早上好 一杯給你 - Morning. One for you.
-謝謝 -一杯給我 - Oh! Thank you. One for me.
你那杯好大啊 That is a very large coffee.
因為里面加了13份濃縮咖啡 It's actually 13 shots of espresso.
最近太煎熬了 我很難不把工作帶回家 It's been rough. I'm having a hard time not bringing work home with me.
你的一氧化碳檢測器檢查過了嗎 Have you had your carbon monoxide monitor checked?
我聞到了煤氣味 - I smell gas.
是嗎 你害怕你會再死一次嗎 - Yeah? You afraid you're gonna die more?
你對機器人了解多少 And what do you know about robotics?
科普個小知識 “機器人”這個詞 源于捷克語單詞“robota” Fun fact-- the word "robot" comes from the Czech word "robota,"
意思是強迫勞役 which means forced labor.
至少我們倆當中有一個 不必擔心心臟病 暫時不用 At least one of us doesn't have to worry about heart disease. For now.
我只是不認為寫訃告對我的大腦有好處 I just don't think writing obituaries is good for my head.
-我完全能理解 -是嗎 Ugh, I totally get it. - Yeah.
我不能 抱歉 我愛我的工作 - No, I don't. I'm sorry. I love my job.
這有什么好道歉的 你是生活版主編 Oh, don't be sorry that you're the lifestyle editor
有一個超大辦公室 采光好 空氣新鮮 又有尊嚴 and you have this massive office with light and oxygen and dignity.
而且 還有個奇怪的實習生 跟在你屁股后面 Also be glad you don't have the weird intern just following you around,
正在盯著你 glaring at you.
是啊 梅森 Oh, yeah, Mason.
他念了達特茅斯 就覺得誰都不如他 Thinks he's better than everyone just because he went to Dartmouth.
對一個每天要親媽接送的男人而言 還真是挺自信的 Pretty confident for a guy that gets dropped off by his mom every morning.
他們這一代人在高中時從未被霸凌過 His generation never got bullied in high school.
他們是無敵的 - They're invincible.
嗨 我是... Hey. Hi. I'm--
終將敗在我手下的另一個實習生 The other intern who I will delight in defeating.
好吧 但我不是實習生 Um, okay. Um, but I'm not an intern.
那他們為什么把我的辦公室給了你 Then why'd they give you my office?
-那個儲藏室 -是的 實習生 - The storage closet? - Yes, intern.
肯定是因為你比我年長25歲 Must be because you're like 25 years older than me
他們出于同情才這么做的 and they felt bad for you.
你知道我在這兒工作是有工資的吧 You do know I get paid to work here.
那不代表你可以搶走我的儲藏室 Doesn't mean you can steal my closet.
實習生之戰打響了 只有一個人能贏 The battle of the interns is on. Only one can survive.
再說一次 我不是... Again, I'm not a--
算了 Never mind.
還沒得到幸福 還沒準備好 還沒結婚 還沒自由
還沒圓滿 還沒成功 還沒變富有 還沒放棄
還沒長大
《老娘還沒死》 第一季第二集
本WEB版外掛字幕由 風吹來的那片云 雙語合并
我希望我能像迪娜愛沙拉一樣 熱愛一樣東西 I wish I loved anything as much as Tina loves salads.
-你有兩個孩子 -是啊 You have two children. - Yeeeeahhhhh.
-暫緩出版 -她知道現在已經不流行這么說了嗎 Stop the presses! Does she know that's not a real thing anymore?
她說這句的時候 通常是代表他父親打了電話 When she says that, it usually means that her dad has called
但對業績不滿意 and the numbers aren't good.
我剛跟我父親通過電話 I just got off the phone with my father,
報紙的數據很不好看 and the numbers for the paper are not good. - Yeah.
太詭異了 你簡直是“萊克西語言”大師 That is creepy you speak Lexi.
讀者人數在下降 Readership is down.
我們得想辦法吸引人們的注意 We need to find a way to get eyeballs on us.
我們需要抓人眼球的新聞 We need that clickety clickety buzz buzz.
社會熱點話題 Topical stories that are socially relevant.
你 你很年輕 You! You're young.
你嗑什么藥 我們可以寫這個 What drugs are you on? We could write about that.
克敏能和哮喘吸入器 根據需要使用 Claritin and an asthma inhaler, as needed.
這一點要改變了 好嗎 Yeah, well, that's going to change, okay?
我們要做一期深度揭秘 收拾收拾去《亢奮》高中了 We'll do an exposé. We're gonna enroll you at Euphoria High School.
誰給這孩子安個竊聽器 Somebody wire this kid up!
萊克西 寶貝 記住 Lexi, Lexi, babe, remember,
亢奮高中并不是真實存在的 Euphoria High School is not a real high school.
說得對 謝謝你 Oh, right. Thank you.
重點是 我們需要更好的新聞 好嗎 The point is we need better news, okay?
好故事不限領域 And good stories can come from anywhere.
迪娜 別吃你那沙拉了 Tina, leave the salad alone!
快 誰有點子 Come on, who's got something?
拜托別看我 我是隱形人 Please don't look at me. Into the shadows.
我有個主意 I'd like a chance to pitch.
不要 Oh, no.
我需要了解時下潮流的年輕人 你是寫老人和死人的 I need young and relatable. You write about old and dead.
好扎心 除非有什么隱含的意思 Ouch. Unless that translates to something else?
-沒有 -好扎心 It doesn't. - Ouch.
《南加州獨立報》
敲敲門 哇 Knock, knock. Wow.
還是那么令人致郁 This is still depressing.
那你能告訴萊克西我不僅能寫訃告 So you want to tell Lexi I can do more than write obituaries
結束我的噩夢嗎 and end my nightmare?
妹子 你知道我要是能幫你 我肯定會幫的 但我無能為力 Girl, you know I would if I could, but I can't.
但是開心點 我有一份小禮物送給你 But cheer up-- I have a little something special for you.
-讓我的辦公室空氣更清新嗎 -不是 那是墻的問題 A better smell for my office? - No, that's in the walls.
是啊 - Yeah.
我給你帶了一份新任務 I have your next assignment.
勵志演說家 珍妮·瑪弗 Motivational speaker Jane Marvel
這是她的圖書系列 《釋放你內心的老虎》 from her series Unleashing Your Inner Tiger.
這幫助我對我父親出柜 This helped me come out to my dad.
不過 我可能是用錯術語了 - Although, I think I got some of the jargon wrong
因為他以為我要加入海軍陸戰隊 because he thought I was joining the Marines.
總之 祝你寫訃告愉快 Anyway... happy obit writing.
“36步提升你的自信” "Elevate your confidence
“成為威風凜凜的老虎” and become a majestic tiger in 36 powerful steps."
“珍妮·瑪弗” Jane Marvel.
你好 老虎 - Hello, tiger.
準備好獲得你想要的成功 并對獲得的成功心滿意足了嗎 Who's ready to get the success they want and want the success they get?
天啊 好吧 Oh, boy. M-kay.
那么 你是什么人 你是我的精神導師嗎 So, what are you? Are you my spiritual advisor?
明天見 貝琪 - Hasta ma?ana, Becky. - Okay.
你是天使嗎 Are you an angel?
做真實的自己 維農 Keep it real, Vernon.
也許我就是天使 這樣更合情合理 - Maybe I'm the angel? - That makes more sense.
祝你做核磁共振一切順利 賽琳娜 Good luck with that MRI, Serena.
別過來 我受夠了你們這些鬼魂 你不能跟我回家 Thank you. Nope, I've had it with you ghosts. - You are not coming with me.
鬼魂 - Ghost?
哇 真新奇 Oh, whoa, well... that's a perk.
接下來是什么 What's next?
聽著 這位女士 事情是這樣的 Look, lady, this is how this is gonna go.
你會跟著我 煩我一到兩天 You'll follow me around, annoying me for a day or two,
直到我寫好你的訃告 until I write your obituary.
他們會刊登在報紙上沒人會看的角落 They'll print it in the back of the paper where no one will read it.
我會對我的生活產生輕微的恐慌 然后你就能去投胎了 I'll have a mild panic attack about my life, and then you'll move on.
我經歷過更詭異的情況 - I've been in weirder spots.
幸運的是 我最近結識了一位開酒吧的朋友 Luckily for me, I've recently made a friend who owns a wine bar.
所以我要去那兒 So I'm going to go there,
先來一杯霞多麗 然后慢慢喝到仙粉黛 start at Chardonnay and work my way to Zinfandel.
克里基特的小酒館 紅酒&小吃
給你 - There you go.
克里基特 我喜歡你的店 - Cricket, I love your place.
太美了 It's beautiful.
有你在這兒 有氛圍 還有酒 It's got you, it's got ambience, it's got alcohol.
我和蒙蒂是在西班牙的品酒會上認識的 You know, Monty and I met wine tasting in Spain.
我們一直夢想著開一家自己的店 We always dreamed of opening our own place.
我們做到了 但他去世了 只剩我一個人 We did, he died, and here I am.
你還好嗎 How are you holding up?
-我挺好的 -是嗎 - I'm all right. - Yeah?
我們的客戶都很和善 很有愛 All of our customers have been so kind and loving.
太好了 That's sweet.
-妹子 我都快生理不適了 -怎么了 Girl, it is getting on my nerves. - What?
我很感謝你的同情 真心的 - No, I-- I appreciate the sympathy, I do,
但我希望人們跟我相處時 別再那么小心翼翼 but I just wish people would stop tiptoeing around me,
真實一點 you know, and just be real.
真不敢相信你那么做了 I can't believe you did that--
謝謝你們的光臨 Thank you all so much for coming.
我們對你的遭遇深表遺憾 Oh, we're very sorry for your loss.
你要知道悲傷會像潮水般一波波襲來 Just know that grief comes in waves.
該死的 奈爾 連你也這樣 Oh, damn it, Nell. Not you, too.
這是個很美的比喻 悲傷就像大海 It's a lovely metaphor. - Grief is like the sea.
隨便了 克里基特 - Whatever, Cricket.
布魯克摩爾公寓
該起床啦 Rise and shine!
不 天啊 Oh! - God!
在我被送去天上那個叢林之前 Before I am sent to that jungle in the sky,
我準備最后再收你這個徒弟 I have decided to make you my last disciple.
不用了 謝謝 我挺好的 No, thanks, I'm good.
我們起床不是為了放棄的 We did not get up to give up.
你的工作場所太凄慘了 所以我希望你的家庭生活能好點 Your work habitat was pretty bleak, so I'm hoping your home life is better.
真好 健身單車 Oh, yes! Peloton.
不要低估健身在叢林里的重要性 Do not underestimate the power of exercise in the jungle.
你知道美洲豹每天以之字形的方式 行走32公里嗎 Do you know that the panther travels 20 miles per day doing a zig-zag pattern?
美洲豹吃果脆圈嗎 - Do panthers eat Froot Loops?
早上好 奈爾 Morning, Nell.
太好了 你結婚了 我們可以快進到第三張光碟了 Good, you're married. We can skip ahead to disc three.
提醒你一下 我們約好的 你要在8點前遛亞瑟 Reminder, we made a deal that you were gonna walk Arthur by 8:00 a.m.
這是你住在這兒的前提 if you're gonna live here.
-一個成年人室友 果不其然 -我很高興你提到了規則 An adult roommate. That tracks. I'm glad you brought up the rules.
我想加個修正案 把健身單車從餐廳移出去 I'd like to make an amendment to move the Peloton out of the dining area
這樣就能買個像樣的餐桌了 so that we can do a proper kitchen table.
為什么 Why?
家里有的是地方給你吃飯 你可以去臥室吃 There's plenty of places you could eat-- in your bedroom,
或是在沙發上吃 但你得在上面鋪個毯子 or you could eat on the couch if you put a blanket down.
如果你夠奇葩 可以去廁所吃 You could even eat in the bathroom if you're a monster.
或者是早餐吧臺 如果沒被你那一摞摞奇怪雜物堆滿的話 Or the breakfast bar if it wasn't so covered in your weird little piles.
不 這都是很重要的法律簡報 好嗎 No, these are important legal briefs, okay?
我在研究一個案子 I'm working on a case.
不要把碗放在單車扶手上 拜托 Don't put the bowl on the handles, please.
我的工作也很重要 My job is important, too,
但你可沒見我占用了所有用餐區域 but you don't see me hogging up all the eating area.
真的嗎 Really?
你在試圖阻止 在西南柳紋霸鹟棲息的沼澤上 Are you trying to block construction of a minor league baseball stadium on a marsh that's home
建造一個小聯盟棒球場嗎 這種瀕臨滅絕的鳥類 to the endangered southwestern willow flycatcher,
控制著水道和濕地周圍的昆蟲數量 which controls insect population around waterways and wetlands?
只要我想的話 當然能 I could if I wanted to.
奈爾 我正在試圖拯救一個物種 Nell, I'm trying to save something that's alive--
而不是寫死人的讀書報告 I'm not writing book reports about dead people.
好了 祝你今天愉快 - All right, have a nice day.
你真的就任由那顆高個西藍花 騎到你頭上嗎 Are you really gonna let that tall piece of broccoli walk all over you like that?
我沒讓他騎在我頭上 I'm not letting him walk all over me.
他有自閉癥 誠實是他性格的一部分 He's on the spectrum, and honesty is part of his personality.
我在抖音上看過科普 I watched a TikTok about it.
-嘿 -嘿 - Hey! - Hey!
我給咱倆買了沙拉 I got us salads, huh?
我想著可以在你的奢華辦公室一起吃午飯 I thought we could have lunch in your luxurious office.
我也想啊 但萊克西安排所有編輯開營銷會議 I really wish I could, but Lexi scheduled a pitch meeting with all the editors,
因為她訂的空運龍蝦到了 and she had some lobster flown in.
她認為昂貴的食物能激勵人 She thinks that expensive food will really motivate people.
確實有效果 And it does.
但我會偷偷給你帶些龍蝦的 好嗎 But I'll sneak you some lobster, okay?
《亢奮》小子 你也來 Euphoria Kid! You're coming, too!
我已經有昵稱了 - A nickname already.
薩姆 你的褲子真漂亮 進來 Oh, Sam, these pants are fabulous. - Come in!
實習生都能去 他只是個實習生啊 - The intern is going? But he's just an intern!
看來你只能跟大辦公區的沙拉愛好者混了 Looks like you're stuck in the bullpen with the salad eaters.
真不敢相信梅森被邀請了 Ugh. Can't believe Mason got invited.
-干杯 各位 -干杯 Cheers, everybody! - Cheers! - Cheers!
我剛開始到這家報社時 事業如日中天 老天 When I started at the paper, I had so much momentum. God,
如果我沒跟菲利普搬去倫敦 我這會兒肯定也在里面 if I hadn't moved to London with Phillip, I could've been in there, too.
我要把我對德莫特·馬羅尼說過的話 再給你說一遍 I'll say to you what I said to Dermot Mulroney--
“你本能擁有的一切并不重要 因為你不曾擁有過” doesn't matter that you could've 'cause you didn't.
德莫特和我走的是不同的路 Dermot and I are on different paths.
我... Oh, I-- I--
順便一說 我真是受夠了聽死人說話 Oh, God. And by the way, I'm getting really tired of listening to dead people.
那就想想辦法 Then do something about it.
拜托 你聽到萊克西怎么說了 她對我的主意不感興趣 Oh, come on, you heard Lexi, she isn't interested in my ideas.
你覺得老虎會等待一個胖乎乎的嬰兒 Do you think that the tiger just waits for a chubby baby
走進叢林嗎 to come wandering into the jungle?
當然不會 No! Of course not.
它會悠閑地走進村莊 從母親的乳頭上搶走一個 It saunters into the villages, and it snatches one from the mother's teat!
我聽到愛德華說了那個 Well... You know... When I heard about the case that Edward was working on
關于拯救西南柳紋霸鹟的案件時 about saving the southwestern flycatcher,
我立刻就想到這會是一個很棒的專題報道 I immediately thought that it would make a great feature.
是啊 把文章寫出來 一石三鳥 Yeah. Write the article. It's a win-win-win.
你有了份新工作 我能獲得最后的勝利 You get a new job, I get my last triumph,
而且你不必再跟鬼魂待在一起了 and you don't have to hang out with ghosts anymore.
不管了 Screw it.
珍妮 把我變成老虎 Jane, make me a tiger.
好的 這看起來不錯 Okay, this will be good.
我已經有一陣子沒寫過有意義的文章了 You know, it's been a while since I've done some meaningful writing.
-我能做到的 對吧 -我能做到的 對吧 I can do this, right? "I can do this, right?"
如果我不是鬼魂的話 我會一拳打到你臉上 If I wasn't a ghost, I'd smack you across the face.
你只是需要一點助力 按播放鍵 You just need a boost. - Hit "play."
好的 - Okay.
叢林 大自然的試驗場 The jungle-- nature's proving ground.
捕食者還是獵物 你的叢林是什么 Kill or be killed. What is your jungle?
那也許是你的辦公室 臥室 教堂... Could it be your office? Your bedroom? - Your church?
好吧 等等 這東西有多長 - Okay, wait. How-- How long is this?
17個半小時 讓你醍醐灌頂 17 1/2 mind-blowing hours.
我沒時間看完 I don't have time for this.
我給你提煉下精華 I'll just give you the broad strokes.
第一步 做夢就像許愿 Step one-- Dreams are just wishes.
設立目標 然后去完成它 Set a goal and do the work.
第八步 “拒絕”只是還沒搞清楚狀況的“同意” Step eight-- A no is just a yes that doesn't know it yet.
議員先生 我再問一遍 Councilman, I'll ask again--
城市的稅金有多少拿來修建體育場了 how much of the city's tax credit is going to fund the stadium?
我這樣沒法工作 I can't work like this.
我們要吸點可卡因嗎 Are we gonna score some coke?
我說的是工作空間 Oh, I-- I was talking about my workspace.
別動 - Don't move.
為什么螺絲比螺孔多 Why are there more screws than holes?
第17步 你覺得弱小時 要讓自己顯得強大 Step 17-- When you feel small, make yourself big.
你有那種加厚的衛生巾嗎 Ooh, do you have any thick maxi pads?
-我不明白那跟這個... -我就知道 去拿來 I don't see how that's even a-- - I knew it. - Go get them.
恭喜你 Congratulations!
你可以進行到第二張光碟了 You can move on to disc two.
怎么回事 What's happening?
我在寫一篇關于你那個案件的文章 I'm writing an article about your case.
西南柳紋霸鹟謝謝你 Well, the southwestern willow flycatcher thanks you,
但你為什么移動了我的單車 but why the hell did you move my bike?
因為我也住在這里 Because I live here, too.
如果你能有一輛巋然不動的單車 And if you can have a stupid bike that doesn't go anywhere,
那我也能有一張吃早飯用的宜家桌子 I can have a Flurskydur that I get to eat breakfast on.
跟你聊天真困難 It's difficult having a conversation with you
你這樣子就像三個孩子摞在一起 when you look like three kids stacked on top of each other
試圖蒙混進影院看限制級電影 trying to sneak into an R-rated movie.
1號光碟的奈爾或許會被你唬住 You know, disc one Nell would just take your honesty crap.
現在我跟你說實話 Well, now I'm gonna be honest with you.
你有太多愚蠢的規矩和不合理的期待 You have too many dumb rules and unreasonable expectations,
跟你住在一起真是煩死了 and you are super annoying to live with.
知道了 Noted.
做得好 Well done.
現在 到最后一步了 And now it's time for the final step--
利用你的所有資源 exploit all your resources.
周三穿這身真是太大膽了 I mean, this is a very bold choice for a Wednesday.
我在嘗試改變風格 I'm trying a thing.
看出來了 You're trying something.
-你好 -克里基特 - Hello! - Cricket, yes!
嗨 我想讓你認識下我最好的朋友 薩姆 I want you to meet my very best friend, Sam.
-嗨 -她幫我得到了報社的工作 Hi. She helped me get my job at the paper.
我要感謝你把奈爾帶進我的生活 Well, I have to thank you for bringing Nell into my life.
她為我丈夫蒙蒂寫了最美的訃告 She wrote the most beautiful obituary for my husband, Monty.
對你的遭遇我深表遺憾 Oh. I am so sorry for your loss.
但是記住 上帝關閉一扇門 一定會為你打開一扇窗 But, remember, when one door closes, another window opens.
-謝謝 -不客氣 Thank you for that. You're so welcome.
-同理心是我的超能力 -當然 - Empathy is my superpower. - For sure. - Yeah.
那么 我寫了一篇曝光文章 So, I wrote an exposé
揭露了球場破壞濕地事件中的腐敗行為 on the corruption around the ballpark going into the wetlands,
這是我寫過的最好的報道 and it's the best thing I have ever written.
希望你拿給萊克西看看 I want you to show Lexi.
奈爾 - Nell.
你聽到她說的了 這就是她想要的那種新聞 - You heard her! This is the kind of journalism she wants.
而且你們是朋友 And you guys are friends, yeah?
你懂她的語言 You speak her language.
你剛得到這份寫訃告的工作 You just got this job writing obituaries.
你為什么半途而廢 轉而嘗試其他東西呢 Why are you trying to rush off and do something else?
兩分鐘 兩分鐘平板支撐 Two minutes! That was a two-minute plank.
我真的沒法解釋 我需要寫點不一樣的東西 I really can't explain it. I just need to do anything else.
你瞧 我愛你 See, I love you, but it just sounds to me
但我覺得你有點急于求成了 like you're trying to skip some steps.
她不懂我們 你應該遠離她 Oh, she doesn't get us. You gotta cut her loose.
你說得對 我不該現在提 You're right. I shouldn't have brought it up.
報道什么的不重要 咱們吃午飯吧 No. The article is no big deal. Let's drink our lunch.
好啊 All right.
我們會另想辦法 We'll find another way.
嗨 迪娜 誰負責把文章上傳到網站 Hey, Tina, who's in charge of uploading the, um, articles to the paper's website?
哇 這沙拉料真足 Wow, that's a really thick salad.
謝謝 Thank you.
所有文章都要經過欄目編輯審閱 Everything has to go through the section editor
然后發到互聯網上傳工程師那里 who then sends it to the Internet upload engineer.
-我好像沒見過他們 -就是梅森 I don't think I've met them yet. - It's Mason.
今早他幫萊克西設置手機字體大小 - He helped Lexi fix the font size on her phone this morning,
然后她把他奉為IT之神了 and now she thinks he's an I.T. god.
嘿 Hey.
你看上去油光滿面的 Oh, you look oily.
是啊 我昨天吃了太多熱黃油 Yeah. I went a little nuts on the hot butter yesterday.
身體吃不消了 我的涼席也毀了 Really took a toll on my body. - My bamboo sheets are ruined.
好惡心 - Gross.
但看到你臉上的表情 讓每一口無水黃油都物有所值 But seeing the look on your face made every clarified sip worth it.
其實 我來找你就是為了這個 Actually, that's why I'm here. I mean, I--
我希望我們倆別再互相較勁了 I really want us to stop competing with each other
而是互相支持 and start supporting each other.
-為什么 -好極了 我們說好了 太棒了 Why? Cool, we have a deal? Awesome.
現在 我需要你幫我上傳一篇 丹尼斯沒時間上傳 Now, I need you to upload an article that Dennis is too busy to upload,
但他絕對想上傳的文章 but he totally wants uploaded.
這個感覺很棒 我很開心我們成了朋友 And, uh, this feels great. This feels good. I'm glad we're friends.
-你顯然是在撒謊 我不干 -什么 - Clearly you're lying. - What? I won't do it.
除非... Unless...
-好吧 直說吧 你想怎樣 -五千塊加一輛馬自達MX5 Okay, just say it. What do you want? $5,000 and a Miata.
-不行 -把辦公室還我 - No! - My office back.
-成交 -太好了 - Deal. - Yesss.
太好了 Yesss!
把你變得不那么悲慘 這個過程太美妙了 Oh, it has been a pleasure making you less pathetic.
是啊 想到你可能是我最后一個 交談的死人 感覺怪怪的 Yeah, and if you're the last dead person that I talk to, it's been weird.
我知道 I know.
體育場丑聞曝光 Oh, ka-boom!
-太棒了 你做到了 -太好了 我回來了 寶貝 - Ooh, yes! - We did it! - I'm back, baby! - Yeah!
-你干了什么 -嗯 - What have you done? - Huh?
萊克西叫我們去她辦公室 Lexi wants to see us in her office.
因為她讀了我的文章 Because she read my article?
而且很喜歡 And loved it?
她想給我升職 請我吃龍蝦 And wants to give me a promotion? And some lobster?
所有《釋放你內心的老虎》 一經售出 概不退換 Mnh. All sales of Unleash Your Inner Tiger are final.
你的文章被撤銷了 Your article has been taken down.
你的所作所為令人震驚 稍不留神 我們可能會面臨訴訟 What you did was completely egregious. One mistake, and we could have been sued.
另外 你那件外套好丑 而且你聞起來像夏天的雨 Also that jacket is gross, and you smell like summer rain.
是我的肩膀 It's my shoulders.
奈爾 你的名字拼寫是N還是KN Nell, Nell, Nell. Do you spell that with an "N" or a "K-N"?
那是什么 What is that?
這是我的機會手冊 This is my book of chances.
上面記載了每個員工在被炒之前 I keep a tally for each of my employees
-剩余的機會次數 -我還剩多少次 and how many chances they have left before they get fired. How many do I have?
五次 - Five.
奈爾 你只有一次 Nell, you had one.
這么看來五次算不錯了 That makes five sound pretty good.
-我們永遠是朋友 -好吧 We'll always be friends. - All right.
等等 - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
幾年前 我搬到了另一個城市 我搞砸了我的人生 A few years ago, I moved away and I screwed up my life.
我希望你知道我真的很珍惜這份工作 And I want you to know that I really appreciate this job,
但自從我開始寫訃告 我的思維仿佛被困住了 but since I've been writing obituaries, I've been weirdly stuck in my head
我沒有拿出最好的成績 and I haven't done my best work.
我知道作為調查記者 我能為這家報社做出更多貢獻 I know I could be more valuable to this paper as an investigative journalist.
我沒聽懂 I don't think I follow.
萊克西 奈爾的意思是 Lexi. What Nell is saying is that she thinks
她認為她能給你想要的點擊率 she can give you the clickety clickety boom,
如果你奪走了那個最后的機會 她就沒辦法證明 and if you take away that last chance, she won't be able to prove
她能寫出受歡迎的文章 that she can give you the zip to the zap-zop.
這下我聽懂了 Now, that I understand.
她為什么一開始不說明白 Why didn't she say that in the first place?
薩姆 給你加八次機會 Sam, you get eight more chances.
我能用掉其中一次機會 說奈爾是很優秀的記者嗎 Can I just use one of those chances to say that Nell is a really great writer?
她一定是 Hm. Well, she must be.
我收到了很多反饋郵件 贊美她寫的訃告 I've been getting a lot of e-mails to the editor praising her obituaries.
出于某種原因 你讓我們的讀者產生了共鳴 - What? - For some reason, you've really connected with our readers.
什么 等等 真的嗎 What? Wait. Really?
是的 而且大部分人都說了同樣的話 Yes. And most of them say the same thing--
你好像真的了解你在寫的那個人 that it really seems like you actually know the person that you've been writing about.
所以我需要你繼續做好你的工作 Which is why I need you to do your job.
除非你不想干了 那我可以劃掉... Unless, of course, you don't want it, and then I can just go right back here and--
別呀 她想要這份工作 奈爾 點頭 No, no, no, she wants it. Nell, nod.
點頭了 好了 我們走吧 謝謝你 Up and down, there we go. Let's go, let's go. Thank you.
你有沒有想過把表揚集結成書 Oh, you know what? Did you ever think about putting together a book of praises?
你有沒有想過把你那些糟糕的主意 集結成書 Did you ever think about making a book of bad ideas?
謝謝 Thank you.
謝謝你救了我一命 我就是... Thanks for saving my ass. I just-- I--
真不敢相信你愿意為了我用掉一次機會 I can't believe you were gonna give up one of your chances for me.
你開玩笑嗎 她的孩子咬了我的孩子 所以我有無限次機會 Are you kidding? Her kid bit my kid. So I actually have unlimited chances.
-好贊 -是吧 - Nice! - I know, right?
我猜...我一直執著于追求不曾擁有的東西 I guess I-- I just get so caught up in what I'm not doing
以至于我沒有意識到 我擁有的已經足夠好了 that I don't realize I'm doing something... good.
是啊 你確實有這毛病 Yeah, you gotta do that sometimes.
-真的 -我有嗎 - Yeah. You do. - I do?
你好像覺得握在手里的還不夠 It's like you don't think you're far enough along,
所以你總是迫不及待想抓住更多 so you just jump into something else.
剛才就是個例子 You just did it with this.
當初你為了菲利普放棄一切 And you kinda did it when you dropped everything
義無反顧地離開這里 也是如此 and moved your entire life for Phillip.
所以 也許是時候靜下心來 享受你正在做的事 So maybe it's time to just, like, be patient and enjoy where you're at.
-這里嗎 -是的 就在這里 Here? This place? Yes, here in this place, you know,
跟我一起 with me.
我也許會說萊克西這門“外語” 但我的母語是奈爾 Look, I may speak Lexi, but you know my first language is Nell.
-愛你 -愛你 Love you.
不用謝 You're welcome.
謝你什么 你差點害我丟了工作 For what? You almost made me lose my job.
或者 我有沒有促使你追求你想要的成功 Or did I make you want the success you got?
你快累死我了 You're exhausting.
我六個前夫中的五個都說過這句話 Five out of my six ex-husbands said the same thing.
我真的很開心能寫你的訃告 I'm genuinely excited to write about you.
是的 我們就從你第一次意識到 你有這個天賦開始 Yeah. Let's start with how you first realized you had this talent.
這可得好好講講了 我在亞利桑那州立大學上了一學期動物學 Oh, great story. So, I did one semester of zoology
我有一對不善表達感情的父母 at Arizona State and had parents that withheld love.
嗨 Hi.
讓我把宜家桌子移開 Let me move my Flurskydur.
-謝謝 -不客氣 - Thanks. - Yep.
抱歉我之前說你很煩人 I'm sorry I said you were annoying.
沒關系 我喜歡別人直截了當 It's fine. It's better if people are straightforward with me, anyway.
天啊 Oh, my gosh.
我女友總說我煩人 My girlfriend says I'm annoying all the time.
她還說訃告不是死人的讀書報告 She also says that obituaries aren't book reports for dead people,
因為那能為人們帶去了結和安慰 because they offer closure and comfort,
我從沒想到這一點 但我想確實如此 which I never really thought of, but I guess is true.
是啊 我也剛剛領悟到這一點 Yeah, um, I'm starting to see that now, too.
-我要下來了 -好的 I'm gonna clip out. Okay.
如果我們要一起生活 我們最好能加強溝通 If we're gonna live together, I think it's best that we work on our communication a bit.
我同意 I'm down with that.
希望這能幫助我理解 你的非理性和反復無常的情緒波動 Hopefully it'll help me better understand your irrational and erratic mood swings,
以及你對桌子的執念 also your obsession with tables.
-你要一直抓著桌子不放 是嗎 -自閉癥患者現在痛恨桌子 You're not gonna let the table go, are you? Autistic people just hate tables now.
-真的嗎 -假的 我開玩笑的 算我求你了 - Really? - No, I'm joking. I beg you, please,
別再信抖音的科普了 stop getting all your information from TikTok.
但是抖音...很快速 而且緊跟形勢 But it's just-- it's so quick and trendy.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hey! - Hey!
我最愛的新顧客來了 There she is, my favorite new customer.
愛德華 我想給你介紹下我朋友 克里基特 Edward, I'd like you to meet my friend Cricket.
很高興認識你 Oh, it is lovely to meet you.
我聽說你丈夫去世了 I heard your husband passed away.
我剛叮囑你什么都別說 I literally just told you not to say anything.
那真是太慘了 你仍然很健康 很年輕 That must suck. You're still fit. You're young.
你還要獨自生活很多年 也許20年 You've got a lot of years left alone. Well, maybe 20.
愛德華 克里基特 我很抱歉 Edward! Cricket, I am so sorry.
沒事 我喜歡 終于有人說實話了 No, really, I love it. Finally some honesty.
再說了 他沒說錯 我仍然有魅力 Plus, he's right, I've still got it going on.
可你卻一個人孤孤單單的 他死了 But here you are, very alone. He's dead. He died.
是啊 太痛苦了 Yes, it's devastating.
-太浪費了 -確實 - It's a total waste. - It is!
你真可悲 老女人 You're pathetic, ya old bag.
-奈爾 這位女士剛剛失去了丈夫 -我以為我們要... Nell, the woman just lost her husband. - I thought we were doing a--
你以為什么 - Thought what?
去你們的 Oh, screw you guys.
他死了 He died.
-我...你少來... -他死了 - Ah, don't you-- - He did!
-你膽子越來越大了 你知道嗎 -知道嗎 You've got a lot of nerve, you know that? You know what?
字幕翻譯 肖雪