我去关灯 I get the light.
快来 Come on!
-你在哪儿 -这儿呢 - Where've you gone? - I'm up here!
-我坐上来吧 -好 - Oh, yeah. Let me get on top. - Yeah.
你的头呢 Where's your head? Oh!
-我的蛋 你压到我蛋蛋了 -抱歉抱歉 - Oh! My balls! You're on my balls! - Oh! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
-我去开灯 -别去 - Right, I'm gettin' the light. - No, don't!
我的脖子 Oh, my neck.
搞什么 What the fuck?
你个小混蛋 You dirty bastard.
性教育 第一季 第二集
当克拉拉说她不觉得 So, when Clara says she doesn't think
你想和她做爱了 you want to have sex with her anymore,
你是什么感受 how does that make you feel?
难过 Bad.
具体点 蒂姆 Descriptive words, Tim?
非常难过 Really bad.
克拉拉 我要你专注于 All right, Clara, I'd really like to see you focus on
你的感受 what you're actually feeling.
你好 Hello.
你好 Hello. Hm.
你好 Hello.
我叫米尔本 My name is Milburn.
我是性治疗师 I am a sex therapist.
你感觉如何 How do you feel?
你今天 How do you...
感觉如何 feel today?
-我只想 -想什么 - I'm just trying to- - - Just trying to what?
-晾干我们的脏内衣 是吗 -不 - Air our dirty underpants, is that it? - No!
今晚是浪漫喜剧之夜 So, it's rom-com night.
我在想可以看80年代的茱莉亚·罗伯茨 I'm thinking 1980s Julia Roberts
或者21世纪初期的凯特·哈德森 or early noughties Kate Hudson.
-你想看哪个 -妈 什么 - What's your preference? - Mum, what...
一个好的治疗师需要具有什么品质 What makes a good therapist?
纯属好奇 Just curious.
这个 Well...
有的治疗师因为错误的原因进入了这行 I guess some therapists get into it for the wrong reasons.
他们是为了钱或者社会地位 They do it for money or status.
他们把这当做事业而不是使命 They think of it as a... career rather than a vocation.
但这就是份工作而已 But it... it's just a job.
当然 Sure.
在这份工作中 说错一个词就可能引起精神崩溃 A job where one wrong word could trigger a nervous breakdown,
造成数十年的心理创伤 resulting in decades of emotional damage.
一个好的治疗师 优秀的治疗师 A good therapist, a, you know... A "Good" Therapist,
能明白责任的重要性 I guess understands the weight of that responsibility.
-听着很复杂 -这是种精密的平衡 - That sounds intense. - Well, it's a fine balance,
聆听他人的故事 listening to people
但是不要让自己进入他们的现实 without inserting yourself into their reality.
所以重点不在于你 So it's not about you.
没错 Mm. Exactly.
更重要的是 看罗伯茨还是哈德森 And more importantly, Roberts or Hudson?
罗伯茨 Um... Roberts.
那就看罗伯茨 Okay. Roberts it is.
你打了领带 You're wearing a tie.
是的 Yeah, I suppose I am.
今晚艾米·G要在家开派对 It's Aimee G's house party tonight.
所以呢 Yeah, and?
所以呢 显然上次战锤汤姆喝了14杯野格炸彈 And? Apparently, last time, Warhammer Tom drank 14 Jagerbombs
差点淹死在她的热水浴缸里 and nearly drowned in her hot tub.
我们需要受到邀请 We need an invite!
你不是放弃高中了吗 I thought you'd given up on sixth form.
你是金鱼记忆力吗 You have the memory of a goldfish.
一条永远乐观的金鱼 An eternally optimistic goldfish.
那是谁 Who's that?
-你好 欧帝斯 -你好 - Oh, hello, Otis! - Hi.
是我妈最近的战利品之一 It's one of my mum's recent conquests.
可怜虫 Poor guy.
你好 Hello...
-哈里 -哈里 抱歉 我不太会记名字 - Harry. - Harry. Sorry. I'm bad with names.
有 有什么能帮你的 哈里 Wha- What can I do for you,Harry?
我刚好经过 Well, I was just passing through.
我想着我们可以一起吃顿早餐 I thought maybe we could pop and get a bit of breakfast together.
前晚上我聊得很愉快 I-- I had a good time the other night.
很难找到一个能真正倾听你的女人 It's so rare to find a woman who really listens, you know.
这样 I see.
我马上要开一个阴道研讨会 I'm about to teach a vagina workshop.
所以是不行吗 So... no?
-今晚呢 吃晚餐 -我晚上有事 - How about tonight then? Dinner? - I've got plans tonight.
-这周某个时间 -听着 哈里 - Sometime this week? - Look, Harry,
我很抱歉要是我给了你错误的印象 I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
我不想和任何人约会 I'm not interested in dating anyone.
我要忙工作 养儿子 I'm extremely busy with work and raising my son,
我生活里没有空间 and I just have no room in my life
留给你想要的那种亲密关系 for the kind of intimacy that you are clearly craving.
但我很欣赏你的直接和勇气 But I really commend you on your directness and your bravado
我真心希望你能找到你想要的 and I really hope that you find what you're looking for.
再见 Goodbye, now.
你今天真奇怪 You're particularly odd today.
谁啊 Who is it?
-嗨 -我是梅芙 - Hi. - Hey, it's Maeve.
-梅芙 你好 -我们得谈谈 - Maeve, hi. - We need to talk.
是的 Yes...
-喂 -求救 - Hello? - Help.
-梅芙·怀利给你打电话 -喂 欧帝斯 - Maeve Wiley is calling you? - Hello, Otis?
是的 不 -你为什么不 - Yes. No! - Why would you not- -
-不要 -你怎么不开心 - No, no, no! - Why aren't you excited?
-喂 -放下 - Hello? - Put it down!
-你干什么 -喂 - What are you- - - Hello?
好的 Okay...
解释下 Uh, explain?
我做了蠢事 I did something stupid.
梅芙叫我搞一个性治疗的小组 Maeve asked me to set up this sex therapy thing
帮助学生解决他们的问题 以此赚钱 我答应了 to help students with their problems, for money, and I agreed,
我现在有点后悔了 and I'm thinking I shouldn't have,
因为我很困惑 还很热 'cause I'm all confused, and... and hot.
-她想让你当性治疗师 -是的 - She wants you to be a sex therapist? - Yes.
-但你都不会手淫 -我知道 我16岁了 - But you can't wank! - I know, and I'm 16 years old,
我感觉黏糊糊的 and I feel clammy...
-头晕发热 -好吧 冷静一点 - I'm all dizzy and hot. - Okay, okay. Okay, take a chill pill.
想想吧 也许会很棒 So think about it. This could be awesome.
性治疗师 A sex therapist.
知识就是力量 力量就是地位 Listen, knowledge is power, power is status,
而地位就代表着红 and status means popular.
-你可以变成红人 -我不想当红人 - You can be popular. - I don't want to be popular.
我只想做一个待在角落里无人知晓的人 I just want be a guy in the corner that no one knows, you know?
他们会问"那人是谁" And they say, "Who's that guy?"
然后回答"就是个角落里的人" And they go, "He's just a guy in the corner."
等等 你想待角落里 Wait, you wanna be in a corner?
-是的 -欧帝斯 - Yes. - Otis!
你是真不想 Man, are you really saying
和梅芙·怀利混吗 you don't wanna hang out with Maeve Wiley?
-她又不红 可怕而已 -没错 - But she's not popular, she's scary. - Yeah, exactly.
她比红还要好 因为她很酷 She's better than popular, because she's cool.
她是最厉害的那种酷 And she's the best kind of cool,
因为这里还没人知道 because no one in this place even knows it yet.
但你不想跟她混 我懂 But you don't wanna hang out with her. I get it.
我想要跟她混 I think I wanna hang out with her.
是的 我也不知道 也许吧 Yes. I don't know, maybe.
-我不知道 你当然想了 - I don't know. - Uh-huh, uh-huh. Of course you do.
把领带摘了 你看着像摩门教的人 Now lose the tie. You look like a Mormon.
听着 你要假装下去直到你成功为止 Listen, you're gonna have to fake it until you make it.
你能做到吗 Can you do that?
好 Yes.
好的 我们开始新的一天吧 Okay. Now let's get on with our day.
胆小鬼 Hey, piss-flaps.
-你手机出问题了吗 -我没手机 - Something wrong with your phone? - I don't have a phone!
什么 我有的 只不过坏了 对吧 What? I do. It's broken, right?
接不到电话 我得拿去手机零售店那里修 The reception. I need to get it fixed at the Carphone Warehouse.
幸好在保修期内 Thank goodness for insurance. Whew!
住嘴 Stop speaking.
我找了个客户 Found us a client.
真好 真的太棒了 Okay. Whew! Great, fantastic.
课间休息时到厕所找我进行治疗 Meet me in the toilets at break for the session.
抱歉 等等 课间休息 今天 Sorry. Wait. Break? Today?
是的 可以吗 Yeah. Is that okay?
可以 Yes.
我们没有正式见过面 我是 Um... We've never officially met. I'm, um...
我可以说是埃里克最好的朋友 I'm Eric, his numero uno, so to speak.
你扣子错位了 Your buttons are done up wrong.
这是潮流 简约穿搭风 It's a new look. It's like normcore...
故意扣错位的 but with buttons done up wrong.
真潮 How fabulous.
别迟到了 Don't be late.
我的天 我们刚刚和梅芙·怀利说话了 Oh, my God! We just spoke to Maeve Wiley!
我的天 Oh, my God!
我们要走了 赶紧走 Okay, we need to go. We need to go now. Now!
-早上好啊 菊花哥 -抱歉 亚当 - Good morning, ass bandit! - Sorry, Adam.
我妈不让我跟你一起玩了 Mum says I can't hang out with you anymore.
为什么 Why not?
她说你... 你是性变态 She says you're... you know, a... A sex pervert.
艾米的派对上见 兄弟 See ya at Aimee's party, man!
记住了 所有这些化学物质都是极易燃烧的 Remember, all of these chemicals are highly flammable, okay?
老师 我们去年和穆尔豪斯老师做过这个实验 Sir, we did this experiment last year with Mr. Moorhouse.
那你是专家了 是吗 特林布尔 Well, then, you'll be a expert, won't you, Trimble?
继续做实验吧 谢谢 Just get on with it, please. Thank you.
为什么不邀请我去你的派对
我们结束了 亚当 We're finished, Adam.
为什么
-一直假装直到成功 假装 -想想强大的人 - Fake it till I make it. Fake it... - Think of someone strong.
-像普金 碧昂斯 -你把他带来做什么 - Like Putin. Or Beyonce. - What'd you bring him for?
他去哪我就跟去哪 Uh, where he goes, I go.
随便了 她在里面 Ugh. Whatever. She's in there.
作呕反射问题 她吐在了她男朋友鸡巴上 Gag reflex problems. She vommed on her boyfriend's penis.
好羞耻啊 Scandalous.
-我得看着她吗 -不 - Do I have to look at her? - No.
把这个当作忏悔 Think of it like confession.
你还在等什么 What are you waitin' for?
-你别进去 -抱歉抱歉 - No. - Sorry! Sorry.
好了 Right...
你好 Hello?
你好 我是你今天的治疗师 Hello, I'm your therapist today.
-你有什么需要帮助的 -这真诡异 - How... might I serve you? - This is weird.
我们不能面对面说话吗 Can't we just talk face to face?
不行 我们不能见到对方 No, we shouldn't see each other.
我怎样才能帮助你 How can-- How can I help you?
梅芙没跟你说吗 我不想再说了 Didn't Maeve tell you? I just-- I don't wanna say it again.
说了 说了 你... Yes! Yes, you, uh...
你口交的时候遇到了问题 You encountered some problems during fellatio,
这让你胃内容物上涌 对吧 which resulted in you experiencing a bout of emesis, correct?
-胃内容物上涌 -就是呕吐 - Emesis? - Uh, vomiting.
是的 我吐在他鸡巴上了 Yeah, I puked on his dick, all right?
他说我再也不该给他口交了 He says I shouldn't give BJs anymore.
但如果我不给他口交 他就不给我口交 But if I don't go down on him, he won't go down on me.
所以我该怎么办 该怎么办 So what do I do? What do I do?
这个嘛 Well...
人类的性行为比你想象的要丰富得多 human sexuality is far more varied than you might realize,
每个人的经历都是独一无二的 and each person has a history of unique experiences,
这将会体现在 which translates into their
他们与所选的某个 connection with a chosen sexual partner,
或多个性伴侣的关系上 or, indeed, partners.
-什么 -这个 - What? - Well,
你知道吗 人类 did you know that humans are
并不是唯一会口交的物种 not the only species to perform fellatio?
我们已经知道蝙蝠 Bats have been know to
-会参与 -蝙蝠和我有什么关系 - partake-- - What do bats have to do with any of this?
我有次在动物园看见一只灰鼠给自己口交 Well, at the zoo, I once saw a chinchilla fellate itself...
喂 Hello?
你忘记付钱了 Oi, you forgot to pay.
我才不会付钱给里面那个神经病撒尿 I am not paying for that psycho in there to take the piss.
我不知道为什么一开始要相信你 I don't know why I trusted you in the first place.
-你欠我的 -随便了 荡妇 - You owe me. - Whatever, slag.
你到底做了什么 What the hell did you do?
我可能说了灰鼠口交的事情 I might have said something about chinchillas giving blow jobs.
抱歉 我太紧张了 I'm sorry, I got nervous.
你是给建议 不是吓别人 You give advice, not traumatize people.
我是想说为了确认 Okay, well, I was going to say that to properly identify
她为什么会在口交的时候胃内容物上涌 why she experienced emesis during fellatio,
我需要更深入理解 I would need a more accurate
她的社交以及性历史 understanding of her social and sexual history.
但她走了 But she left.
-胃内容物上涌是什么 -就是呕吐 - What the hell is emesis? - You know, vomiting!
那个可怜的姑娘就是想知道怎么口交 That poor girl just wanted to know how to suck a dick.
问题是 我觉得我根本 Well, thing is, I don't think
不擅长做治疗师 I'm very good at this whole therapy thing.
不是的 我见你做过的 你就像是 That's not true. I've seen you do it. You're like some sort of...
奇怪的性专家 strange sex savant.
很诡异 但很厉害 It's weird, but impressive.
我们要找到更多的客户 We need to find some more clients.
而你需要加强你的沟通能力 And you need to work on your delivery skills.
下次试着像一个正常的16岁的人说话 好吗 Try speaking like a normal 16-year-old next time, all right?
希望奥利维亚不会告诉别人 Let's hope Olivia doesn't tell anyone.
她对你真的很失望 She's really disappointed in you.
梅芙 我想操灰鼠 能帮帮忙吗 Hey, Maeve! I wanna fuck a chinchilla. Can you help?
我想她可能已经告诉别人了 Yeah, I think she may have told people.
任何不能摧毁你的东西 都将使你更加强大 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
凯莉·克莱森[美国歌手] 诗人 Ah! Kelly Clarkson! Poet.
-是尼采说的 -我没事 - Nietzsche. -I'm all right!
你妈妈是怎么得到客户资源的 How does your mum get clients, then?
口耳相传吧估计 Word of mouth, I guess.
需要客户口碑 但我们只有过一个客户 Client testimonials. But we've only had one other client.
还有别的想法吗 Any other ideas?
你知道派恩兰购物中心的椒盐卷饼店吗 You know the pretzel place in Pineland Shopping Center?
每次他们让你免费品尝的时候 你会怎样做 Every time they give you a free sample, what do you do?
很显然你会买一个椒盐卷饼 You buy a pretzel, obviously!
大家不信任你的产品 People don't trust your product
是因为他们还没试过 because they haven't tried it yet.
产品小样 Product samples.
真是个好主意 That's actually a good idea.
你今晚有什么安排 What you doing tonight?
和我妈妈一起看茱莉亚·罗伯茨的电影选集 Watching a selection of Julia Roberts movies with my mum.
他开玩笑的 为什么这么问 Hah! He's kidding. Why do you ask?
我们要去个青少年做爱很多的地方 We need to go somewhere teenagers have a lot of sex.
科学楼A栋后面的小树林 The bushes behind Science Block A?
艾米的家庭派对 Aimee's house party.
好好打扮一下 男孩们 Put your good shirts on, boys.
开派对咯 It's party time.
我们刚刚被邀请去派对了 We just got invited to a party!
-被邀请了 -我不想去 - An invite! An invite! - I don't want to go!
-我看起来怎么样 -像个蜜桔 - How do I look? - Like a satsuma.
-这是单色系 -我姑且相信你 - It's monochrome. - I'll take your word for it.
-我看起来还好吗 -你看起来就像欧帝斯 - Do I look all right? - You look like Otis.
这是好事还是坏事 Is that a good or a bad thing?
都不是 你看上去就像欧帝斯 Well, neither, you just look like Otis.
你以前从没问起过你的长相 You've never asked me about your appearance before.
这是因为梅芙吗 Is this the Maeve effect, perchance?
我讨厌这件衬衫也讨厌人群 还讨厌派对 I hate this shirt and I hate crowds. I hate parties.
-埃里克 我不想去了 -我们必须去 - Eric, I don't wanna go. - Uh, we have to go!
我们上学这么久一直都在等待这样的派对 We've been waiting our entire school lives for this.
那是你 我可不在乎 Speak for yourself. I don't care.
梅芙在乎 所以... Well, Maeve cares, so...
你干什么 What are you doing?
-埃里克 小心... -嘿 - Eric, just be careful with... - Hey!
听着 你得放松一下 Look. You need to loosen up.
我不会跳舞 I don't dance.
那留着这么多唱片干什么 What's the point of having all this music, then?
用来听啊 静静地坐着享受音乐 To listen to. I sit very still and I appreciate the music.
来吧 你知道你想跳的 Come on, you know you want to.
不要跳舞 There will be no dancing.
舞动 Dancey!
舞动 舞动 舞起来 这就对了 Dancey-dancey-dancing! That's right!
停下 好吧 好吧 我去 Stop! Okay, okay, I'll go.
-看 好吧 拜托 -等等 - Look. Okay, come on, come on. - Wait!
这就是你的造型 It will be your thing.
帽子男 The Hat Man.
走吧 我们会惊艳全场的 快走 快走 Hey! Come on, we're gonna slay! Come! Come, come, come.
亲爱的 你戴了顶帽子 Darling, you're wearing a hat.
而且我全身都是橙色的 And I'm all orange!
是的 我看到了 Yes, I can see that.
埃里克 你要加入我们的电影之夜吗 You joining us on movie night, Eric?
不 实际上 我们要出去 Yeah, actually, we're going out.
-你们要去哪里 -不去哪儿 - Oh. Where are you going? - Nowhere.
是派对 总算有人邀请我们去真正的派对了 A party! An actual party that we have actually been invited to.
-严格来说不算被邀请 -谁的派对 - Not technically invited. - Whose party?
-没人 -说出来吧 艾米·吉布斯 - No one's. - Share. Aimee Gibbs!
她是学校最受欢迎的女生之一 She's, like, one of the most popular girls in school.
你擦了须后水 欧帝斯 You're wearing aftershave, Otis.
今晚要见什么特别的人吗 Is there someone special that you're going to meet tonight?
好吧 有个女生... Well, there's this girl...
不 就是派对而已 No, it's just a party.
正常派对 其实很无聊 绝对纯洁 Very normal. Boring, in fact. Utterly platonic.
好吧 如果你们今晚要嗑药 Right. Well, if you're going to do drugs tonight,
记住别分开 remember to buddy up.
-妈 -要互相照顾哦 - Mum! - And look after one another.
我去帮你们拿些避孕套 Let me get you some condoms.
不 谢了 妈妈 再见 No! Thanks, Mum. Bye.
来了 Comin'.
你知道乔纳森对噪音很敏感的 You know Jonathan is sensitive to loud noise.
对不起 辛西娅 我把声音关小点 Sorry, Cynthia, I'll turn it down.
还有... And also...
我可不是慈善机构 亲爱的 I wish I was a charity, love.
听着 我说过星期一会给你钱 好吗 Look, I said I'll have the money by Monday, all right?
你没事吧 You all right?
希望你不是怀孕了 Let's hope you're not pregnant.
布朗家的乡村杂货店
我还要一个那个 I'll grab one of those too, please.
-有喜欢的牌子吗 -最便宜的 - Any preference? - Whatever's cheapest.
验孕棒
你多大 亲爱的 How old are you, sweetheart?
12岁 我也想知道孩子是谁的 Twelve. Wish I knew who the father was.
5.28 谢谢 5.28, thanks.
我的天 Oh, my gosh.
这里的厕所肯定多得数不清 Bet you they have loads of toilets.
-太安静了点 不是吗 -八点半才开始 - It's a bit quiet, isn't it? - Doesn't start till 8:30.
才八点一刻 Oh, it's only 8:15.
-准时就晚了 -那是什么意思 - On time is late. - What does that even mean?
晚就是晚 早就是早 我们现在是非常早 Late is late, early is early, and we are very early.
-你干什么 -按门铃啊 - Uh, what are you doing? - Ringing the buzzer.
不 不要 我们等有其他人到了再按 No, you're not. We're gonna wait until other people get here.
埃里克 那太傻了 Eric, that's being very silly.
欧帝斯 我叫你别按门铃 Otis, I just told you not to ring that doorbell!
我不知道你是怎么回事 I don't know what's wrong
不 Oh, no
你... 你看起来像把屎拉在身上了 You... You look like you pooed yourself!
你死定了 You will die!
埃里克... Eric...
-你为什么要毁了我的裤子 -放开 停下 - Why would you ruin my trousers? - Get off! Stop!
你把我弄成屎蛋了 欧帝斯 你怎么回事 You'll get me pooey! Otis, what is wrong with you?
你会被火烧死被原力摧毁 我受够了 You will die by fire and by force, because I'm sick of it!
我受够了这种行为 兄弟 I'm sick of this behavior, man.
-嘿 梅芙 -嘿 - Hey, Maeve. - Hey.
你看上去好凶 You look fierce.
你看上去就像根玉米条 You look like a Wotsit.
帽子不错 Nice hat.
我觉得我们只能回家了 Hey, I think we're gonna have to go home,
因为他的裤子毁了 because he's ruined his trousers.
看上去像拉了屎一样 Looks like he's done a poo.
不 没事 我们要参加派对 No, it's fine. We're going to the party.
是的 Yeah.
现在还...早了点 不是吗 It's a bit... early, isn't it?
我们是来做生意的 We're here for business.
好吧 Okay.
为什么她可以按门铃 Well, how come she can ring it?
好吧 她不是你 对吗 Well, she's not you, is she?
开了 Here goes.
梅芙和欧帝斯
太棒了 我觉得我已经差不多弄干净了 This is brilliant! I think I got most of it off.
这里太挤了 肯定超员了 It's very crowded in here. Definitely over capacity.
-放松 你16岁了 -放松 你16岁了 - Relax, you're 16. - Relax, you're 16.
欧帝斯 你去勾搭那些还没喝醉的处女 Otis, you scope out the sober virgins,
我来搞定曲棍球队 and I'll take the hockey team.
那我呢 Uh, what about me?
-去跟安瓦聊聊 -不行 我太紧张了 - Go talk to Anwar. - Oh, I can't. I'm too nervous.
安瓦是他的暗恋对象 Anwar's his unrequited crush.
破冰的好机会 去吧 Good excuse to break the ice. Go on.
我听说他的前任已经跟他分了 I heard his ex broke up with him
因为他不肯用手指插他的屁眼 because he wouldn't finger his bumhole.
-好 -所以... - Okay. - So...
行 我去跟安瓦聊 Yeah, I'll speak to Anwar.
-那是我的酒 傻逼 -对不起 - That was my shot, you dick. - Sorry.
那个... 我在电影里见人家做过 That's... I've seen people do it in films.
混蛋 Asshole.
-记住 要含蓄 -含蓄 - Remember, be subtle. - Subtle.
去吧 做你该做的 Go on, then. Do your thing.
姜汁啤酒最棒了 Ginger beer is the S-H-I-T.
是吗 我喜欢喝蔓越莓汁 Really? I'm a cranberry juice sorta guy.
蔓越莓汁能鹅口疮 Cranberry juice is good for thrush.
你知道吗 鹅口疮 是一种阴道分泌物 You know, um, thrush? It's a vaginal discharge.
我今晚提供免费性咨询 如果... So, I'm, uh... I'm giving out free sex advice tonight, if, uh...
有人感染了性病 Anyone got any STIs?
好吧 那再见了 Okay. Um... Bye, then.
嘿 能到外面去做吗 拜托 Hey! Hey, can you do that outside, please?
不能用靠垫 And not with the cushions.
亲爱的 你们来了 Hey, babes! You came!
还有更多人要来 对吧 More people are coming, right?
可不能让人看见我们在这种蹩脚派对上 We can't be seen at a lame party.
应该是的 I think so, yeah.
-要喝点东西吗 -当然 - Do you want a drink? - Sure.
好 两杯威士忌加可乐和一杯伏特加汤力 Great. Two Jack and Cokes and a vodka tonic.
奥利维亚在节食 Olivia's on a diet.
两杯威士忌加可乐和一杯伏特加汤力 Two Jack and Cokes and a vodka tonic.
深度性爱咨询 不收费 仅限今晚 In-depth sex advice. No charge, one night only.
仅限今晚 One night only!
-仅限今晚 -对 来吧 超级优惠哦 - One night only! - No, come on, this is a great offer.
你全家都进监狱了是真的吗 Is is true your whole family's in prison?
梅芙 Maeve!
-你来了 -目前是的 - You're here. - For now.
杰克逊 我们要去试试艾米的热水浴池 你来吗 Jackson, we're gonna go check out Aimee's hot tub. Wanna join?
等会吧 Maybe later.
也许会很有意思 That might be fun.
我不喜欢泡热水浴 Hot tubs aren't really my thing.
那你喜欢什么 What is your thing, then?
复杂的女性角色 Complex female characters.
你和这里的谁勾搭上了吗 You hooking up with anyone here?
没 你呢 Nope. Are you?
再过一小时来问我 Ask me in an hour.
操 Fuck.
各位 Guys!
这派对太燃了 This party is totally lit!
什么 Say what?
你衣服真好看 安瓦 你穿着很帅 That is a really awesome shirt, Anwar, looks so good on you.
你看着像交通锥 You look like a traffic cone.
那个 安瓦 我最近 So, uh, Anwar, I had this
遇上了一件很奇怪的事 really weird thing happen to me recently,
跟屁眼有关 with, like, a... A bumhole!
-你拉屎在裤子上了吗 -没 - Did you shit yourself? - No!
不 我没有 No, I did not.
聊天愉快 我没拉屎在裤子上 Uh, good convo, guys. Did not shit myself.
你 Oh, you...
笨蛋 蠢货 白痴 Idiot. Moron. Stupid!
帽子男 Hat Man!
我喜欢你的帽子 I liked your hat.
你玩得尽兴吗 Are you enjoying the party?
-不 -我也是 - Not really. - Me neither.
我在躲我男朋友 I'm hiding from my boyfriend.
你想要点吗 Do you want some?
不了 谢谢 No, thank you.
那个 还是给我吧 Actually, uh... Okay, then. Yeah.
显然 我把他弄骨折了 Apparently, I broke him.
你和你男友分手了 You broke up with your boyfriend?
不 我把他弄骨折了 No, I broke him.
就像棍子一样 Like a stick.
他说"你为什么不想开着灯做爱" He's like, "Why don't you wanna have sex with the lights on?"
我说"我不想你看到我裸体" I'm like, "Well, I don't want you to see me naked."
然后他就一直说 And then he just goes on and on and on.
混蛋 Dickhead.
你怎么不想开着灯 Why don't you want the lights on?
因为我恶心 'Cause I'm disgusting.
凯特 你在里面吗 Kate, you in there?
我跟你说了我把他弄骨折了 I told you I broke him.
-这是谁 -不是那样的 山姆 - Who's this guy? - Oh, it's not like that, Sam.
他没威胁 他就像是爱心熊 He's non-threatening. He's like a Care Bear.
我在跟他说你是个怎样的混蛋 I was just telling him what a dickhead you are.
-好吧 我撤了 -你为什么要和他说话 - Right. Well, I'm gonna go. - Why are you talking to him?
-因为你从不听我说 -我听的 - 'Cause you never listen to me. - I do listen.
-我随时都在听 -才没有 - I listen all the time. - No!
-你不听我说话 -我受够了 凯特 - You don't listen to me! - I've had enough, Kate- -
-喂 -艾米 我是亚当 - Hello? - Aimee, it's- - it's Adam.
-干什么 -我们得谈谈 - Ugh! What do you want? - We need to talk.
没邀请你 滚吧 You're not invited. Fuck off.
亚当 Adam?
新来小子的妈妈 New kid's mum.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
人们以为我在裤子上拉屎了 People think I pooed myself.
你能忍忍吗 我们需要客户 Will you suck it up? We need clients.
埃里克 快来 Eric, come on.
我只想像正常人一样做爱 All I want is to have sex like a normal person,
不用弄断我的手臂 without breaking my arm.
我需要我的手臂做事 I need this arm to do things.
我只想在黑暗里做爱 Okay, well, all I want is to have sex in the dark.
这有什么 为什么你就是不肯接受 What's the big deal? Why can't you just accept that?
够了 够了 这样的对话没有意义 Enough. Enough! This is ineffective communication!
山姆 如果你想一边满足你的视觉刺激 Sam, if you want to tackle Kate's issues surrounding self-esteem,
一边应付凯特的自尊心 whilst respecting your desire for visual stimulation,
你就得建立明确的口头性爱 you need to establish a clear verbal intercourse.
-你是说聊骚吗 -不 - You mean like talking dirty? - No.
我意思是别再被动倾听 开始主动倾听 I mean stop passively hearing and start actively listening.
说人话 爱心熊 Speak English, Care Bear Man.
好 Okay.
凯特 你想关了灯做爱 Kate, you want to have sex with the lights off.
山姆 你想看凯特裸体 Sam, you want to see Kate naked.
但你们两个都没在听 But neither of you are listening.
你是谁来着 Who are you again?
我是谁不重要 我不是重点 It doesn't matter who I am. This isn't about me.
你们两个才是 This is about you two.
我只是 我不懂女人 I just... I don't understand women.
她 她喜欢我 她不喜欢我 She-- She likes me, she doesn't like me.
她想要我的大鸡巴 She wants my giant dick.
抱歉 我的 我的大 Sorry, my, uh... my large...
阴茎 但是她又不肯和我说话 penis, and then she doesn't wanna speak to me.
很令人困惑 珍夫人 It's all very confusing, Mrs. Jean.
叫我珍就好 Just Jean.
你值得一个了结 Well, you deserve closure.
如果感情结束了 I mean, if the relationship is over, well...
你可以让艾米给你解释 ...you could ask Aimee for some clarity.
嗯 嗯 Yeah. Yeah.
是的 Yeah.
你能帮帮我吗 Could you give me a leg up?
我觉得 要是她不想让你参加她的派对 I think, if she doesn't want you at her party,
你最好尊重她的意愿 it's important that you respect her wishes.
你真有智慧 You're so wise.
像只老猫头鹰一样 Like an old owl.
你来这儿干什么 Why are you here?
我是来看欧帝斯的 I was checking on Otis.
我还以为我父母控制欲强呢 I thought my parents were controlling.
棒 Yes!
靠 Oh, fuck.
什么鬼 Oh! Wha--Wh--
喂 Hello!
搞错没有 Fucking kidding me.
等等 Hey, wait!
别尿在玫瑰上 Not on the roses!
我父母会杀了我的 My parents are gonna kill me.
他们才勉强从我上次派对中缓过来 They've barely got over the last party.
那你为什么又要举办 Why did you have another one, then?
鲁比和奥利维亚说她们家不能举办 Ruby and Olivia said they couldn't do it at their houses.
总之我喜欢举办 Anyway, I love hosting.
你觉得人们玩得开心吗 Do you think people are havin' a good time?
-你玩得开心吗 -算是吧 - Are you havin' a good time? - I think so.
别尿在肉质植物上 Not on the succulents!
他真可爱 Oh, he's cute.
你怎么那么喜欢抽大麻的 What is it with you and stoners?
你不觉得他长得像一个人吗 Doesn't he remind you of someone?
亚当 Adam?
不 我觉得像是喝醉了的瑞恩·高斯林 No, I was thinking more like a boiled Ryan Gosling.
-不 亚当 我值得了结 - No, Adam. - I deserve closure!
所有人都进去 快 Everyone inside, now!
你可以在客厅里抽 You can smoke in the living room!
笨蛋 Idiot.
-你怎么有一股牙医的味道 -别说话 - Why do you taste like the dentist? - Stop talking.
操 Fuck!
很好 又是你 Oh, good. It's you again.
是啊 Yeah!
我听说了你的问题 I heard about your problem.
-我可以帮你 -做什么 - I can help you. - Do what?
口交 Suck a dick!
你又懂什么口交 长号男 What would you know about blow jobs, trumpet boy?
是圆号 It's a French horn!
我看过一大堆钙片 Listen, I've seen a lot of gay porn.
而且不是只有你长屌 明白吗 Plus, you're not the only person with a penis, you know?
安瓦 我觉得应该让他帮帮她 Anwar, I think we should let him help her.
好 那来吧 埃里克 让她见识下你的本事 Yeah, go on then, Eric. Show her your skills.
好 很好 不 我 我需要道具 Great. Great. No, I-- I need props.
-肯定会很有趣 -最好是这样 - Oh, this is gonna be funny. - It better be.
这个派对简直是个平庸集会 This party is a total beige fest.
嘿 放我进去 Hey! Let me in.
开门 橙色傻逼 Open the door, you orange twat.
我他妈要杀了你 I'm gonna fucking kill you!
凯特 你想先说吗 Kate, you wanna go first?
告诉我你都喜欢山姆什么 Tell me something you like about Sam.
我不知道 他睫毛很好看 I don't know.?He’s got nice eyelashes
-这好蠢啊 -山姆 我们现在在倾听 - This is stupid. - Sam, we're listening now, yeah?
到你了 跟我说说凯特 Your turn. Tell me about Kate.
你看 他觉得我恶心 Oh, see? He thinks I'm gross!
-别再这么说了 -好了 - Stop saying that! - Okay, let's just...
冷静下来 还有最重要的是 倾听 Let's calm down, and, most importantly, listen.
-这根本没用 -我们最初开始约会时 - This isn't working. - When we first started dating,
我常常会紧张说不出话来 I used to get tongue-tied and flustered.
我现在偶尔还会那样 I still get like that sometimes.
我不敢相信她想跟我在一起 I can't believe she wants to be with me.
我喜欢她的全部 I like everything about her.
全部 Everything.
你听到他的话了吗 凯特 Do you hear what he's saying, Kate?
听到了 但我还是不信 Yeah. Well, but I still don't believe it.
好 凯特 你喜欢自己什么 Okay. Kate, what do you like about yourself?
-没有 -凯特 我需要你说五个 - Nothing. - Kate, I want you to name five things
你喜欢自己的地方 什么都可以 that you like about yourself, and it can be anything.
说吧 Come on.
我曲棍球打得还不错 I'm quite good at hockey.
我会做全手工水饺 这个真的很难 I can make dumplings from scratch, which is actually really hard.
我过目不忘 I have a photographic memory.
我还有一个特异功能 Oh! I have this really spooky ability
只通过人走路的方式 at guessing which nationality someone is,
就能猜出他们的国籍 just by the way they walk.
是的 非常厉害 She does, it is awesome.
继续 再说一个 Go on. One more.
-我...觉得我的头发很好 -超有光泽 - I... think I have nice hair. - It's so shiny.
如果你不喜欢你自己 If you don't like yourself,
你怎么能相信山姆喜欢你呢 how are you supposed to believe that Sam does?
我希望你能看到我眼中的你 I wish you could see yourself the way I do.
因为你是最好的 Because you're the best.
各位 Guys!
很好 我觉得我们取得了... I mean, this is great, I think we're making...
实质性的进展 real progress.
好了 Okay.
我要 I'm gonna...
对不起 Sorry. Um...
欧帝斯 Otis?
嗨 梅芙 Hi, Maeve.
我...在这儿 I'm... here.
有点...怪 That's... weird.
很高兴 It's nice...
看到你们两个 to see you both.
再次道歉 Sorry again.
拜 Bye!
我也要走了 I've gotta go too.
好 All right.
我们改天也许可以 So, look, maybe we could, um...
约个会 go on a date sometime.
你之前想保密 You wanted to keep this a secret,
现在又想约会了 是吗 now you wanna go on a date, do you?
是 我想 Yeah. Yeah, I do.
一周后再问我一次 Ask me again in a week.
-好了 继续吧 埃里克 -好 - All right, go on then, Eric. - Okay.
第一点 Rule number one,
热情比技巧更重要 enthusiasm is more important than technique, yeah?
不要吞得太深 看着很尴尬 Don't go too deep. Looks awkward.
其实可以比想象中吸得更用力一些 You can use a bit more pressure than you think, actually,
但别用牙 尤其是带牙套的人 娜塔莉 but no teeth, especially if you're packin' metal, Natalie.
来吧 女孩们 Okay, come on, girls.
来吧 女孩们 Yeah, come on, girls.
现在一起来 All together now.
不要太深 Not too deep!
鲁比 不要太深 Ruby, not too deep.
顶端就好 明白吗 Just the tip, okay?
你今晚玩得好吗 You having a good night?
不太好 你呢 Not really. You?
实话说 不是特别好 Not the best, to be honest.
我讨厌派对 I hate parties.
我也是 到处是白痴 Yeah, me too. Crawling with cretins.
我 我给出了一些免费建议 I, uh... I gave out some free advice.
真的吗 给谁了 Really? To who?
这要保密 Well, that's confidential.
但算是一个客户 But it's a client.
不是一个赚钱的客户 对吗 Not exactly a sex-pretzel bonanza, is it?
不好意思 你今晚找到多少客户 I'm sorry, how many clients did you find tonight?
之前的事对不起 Sorry about, um... before, there.
我不知道你和杰克逊在 I didn't realize you and Jackson were--
没事 他不是我男朋友 It's cool. He's not my boyfriend or anything.
我们只是一起睡 We're just sleeping together.
-你懂的 -当然 懂 肯定懂 - You know how it is. - Sure, yeah. Yeah, ab-- absolutely.
我觉得这派对很烂 I think this is a bust.
我去拿东西 然后走人 I'm gonna get my shit, then I'm going.
再见 See ya.
妈 Mum?
老天爷啊 Oh, for fuck's sakes.
傻逼地方 Oh, shithouse!
操 Gah! Fuck!
-你在这干嘛 -欧帝斯 亲爱的 - What are you doing here? - Otis, darling!
你 我 你忘拿你的吸入器了 You-- I'm-- You forgot your inhaler.
我已经6年没哮喘发作了 I haven't had an attack in six years.
要是你发作了怎么办 Well, what if you did?
那些人会帮你吗 I mean, would any of these people help you? And...
这是非常重大的责任 That's an awful lot of responsibility to--
-你在监视我 -什么 - You're spying on me. - What?
-别无理取闹 -无理取闹 - Don't be irrational. - Irrational?
你才是跟踪自己儿子的人 You're the one stalking your son.
那个词很严重 年轻人 That word carries a lot of weight, young man.
不要滥用 Don't misuse it.
我明白 I understand...
-你可能觉得你被不正当观察了 -好了 - how you might feel unjustly observed. - Okay.
欧帝斯 Uh-- Otis!
-欧帝斯 别走 -回家吧 妈 - Otis, don't walk away. - Just go home, Mum.
如果你想搭车的话我可以等 I could wait around if you want a lift.
-那不是毛利瓜女士吗 -对 - Isn't that Courgette Lady? - Oh, yeah.
你是怎么进来的 Oh, how did you get in here?
你想干什么 What do you want?
艾米 我 Aims... I don't...
我不知道我做错了什么 Look, I don't understand what I've done wrong.
为什么我们不能和好 Why can't we just get back together?
因为你太丢人了 Because you're embarrassing.
对不起 亚当 I'm sorry, Adam.
含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含香蕉 含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick! Suck, suck, suck a dick!
-埃里克去哪了 -含 含 含香蕉 - Where's Eric? - Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含香蕉 含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick! Suck, suck, suck a dick!
什么情况 What's going on?
长号屌在教她们怎么口交 太精彩了 Tromboner's teaching them how to give BJs. It is priceless!
含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含香蕉 含 含 含香蕉 Suck, suck, suck a dick! Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含鸡巴 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含鸡巴 含 含 含鸡巴 Suck, suck, suck a dick! Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含鸡巴 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
含 含 含鸡巴 含 含 含鸡巴 Suck, suck, suck a dick! Suck, suck, suck a dick!
亚当 住手 Adam, stop!
含 含 含鸡巴 Suck, suck, suck a dick!
-含 含 含鸡巴 -冷静 - Suck, suck, suck a dick! - Calm down!
天啊 她噎住了 Oh, my God! She's choking!
-让开 -我们需要帮助 - Move aside. - Okay! We need help!
让开 让开 奥利维亚 Move! Move! Olivia!
什么... What-- -
简直是古罗马重现 It's gone all ancient Rome.
-对不起 -我的裙子 - I'm sorry! - My dress!
亚当 搞什么 Adam, what the fuck, man?
外婆 Granny!
派对 Party!
我浑身呕吐味 I smell puke.
我需要尿尿 还想吃薯片 I need a wee and some crisps.
-对不起 我不是故意... -你总是毁掉一切 - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-- - You always ruin everything.
回家吧 Go home.
你知道我们之间什么很有趣吗 Hey, you know what's funny about you and me, yeah,
我们虽然不同 但其实是一样的 is that we're different, but we're both the same.
我们只是两个没人要的屌丝 And we're just two losers that nobody wants.
他们不要我们的原因是... And they don't want us because...
梅芙 Maeve.
我们...周一重整开张 So, uh... regroup on Monday?
不了 这群人太幼稚了无药可救 Nah. This lot aren't mature enough for therapy.
这个主意愚蠢透顶 It was a stupid idea.
抱歉浪费了你的时间 Sorry for wasting your time.
回头见 欧帝斯 See you around, Otis.
燃爆了 燃爆了 It was lit. It was lit.
话说回来 你们拉到客户了吗 But, hey, did you guys manage to find any clients?
无所谓了 梅芙说这事吹了 所以... Doesn't matter. Maeve said the whole thing is off, so...
-什么 -嗯 - What? - Yeah.
我以为你们真的能成呢 I thought you guys were really onto something.
看来不成 I guess not.
听我说 谁需要她啊 Aww. Listen, who needs her, anyway?
天涯何处无芳草 懂吗 There's plenty more hot, scary fish in-a the sea. Okay?
伙计 我的帽子呢 Dude, where's my hat?
可能被我弄丢了 Um... I might have lost it.
你这个帽子男真衰 You're bad at bein' Hat Man.
-抱歉 -不 你才不觉得抱歉 - Sorry. - No, you're-- No, you're not sorry.
-看你笑成那个样子 -一点也不好笑 - Look at you laughing. - It's not funny.
像个白痴 Like a dickhead.
-闭嘴 -像个傻子 - Shut up. - Like a fool.
-好吧 -像个蠢货 - All right. - Like a h'idiot.
去把自己收拾干净 Go clean yourself off.
最后警告 最后一次停租通知
我明白你可能觉得我越界了 I understand that you may feel that I crossed a boundary,
我想给你一个机会 and I want to give you an opportunity
来表达你的感受 to be able to express your feelings.
有什么意义呢 妈妈 What is the point, Mum?
你根本听不进去 You don't listen.
你想让我听什么 What would you want me to hear?
不要插手我的生活 Stay out of my life.
好吗 Okay?
-那是假的 那是假的 -你确定不是... - That's a lie. That's a lie. - Are you sure it's not--
-长号屌 -长号屌 - Tromboner! - Tromboner!
长号屌...屌 Tromboner-boner!
-长号屌 -长号屌 - Tromboner! - Tromboner!
你知道为什么叫你来吗 Do you know why you're here?
因为我... Because I...
在亨德里克斯老师头顶放屁了 did a fart on Mr. Hendricks' head?
什么 不是 天啊 亚当 What? No! Jesus, Adam!
我刚和艾米·吉布斯的母亲谈过 I've just spoken to Aimee Gibbs' mother.
她妈妈 She's been trying to get
整个周末都在家里打扫 her mother out of the carpet all weekend.
-不是我的错 -不不 永远都不是你的错吧 - It wasn't my fault. - No, no, no, no, it never is, is it?
为什么你就不能学学你姐姐呢 Why can't you be more like your sister?
勤勉 可靠 坚韧 Diligent, reliable, resilient.
我今早刚和山景军校通过电话 I've just been on the phone to Mountview Military this morning.
这是一所非常优秀的学校 It is a very impressive institution.
别逼我 Don't push me.
明白了吗 Understood?
谢谢你
我真的很怕菊花 I'm really freaked out by bumholes.
我知道这是个敏感问题 Now, I know it's a sensitive issue,
但我听说你能帮我 but I heard you can help me out.
我可以付钱给你... I can pay you if...
我回头再找你好吗 Can I get back to you?
好 Yeah.
我觉得我撸管上瘾了 I think I'm addicted to wanking.
我现在就在撸 I'm kinda doin' it right now.
你能帮我吗 Can you help?
请不要私下交谈 No private conversations, please.
我高潮时总会想到女王 是不是很怪 Is it weird that I always think about the Queen when I come?
-埃里克 -怎么了 - Eric! - What?
性椒盐饼干 起效了 The sex pretzels! It worked!
-我们有性椒盐饼干了 -客户 有客户了 - We have sex pretzels! - Clients. We've got clients.
今天很多学生来找我 Numerous students have approached me today
希望我们能给他们做咨询 hoping to secure our services.
-而且他们愿意给钱 -接着说 - And they're willing to pay. - Keep talking.
-其实就这些了 -就这些 - Actually, that's it. - That's it.
好吧 这很好 Oh, okay. This is good.
-嗯 -非常好 - Yeah. - This is really good.
我们重新开张 Um... So we're back on.
对 对 不过厕所隔间是行不通的 Yes! Yes, but, um, toilet cubicles aren't gonna work.
我不是神父 我需要面对面与人交流 I'm not a priest, so I need to see people face to face.
我以为你不想露面 I thought you didn't wanna be seen.
是的 但重点不在于我 Well, yeah, but it's not about me.
在于他们 得让治疗感觉像交谈一样 It's about them, and it needs to feel like a conversation.
不然对双方的压力都太大了 Otherwise it's just too much pressure for everyone.
好吧 Okay. Okay.
-我来负责预约 时间安排 -嗯 - I'll be in charge of bookings, schedules. - Yeah.
-付款之类的事 -好 - Payments, that kind of thing. - Yes.
好极了 那我干什么 Great. What shall I do?
-我们可以试试... -这个... - We could, um... try... - Ah... There's...
-这个... -那个... - It's... - Well...
我们需要... Mm... We... need...
没关系 没关系 Yeah, it's cool. It's cool.
没事的 No problemo.
反正我也有一大堆事等着我去做 No, I've got lots of things to be gettin' on with, anyway.
我超忙的 超忙 梅芙 I'm super busy. Super busy, Maeve.
好吧 Okay.
不过对你俩来说太棒了 But this is so great for you guys!
这意味着什么 Um... What does this mean?
意味着我们开张了 We're open for business.
我们走 Let's go.
谢谢你愿意再尝试一次 Thanks for giving this another go.
我们来聊聊你的困扰吧 Let's talk about your problem.
我认为我们应该从头聊起 And I think we should go back to the beginning.
为什么你觉得 What makes you feel like
需要给你男友口交呢 you need to give your boyfriend blow jobs?
真的很难去... It's just so difficult to...