[MURMURING]
Write slip twice. Put money in the bag.
Joe?
Gina.
Lucas, what are you doing in here?
My life has reached its pinnacle.
Joe's letting me close the store tonight.
- You're kidding. - I am not.
Big responsibility, Lucas.
Yes. But Joe's rules are extremely simple:
Count money twice...
...keep my hands off of his beer...
...cigars...
...and drumsticks.
My, my, how will you remember it all?
Good luck. Don't screw it up.
A responsibility like this requires the obedience of a saint.
"Music Town franchise option agreement"?
They've gotta be kidding.
In the immortal words of The Doors:
"The time to hesitate is through."
[COINS TINKLING]
Hey.
MAN 1: No more bets.
Twenty-two.
MAN 1 : Twenty-two black.
WOMAN: Who was that guy?
MAN 1: Craps! End of roll! New roller!
Place your bets, please, ladies and gentlemen. Get your bets down.
We have a high roller.
$9,104. I counted it. Twice.
I like your style.
Well, Joe told me to count it twice.
No more bets, please, ladies and gentlemen. Put your bets down. Put your bets down.
So do I just throw it and get a seven?
- That would be very good, sir. - Feeling lucky?
I'm guided by a force much greater than luck.
Seven! A winner!
- Baby, you are sex. - I know.
MAN 1: Same lucky shooter.
Get your bets down, please. Hot shooter on the line.
You know what? Let it ride.
CROWD: Oh.
Hot dice coming out.
That's an $18,000 bet. Sure you know what you're doing, kid?
I know this: That if I win this roll...
...I will save the place that I work from being sold...
...and the jobs of my friends that work there.
Thus striking a blow at all that is evil...
...and making this world a better place to live in.
- Huh? MAN 2: What?
And I'll buy you guys a drink.
Hey, party. Okay.
MAN 1: No more bets, please. Get your bets down.
Joe...
...this one's for you.
- Two. Craps. End of roll. ALL: Oh.
You know something? You used to be cute.
And you used to have $9,000.
I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this.
A.J.: Lucas? Hey, Lucas.
Lucas. Hey, Lucas.
What the hell are you doing here, man?
Something happened to me last night in Atlantic City.
Oh, you went to Atlantic City?
Wow. Did you win anything?
No, I did not win.
So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you...
...I tell you now that it was.
Shit, man, what happened?
What happened?
I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do.
Lucas, how much?
How much?
Shit. Okay.
MARK: What do you mean by "shit," man? What's up, huh?
Well, Lucas doesn't have any money, and Joe let him close the store last night.
Yeah? So?
Heh, heh. Oh. Heh.
I guess he didn't live up to the responsibility of the position. Heh.
No, not the full responsibility.
- Oh, yeah. - Uh-oh. Shut up.
Hey, what's up, Joe?
Hey, Joe. Heh.
What's up with the boss threads, man?
- Frigging Rex Manning Day. MARK: Mm, what's up with the hostility, Joe?
A.J. [SINGING]: Say no more, mon amour
Lips are for kissing, baby Je t'adore
Mwah. Heh.
Mark.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Phone. MARK: Oh, phone, right.
Empire Records, open till midnight. This is Mark.
Yeah. Hey, it's the bank.
[PHONE RINGS]
Yeah, it's Joe.
- Are you sure? - Empire.
- It should be. - Sorry. Uh, heh.
Empire Records, this is Mark.
I don't know. I'll have to check.
-It's the boss. - Give me a sec, please.
Yeah, Mitch. Mitch, Mitch, will you stop yelling, please?
What is wrong, Joe?
Joe, what is it?
Argh. Lucas? No way. Come on.
- Aw-- -Here he comes.
Damn it, Lucas!
What's the matter, Joe?
- Surprise! GINA: What? What is it?
Happy Rex Manning Day.
When did you have time to make these?
Dad says there are 24 usable hours in every day. Thank you.
You absolutely amaze me. You are a nerd.
That's me. Heh, heh.
GINA: All right, 30... COREY: So?
-80? - So.
So today...
-...I will offer myself to Rex Manning. - All right!
- Yes! - I love you.
No, like this.
Get your tongue off my record.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Do you think Rex is the right guy for my first time?
Oh.
I think he's perfect for you, Corey.
- Hey, Joe. - Yeah.
I need to ask your advice.
You know a lot about love and women...
...and that sort of thing. - Oh, yeah.
My wife left me for another woman, and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint.
- Does this qualify me? - Oh, yeah, definitely.
Look, Joe, I've decided that today is the day that I'm gonna tell Corey how I feel about her.
JOE: Uh-huh.
No, I know what you're thinking, but I really am.
I mean, I've been working here off and on for five years, man.
So I've gotta tell her how I feel, you know? I gotta tell her that I...
Well, you know, that I...
- Love her. - Yeah.
Now, how do I do that?
You say, "I love you."
What do you want, written instructions?
- If I find that kid, I swear I'm gonna kill him. - Okay.
- I'll tell her this morning. - Good.
- By noon. Definitely. - Great.
- No, by noon or 1. - Uh-huh.
By 1:37 exactly, Joe.
- Well, good luck. - Well, thank you.
BOTH [SINGING]: Don't be sad, girl Just be glad, girl
You're not a bad girl
Oh, God, remember the first time he sang it on The Family Way.
- Yeah. - I got so excited I almost choked on a pretzel.
- Don't go in there. - Happy Rex Manning Day!
I got something to tell you. Both of you. It's really crazy news.
Come on, Lucas, pick up the phone. Pick it up.
Come on, buckethead!
Hi, Joe.
- Does Joe know? - Nope, so just act normal.
- Hi, Joe. A.J.: What's up, Joe?
GINA: What's new, Joe? COREY: How you doing?
- Damn! GINA: Okay.
A.J.: Lucky green. Come on.
Let's see who goes first. I got a brown!
Anybody got brown'?
- Brown. - No.
Orange.
- Oh, shit. GINA: Oh, no.
[CHUCKLES]
[QUEEN SARAH SATURDAYS' "SEEMS" PLAYING]
Nothing left to sing about this time It's over now
The word is out It hit the polls
Claimed a place among the rest Of today's new things
And last night's shows
The have-you-heards and the did-you-knows
But I've got my place Will you be still
And try to keep from buying?
But it seems I never get enough of me
Seems I never get enough of me
[MUSIC STOPS]
MARK: Hey.
- What you doing, man? - Exercising my veto, man.
It's only 9:00. You sure you want to do that?
Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
MARK: Maybe I want to be sterile.
Corey, what are you doing here?
Calculus. I hate it, but my dad says I've gotta get an A.
No, I mean, you know you're not on until this afternoon, right?
Heh. Joe, it's Rex Manning Day.
Rex Manning Day.
Oh, Rexy, you're so sexy.
[SINGING] You call me on my car phone With that je ne sais quoi
You say you need a little Of my ooh-la-la
I know you get lonely In your canopy bed
But say no more, baby I'll be running every red
Say no more, mon amour
Here's how you do it.
I'll bring my loving right to your front door
Here I come, baby Je t'adore
Lips are for kissing, baby 80 say no more
JOE: Could you please not sing, Mark?
You know what, Joe?
One of these days, I'm gonna show you little people.
Well, on that day, I'll jump out of my wheelchair and do a dance.
So how about today, huh?
Rex Manning Day. Uh-oh.
- Mark. MARK: Lucas.
JOE: Lucas. - Joe.
- Where's the money? - Joe, the money is gone.
Yeah, I know it's gone.
- Where's it gone to? - Atlantic City.
- Yeah.
Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
Heh. Uh, I don't think so, Joe.
What's it doing in Atlantic City?
Recirculating.
[CLANGING AND TINKLING]
Are you pissed off, Joe?
- Lucas.Lucas. - Joe.Joe.
Lucas, listen to me.
I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money.
I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City.
I swear.
Shut up.
Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
- It could be in other cities by now. - Oh, shut up!
Under no circumstance do I want you to leave that couch.
Unless it's to get me $9000.
And then you bring it here to me, okay?
Joe, I think it's gonna be okay.
What makes you think that?
Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
Mm-hm.
What a moron.
MAN: Are you Corey Mason? - For me?
- Mm-hm. - Oh, wow, thank you.
- Mm-hm. Later. - Yeah, bye. Thank you.
"To the number one in her class. Harvard, 1999.
Make me proud. Love, Daddy." That's sweet.
God, nothing's ever enough for him, huh?
Oh, no, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. No, I'm sure he didn't.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Hi. How are you today?
All right.
[MARK LAUGHING]
Mm...
[KISSING NOISES]
[MOANS THEN CHUCKLES]
COREY: Hi, Debra.
- She hates me. - Yeah, she hates me too.
But I have enough sense to hate her back.
LUCAS: Good morning, Deb. A.J.: Hi, Deb.
[DOOR OPENS]
Lucas, are you in trouble?
Did you need the money?
If you are in trouble, you can talk to me. You know that.
Joe, we're all in some kind of trouble. Am I the only one who sees it?
You know, Deb's in trouble.
- And A.J.'s in trouble. - A.J.'s not in trouble.
LUCAS: And Corey is in trouble. - Corey's not in trouble, she's going to Harvard.
LUCAS: Mark's in trouble. Eddie's in trouble-- JOE: Hey, I'm the one who's in trouble here.
Every minute that goes by and I don't call the cops...
...I look like a bigger banana head.
Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana head.
You screwed me, Lucas. You know that, right?
What do you want me to do?
- Call Mitchell? Tell him I lied? - It seems like a viable option.
I swear to God, if you are fooling with me, I will kill you.
Hmm.
- A.J., I need another closer. - Joe, I opened, man.
Come on, look, I wouldn't ask...
...but I have got no choice.
I can close.
Heh. Yeah, I can close. It's cool.
They just raised my rent, so I could use the money.
Well, damn the man.
Oh, God, I am in hell!
[SHAVER WHIRRING]
Do you think it's possible for someone to be in love with someone else and not even know it?
In this life, there are nothing but possibilities.
Well, that's good.
Because I have to tell Corey that I love her by 1:37.
That's an excellent time.
[A.J. CHUCKLES]
Wow.
You did have hair when you went in there, right?
Yeah, it's still in the sink if you wanna glue it.
Hey, Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?
Not entirely perfect.
You see that, man?
Hey, Debra, wait a minute. What's with you today?
- Bad hair day. - No, I mean with this.
What is this, huh? What happened?
I went to rock 'n' roll heaven and I wasn't on the guest list.
Now, please, move. I've gotta go to work.
No. Now you tell me what is going on.
I decided I'd rather kill myself than meet Rex Manning. Now excuse me, I'm going.
Listen to me. This isn't funny. I'm not joking.
I won't let you go until you tell me what's going on.
- Mind your own business. - She's fine.
She's amazing.
DEB: Thank you.
A.J., she's in the store.
She's gonna be okay.
What's with you?
Yesterday you were normal, and today you're like the Chinese guy from The Karate Kid.
What's with you today?
What's with "today" today?
I don't know.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
COREY: Oh. wow.
GINA: Mm...
[CASH REGISTER WHIRRING]
Why'd you do that?
I'm just your typical nutty teenager in America.
Oh, before you guys hear all about it...
That's supposed to be a joke, right?
No, you're the joke.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Well, Sinead O'Rebellion...
...shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.
That is so clever. I swear to God, you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
You get smarter the shorter your hair gets.
- So probably a good thing you went with that. - Yeah.
-It's a wonderful look for you, darling. - Thank you.
[CASH REGISTER BEEPS THEN WHIRRING]
[SUICIDAL TENDENCIES' "I SHOT THE DEVIL" PLAYING]
[GRUNTING]
[ALL GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
Joe.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Yeah, I want to report a robbery.
No, I will not hold--
[YELLING AND GRUNTING]
Excuse me. Ow.
[ALARM BLARES THEN MUSIC STOPS]
- Veto! - Hey, hey, hey.
What's up with that, Gina? Huh?
You know it's too early. It makes the customers all crazy-like.
That's the whole point.
- Eddie! - What's up, dude?
I heard your music playing when I got in.
- That's pretty scary stuff. - It was moshy.
And I'm glad to say that I made you a tape last night for educational purposes.
Well, here's the deal. You start off with a little classical music, a little Puppy.
And then you got some Shags on there, and Residents...
-...and a little Floyd, Zeppelin. - Floyd is very cool.
Yeah, dude. Another very cool thing is, I made you these.
Now, they're my special recipe, and you know what that means.
Lots of sugar.
Now, Mark, you gotta understand something here.
This music is the glue of the world, Mark.
It holds it all together. Without this...
...life would be meaningless.
Dude, have you heard about Lucas?
[MARK SCREAMING AND EDDIE LAUGHING]
Hey, Lucas, man.
I heard you, like, went to Vegas and, like, married a mobster's wife...
...and now you've got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?
Not entirely true.
Oh. Well, Outlaw Man, we salute you.
- Thank you, Eddie. - No problem.
GINA [OVER PA]: This song goes out to our employee of the week, Lucas.
Oh, a little tribute, man.
[THE FLYING LIZARDS' "MONEY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees I want money
That's what I want
GINA [OVER PA]: Lucas wants money!
That's what I want
GINA: Lots of money!
Joe's money!
Your love gives me such a thrill
Oops. It's Joe.
But your love won't pay my bills I want money
That's what I want
COREY: What the hell's this, Joe?
"Rules and standards for Music Town employee conduct"?
Put these in the boxes.
- Music Town? We're not a Music Town. - No, we're not a Music Town...
...yet. MARK: Isn't Music Town a chain, Joe?
"No gum chewing will be allowed inside the store"?
- They're turning us into a Music Town? - Why didn't you tell us?
- Because I was trying to stop it. - What do you mean?
I got together enough money to make Mitch an offer. He was gonna make me a partner.
- I could've bought him out eventually. - You'd buy Empire?
- Well, that's a good thing, right? Heh. - Wow, that'd be fantastic.
Do you think it's gonna happen now?
I have to pay for what Mr. Brilliant here did.
- It's over, kids, okay? - Mitchell is the man, Joe.
Yeah, and "the man" calls all the shots.
Damn the man.
Let me explain it to you.
Mitchell's the man, I'm the idiot...
...you're the screw-up, and we're all losers.
Welcome to Music Town.
[DOOR SLAMS]
"No visible tattoos."
"No revealing clothing."
We're both screwed.
At least you're used to it.
No, Debra, don't be bitter.
Certainly with your ever-growing collection of flesh-mutilating silver appendages...
...and your brand-new neo-Nazi boot camp makeover...
-...the boys will come running. - Let's not fight, let's just rip.
But we mustn't dwell.
No, not today.
We can't!
[CHUCKLING]
Not on Rex Manning Day.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INAUDIBLE SINGING]
Joe, is it okay if I leave the couch? I'm gonna leave the couch now, okay?
My ass has fallen asleep, so I gotta go. I'm leaving.
[CHUCKLES]
- I guess you didn't leave the couch. - Not the whole couch.
Oh. I've decided I'm gonna start a band.
- Really? - Yeah.
First thing you need is a name.
Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I know, I know.
I was kind of thinking about "Marc."
What do you think of that?
Is that with a C or with a K?
Well, my name is with...
...a K. Heh.
So I was thinking maybe my band could be with a C...
...so that way it's like that psychedelic trip thing.
Always play with their minds.
- Nice selection. - What?
- Help you with anything? - No, I'm all right, thanks.
- You like music? - Yeah.
Mm, me too.
- The fat man walks alone. - What?
What's up?
What are you, some kind of weirdo?
It's a big coat you're wearing. Lots of pocket room.
Yeah.
See you.
I'm sure I'll bump into you.
Hey, watch it!
Shoplifter!
WOMAN: Hey!
Isn't it customary to leave the scene after committing the crime?
Definitely an amateur.
Attention, Rex Manning fans, to your left...
...you will notice a shoplifter being chased by the night manager, Lucas.
This young man will be caught...
...deep-fried in a vat of hot oil, and served to our first 100 customers.
[GINA LAUGHS]
Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.
WARREN: Oh!
Shit.
He cut it too short.
JANE: No, it's fine. Really, it's fabulous.
- Oh, God. - What?
Look at this place.
Come on, Rex, there is no gig too small, all right?
Middle America buys your records. Now come on. We got a lot of fans waiting in there.
Yeah, this is Joe Reaves, from the Empire Record store.
We have a shoplifter in custody.
Uh-huh.
How old are you?
Old enough to kick your butt through your skull...
-...and splatter your brains on the wall. - He's a juvenile.
- No. JOE: Thanks.
What's your name?
Warren Beatty.
Okay, Warren, stand up.
Hold these against your chest. They'll take a photograph of you.
- Why don't you go shove them up your ass? - Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.
- Take him over there. - Okay.
And they said no revealing clothing, didn't they?
I think Music Town is actually torn on the revealing garment issue.
I think so.
- Revealing clothing. JOE: Gina.
[QUICKSAND'S "THORN IN MY SIDE" PLAYING OVER STEREO]
JOE: Gina.
[SCATTING]
- Gina. Gina. GINA: Ha-ha-ha.
Ha!
GINA: Yes.
Gina, would you please get dressed?
- No. JOE: Corey, turn that down.
A.J., up on the roof. Fix the sign. Lucas, take the photograph.
- Music Town. I can handle Music Town. JANE: Hello?
[MUSIC STOPS]
Oh.
Welcome to Music Town. May I service you?
[LAUGHS]
Gina, get dressed. Corey, work.
- You must be Joe Reaves. - Yeah, I'm Joe. You must be Jane.
- Me, Joe. You, Jane. - Shut up, Warren.
- Heh. This is Rex Manning. -It's a pleasure to meet you.
- We all love the new album. - Good for you.
What's he doing here?
Let me introduce you to everybody. This is Gina. This is Corey.
Lucas, A.J...
-...and, uh, Warren. - Hi.
I'm Rex. Great to be here.
I have all your albums.
That's terrific, Corey. Thank you.
Hey, Rex, what happened to your hair?
[WARREN SNICKERS]
Well, the stylist, if you can call him that, got a little carried away. No biggie.
Looks good.
- See? He likes it. - I like it.
Great. Let's go to work.
Higher.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
That was fabulous, Warren. Thank you.
MARK: Women.
REX: I still don't like my hair. JANE: Just try to smile, all right?
REX: I don't like the chair.
- What do you mean? - I don't like the chair.
What's wrong with the chair? Just sit in the chair.
I don't want to sit in it.
- Are you just gonna stand there? - Excuse me.
Mr. Manning, this is a very nice chair.
- Thank you, Joseph. - Thank you.
- Pen. WOMAN: Hi.
- Hi, what's your name? - Kathy.
- K-A-T-H-Y. - Okay.
- I've seen every episode of The Family Way. - Oh, yeah?
And you were my favorite singer in high school.
Who's your favorite singer now?
You! It's still you!
Bye.
There're so many babes out there.
Gotta get Rex some water, because Rex is very, very thirsty.
Make sure it's bottled water.
- Mark. - Yeah.
LUCAS: Who's your favorite singer?
Axl.
Well, if Axl Rose was driving down the highway...
...and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road...
...you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Does Axl have a jack?
No way, man! Axl would spin the wheel, take aim, pound on the gas...
...and take that sucker out!
[WARREN SCREECHES]
Warren, Warren! Where do you get this hostility from?
[GRUNTING]
Who glued these quarters down?
- I did. - What the hell for, man?
I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.
Warren.
Look what you took.
Rap...
...metal...
__raP--'
...metal...
...Whitney Houston.
- It's for my girlfriend, okay? - Sure it is.
You know, someone like you needs to diminish...
...their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Maybe you bite me.
Do any of you, uh, like Rex Manning's new record?
[LAUGHING]
JANE: What?
Dance Party, U. S.A. teenybopper type of shit, right?
Actually, it tested well amongst teenage males.
Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans...
...to the incidence of homosexuality amongst teenage males?
[LAUGHS]
JANE: No.
Hi, who should I make it out to?
- Denise. - Denise. Denise.
- I've always loved that name. - Thank you, but it's nof mine. It's my mom's.
She loves you. I've never even heard of you.
Okay. Does your mother still have her own teeth?
Forget it.
- Cool hair. - Ah.
[SINGING] Say no more, mon amour
Say no more
- Berko. - Lucas. Heard a story about you.
Really? Which one?
Where you stole $9,000...
...went to Atlantic City...
...and there's a contract out on you.
Hey, has anyone seen Debra today?
A.J.: Yeah, we saw her.
She shaved her head...
...and she has a bandage on her wrist.
- Really? A.J.: Really.
Who are you?
I'm Jane.
Oh.
I work for Rex Manning.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHING]
You think that's funny, huh?
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
If you'll excuse me...
JOE: You're quitting? You can't quit.
Ah, it's not them. It's Rex.
You know, I don't even like his music.
Come on, Jane. You gotta stay.
I need a change of scenery.
Honey, come on, you can't do it to--
[JOE GRUNTS]
I can't believe it. She quit!
[JUKEBOX CLICKING]
[AC/DC'S "IF YOU WANT BLOOD (YOU'VE GOT IT)" PLAYING OVER JUKEBOX]
[DRUMMING]
[FEEDBACK ON SPEAKERS]
[LUCAS LIP-SYNCING]
There ought to be a law
Criminal
There ought to be a whole lot more
WARREN: Yeah!
We got what you want
And you got the lust
If you want blood
[SINGING] You got it
If you want blood
You got it
Blood on the streets
Blood on the rocks
[WARREN SCREAMING]
Every last drop You want blood
You got it
[WOMAN SOBBING]
GINA [SINGING]: If you want blood
[COREY LAUGHING]
BOTH: You got it
Excuse me, ladies. Less shimmy, more selling. Thank you.
GINA [OVER PA]: Guess who's here.
[MUSIC STOPS]
How are you? Mitchell Beck. I own this place.
Good to meet you. You have a nice store.
Ah, nice of you to say. I tell you, though, you should have seen it originally.
Beck's Bath and Bidet.
Bathroom fixture emporium. My grandfather started it.
It was my beatnik father who turned it into a record store.
I tell you, if I was selling toilets today, I'd be a rich man.
Joe. What's with you? You're sweating like a pig.
-It's nice to see you too, Mitch. - Yeah.
Joe, come on, is this the way we treat Mr. Manning?
- Where's the fresh fruit? Champagne? - Not necessary.
No, no, please.
- He's a big star. - Big, huge star. Big, big.
- Let's get him something. Okay. - Sure.
MITCH: Joe, I'm going by the bank.
Why don't you give me last night's deposit? I wanna make sure it gets there this time.
- It's Okay, I'll take care of it. - No, you're a busy man, let me.
JOE: I said, I'll handle it.
Okay?
Mitch, Mitch.
Mitch, have you met Warren?
- Who are you? - Lucas. I work here.
Have you met Warren?
I wanted to talk to you about Warren.
Young Warren came into the store today...
...and put on a little demonstration for all the store employees.
Very motivational. It was inspiring, actually.
And, gosh, he made quite an impression on everybody.
I'm intrigued. I'm spellbound.
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? Thank you.
BERKO: Like your hair.
- Are you okay? - Why do you care?
- You didn't care last night. - Yes, I did.
Look, this isn't about you, okay?
I got home last night and I thought about everything that had happened...
...and everything that had happened the night before that...
...and the week before that and the year before that.
The only thing that was different was something else was making me feel shitty.
I'm trying to say I'm sorry.
I just said, this wasn't about you.
Look, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm screwed up, okay?
We're all screwed up.
Don't touch me right now.
I just want you to get up, and I want you to walk away.
A.J.: Corey, ahem, I've gotta tell you something.
It's about how I feel about you.
I...-
I really, really, really...
Oh, God.
You know that feeling when you get out of a hot bath?
You just feel really refreshed and nice.
You make me feel like-- You make me feel like a bath?
You're like vanilla ice cream. French vanilla ice cream, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
Unh.
[MARK CHUCKLES]
[MARK CHUCKLING]
This is bullshit, man!
The long arm of the law has embraced our dear friend Warren.
- I'm Joe Reaves, manager. Everything okay? - Such bullshit, man.
- We've got it under control. - Joe, tell them.
JOE: You need a statement? - No, got one from Mr. Lucas.
WARREN: Oh, Mr. Lucas over there. He took $9,000!
WOMAN 1: Hey, that's enough.
- I just took a couple of CDs. - That's enough. That is enough. Come on.
- Lucas, I thought you were my friend. - Take care. Don't let the man get you down.
- Don't want to see you back in the store. - Bye.
I'm gonna get you! I'm not playing this time!
I'll be back and you'll be sorry!
- You're gonna pay for this! - Whoo.
"You'll be sorry!"
I'm already sorry.
- Hi. DEB: Hey.
I'm just doing the quarterly income tax returns.
I'm almost done.
Look, Deb, um...
...if you need to talk about anything...
Gonna fix me, Joe?
Okay, fix me. I'll listen.
I didn't mean that. Ahem.
I mean, should I call your mother or something, or...?
Great. If you find her, could you give me her number?
Because I'd like to talk to her myself.
I know you didn't mean anything.
You're doing a good job, Deb.
I feel a lot better.
Joe,dean
Best boss in the world.
Can I bring Rex his lunch?
Berko's taking him his lunch.
Joe, Berko's gonna insult him right to his face. I don't think that's such a good idea.
Look, I don't care if Berko sticks an M-8O up his butt and lights it.
In fact I hope he sticks one up mine. Might be an improvement.
Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.
Berko is.
Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.
Berko is.
[YELLING] I'm bringing Rex his lunch!
All right.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Thanks, Joe.
Thanks a lot.
[THROWING MUSES' "SNAKEFACE" PLAYING OVER STEREO]
Not another drive-in movie
You know you can't be still
Mm, move me
Snake, snake
One more button undone
Next week I'll be a lousy liar
[DOOR OPENS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Ooh.
Guava food groups, Corey.
- Goodbye, Mark. - What? Hey, hey, whoa.
Well, this looks very elegant.
Yeah.
Boy, talking to all those women can make you work up an appetite.
COREY: Hmm.
I'll bet it does.
I think I got everything. I'm all set. Thank you.
So am I.
REX: Well...
[CLANGING]
You know, I can't help but notice you sitting there staring at me.
I was just thinking how I used to imagine marrying you...
...when you were on The Family Way.
Marrying me?
You must've been a baby back then.
I'm not a baby now.
You're a sweet girl.
I'm not as sweet as you think.
How old are you?
Old enough.
Sure you want to do this?
Yeah, definitely.
Rock 'n' roll.
COREY: Oh, my God.
[SNIFFLES THEN SIGHS]
Why?
- Corey. - What are you doing here?
I'm fixing the sign. What are you doing here?
Taking a break.
It's so weird that you just came up here. I really have to tell you something.
- Not now, please. - No, it has to be now. No, it has to be now.
Listen, you remember that really horrible day when Mark set off the store alarm...
...and Gina got dumped by that Dennis guy and cried all day...
...and I drew the picture of him and Lucas made the voodoo doll...
-...and you wore that skirt that I hate? - What skirt?
- That one with the flowers. - The blue skirt?
- Yeah, the blue one. - Argh.
- You hate--? - Yeah, I hate that skirt.
It's good that I hate that skirt, Corey, because that-- Listen.
Listen to me. That skirt made me realize that if I can...
If I can love her in that skirt, then this must really be it.
Corey, I love you.
What?
I mean, I'm in love with you.
I mean, I've been in love with you.
Wow, please, not now. Please, A.J.
Please, don't do this right now. I'm sorry, but I can't handle this right now.
Are you telling me you could handle it some other time?
- Is that it? - Look”.
...I just threw myself at Rex Manning, okay?
I made a total fool of myself. And I really don't--
- You what? - Yes, and I'm not ready for this, okay?
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry, I just want to be alone, okay?
Yeah, okay.
[COREY WHIMPERING]
Just forget I said anything, all right?
Just forget-- I didn't say anything. Nothing happened.
Forget about Rex.
- We'll get you another guy. - I don't want another guy.
I'm not like you. I don't need another guy. Why do you always try and make me like you?
What do you mean, like me?
I'm not like you with guys. I don't need to do what you do all the time.
Oh, okay, I see.
Not like me, the turbo slut. Is that what you mean?
What are you saying, that I gotta go do every guy I see?
You certainly seem to enjoy it.
Ha!
Well, what did you do, huh, Corey?
Did you go over there and act all perfect and better than everybody?
- Think guys like you for that? - They may not like it...
...but at least they don't do it with me and go off and laugh.
Miss Self-Righteous.
EDDIE: There you are. Hey, is Rex Manning in yet?
If he is, you gotta show him my eight-track. It's so great. It's The Family Way.
- It's in the vinyl section right underneath-- - Eddie, please.
Hey, what'd I do?
Hey.
You forgot your thingy!
I don't know, it's just something I've always been able to do.
- I can tell you what color and what kind. - Mm.
All right. What am I wearing now?
Jockeys.
Navy blue.
- Am I right? - I don't know.
Why don't you check it out and you let me know?
Now the $64,000 question.
Hi.
That's really nice.
Don't.
Don't what?
Pretend like nothing happened.
Just don't.
A.J., when you told me that before...
...I just freaked because...
...I don't think about you like that.
I mean, you're my best friend.
I think we have something better than that.
Better.
That's bullshit.
You know it's bullshit.
One for Miss Teen America.
It's okay. I didn't spit on it.
"Dishonesty"?
What's that supposed to mean?
- And one for the man with the band. - Ooh.
[CHUCKLING]
"Marc sucks." Yeah.
Hey, A.J., I made you a button. "Stupid."
Debra, you're just in time.
- What? - Please.
It's a surprise.
DEB: Uh-uh. Veto, veto, veto! I'm not listening to it.
- No, we're dancing to it! - I'm not. No, no, no.
I am not gonna dance to Rex Manning. I'm not dancing.
Why not? I am Rex Manning. I'm so sexy.
- No. You're stupid. - No, I'm sexy.
Get off!
[REX MANNING'S "SAY NO MORE (MON AMOUR)" PLAYING]
[SINGING] No more, mon amour
[CHUCKLES]
[MARK SHRIEKS]
[GINA LAUGHS]
GINA: Wait.
Say no more
- Huh. - Aah!
[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
You all having fun?
I hope so.
[MUSIC STOPS]
Don't let me stop you. Keep dancing!
But you better do it now...
...because by next week this is gonna be a Music Town.
And I don't think that they allow dancing in Music Town.
What are we supposed to do instead, Joe?
What am I gonna do with this guy, huh?
What should I do?
Turn him in to the police? Send him to jail?
Who do you think that he's gonna come to when he wants bail? Who?
Me, right?
Me.
What should I do?
Put in my own 9 grand?
And then I'm screwed.
Don't worry, Joe. You're a superb manager.
Really?
LUCAS: Superb.
Keep it up, Lucas.
Superb.
Say it again.
Superb.
- You shit! That's it! LUCAS: That's my shoulder.
Ow. Ow.
JOE: Get in there, pinhead! LUCAS: Joe...
Joe-- Joe!
No, no, don't!
[LUCAS GROANING THEN BANGING]
LUCAS: Don't do it. Don't do it. Joe.
[LUCAS GROANS]
[CYMBALS CRASHING]
[SIGHS]
JOE: You deserved that. You know it, right? - I know it.
Where's Rex?
Got a better question for you, Joe. Where's Gina?
[COPIER WHIRRING AND GINA GIGGLING]
A.J.: I'll look upstairs.
- I'll check the bathroom. - I'll check the storage room.
I'll check the sofa.
Hey, how's it going, man? Joe, I'm sorry I'm late.
I brought some pizza, just in case anyone got hungry.
So, what's up, man?
Why you guys looking so glum?
Where's sexy Rexy?
It's kind of funny that you put it that way.
What?
Joe, I'm not feeling so good. Can I count out now?
Why is the door locked?
Where's Gina?
Where's Rex?
[CLATTERING]
[SIGHS]
What, no applause?
Shit.
- Get off! - I'm going to kill you!
COREY: A.J., stop, he's not worth it. JOE: A.J.
Come on, A.J.
REX: Wise up, junior.
Take your purse and get the hell out of my store.
- Where's Jane? - She quit, pal.
- What? - And I was lying about your hair.
It looks stupid.
And we all hate your new album.
BERKO: Not to mention the ones before that.
You're just a washed-up impostor, man.
Why don't you all just fade away?
JOE: Okay.
How could you, man? With Rex Manning?
I hate you.
Gina, you better go home.
Am I fired?
Have I fired anyone today? No. Why would I start with you?
So is this how your life is gonna be now? You just gonna screw every has-been...
...until your tits fall down and they don't want you anymore?
Well, at least I don't hide what I am. Right, Corey?
At least I'm not some closet speed freak, right?
What, you think I don't see what you do? You think I don't see?
- Shut up! - I know what you do!
What's this? Oh.
What's this? What are these, huh?
What are these? Aspirins? Vitamins? Breath mints?
- Diet pills? COREY: Shh.
Diet pills! Oh.
What a surprise.
- Stop it! - You know what?
I could study all night if I was chowing down speed too. You know that I could.
Here's one for your perfect little face!
- And your perfect body! - Shut up!
- Your perfect family and your perfect school! COREY: Stop it!
- And your perfect, perfect future! - Gina, stop it! Stop it.
- I'm stopping! - Come on, stop.
Come on, come on.
- I'm stopping! - Go home. Go home.
It's always about her.
JOE: It's gonna be fine. Really.
[SCREAMING] No, it's not gonna be fine!
Nothing's ever fine, Joe! I'll show you fine!
I'll show you perfect!
I hate you!
I hate everything!
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY AND COREY SCREAMING]
DEB: Come on, up, up.
Better?
Okay, come on. Let's dry you off.
So, I guess nobody really has it all together.
No.
I feel like I should welcome you to the neighborhood or something.
Anyway, did you really wanna do Rex Manning in the count-out room?
Is that how you always imagined your first time would be?
Your back up against the daily totals and your feet...
...pounding against the safe?
"Oh, Rexy, stop that!
You're so sexy!"
Why are you being so nice to me?
Let's save our Hallmark moment.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
[GWAR'S "SADDAM A GO-GO" PLAYING OVER TV]
Gwa r!
Hey!
Hey, Mark!
[DANIEL JOHNSTON'S "ROCK 'N' ROLL/EGA" PLAYING OVER TV]
You love Gwar. Why don't you join the band?
[MARK YELLING]
That rock 'n' roll
It saved my soul
Oh, man.
Mark, man, you play a mean guitar, man.
It's really a shame that you must die!
[GROWLING]
Wait! Hey, come on!
[MARK SCREAMING]
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLING]
Wow. Heh.
I love you, Eddie.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Do you need a new night manager?
What are you doing later?
I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell, I can't decide which.
Well, wherever you're going, would you like to have dinner with me first?
You bet.
Hey, A.J.
Can I ask you something?
Do you know where Harvard is?
It's near Boston.
No, I mean, do you really know where Harvard is?
It's another planet, man.
Another universe, totally unlike the one we know.
Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats.
What I'm trying to say is, you and Corey are just not made for each other.
She's different than you. She's...
Death is in the cards.
"Rest in peace, Deb."
A funeral.
Is Debra not with us anymore?
COREY: If Deb wants to die, let's show her what a real funeral would be like.
COREY: We're gathered here today to pay our last respects to Debra.
She left us and never said why.
But I'm really gonna miss her...
...and I wish that I could have known her a little bit better.
Dog shit.
Hey, dead people don't talk.
- Heh. - Berko, would you like to say something?
Deb, I just...
I just want you to stay.
- That's all. COREY: A.J., do you have something to say?
Well, is it better to know, or not to know?
- Mm. - You see, I want to go to art school...
...but I'm afraid.
Jesus, I hate this funeral.
There you are.
[PHONE RINGS]
Empire Records, open till midnight. This is Mark.
Midnight!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh.
Help me, help me, help me.
Oh, God. Um...
- I'll take care of it, boss. - Okay.
I really miss Gina.
That's really special, but, um, weren't we supposed to be talking about me?
I know. I just can't stop thinking about her.
She's not afraid of life...
...and she's not afraid to be herself.
And I wish that I could be like that.
I wish that I could be brave like Gina.
You are brave.
You're getting out of here.
You're always talking about how I do what I wanna do, but I don't.
I don't.
Because I want to sing in a band...
...but, um, I don't have the guts to even audition.
And I know that if I don't do something, I'm gonna end up like my mother.
Her life ended after high school.
You're never gonna be like your mother if you don't wanna be like your mother.
You're gonna be fine.
That is so sweet, I think I'm gonna barf. Excuse me.
COREY: Get down here.
Hey, Mark.
Um, ahem.
I used to pee in my bed.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
I did, I wet my bed until I was 10.
My mother turned me over to the county...
...when I was 10. Uh, tsk--
Not for being a bed wetter, but for being a bad seed, you know.
Anyway, three years went by...
...and then Joe came.
And he, uh, took me out and I became...
...the well-adjusted person that I am today.
Look.
I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic.
A pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip.
And it took me forever just to get through my skin.
I don't know, I was just really tired of being invisible.
We love you, Debra.
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Warren, get out of the store.
[CHUCKLES]
You can't tell me what to do, A.J.
- What are you doing with a gun? - What do you think I'm doing?
[GUNSHOT]
- What the hell was that? - Christ! Holy shit, man!
Why don't you let these people go? What do you say? Huh?
Good try, A.J. Good try. You trying to fool me, man?
I'm not that dumb!
- They'll call the cops! - Nobody will call the cops.
- Warren's shooting up the place. - A.J.
A.J.'s fine. Everybody stand back, okay? Jane, call 911.
WARREN: I'm crazy and I've got a gun.
Joe. Hey, Joe, did you see that, man?
Did you see that? Wasn't that brilliant? Yeah!
Didn't you love that?
You told me not to come back.
- Well, here I am. - Give me the gun, Warren.
I'll give you the gun.
Deb, what are you doing?
I wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
Yeah? Have a little chat with my gun.
What do you want, Warren?
Stop calling me Warren! My name isn't fucking Warren!
- His name isn't Warren. - His name isn't Warren?
DEB: You can't kill me, Warren. I'm already dead.
Thought his name was Warren.
And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, what's up?"
And, uh, she wants you to lose the gun.
You're psycho.
You are psycho.
What the hell is wrong with you people?
You all belong in a loony bin. Every one of you.
Forget you guys. I don't need you.
You think you're so happy and you're so goddamn great...
...because you work in a freaking record store. You think you're so superior.
Hey, Joe.
Lucas steals 9 grand from you and you don't do dick to him?
So you gonna give me a job now?
BERKO: So that's it, Warren?
You want to work at a record store?
No.
I think you're lying, Warren.
- He's not gonna give me a job, man. - How do you know?
Why should he? Why should anyone give me a job?
LUCAS: He gave me a job.
[SIREN WAILING]
So do I get the job?
MAN: Considering the fact that he's a minor and he put blanks in the gun...
-...there's not a lot they can do to him. - Well, thanks a lot, officers.
Take care, Warren. Stay out of trouble.
- Take care, man. - Wait a minute.
A.J.: Oh...
- I made this for you. - Cool, man.
-"Warren. I work here." - Wait, wait.
Can you keep it here for me? When I get back...
- Sure. - Thanks, man.
LUCAS: Hey, Warren.
Take care of yourself. Don't let the man get you down.
Yeah, you too, Lucas.
- Bye, Gina. BERKO: Yeah, don't drop the soap.
[MARK CHUCKLES]
I gotta call Mitchell.
That's 1900 bucks.
- I sold my Vespa across the street. - No.
JANE: Here's $600 left over from the Rex Manning expense account.
Cool.
Here's about 30 bucks from Debra's buttons.
I have some money in my bag.
BERKO: Here's a couple bucks.
And some Bazooka Joe for karma.
Here's $23 from A.J.'s expense account.
Maybe you can hawk this, I don't know.
DEB: Six-fifty... Fifty...
That's...
-$3,050. - Yeah.
- We need... - Six more.
It's not about money, okay? Um--
I hate money.
Um...
Look, I thought I knew what I was doing, but I didn't, okay?
I give UP-
Call Mitchell.
- I think we can work something out. - No, now's the time. Just call him.
Whoa. Whoa.
Wait a second.
Give me a couple seconds. Heh.
Oh, yeah!
MAN: And so the perpetrator...
...will be taken to Juvenile Hall and charged with assault...
...with a deadly weapon, and possibly even kidnapping.
I saw the whole thing go down. I work here.
Hey, man, check it out! Mark's on TV!
Joining us is an eyewitness to the scene.
An employee of the store who saw it all. Tell us what happened.
This guy kind of wigged out, but that's besides the point.
We're having a get-together here tonight.
- There'll be free admission, live music, chicks. -No, no, no.
MARK: The full nine yards, man. It's gonna be heavy shit. Here at midnight.
We're live on the air right now, sir.
- A party'? MARK: Anybody can come!
Here at midnight! Party on, man!
Damn the man! Save the Empire!
No, no, no, give me that.
We've gotta make some money.
Whoa. Okay.
Got it.
You gotta invest in this when you're young. A record is like life. It goes around and around.
- You want for this? - How much?
Eighty bucks.
[GRUNTING]
Five dollars a beer.
Have your money ready, all right?
There you go.
Oh, thank you.
You gotta buy something before you go in.
So, you want to buy some vinyl or something?
MITCH: Joe!
What is going on here?
Why do I get the feeling that I am being royally screwed, Joe?
Because you are, Mitch.
There was no money in the bag. One of my employees needed it.
Who took it?
Who took my money?
LUCAS: Mitch, this is some party. It's a hell of a turnout.
- Who are you? - I'm Lucas. I still work here.
- How could I forget? We're discussing-- - I wanted to talk to you...
...about this Music Town thing.
Next week, you'll be the proud owner of one of the many Music Towns across this land.
- Correct? - Yes.
You like this because Music Town jacks up prices.
- So you make more money. - Smart boy.
Now, when Music Town comes in, Joe is out.
A.J. is out.
And all the beautiful little tattooed gum-chewing freaks are out as well.
And, uh, it pretty much goes without saying that I'm out.
I wish it had gone without saying, but you don't seem to shut up.
What I think Lucas is trying to say is that...
...I'm gonna open my own store.
You don't have the start-up capital.
- Yes, he does. - No, I don't.
But I will.
I will get it.
Mitch...
...I quit.
- You knew, didn't you? - About what?
Everything.
About me, what I wanted to do.
I knew you weren't happy.
[BAND PLAYING AND CROWD CHEERING]
[SINGING] They all said Life's just a bowl of cherries, but
- Hi! MAN 1: Hey, how you doing?
Hi!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I feel so funny, deep inside
I wanna kiss myself goodbye
Sugar high
Gotta have it Really need it to get by
Yeah!
Gotta feel it, can't conceal it Sugar high
Yeah!
And not even leave the house
A TV set and a bottle of wine's just fine
Crashing out on that old pull-out couch
Watching Saturday Night Live I guess that's why
Thank you for coming. Bye-bye. Thank you. Move along.
These are on sale with a coupon, right?
[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]
Doesn't anybody work in this store?
I do.
When I think about my life
I wanna kiss myself goodbye
A.J.!
All right
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Please, leave! Leave the merchandise, take your cup, get out!
There must be somebody outside you need to bug or something! Now!
Here's all your money. Count it.
Look,Joe.
I hate this place. You love it.
Let me sell it to you.
Cheap.
Thanks, you won't regret it, Mitch.
Asshole.
I'll take it.
Give me that!
You! Take the lead.
- What? - Go on, Gina.
Take it. You're on.
Far and wide
- Yes! She's doing it. Aah! - Wow.
I've explored the deepest caverns Of my mind
To try and find an explanation why
I get this funny feeling
Deep inside
When I think about my life
I wanna kiss myself
Goodbye
Sugar high
Gotta have it Really need it to get by
Sugar high
Wanna feel it Can't conceal it makes me high
Sugar high
And even though I gotta live until I die
Sugar high
Can you feel it? Can you feel it?
Sugar high
[CROWD CHEERING]
Perfect.
Well, not entirely perfect.
Hi. What are you doing up here?
- Listen to me! - Hello, Corey.
You're so special and you're so talented!
You have everything it takes! More than everything it takes!
And you're really stupid because you don't know that!
And I know you don't love me anymore and I blew it, but at least I know.
And if you don't go to art school...
...if you don't understand how special you are, then you know nothing.
- Corey, I-- - And I did love you and I still--
Only I didn't realize it was love because it was more than love.
It wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else.
I'll never love anybody as much as you.
- And I hate you! Why did you wait so long? - Corey, I quit.
I quit.
I'm going to art school...
...in Boston...
...so I can be near you.
- Really? - Yeah.
[COREY WHIMPERS]
[COREY LAUGHING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
MARK: That guy, whatever his name is.
What's his name? Um...
That dude with the shaved head? The liar guy?
EDDIE: Henry Rollins? MARK: Yeah, the guy with the tattoos all over.
- I admit, Henry Rollins is sort of a puss, man. - Yeah, he's a total puss. His lyrics suck.
But you can't go and put down The Misfits.
They had, like, everything it took to be a great punk band.
They had good bass lines and, like, strong guitar chords...
...even though they were only three.
They didn't even compare to Primus, man. They were that old-school stuff.
Primus? Why get into Primus, man?
- Primus sucks. - Primus is the new stuff.
I mean, out with the old, in with the new.
Well, that's just a bad thing if Primus is what's gonna come around.
- What are you talking about? - The fact that Primus has nothing, man.
They've got good bass lines. I'll admit.
They've got beautiful bass lines. Six-string fretless bass.
Okay, but they're not as good as, like, The Pixies.
The Pixies have way better bass lines than Primus.
So why didn't they stick around?
Well, you know, because people wanted to do solo careers and explore themselves...
...as single entities instead of a band.
But that's-- I don't know, man. They're just doing it for the money.
No, it's not about money. What are you talking about, "money"?
It's not about money at all.
[MARK & EDDIE CONTINUE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[English - US - SDH]