Just get the fuckin' coffee and let's go.
This ain't exactly Brazil.
I could pissed ya a fuckin' cup by now.
Hey! You're out of chocolate mac.
Sorry. No chocolate macadamia.
You would please have something else?
Fuckin' hazelnut...
That will be $1.08.
That sign says "All Coffee 69 Cents."
I am very sorry, but that is a 44-ounce cup, -
- and the largest coffee cup is 20 ounces.
Therefore, I must charge you -
- 99 cents, plus tax, -
- the price of a large fountain drink.
That's bullshit. That sign says: "Coffee All Sizes" -
- not "All Sizes Up to 20 Ounces".
I am humbly sorry, but you must pay 99 cents plus tax -
- for that cup.
Just pay the bitch the $1.08 -
- and let's get the fuck out of here.
All right.
This is bullshit. Just give me my fuckin Snackie Cake.
I am sorry. I cannot do that.
That is only available -
- with the 20-ounce coffee.
That is not a 20-ounce coffee.
This bitch is gettin' on my nerves, man. Forget it.
- Just give him the fuckin' danish. - That sign says:
"Free Snackie Cake"
I paid $ 1.08 for my coffee. I want my free Snackie Cake.
I cannot do that.
Here. Take it.
That's apple cinnamon. I wanted cream cheese.
Fuck's sake. Pay her the money and let's go.
Either of you got something smaller than a Ben?
I'm sorry.
I cannot accept any monies over a $20 bill.
- That's it. - I should not sell it to you, anyway...
As that cup is very hot and might burn you.
You are very strange.
I'm going to call the police.
Fuck this.
Fuck me.
Give me a smock.
How you doing tonight?
Fine.
How about yourself?
I'm doing okay.
Need a cup of coffee, though.
Hmm... raspberry blend.
It's on the house.
You sure?
Hey man, here you are -
- out chasing bad guys at 4:00 in the morning -
- while I'm sitting here like a duck...
It's the least I can do.
I appreciate it.
Smell something funny?
Yeah, one of our coolers went down.
Spoiled a lot of shit.
Sorry.
Hey man, if you can stand it -
- it don't bother me none. You got to work in it.
Mind if I, uh...
- ask you a question?
Go ahead, officer.
Tell me, who do you like better: Picard or Kirk?
Oh, there's no question about it.
- Kirk. - You bet.
You got to respect a man who can fuck a green bitch -
- and destroy a whole civilization all in 60 minutes.
Good night.
Thought we had a problem.
I almost forgot... my free Snackie Cake.
- Hello? - This is the operator.
I have a collect call from Nick.
- Who? - From a "Nick", will you accept charges?
- Yeah, I'll take it. - Go ahead, sir.
- Nick? - Case?
Look, uh, I'm coming through Houston tomorrow morning.
I was wondering if I might come see you.
- Oh, I don't know, bro. Why? - Things have changed.
I'm getting married.
I was hoping I could stay a couple days, you know?
Catch up?
Jesus.
What do you want me to say? "I'm sorry, bro, my wife's...
"going to be a little tired when she gets home tonight.
Here's 20 bucks. There's a La Quinta up the highway."
I thought maybe you'd want him to meet me. If he's such a good friend, -
- why haven't I heard about him before, hmm?
I told you.
I was kind of in the wrong path when I was in L.A.
I chose to get my shit together. He didn't.
What time is it? Oh, shit!
I'm going to miss my plane. I got to go. Bye.
- What about breakfast? - No, sorry. No time.
Okay...
Chris, don't plan anything tomorrow night. It's opening night.
I planned dinner with Allen tomorrow night.
Why didn't you remind me?
Chris, I've been working on this club for eight months.
He's the C.E.O. I have to be there.
Every critic in town will be there. We can't miss it.
We'll work something out. Just don't forget your appointment with Dr. Jarvis.
Casey, you know this adoption is...
Yeah, I know.
- It'll be fine. - You want me to take you?
No. I'll drive. I'm taking the Mustang.
- I love you. - I love you too. Bye.
Turn around and put your hands on the wall.
What?
Turn around... and put your hands on that wall.
You're kidding, right?
You're not going to try and fuck me are you?
You wish.
This isn't exactly how I envisioned our reunion going.
Oh, God... damn!
You had me going.
Goddamn, good to see you. Come on.
Finally, I ended up in Texas.
That was about a year ago.
I had a little money, got into mineral leases -
- and I've been, uh...
- working between here and L.A. ever since.
Looks like we both escaped.
No shit.
Look at you.
You look like that wolf that got taken in as a pet...
- all dumb and domesticated.
You want a beer?
When's the last time you had a beer at 8:00 in the morning?
About three and a half years ago.
- Well, let me get them. - No, I'll get them.
Sit down, I'm closer.
- That woman's got you trained, doesn't she? - They're not in there.
They're in the fridge in the garage. I'll get them.
Two fridges.
Welcome to suburbia.
What the fuck?
- What? - What the hell is this?
- It's Soy Moo. - Yeah, I can see that.
What's it for?
That's a milk substitute.
We're very health conscious.
There's no meat...
- no dairy... nothing.
- You're kidding. - Nope.
Three happy years -
- of veggie burgers and acidophilus.
Those are scrambled eggs.
Scrambled Tofutti.
Fuck, dude, Rod Serling's -
- going to step out of that fridge any second.
Nick?
What?
Does that look like a trash can to you?
Oh. Sorry, bro.
Under the sink, man.
So you're an architect, huh?
Yep.
- You're good. - Nah.
No, seriously, you're really fucking good.
Thanks.
She know?
Not... even... a clue.
Never.
I fly out tonight for "Paree".
"Yeah", "that's right."
You're fixing to tie that knot yourself.
Who's the lucky girl?
Aw, just some French chick.
Man, you sound head over heels.
Nervous, I guess.
Nothing wrong with living in France.
No extradition.
What?
I'm just kidding.
Say, I've got some errands to run.
You mind if I borrow your car?
Help yourself.
Hell, I got a floor plan that was due last Monday.
I'm not going anywhere.
Let's throw your bags into the guest, uh... bedroom here.
Fuck, bro.
It's really good seeing you.
Ooh!
Beamer... Nice!
- Insurance is in the glove box. - Got it.
And the, uh, spare is in the... trunk.
No problem. Thanks.
Don't mention it.
It's a fucking station wagon!
- Hey, what can I get you? - Just coffee.
Hi.
Have a seat.
Thanks.
What can I do for you?
You, uh, look pretty tired.
Well, it's 1:00 in the morning. I can't imagine why.
Well, you're kind of a dick, aren't you?
I'm sorry.
I guess I just haven't acclimatized yet.
I was in L.A.
Los Angeles? Oh.
Took some time off.
You know, for six weeks you come in here...
- every night, alone, I might add -
- and you sit here, and you study for hours.
And every night I wait on you, and you don't even notice me.
How come?
It's not that I... I mean, I noticed.
I mean, you... You're...
- Fuck, I'm just trying to get through this. - So, here it is, -
- Friday night, and here you sit.
And I'm thinking either, one:
You know, you're just a total geek.
Or two: you don't have any friends.
And you don't look like a geek, so, uh...
- I was wondering if you'd like to go, uh...
- get some breakfast?
You don't even know me.
Oh, uh... I'm Christine.
- You are? - Casey.
Casey. Casey. Okay, good.
Wait.
What?
- Tell me, why is it so fucking difficult? - What?
This relationship.
Why is it so... difficult?
I'm busting my ass here -
- to be the perfect husband for you...
- and the harder I work, the less you care.
I love you, and...
- you care more about your career than you care about me.
Casey, I do love you...
- but you are boring the shit, out of me.
You are working so fucking hard to be what you think I want -
- instead of giving me what I need.
Quit trying so hard. Why don't you just be yourself?
I don't want Fred Mac Murray, Casey.
I want you.
You, the cocky, determined guy, full of life.
- Full of... - You wouldn't like who I am.
I married you! I love you.
I don't want to lose you, Christine.
Christine!
There is nothing in that case but a pack of legal documents.
Maybe a box of condoms.
That's it.
Yeah?
I just want to know one thing.
What kind of fucking drugs are you on?
What?
I want to know what kind of "fucking drugs" you were on -
- to make you think you could bring fucking smack into my house!
- That briefcase was locked, Case. - Yeah? Sue me!
That wasn't very trusting of you to go through my shit.
This ain't exactly me borrowing your trading cards here, Beave.
You brought shit into my house! Into my home!
Which I invited you into as my fucking guest!
You know what they did in ancient Rome -
- when a visitor violated somebody's hospitality?
They cut off his dick and they nailed it to the fucking gate!
See, this is why I didn't want to tell you.
I knew that you would have very little enthusiasm for this deal.
I had a little business to finish up in Houston -
- and I wanted to tell you "Adios" face to face.
I want you to pedal your ass back here, pick up your shit, -
- get the fuck out of my house.
No can do, buddy.
I appreciate your situation, but I told you...
I got a little unfinished business to take care of.
- So what? - A little unfinished business.
If you're not back here in 15 minutes, -
- you're going to have to pick up your shit from the police evidence room.
And tell 'em what?
Your ex-partner just happened to stop by -
- with a basketful of goodies -
- and you felt it was your moral obligation to turn him in?
- I don't think so. - Look, you lame piece of shit.
I am having a little bit of trouble -
- coming up with reasons, not to blow the back of your fucking head off!
You're not sounding like that happy little suburbanite I saw this morning.
Don't forget.
Never can tell who's listening in.
Just watch my shit, Case. I'll be back in a couple of hours, -
- I'll pick up my bags and I'll split.
Watch your shit?
You're not hearing me, Nick. Get...
Sorry, Case, time's up. Gotta go.
Nick.
Nick!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Say, man, you got the wrong house.
I didn't order any pizza.
What?
I said you got the wrong house! I didn't order the pizza!
- This ain't your pizza, no? - No.
What kind is it?
Meat lover's.
I'll tell you what...
How much is it? I'll buy if off you.
No, man. No can do, no? You ain't ordered the pizza, -
- I can't sell it to you. - What are you going to do with it, take it back?
I'm offering to buy it from you.
Tell you what...
I'll sell you this one if you let me use your phone, yeah?
Deal. Come on in.
You know what happens if I pull this trigger?
- Do you? - You repaint my ceiling.
Yeah, man.
You know why I'm here, yeah?
Collecting for D.A.R.E.?
Okay, you give me the shit, and it's over real quick like.
Yeah.
Yeah. well, I hope you can swim.
- I put it down the disposal. - You put it in the drain?
Every milligram.
Okay.
Why you forcing me to pain you now?
Look, motherfucker, I don't have a clue -
- what's going on here, and I really don't care.
Check it out, professor.
Why would you do such a thing?
I'm not a drug dealer. I don't want that crap in my house.
This too much for me.
Yes, sir.
No, I'm here, man.
No, he don't have it.
Him put it in the sink, yo.
I checked, no man, he straight-up done it.
Him say he don't want it, in his house no more, yeah?
No, I'm not a drug dealer.
You sure, yeah? But...
Yeah, man. Yeah, man.
Got it.
Sorry, man. But you got to go.
Him doubly pissed now that you trashed it, yeah.
I have a little favor to ask.
Favor?
I think I could use a little ganj.
Yeah, man.
Die.
Hydroponic, man.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Feel that.
You fond of music, man?
What?
You think I do this 'cause I like killing people, huh?
No-no.
Ga-ga music is my life, yeah.
I have aspirations, yeah.
That's what I do on the radio.
I'm this close to a record deal.
Then...
No more of the killing.
It's time, man. Dog day, yeah?
I'm just helping you on to the next life, you know.
Yeah, man?
Marcia...
Can I call you back, yo?
I'm kinda into something.
Who?
In the office right now?
You want me to come down?
Over the phone.
No, man, the acoustics would be lousy.
Yeah, yeah. You're the boss, yeah.
Hey, grab the blue tape now, and put it the box.
- Come on, man! - You gotta be kidding me.
No, no, no. Turn it way up. Way up!
Can you hear it? Yeah, man.
Follow me.
Every day mortality stares me in the face-ah
Writing in reality's keepin' me awake now
Puttin' on the new me to work it
It's like letting go of things no choice but to forget
Pack up my nine and I strap it to my waist, now
Smoke on the reefer to keep my head straight
Talk to Jah for the lyrics now they're coming from the crowd
A doper M.C. I know will never be found
Don't know what I'm watchin' Don't know what I see
See, I know that I'm from got to follow me
Sign him quick. His value's about to go up.
I just love duct tape, don't you?
You're probably one of them morons who call it "duck" tape.
Here's the situation, ganja boy.
You had no way of knowing -
- that I was merely an innocent bystander to all of this.
And you "did" share your stash.
I can appreciate this.
Not to mention the fact -
- that I really don't want to kill you.
I don't even know what I'd do with you once you were dead.
But I can't just let you go.
So...
I have a dilemma.
What time is it?
Fuck.
Just a minute.
- Hello. - Mr. Wells.
- Dr. Jarvis, so good to see you again. - Nice to see you, too.
Won't you come in?
Sorry about that.
I-I couldn't find the key to the door.
- I didn't hear it unlock. - Oh, that's right.
I didn't find it. Um, right this way.
So, Mr. Wells, you and your wife -
- would like to adopt the baby.
- Yes, sir. that's right. - Okay.
Now, you understand the next step in the adoption proceedings?
Um, yes. We are to be individually evaluated.
Yes. that's right. That's why I'm here.
Uh, your wife, of course, -
- has already completed her evaluation.
She's an extraordinary woman.
Absolutely extraordinary woman.
- Um, shall we begin? - Sure, yeah. One thing?
Weren't we already evaluated at the previous screening?
No, that was just the initial consultation.
This is the individual competency test.
Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Wells?
No... not really.
Good. Then we can get started.
And what are your qualifications, Dr. Jarvis?
Are you an M.D... uh...
Are you nervous, Mr. Wells?
No.
Why?
Because what you're doing is this thing -
- called conversational transference.
Simply means that you're trying to evade -
- answering my question, by answering me with questions.
It's something that's usually indulged in -
- by individuals who are trying to hide something.
Are you trying to hide something from me, Mr. Wells?
- No. - Good.
- Do you currently use drugs? - No.
Not even Tylenol?
Some... sure.
- Any history of drug use? - Uh...
A little, I guess.
About as much as anyone who goes to college.
Justification of drug use.
How about alcohol?
An occasional beer.
You ever been incarcerated or institutionalized?
- No. - Any history of mental illness?
No.
You know, there's something about your application -
- that's very troubling to me.
There's a gap of two, two and a half years.
I mean...
- It occurs, like, five years ago. - Yeah.
Can I get you, uh, some iced tea?
- No. No, thank you. - I'm a little dry.
- Do you mind? - Oh, no. please, go. Go right ahead.
I asked because your wife was very vague -
- about what you might have been doing -
- and I was hoping you might be able -
- to shed a little bit of light on it for me.
Uh... I was in L.A.
Yes, that's just what your wife said.
Could you be a little bit more specific, though?
Oh, well... I-I was doing some odd jobs...
- and this and that, you know?
No, I don't know.
Could you elaborate?
Well, I did work as a mechanic for a while.
Oh, you mean like, for a body shop?
No. I mean like in a performance shop.
- Perf... - Well, exotics and, uh, rally cars.
Oh. Uh-huh. You know, I've changed my mind.
I think I would like some iced tea.
I'm sorry. We're all out of iced tea.
How about a beer? Yeah...
- You don't have anything else? - No. No, I don't.
This is... This is just about all that... all that I have.
Chris has been a little busy.
I'm-I'm sorry, Dr. Jarvis.
What-what were you saying?
Oh, I was just asking if you remember the name of that performance shop.
Uh, Bubba's.
Bubba's?
Bubba's... Big... Block... Shop.
Do you have a number for Bubba's?
No. No, they're, uh, out of business.
Could you excuse me, -
- for just a second?
My cat... must have got in...
- got into the garage, -
- and I'll be... be right back.
See these?
Got any idea what I can do with these?
- Mm-hmm. - Somehow, I just don't believe you.
Besides, that'd just make a lot of noise.
Sorry about that, Dr. Jarvis.
- So, where were we? - I was asking you about L.A.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, I apologize. This never happens.
Can I help you?
May I.
All right... may I help you?
- So, you're Casey? - That's right.
I'm a friend of Nick's.
I'll bet you are.
May I come in?
- Nick's not here right now. - I'll wait.
- I'm a little busy. - Well, I'll be real quiet.
Look, lady, I just told you. I'm a little busy!
It's quite all right. I would enjoy speaking with your friend.
She's not my friend. I don't know who the fuck she is.
Uh, hi. I am Dallas.
No, don't bother introducing yourself, 'cause she's not staying.
What is that?
"That" is my phone.
Aren't you going to answer it?
Yeah. I'm going to answer it.
Where's your cordless?
You doing a survey?
I had one. I broke it.
- In anger? - Yeah.
I mean, no.
Can you give me, uh, just a second?
Don't sit down.
- Hello. - Case.
Nick, you get the fuck back here right now.
No. I got myself in a little trouble, Case.
You, my friend, are in a lot more trouble than you fuckin' know.
- Yalie, huh? I'm a Vassar gal myself. - Oh, really?
- What was your major? - Poly-sci and philosophy. You mind?
Casey's got to be real fucked up -
- if you're making a house call.
I'm beginning to think so, yes.
Some Jamaican showed up here, and he tried to kill me.
And now one of your bimbos is sitting in my living room!
- Bimbo? - Some bitch named Dallas.
Tell me, you're not one of those, uh...
- Freudian sub-intellectuals who waste all their time -
- fixating on penis envy?
Well, sex is a prime motivator.
I mean, indirectly, I believe sex -
- is behind most of our major thought processes.
- You think so? - Absolutely.
- Do you like pornos? - Excuse me?
You know, pornos. Fuck films.
Surely you've heard stories.
Yes. I've heard stories, -
- but I've never... never really given them that much thought.
I love them, especially fag flicks.
Their big cocks sliding in and out of each other.
Fuck, that gets me so wet they have to steam clean the seat after I leave.
In fact...
- I'm getting wet just talking about it.
- What aren't you telling me, Nick? - Nothing, Case.
- Just don't give her my shit. - Don't worry. I don't have it.
- You give it to the Jamaican? - No.
- I flushed it down the sink. - What?
I went on as a day player on this porn film in L.A.
Just to see what it was like, right?
So, I spent five hours with this guy ramming his dick up my ass -
- and these two women licking my clit.
Not what you'd expect, though. It's just acting.
I mean, at first, it was great.
Then you have some prick director that comes over and yells "cut" in your face -
- and some queen makeup artist that comes over every couple of minutes -
- to touch up the makeup that's been slobbered off your tits.
So you don't really have a chance to enjoy it.
Finally, I just walked off the set.
Cool experience, though.
You got a hard-on, Jarv?
All right...
Time to go.
Your cow is calling you.
- I am so sorry, Dr. Jarvis. - Oh, no. Please, take your time.
You get the fuck out of my house.
Did you say you were from L.A.?
- What? - What?
Is that how you answer the phone these days?
I'm sorry, honey. I thought you were somebody else.
Did you know Mr. Wells when he was living in L.A.?
Well, not directly. Course, I heard of his work.
His work?
Isn't that why you're here?
What do you need? I mean, how's your day going?
Tough. We're at an impasse on the fee, so...
- That's great, honey. - What? Casey, are you okay?
How's everything there?
Oh, it's interesting. You really wouldn't believe it.
Have you seen Dr. Jarvis?
- Yes, and he's here right now. - Really?
- How's it going? - Huh...
And then, once I met Nick, I got the full-blown Casey Wells story.
- You want one? - One what?
A Casey Wells story.
- Yes, I would. - How about the last one?
- Fine. - All right.
Nick and Casey -
- had this guy, Jimmy. A small-time nothing, -
- a bird dog for some of the mid-level players.
It's cool, man. You just took too big a lick.
That is some rank fuckin' shit, man.
And he set up a meeting between them -
- and this big nigger named... uh, Lester James.
Of course, most people knew him as Ballpeen.
Ballpeen's casa at 7:00.
Where in the fuck a nigger get a name like that?
- You seen little nigger's arm, right? - Oh, yeah.
- That's why they call him Ballpeen. - He broke Jimmy's arm...
...with a ten-pound ball peen hammer.
Three years ago "Lester James", a.k.a. Ballpeen, -
- was a big, stud motherfucker.
Had a stable of bitches he fucked on a regular basis, -
- but every couple weeks... he went out to get some strange.
One night, Lester finds himself in this titty bar, -
- and this knockout white girl named Raven, is just gyrating her little tits off.
Well, Lester wanted her in the worst way.
Even more when she told him to go fuck himself.
He sprinkles a little fairy dust on her, -
- somehow gets her to go back to his place.
That was all she wrote. He "abused" this bitch.
He fucked her every way you can think of and then some.
Finally, he gets ready to go again, and he figures -
- he'd "really" degrade this bitch and make her blow him.
So, he pushes her head down and, bam!
She bites that motherfucker's dick... clean off.
Fortunately, they found it and sewed it back on.
But it never worked right again.
The problem is, a story like that gets around, you know how it is.
So to combat this, anytime he even heard anybody talk about it, -
- he'd use this fuckin' hammer on them.
"Ballpeen" kind of stuck.
And Jimmy?
Over the years, this kind of shit gets out of control.
So one day, Ballpeen, shows up late for a meeting -
- and Jimmy made the mistake of asking if he'd been jerking off.
Next thing you know, Jimmy's got a broken arm.
Goddamn.
Fast-forward to Ballpeen's. Just another drug deal -
- in "La-La Land." - Motherfuckers team make it out here?
Want to get this over with.
Shit makes me nervous.
What the fuck is up with this shit?
You must have some pretty bad fuckin' karma...
- feel the need for that kind of artillery.
Don't worry, babe. It's cool.
- Casey... - Whoa, whoa. Hey, man!
Fuck you! You in my motherfuckin' house!
Now, come on, big black man.
You know I wouldn't bring no niggas up in here unless they was cool.
Let that bad motherfucker in.
- How's that arm, nigga? - It's all right.
- It's still here. - You a bad motherfucker?
I just don't let people run their hands all over me. It shows a lack of trust.
- May I sit down? - Are you here to sit?
You tell me.
Sit down.
- Shit looks good. - Your turn.
Why don't you show us the money now?
Why don't you, uh. let me choose the next kilo to test?
Help yourself.
Derrick.
Count 'em, Jimmy.
Some more, square?
Since we're all good friends here, I got a question for you.
Ask away.
It's all here, Case.
I heard about this big, bad motherfucker.
He's got this habit of hitting niggers with his hammer.
I've heard the reason why he uses it -
- and I can sympathize.
But, uh... there's this one thing...
- that I just... I can't get it out of my head.
- Go on. - Well...
I heard about how most niggers got these really big dicks, you know.
I mean... just salami-sized cocks.
Well...
Now, I've had many a different blow job, -
- by any number of different bitches.
So, I know how much room even my white-boy dick -
- takes up in a bitch's mouth, right.
My question...
- is how the hell this little bitch, -
- got this big, nigger dick in her mouth...
- chomped it off all in one bite?
She could have gnawed on it for a while, but -
- I don't think there's a motherfucker in here let that happen.
- Yo, we got a problem here. - So, the only thing I can think of...
- is that this big, bad ass-kickin' nigger -
- had this little "itty-bitty dick" -
- wouldn't have done him no good, anyway.
What do you think?
Am I close?
I said, we got a motherfuckin' problem here!
What you doing, man? I'm fuckin' dead.
- Fuckin' dead. - Why didn't you use a silencer, Casey?
Get the fuckin' money, Jimmy.
I'm fuckin' dead. I'm fuckin' dead, man.
Why didn't you use a silencer, Casey?
You want to go door-to-door... tell everybody my fuckin' name?
- Oh! I'm fuckin', fuckin' dead. - Fuckin' forgot 'em.
Good luck, man. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
We got 45 seconds. Let's go.
You still here?
- What are you doing? - I'm leaving.
I've heard quite enough for one day.
What-what? What did you tell him?
- I don't even know this bitch. - Well, she certainly seems to know you.
Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure to meet you.
Could have made a very bad mistake.
Dr. Jarvis. Now, I-I...
- Doctor! - We'll be in touch, Mr. Wells.
No, now, there's been some kind of a mistake, Dr. Jarvis.
Dr. Jarvis!
- I'm fucked. - Yes... you are.
Well, Case, it's just you and I.
What do you think?
My wife's going to have my ass when she finds out I let some -
- dyke in a pink rubber dress blow off her chances -
- for Happy Meals and diaper wipes.
It's red, asshole.
- Where is it? - I'll tell you, if you answer one question.
Sure. Shoot.
Are you on the rag?
Because you look like one of those women who are...
- explosive under stressful situations, and...
Being married, you should fucking know how much women hate that question.
But being a typical male, -
- you ignore your better judgment -
- and ask anyway, huh?
I should just do your wife a favor and blow your head off.
It's as if every mood swing can be written off as:
"She's just on the rag."
Like that explains something.
Women have mood shifts, that "is" a fact of life.
And for your information, I am a complete bitch, -
- whether I'm on the rag or not.
Hmm?
Now, let me answer your question.
- Does that answer it? - I'd say you're right. You're just a bitch.
Good. Now...
- answer my questions -
- before you start losing appendages.
It's gone.
- Gone? - Yeah.
- What do you mean, it's gone? - I 86'ed it.
I sent it swimming down the sink. Bye-bye.
You're one smooth motherfucker, Casey.
You can keep the smack, and I'll take the money -
- and we can call it even. - Money? What fucking money?
It seems we're going around in circles here. Hmm.
I want the two mil, Casey.
- Let me... - Let me explain something to you.
I am not a drug dealer. It's been four years, -
- since I've even seen any drugs.
I'm an architect.
I am a happy little Republican, -
- who spends the majority of his time, -
- trying to figure out how to pay the fucking bills -
- and make his wife happy.
I got to tell you, Casey, I'm not impressed.
After everything I heard about you, -
- I thought you were gonna be more like... me.
But you are a sheep, like all the rest.
There will come a time...
- when even you, can't handle it anymore.
You'll pack it up or you'll put a bullet -
- in that pretty little head of yours.
Or someone else will.
You are a pussy, Casey.
Nick wouldn't admit it, but it's true.
You just couldn't handle it, could you?
Nick ever tell you about that last time?
- Sure. - Ballpeen's apartment?
- Uh-huh. - Did he tell you about the girl?
- What's up? - Why didn't you use the silencer, Casey?
Get the fucking money.
- Why didn't you use a silencer? - You wanna go door to door -
- and tell everybody, in the building my fuckin' name?
- I forgot 'em, all right? - I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
Get the fuckin' money, Jimmy, and let's get the fuck out.
We got 45 seconds. Let's go.
- What? - Jesus.
She's seven, maybe eight months, pregnant, Nick.
Fuck me.
Come on, Casey, we got to go.
She's dead, Casey.
Dead, just like we're going to be -
- if we don't move our asses.
We got to go. Snap out of it, man!
It's clear. We got to jump. That bitch was gonna kill you, man. Let it go.
- What about Jimmy? Is he... - He's meat loaf, bro.
This is it, Nick.
No more.
That was it.
Oh, that was a real touching story, Case.
Remind me to submit it to "Reader's Digest" after you're gone.
So it looks like we're going to have to wait for Nick.
What should we do to kill some time?
I know.
- Let's fuck. - That's happening.
Even if you weren't the most disgusting bitch I'd ever met, -
- I'd have to decline. You see, I'm a married man.
You seem to be under the impression that you have a choice here.
Ah, let's see.
You'll appreciate the irony here.
She wanted to watch.
Fuck you, bitch.
There's no fucking way, you'll ever get me inside you.
You wanna' bet?
Well, look at that.
Have you done this before?
Don't worry.
I'm not going to kill you till you come.
I'll let you betray your wife thoroughly.
Maybe if we get lucky, I'll get pregnant.
Oh...
That was one.
Don't worry. I'm multiorgasmic.
- Got it, honey? - Yeah, hold on.
- Wait, wait, wait. - Okay, it's flashing.
Okay, here we go. Here we go! Whoo! Okay, here we go! Whoo!
I love you.
I love you, too.
Number two.
Great self-control.
Goddamn, did you see the way that bitch head explode? Shit!
Ordinarily, it would be a damn shame to shoot a piece of ass like that.
You know what I mean? But in her case, I'll make an exception.
I always hated that bitch. My name's Billy Hill.
My friend's call me Hill-Billy. You can call me Mr. Hill.
I hope I didn't interrupt anything too romantic for you, -
- but that whore could go all day long.
Besides, I was getting tired sitting down in the cab of my truck.
She lost me on the freeway.
Let me give you a little friendly piece of advice.
I know you're retired. You got this family thing going here.
But you really ought to have your name and number unlisted.
Information girl give me your address.
Your fucking address, man. That don't sound too smart.
- What are you looking for? - Tequila.
- To your right. - Mm.
The good stuff.
Fancy.
You got any limes? No? Just as well.
Oh! Yeah! Damn!
It always tastes like old feet to me.
That shit'll fuck you up, though. Mm.
You ever hear how it's made?
A bunch of Mexicans... sitting around this big wooden vat -
- chewing on agave, right?
They do this days and days spitting into this giant vat.
Then when it's full, -
- then they leave that there to ferment.
When it's ready, -
- they scoop off the top layer.
That's mescal. Nasty, huh?
No wonder that shit tastes so bad.
Well, I ain't going to shit you, pal.
When I leave here today, -
- you're going be dead as Cinderella over there.
Regardless of what you tell me, -
- I'm gonna fuck you up.
Ready to get started?
I know you threw out the smack.
And you probably don't know where the money is, neither.
That's cool.
The truth is...
I ain't got nothing better to do...
- while I wait here for my old friend, Nick.
Just so you know, I ain't going to let you bleed to death.
No, sir. 'Cause when I cut you...
- I'm going to cauterize you.
I consider myself an artist. Matter of fact, -
- I picked up this little girl at this club one time, -
- and I cut on her for 16 hours.
That's a personal best. But I keep hopin'.
You know, in a way, -
- it's really Nick that's to blame for all this.
If he hadn't tried to double-cross me and Dallas, -
- I wouldn't be here.
All right. Now, let's see.
I think I'm going to start at the feet and work my way up!
What the hell?
Open the door. Police! Open the fucking door, Will!
There's no Will here! Go away!
Stupid son of a bitches. They got the wrong house.
Go away!
Everybody on the ground!
Don't go nowhere.
Where's the money, motherfucker?
Where's the money?
I mean, there's no money in here!
Shut up, bitch!
There's a .45 in the fridge -
- and you grab a fucking frying pan.
I must have some really bad karma.
Stupid cops.
They busted up the wrong house.
They went in, blew everyone away!
The wrong house!
They got the Wong house.
They got the "Wong" house.
Shit, man. Lighten up.
Where the hell was I?
Yeah. I think I was, uh...
This piece of shit was going to cut you up.
Now you fucking do it.
Do it!
Fuck!
Dallas was right.
Hello.
- Hey, Case. - Nick!
Man, it's good to hear from you!
Goddamn. I just wanted to tell you -
- how much I enjoyed your visit. - I know you're pissed.
Pissed? Oh, no, I'm not pissed. If you hadn't brought your friends along -
- what would I have done with my day, man?
I'd a missed out on being beaten and raped, abused, tied up, generally fucked up.
- Casey... - Not to mention what you done for my house.
What would you call it? Early-Gothic horror.
I don't have time for this shit.
I'm dead.
Unless I make this next plane, you can write me off.
- There's still a chance for you. - Where's the money, Nick?
That's why I'm calling you. I stole it from the cops, -
- and they ain't real happy about it.
They're going to be coming after you.
They already hit the house next door.
It's only a matter of time.
- What about the fucks you stole the shit from? - Oh, they're dead.
Unfortunately, the niggers who they work for ain't.
They're going to find you too, sooner or later.
Come on, man. Where's the money?
I hid it.
I want you to get out of town for a while.
Take a vacation... A second honeymoon. Something.
One day when you're sitting on a beach sipping a cold one, -
- spare tire around your waist, think about me, bro.
- Where you going, Nick? - Can't tell you.
Your car's at I.A.H. in short-term parking.
There's a flight leaving for Paris tonight at 8:05.
If I were you, I would be on it.
- I got to go. - Hey, Nick, you really getting married, man?
No, man.
Not my style.
Nick?
I love you, Case.
I'm sorry about the shit.
Maybe one day I'll make it up to you.
I got to go.
Adios.
Nick...
Nick?
Oh, fuck.
Just a minute.
Oh, shit, that's cold.
Mr. Wells.
Detective Kasarov. May I come in?
Sure.
This is a nice place you got here.
I like the mailbox... cute.
My wife's idea.
I'll have to drive my wife by sometime... She'd...
She'd love it.
- Feel better now? - Tons.
Keep yours. It's a gesture.
- Mind if I get something to drink? - No, no. Help yourself.
Casey, why don't you take a peek in that bag?
I got a little something for you.
Soy milk. I just love soy milk.
You know, one of my kids is lactose-intolerant.
So I ended up getting hooked on the shit.
Couldn't get enough of it.
I don't get too much anymore. Mmm.
Ahh!
Well... Why don't we...
- handle our business like a couple of grown-ups.
I mean, Casey, you know I didn't pop over here -
- for some social visit.
Your friend, Nicky, stole a lot of money from us.
Killed a few officers, in the process.
Deaths we can overlook.
Okay?
But we want our money back.
Like I've been telling everybody come through here...
I realize you don't have it, but you know where it is.
Somewhere in the deepest recesses of your brain, -
- you know.
You can't tell me after all the time you spent with Nicky, -
- you don't know, how his mind worked.
You just figure it out.
I'm telling you...
I know how much you're doing to clean up your act.
And I venture to guess that...
- that your good-looking wife doesn't even know about your past.
Right?
Tell you what, Casey, I want to make you a deal.
You have that money here tonight at 7:00...
- and I'll make this fuckin' nightmare disappear.
- Where do you got the bodies? - In the garage.
Let's go.
What the fuck is this?
I didn't know what to do with them.
Well, I'll tell you something, Casey, If I was you, -
- I'd clean up this mess, because your wife's going -
- to come home and she's not going to be very happy.
Any suggestions?
Well, I'll tell you, if I'm not mistaken...
I think today's garbage day.
7:00.
Sharp.
And if I don't find it?
Casey, I'd try real hard.
How do I know all of this is going to disappear?
Don't be late.
One day, when you're sitting on a beach sipping a cold one, -
- a spare tire around your waist, -
- think about me, bro.
You're good, Nick.
You're very, very good.
"Sorry I missed it. Nick."
Whew.
Never forget who you are, man. You do, you die.
Love, Nick.
Who the fuck's this?
This is the motherfucker who killed the ganja man.
I got your shit, motherfucker.
Yeah? Then if you do, -
- you have one mil at my "Casa" at 7:00, -
- 'cause I'm auctioning the shit off.
My name is Casey Wells.
You can't find me, you don't get to bid.
7:00. Don't be late.
Looks like it's just you and me, partner.
All right, Casey. Time's up.
He's in the kitchen!
Casey, what are you doing here?
Can I speak with you a minute?
I'm kind of in the middle of something here, Casey.
- Casey, you remember Allen? - Hey, Allen, excuse us.
God, of all the times you decide to spaz out.
- Whose car? - It was Nick's. I'm borrowing it.
It's not important. Here's the deal.
I'm going to France. My plane leaves in one hour.
I miss it, I won't be going anywhere.
What? Your little friend's gotten you in trouble, hasn't he?
God.
What, are you just going to go with or without me?
I got no choice. Line in the sand, Chris.
For better or for worse.
That's your decision.
I love you.
You're asking me to throw away my life.
This has got its own reward. Now, I got to know.
You in or you out?
Time's up. I got to go.
Casey, wait.
Last chance.
- I won't lose you, Casey. - Good choice, Chris.
Let's see what's behind door number one.
Oh, my God.
How much?
Two million dollars.
- I guess we won't be too miserable. - Did you rob a bank?
No, I'll tell you all about it... everything.
We got to catch that plane!
Oh, my God...
Sorry, Allen, I have to miss that dinner tomorrow night.
Looks like I'll be out of town.
So, how was your day?
I closed the account.
I'm really happy for you.
Oh, I didn't know you cared.
Sweetheart...
There are a lot of things you don't know about me.