1
00:00:01,015 --> 00:00:02,012
Is it ready yet?

2
00:00:02,013 --> 00:00:04,573
- Oh, I love clam chowder night.
- That's right!

3
00:00:04,574 --> 00:00:06,700
My clam chowder's like a good woman!

4
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,625
Hot, little chunky in the bottom,

5
00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:10,259
and goes down easy.

6
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,204
I thought that's what you said about flan.

7
00:00:13,205 --> 00:00:15,719
No, no. Flan is like a good woman...

8
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,148
Because it's sweet, jiggly,
and cheapest in Mexico.

9
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:21,757
That's right.

10
00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:24,032
I knew it was something pro-woman.

11
00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:27,222
Wow. It says in the Tribune,

12
00:00:27,223 --> 00:00:28,671
there's been another robbery in the neighborhood.

13
00:00:28,672 --> 00:00:31,612
Yeah. That's the problem with society these days.

14
00:00:31,613 --> 00:00:33,958
No respect for private property.

15
00:00:33,959 --> 00:00:35,326
Since when do we get the Tribune?

16
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,096
We don't. It's the neighbor's.

17
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,355
They said the last house
that was broken into,

18
00:00:40,356 --> 00:00:41,851
was like two blocks away from here.

19
00:00:41,852 --> 00:00:42,834
Dad, maybe we should get an alarm.

20
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:44,096
I have an alarm.

21
00:00:44,097 --> 00:00:46,196
Your room is next to the front door.

22
00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:49,574
I hear your girly scream, I'm up.

23
00:00:51,149 --> 00:00:52,593
Well, Vince and I

24
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,255
have some exciting news.

25
00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:55,902
In order to try to get pregnant,

26
00:00:55,903 --> 00:00:59,134
we are going to try something new.

27
00:00:59,135 --> 00:01:01,697
The Bouncing Cowboy!

28
00:01:01,698 --> 00:01:03,521
- I-I don't even know what that is.

29
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,506
Oh, I wear a shower cap. I crouch...

30
00:01:05,507 --> 00:01:07,213
no, no, Ed!

31
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,200
Ed, no.

32
00:01:10,201 --> 00:01:11,614
No. We are...

33
00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:14,064
we are going to go to a Fertility Clinic.

34
00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:16,106
Yeah. I'm going to manually
release my sperms into a cup,

35
00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:18,259
and they're gonna shoot 'em up
into Bonnie's uterus.

36
00:01:20,907 --> 00:01:22,714
Why do you have to do this
on Chowder night?

37
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,343
Well, because I'm ovulating,
and my doctor thinks

38
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:27,009
I could get pregnant because
I have enough Cervical Mucus.

39
00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:32,218
I meant I'm trying to eat my Chowder.

40
00:01:32,219 --> 00:01:33,939
Oh, sorry. We're just excited.

41
00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:35,573
- Eat your Chowder.
- Speaking of excited,

42
00:01:35,574 --> 00:01:38,944
- I'm gonna make love to Rosemary.
- Come on!

43
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:41,970
I can't believe you two
haven't done that yet.

44
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,426
You always told me
the two things you won't wait for

45
00:01:43,427 --> 00:01:46,262
are sex and pigeons in the road.

46
00:01:47,956 --> 00:01:49,213
Well, they loiter.

47
00:01:49,214 --> 00:01:51,871
Get your crumb, fly away!

48
00:01:51,872 --> 00:01:54,207
Anyway, Rosemary wants to wait,

49
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:57,264
so tomorrow is the one-month
anniversary of our first date.

50
00:01:57,265 --> 00:01:58,935
So I'm gonna make a little dinner,

51
00:01:58,936 --> 00:02:01,081
put on a little Billie holiday record.

52
00:02:01,082 --> 00:02:02,483
Oh, that sounds romantic.

53
00:02:02,484 --> 00:02:03,769
So y'all gotta get the hell out,

54
00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:06,765
'cause it's gonna get
loud and messy!

55
00:02:08,065 --> 00:02:10,565
Sync by YYeTs.net, corrections by GeirDM
for www.addic7ed.com.

56
00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:23,859
Hey, I'm glad
that you're watching this,

57
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:24,899
but I gotta tell you,

58
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:28,903
nobody is gonna pay
any of those women for sex.

59
00:02:28,904 --> 00:02:30,818
Their homes are filthy!

60
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:35,352
Ed, it's called hoar... ders.

61
00:02:35,353 --> 00:02:37,058
Hoarders.

62
00:02:40,648 --> 00:02:43,079
Well, still...

63
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:48,421
Where are you now?

64
00:02:48,422 --> 00:02:49,800
I'm in bed.

65
00:02:51,359 --> 00:02:53,142
Where are you?

66
00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:55,231
Uh, I'm in bed.

67
00:02:56,515 --> 00:02:58,886
So, um...

68
00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,148
What are you wearing?

69
00:03:03,012 --> 00:03:05,653
- Ed, I don't want to do that.
- Oh, come on.

70
00:03:05,654 --> 00:03:06,773
It'll be fun.

71
00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:08,061
What are you wearing?

72
00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:11,005
It's, um...

73
00:03:11,006 --> 00:03:15,086
It... it... it's just a little nightie...

74
00:03:16,477 --> 00:03:17,907
And, um...

75
00:03:20,748 --> 00:03:22,754
Nothing else.

76
00:03:24,011 --> 00:03:25,556
What are you wearing?

77
00:03:25,557 --> 00:03:28,183
Well, I just came back from the gym.

78
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,806
I was shredding my bis.

79
00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,564
Yeah. And so I'm, uh...

80
00:03:35,565 --> 00:03:38,117
Wearing a cut-off shirt...

81
00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:42,693
And nothing else.

82
00:03:45,254 --> 00:03:48,653
It's like a sexy Barney Rubble.

83
00:03:50,707 --> 00:03:52,005
Thank you.

84
00:03:52,006 --> 00:03:53,952
Want me to come over there
to show you?

85
00:03:53,953 --> 00:03:57,331
Remember, this is our
month anniversary.

86
00:03:57,332 --> 00:04:00,098
No, no, it's not.
Not till tomorrow.

87
00:04:00,099 --> 00:04:01,733
Well, technically, that's today.

88
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,279
01 in 57 seconds.

89
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:08,476
I got a digital watch.
I use it to time my reps.

90
00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,054
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
What was that?

91
00:04:13,055 --> 00:04:14,921
Reps. Short for repetitions.

92
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,107
I do...A set of 12...

93
00:04:18,108 --> 00:04:20,149
I'm lying.

94
00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:23,470
I just downed about a gallon
of clam chowder.

95
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,048
No, no. I heard something
outside my house.

96
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,596
- Probably a raccoon.
- No, no.

97
00:04:28,597 --> 00:04:31,068
It sounds like someone's
trying to get inside my house.

98
00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:33,419
- What? Don't panic!
- Okay.

99
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:35,000
You know, there have been
a lot of burglaries

100
00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:36,262
in the neighborhood lately.

101
00:04:36,263 --> 00:04:37,383
I think it's probably that same guy

102
00:04:37,384 --> 00:04:39,509
who's been stealing my paper.

103
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,576
I should have gotten
an alarm system.

104
00:04:42,577 --> 00:04:43,527
Or at least a window sticker

105
00:04:43,528 --> 00:04:45,479
that says I have an alarm system.

106
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,857
Or a dog.

107
00:04:46,858 --> 00:04:48,914
Or a sticker that says I have a dog!

108
00:04:51,644 --> 00:04:53,136
Ed! Oh, Ed,

109
00:04:53,137 --> 00:04:55,114
I think there's someone
in the house now!

110
00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:57,181
Ed! Where are you? Hello?

111
00:04:57,182 --> 00:04:58,477
- Aah!
- Are you okay?

112
00:04:58,478 --> 00:04:59,860
Oh! Oh! Oh, my God!

113
00:04:59,861 --> 00:05:01,653
My God, you're carrying a gun!

114
00:05:01,654 --> 00:05:03,829
Oh, my God,
you're not wearing a nightie!

115
00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,994
What are you doing with that gun?

116
00:05:07,995 --> 00:05:10,953
What do you got on your nose?

117
00:05:10,954 --> 00:05:12,712
Ed, what are you doing with a gun?

118
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,842
It's my gun... you've seen it
hanging in my living room.

119
00:05:14,843 --> 00:05:17,001
I thought it was decorative.

120
00:05:17,002 --> 00:05:18,926
It is! Somebody tries to break in here,

121
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,547
I'll decorate his face with it!

122
00:05:21,548 --> 00:05:23,559
What's the matter?

123
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,941
I'm sorry.
I just don't believe in guns.

124
00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:27,955
Oh, that's ridiculous.
It's right here.

125
00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:29,264
You can touch it.

126
00:05:31,117 --> 00:05:32,879
I know they exist!

127
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,698
I just don't think that everyone
should be allowed to have one.

128
00:05:35,699 --> 00:05:36,659
I mean, you came in here,

129
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,132
you could have accidentally
shot me!

130
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,994
Impossible. I'm fully trained
on gun safety.

131
00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:43,032
Look, you'll spend the night
over at my place.

132
00:05:43,033 --> 00:05:44,260
No, no, no, I'm sorry. I can't.

133
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,515
I'm not gonna be
where there's a loaded weapon.

134
00:05:47,285 --> 00:05:48,575
But you're being unreasonable.

135
00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:50,334
I've had guns all my life.
I've never had one accident.

136
00:05:50,335 --> 00:05:51,739
Well, that's how I feel. I'm sorry, ed.

137
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:52,455
And I would appreciate it

138
00:05:52,456 --> 00:05:53,996
if you would get your gun
out of my house.

139
00:05:53,997 --> 00:05:57,524
Fine. I will. I'll go. I'll just...

140
00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,002
but first, I'd like to check your closet.

141
00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:01,699
Oh, you don't have to.
There's nobody in my closet.

142
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,084
I've been here the whole time.

143
00:06:03,085 --> 00:06:05,159
That's not what I'm looking for.

144
00:06:06,796 --> 00:06:09,167
You even own a nightie?

145
00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:17,025
Wish us luck.
We're off to make a baby!

146
00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:17,833
And don't worry, Ed.

147
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:19,359
We're gonna stay out
of your way tonight.

148
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,024
We know that you have your big night

149
00:06:21,025 --> 00:06:25,038
with that poor,
unsuspecting woman next door.

150
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,142
Well, I don't think
that's gonna happen.

151
00:06:27,143 --> 00:06:30,110
We had an argument.
She thinks guns are dangerous.

152
00:06:30,111 --> 00:06:31,323
Well, they are dangerous.

153
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,428
Only if you don't know
how to use them.

154
00:06:33,429 --> 00:06:36,313
Every guy has a penis.
Not every woman has an orgasm.

155
00:06:40,553 --> 00:06:42,580
- That's not tru...
- I hear ya.

156
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:46,068
No, I just...
I was saying that I could...

157
00:06:46,069 --> 00:06:48,191
I heard what he said.

158
00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:50,023
Rosemary said
she wouldn't come over here

159
00:06:50,024 --> 00:06:51,531
if I didn't lock up the gun.

160
00:06:51,532 --> 00:06:53,558
- Well, then what'd you say?
- Then don't come over here!

161
00:06:53,559 --> 00:06:56,622
- That's totally unreasonable!
- What are you doing?

162
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:58,634
Wait a minute! Wait a minute.

163
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,583
There's two sides to every story.

164
00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,624
He's right, he's right.
What's your side?

165
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:04,407
I don't wanna lock up my gun!

166
00:07:06,284 --> 00:07:09,446
She has no right to tell me
what to do with my gun!

167
00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:14,083
Ed, do you wanna be right,
or do you wanna get laid?

168
00:07:18,442 --> 00:07:20,652
That's true. I've never been both.

169
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,132
- Vince Goodson. - Ready!

170
00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:35,990
Wow, that's, uh...
that's rather ambitious.

171
00:07:35,991 --> 00:07:37,647
Do I have to fill the whole thing?

172
00:07:38,837 --> 00:07:40,962
I hope not. That's my ice coffee.

173
00:07:42,899 --> 00:07:45,048
This is for you.
You're in room three.

174
00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,329
There'll be material in there
to help you.

175
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:48,808
Material?

176
00:07:48,809 --> 00:07:51,025
Adult material.

177
00:07:51,761 --> 00:07:53,462
Adult material? I...

178
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,652
porn? Just put your junk in the cup.

179
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:03,067
Okay, well...
guess I'm gonna go, uh...

180
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,246
Do the deed.

181
00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:08,216
You're gonna be okay.
I know you can do this.

182
00:08:08,217 --> 00:08:09,121
Think of it this way...

183
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:12,503
it's like you've been practicing
for this your whole life.

184
00:08:17,342 --> 00:08:19,089
- Fill this out, please.
- Okay.

185
00:08:19,912 --> 00:08:23,002
So, uh...How'd you get into
this line of work?

186
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,811
Well, my mother collected semen,

187
00:08:24,812 --> 00:08:27,282
and her mother before her.

188
00:08:34,977 --> 00:08:37,200
- Bonnie.
- Wow, that was fast.

189
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:39,000
Even for you.

190
00:08:40,614 --> 00:08:41,824
No, I...

191
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:45,620
I-I didn't do anything.

192
00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:48,197
The pornography in there is filthy.

193
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:49,670
I mean...

194
00:08:49,671 --> 00:08:51,130
Really filthy.

195
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,351
I mean, I'm talking
Japanese businessman filthy.

196
00:08:55,249 --> 00:08:57,579
- Yikes!
- Yeah, it just doesn't...

197
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,149
It doesn't feel right
trying to make our baby

198
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:00,963
while watching that stuff.

199
00:09:00,964 --> 00:09:02,393
Can't you use your imagination?

200
00:09:02,394 --> 00:09:03,104
I can't!

201
00:09:03,105 --> 00:09:05,892
I've got the Jeopardy! theme song
stuck in my head.

202
00:09:07,108 --> 00:09:09,706
All I see is Alex Trebek.

203
00:09:09,707 --> 00:09:12,340
And that only gets me so far.

204
00:09:14,432 --> 00:09:15,696
Sure wish you could help me.

205
00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:17,164
Well, honey, I'm not allowed
in the room with you.

206
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:21,574
Maybe you could stand by the door
and talk me through it.

207
00:09:21,575 --> 00:09:24,448
You mean talk about stuff,
you know, that we would do?

208
00:09:24,449 --> 00:09:27,572
Yeah. You and me.
You, me, and the nurse.

209
00:09:27,573 --> 00:09:29,332
- Whatever.
- Please don't, please don't.

210
00:09:30,097 --> 00:09:31,253
You go ahead. I'll put this down.

211
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:32,469
I'll meet you there.

212
00:09:40,885 --> 00:09:43,314
Hey, Vince.

213
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:45,237
Hey, big baby.

214
00:09:45,238 --> 00:09:48,029
Yeah. I called you a baby.

215
00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:51,036
'Cause you're a big, sexy baby.

216
00:09:51,904 --> 00:09:55,456
And you been a bad boy!

217
00:09:55,457 --> 00:09:57,587
Ma-mama's gonna spank you.

218
00:09:57,588 --> 00:10:00,781
You like when mama spanks you,
don't you?

219
00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:01,814
Don't you, Vince?

220
00:10:01,815 --> 00:10:02,604
- What?
- Huh?

221
00:10:02,605 --> 00:10:04,218
- Hi.
- Aah!

222
00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:05,851
What are you doing?

223
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:06,773
I was just getting a glass of water.

224
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,463
Besides, they switched me to room six.

225
00:10:08,464 --> 00:10:11,546
Lady, you can't stop now.

226
00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:15,616
Perv!

227
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:17,065
Go! Go!

228
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:19,999
- What are we gonna do.
- I don't know.

229
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,343
I just wish we had some regular,
old-fashioned erotic cinema.

230
00:10:24,344 --> 00:10:26,635
- Where are we gonna get that?
- I don't know, I...

231
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:28,857
hey, who do we know who's available

232
00:10:28,858 --> 00:10:31,485
in the middle of the day
and knows a lot about porno?

233
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:34,282
- Go for the H-dog.

234
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,514
Henry?

235
00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,181
Don't move.

236
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:01,128
Oh, my God, Ed!

237
00:11:01,129 --> 00:11:02,846
Oh, Ed, I can't believe
you were robbed.

238
00:11:02,847 --> 00:11:04,500
Are you okay? Are you hurt?

239
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:06,114
No, no, I'm fine.

240
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:09,084
He cleaned me out, Rosemary.
Bastard cleaned me out.

241
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,700
Oh, that's terrible.
Oh, that's just so terrible.

242
00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:14,100
That's... that's just...

243
00:11:14,101 --> 00:11:16,162
pretty much looks the same.

244
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:20,636
Well, look closer.
See the... the collage...

245
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:23,058
Of wooden seagulls
on the fireplace hanging?

246
00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:23,905
They're gone.

247
00:11:23,906 --> 00:11:25,893
The tennis lithograph
in the bathroom... gone.

248
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:30,056
The "I heart Miami" mug... gone!

249
00:11:31,238 --> 00:11:32,784
Well, I'm pretty sure
you can replace the mug.

250
00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:34,774
It was filled with pennies!

251
00:11:36,385 --> 00:11:38,036
- Did he take anything else?
- Nothing important.

252
00:11:38,037 --> 00:11:40,712
Henry's computer, flat screen, iPad,

253
00:11:40,713 --> 00:11:42,378
but nothing important.

254
00:11:43,176 --> 00:11:44,284
Then he left.

255
00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:45,855
Ed, I... I'm so sorry.

256
00:11:45,856 --> 00:11:46,691
Yeah, me too.

257
00:11:46,692 --> 00:11:49,266
See, this wouldn't have happened
if my gun was here!

258
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,654
Well, if it had been here,
someone could have been shot.

259
00:11:51,655 --> 00:11:53,758
Yes! The guy who robbed me.

260
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,035
Do you see the importance
of having a gun in the house?

261
00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:58,263
No, I don't.

262
00:11:58,264 --> 00:11:59,755
I don't think it's worth
shooting someone

263
00:11:59,756 --> 00:12:01,012
over a mug of pennies.

264
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:03,528
There was nickels and dimes
in there too!

265
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,137
Didn't mention it because

266
00:12:06,138 --> 00:12:08,448
I'm trying hard not to be mad at you.

267
00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:09,586
Why would you be mad at me?

268
00:12:09,587 --> 00:12:11,923
'Cause this is all your fault!

269
00:12:11,924 --> 00:12:15,959
If you had slept with me
when I asked you...

270
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:20,048
We wouldn't be having
this conversation.

271
00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:22,754
I'm having a hard time following you.

272
00:12:22,755 --> 00:12:25,191
If you and I had slept together
after our first date

273
00:12:25,192 --> 00:12:27,289
like normal human beings...

274
00:12:28,864 --> 00:12:30,472
I would have been at your house.

275
00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:31,864
Why would you have been at my house?

276
00:12:31,865 --> 00:12:34,159
Because your sheets are fresh and clean!

277
00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:38,680
My bed is littered with saltine crackers!

278
00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:41,323
My house would have been locked.

279
00:12:41,324 --> 00:12:42,650
The gun would have been on the rack.

280
00:12:42,651 --> 00:12:45,589
And I would have been
a happy, Bouncing Cowboy!

281
00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:50,485
So basically you're saying

282
00:12:50,486 --> 00:12:53,494
you got robbed because I'm not a slut.

283
00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:55,276
N...Yes.

284
00:12:57,761 --> 00:12:59,386
Gee, gosh, I'm sorry, Ed...

285
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:02,464
I'm not a slut, and I don't like guns.

286
00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:04,705
Then we have nothing in common.

287
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:08,893
Well, then maybe
we shouldn't be together.

288
00:13:08,894 --> 00:13:11,093
Maybe we shouldn't.

289
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:14,173
- God, you are so stubborn.
- And you're a tight-ass.

290
00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:19,852
Well, this is one tight ass

291
00:13:19,853 --> 00:13:22,786
you will not be seeing anytime soon.

292
00:13:33,824 --> 00:13:35,949
Okay. So I found a video store,

293
00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:38,366
which was not easy, and they rent porn.

294
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:41,041
Apparently, nobody here
has ever heard of the Internet.

295
00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:42,780
So what exactly am I looking for?

296
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,292
Okay, well, look, we're
trying to make a baby here,

297
00:13:44,293 --> 00:13:46,772
so I need something
tasteful and beautiful.

298
00:13:46,773 --> 00:13:48,688
Girl on girl.

299
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,457
No, no, no!

300
00:13:51,295 --> 00:13:52,723
Maybe.

301
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,583
Not porny porn.

302
00:13:56,584 --> 00:13:57,942
Don't worry, I'll just get you
a bunch of...

303
00:13:57,943 --> 00:14:01,407
- Henry? - Oh, my God, Rebecca!

304
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,859
Hmm. Sounds like a good one.

305
00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:07,379
He's getting us, oh, my God, Rebecca.

306
00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:12,500
Wow! I haven't seen you
since...Camp!

307
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,315
That's right! Camp log n' twig!

308
00:14:17,118 --> 00:14:18,634
Log n' twig?

309
00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:20,901
I don't know. Sounds kinda gay.

310
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,275
You know, I like the whole
summer camp area.

311
00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:26,877
Go in that direction.

312
00:14:26,878 --> 00:14:29,404
- I'm sorry, a-are you on the phone?

313
00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:30,870
Nope.

314
00:14:42,222 --> 00:14:45,728
- Hello? - Rosemary, it's Ed Goodson.

315
00:14:45,729 --> 00:14:49,967
Your neighbour.
You just broke up with me.

316
00:14:51,135 --> 00:14:52,839
I know who it is.

317
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,032
Well, I'm calling to say that I'm sorry

318
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:58,714
the way things ended today.

319
00:14:59,455 --> 00:15:00,936
Yeah, I'm sorry too.

320
00:15:00,937 --> 00:15:03,564
I had no right to blame you
for who you are.

321
00:15:03,565 --> 00:15:07,376
If you don't wanna be
a gun-toting slut...

322
00:15:09,538 --> 00:15:11,745
You must have your reasons.

323
00:15:13,427 --> 00:15:16,504
Well, I... blame it on my upbringing.

324
00:15:16,505 --> 00:15:18,915
I had two parents who loved me.

325
00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,882
We all have our demons.

326
00:15:24,063 --> 00:15:25,088
Anyway, if it's all the same to you,

327
00:15:25,089 --> 00:15:27,728
I'd like to remain friends.

328
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,954
Yeah. I'd like that too.

329
00:15:30,955 --> 00:15:32,499
Good.

330
00:15:34,664 --> 00:15:36,922
So what are you wearing?

331
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,356
Ed, what...

332
00:15:39,357 --> 00:15:40,588
what are you doing?

333
00:15:40,589 --> 00:15:43,678
I'm trying to initiate breakup sex.

334
00:15:58,906 --> 00:16:00,352
We should break up more often.

335
00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:02,073
No, no.

336
00:16:02,074 --> 00:16:04,317
Your body's as beautiful as I remember.

337
00:16:04,318 --> 00:16:05,596
Thank you. That's very sweet...

338
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,885
when did you ever see my body before?

339
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:10,313
We live next door
to each other, remember?

340
00:16:12,699 --> 00:16:15,198
About ten years ago. By accident.

341
00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:19,021
Couple times after that
when I got your routine down.

342
00:16:22,859 --> 00:16:24,315
Just joking.

343
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,300
Or am I...

344
00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:30,386
Um...Ed.

345
00:16:30,387 --> 00:16:31,227
Yes, my dear?

346
00:16:31,228 --> 00:16:33,212
About your gun.

347
00:16:33,213 --> 00:16:33,775
Well, listen,

348
00:16:33,776 --> 00:16:36,490
I'm gonna need at least
another half-hour, Rosemary.

349
00:16:38,526 --> 00:16:40,418
Your shotgun.

350
00:16:40,419 --> 00:16:43,067
I still... have a real problem with that.

351
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,752
You don't like guns. I do.

352
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,393
Who cares if we're different?

353
00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:50,148
Don't you see? That's the fun of it.

354
00:16:50,149 --> 00:16:51,194
Well, it's true.

355
00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:52,381
I've never made love to somebody

356
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:55,043
who rings a bell when they're finished.

357
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,881
It's an Old Navy thing.

358
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,536
Would you like some ice cream?

359
00:17:04,537 --> 00:17:07,984
I have got a '96 Breyers,

360
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,968
strawberry-chocolate swirl.

361
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:14,127
That I've been saving
for a special occasion.

362
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:16,351
- Oh, that sounds perfect. - Yeah?

363
00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:24,753
Vince!

364
00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:26,679
Sometimes think
he leaves the spoon in there

365
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,463
just to taunt me!

366
00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:33,499
I'm gonna go get some ice cream.

367
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,545
If I'm not back in 30 minutes...

368
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,014
Start without me.

369
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,552
Oh. At least maybe
I'll get to ring the bell.

370
00:17:42,170 --> 00:17:44,800
I'm kidding! I'm kidding.

371
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,568
Or am I?

372
00:17:55,812 --> 00:17:56,932
Henry's not answering.

373
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:57,977
Oh, God, he's worthless.

374
00:17:57,978 --> 00:18:00,571
All right, go home,
get the one porno you have,

375
00:18:00,572 --> 00:18:02,831
and come right back here.

376
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:07,503
Porno? I don't know what
you're talking about.

377
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:10,357
You know, the one in the cabinet

378
00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:13,952
with the door that sounds like
Chewbacca when you open it.

379
00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:18,982
Yes, I-I know the Chewbacca cabinet,

380
00:18:18,983 --> 00:18:21,978
but what is this porno
of which you speak?

381
00:18:21,979 --> 00:18:23,730
Honey, you know, the one...

382
00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,715
You get out and watch in our room

383
00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:27,347
whenever you think I'm sleeping.

384
00:18:27,348 --> 00:18:29,501
Uh...Okay, again,

385
00:18:29,502 --> 00:18:30,729
I don't know what you're talking about.

386
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,632
And...You're not sleeping?

387
00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:35,396
No.

388
00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:37,368
I mean, you looked really peaceful...

389
00:18:37,369 --> 00:18:39,701
never! Not once. Now, go!

390
00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:48,975
Ed, is that you?

391
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:57,494
Who's there?

392
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,859
Is somebody there?

393
00:19:17,844 --> 00:19:19,534
If...

394
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,473
If there's somebody there, you...

395
00:19:21,474 --> 00:19:24,399
you need to know that I have a gun!

396
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,769
Vince...

397
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:44,016
Again, I... I am so sorry.

398
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,177
Oh...lt'll be fine.

399
00:19:47,551 --> 00:19:50,481
My dad says the fingernails
grow back by themselves.

400
00:19:52,115 --> 00:19:54,485
He'll have full use of that hand
in a couple of weeks.

401
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:56,587
If it makes you feel any better,
he's right-handed.

402
00:19:56,588 --> 00:19:59,251
He hardly has any use for that left hand.

403
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:06,000
There is one thing.

404
00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:08,309
I don't know what you're talking about.

405
00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:11,068
I'm never asleep, honey. Never asleep.

406
00:20:14,274 --> 00:20:15,972
- I'm so upset. I-I-I just still...

407
00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:17,615
I still can't believe I shot you!

408
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:20,312
Rosemary, really... it's fine.

409
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,118
Can't say the same for his porno.

410
00:20:26,381 --> 00:20:28,885
It's like I can't believe I fired a gun!

411
00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:31,931
Guns don't kill pornos. People kill pornos.

412
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,055
You... you think this is funny, Ed?

413
00:20:43,056 --> 00:20:44,473
This is not funny!

414
00:20:44,474 --> 00:20:45,476
This is very serious.

415
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,401
I could have killed somebody!

416
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,696
But you... oh, never mind. I-I can't do this.

417
00:20:50,697 --> 00:20:52,643
It doesn't matter. I... we're over.

418
00:20:52,644 --> 00:20:55,325
This is over, and I-I mean it this time.

419
00:20:59,735 --> 00:21:02,063
- Were you coming or what?
- Right behind you.

420
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:07,563
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