前情提要 龙虎少年队
你这个呆子 You're a fucking nerd.
孩子 能毕业已经算你走运 Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
该死 Fuck!
-看来你是高手 -没错 - You're good at this, huh? - Yeah.
-看来你才是高手 -没错 - You're really good at this. - Yeah.
交个朋友怎样 Hey, you want to be friends?
你的枪没装子弹吧 Yours isn't loaded, right?
-就碰一下 -我怕 - Just touch it. - I'm scared.
就碰一下 Just touch it.
说真的 好了 好了 Seriously. All right, all right, all right.
你替我挨了一枪 You took a bullet for me, man.
你打中了我的老二 You shot me in the dick!
混蛋们 一切都好吗 Boom, motherfuckers!
你们两个给我去上大学 You two sons of bitches are going to college!
龙虎少年队2
阴可被看作是缓慢柔软和被动的 Yin is characterized as slow, soft, passive,
与水和阴柔相关 and is associated with water and femininity.
相反 阳则是快速的 坚实的... While, Yang, by contrast, is fast and solid and...
简直是扯淡 Man, this is bs.
我还以为咱们要去上真正的大学 I thought we were going to actual college,
谁知道是上网络大学 not online college.
听讲座里的暗号什么的 Listening for coded messages in lectures.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
你看看 Look around.
这都是我们的城市了 This is our city.
还上大学干嘛 What do we want to be in college for?
你说得对 You're right.
最佳拍档 Partners for life.
潮汐将在上午十点半抵达新都城港口 At Metro city port, the tide comes in at 10:30 A.M.
随后便会退潮 Then it will return to the sea.
新都城港口 一小时后 Metro port. One hour.
Turn down for what
行动吧 let's do this.
Turn down for what
没想到吧 这还有两只手 Surprise. There's two more arms.
Turn down for what
-该死 那个是老鬼 -什么老鬼 - Shit! That's the Ghost. - The Ghost?
乔塞特·尼尔森 Joste Nillsen,
新都城最大的违禁物贩卖商 biggest trafficker of illegal goods in Metro city.
他跟墨西哥毒枭是一伙的 He teamed up with a Mexican cartel,
通过这个港口来偷运违禁物 and they're running all this shit through the port.
我们要装作买什么 What the hell are we supposed to be buying?
我不知道 I don't know.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我准备乔装成一个杀手 I got a new identity that's gonna be killer.
你负责接我话 I'll be throwing it to you to make it legit.
好吧 Okay.
需要你即兴表演 行吗 I'm gonna need you to improvise. Okay?
我不想即兴表演 I don't want to improvise.
我需要你即兴表演 I'm gonna need you to improvise.
我即兴表演不行 而且我也不想 I suck at improvising. I don't want to do it.
我进入角色时需要绝对的安静 I need absolute silence while I fall into character.
能不能让我先... Can you give me a head start on...
我需要绝对的安静 I need absolute... I need absolute silence.
-能不能... -绝对安静 - Can you please... - Absolute silence.
你逗我呢吧 Are you fucking serious right now?
我最讨厌别人迟到了 All right. I hate people who are late.
我们打算先验货 We're trying to see that product.
我操 Shit!
没睡醒 近来如何啊 Yo, sleepy! What's up, homie?
你认识我堂弟 衰仔 You know my cousin, Sad Boy.
你认错人了 伙计 I think you got the wrong guy, homie.
别扯淡了 你就是没睡醒 Oh, that's bullshit, man! You sleepy!
大家都说在西语区 Everyone say in the barrio,
没睡醒是墨西哥版金刚狼之类的 "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine" And shit.
这是我的拍档 他想验验货 Hey, my partner here, he want to see the product.
他怎么不说话 Why ain't he talking?
我叫杰夫 My name is Jeff.
他是小杰夫 哥们 That's Jeffe, man.
跟他们讲讲耗子的成人礼 Tell 'em about mousie's quinceanera, man.
你们疯狂的冒险之旅 Tell 'em about that crazy adventure you guys had.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
伙计 你昨晚讲的时候 Oh, man, when you were telling the story last night,
讲得多详细啊 you had so much detail!
讲得好详细 真的好详细 The detail was so rich! It was rich detail!
快给我们大家仔仔细细一字不落的 Go into incredibly descriptive details of the story,
从头说起 so we all know.
好的 Oh, yes.
有朵拉和迪亚哥 It was Dora and Diego
还有毛贼 and Swiper.
毛贼 Swiper?
还有谁你没想起来了 伙计 Who was that you choked out, man?
就在嘴边了 是谁 He had it coming! Who was that?
靴子 Boots.
不对 不是靴子 靴子都不是人名 No, man, that wasn't Boots! Boots isn't a real name!
你得跟他们说实话 伙计 You got to tell them the real story, man.
从头开始说起 Start over from the top.
名字肯定是瞎掰的 That's a made-up name.
没想到现在得跟你们这种混混打交道 I can't believe the punks I have to deal with these days.
真怀念九十年代的日子 It really makes me miss the '90s,
那时候起码还专业一点 when we had professionals around.
想要验货是吗 You want to check out the goods?
去吧 Check it out.
还有 给我闭嘴 And shut up. Right?
伙计 你在哪找的外国佬 Where'd you find this gringo, man?
在蒙福之子音乐会里找的吗 At the fucking Mumford & sons concert and shit?
是什么 枪吗 还是毒品 What is it? Guns? Drugs?
不 不 No! No!
老兄 真恶心 Dude! It's gross!
它在朝我嘴里喷墨 It's inking in my mouth!
我帮你扯下来 I'll get it off.
它的触手在咬我 Its tentacle is eating me!
抓得真牢 都扯不开了 It's so strong! It's really on there, man.
它在咬我的脸 It's biting my face!
该死 Shit!
里面是黑市里的奇珍异兽 Black market exotic animals,
这就是我们想要的货 just like we expected to be in there.
你的口音没了 The accents are gone, huh?
抓住他们 他们是警察 Take them out, guys. They're cops.
-怎么了 -不知道 车好像在动 - What was that? - I don't know! I think we're moving.
车确实在动 We're definitely moving!
这里好多鸟跟屎玩意 There's fucking birds and shit in here!
还真有屎 There's actual shit!
我靠那是什么 What the fuck?
这他妈的还有条蜥蜴 There's a fucking dragon in here!
该死 Shit!
什么声音 What was that?
伙计 那是咱们的车 Dude, that was our car.
那车上有我们那么多美好时光 We shared so much in that car!
我要去打烂他们的脸 I'm going to shoot them in the face for that!
那是咱们的车 That was our fucking car!
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
别跟少狼一样上车顶 Don't teen wolf on the truck!
别把我一个留在这 Don't leave me here alone!
那就上来 Then get up here!
我做不到 I can't do that!
那就爬上来 快点 爬上来 Then fucking climb around. Come on, climb around.
上来 伙计 你能行 Let's go. Come on, buddy. You got it.
好吓人 This is so scary!
开枪 Shoot him!
别把我一个留在这 Don't leave me out here!
-没子弹了 -你这蠢货 - I'm all out. - You stupid moron!
就这样 加油 That's it. Come on.
-快爬上来 -操 - Fucking get up here. Come on. - Fuck!
-好了 没事吧 -没事 - All right, you good? - Yeah!
-你跟着我走就行了 -好的 - All you got to do is walk now, okay? - Okay.
该死 Shit!
你他妈在干嘛 快上来 What the fuck are you doing? Get up here!
我做不到 I can't!
好吧 我拖着你走好了 All right, fine, I guess I'll just drag you.
我要死了 I'm gonna die!
你不会死的 你他妈的赶紧上来 You're not gonna die. Just get the fuck up here!
自己上来 Pull yourself up here.
腹肌用力 Use your core!
行了 行了 加把劲 You got it, you got it. Come on, come on. Yeah!
好了 可以自己站起来吗 All right. Think you can stand on your own now?
是的 Yes!
咱们应该甩掉他们了 I think we lost them.
该死的 Shit!
我靠 他是终结者吗 He's the fucking Terminator!
那样很危险 That's fucking dangerous!
你们被逮捕了 You are under arrest!
把车停到路边 Pull the truck over!
我说马上把车停到路边 I said pull the fucking truck over right fucking now!
你欠我一辆车 You owe me a car,
你他妈的最好还我一台兰博基尼 and it'd better be a fucking Lamborghini, you bitch!
我做到了 I did it!
你有权保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent.
该死 Oh, shit!
谢天谢地 Holy Moses!
该死 Shit.
怎么回事 What happened?
我想他们逃掉了 I think they got away.
那是吻痕吗 Is that a hickey?
事实上这是起八爪鱼意外 Oh. This was actually an octopus-related incident.
我打开箱 有只八爪鱼扑到我的脸上 I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face.
很显然 他们有很多爪 Apparently, they have many, many arms.
他们有八只触手 They have eight tentacles.
是啊 Yes, and...
听着 娘炮们 Look, ladies,
你们刚来时 nobody gave a shit
根本没人在乎龙虎街重启计划 about the Jump Street reboot when you first came on.
但凡有点脑子的人 包括我本人 Anyone with half a brain, myself included,
都觉得这计划肯定会一败涂地 thought it was destined to fail spectacularly.
但你们很幸运 But you got lucky.
因此现在局里投了很多钱 So now this department has invested a lot of money
确保龙虎街能继续运行 to make sure Jump Street keeps going.
我们把预算翻倍 We've doubled their budget.
以为花两倍的钱能换来加倍的效益 As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit.
像真能行得通似的 Like that's going to work.
对啊 局长认为之所以行不通 Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened,
是因为你们没有像第一次那样 because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing
用学生身份做卧底 you did the first time.
其实她还不明白第二次只会更糟糕 She doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around.
你们习惯了以旧角色相待 You settle into worn-out roles.
一个占有欲强 一个总想要逃 One gets possessive, the other runs away.
你们开始了一段漫长而痛苦的分开 You begin a slow, painful unraveling,
过去的种种美好 as all the good things that came before
已然被悲伤所击碎 begin to be crushed by the trash compactor of sadness.
听上去不像在说我们 That doesn't sound like us. I mean...
我在离婚 I'm getting a divorce.
我们不想干老一套 We don't want to do the same thing.
我们想要有所突破 We want to burst through our ceiling.
然后继续寻求新的突破 And you're gonna find another ceiling,
但要做到这样 and you got to bust through that one,
就得不断地突破 and you just got to keep hammering ceilings.
好了 好了 Okay, okay, okay.
要不我们加入特工处 What if we actually went into the secret service,
去保护白宫什么的 and, like, tried to protect the white house?
-我想... -估计不行 - I think... - I don't think that would work.
别再说了 I'm going to ask you to stop talking.
我觉得这主意挺好的 I thought it was a pretty good idea.
一切照旧 皆大欢喜 Do the same thing as last time, everyone's happy.
真不敢相信韩国人买回了他们的教堂 I can't believe the Koreans bought their church back.
是啊 好在街对面有一间 Yeah. Good thing there was an even bigger abandoned church
更大的废弃教堂 directly across the street.
-真方便 -是挺方便的 - Yeah. That's convenient. - Yes, it is convenient.
明年也许咱们又会回到街对面 Next year, we'll probably just be right back across the street.
就在隔壁 Just next door. 龙虎街23号公寓 敬请期待
现在还言之尚早[走在我们前面] Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
我们哪有走自己前面 We're not ahead of ourselves.
我们不是肩并肩一起走着吗 We're right next to each other.
真棒 感觉莫名其妙的变高大上了 This is awesome. Like, way more expensive for no reason.
你看迪克森的办公室 Look at Dickson's office.
像个大冰块 Looks like a giant cube of ice.
你们两个小婊子现在觉得龙虎街怎样 How you bitches like Jump Street now?
你们都看过了吧 Y'all see this shit?
龙虎街屌炸天 22 jump street is the lick.
还给我涨了不少工资来伺候你们俩 And I got a big-ass raise to babysit you two fuckers again.
我设计的 还有个咖啡吧 Designed it myself. We got an espresso bar.
我准备在那放一个鲨鱼缸 I'm thinking about a shark tank over there.
我喜欢鲨鱼 Oh, I like sharks.
去他的龙虎街21号 去他的韩国耶稣 Fuck a 21 jump street, and fuck a Korean Jesus.
老大 别这样 韩国耶稣就在那呢 Whoa! Cap, come on, Korean Jesus is right there.
那是越南耶稣 That's Vietnamese Jesus.
明白没 这是越南人的教堂 See, this a Vietnamese church.
你这个该天杀的种族歧视 You racist, sacrilegious sack of shit.
你看 越南耶稣都伤心得掉颜料了 Look at that. Vietnamese Jesus just dripping swagoo.
我们请了些新的蠢货实习生 And we got some new dumb-ass interns.
注意了 Hey, hey! Look alive!
-小伙伴们 -琴科 - Boys. - Yo, Jenko.
施密特 Hey, Schmidt!
别这样 Don't do that.
他们想要老一套 那就来吧 So, they want the same shit, so here we go.
一样的身份 Same identities.
一样的任务 Same assignment.
我们是要回去高中吗 We're going back to high school?
你他妈的看起来都快50岁了 Your ass look like you about 50.
你们要去MC州立大学 You're going to MC state.
我们真的要去上大学吗 We're going to college for real?
那里有人研制出了种新型毒品 Somebody's out there, they're cooking up a new drug.
里面掺了阿得拉和摇头丸 It's Adderall mixed with ecstasy
鬼知道还掺了什么东西 mixed with God knows what else.
"歪劈"吗 "Wipey"?
不 你个傻逼 是"歪飞" No, you dumb motherfucker. "Whyphy."
意思是"学的好 玩的爽" Stands for "Work hard? Yes. Play hard? Yes."
那些孩子磕了这种药 Now, these kids take this shit,
就能超级专注地学习四小时 and they get laser-focused for about four hours of studying,
玩起来就跟开末日派对一样 and then they party like it's goddamn 1999.
这是谁 Who's this?
这是辛西娅·华生 That's Cynthia Watson.
她是MC州立的学生 She was a student at MC state.
磕了些歪飞 She took some whyphy,
反锁在自己宿舍外头了 got locked out of her dorm,
结果从屋顶掉下来 ended up falling off the roof.
现在已经死翘了 And now she's dead.
这是她在校园里买歪飞的照片 That's her buying drugs on campus.
那人是卖家 And that's the dealer.
找到他就能找到供货人 Find him and we find the supplier.
长官 我想说 Sir, can I just say,
能接到黑人受害者的案子真是太振奋了 it is so refreshing to have a case with a black victim.
我的意思是 因为她是黑人 I mean, we care so much more,
所以我们更关心这案子 because she's black.
其实他想说我们都一视同仁 I think what he's really trying to say is that we care equally.
都一样地关心 It's a tie, really, how much we care.
才不是 No, we're not.
要死的是白人 我才不管他 If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care.
反正世间还少了个祸害 One less cracker-ass cracker to worry about.
为什么每次听你说话我都他妈的想吐 Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up?
找到卖家 查出供货人 Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier.
MC州立 大学
你还好吧 You all right?
还好 Yeah.
只是... It's just...
我是我们家第一个"上大学"的 I'm the first person in my family to pretend to go to college.
最棒的是咱俩能一起上大学 Best part is we get to do it together.
你好吗 大学 What's up, college?
你好吗 伙计 我们住322 What's up, bro? We're 322.
去他妈的高中 对不 Fuck high school, right?
去他妈的高中 Fuck high school.
好小 Oh, so tight!
真他妈扯淡 Oh, this is so baller!
-床 -该死的 - Beds... - Oh, shit.
蠢货 那些好像是精液 Oh, dope. That looks like cum.
是精液 好吧 That's cum. Okay. All right.
刚到就来了一发 Already got cum on the mattress, dawg.
-欢迎来到大学 -没错 - Welcome to college. - Fuck, yeah.
洗衣篮
洗漱篮
电炉
豆袋椅 电炉
T恤
证明我们喝酒的搞笑T恤 Hilarious shirt that signals we drink alcohol. T恤
3个沐浴球
熏肉机
我妈买给我的熏肉机 Some bacon machine that my mom got me. 熏肉机
但我不知道怎么用 I do not understand how it works.
这
玩意 这
棉签
豆袋椅
接下来6个月都不会洗的被子
这是真的 It's true.
高科技警用装备 Super high-tech police gear.
还有随心所欲的预算 Carte blanche with the budget, motherfucker.
兰博基尼
我反对你贴这张海报 I'm going to veto that poster. 兰博基尼
我反对你贴这张海报 I'm going to veto that poster.
有点太孩子气了 It's a touch childish.
兰博基尼跟孩子有什么关系 Okay. What do lambos have to do with touching children?
兰博基尼逊毙了 Lambos are lame.
我就只能选一个 我可以选择一个 I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not...
我想选什么就选什么 I can do whatever that I want to.
但我们得达成共识 Yes, but we have to agree.
懂我的意思吗 You know what I mean?
你好吗 伙计 我们住在对门 What up, fellas? We're your across-the-hall neighbors.
你们俩是双胞胎 Oh, hey, there's two of you. You're twins.
你好 伙计 What's up, man?
我们是杨氏兄弟 We're the yangs, man.
-我是肯尼·杨 -你好 - Kenny Yang. - What's up?
基斯·杨 Keith Yang.
你们好 你们好 What's going on? What's going on?
你们姓杨啊 Did you say the Yangs?
对 老爸是中国人 Yeah, dad's Chinese, man.
老妈不是 她是黑人 Our mom's not Chinese. She's black.
百分百黑人 She's like real black.
黑人演员 电影《刀锋战士》男主角 -韦斯利·斯奈普斯那种 -没错 - Like Wesley Snipes black. - Exactly.
我们也是兄弟 We're brothers, too.
不 他没开玩笑 No. He's not kidding. He's serious.
是吗 Oh, really?
你们年纪差很大吗 What? Like, one of y'all older?
眼角的鱼尾纹出卖了你 Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man.
你的特别明显 You specifically.
我们只是正常的大学生年纪 We're actually just normal college age.
即便你年纪大点 也没事 I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man,
你也知道大学女生都爱大叔 because, you know, girls here love older dudes.
没错 That's true.
再说了 这里有好多饥渴的女生 Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here.
超饥渴 特别是放春假的时候 Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break.
我爱春假 但不得不说 I love spring break. But I do have to say,
我现在操过妹子上千 I've fucked a thousand girls by now,
但是到头来 and I don't know, at the end of the day,
还是想要点什么 you just kind of want something
更深入的东西 that's just a little deeper really.
没错 插得更深入 Yeah, balls deeper.
默契 请我喝可乐 Jinx. Buy me a coke.
还是说一样的话 太赞了 Oh, snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing!
胡萝卜 裸麦粗面包 荧光棒 双胞胎 Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins!
-酷毙了 老兄 -太厉害了 - That's dope, dude. - That's so sick.
好厉害 我们也有兄弟感应 That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too.
-准备好没 -好了 - You ready? - Yeah.
-海盗 婴儿脚 -回形针 香蕉 - Pirates! Baby feet! - Paper clips! Bananas!
-太阳 恼火 -不知道 单词 - Sun! Anger! - I don't know! Words!
-流沙 -鞋子 - Quicksand! - Shoes!
这是说唱 伙计 真棒 That's hip-hop, man. Awesome.
好极了 That's great.
肯定会超有趣 It's gonna be super fun.
就跟上次一样 All right? Same as last time.
老兄 如果跟上次一样 Dude, if it's like last time,
你是能吃上肉 我连汤都没得喝 you're gonna have an awesome time, and it's gonna suck for me.
不 你也能吃上肉的 No. You're gonna have an awesome time, too,
因为我会保证你可以 because I'm gonna make sure of it.
你可是为我挡了子弹的 You took a bullet for me.
没错 虽然超痛不过有必要我还是会做 That's right, I did, and it sucked, but I'd do it again.
不 这次轮到我了 我欠你一条命 No way. It's my turn. I owe you a life debt.
男女共用浴室 Co-ed bathrooms.
不是吧 该死 What? Oh, shit.
我住在这里期间 I'm not gonna take a shit
绝对不拉屎 the entire time I'm here.
我知道 I know.
-你好 -你好吗 - Hey. - How you doing?
你们好 Hey.
-最近如何 -你呢 - What's up? - 'Sup?
设计脸书之类的时髦社交网站 Just exhausted from inventing Facebook or whatever website
真是累死我了 people our age use.
他们居然还有纸质书 They still have books?
我以为他们早就把书全都放进电脑了 I thought they just put the books inside the computers.
估计是为了能让小屁孩躲在书堆后干炮吧 Yeah, I guess the kids just use the stacks to hide and have sex.
所以我们要参加所有辛西娅的课和活动 So we'll go to all Cynthia's classes and activities,
问出关于毒品的事 ask around about the drug
找出谁是卖家 and find out who the dealer is.
对 就跟上次一样 Yeah, it's just like last time.
跟上次一模一样 Exactly like last time.
哥们儿 人类性学这门课 Dude, in human sexuality,
你是能亲自上阵 do you get to fuck
还是只能看别人干炮啊 or do you just get to watch people fuck?
都不是 Neither.
那我干毛要上这节课啊 What the fuck am I taking it for, then?
辛西娅·华生课程及课外活动列表
心理101 - 心理学介绍 辛西娅·华生课程及课外活动列表
历史135 - 统治的问题 心理101 - 心理学介绍 辛西娅·华生课程及课外活动列表
显然 我们都听过这个说法 Now, obviously, we've all heard this statement before,
第一印象很重要 first impressions are important.
我要给你们一个第一印象 I've got a first impression for you.
你们都喜欢心理学吗 Oh, y'all like psychology?
崔西·摩根[黑人喜剧演员] Tracy Morgan.
没人喜欢吗 Nobody?
学的好玩的爽 对吧 Work hard, play hard, am I right?
你是想要歪飞吗 You looking for some whyphy?
是啊 能来点肯定爽爆了 Yeah, man, that'd be sick.
直接去警察局 Go to the police station,
让你们头儿领你去物证室看看 walk in and ask your captain to see the evidence room
你他妈就是个缉毒警察 'cause you're a fucking narc.
我觉得你弄错了 I think you're mistaken.
你就差没把警徽别身上了 You're literally wearing your badge.
你刚刚是在低头看 Did you really just check to see
自己有没有戴警徽吗 if you were wearing your badge?
这家伙是个他妈的条子 This guy's a fucking cop.
我才没有低头看 I didn't look down.
"开麦之夜"诗歌朗诵社团 历史135 - 统治的问题 心理101 - 心理学介绍 辛西娅·华生课程及课外活动列表
"等等 雅各布斯教授 "Wait, Professor Jacobs,
历史不是在很久之前发生的吗" doesn't history happen a long time ago?"
历史发生在... Well, history happens...
这门课烂透了 This class is such a gut.
你们玩橄榄球吗 Hey, you guys play football?
这其实是我的笔记本电脑 No, this is actually my laptop.
对 我正在记笔记呢 Yeah, I'm taking notes right now.
我开玩笑的 这就是个橄榄球 I'm kidding. It's a football.
麦奎德先生 Mr. Mcquaid?
共价键 Covalent bonds.
"向毒品宣战"行动的结果是什么 What has been the result of the war on drugs?
你为什么问我 我又不是警察 Why would you ask me? I'm not a cop.
因为这是一门大学研讨会 Because this is a college seminar,
大学的研讨会就是这么进行的 and that's how college seminars work.
教授跟学生进行活跃地讨论 Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student.
摩擦产生火花 这样才能学进去 Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned.
现在弄毒品难多了 Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs.
我可以悄悄告诉你们 I can personally tell you that.
可卡因的平均价格 The average price of cocaine
在过去30年间跌了70% has dropped 70 % in the last 30 years.
那你的卖家给你的货里 Then your dealer's probably
估计掺了很多垃圾 selling you some pretty stepped-on shit.
麦奎德先生 大学是个很棒的地方 Mr. Mcquaid, college is a wonderful place.
你将在这里找到真实的自己 This is where you get to decide who you actually are,
而不是你现在 instead of the person that
装成的样子 you're clearly pretending to be right now,
其实所有人都看得出来 which everyone sees through, by the way.
你必须选择 "是继续做一样的事 You got to decide, "Do I just keep doing the same thing,
还是选择一条不同的路 or am I gonna choose a different path
追寻自己的信念" and question my convictions?"
我本来就没有什么信念 I don't have any prior convictions.
你为什么要说这个 Why are you saying this stuff?
我要的就是这个答案 麦奎德先生 That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr. Mcquaid!
我希望你质疑我说的话 I want you to question what I'm saying.
这就是这门课的基础 This is the basis of this whole course,
也正是大学的美丽之处 and that's the beauty of college.
你想说什么都可以 You can say whatever you want.
你想做什么都可以 You can be whatever you want.
我拿到了终身教职 我想说什么都可以 I mean, I have tenure. I can really say whatever I want.
乔治·华盛顿是个黑鬼拉拉 George Washington was a black lesbian.
埃菲尔铁塔是假阳具堆起来的 The Eiffel Tower is made of dildos.
他们没法儿炒我 我是不可战胜的 They can't fire me. I'm indestructible.
我睡了两个学生 I'm sleeping with two of my students.
她和她 我还真睡了 Her and her. I actually am.
就像你之前做的 Now, just like you did before,
我现在想让你畅所欲言 I want you right now to say whatever you want.
说什么都可以 Say whatever you want.
肥爷托 Fieto.
"肥爷托" 虽然不是个词 但我接受 "Fieto", not a word, but I'm gonna accept it.
你的人生你做主 麦奎德先生 You can do whatever you want with your life, Mr. Mcquaid.
你唯一可能挂掉这门课的原因 The only way you can fail this class
就是掩盖本性 is by not becoming who you truly are.
拜托回我的短信 Please respond to my text.
"开麦之夜"诗歌朗诵社团 历史135 - 统治的问题 图书馆 - 兼职
学生会 "开麦之夜"诗歌朗诵社团 历史135 - 统治的问题 图书馆 - 兼职
学生会
现在还够时间做一个暖场游戏 Okay, we got time for just one more improv game. 学生会
这个游戏我们需要集思广益 For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions.
我们需要各位 So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank
为我们给出的句子填空 in a sentence that we're gonna set up.
就像这样 我好饿 我希望有一个 So it'll go like this. Oh, I'm so hungry, I wish I had a...
-卫生棉条 -好吧 可是我们想要 - Tampon! - Okay, but we want...
我们想要真正的食物 We want it to be actual food
这样游戏才能说得通 so that it, like, makes sense with the game.
才会更好玩 我们再试一次 It's more fun that way. So, uh, let's try it one more time.
我得赶紧回家 这样就能喂饱我的... Oh, I've got to get home so I can feed my...
大屌 Boner!
还是我们自己玩吧 You know what? Let's just play the game, okay?
好了 你会... All right, so what would you...
那个女孩在我的心理学班上 Hey, that girl's in my psych class.
干 她真辣 去跟她聊聊 Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her.
你跟我一起找她聊天吧 You come talk to her with me.
别扭扭捏捏的 跟她聊天去 快去 Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go.
好了 好了 All right, all right.
下面有请 Coming to the stage, we got...
杰骨 江湖人称... J. Bones, aka...
-你好 -你好 - Hey. - Hi.
我们心理学好像一个班 I think we're in the same psych class.
是哦 你好 Oh, yeah. Hi.
是啊 Yeah.
药 药 账单 药 Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills!
账单 时间的韵脚修饰了 Bills! A sign of the times that rhymes
阿曼达·拜恩斯 Amanda Bynes
放下衣衫褴褛的安迪马戏团 Drop that raggedy Andy circus
来开无遮大会 Circle jerkus...
-你们就是刚刚暖场的那些对吧 -是 - You guys are the improv guys, right? - Yeah.
好酷哦 That's cool.
你就是那个乱接话的家伙 You're the guy with the terrible suggestions.
对 不用谢 Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. Yeah.
多谢各位 下一位出场的是J女士 Thanks, guys. Um, Lady J is gonna be up next for you.
辛西娅 死掉的那个女孩 Cynthia, that girl who died,
她以前经常来对吗 she used to come here all the time, right?
这首诗名叫"乳晕" This piece is called "areolas".
你认识她吗 Did you know her?
认识 她就住在我对门 Yeah, she lived across the hall from me.
-是吗 -你怎么这么关心这个 - Yeah? - So why do you care so much?
我 我在写一首 I'm... I'm writing a...
男人贪婪的手 Greedy man hands!
纪念她的诗 a slam poem in her honor.
刚开头 刚刚开始构思 Early stages, very early stages.
-是吗 -是啊 - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah.
你们提前做好计划 Wouldn't it be better just to,
不是更好吗 like, plan the stuff out ahead of time,
免得在大家面前弄这么尴尬 and then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself?
本来就是这样的 这是互动喜剧 That's a thing that people do. That's stand-up comedy.
你们确实应该搞那个 That's probably what you should do,
那个特搞笑 because that stuff's funny.
我棕色的乳头在哺乳期分泌白色的乳汁 My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation...
你觉得这个怎么样 What do you think of this?
我觉得挺有气势的 I actually think it's really powerful.
你这么说真棒 That's cool that you said that,
因为其实我也觉得很有气势 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too,
一个女孩谈论她的乳头之类的 when the one girl was talking about her nips and shit.
有谁愿意上来分享自己的作品吗 Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share?
去展示一下吧 Let's see what you got.
观众里还有诗人吗 Any more poets in the audience?
我说 你真的会写诗吗 I... I mean, do you really do poetry?
我会 我会写的 I do, and I will.
-这里有一位 -啥 - I got somebody. - What?
有人要展示 大家鼓掌 Okay, we got somebody. All right, give it up, guys.
-去吧 -好吧 - Yeah! - Okay.
-快上去 -好吧 - Just go up there. - All right, okay.
-好吧 -别紧张 - Okay. - No pressure.
听好了 很棒的 You'll see, it's good. Yeah!
这首诗我还在构思 This is a work in progress.
所以... So, uh...
诗作 Slam poetry!
嘶吼 Yelling!
愤怒 Angry!
不停挥手 Waving my hands a lot!
独特的视角 Specific point of view on things
辛西娅 Cynthia!
信息呀 Cyn-thi-a
上帝因我们的罪死去 Jesus died for our sin-thee-uhs
耶稣哭泣 Jesus cried
落跑新娘 Runaway bride
朱莉亚·罗伯茨 Julia Roberts!
朱莉亚 抢夺 Julia rob
受伤 Hurts
辛西娅 Cynthia!
辛西娅 Cynthia
你死了你已经死了 You're dead you are dead
你已经死了 You're dead
献给辛西娅 她死了 that's for Cynthia, who's dead.
心理101 - 心理学介绍 历史135 - 统治的问题 开麦之夜"诗歌朗诵社团
图书馆 - 兼职 性别研究220 - 人类性学
我一点头绪都没有 I don't have a single lead.
我有 我听说校园里24小时提供歪飞 I do. I hear you can get whyphy on campus anywhere 24/7.
你觉得他们说的是毒品那个歪飞 Do you think they mean whyphy the drug
还是无线网络那个wi-fi or wi-fi like the Internet?
啥 What...
操 我个脑残 Fuck you, brain.
我们第一次怎么那么容易找到毒贩的 How did we find the dealers so easy the first time?
他的电话就写在便签纸上 Well, his number was literally on a sticker.
我们去找到这个家伙的便签纸 Well, let's go find this guy's sticker.
我不觉得这家伙用便签纸 I don't think this guy does stickers.
我们需要帮助 需要咨询专家 Well, we need help. We need to consult an expert.
哥们儿 你正中他的老二 Yo, dude, you shot him in the dick, dude.
我正中他的老二 I got him in the dick. Yep.
"正中他的老二" "Shot him in the dick."
《特纳和霍奇》又名《神探与福星》 一人一狗的探案电影 这不是真人版《特纳和霍奇》吗 If it isn't Turner and Hooch, in the flesh.
我的天啊 你身材真棒 Holy shit, you are looking fit.
你得跟他学学 Hey, you should get some tips from this guy.
他看起来超棒 瞧瞧他的胸肌 He's looking good. Look at those pectoral muscles.
我就想你变成这样 That's the kind of definition I want out of you, man.
-近来如何 艾瑞克 -你好 - What's up, Eric? - Hey.
沃特斯先生 我们要... Mr. Walters, we should, um...
我要向你道歉 or I should apologize for, uh...
因为你射掉了我的鸡鸡吗 For shooting my penis off?
-是啊 -是啊 - Yeah. - Yeah.
别担心 哥们儿 我已经完全放下了 Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally.
你知道他们帮我做了个阴道吗 You know they gave me a vagina?
超棒的 你们想看吗 It's awesome. You guys want to see it?
-不不不 -不不不 - No, no, no, no! - No, no, no.
好吧 没事儿 艾瑞克看过 That's fine. All right. Eric's seen it.
艾瑞克在里面爽翻了 对吧 艾瑞克 Eric's been all up in that shit. Isn't that right, Eric?
求你们赶紧他妈的把我弄出去 You guys got to get me the fuck out of here.
你们知道不 Hey, guess what.
我是艾瑞克的婊子 I'm Eric's bitch.
你不是 No, you're not.
我就是 Yes! I am!
我是你的婊子 I'm your bitch.
天啊 真对不起 宝贝 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey.
我不是这个意思 你知道的对吧 I didn't mean that. You know that, right?
大姨妈光临的时候我简直太矫情了 I am such a bitch when aunt flo shows up.
流超多血的 太可怕了 It bleeds so much, it's crazy.
就跟《闪灵》里打开的电梯门一样 It's like the elevator doors opening in the Shining.
你的阴道根本不能用好吗 Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man.
你昨晚用得挺爽的 Worked for you last night.
你明显是强迫艾瑞克跟你在一起的 You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship.
艾瑞克 我强迫你了吗 Eric, am I forcing you into anything?
-是 -看到没 - Yes. - See?
听着 我们被派到大学做卧底 Look, they sent us in undercover at a college
要找出一种新型毒品的毒贩 to find the dealer of this new synthetic,
可没人愿意告诉我们任何事 and no one will tell us anything.
因为你们他妈的看起来像缉毒警察 That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right?
大学生不像艾瑞克这么蠢 College kids aren't dumb like Eric.
我本来要去伯克利的 I was supposed to go to Berkeley.
他们给了张照片 我们有这个 Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that.
那就是你们的线索啊 蠢货 Well, that's your lead, motherfucker!
就从这个开始啊 That's what you start with.
我知道 可看不见脸就不知道是谁啊 I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is.
"我们不知道是谁" "We don't know who it is."
"我是施密特 我的裤子里都是屎" "I'm Schmidt. My pants are filled with doody."
那就是你 That's you.
听起来一点都不像我 That doesn't sound anything like me.
你听起来挺像的 You sort of sound like that.
听起来一点都不像我 That doesn't sound anything like me.
"听起来一点都不像我" "That doesn't sound anything like me."
不是不像你 It's not not you.
艾瑞克 闭上眼睛告诉我谁在说话 Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now.
犯贱的施密特小婊砸 That's schmidt being a little bitch.
模仿地一点都不好 That's just not a good impression.
真是棒 超级警探们 Nice job, super sleuths.
你有认真看过这破照片吗 Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture?
怎么了 Yeah.
这里反射出来了 There's a reflection right here.
这混球有纹身 Your fucking guy's got a tattoo.
找到纹身就找到卖家了 Find the tattoo, find the dealer.
我去 我不知道 Fuck, man, I don't know.
我给不少喝高了的小屁孩纹过傻逼纹身 I do a lot of stupid tattoos to drunk kids.
你还记得这个傻逼纹身吗 Do you remember that stupid tattoo?
火箭炮吗 A bazooka?
我好像给一个橄榄球队员纹了这个 Think I might have did it on a football player.
好像留着红色莫西干头 我不记得了 Guy with a red mohawk. I don't know.
他们在我眼里长得都一样 They all start to look the same to me.
我知道你说的是谁了 I think I know exactly who he's talking about.
去你的 Fuck you!
去你妈的 你个新来的蠢货 Fuck you, you little walk-on fuck!
穿着这身东西我都动不了了 I can't, like, move around in these things.
天啊 我喜欢社团体验日 God, I love walk-on day!
我操 Fuck, yeah.
这种时候掏耳朵是不是太诡异了 That's a weird time to be q-tipping.
你们这群娘炮们 You're all fucking pussies!
-哥们 你不用这么做的 -什么 - Dude, you don't have to do this. - What?
-我不想你受伤 -我不会受... - I just don't want you to get hurt. - I'm not gonna get...
该死 Shit.
老兄 真对不起 Dude, I am so sorry.
没事 不用担心 哥们儿 It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man.
你确定吗 好吧 Are you sure? All right... Yeah. Ow.
-该死 -我来吧 - Shit. - I got it.
好 我来吧 我来吧 Okay, I got it, I got it.
没事 Ow! That's fine.
-我来捡 -不不 让我来让我来 - I'll get it. - No, no, let me get it, let me get it.
-不 让我来捡吧 -不 我来捡 - No, I got it. Let me just get it. - No, let me get it.
我来 我来 I got it, I got it. Let's just...
不好意思 我的棉签掉进你的肉里了 Dude, I'm sorry. I got my q-tip in your meat, bro.
不 是我的肉掉进你的棉签里了 No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your q-tip.
这是一种新型三明治 It's like a whole new type of sandwich.
肉夹棉签口味 Like, a meat q-tip.
肉棉签口味 Like a meat-qute.
真搞笑 That's funny.
你们想来点这个三明治吗 Hey, you guys want some of this sandwich?
肉棉签三明治哦 It's a meat-qute sandwich.
我跟这家伙做了个肉棉签三明治 Me and this guy are having a meat-qute.
你太搞笑了 哥们儿 你叫啥 You're hilarious, dude. What's your name?
布拉德 等等 布拉德 Brad. Wait... Brad.
没错 是叫布拉德 Uh, yeah, yeah, it's Brad.
-我叫祖克 -很高兴认识你 祖克 - I'm Zook. - Nice to meet you. Zook.
我也很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you, too, man.
蓝二十阵型 Blue 20!
准备 开始 Set, hut!
你现在喜欢社团体验日了吧 You love walk-on day now?
你手臂没事吧 要把袖子卷起来吗 Your arm all right? You want to take that sleeve off?
不 我没事 No, I'm good.
天啊 接得真他妈漂亮 老兄 Dude, holy shit, bro. Great fucking catch, dude.
只要你看到后卫离得远了 赶紧传给我 If you see that safety line up that deep, though, hit me quicker.
我都不知道你跑得这么快 哥们儿 Oh, yeah, I didn't know you had wheels like that, bro.
真好笑 因为他是我兄弟 所以 It's funny, 'cause he's my brother. So...
我们会在泽塔兄弟会搞派对 Hey, uh, you know, we have this rush party at Zeta.
我觉得你该来玩玩 认识点人 But I thought, you know, you could come by and meet the guys.
应该会很有意思的 It'd be really fun, I think.
-好 -我们可能会去的 - Great. - Yeah, maybe we will.
你们俩 是在一起吗 Are you guys, like, together?
-是啊 -这是我哥们儿 - Yeah. - Yeah, this is my bro.
真搞笑 哥们儿 你太搞笑了 That's... funny, dude. You're funny.
真的吗 好吧 Uh, really? Wow. Um, okay.
当然 你也是 你也可以来 Yeah, man, sure. You, too, you can come, too.
我们尽量 We'll see what we can do.
我刚刚说了一堆话 Also, I said a bunch of stuff earlier
你完全无视了我 that you didn't acknowledge...
接得漂亮 Great catch. Cool.
-到时见 -你不解释一下吗 - See you then. - So you won't address that?
那家伙到底在搞什么鬼 What the fuck's up with that guy?
我们现在要做的就是在兄弟会待着 All we have to do now is rush the frat long enough
确认那个公鸡头有没有火箭炮纹身 to confirm that Rooster has that bazooka tattoo.
哥们儿 你觉得你来好吗 Look, man, do you think it's cool if you come?
毕竟他其实只邀请了我一个 'Cause, I mean, he kind of really just asked me.
我不想一开始 I just don't want to start off
就跟他把关系搞砸了 on the wrong foot with this guy.
你这就不对了 我们干什么都一起 Dude, you're tripping. We do everything together.
贝壳项链还是别戴了 You should lose the puka shells, though.
你没上过大学不知道情况 Things are different since you didn't go to college.
布拉德 你好呀 Yo, Brad! What's up, dude?
我也有一样的贝壳项链 Same puka, dude.
你戴了一样的贝壳项链 You got the same... puka bros.
我操 Holy shit!
看看 连衣服都一样 Look at him, it's, like, all the same.
老兄 你也穿裤子吗 Dude, you wear pants, too?
-什么 兄弟 伙计 -老兄 - What? Bros, man. - Dude.
我就知道我们之间会有联系 就像这样 I knew we were gonna be connected, just like that.
你们干嘛不直接把鸡鸡绑在一起 Yeah, why don't you guys just tie your dicks together
然后结婚算了 and get married, right?
-公鸡 -怎么样啊老兄 - Rooster. - What's up, bro?
你看上去不错 兄弟 You look good, man.
最近如何 公鸡 What's up, Rooster?
-你好啊 -贝壳项链不错 - How you doing, man? - Digging the puka.
多谢兄弟 不敢相信都一样... Thanks, dude. I can't believe it's the same...
你好啊 公鸡 How you doing, Rooster?
公鸡去拿饮料了 Rooster is getting some pop.
你干嘛不去看看他 Why don't you go check him out?
-嗨起来了吗 老兄 -当然啦 - You in the zone, bro? - In the fucking zone, dude.
嗨 你好啊 Hey. What's up?
好啊 我是公鸡 What's up? I'm Rooster.
好吧 不是 Oh, yeah, no.
我们之前见过了 We've met before.
真的吗 我完全没印象 Oh, really? I don't remember that at all.
一定是你的长相太普通了 You must just have a really plain face.
我的外号是大众脸 Yeah. They call me ol' plain face.
他们给你起这种外号 They call you that?
你有什么人体艺术或绘画作品给我欣赏吗 So, do you have any body art or, like, any ink I could see?
问题太突然了吧 That's a pretty random question.
不管怎样 和你聊天很开心 Hey, anyway, it was so nice chatting with you, man.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you, man.
干什么 老兄 Yo, what the fuck, bro?
伙计 你想干什么 Yo, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
-你搞笑呢吧 -你 - You serious right now? - You...
你真是太奇怪了 You're being weird.
你很奇怪 You've been weird.
就好像 "我在听什么" It was just like, "What am I hearing?
"我到底在听什么"这种感觉 "What am I hearing right now?"
灵媒这么跟你说的 And the psychic told you that?
太疯狂了 老兄 That is so crazy, dude.
老兄 想去屋顶看看吗 Hey, dude, you want to go see the roof?
当然想 我太想去了 Fuck yeah, I want to see the roof, dude.
快点 走吧走吧 Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on.
去屋顶 去屋顶 快走 Come on to the roof, come on to the roof. Let's go.
快点 你可以的 快快快 Come on, you can do it. Come on, come on, come on!
太怀念爬墙了 快走吧 I miss climbing so much. Come on, let's go. Come on.
好吧 All right, uh...
再来一次 One more time.
我还是回家吧 I'm just gonna go home.
我不会跑酷 I don't know parkour, so...
好吧 All right.
嗨 马娅·安杰卢[美国诗人] Hey, Maya Angelou!
诗歌是吧 我懂了 Poetry, okay. I got it.
开诗歌专业的玩笑 Make fun of the poetry major.
那我猜 你没兴趣 So, I guess you have no interest
在将来做一份实际的工作 in having a real job in the future.
-当然没兴趣 -是吧 - Absolutely not. - No, right?
你呢 What about you?
我学的是艺术类专业 Um, I'm an art major.
好吧 那你还敢吐我槽 因为 Okay. So you definitely cannot talk any shit, 'cause...
不敢不敢 No, I can't. I cannot.
你永远都挣不到钱 You're never gonna make any money.
我也没打算挣钱 I'm never gonna make any money,
别把这话告诉我父母 so don't tell my parents, but...
今晚我和你爸妈聊天的时候 When I talk to your parents tonight,
我不会告诉他们你学了什么专业 I will not tell them about your major.
-好的 谢谢 -不客气 - Okay, thank you. - You're welcome.
好吧 艺术专业 All right, art major.
你觉得这个怎么样 What do you think about that?
我会说 Um, I would say that
这两个物体 it's these two beings
互相依靠 能够达到绝妙平衡 leaning up against each other in perfect balance.
即便有一个倒了 它们也只会失去彼此 If one were to fall, they would just lose each other.
主题是关于支持 So it's just about support.
你就不能承认这看上去像蛋蛋吗 You can't admit that it looks exactly like testicles?
看上去的确像蛋蛋 That's exactly what it looks like.
那有人支持你吗 So, is there someone who supports you?
没有 我是那种 No, I'm just one of those people
内向的 喜欢独处的人 that really likes to spend time with myself.
和我一样 Tell me about it.
我超爱独处 我擅长独处 I love to be alone. I am, like, the best at it.
我喜欢这种感觉 你坐在屋子里 I just love when you're sitting there in a room,
沉浸在自我的思想里 and you're just there with your thoughts,
你会想 "天哪 我居然独自一人" and you're like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm alone.
"会有人爱我吗" 这样的 "Would anyone ever love me?" or whatever.
或者是 "我有没有认识的人 And, like, "Do I know anyone who would care
会在乎我会不会出这个房门" if I just ever came out of this room or not?"
或者是 像... Or whatever and, like...
我也不知道 很平心静气 我喜欢 I don't know. It's just peaceful. I just like it.
是的 Yeah.
如果你今晚不想独自一个人 Well, if you don't want to be alone tonight,
我们会在艺术楼那边消遣一下 we are gonna go hang out at the art building,
想来就来吧 if you want to come.
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
好吧 好吧 Okay. Okay.
我以为今晚会和我预期的不一样 I expected tonight would go in a way that you wouldn't expect,
但我没想到今晚 but what I didn't expect was tonight would go
会跟我预想中的一模一样 in the exact way that you would expect.
-你懂我的意思吧 -当然 - You know what I mean? - Totally.
你们常来这里玩么 So you guys hang out here a lot?
对 但我们不搞兄弟会那一套 Yeah. I mean, we're not into the whole frat party kind of stuff.
我们喜欢坐在一起 喝几瓶好酒 We like to sit around, just drink some good wine
谈论要事 and talk about some important stuff.
比如说打炮和虚度光阴什么的 Banging bitches and getting wasted all fucking day.
这是我最喜欢的两件事 Those are, like, two of my favorite things to do.
你像是不太吸引人的 You are, like, a slightly less attractive version of...
-毕加索 -对 毕加索 - Picasso? - Picasso.
是吧 之前就有人跟我这么说过 Right? I've been told that before.
你太懂我了 You read my mind.
什么 What?
那是辛西娅·华生的房间 Oh, that's Cynthia Watson's room.
才两点 我以为很晚了 你要进来吗 It's only 2:00. I thought it was late. Do you want to come in?
才两点 我一般两点才吃晚饭 It's only 2:00? I usually go to dinner at, like, 2:00 A.M., so...
好呀 何乐而不为呢 Sure, yeah, why not?
我要开始了 撞地角度要对 I'm gonna do it. I just got to get it at the right angle.
-别闹啦 -傻逼门柱 - Dude, stop. - Stupid fucking goalpost!
没用的 你撞不倒门柱的 It's impossible. You can't fucking do it.
狂热的球迷在赢得比赛后 The fans used to rush the field
会冲进场地撞倒门柱 after every win and tear down the goalposts,
教练讨厌他们这样 就加固了门柱 and coach hated it. And so he cemented them in.
球迷们又一拥而上 试图撞倒门柱 They storm the field, and still do it,
但他们都会被弹回去 but they just bounce around.
去他的门柱 老兄 Fuck this goalpost, bro!
你们可要抓稳了 You guys might want to hold on,
因为它快要倒了 'cause this shit is coming down.
那是什么 那个纹身代表什么 Yo, what is that? The tattoo, what's that right there?
这个么 Oh. Oh, this? Mmm-hmm.
高中校队标志 普莱恩维尤红鲱鱼队 It's my old high school team. The Plainview Red Herrings.
看它游泳的样子 Look at it swim.
-该死 -怎么了 - Shit. - What?
这是一个不同寻常的 Shit, that's a really outside-of-the-box
高中吉祥物 high school mascot.
抓紧了伙计们 Hold on, guys.
你今天怎么没来练习 Hey, why don't you come to practice today?
我是说 你的实力完全可以进校队 I mean, you're obviously good enough to play on the team.
听着 我来这不是为了玩橄榄球 Look, I'm not supposed to be here to play football.
什么意思 What?
我就是来这里完成任务 I'm just here to do my assignments
然后就走 其他一概不管 and get out, that's it.
学业很重要 但不管怎样 I mean, yeah, school's important or whatever,
但我给你传球的时候 but when I was throwing you those passes,
感觉在你行动前我就知道你将跑什么位 it was like I knew where you were gonna be before you went there.
我有这种幻象 You know, I had this, like, vision of me
我将球扔向你 老兄 throwing bullet tds to you, dude,
然后所有球迷就开始疯狂欢呼 and then all these fans just started going, like...
"祖克 麦奎德 祖克 麦奎德" "Zook! Mcquaid! Zook! Mcquaid!"
他们不断这样地喊 And they were chanting and chanting,
之后门柱就倒了 and then the goalposts came down.
老兄 Dude?
我也一直看到那个幻象 I have had that exact vision, like, my entire life.
-兄弟 -兄弟 - Dude. - Dude.
-还是伙计 -伙计 - Bro? - Bro.
-兄弟 -伙计 - Dude. - Bro.
老兄 Dude.
我们一定可以的 老兄 Like, well, we fucking can, bro.
你只需加入球队就行了 All you gotta do is join the team.
好吧 为何不呢 Yeah. Why not?
太棒了 Yes!
-太好了 兄弟 -太好了 兄弟 - Fuck yeah, dude. - Fuck yeah, dude.
那是什么 What's that?
我的纹身 My tattoo.
哈哈 看 Yeah, fuck, look.
这是我 祖克 Look, it's me, Zook.
我胳膊上有火箭炮 你懂我的意思吗 Got a fucking bazooka for an arm. Know what I mean?
我太激动了 Dude, I'm so fucking pumped.
你居然要加入校队了 老兄 You're gonna be on this fucking team, bro.
是的 Yep.
怎么了 What's up with it?
你怎么样 How you doing?
你好 挺好的 Hi. Good.
那个... How was the, um...
滚床单感觉如何 How was the sex for you?
我觉得不错 我很享受 It was fun for me. It was a good time.
对 是啊 Yeah, right.
我乐在其中 I enjoyed it.
对的 Yeah.
所以我才不喝酒 This is why I don't drink.
嗨 你好 Hey. How you doing?
我很好 I'm fine.
我没有听你们整晚干炮的声音 I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long.
真是令人奋进且鼓舞人心 Thrusting and pumping.
有一阵我以为你屁股弹出来了 I thought your hip popped out at one point.
我是说 听上去乐趣无穷 I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games,
一醒来发现旁边睡着个四十岁的大一新生 and then you wake up in bed next to a 40-year-old freshman.
我才十九岁 所以 I'm 19, so...
你是想说你去参加公园牌友聚会 Nineteen minutes late to pinochle,
晚了十九分钟吗 where you're meeting your old friends in the park?
我就是这个意思 Yeah, that's what I meant.
天哪 玛娅 看看他 Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him.
这么大年纪精神还挺好 真让人感动 He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring.
跟我们讲讲战争 哪一个都行 Tell us about the war, any one of them.
你是我见过高潮叫最大声的人 You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard.
像一个闷了三十年的洒水车 It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30-year-old sprinkler
终于第一次洒出水一样 finally going off for the first time.
和你聊天真开心 Okay, well, so lovely talking with you.
你是个很可爱的人 You're a lovely person. Hmm.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
天哪 Oh, my God.
她看上去很不错 She seems nice.
她太可怕了 She's horrible.
天哪 God.
她是辛西娅的室友 She was Cynthia's roommate,
我挺可怜她 就说她可以搬来跟我住 and I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her.
所以 So...
所以你今天应该 So you probably have a bunch of stuff
有一大堆事情要做吧 that you have to do today.
-对吧 -没有 - Right? - No.
好吧 Oh. Okay.
我只是想让你知道 Look, I just want you to know
我不是那种"拍拍屁股就走人"的人 I'm not, like, a "Hit it and quit it" type of fella.
我是"拍了之后 I'm, like, a "Hit it,
还是会继续维持 continue to hit it both
身体和情感关系"的那种人 physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so...
道格 你不会大题小做吧 Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be weird about this, are you?
不会 No.
我是说 只是肉体关系你能接受吧 I mean, you're cool with just hooking up?
能 不能 我很高兴你先说了 Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something.
因为我都不知道我清醒的时候喜不喜欢你 'Cause I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober.
对 我知道 就好像 No, I know, and it's like,
你刚说的一点都不伤我心 that doesn't even hurt, like, at all.
好吧 那我就 Okay, so, um...
我先走了 之后给你发短信 I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later.
好的 做得很爽 你床技不错 Great, that was great sex. You're good at it.
三五分钟后给你发短信 And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something?
好的 All right.
这他妈是什么 What the fuck is this?
扯淡呢 This is bullshit.
你们俩是不是又在学校混日子 Are you two fucking around at school again?
我们要为这个付钱的 Hey, we got to pay for this shit.
-我们需要结果 -不不不 - We need results! - No, no, no.
我们正在积极寻找 Look, we are looking aggressively
一种特殊的纹身 for this very specific tattoo.
纹身的事也可能是死胡同 Or the tattoo could just be a dead end.
怎么回事 同样的案子 What the fuck? It's the same case!
做同样的事 Do the same thing.
不是同一个案子 因为 Well, it's not exactly the same case, 'cause
我们中昨天有个人打炮了 one of us got laid last night.
施密特吗 Schmidt?
别出声 Shh.
别唤醒我的老二 Don't wake up my dick.
它还在坐红眼航班打盹呢 Flew in on the red-eye, hasn't gotten a wink of sleep.
该死 Damn.
做得可狂野了 有传教士体位 We're talking missionary.
还有传教士体位 We're talking missionary.
还有我在上 她仰面躺着的体位 We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back.
她很聪明 她是艺术专业的 She's smart, she's an art major.
她就是个学艺术的 也聪明不到哪去 She can't be that smart. She's a fucking art major.
别这样 Come on.
我要和你击掌 施密特 I will give you some daps, Schmidt.
快他妈的和我击个掌 Give me some motherfucking daps, man!
快 和我击掌 Come on, give me some.
跟我击一下 拜托 Give me some. Come on!
人类性学这门课太惊艳了 My human sexuality class is blowing my mind.
你知道我在高中时嘲笑过同性恋吗 Did you know I used gay slurs in high school?
对 你嘲笑的是我 Yes, directed at me.
老兄 抱歉之前那么恐同 Dude, I am so sorry for being a homophone.
你今天跟迪克森汇报时很奇怪 Are we gonna talk about how weird you were today with Dickson?
我认为这个纹身可能跟你想的不一样 Look, I don't think the tattoo means what you think it means.
人人都可能有这个纹身 I mean, for all we know, a lot of people could have that tattoo.
会有人纹这种蠢到爆的纹身吗 This tattoo? This absurdly specific tattoo?
告诉我谁纹过这样的纹身 Name one other person who has this.
首先 祖克有 For starters, Zook has it.
祖克有这个纹身 Zook has the tattoo?
你怎么回事 我们找纹身找很久了啊 What the fuck? We've been looking for this tattoo for days!
你知道这意味着祖克是毒贩吗 Do you understand this means Zook is the dealer?
我非常希望你们能一起出去玩玩 I really want you guys to hang out.
我们出去过了 但他完全无视我 We have hung out. He's completely ignored me.
抱歉 但我们得调查一下你的新铁哥们 I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to investigate your new BFF.
我们会在四周布好摄像头 We're gonna put cameras everywhere,
监视他的一举一动 and we're gonna monitor the fuck out of what he's doing.
但我们不能直接进到兄弟会的房子里 We can't just walk into zeta house
然后装上一大堆摄像头 对吧 and just put up a bunch of fucking cameras, okay?
到处都是人 There's dudes there everywhere.
对不起 可你的计划太蠢了 All right, your plan is stupid. I'm sorry.
-我的计划蠢 搞笑呢 -好吧 - My plan is stupid? That's interesting. - What... okay.
我觉得 I'm, like, basically done
我也不想一直再看你的这些破事了 fucking watching your shit all the fucking time.
对 我他妈才是最蠢的那个 Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the fucking stupid one. Yeah.
真是太他妈蠢了 Oh, that's really fucking stupid.
兄弟俩意见不一致一定很辛苦 Man, it must be hard being so different.
我们干什么都一样 事情就简单多了 We're exactly the same. It makes everything so much easier.
伙计们 给我们一点空间好吗 Guys, can you just give us some space?
我们很认真地想谈个结果出来 We're really trying to figure something out,
我们需要专心谈话 好吗 and we need to focus, okay?
你的注意力肯定会非常集中的 老兄 You're not gonna have trouble focusing, man.
米饼条里放了歪飞 Yeah, man, those krispie treats got mad whyphy in them.
我们做的够全宿舍的人吃 We made a batch for the whole dorm, man.
我已经吃了六个了 I've eaten six of these.
-那你就会很专心 -很专心 - Then you're gonna be real focused. - Be real focused.
四小时左右 你就会身心舒畅 In about four hours, you're gonna be tripping.
-没事的 -你们会没事的 - You're fine. - You're gonna be all right, man.
谁卖给你们的歪飞 Who sold you whyphy?
没有人卖给我们 Nobody sold it to us.
辛西娅给了我们一堆 Yeah, man, Cynthia gave us a butt load,
作为交换 我们帮她写逻辑学的论文 and in exchange, we wrote her logic paper for her.
-好了 -好了 一会见吧 - All right. - All right, man, we'll see you guys later.
享受美食吧 Enjoy the food.
说不定这是好事 Maybe this is a good thing.
让我们集中注意力 Let's use that focus to
找到进入祖克房子的方法 figure out a way to get into Zook's house.
-你有什么感觉 -没有 你有感觉吗 - You feel anything? - No. Do you feel anything?
没有 但我耐药性很强... No, but I have a super high tolerance for...
我非常专注 I'm so focused.
我也非常专注 I'm so focused, too.
你不用在我上面 You don't have to be on top of me.
不 我就要这样 Yes, I do.
-为什么 -伪装 - Why? - Camouflage.
走吧 Go.
走吧 Let's go.
没门 No fucking way.
好吧 戴恩不行吗 好吧 Okay, so no? Dane? All right.
戴恩不能加入 Out, all right.
-正中红心 -太好了 - Bull's-eye. - Bingo.
这头盔看起来真挫 That helmet looks kind of lame.
你知道怎么样才能不挫吗 You know what's not lame?
安全到达 Safety.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
切割玻璃 I'm cutting glass.
这是激光灯 It's a laser pointer.
-不能切割玻璃 -什么 - It can't cut glass. - What?
一点也不有趣 That's no fun at all.
-我如此专注 -快点开始吧 - I'm so focused. - Let's do this.
再给我一个 我没有摄像头了 Give me another. I don't have any more cameras.
-你不用钻这么多洞 -好吧 - You don't need to drill so many holes. - Yeah, okay.
这个不错 你可以装在这里 Yeah, that one's perfect. Okay, you can do that one.
我没有摄像头了 我说过五遍了 I don't have any more cameras. I've said it five times.
好吧 这是最后的 All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em.
时间会证明祖克就是毒贩子 Time to prove that zook's the dealer.
或者不是 Or not the dealer.
下一个是布拉德·麦奎德 Next up is Brad Mcquaid.
怎么样 好嘞 Right? Yes.
太好了 Yes!
那必须 我是说这家伙 Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's...
真的是超赞 实话实说 The guy's all-time. You guys, let's be honest.
他能用眼珠开啤酒瓶 I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs.
真是太贴心了 That's so sweet of them.
所以布拉德可以加入 So Brad... Brad's in.
-道格·麦奎德 -不 - Uh, Doug Mcquaid. - No!
他是个草包 He's a bag of dicks!
他是布拉德的兄弟 He's Brad's brother.
他是个跟屁虫 He follows him around everywhere,
要布拉德加入就肯定得附带道格 so I doubt we get Brad without Doug.
扯淡 我有女朋友的 That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend.
-这家伙感觉不对 -为什么 - I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude. - Why? Why?
我和他聊过天 I was talking to him for a second.
他是个大嘴巴 He's got a big mouth, okay?
我觉得他肯定会我们的事给搅了 I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us.
看看 你惹的祸 你话太多了 See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much.
不会的 哥们 看他那人畜无害的样子 That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice.
他看着像个30岁的初中生 He looks like a 30-year-old eighth grader.
他不会有问题的 He's gonna be fine.
我只是说说 他太差劲了 I'm just saying, OK? The kid sucks.
想想布拉德 布拉德会加入我们 Okay, and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy.
他会和我们很合拍 He could, like, be a part of our thing.
"合拍" "Our thing"?
安静 我听他们说话呢 淡定点 Yeah. Shh. I'm trying to hear them. Be nice about me.
真他妈的扯淡 This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
靠 Shit.
有人在上面吗 Is somebody up there?
靠 我们得赶紧走 Shit. We got to get out of here.
你锁门了吗 Did you lock the door?
我锁了 我还检查过呢 I did, man. I checked twice.
快 快 Go, go!
我勒个去 Shit.
不 你这么抓狂是因为药劲上来了 No, you're just paranoid because we're about to trip balls.
不 我抓狂是因为我们很危险 No, I'm paranoid because it could be dangerous.
哪里危险 我们跑出来了 No, we're fine. Look, we made it.
跑出来了 没事了 We made it. It's all good.
我擦 Oh, shit!
救命 救命 Help! Help!
怎么回事 What's happening!
什么情况 What the fuck?
我喘不上来气了 I can't breathe.
他们抓到我们了 They made us!
他们会杀了我们 They're gonna kill us!
琴科 Jenko!
你要去哪儿 Where are you going?
幻觉出现了 I think we are tripping.
我擦 这都是什么鬼 简直是个噩梦 Oh, fuck! I'm having a bad trip! We're having a bad trip!
我们是出现了幻觉 不过... I think we are tripping, but...
天啊 这儿真不错 God, isn't this great?
我这边比你那儿吓人多了 My side's so much scarier than yours.
我靠 你的真不怎么样 Oh, shit, your trip sucks.
你应该过来 这边好多了 You should come over here. It's way better.
好 Okay.
不行 这里有东西隔着 It's some kind of weird split screen!
你好啊 小橄榄球 Hello, football.
琴科 琴科 Jenko! Jenko!
我终于有一辆兰博基尼啦 I finally got my Lambo!
嘿 施密特 看啊 Hey, Schmidt, look!
看我 看啊 Look! Look!
我站累了 My legs are tired.
拜托 把音乐停了吧 Help! No more music!
你将永远是一个人 You'll always be alone.
-嘿 琴科 -怎么了 - Hey, Jenko. - What?
你去哪儿 Where are you going?
我去上面待一会 I'm just gonna go up for a little while, okay?
别走 留下 Stay, stay here.
不 我不想留在这儿 No, I don't want to stay here.
我在飞 多神奇 I'm flying. This is amazing.
不 别走 No. God. Don't go!
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
不 No!
别走 别 下来 Stay here! No, no, stop it.
你在拉我 你为什么要拉我下来 You're dragging me down! Why would you drag me down?
-留下来 -我在飞呢 - Please stay! - I'm flying.
留下来 Stay!
醒醒 从车里滚出来 Wake up! Get out of the car! Shit.
都他妈的给我滚出来 出来 Get out of the car! Get on the ground!
给我跪在地上 On your fucking knees!
跪好 Get on your knees!
-你都知道了 是吧 -什么 - You already know, don't you? - What?
有什么要交代的没 Do you have anything to say?
别杀我们 Please don't kill us.
没有要交代的了 If you don't have anything to fucking say,
就他妈的把嘴张开 open your fucking mouth.
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
是伏特加吗 Is that vodka?
欢迎来到泽塔兄弟会 新人们 Welcome to Zeta, pledges!
哦耶 同志们 Yeah, buddy!
新人们 今晚 让我们看看谁是草包 Pledges, tonight, we separate the weak from the strong.
你们谁挺不过今晚 If you don't make it through tonight,
这辈子就别想加入了 you're dead to all of us.
公鸡 Rooster,
点火炬 light the torch!
泽塔万岁 For Zeta!
喝了它 混蛋 喝了它 混蛋 Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
无论如何 你都得挺住 Look, whatever happens tonight, you have to keep up, okay?
我要吐了 I'm gonna throw up.
行了 继续 I know. Shut up. Go.
预备 开始 Ready? Go!
开始了 开始了 Here we go, here we go.
一 二 三 四 五... One, two, three, four, five...
我不行了 我不行了 I can't do it anymore! I can't do it anymore!
记录是20秒 Twenty's the record!
33 34... 33, 34...
67... 67...
你能行的 你能行的 You can do this, you can do this.
不行 太恶心了 I can't. This is disgusting.
-你必须得做 -这个真不行 - No, you got to. - I can't do this anymore!
现在 我最喜欢的环节来了 And now, for my favorite event.
我擦 我不玩了 Fuck this. I'm not doing this.
-我不玩了 -怎么回事 别走 - I'm not doing it. - What are... no!
我不玩了还不行吗 I'm not doing this, okay? All right?
嘿 Hey!
-施密特 -怎么了 - Schmidt! - What the fuck, man?
你怎么回事 不是你说想一起行动的吗 What is your problem? You said you wanted to stick together.
只有这样才能赢得他们的信任 This is what we have to do to win their trust.
无非就是大家玩一玩 This is supposed to be fun.
喝点酒 认识认识 It's just drinking and bonding games.
挺有意思的 It's fun.
对你来说有意思 对我可不是 It's fun for you. It's not fun for me.
我在想 也许我们应该... I don't know. Maybe we should just...
也许我们应该分开调查 Maybe we should just investigate different people.
你说什么 Did you really just say that?
你是在说 Did you really just say
你想分开调查吗 that you want to investigate other people?
你确定 That's what you want?
我不知道 是吧 I don't know, maybe.
也许我们应该...应该扩大范围 Maybe we should just... We should just branch out.
放开了去干 We should just sow our oats a little.
放开手脚去调查 Sow our cop oats.
祖克现在挺信任我 Look, I have an in with Zook.
我们混得不错 We have a thing and it's good, and...
我想 也许我该负责盯他 I don't know, maybe I should just stay closer to him.
而你负责盯你那边 And you should do your thing
通过那个辛西娅的室友 with your connections and channels
打探打探消息 with Cynthia's roommate.
你可以看看她知不知道是谁卖的毒品 You should see if she knows who sold her drugs.
我只是...我只是不... I just... I just don't...
不希望我们分开行动 I don't like the idea of us doing stuff separately.
其实我们还有机会 No, look, we can still investigate
一起调查 together.
只不过 我想把思路放开点 It's just, you know, now it'll be an open thing.
你想放开思路调查 You want an open investigation?
我也没有明确的想法 I don't know if that's what I want.
我只是觉得 尝试一下也没坏处 All right? I just think it's healthy right now for us to try it.
好吧 Okay.
-好吗 -好的 - Yeah? - Sure.
那好 我回头再找你 Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then.
你没事吧 You okay?
没事 别来抱我 No, you can't hug me right now.
你需要打车钱吗 Do you need money for a cab or anything?
不 我不用 我有打车钱 No, I don't need money for a cab.
那好吧 Okay.
我这是在他妈的哪儿 I don't know where the fuck I am right now.
嘿 劳伦 Hey, Lauren.
我只想躺床上看一整天《老友记》 I just want to get in bed and watch Friends all day.
来为我们大都会州立的队员们欢呼吧 Let's hear it for your Metropolitan city state statesmen!
他们上场了 And the statesmen take the field
和海德综合大学的首场比赛 for the opening game against the university of Hather generals.
预备 Ready?
今天是见证惊喜的开始 And a surprise start today
大一新生布拉德·麦奎德 for walk-on freshman Brad Mcquaid.
做为新生看着可不年轻 Looks pretty old to be a freshman.
那是牛奶喝多了早熟 鲍勃 It's the hormones in the milk, Bob.
预备 开始 传 Ready? Set, hut!
海瑟将球扔回 Haythe drops back.
麦奎德接到了球 And connects with Mcquaid!
威尔·格洛克被狠狠地撞开 Who beats safety Will Glock
就像一团我最爱的焗蛋泡蛋清 like an egg white in my favorite meringue recipe.
我勒个去 他真不错 Holy shit, he's good.
你们不许跟他说他打得不错 听到没 None of you tell Mcquaid that he's good, all right?
他知道了 就会离开我们这个小破队 If you do, he'll leave this shitty program.
时间在流逝 还够最后一击 And as the clock ticks down, we've got time for one last play.
又一次海瑟和麦奎德的完美配合 Another perfect hookup between Haythe and Mcquaid.
就连他们的庆祝动作都是那么的默契 Even their end zone celebration is in perfect sync.
就像他们俩长着同一个大脑似的 It's like these two share a single brain, Bob.
的确如此 吉姆 他们心思相通 That's right, Jim. They both have one half a brain.
人群冲进了场地 And the crowd rushes the field
他们试图把门柱撞倒 to try and knock down a goalpost.
撞不倒的 It's not coming down!
祝你们好运 Good luck, guys.
看来大都会州立又有了一对新搭档 Looks like mc state's got a new power couple.
他们是祖克和麦奎德 Zook and Mcquaid!
我得从你这过去 哥们 I got to get around you, man.
我跨不过去 我有脚踝不好 I can't jump up. I got a broken ankle.
这就对了 Fuck yes!
琴科
在吗 琴科
靠 Shit.
谁啊 Who is that?
没事 再来 Nothing. All right, ready?
来吧 Come on!
集中注意力 Focus!
来吧 再来一次 Come on! Do it!
去他妈的施瓦辛格 Fuck you, Arnold Schwarzenegger!
没见门上挂着袜子吗 别进来 There's a sock on the door! Don't come in!
爽 耶 Fuck, yeah!
我和妹子嘿咻呢 I'm having sex with a human woman.
天啊 爽 My God! Fuck!
嘿 看看谁来了 Hey! Look at you!
你们来这里干嘛 What are you guys doing here?
什么 当然要来了 今天是家长日 What? Are you kidding? It's parents weekend.
靠 Fuck.
太棒了 你在和女孩约会 Wonderful. You're dating someone.
谢了 妈 记住 别说露馅 Thanks, Mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay?
-谢谢 -不用谢 - Thank you. - No problem.
道格 Doug!
玛娅 Maya!
这是我父母 These are my parents.
这就是那个女孩 So this is the girl?
嗨 我是安妮 我是你未来的婆婆 Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new mother-in-law.
-你好 -不如不说 - Nice to meet you. - Worst thing to say.
-嗨 -嗨 我是戴维 - Hi. - Hey. David.
-我老爸 -你好 - My dad. - Nice to meet you.
我父母也在这儿 Well, my parents are here, too.
玛娅 过来 Maya, hurry up!
你妈妈找到座位了 Your mama done found a table she want.
你怎么认识他的 How do you know this person?
爸 这是我男朋友道格 Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating.
啥 The fuck?
你课上得怎么样了啊 道格 How's your classes going, Doug?
我们住得近 所以... You... we were just in the neighborhood, and...
我有个主意 不如我们坐一起吧 I have an idea. Why don't we all sit together?
会很有趣吧 Would that be fun?
好的 谢谢 Yes, thank you.
呃... So...
天气不错 Do you like weather?
你们认识吗 You two know each other?
不 No.
这么多学生 家长 This is crazy, all these, uh,
这真是... students and parents.
都是潜在证人 Potential witnesses.
你们是怎么认识的 How did you two meet?
哦 我最喜欢邂逅的故事了 Oh, I love meet-cute stories.
我们在诗歌朗诵会上认识的 We met at a poetry slam,
然后他跟回了我的寝室 and then he stalked me back to my dorm room.
-你跟着她了 -真浪漫 - Stalked her? - Oh, that's so beautiful.
然后呢 Then what happened?
然后就一起看了个电影 And then we hung out and we watched a movie.
嗯 看了好几遍 Actually, we watched it a couple times.
太他妈扯淡了 This is bullshit!
我他妈 服务员 This fucking... waiter!
怎么才能让你给一个黑人拿点水来 What can a black man do to get some water around here?
给他拿点水 Give the fucking guy some water!
他是黑人 他最近不顺 He's black! He's been through a lot!
给你女儿点面子 控制一下 For the sake of your daughter, please keep it together.
我要疯了 我得来一个煎饼 I'm gonna need a motherfucking crepe before I go crazy.
马上回来 I'll be right back.
你们老家是哪的 So, where are you from originally?
我是康普顿来的 I'm straight outta Compton,
我丈夫来自北岭市 but my husband's from Northridge.
来 哥们 给我来点 Come on, man, hook me up.
你他妈的干嘛呢 给我数数呢吗 What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here?
多来点 就他妈的给我两根豆角 Come on, hook me up. Two little fucking string beans?
多他妈来点豆角 Give me the goddamn string beans.
再来点胡椒煎蛋 I want some fucking deviled eggs.
我喜欢水果 你不喜欢吗 I like fruit. Don't you like fruit?
我喜欢水果 I like fruit.
这个什么破猪肉 滚吧 But this pork shit? Got to go!
他倒是拿餐台出起气来了 He's really taking it out on the omelet bar.
都他妈的什么啊 Shit was nasty!
他最近工作压力有点大 He's under a lot of pressure at work.
我他妈的弄断你的腿 弄断你的腿 I'll break your motherfucking legs! Break your legs!
什么 What?
你好啊 花坛先生 滚一边去吧 How you doing, Mr. Nice plant? Get your fucking ass in there.
给你带一瓶吗 我要再拿一瓶啤酒 Hey, you want another beer? I'm gonna get another beer.
好啊 再来一瓶吧 Yeah, yeah, I'll do another.
听着 哥们 Hey, look, man,
有事的话你可以和我说 you know you can always tell me something
不管是什么事情 if you want to get it off your chest.
你知道我会挺你的 You know I'm always here for you, right?
你想说什么 What are you trying to say?
没什么 No, nothing.
好吧 最近发生了很多事 All right, with everything that happened
辛西娅 歪飞 with Cynthia and whyphy,
我只是不希望你有什么事 I just don't want you to screw up.
你以为我不知道我在干嘛 You don't think I know what I'm doing?
-什么 -我完全知道自己在干嘛 - What? - I know exactly what I'm doing here.
我要告诉你一件事 I'm gonna tell you something, all right?
-我能相信你吗 -当然能 - Can I trust you? - Yeah, of course.
我有个朋友认识一个明尼苏达大学的人 I have a friend who knows a guy at UMC.
他是甲级联赛的球探 He's a scout. It's D-1.
他们的四分卫最近表现不好 Their QB, he's not playing well.
他们对此很不满意 They're not happy with the situation.
他们想让我给他们寄一段录像 They want me to make a tape.
我想让你也一起录 And I want you to be on it with me.
就这个 Nothing else?
去年他们有五个人参加了选秀 They had five guys in the draft last year.
布拉德 这是我们的机会 I mean, Brad, this could be our shot.
我们就像超强二人组一样 We're like the dynamic duo, bro.
我们是蝙蝠侠和罗宾 We're like Batman and Robin.
只不过我们都是蝙蝠侠 But we're both Batman.
不然你以后想干什么 股票经纪人 What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker?
或者是警察 Or a cop?
哥们 你人生的上限 就像是 Dude, your ceiling is, like,
在这儿 so high.
你应该勇于... You can just bust right...
你应该突破它 突破它 Just break right through it. Right through it.
突破它 突破它 Right through it. Right through it.
你真的觉得我能进入明尼苏达队吗 You really think I could make it at UMC?
哥们 只要你想 你能进入名人堂 Dude, you could make it into the hall of fame.
拜托 你才是那个能进去的人 No, dude, come on, that's you.
你能进入橄榄球的编年史里 You're gonna be in, like, the annals of football history.
哥们 你也能进入编年史 Dude, you could make it into the annals of football history, too.
我们能改变橄榄球的历史 We're gonna have to tear those annals up.
-好吧 -我们将改变历史 - All right. - We're gonna fucking tear it up.
反正就是卷录像带 I mean, it's just a tape, right?
我真是烦死我爸这样了 I fucking hate my dad so much.
你绝对不能想象 Do you have any idea
有个人总是对你指手画脚 what it's like to have a guy like that
处处要你听他的是什么感觉 telling you what to do all the time?
我在努力想象 I can only imagine.
我就不明白 I just don't understand
他为什么非要针对你 what his problem is with you specifically.
怎么样啊 "道格"-迪克森
我不...我真是不理解 I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me. 怎么样啊 "道格"-迪克森
我不...我真是不理解 I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me. 我要杀了你 "道格"-迪克森
你那么好的一个人 I mean, you are a perfectly good guy.
脾气又好又老实 You're very honest and nice.
我爸怎么会有你的电话 Why does my dad have your phone number? 你死定了 "道格"
我也不知道 可能在学校通讯录上查的吧 I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something.
我们干点什么吧 Let's do something...
干点什么分散一下注意力 Let's do something that would distract us.
好 Okay.
省得又想起他来生一肚子气 So we don't have to think about him anymore.
那个 All right. Um...
玛娅 Maya.
我们就聊聊天怎么样 Is it okay if we just talk?
好啊 Okay.
那就聊天吧 Let's talk.
-不是吧 - No way.
我演彼得潘 但是我去晚了 I was Peter Pan, but then I was, like, late.
你和你弟弟关系真的很好 You're really close with your brother, then.
-看起来是 -是啊 - It seems like. - Yeah.
我们就是... Yeah, you know...
橄榄球录像带 祖克 "麦 奎 德"
你真他妈的天才 哥们 You're a fucking genius, dude.
-你确定这样不会太过了吗 -怎么会 - Are you sure it's not too much, though? - No!
学生运动员
-耶 -哦耶 - Yeah! - Fuck, yeah! 学生运动员
一整夜 兄弟 可是弄了一整夜 All night, bro. Come on. All night.
这个绝对值得 It's gonna be so worth it, dude.
这个绝对值得 我告诉你 哥们 It's gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right?
你知道还差点什么吗 Dude, you know what this needs?
再来个星形擦除效果 Another star wipe.
默契 请我喝啤酒 Jinx. Buy me a beer.
干得好 Nice twist.
什么 On what?
真不敢相信我们就这么聊了一夜 I can't believe we've been talking all night.
天啊 八点了 我还有课 Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I have class, actually.
好的 Okay.
需要什么你随便用 Yeah, you can help yourself to whatever you need, and...
好的 All right.
不好意思 我... Yeah, I'm so sorry, this...
我得走了 I'll see you.
回头见吧 I'll see you later.
-好的 -开心的夜晚 - Okay. - Best night ever.
好了 拜拜 Okay. Bye.
拜拜 Bye.
你在那待多久了 How long have you been there?
要多久有多久 Like, the longest amount of time you could think of right now.
你不该偷听的 This stuff wasn't meant for you.
那是私人谈话 It was meant to be private.
那我是不是该坐在这里 So, am I supposed to just sit here
假装我什么也没听见 and not act like I hear every one of your problems?
你有很多烦恼 但年轻不在其列 You got 99 problems, but being young isn't one.
你妒忌 是因为玛娅和我情投意合 You're just jealous because Maya and I have a real connection.
我跟我爷爷也很亲 I'm pretty close with my grandpa, too.
你比辛西娅还要糟糕 You're more messed up than Cynthia was,
她每周都会去找三次学校的心理医生 and she went to the school shrink three times a week.
-为什么 -我怎么知道 - Why? - I don't know.
他就说了一通屁话 给了她一堆药 But he gave her a ton of pills and shit.
你这张奇怪的老人脸也该让他治治 Maybe he could give you something for your weird old face.
好吧 Okay.
-嘿 -你迟到了 - Hey. - You're late.
实际上 我是在忙调查的事 No, actually, I was busy with the investigation.
这是辛西娅心理咨询师的办公室 This is Cynthia's therapist's office.
这才是我们要调查的 This is our investigation.
马丁·P·墨菲医生
好吧 All right. 马丁·P·墨菲医生
好吧 All right.
看着门口 Watch the door.
我就没别的用处了吗 Oh, is that all I'm good for?
就配看个门 Just watching a fucking door?
找到了 Got it.
患者服药后会变得多疑 "Patient exhibits drug-induced paranoia.
你在哪里-祖克 快到了 跟我那烦人的弟弟一起
总觉得自己的生命受到威胁 "Believes her life is in danger." 你在哪里-祖克 快到了 跟我那烦人的弟弟一起
门开了 门开了 Uh, door, door.
我早上九点好像没有预约 I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 A.M. session.
我们约了早上九点 是我们 Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 A.M. That's us.
不过我们已经没事了 And we're cured.
太感谢你了 你真是个好医生 Thank you very much. You're an amazing doctor.
你们又不是第一对来找我寻求帮助 Please. You think you're the first partners
一见到我又害怕不敢说 come in here looking for help only to try to run
就说自己已经没事的搭档 when you're first faced with talking with me?
你怎么知道我们是搭档 How the fuck did you know we were partners?
他不知道我们是搭档 He doesn't know we're partners.
我猜你们是搭档 I suspect you're partners.
维持一段关系 是需要不懈努力的 A relationship is something that requires constant work.
我们在高中的时候就知道了 Which is what I thought we learned in high school.
原来你们高中就走在一起了 So you are high school sweethearts.
我比你们早 I picked up on that early.
请继续说 Please, continue the dialogue.
医生 Doc.
有时候我会觉得 I just feel like sometimes
他已经放弃尝试了 he's not even trying anymore.
感觉我们这段感情不值得去挽救 Like this isn't even worth saving.
有时候我倒觉得 Oh, okay. Well, sometimes I feel like
我们美国佬就要有美国佬的样 that we should be more like the yanks.
也许我应该多学学你美丽的祖克 Or maybe I should be more like your beautiful Zook.
-去死吧 -你才去死 - Oh, go fuck yourself! - You go fuck yourself.
-好了 -你个自私鬼 - Okay. - You're so selfish.
-别再废话了 -天啊 - All right. That's a lot of fucking. - Oh, my God.
有时候 我喜欢让病人来点身体接触 Sometimes I like to have the participants make physical contact.
你们为什么不牵手呢 Why don't you hold hands?
-好的 -我才不要 - Okay. - I'm not doing that.
看吧 Do you see?
伸出你们的手 Reach out your hand.
我 I'm...
他向你伸手了 He's literally reaching out for you.
他不会和我牵手的 He won't hold my hand.
我才不要 I'm not doing it.
我希望你能做到 I kind of need you to do it.
-他不会和我牵手的 -天啊 你 - He won't hold my hand. - Oh, you...
要十指紧扣 You got to interlock it, though.
如果不十指紧扣 就不是牵手了 If you don't interlock it, it's not hand-holding.
行 Fine.
我们还是做朋友吧 We might as well just be friends
别做搭档了 and not partners.
感觉不错 对吧 Nice, right?
瞧 这是坚不可摧的 Okay, you see this? This is strong.
但我想要的 是这样 What I want to be able to have is this.
这 Is this...
我希望我们有那种关系 I want to be able to have that, that same thing, in, like
但不需要实际行动去证明 without actually having to do it.
你觉得你的搭档让你丢脸了吗 Are you embarrassed of your partner?
一点也没有 No, not at all. Okay?
该死的 你们干嘛拿我说事 And why the fuck are you guys ganging up on me?
现在让我们把矛头指向他 Gang up on him. Okay, seriously.
他太粘人了 Okay, okay. He's clingy.
他简直就是不能独处 He literally is terrified of being by himself.
我知道祖克是你的好兄弟 Look, I know Zook's your buddy
你不想他有罪 and you don't want him to be guilty,
但他就是我们要找的人 but he's our guy.
我确定 他不是我们要找的人 No, he's actually not our guy. I would know.
有时候 我们会很依赖于一些 Now, you know, we sometimes cling to things
一开始就熟知并觉得是对的事情 because they're familiar and comfortable.
我教过一门叫植入性思维的课 I teach about a principle called embedding.
-事实是 -实际上 我 - Look at the facts. - Matter of fact, I...
祖克有那个纹身 而且他认识辛西娅 Zook has the tattoo. He knew Cynthia.
我知道你们第一次见面的时候 I know the first time he met you,
你将三文治甩在他脚上 you dropped a fucking sandwich on his foot
他还对你笑了 and he smiled at you,
但你也不能一直蒙在鼓里 but you are completely blind to the fact...
-什么是植入性思维 -植入性思维吗 - What'd you say embedding was? - Embedding?
植入性思维就是 Oh, embedding is our tendency
当我们初次接触到信息的一部分时 to latch on to the first bit of information
我们就自然而然地 that we're offered and overlooking,
忽略了另一部分信息 or even ignoring, contradictory information.
这是一个很有意思的理论 It's a fascinating principle...
闭嘴 我在思考 Shut up. I'm thinking.
你觉得我们是不是 You think it's possible that
太想当然了 we embedded?
就好像我们喝醉之后 What, like when we were drunk or something?
-对彼此太想当然了吗 -我的建议是 - We embedded each other? - Okay. I'm gonna recommend...
你可以离开了 Okay, you can leave the room.
赶紧滚 Just get the fuck out.
你也听到了 赶紧滚 Get the fuck out. You heard him.
还真是峰回路转 This took a turn.
一 二 One, two...
好吧 我滚 很开心的一次谈话 Okay. Yep. Good session.
我们第一次看到 The first time we saw the photo
辛西娅买歪飞的照片时 of Cynthia buying whyphy,
迪克森就说那人是毒贩 Dickson said, "This guy's the dealer."
我们所做的一切都基于这点 Everything we've done and thought has been based on that fact,
如果迪克森是错的呢 but what if Dickson was wrong?
而我们一直无视其他线索 And we've ignored all the other clues.
如果辛西娅不是买家呢 What if Cynthia wasn't the buyer?
如果辛西娅是卖家呢 What if Cynthia was the dealer?
队长 我们有很重要 Captain, we have something really,
很重要的事情要告诉你 really important to tell you about.
队长 Captain?
你在穿防弹衣吗 Are you wearing kevlar?
同志们 不要坐在这里 Now, gentlemen, we're not gonna sit here
给我假装什么事也没发生过 and pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.
到底怎么回事 What the fuck is going on?
就是这么回事 This is what the fuck is going on.
我的天啊 我的天啊 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
我的天啊 Oh, shit! No!
这绝对不是真的 天啊 That is not happening right now! No!
大家听好 他上了队长的女儿 Hey, y'all, he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo!
他每嘚啵一次 Every time he say that shit...
我的天啊 Oh, my fuck!
我就多踹你一脚 That's another foot in your ass.
这真是史上最佳 施密特 Schmidt, you clearly... Yo, this is the best thing ever!
施密特上了队长的女儿 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
施密特把队长的女儿上了 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
队长的女儿被施密特上了 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
我的天啊 Shit! Fuck!
你居然上了迪克森队长的女儿 You fucked captain Dickson's daughter?
队长 这 Captain, what the...
你还在他面前吹嘘了 You bragged to him to his face.
就当着队长的面 To his actual face. Captain...
你看到这张脸了吗 Do you understand that this face right here,
你当着这张脸吹嘘了一番 you bragged to that face?
你还因为这件事跟施密特击掌了 You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter.
我的天啊 Holy shit!
我的天啊 这 Oh, my God! This is...
其实也没那么好笑 It's really not that funny.
我只想说 I just want to say that
不告诉别人你的女儿在MC州立大学 it was bizarre not to share the fact
是件很奇怪的事情 that your daughter went to MC State.
我觉得更奇怪的是 I think it's bizarre
我还没把你的蛋蛋切下来 that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off.
让队长在你脸上重重地 What if captain gets to punch you in the face one time,
狠狠地来一拳 怎么样 really, really, really hard?
我有更好的办法 I got something way better than that.
你认为辛西娅是卖家吗 You think Cynthia was the dealer?
如果卖家的卖家死了 How the fuck we gonna infiltrate the trade
我们要怎么调查这桩交易 if the dealer's dealer is dead?
我们不能用上次的手段 We have to stop treating this
处理这次的事件 like it's exactly the same as last time.
更重要的问题是 我们没钱了 And we got a bigger problem. No more money in the budget.
我还以为我们有凯特·布兰切特资助 What? I thought we had Cate Blanchett. 凯特·布兰切特 86届奥斯卡最佳女主角 指环王里饰演精灵女王
什么凯特·布兰切特 Cate Blanchett?
我还以为她赞助了我们很多资金 Yeah, I thought we had Cate Blanchett with the budget.
那叫全权委托 You mean "carte blanche."
就是那个 That one.
欢迎回来 傻蛋 Welcome back, dum-dum.
以前是有 现在没了 We did have carte blanche. Not no more.
一开始买了一堆东西 You got that expensive chase in the beginning,
昂贵的设备 这破办公室 that expensive equipment, this fucking office...
这钢铁侠般的办公室 贵屎了 This look like some shit iron man would have. Shit's expensive!
都还没给你们看我脚上这八百美元的破鞋 I got on $800 shoes, and you can't even see the motherfuckers.
无论如何你俩也给我搞定这破事 So now you two motherfuckers is in the crosshairs.
我警告你们 I'm warning you,
找到供货人 find the supplier,
但不能花队里的一分钱 but don't cost the department no more money.
很抱歉 我错怪祖克了 Look, I apologize about the Zook thing.
你是对的 他不是卖家 You were right, he's not the dealer.
你终于肯道歉了 Okay, great. You apologized.
还有什么比这更糟的 对吧 What's that worth, man?
什么线索都没了 现在怎么办 Now we have no leads. What are we supposed to do now?
干警察干的事 Police work.
别把死人的假阴茎往我身上扔 Don't throw a fucking dead person's dildo at me.
现在是在工作 We're at work right now, okay?
现在哪里还有小孩看书的 Kids don't check out books anymore, right?
他们连书都看不懂吧 I don't even think they know how to read.
-图书馆 -藏书的地方 - Library. - Book place.
那叫图书馆 Library.
供货人将毒品塞进书里 The supplier is putting drugs
放到图书馆 inside the books in the library,
那是没人会去的最佳藏毒点 where literally no one goes anymore, man.
卖家就在那里拿货 And the dealers check out the books.
我们快要抓到供货人了 We're going to catch the supplier.
-这实在是太酷了 -等等 - Do you realize how cool... - Wait, one sec, one sec.
怎么了 兄弟 What's up, dude?
兄弟 你在哪里 Hey, dude, where are you?
我们在热身 比赛快开始了 We're warming up. The game's about to start.
好吧 我快 All right, man. Um, look, I'm just gonna...
我来了 I'm coming.
好的 一会见 All right, later.
你要干嘛 别让我一个人 What are you doing? Don't leave me hanging.
我得走了 不然会暴露身份 Dude, I got to go or I'm gonna blow my cover, okay?
你搞得定的 我两小时后回来 You can do this alone. I'll be back in two hours.
你能行 You got this.
你吓死我了 You scared me.
战术名 数字 战术名 数字 State name! Number! State name! Number!
颜色 颜色 数字 Color! Color! Number!
就是这里了 This is the place.
要真想做交易 You'd think if somebody wants to show us their operation,
就别迟到啊 they'd at least be on time.
瞧这破玩意 Look at this crap. Huh?
-我是挺怀念 -天啊 - I do miss the days... - Shit.
-他在这干嘛 -大家都磕一般毒品的日子 - What's he doing here? - when people did normal drugs.
赶紧来图书馆~我在比赛~老鬼在这里
这是什么破玩意 软糖吗 What is this? Jelly beans? 赶紧来图书馆~我在比赛~老鬼在这里
破玩意 Crap!
开始传球 Set, hut!
麦奎德连续使用了迂回战术 Mcquaid crosses in an end-around.
他们在声东击西 这俩真是互换自如 It's a trick play! These two are practically interchangeable.
麦奎德把球传给了海瑟 Mcquaid throws down the field to Haythe.
他接住了球 准备触地得分 And he hangs on for the touchdown!
他俩跟豌豆似的一模一样 鲍勃 These two are peas in a pod, Bob,
不过不是小绿豆子 but instead of little green balls,
他们是活生生的橄榄球运动员 they are human football players.
你是在忽视我吗 在吗
你是在忽视我吗 在吗 你是在忽视我吗
在吗
MC州立大学的同学们 Let's hear it once again, MC State,
再次为这俩位最佳搭档而呐喊吧 for your dynamic duo.
该死 我的兄弟需要我 Oh, shit. My brother needs me again. 你是在忽视我吗~快点 我需要你
忠诚是件好事 Look, you know, loyalty's cool,
我很敬佩 and I admire it,
我也知道他是你兄弟 and I know he's your brother.
但你不该让一个人因为不肯放手 But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy
而拖了你后腿 just because he won't let go.
拜托了!!!!!!琴科!!!!!!!
只是 Yeah. Um... 拜托了!!!!!!琴科!!!!!!!
我得去尿尿 I gotta take a piss.
那些小孩让我们等那么久 真是无礼 The kid's pretty rude to make us wait like this.
你能别废话吗 Can you shut it?
那些九十年代的毒品怎么了 What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s?
海洛因 可卡因 Heroin, you know, cocaine...
-喂 -天啊 - Hey, hey. - Whoa. Shit.
我来了 你高兴了吧 I'm fucking here. You happy?
老鬼就在那里 The Ghost is right there, okay?
他准备跟供货人碰面 He's about to meet up with the supplier.
-过去看看 -你才闭嘴 - Hey. Check that out. - You shush.
-就你在说话 -你吵死了 - You're the one fucking talking. - You're being so fucking loud.
你给我闭嘴 You shut the fuck up.
-发生什么事了 -我去 - What's going on here? - Shit!
你打扰了一次一级爽的吹萧 You're interrupting a really stellar blow job.
天啊 爽死我了 Oh, fuck, I just came so hard!
怎么回事 What the hell is going on?
没事 就两个死基佬 It's okay. It's just a couple of faggots.
混球 你刚说什么了 Hey, yo, what the fuck did you just say?
你刚叫我们"死基佬"吗 Did you just call us "Faggots"?
是他说你在帮他吹萧 He said you were sucking his dick.
现在是2014年了 混球 It's 2014, asshole.
你不能用"死基佬"这个词 You can't fucking use "Faggot."
"同志"可以 "同性恋者"也行 "Gay" Is okay. "Homosexual," Maybe.
如果你认识那个人 And if you know the person,
你也可以说他们是"好基友" you might be able to call them a "Queer."
前提是他们很有幽默感 而我没有 If they have a great sense of humor, but I don't.
很抱歉 他报了个人类性学班 I'm sorry, he took one Human Sexuality class,
把自己当成了哈维·米尔克 he thinks he's Harvey Milk.
哈维·米尔克 美国同性恋运动人士 把自己当成了哈维·米尔克 he thinks he's Harvey Milk.
哈维·米尔克 美国同性恋运动人士 我的天啊 拜托 Oh, my God. Will you please,
你就不能挺我一次吗 just for once, just back me up?
你就不能用一下你的脑子吗 Why can't you just use your head for once?
你想我用脑是吧 行 Oh. You want me to use my head? Fine.
你们这群混球 现在是想怎样 Oh, yeah, what's up now, motherfuckers?
记得我吗 You remember me?
我是你们最好的 I'm your best night...
我是你们最可怕的噩梦 I'm your worst nightmare.
天啊 让我想想 Oh, man, it's my memory.
最近记忆有点差 It's getting worse lately.
你是那个警察吧 Are you the police?
没错 你们这群混球正式被捕 Yeah, that's right. And you motherfuckers are all under arrest.
你的枪呢 Where's your gun?
-什么 -你有枪吗 - What? - Do you have guns?
没有 No.
我没有枪 No, I don't.
可是我们有枪 'Cause we have guns.
为什么你们不把枪放下 Well, why don't you put your guns down,
我们来场男人之间的决斗 and let's fight like men?
因为我们有枪 Because we have guns.
-施密特 快跑 -抓住他 - Schmidt, run! - Get him!
快快快 赶紧跑 Go! Go, go. Go!
我的天 Shit!
这能有多难啊 开枪射他们 How hard can it be? Shoot them!
我操 我操 Fuck, fuck, fuck!
开枪射他们 Shoot them! Shoot them!
来 这边快点 Come on, this way, it's faster.
过来 施密特 施密特 No, just come this... Schmidt! Schmidt!
快点 Hurry up, okay?
施密特 你就不能快点吗 Schmidt, will you hurry up!
别叽歪 你这是在分散我的注意力 Stop yelling at me! You're distracting me!
施密特 赶紧的 Schmidt, come on! Let's go!
我跳不下去 我又不是蜘蛛侠 I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking spider-man!
我去把车开来 I'm gonna get the car.
走楼梯快多了 Stairs are so much faster.
你就只有这辆破车吗 That's the car you got?
抱歉这不是兰博基尼 I'm sorry it's not a fucking lambo.
闭上你的嘴 给我上车 Shut up and get in.
他们还在追我们吗 Are they even still chasing us?
他们还在追我们 Yes, they're still chasing us!
你干嘛那样做 Why did you do that?
我们差点逮到供货人了 We were about to catch the supplier.
你有毛病啊 What's wrong with you?
你少废话 Look, if you don't say something,
别人就不会去辩解 people will never stop discriminating.
你能让这东西快点吗 Will you please do something
慢死了 about how slow this thing's going?
-死定了 -小心 小心 - Oh, shit! - Watch out, watch out!
那简直就是迷你头盔车 That is just like a little helmet machine.
本杰明·希尔电影研究中心
我们不能再砸烂任何东西了 We can't destroy any more stuff!
我们不能再浪费队里的钱了 We can't waste any more of the department's money!
小心那台提款机 Watch out for that cash machine!
哪条路 哪条路 Which way? Which way? Which way?
哪里便宜走哪里 Whichever way's cheaper!
冥想雕塑院 停车场B 你干嘛转右 Right? You went right?
干嘛不选停车场 You could've gone in a parking lot,
你居然来雕塑园 you went to the sculpture garden?
你知道那有多贵吗 Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
该死 Shit!
他们好像刻意去撞那些雕塑 It's like they're trying to hit 'em or something.
虽然看起来很酷 I mean, it looks cool,
但那也太浪费了吧 but, I mean, it's just so wasteful.
他们把所有东西都撞翻了 They're destroying everything!
队长非要杀了我们不可 Captain's gonna kill us!
我们要怎么办 What are we gonna do?
我们要在机器人实验室里甩掉他们 All right, we're gonna lose 'em in the robotics lab.
什么 What?
天啊 我们把所有东西都砸了 Oh, no! Oh, we broke everything!
那可价格不菲啊 There was a lot of expensive stuff in there!
天啊 Oh, shit!
他们到体育场去了 They're going into the stadium!
施密特 我有话跟你说 Listen, Schmidt, I gotta tell you something.
我拿到了一份奖学金 I got offered a scholarship
让我明年在这里打球 to play football here next year.
祖克说我可以跟他一起住 And Zook said I could room with him, you know,
我在想 也许我该接受 so I was thinking that I could do that, maybe.
你不能一边当警察 What? You can't be a cop
一边在这里和祖克打球 and stay here and play football with Zook.
这我知道 我只是 No, look, I know, okay? It's just...
我祖克没有摩擦 我们是一类人 There's no friction with me and Zook. We're the same.
你是想退出吗 Do you want out?
想退出就说啊 If you want out, just say it.
我不是想退出 No, I don't want out, okay?
当我奔跑在球场上的时候 It's just, when I'm on the football field
我感觉自己真的能飞起来 and I'm diving for a pass, I feel like I can fly.
当我跟你在一起的时候 All right? And when I'm with you,
我只感觉你在拖我后腿 it just feels like you hold me down.
我真希望你能跟我飞 I just wish you could fly with me.
主场胜利 34比14 And the statesmen win, 34-14.
粉丝们冲到球场上了 And there go the fans onto the field.
琴科 Jenko!
我的天啊 Jesus Christ!
-刹车坏了 -什么 - Dude, the brakes are out. - What?
都他妈别挡道 Get the fuck out of the way!
你得跳车 快跳车 跳啊 You gotta jump. You gotta jump, jump, jump!
不要啊 No.
我操 Fuck!
走吧 老大 我们得走了 Let's go, boss. We gotta go.
你做到了 好耶 You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
先生 你被捕了 You're under arrest, sir.
我是警官 好吧 Hey, I'm an officer, all right?
先把我抓走 我待会再解释 Just take me in. I'll explain later.
不 他是个学生 与他无关 No, no, no. Hey, he's a student. He didn't do anything.
等等 你在干什么 你在干什么 Wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing?
我 I, um...
我替你做了决定 I decided for you.
坚持橄榄球吧 Just stick with football.
我给不了你这些人带给你的感觉 I can't give you the same feeling that these guys can.
也许我们的缘分只有那一次 Maybe we were only supposed to do this once.
什么 What?
老兄 这是我人生中最赞的一刻 Dude, this is the fucking best moment of my life!
走吧 Let's go, man!
麦奎德 麦奎德 麦奎德 Mcquaid! Mcquaid! Mcquaid!
嗨 马娅·安杰卢 Hey, Maya Angelou.
谢谢你骗了我 Thanks for lying to me.
兰博基尼 没错 Lam-bros! Yes!
布拉德·麦奎德 布拉德·麦奎德 Brad Mcquaid! Brad Mcquaid!
布拉德·麦奎德 布拉德 Brad Mcquaid! Brad...
-先生今晚过的怎样 -很好 谢谢 - How are we doing tonight, sir? - Good, thanks.
你在等人还是一个人用餐 Are we waiting on anybody or you dining alone?
也许有人会来 但是不用等他们 Someone may swing by, but we can...
可以先点单 we can order without them.
MC州立"歪飞"案件逮捕嫌犯 我们已查明并逮捕了卡尔·墨菲医生 We have identified and arrested one Dr. Karl Murphy,
MC州立"歪飞"案件逮捕嫌犯 在他的办公室里发现了歪飞残留 who was found with whyphy residue throughout his office...
并且还与被害人有亲密关系 ...and had a close personal relationship with the deceased.
和我们前不久在高中破获的案件如出一辙 Exactly like a case we had recently at a high school.
一模一样 Exactly the same.
本案告破了 The case is closed.
你毕业了之后要干什么 You know, like, what you're gonna do after you're out of here?
你不能扔石头 You're not supposed to throw rocks.
什么 What?
你不能扔石头 You're not supposed to throw rocks.
我一点也不想你 I ain't missing you at all
结 案 MC州立 "歪飞"案
因为你早走了 Since you've been gone away
一人份的龙虾 The lobster for one person.
只用一人份的 Enough for one person only.
不管我的朋友们怎么说 No matter what my friends say
我留意到歪飞案的一些细节 I found something in this whyphy case that caught my attention.
你他丫的滚出我办公室 Get the fuck out of my office.
-长官 你不... -人抓到了 - Sir, you don't... - We caught the guy.
爽 好棒 Yeah! Yeah!
今天除了健身你想干点别的吗 Hey, you want to do anything else other than work out today?
比方说什么 Like what?
来嘛 老兄 就是些龙虾啦 Come on, dude. They're just lobsters, dude.
来吧 别害怕 Come on. No, don't be afraid.
它要夹你脸了 要夹你脸了 It's gonna claw your face. It's gonna claw your face.
我们下半辈子一直会这样 It's gonna be like this, dude, for the rest of our lives.
今夜独自远足 Down this long distance line tonight
我一点也不想你 I ain't missing you at all
因为你早走了 Since you've been gone away
我一点也不想你 I ain't missing you
不管我的朋友们怎么说 No matter what my friends say
一点也不想你 Ain't missing you
-你好啊 -嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
你来这干嘛 What are you doing here?
来看看你过得好不好 Just came to see how you are.
我他妈好极了 I'm doing fucking great.
从没这么开心过 I'm the happiest I've ever been,
自己一个人棒极了 so I'm just having a great time with myself.
很高兴你一个人过得很好 I'm glad you're having a good time with yourself.
我现在是单飞艺人了 就像碧昂斯 I'm a solo artist now, like Beyonce.
以前周围还有 I used to have the other
别的真命天女 但现在只有我一个 destiny's children, but now I'm just, uh,
超级巨星 a lone superstar.
很替你高兴 Happy for you.
浅色肌肤的公主身怀梦想和美妙歌喉 Just a light-skinned princess with a dream and an amazing voice.
挺好的 That's great.
你呢 How are you?
我过的挺不错的 I'm pretty great.
我就是很随性 你知道祖克很随性的 I just chill and... You know how chill Zook is.
祖克是很随性 Zook's such a chill guy.
冷若冰霜 Just like ice.
我替你们高兴 That makes me so happy for you.
听着 我只是想说 So, look, I just wanted to say that, like,
我在想这个案子 I was thinking about the case,
我担心他们抓错人了 and I was worried that they got the wrong guy for it.
我也觉得他不是犯人 I don't think he's the guy, either.
是吗 Yeah?
我查过老鬼的背景 I looked into the Ghost's background,
我看他有个MC州立的一个学生付学费 and I saw that he pays tuition for a student at MC state.
你觉得老鬼可能是供货人的爸爸吗 You think the Ghost could be the supplier's dad?
有可能 Maybe.
这是个好线索 Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information.
谢谢 Thank you.
我听说歪飞要卷土重来了 Well, I heard whyphy's coming back in a big way.
有人春假要带一大批货 Someone's bringing a shit-ton of that stuff
到墨西哥港口 down to Puerto, Mexico, for spring break.
如果发生了 歪飞就会开始大面积散播 And if that happens, whyphy is going viral.
全国每所大学都会有 It's gonna be at every college in the country.
我觉得我的线索更屌 I think my information was stronger.
听着 你要是想的话 Look, if you... If you want to,
我们可以去那里 we could go down there.
像搭档一样吗 Like together?
不一定非得是搭档啊 We don't have to put a label on it.
就这一次 仅此一次 Just, like, one-time. One-time thing.
不用承诺或者给彼此施压 No big commitment or stress to each other.
就算是看在昔日情分上 Just like one time for old time sake.
那你美好崭新的大学和橄榄球生活怎么办 What about school and football and your wonderful new life?
我有空 I have time off.
现在是春假 I'm on spring break.
墨西哥港口
这冰爽 Cool tingling.
得带上这个宝贝 Got room for one of these babies.
手榴弹 你把它放那干嘛 A grenade. Why you gonna put it there?
也太脏了吧 That's just unsanitary.
想放就放了呗 Feels right.
漏了一块 Missed a spot.
你知道这回只是仅此一次吧 You know this is just a one-time thing, right?
我知道 I know.
你不会想太多吧 So you're not gonna be weird about this?
好吧 Okay.
完美 Perfect.
春假来啦 混蛋们 Spring break, motherfucker.
-没看到我走在前面吗 -你先走 - Did you not see that I was going first? - Excuse you.
-你先走呗 -你想先走吗 - Excuse you. - You want to go first?
春假来啦 混蛋们 Spring break, motherfuckers!
I be divin' in the crowd
Shake my dreads, actin' wild
Can't do lean, too blowed out
Too turnt up, I can't turn down
Can't turn down can't turn down
Can't turn down
快看 Hey.
All I wanna do is party
My head keep on spinning around
Baby girl, why don't you first
Drop it to the ground
I be divin' in the crowd
Shake my dreads, actin' wild
Can't do lean, too blowed out
Too turnt up, I can't turn down
Can't turn down can't turn down
蠢货外国佬
Can't turn down can't turn down
我的天 我出汗了 My gosh! I'm sweaty.
你们还真能在这里吃东西啊 You guys are actually eating stuff in here?
太疯狂了 That's so crazy.
别这样 管好你老二 Come on, man, put your dick away.
你他妈的管好你老二 Put your fucking dick away.
楼上 在楼上 走 Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go.
计划是这样的 Okay, so here's the plan.
我们要让这些过春假的小鬼对歪飞上瘾 We're gonna get all these kids at spring break hooked on whyphy.
然后把货带回你们的地盘 Then you're gonna bring it back to your turf,
全部他妈要卖出去 and you're gonna sell the shit out of it.
那写着"全部他妈要卖出去" 看到没 "Sell shit out of it." Do you see that?
你们要是敢耍我 And if you rat me out,
我坑了我的心理学教授 因为他给了我B- I framed my psych prof just for giving me a b-minus.
他这会儿在监狱里蹲着呢 所以别惹我 He's in jail now, so don't fuck with me.
我们要建立全国性的贩卖网 We're gonna build a nationwide network.
你他妈在干什么 安静 What? What the fuck are you doing? Be quiet.
你怎么不卖点传统的九十年代那种毒品 Why don't you sell those old classic drugs from the '90s,
像什么可卡因啦 海洛因啦 like cocaine, heroin and...
爸 那些是老古董才嗑的好吗 Dad, those are, like, old-people drugs.
《黄金女郎》里面才嗑这些 That's, like, what they did on The Golden Girls. 《黄金女郎》1985年NBC播出连续剧
布兰奇嗑的是海洛因[剧中角色] Like, Blanche did heroin.
好吧 那我就坐这什么都不说了 All right, I'll just sit here and be silent.
布兰奇没嗑过海洛因 Blanche never did heroin.
杨氏兄弟 你们俩接我挂掉室友的班 Okay, so, Yangs, you'll take my dead roommate's spot.
-好叻 -成 - Cool. - Dope.
你他妈逗我呢 杨氏兄弟 你们嗑嗨了吗 Are you kidding me, Yangs? Are you fucking high?
当然啦 是啊 Of course. Yeah, I am.
老天 你们没听过 Jesus Christ, have you ever heard of,
"不要嗑自己的货嗑嗨"吗 "Don't get high on your own supply"?
-没有啊 -没 - We didn't. - Nah.
我没嗑自己的 I didn't do that.
是啊 我嗑他的 他嗑我的 Yeah, I used his and he used mine.
好吧 那现在我得杀鸡儆猴了 Okay, well, now I have to make a fucking example out of you.
-那是把枪呢 -是啊 - That's a gun. - Yeah.
谁先来 Who first?
你要先去吗 我不想死 You want to go first? I don't want to die.
你去死 我不想死 You die... I don't want to die.
要石头剪刀布不 石头剪刀布 You want to do rock paper scissors? Rock paper scissors?
就这么定了 That's how we'll do it.
操 Fuck.
靠 Fuck.
我去 Fuck.
分不出输赢的 Yeah, we won't figure this out.
-那我就杀了你们俩 -小亲亲 - I'll shoot both of you. - Darling.
如果你要接手家族生意 If you're going into the family business,
就得不留案底 you will have to have a clean record.
要不然我们雇这些人来干嘛 That's why we have these guys to do it for us.
我操 默契 Oh, fuck. Jinx.
现在得行动了 We got to move right now.
在天堂请我喝可乐 太默契了 Buy me a coke in heaven. Jinx again.
把枪放下 都他妈把枪放下 Put your guns down! Fucking guns down!
道格 Doug?
我不叫道格 我叫施密特 My name's not Doug, it's Schmidt.
-怎么着 我们是警察 -吓傻了吧 - And guess what, we're cops. - Boom.
我的天 Oh, my God.
-地球人都知道好吗 -真的吗 - Yeah, everybody knows. - Really?
你俩看着像是警匪剧中年主演样的 You guys look like the stars of a cop show called Hawaiian dads.
好了 闲聊够了吧 伙计们 上 All right, enough is enough. Boys, move in!
-还有别人吗 -是的 - Oh, do we have company? - Yeah!
-把枪放下 -你先放 - Drop your guns. - Drop yours first.
我们的枪比你多好吗 你他妈把枪放下 We have way more guns than you. Drop your fucking guns.
好吧 说得有理 Okay, that's a good point.
这就是你们整个计划 I mean, was this really your entire plan?
冲进来不带支援 Coming in here with no backup?
或许我们有更精密的计划 Or maybe we had a far more elaborate plan.
或许我拍档口袋里可能有个追踪器 Maybe my partner has a tracking device in his pocket right now.
或...你说啥 May... what?
追踪器不是在你那吗 我没拿啊 You had the fucking tracking device. I don't have it.
你他妈就只用记得这么一件事 That's the one fucking thing you were supposed to remember.
你脑子好 追踪器什么的你负责 You're the smart person. You do the tracking device shit.
那是你的长项 我负责体力活 That's your domain. I do the physical shit.
我有的时候是会拖你后腿 You know what, I may drag you down sometimes,
但每次你要是做什么蠢事 but every possible time you can do something dumb,
你总是能蠢到极致 you do the dumbest possible thing.
不 蠢到极致的是 No, the fucking dumbest possible thing
让两个警察不停废话 is letting two cops blah-blah-blah
好给其他警力时间准备好冲进来 while other cops are getting in position to bust their shit in.
所以你说 我带了追踪器 Oh, so you mean I brought the tracking device.
现在傻了吧 Yeah. What's up now, huh?
看起来真的像在吵架啊 That seemed like such a real argument.
这叫即兴表演 婊子 That's improv, bitch.
行动 Move!
放春假去 白痴 Spring break yourself, fool.
我们龙虎街的直接打断老二 We shoot dicks off here in Jump Street.
我们也在 We're here, as well.
我们龙虎街要打得你屁股开花了 We Jump Street, and we about to jump in yo' ass.
从正中开花 Right in the crack.
别轻举妄动 穿夹克的 Don't do it, leatherface.
他拿着毒品跑了 He's got the drugs!
太无聊了 都没人中枪 This is so boring. No one's getting shot.
老天 Oh, my God.
我他妈刚说你丫就中枪了 Did you just get shot, like, right after I fucking said that?
把你枪给我 看着更大 Can I have your gun? It's bigger.
别跑 我要打烂你屁股 Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass!
爸爸 Dad!
玛娅 Maya?
你在这干嘛 What are you doing here?
现在是枪战 This is a shoot-out.
你知道枪战里会发生什么吗 You know what happens in a shoot-out.
他们总会绑架个女孩 They always kidnap the girl.
并不总是 Not always.
-梅赛德斯 -你跟我走 - Mercedes? - You're coming with me.
婊子 得了吧 我哪都不会跟你去 Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you.
马上 Now.
爸爸 我该怎么办 Dad, what do I do?
那是我的泳衣吗 Is that my bathing suit?
只是礼貌性地问问 Just ask. It's polite.
你开枪打我脚 等等 You shot me in my foot! Wait!
走 快走 Move! Move faster now!
我得慢慢走好吗 你他妈朝我脚开枪 I'm taking my time. Shit, you shot me in my goddamn foot.
道格 道格 Doug? Doug!
玛娅 Maya!
梅赛德斯带着我爸爸从那边走了 Mercedes just took my dad that way!
马上去办 Okay, we're on it.
我要是死了我也得拉你们两个混球垫背 If I die, I'm gonna kill both of you motherfuckers!
操 现在该怎么追他 Fuck. How are we gonna catch him now?
兰博基尼 Lambo.
-警察 警察 -滚边 - Policia! Policia! - Fuck off.
老鬼在那 Shit, there's Ghost!
什么 现在怎么办 What? What do we do?
我们得分头行动 Uh, we need to split up.
你能行吧 Are you okay with that?
我能行 Yeah, I can do it.
你确定 Are you sure?
我得开车 你跑得比我快 I need to drive, 'cause you're faster on foot.
你说啥 我不能开兰博吗 What? I don't get to drive the lambo?
你不能 快点走啦 No, you don't. Come on, let's go!
但人家想开 谁他妈在乎兰博基尼 快去追 But I want... Who gives a shit about the lambo? Just go!
-把钥匙松开 -我办不到 - Let go of the fucking keys! -I can't let 'em go.
你得硬抢 You're gonna have to take 'em.
好好照顾她好吗 肯定很赞 相信我 Take care of her, okay? It'll be glorious, I promise.
这玩意怎么开 How do you drive this thing?
你得让她开你 老兄 You got to let her drive you, bro.
我进不去啊 I can't get in.
看着点路 Look where you're going!
太复杂了 It's so confusing!
开慢点 我手好痛 Easy, bitch. My hands are hurting.
你知道后面那辆车上是谁吗 You know who's behind us in that car?
是我们那最好的赛车手 That's one of the best drivers that we got.
靠 Fuck!
我操 Oh, shit.
太他妈复杂了 这是个啥 Fucking complicated. What is this?
我了了个去 Holy shit!
你个混蛋毁了我开兰博的机会 You fucked up me driving a lamborghini, you dick!
操你们丫的 臭鸽子 Fuck you, doves!
墨西哥港口 让我听到你们嗨起来 Puerto, Mexico, let's hear you get crazy!
感觉好像蝙蝠战车 It's like a Batmobile.
快点啊 施密特 Come on, Schmidt!
快给老人让个道 Old man coming through!
不好意思 让一下 让一下 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
布拉德 春假耶 Brad! Spring break!
现在不行 好吗 Look, I can't, all right?
哥们 我得走了 Dude, I got to go. I got to go.
真是够了 This is quite enough.
你得放开我 别胡闹了 You need to let me go and drop all this.
给我闪开 Get out of the way!
东京漂移[速度与激情3] Tokyo drift!
这也太快了 有点... That was way too fast and pretty...
太...有点激情了 way too... A little bit too furious.
施密特 给我过来 我被铐住了 Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed!
放弃吧 蠢货 车停的不错 Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job!
操 我马上回来 Fuck! I'll be right back.
得先走了 马上回来 抱歉 I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry.
这是命令 你个混蛋 给我滚过来 That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here!
你又老又弱 You are so old and weak!
他妈把枪放下 说真的 Drop the fucking gun! Seriously!
别用你长满老年斑的手碰我 Get your wrinkly hands off me!
你都去哪了 Where the hell have you been?
找你啊 Looking for you.
我一路疯跑过来的 I've been running like crazy!
想像个爷们样的干一架吗 Want to fight like a man?
那你最好像两个爷们一样能打 Then you better fight like two men.
来真的 又是双胞胎 Really? More twins?
起来 老不死的 Get up, old man river!
快点 Come on!
起来打我啊 你丫的小娘炮 Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy!
我不打女生的 快住手 I'm not gonna fight a girl, so just stop!
没关系 It shouldn't matter.
你要是把我当人而不是当女人看 If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman,
你就该问心无愧地打我 you would hit me and not feel bad about it.
-好吧 -打我啊 - Okay. - Bring it!
我准备好了 I'm ready.
该出手了 It's on now, dawg.
女生干架 Girl fight.
我的个天啊 Oh. Oh. Oh, my God.
-我眼睛里有血吗 -我天 你还好吗 - Is there blood in my eye? - Oh, my God. Are you all right?
我眼睛好像出血了 I think there's blood in my eye.
你他妈的会不会打架啊 Fucking learn how to hit!
好点了 That's a little better!
-好一点点了 混蛋 -来啊 来啊 - That's a little better, motherfucker! - Come on! Come on!
-不 不 -什么 - No! No! - What?
-你刚在干吗 -我干什么了 - What were you doing? - What am I doing?
你是想亲我吗 Why'd you try to kiss me?
我他妈才没想亲你 I didn't fucking try and kiss you!
-明明有 -你也太奇怪 - Yes, you did. - Ooh, you're so weird!
你刚跟我来史密斯夫妇那套 You're fucking Mr. And Mrs. Smith-ing me.
我才没给你来史密斯夫妇那一套呢 I'm not Mr. And Mrs. Smith-ing you.
这本来就不是调情架 This wasn't a sexy fight.
说得好听 你明明一直想亲我 Oh, like you haven't wanted to kiss me the whole time.
我才没有呢 一次都没有 I never once wanted to kiss you!
一点也没有 没有 Never! No!
你又放电了 停下来 快停下来 You just did it again! Stop it! Stop!
是你在摆性感表情 You're making a face that is sexy!
我根本就不想亲你 I don't even want to kiss you!
那就别再放电啦 Then stop trying!
是你一直在放电 You keep trying!
我从没想要亲你 I've never tried to kiss you.
你的眼神就在说"亲我" You gave me "kiss me" eyes.
我才没呢 No, I didn't.
我的眼神是在说"我脸上刚挨了一拳" The eyes were "I just got punched in the face" eyes.
才不是让你亲我呢 They weren't "kiss me" eyes.
我都不喜欢你 I don't even like you!
我也不喜欢你呀 所以别再亲我了 Neither do I, so stop kissing me!
好吧 Okay!
不 你又凑过来了 No! You're leaning in again!
我都不知道咱俩是要打架还是亲嘴了 I didn't know if we were gonna punch or kiss!
你把这搞的太别扭了 You're making this so uncomfortable.
这是我打过最别扭的一场架了 This is the most uncomfortable fistfight I've ever been in.
我朝你脸上打一拳这件事就算完了 I'm gonna give you an out by punching you in the face.
-行不 -好 - Okay? - Okay.
然后咱俩就接着打架 And then we're gonna go back to fighting
就当刚才那件事从没发生过 and we'll pretend this never happened,
这实在是太尴尬了 'cause I feel so awkward.
让我看到你们疯起来 I want to see you get crazy!
我他妈的恨死春假了 I fucking hate spring break!
靠 Fuck!
你逗我呢 这是塑料的 Are you kidding me? It's plastic.
根本都不疼 Doesn't even hurt!
这跟你想象中的春假不一样吧 This isn't the spring break you imagined?
这个怎么样 来点好玩的 How about this? You want a little fun?
这是什么 What is that?
湿身吧 宝贝 Get wet, baby!
我脸上好多润滑剂 So much lube in my face!
我脸上居然有润滑剂 Lube on my face.
你好暴力 You're so violent!
你不上我就放开我 Get off me unless you're gonna fuck me!
我才不会上你呢 I'm not gonna fuck you!
-我们是要上床吗 -不是 - Are we gonna fuck? - No, we're not!
这是上床的节奏吧 Is that what's happening?
不是 我打死都不会上你的 No! I'm not gonna fuck you, ever!
滚开 Get off!
怎么着 你想怎样 What? What are you gonna do?
用你那双长满老年斑的手掐死我吗 Choke me with your liver-spotted hands?
用你的拐杖把我推下去吗 You gonna push me over with your Walker?
你能追上我还真让我刮目相看啊 I'm impressed you caught up to me.
你恐怕从上次在 You probably haven't run that fast
威戈比老爷的糖果店后面 since you played stickball in the field
打棍球之后都没再跑过这么快了吧 behind Old Pop Wiggleby's sweet shop.
-不许动 婊子 -谢天谢地 - Freeze, bitch. - Oh, thank God.
看看是谁挣脱那该死的手铐了 Look who got off the motherfucking leash.
现在轮到谁当落难少女[喜剧电影]了 Now who's the Damsel in Distress?
看来是他 Well, I guess it's him.
我找不到射击角度 施密特 I don't have a clean shot, Schmidt.
那就别开枪 Then don't take the shot!
说不定我就想玩阴的呢 Maybe I want to take a dirty shot.
就像你对我女儿做的那样 Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter.
我没对你女儿玩阴的 好吗 I didn't take a dirty shot on your daughter, okay?
我们聊了很多 彼此关心 We talked a lot, and we care about each other.
你身上的所有优秀品质 All the good qualities you have,
我能能从玛娅体内感受到 I can feel inside of Maya.
我要开枪了 I'm gonna take the shot.
别开枪 Don't take the shot.
我可以打穿你的肩膀 I can shoot right through your shoulder,
然后打到那婊子的胸口 hit the bitch right in the chest.
-别开枪 -我要开枪了 - Don't take the shot. - I'm taking the shot.
我他妈的要开枪了 I'll take the fucking shot.
谁都不许比我先开枪 Nobody take the shot before me.
-咱们同时开枪怎么样 -都不许开枪 - How about we take it at the same time? - No one take a shot.
等一下 等一下 等一下 Wait, wait, wait, wait!
-玛娅 就现在 -你说什么 -Now, Maya. -What?
该死的 你有权保持沉默 Shit! You have the right to remain silent...
不 不 不 我来 No, no, no, I got this.
你去处理老鬼 他在房顶 You go handle the Ghost. He's on the roof.
-我这就去 -这里交给我 - I'm on it. - I got it.
你看什么看 What you looking at?
宝贝 手铐拷的漂亮 Good job on the cuffs, baby girl.
怎么他妈这么多台阶啊 So many fucking stairs.
-是我 是我 -该死 - It's me! It's me! - Shit.
你来了 伙计 你抓到梅赛德斯了吗 You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes?
抓到了 我一个人搞定的 Yeah. All by myself.
真的吗 Really?
-主要是我一个人搞定的 -好吧 - Mainly by myself. - Okay.
还有兄弟 你说得对 那辆兰博基尼 And, dude, you were right, that Lambo...
现在别跟我提这个 Just can't hear that right now.
那车烂得很 不怎么样 It's a shitty-made car. It's not good.
走吧 咱们得走了 Hey, let's go. We got to go.
你还剩多少颗子弹 How many bullets you got left?
没了 None.
那装作有子弹的样子 Act like you have bullets, then.
咱们得走了 We gotta go!
我们必须等布丁小宝贝 We have to wait for pudding!
琴科 Jenko!
快上去 快上去 Go, go!
-给 拿着这个 -好的 - Here, take this. - Okay.
我想要替你挡子弹的 兄弟 I tried to take a bullet for you, man.
可你还是没挡到啊 Yeah. But you didn't.
但我想挡来着的 好意最重要 But I tried. It's the thought that matters.
不 光有好意不算 No, it's not the thought that counts.
得挡到了子弹才算 It's fucking taking the bullet.
掩护我 我要跑过去 Cover me. I'm gonna go long.
好 Okay.
再见 终结者 Bye-bye, Terminator!
从我的直升机上滚下去 Hey! Get off of my chopper!
你能把他晃下去吗 Can you shake him off?
我来抓你了 混蛋 I'm coming for you, motherfucker!
快啊 前后晃架子啊 Come on, just wiggle the stick back and forth!
他只有一只手 He's only got one arm!
打你老二用一只手就够了 I only need one arm to punch you in the dick.
把他晃下去 把他晃下去 Shake him off! Shake him off!
别像个娘炮样的 Don't be a pussy!
妈啊 Holy shit!
我做到了 I did it!
我他妈的太屌了 I look so fucking badass!
天啊 你飞起来了 Oh, my God, you flew!
这太疯了 This is crazy!
你跳过来了 兄弟 You made the leap, man!
你为什么要跳过来 Why'd you do that?
因为你跳了啊 'Cause you did it!
我不能让你一个人在这悬着 I couldn't leave you hanging, man!
你说什么呢 我没事 我好着呢 What are you talking about? I was fine. I had it.
你没 You weren't...
-我抓住你了 -该死的 施密特 - I got you! - Shit! Schmidt!
我抓住你了 I got you!
你救了我一命 You saved my life!
我刚发现 I just realized something.
你没拖我后腿 兄弟 You don't hold me down, man.
你提高了我 You lift me up.
比喻意义和字面意义都是 Literally and figuratively.
我知道 我就是这个意思 Yeah, I know. I meant both.
你也没拖我后腿 兄弟 You don't drag me down, either, man.
除了现在以外 I mean, except right now.
你是在拖我后腿 你还真沉 You're dragging me down. You're really heavy.
听着 我短裤里有个手榴弹 Hey, listen, there's a grenade in my shorts.
你能够着吗 Can you reach it?
你得从底下伸手进去 You gotta go in from underneath.
该死 Oh, shit!
-是这个吗 -那是我老二 - Is that it? - That's my dick.
这个呢 What about that?
那也是我老二 That's my dick also.
你怎么硬了 Why is it hard?
我现在肾上腺素爆棚了 I have so much adrenaline right now!
-是这个吗 -你弄的我好痒 - Is that it? - You're tickling me.
我找不到 I can't find it!
就是这个 抓住了 That's it! Grab it!
干得好 Yes!
天啊 我居然还要把它放嘴里 No, I got it in my mouth.
扔的时候说点狂拽酷炫的 Say something cool when you throw it!
一 二 三 One, two, three!
狂拽酷炫 Something cool!
他们掉下去了 They're gone!
我觉得太... Oh, I feel so...
我们成功了 We did it!
伙计 靠 我真是... Dude, fuck, I'm... ow!
该死 抱歉 Oh! Shit, sorry.
哥们 我想死你了 Dude, I miss you so much, man.
我也想你 I miss you, too.
你就像是被我握在拳头里的 You were like a tiny little flower seed
一颗小小的花种 and I was clenching you in my fist.
但是花是无法在拳头里生长的 But a flower, it can't grow in a fist.
种子必须自由的飞翔寻找土壤 A little seed needs to fly away free and find its soil.
我知道 我试着找寻自己的土壤 Yeah, I know. I tried to soil myself and,
但我不喜欢那样 dude, I didn't like it.
我想要一个没有摩擦的关系 I wanted a relationship without friction.
但是摩擦才能产生火花啊 Dude, you need friction to create fire.
而那正是我们所拥有的 我们有火花 And that's what we have, we have fire.
哥们 我要跟你和好 和好了 Dude, I'm in. I'm all in.
谢天谢地 Thank God.
哥们 这才是我一直以来想要的 Dude, this is what I've always wanted.
就你和我 伙计 Just me and you, buddy.
我爱你 I love you.
我也是 我爱你 伙计 Me, too, man. I love you, man.
你知道吗 You know what?
那才是他的真命天子 That's who he should be with, man.
什么 What?
你把手榴弹扔上去的时候说了什么 Hey, what'd you say when you threw the grenade up there?
我说"狂拽酷炫" I said, "Something cool."
你说了什么 What did you say?
-"狂拽酷炫" -我知道 具体是什么 - It was "Something cool." - No, but what'd you say?
我知道 我就说了"狂拽酷炫" Yeah, I know. I said, "Something cool."
我从来没想过春假会这么逊 I didn't expect spring break to be this stinky.
是挺恶心的 It's pretty gross.
咱们太老了 玩不惯这个了 Man, we're getting too old for this shit.
我们一开始就太老了 We started off too old for this shit.
这你倒没说错 You ain't lying about that.
胳膊受伤这件事 咱俩扯平了 对吧 Dude, we're even about the arm thing, okay? Right?
干吗 你想干吗 What? What do you want to do?
-别动 -靠 好吧 - Don't move. - Fuck. All right.
-速战速决 好吗 -别动 - Just get it over with, all right? - Don't move.
-一 -擦伤就好了 - One... - Just graze my arm.
-你可别伤到骨头 -二 - I don't want you to hit the bone. - two,
三 three.
-操 操 -该死 - Fuck! Fuck! - Shit!
-天啊 你没事吧 -该死 - Oh, my God, are you all right? - Shit!
为什么 为什么我在你身边老受伤 Why, man? Why am I always getting hurt around you?
-琴科 你干吗呢 -操你丫的 - Jenko, what are you doing? - Oh, fuck you.
-操你丫 施密特 -别瞎闹了 - Fuck you, Schmidt. - Stop dicking around.
-头儿 -祝贺你们俩 - Hey, cap. - Congratulations, you two.
你们俩成功挽救了自己捅的烂摊子 You managed to un-fuck up the situation you originally fucked up.
谢谢 Thanks.
我希望我女儿也能躲过你那趟浑水 I wish you can un-fuck my daughter,
但我就此让那件事过去 but I'm gonna let that be the past.
你俩混蛋的下个任务 Now, for your next mission,
是要去医学院 you two sons of bitches are going to medical school.
什么 What?
龙虎少年队23 医学院
这次是海外交换生 This time, foreign exchange students.
-帅呆了 -棒耶 - Awesome. - Yes!
去俄罗斯 In Russia.
什么 What?
再见 Do svidanya.
伏特加汽水 Vodka soda.
龙虎少年队24 海外交换生
下个任务 出海一学期 Next assignment. A semester at sea.
龙虎少年队25 出海一学期
龙虎少年队26 艺术学校
你们俩混蛋要去烹饪学校 You two sons of bitches are going to culinary school.
这个馅饼里有微晶片 There's a microchip in this empanada.
家传的老菜谱了 Old family recipe.
最好保密 Best to keep it a secret.
该死 Oh, shit!
龙虎少年队27 烹饪学校
龙虎少年队28 兽医学校
新任务 New assignment...
头儿 你觉不觉得施密特长变了 Cap, does Schmidt look any different to you?
没呀 这就是施密特啊 No. That's Schmidt.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about, man.
我觉得他长相完全没变啊 He look exactly the same to me.
我配了新眼镜 I got new glasses.
是啊 他只是配了新眼镜而已 Yeah, man, he just got some new glasses, man. God damn.
没人会发现的 No one's gonna fucking notice.
开始吧 施密特 Let's do this, Schmidt.
好 就像之前一样 琴肯斯 Yeah. Just like we always do, Jenkins.
-是琴科 -抱歉 - It's Jenko. - Sorry.
龙虎少年队29 主日学校
施密特 你回来我真的超开心的 I'm really, really glad you're back, Schmidt.
你说什么呢 什么合同纠纷 What are you talking about? What contract dispute?
我一直都在啊 I've been here the whole time.
伙计 闭嘴 Man, shut the fuck up.
飞行学校怎么样 How about a flight academy?
龙虎少年队30 飞行学校
卧底突然变得性感多了 Undercover just got a whole lot sexier.
龙虎少年队31 忍者学校
龙虎少年队32 火警学院
你是龙虎少年队的 对吧 You're Jump Street, right?
没错 你他妈的怎么知道 Yeah. How the fuck do you know that?
我是布克 I'm Booker.
该死的 伙计 你简直是传奇啊 Oh, shit. Man, you're a legend.
龙虎少年队之几代聚首
龙虎少年队34 老鬼归来
交通学校 Traffic school!
龙虎少年队35 交通学校
军事学校 Military school.
龙虎少年队36 军事学校
潜水课 Scuba class.
龙虎少年队37 潜水课
舞蹈学校 Dance academy.
棒 Yes.
终于有件我擅长的了 Finally something I'm amazing at.
龙虎少年队38 舞蹈学校 终于有件我擅长的了 Finally something I'm amazing at.
龙虎少年队38 舞蹈学校 当你走投无路时 你的朋友会在你身旁 Your friends'll be there when your back is to the wall
你会发现你需要我们 You'll find you need us
因为无其他人可找 'Cause there's no one else to call
龙虎少年队 玩家选项 加载游戏 开始游戏 因为无其他人可找 'Cause there's no one else to call
龙虎少年队 玩家选项 加载游戏 开始游戏 你们俩混蛋要做成电脑游戏了 You sons of bitches is gonna be in a video game.
炸点东西吧 Let's blow shit up.
龙虎街风格 Jump Street style.
到处都失控 We out of control all over the place
得有人迅速结束这一切 And somebody gotta put it to a stop, quick
走在路上 面对一切 Out on the road all up in your face
龙虎街少年队手办 走在路上 面对一切 Out on the road all up in your face
准备好一辈子当混混吧 Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers.
它在朝我嘴里喷墨 It's inking in my mouth!
不许上我闺女 Don't fuck my daughter.
龙虎街 动画片
龙虎少年队39 电子射击游戏
"别射我老二" 沃特斯先生说
好了 新任务 All right, new assignment.
花六小时妆 Six hours of makeup?
咱俩太老了 干不来这个了 We're getting too old for this shit.
漂亮 Nice.
龙虎少年队40 养老院
魔术学校 龙虎少年队41
龙虎少年队42 美容学校
有完没完了 Will it ever be complete?
龙虎少年队43 墨西哥流浪乐队 学校有完没完了 Will it ever be complete?
龙虎少年队43 墨西哥流浪乐队 龙虎少年队永不完结 Jump Street won't ever cease
永不完结 永不完结 Ever cease ever cease
龙虎少年队2121 永不完结 永不完结 Ever cease ever cease
不要走开 片尾有彩蛋 狂拽酷炫 Something cool!
艾瑞克 Eric.
艾瑞克 你醒着吗 Eric, are you awake?
没 No.
我姨妈迟了 I'm late.