secrets.
好 我跟你去 我很懂素人的语言 Yeah, I'll join you. I'm fluent in "everyman."
老兄 Hey, bro.
我想我要来点... Yeah, I think I'll just have, uh,
我要一杯卡本内 最好是2011年的 uh, I'll have a cabernet.
只要是法国的都好 Uh, 2011, if you have it. Anything French, whatever.
那我要一杯柯梦波丹 And I will have a Cosmopolitan.
别调得太粉红 Not too pink.
最好用靴子装 Ideally in a boot.
你们到底来做什么 What are you really here for?
我们想问问有关赛丝帕塔基的问题 We were hoping we could ask a few questions about Sazz Pataki.
我不跟你们谈 I'm not talking to you.
也许我朋友林肯先生会让你改变主意 Well, maybe my friend Mr. Lincoln will change your mind.
也就是 Mister...
亚伯拉罕林肯先生 ...Abraham Lincoln.
好 也许这会锦上添花 Uh, well, maybe this... will grease the wheels.
除了五块 再加这张 That's in addition to the five.
想想你能完成多少刺青 Think of all the tattoos you can finish with that.
也许这会让你开金口 Well, maybe this will unzip your lips.
你能找钱吗 我给你20块 你找我15块 Can you break this? I give you the 20, you give me back 15,
你拿五块 加上刚才的六块 总共11块 take the five, add it to the six, for a total of 11.
拜托你把钱收下 了结这件事 Please just take his money so this can stop.
他们在找麻烦吗 These guys giving you trouble?
冷静点 各位 Take it easy, everybody.
我是查尔斯海登萨维奇 I'm Charles-Haden Savage.
赛丝帕塔基是我的特技替身 Sazz Pataki was my stunt double.
在这里不是 你才是赛丝的演戏替身 Not here. In here, you're Sazz's acting double.
你只是门面 You're just a face.
我们不喜欢门面 We don't like faces.
知道我们对门面的看法吗 You know what we say about faces?
说穿了 你们都是讨厌鬼 Deep down, you're all asses.
等等 我跟其他门面不一样 Hold on. I'm not like other faces.
赛丝是我的朋友 Sazz was my friend.
我们正努力解开她的谋杀案 - We're trying to solve her murder. - Right.
对 为了你们的线上电台 For your podcast.
你们在消费她的死 You're profiting off her death.
同时 真正爱她的人 Meanwhile, the people who really loved her can't even give her
甚至不能帮她举行 特技演员应得的传统丧礼 the traditional stuntman's funeral she deserves!
什么 为什么 What? Why not?
没有尸体 就没有丧礼 No body, no funeral.
滚出去
给我过来 过来
班葛兰罗伊 Ben Glenroy?
班死了 傻子 Ben's dead, ya eejit.
他已经死透了 He's gone forever.
他会很想来这里 但已经不可能了 Oh, he'd love to be here, but there's no possible way.
人死不能复生 对吧 Youse can't come back from the dead, now, can ya?
我是葛兰史塔宾 班的特技替身 I'm Glen Stubbins, Ben's stunt double.
对 你们确实很像 Oh yeah, I can see it.
都过去了 因为你们这些文蛋杀了他 Or I was, till you feckers rubbed him out.
哪些文蛋 我们这些文蛋 Who feckers? Us feckers?
你们这些盖死的文蛋把他夺走 All yas feckin' feckers took him from me!
有没有...能给我 You got a... for your man.
干杯 Cheers.
15年来 我为那个好家伙上天下海 For 15 years, I took every lump and fall for that doll of a man.
结果有人说服他 他应该在舞台上证明自己 Then, someone got in his ear about making his mark on the stage!
一个月后 砰 One month later, boom!
当天晚上没过多久 又砰一次 Then later, that... same night, boom again!
我最重要的人死了 My number one was gone.
你有看到它们吗 Hey, do you see 'em? Eh.
快踩啊 Just, just stamp!
用炯炯有神的小眼睛偷看我 Peeping at me with their beady little eyes!
好了 史塔宾 Come on, Stubbins.
我说最后一次 葛兰 这间酒吧没有老鼠 For the last time, Glen, there's no rats in this bar.
这里最好没有老鼠 那是什么 Oh, curse your eyes, there's no rats. What do you call that?
它在哪里 出来 在哪里 Where is it? Come on! Hey! Where'd it go?
给我出去 死吧 臭老鼠
好耶
你们没看到吗 说什么没老鼠 这是什么 Don't you see 'em? There's no rats. What do you call this?
这是什么 What do you call that?!
这是... What do you--
有看到它们吗 Do-Do you see 'em?
大伙 那是赛丝最后一张照片的紫光 Guys, that's the purple light from Sazz's last selfie.
我得进去后面那个房间 I have to get in that back room.
你们在这待得够久了 门面 出去 You've been here long enough. Faces, out.
别担心 兄弟 我会搞定他们 Don't worry, boyos. I'll finish 'em off.
该让他们认识波诺 Time to introduce 'em to Bono...
还有艾吉了 and The Edge.
- 不用了 - 谢谢你
刚才还真顺利 That went well!
- 等等 - 不要 Wait, wait!
首先 没事
抱歉 Sorry.
查尔斯 我道歉 我刚才无意激怒你 Charles, a-apologies. I didn't mean to rile ya up back there.
你用半个U2合唱团威胁我 You threatened me with half of U2!
我只是做做样子而已 Yeah, I was just keeping up appearances, weren't I?
听着 查哥 我拜托你 Look, Chuck, I'm begging ya.
能让我参演你们的电影吗 Can you help me get a job on your film?
你没了特技替身 我没了演戏替身 You lost your stunt double. I lost my acting double.
- 我们可以互补 - 我不需要替身 - We could make each other whole again. - I don't need a double.
连会这些动作的也不需要 Not even one that can do this?
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
或是这招 Or this?
不要 Uh...
- 好 - 天啊 Oh God...
很厉害 但如果你想当他的替身 Impressive, but if you wanna double for Charles,
你只要逼真地走进开门式浴缸就行了 all you really need to do is believably walk into an easy-entrance bathtub.
你们看我飞出窗户 Watch me throw myself through the window.
- 不要 - 停 - No, no, no! - Stop!
我们会在他们 We, we will get you a job
- 帮我们拍的电影里帮你找工作 - 对 - on the movie they're making about us. - Yes. Yes.
谢天谢地 Thank the Virgin.
我的脸不用被割得血肉模糊 My face would've been slashed to ribbons.
条件是你告诉我们 后面那个房间有什么 Only... if you tell us what's going on in that back room.
我们知道赛丝在她死掉那天去过那里 We know that Sazz was there the day she died.
她八成是去看玛姬医师 Well, she was probably seeing Dr. Maggie.
玛姬医师是谁 Who's Dr. Maggie?
玛姬医师 Dr. Maggie.
没有言词能描述她是什么人 Oh, well, it's not really words that can describe what she is.
对 奇迹创造者 某种驱魔师 Yeah, miracle worker. Exorcist of sorts.
她能赶走用痛楚 荼毒我们这些特技人的魔鬼 She helps... uh, release the pain demons that plague us stunt folk
只靠扳骨头就能做到 just by simply cracking our bones.
所以她是整脊师 S-So, she's a chiropractor.
原来有个词啊 There is a word.
赛丝常常和玛姬医师一起扳骨头 Well, Sazz was always with Dr. Maggie getting cracked.
你能带我们进去吗 Can you get us back there?
等等 赛丝身体很疼痛 What? Wait. Sazz was in pain?
各种疼痛 都是因为你 Loads of pain, thanks to you.
当然 她从来不说 Of course, she never would've let on.
特技人就是这样 It's the stuntman way.
我可以独自回到店里吗 Is it okay if I-I go back there alone?
当然可以 你还好吗 Oh, uh, s-sure. Are you alright?
我很好 我只是觉得 如果那里有要面对的事 Totally. I just think if there's something to be faced back there,
应该由我这个赛丝的门面来面对 I, Sazz's face, should be the one to face it.
你知道洛妮会说什么 Well, you know what Ronnie would say.
「如果你不面对恐惧 恐惧就会吃掉你的脸」 "If you don't face your fears, your fears will eat your face."
抱歉 算不上是洛妮的代表作 Sorry. Not Ronnie's finest work.
好吧 来...我带你进去 Well. Well, come h-- I-I'll take you back.
记得小心老鼠 Oh, and, um, mind the rats.
我们亚柯尼亚见 I'll see you back at the Arconia.
我们请到腿米费耶 We're here with Hammy Faye.
腿米费耶 多数的猪确实都是松露猎人 Now, Hammy Faye, it's true that most pigs can hunt for truffles,
但受过训练的猪真的 but is it also true that, if trained properly,
也能当高尔夫球童吗 they can also be golf caddies?
有人吗 Hello?
杜登奥夫 是你吗 Dudenoff, is that you?
「你有成为明星的本事吗 」 "Do you have what it takes to be a star?"
我觉得有 Well, I think so.
「《谋杀疑云》新片的公开试镜 "Open auditions for the new Only Murders movie.
无经验可」 No experience necessary."
腿米 Oh, Hammy.
我们不能离开 绝不能背叛梅宝 We can't leave. We could never betray Mabel.
不能为了渺茫的登上大银幕的机会 Not for just... some long-shot chance at a part on the silver screen.
绝对不能 Never.
我是哈尔德莫里斯 提姆柯诺... I'm Howard Morris. Tim Kono c--
我重来一次 I'm gonna start again.
我是哈尔德莫里斯 I'm Howard Morris.
提姆柯诺常常抱怨艾薇琳的事 Tim Kono complained a lot about Evelyn.
他说它害他气喘发作 He said she gave him asthma attacks.
他威胁要朝它开枪 He threatened to shoot her.
艾薇琳或许有九条命 但我把他那条命缩短了 Evelyn may have had nine lives, but I cut his one short.
谢谢 Thank you.
现在是怎么回事 What is happening right now?
- 什么 - 说真的 你在做什么 - What? - Seriously? What are you doing?
我也想知道 That's what I was wondering.
我在演戏 这... Well, I'm acting. The, um...
我在演哈尔德的角色 I'm acting the part of Howard?
我好像在爱达荷州的博伊西喝死藤水 I feel like I'm doing Ayahuasca in Boise, Idaho.
你让我想吐 You make me wanna vomit.
我相信崔娜和陶妮想说的是 What I believe Trina and Tawny are saying is that...
我们很爱你 we... love you?
那就好 我等不及要演自己了 Oh, good! Oh, I can't wait to play myself.
你不会演你 Oh, you're not playing you.
乔许盖德会演你 Josh Gad's playing you.
等等 我没得到角色 Wait, so I didn't get the part?
我相信崔娜和陶妮想说的是 What I believe Trina and Tawny
很不幸地 你没得到角色 are saying is, unfortunately, no, you did not.
当然没有 但你很棒 Of course not, but you're amazing.
我们会培养你 And we're gonna nurture you.
- 我也觉得 - 对
我们下周同一时间见 好 See you next week. The same time. Okay.
玛姬医师 这位先生想见你 Eh, Dr. Maggie? Your, uh, man here wants to see ya.
你有空档吗 Can you fit him in?
我不想整脊 我只想问几个问题 Oh, I don't want an adjustment. I just wanna ask a few questions.
- 好 - 别管我 - Okay. - Well, eh, don't mind me.
我会躲在老鼠隔板上 I'll be hiding on the rat-baffler.
我头下脚上时 它们就认不得我 They can't recognize me when I'm upside down.
我想问问赛丝帕塔基的事 I wanna ask about Sazz Pataki.
我知道她死掉那天来过这里 I know she was here the day she died,
而且你完全可以谈她的事 and there's nothing stopping you from talking about her.
你不是真的医师 不受HIPAA法案保护 You're not protected by HIPAA laws because you're not a real doctor.
那她怎么会叫「医师」 Then how'd she get a "Dr." before her name?
那个称号不是谁都有 They don't just give those away.
脊骨神经医学是伪科学 我无意冒犯 Chiropractics is a pseudoscience, no offense.
抱歉 看到这么紧绷的身体让我很难受 I'm sorry. It physically hurts me to see a body this tense.
你得过闭锁症候群吗 Have you ever had locked-in syndrome?
这是你原本的手臂吗 Is this your original arm?
要谈可以 但你先躺上工作台 We can talk, but not until you get on my table.
我说过我不相信... I told you, I don't believe in--
呼吸就好 Just breathe!
杜登奥夫到底在哪里 Where the hell is Dudenoff?
那些邪教牌手一定已经告诉他 我在他家占屋了 Those cult card players must have told him I'm squatting in his place by now.
- 天啊 有突破了 - 什么 - Oh, my God! It's a breakthrough! - What?
洛妮跟罗芮塔成了朋友 因为她们都热爱拼贴艺术 Ronnie's bonded with Loretta about their shared love of decoupage,
而她即将问那条神秘手臂的事 and she's about to ask about the mystery arm.
好 感情中的信任不是这样建立的 Okay, this is not how you build trust in a relationship.
「手臂」有什么可爱的说法 What's a cute word for "arm"?
臂弯 拥抱帮手 鸡胸 Man branch? Hug helper? Chesticle?
- 你是怎么了 - 我怎么了 - What has gotten into you? - Into me?!
我担心谁把罗芮塔怎么了 I'm worried about who's getting into Loretta!
奥利佛 Oliver!
好啦 好 Alright. Okay.
我在洛杉矶差点向罗芮塔求婚 You know, I almost proposed to Loretta in LA.
对 我知道 话到了嘴边 Yeah, I know. I was right there,
结果我没说 and then I didn't.
为什么 Why not?
一次失败的婚姻 谁没碰过 Eh, one failed marriage, who hasn't been there?
两次失败的婚姻 Two failed marriages?
人们会开始问问题 People start asking questions.
你为什么认定会失败 Why do you assume it would fail?
因为她正过着女明星的华丽生活 Because she's living the glamorous life of a starlet
到处都有手臂想勾搭她 with arms coming at her from every direction.
因为...我总是失败 Because... I always fail.
能把iPad还我了吗 C-Can I have my iPad back, please?
好 但洛妮这件事不会有好下场 Fine, but no good can come of this Ronnie thing.
梅宝 我有话要说 Mabel, I have something I need to say.
你显然没时间支持我的创作 You clearly don't have time to support my creative efforts,
所以我要退出这个单方面付出的关系 so I am exiting our one-sided relationship.
我想这是你的 I believe this belongs to you.
它喜欢被人搔腋下 She likes when you scratch under her armpits.
它做出这个特别表情就是想大... And she makes this special little face when she has to poopy that--
我没办法把它交给你 You know what? I can't trust you with her.
等等 哈尔德 你在这里的话 谁在看着杜登奥夫的公寓 Wait, Howard! If you're here, who's watching the Dudenoff apartment?
来吧 你尽管问 Go ahead. Ask your questions.
我知道赛丝死掉那天来过这里 Uh, I know Sazz was here the day she died.
她说了哪些事情 What did she-- Talk about?!
大多是疼痛的事 还有她多兴奋她终于要退休了 Mostly about her pain. And how excited she was to finally retire.
等等 赛丝说她要退休了 Oh, wait. Sazz said she was retiring!
转向新的事业 Transitioning into a new career.
她没说是什么 She didn't say what,
但原因跟一段棘手的关系有关 but it had something to do with a difficult relationship she was in.
她受够付出总是比得到的多了 She was tired of giving more than she got from this person.
但她不知道要怎么离开 But she didn't know how to get away.
这个问题可能很唐突 但她提过「乐园」吗 This may sound random, but... did she ever mention "paradise"?
我印象中没有 Not that I remember.
我必须警告你 I have to warn you.
这么僵硬的背一旦松开 可能会释放出很多感受 When a back as frozen as yours unlocks, it can release a lot of feelings.
有些人形容那是灵魂出窍 Some people describe it as an out-of-body experience.
我不担心 I'm not worried.
我唯一一次觉得灵魂出窍 是我在芝加哥艺术学院 The only out-of-body experience I ever had is when I saw Edward Hopper's Nighthawks
看到爱德华霍普的《夜莺》... at the Chicago Art--
赛丝 Sazz?
赛丝 Sazz!
等等我 Wait up!
你是想远离我吗 Are you trying to get away from me?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
只是刮伤而已 Ah, it's just a scratch.
我说过要溜进乐园 I told ya, I'm trying to get to paradise.
你要来吗 You coming?
天啊 Wow.
你昏倒了一下 你还好吗 You were out for a minute there. Are you alright?
身体方面很好 Physically, yes.
情绪方面不太好 Emotionally, no.
赛丝说的糟糕的关系 That bad relationship Sazz said she was in...
恐怕是指我 ...I'm afraid it was with me.
你能治心痛吗 玛姬 - What have you got for heartache, Mags? - Well,
人际关系的烦恼会积在骨盆 所以... relationship worries are stored in the pelvic floor, so--
不行 No. No.
我们就说治疗很成功吧 We'll-- We'll c-- We'll call this a hit right here,
所以 谢谢你 但... so you did it. Thank you, but mm-mm.
好 Yeah.
你们在这里做什么 What are you doing here?
我们也能问你同样的问题 We could ask the same thing of you.
我只要两分钟就能让这里挤满警察 I could have this place swarming with cops in two minutes.
不行 别再有警察了 No, no, no, no no. No more cops.
那你们能说明这是哪种邪教吗 Then, can you just tell me what kind of cult you are?
你们崇拜什么 性爱 撒旦 维生素 What are we talking, sex, Satan, or vitamins?
我们不是邪教 We're not a cult.
是吗 你们都在无线电上交谈 过集体生活 玩诡异的纸牌游戏 Oh, really? You all talk on ham radios, live communally, play a weird card game,
还吃浴缸里的猪肉 and eat... bathtub pork.
你这么一说 我能理解 When you say it like that, I can track it.
好 那到底是怎么回事 Okay, so then what's going on?
好 我要打给威廉斯警探 That's it. I'm calling Detective Williams.
好吧 Fine.
我会告诉你 I'll tell you.
不要 文斯 别说 No, Vince! Don't!
如果我们让她加入呢 Hey. What if we cut her in?
她确实需要地方住 She does need a place to live.
她可以有自己的公寓 Oh, so she can have her own apartment?
- 对 她是成年人 - 我成年了 - Yes. She's an adult. - I'm an adult.
有点样子啊 Let's act like it.
让我加入什么 Cut me into what?
我要说的事可以毁掉很多人的生活 What I'm about to tell you could ruin many lives.
这项资讯绝对不能外流 The information must never leave this room.
好 但我一定会告诉查尔斯和奥利佛 Okay, but I'm definitely telling Charles and Oliver.
我知道 Get 'em.
什么 What...
这些是什么 租约 What are these? Leases?
我们在非法分租有租金管制的公寓 We're illegally subletting rent-controlled apartments.
我们不是邪教 这是租金管制的骗局 We're not a cult. It's a rent-control scheme.
但我确实建议过大家买同一款浴袍 Although I have suggested getting matching bathrobes in the past.
这层楼的每间公寓 在多年前被杜登奥夫教授租下 Every apartment on this floor was rented by Professor Dudenoff years ago.
我们陆陆续续认识杜登奥夫教授 We all met Professor Dudenoff at one point or another.
也都需要便宜的住处 We all needed a cheap place to live.
他知道我们是...那个词叫什么 He saw that we were... What's the word?
- 怪咖 - 我想的是比较委婉的词 - Weirdos? - I was looking for something softer,
但没错 怪咖 but yeah. Weirdos.
自有一套生活哲学的人 It can be hard to survive in this city
在这座城市可能会很难生存 when you march to the beat of your own drum.
你会需要能挺你的人 You need somebody to have your back.
杜登奥夫教授就是挺我们的人 Professor Dudenoff was that for us.
杜登奥夫教授退休后搬到葡萄牙 但他每个月还是在照顾我们 Professor Dudenoff retired to Portugal, but he still takes care of us every month.
他会寄他最爱的火腿过来 而我们会寄租金给他 He sends us his favorite jamón, and we send him rent.
他在葡萄牙吃香喝辣 He lives like a king in Portugal,
我们也能以低价住在亚柯尼亚大楼 and we get to live in the Arconia for peanuts.
低价是多少 How much is peanuts?
两百 200.
美元 一个月 Dollars? A month?!
你也可以只付这点钱 That's what you could be paying, too.
只要你别在线上电台提这件事 If you keep this out of the podcast.
等等 无线电上的声音说... Wait. The voice on the ham radio said--
- 那是赫嘉 我前女友 - 你的疯狂前女友 - That was Helga, my ex-girlfriend. - Your crazy ex-girlfriend.
你值得更好的人 You deserve so much better.
好 她只是有点精神失常 Okay, she's just very slightly unhinged,
但她来自芬兰 那里又冷又暗 but she's from Finland, you know? It's cold and dark there.
他们花很多时间想些有的没的 They spend a lot of time inside their own heads.
她说赛丝是因为打听你们的事才被杀 She said Sazz got killed for asking about you guys.
被杀 因为打听我们的事 Killed? For asking about us?
我根本没见过赛丝 I've never even met Sazz!
赫嘉有些问题要处理 轻微的妄想症 Helga's working through some issues. A little paranoia.
很可怜 我封锁她的电话了 我有拿给你们看 It's sad. I blocked her on my cell. I showed you guys,
但她一直在无线电上找我 but she keeps trying to reach me on the ham.
所以赫嘉是个疯子 So, Helga's just... nuts?
听着 我们只是一个怪咖家族 Look, we're just a family of weirdos here.
赫嘉是那种不好的怪咖 Helga was the wrong kind of weirdo.
但你... But, you...
你有可能是好的怪咖 You could be the right kind of weirdo.
你怎么说 What do you say?
好 你是说 西塔仔会玩名叫「叫鬼牌」的游戏 Okay, so you're telling me the Westies play a game called "Oh Hell,"
却不是撒旦邪教 and somehow they're not a Satanist cult?
显然不是 Apparently not.
他们的故事疯狂到让我相信了 I mean, their story is so crazy, I kinda believe it.
而且一个月两百块 我没本钱不信 And at $200 a month, I can't afford not to.
我对哈尔德很过意不去 I feel bad about Howard.
他今天很需要他的杜登奥夫 我却没做到 He needed a Dudenoff today, and I dropped the ball.
我会拿下一轮 Take one trick.
他会想通的 He'll come back around.
不像我的罗芮塔 Unlike my Loretta.
- 我预计两轮 - 但她还活着 - I'll take two. - At least she's still alive.
赛丝为我牺牲了一切 等到我发现 Sazz sacrificed everything for me,
已经来不及补偿她了 and by the time I realized it, it was too late to make it up to her.
我预计零轮 I'll take none.
也许洛妮应该问罗芮塔... Maybe Ronnie should ask Loretta--
好 我们还在说洛妮 Okay, R-Ronnie is still with us?
奥利佛 我知道你这么做 是因为你怕失去罗芮塔 Oliver, I know you're doing this because you're afraid to lose Loretta,
但要是被她发现 你一定会失去她 but if she finds out, you are gonna lose her.
好啦 我会让洛妮消失 Okay, fine. I'll put Ronnie down.
不行 我办不到 梅宝 你来杀她 No, I can't. I can't do it. Mabel, you kill her.
好 洛妮有遗言要说吗 Alright. Well, does Ronnie have any last words?
我们要说「掰掰」 "We say bye-bye...
因为一个「掰」绝对不够 because one bye is never enough."
好 很好的悼词 Okay, nice eulogy.
(移除帐号)
丧礼结束 Funeral over.
丧礼 Funeral.
也许我还能为赛丝做一件事 Maybe there is something I can still do for Sazz.
你们需要尸体 You need a body?
我来当尸体 I'm your body.
当门面学会感激替身所做的牺牲 When a face learns to appreciate their double's sacrifices,
就能建立特殊的关系 it can make for a special bond.
终生受用的关系 One that lasts a lifetime
甚至更久远 or even beyond.
好了 你确定你受得了 Alright now, you sure you can handle this?
赛丝代我上阵那么多次 Sazz stood in for me so many times.
我至少能为她躺下来 The least I can do is lie down for her.
好吧 禽兽们 过来听好 Alright, animals, gather around! Listen up.
我们在此向伟大的赛丝帕塔基致敬 We are here to pay tribute to the great Sazz Pataki.
- 敬赛丝 - 赛丝 Sazz!
这位先驱走得太早 First among us gone too soon.
她现在安详地躺在我们面前 She lies before us now in state.
我们将以传统的 特技演员玛格丽塔开始仪式 We'll begin the service with the traditional stuntman's margarita.
预备 拿好 干杯 - Ready. Steady. Sláinte. - Sláinte!
谁想告诉赛丝 她有多么重要 Who wants to tell Sazz how much she meant to 'em?
来排队吧 Line up.
我有易碎道具 I got the breakaways.
好家伙 Good man.
赛丝 Aw, Sazz.
当我驾着简陋的滑翔翼撞上帆船 When I clipped that sailboat in that gnarly hang-gliding wreck,
是你陪我去接假胫骨 you came with me to get my prosthetic shins.
我爱你 I love you, man!
躺好 死人 Lie still, dead man.
下一位 Next!
赛丝 Sazz.
你教我在拍爆炸戏前 把防火裤放进冷冻库 You taught me to put my fireproof jockstrap in the freezer before a blow-up.
害我那根变小 Shrunk my dick.
却也让我的蛋蛋没被烤熟 You saved me from burning my balls off.
谢了 伙伴 Thanks, pal.
好 我最爱的赛丝的故事 Right. Well, my favorite Sazz story.
我们一群人 被《无厘取闹4》聘为特技顾问 Bunch of us lads got hired as stunt consultants on Jackass Forever.
就是雷克斯贝利那个王八蛋 This was the one where that shite fucker Rex Bailey got his heel blown off
教强尼诺克斯维尔怎么被射出大炮 teaching Johnny Knoxville how to get fired out of a cannon.
结果被炸断脚跟那部 Anyways,
总之 史提夫欧 Steve-O...
一直叫我「棉花糖麦片男孩」 kept calling me Lucky Charms Boy.
神奇的美味 Magically delicious!
粉红色爱心 黄色月亮 绿色四叶草 橘色星星 蓝色钻石 Pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, orange stars,
盒子里每种盖死的棉花糖 blue diamonds, every feckin' marshmallow in the box!
而赛丝 老天保佑她 And Sazz, bless her...
对他使出十字固定 直到... she put him in an arm bar until...
直到他尿裤子为止 until he pissed this trousers.
亲爱的赛丝 少了你 我们都完蛋了 Oh, Sazz, love, we're fucked if we know how to stagger on without ya.
那是真酒瓶吗 混蛋 Was that a real bottle, you asshole?
你设计他 烂人 You set them up, you prick!
你说我是雷克斯贝利 Are you calling me a Rex Bailey?
盖死的混蛋 Ye feckin' cock!
这就是赛丝想要的 Just like Sazz would've wanted.
(《侦探布拉奏斯》)
赛丝 Hey, Sazz.
你还好吗 你刚才挨的那一下蛮重的 You okay? That last hit you took looked pretty rough.
小意思 Ah, piece of cake.
但有一天我会没办法再那样挨打 But someday, I won't be able to take the hits anymore,
你知道我会做什么吗 and then, you know what I'm gonna do?
我要开一间弹跳床乐园 就像我跟我爸去过的那种 I'ma open up a trampoline park like the ones I used to go to with my dad.
让小孩子学习怎么高飞 还有怎么落下 Where a kid can learn how to fly and how to fall.
培训下一代的特技人 Train the next generation of stunt people.
赛丝帕塔基硬碰学院 The Sazz Pataki Impact Academy.
何不建在这里 Why not build it here?
场景管理说这块土地要卖 Location manager said this lot's for sale.
或在超级基金清理后就会卖 Or it will be after the Superfund cleanup.
是啊 Ah, yeah.
也许吧 Maybe.
这件事别说出去 好吗 Uh, and let's keep this under our hat, huh?
其他特技演员会笑的 The other stunt guys would laugh at this.
但我信得过你 你是我最重要的人 But I can trust you. You're my number one.
这是为了赛丝
就是这里 赛丝的乐园 This is it. Sazz's Paradise.
是有毒废弃物堆放场吗 Is this a toxic waste dump?
以前是 政府把它清干净了 It was. Government cleaned it up.
(未来的) (赛丝帕塔基硬碰学院)
(纽泽西乐园区)
这本来是她的梦想 This was her dream.
她差一点就能实现 She came so close.
等等 Wait.
你们听到了吗 Did you hear that?
里面有人吗 Is somebody in there?
小心 Careful.
这是什么地方 藏身处吗 What is this place, a hideout?
有点阴森 Kinda spooky.
这真的会榨干我的电池 This is really gonna drain my battery.
看到插座就跟我说 Let me know if you see an outlet.
谢天谢地 是娱乐圈的人 Thank God, someone from show business.
别动 否则我打爆你们的脑袋 Don't move or I'll blow your fucking brains out.
天啊
字幕翻译:宋梅君