核心压缩算法已调试至最佳状态 The core compression algorithm is optimal.
案例测试结果很理想 All the test cases ran optimal.
维斯曼评分结果很理想 The Weissman score is optimal.
'纽核力'前途一片光明 Looks like Nucleus is optimal.
很好 不错 Good. Good.
恭喜你们 Congratulations, guys.
-太棒了 -好哥们 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, dog.
发布倒计时 第0天
开销预算
理查德 数据消化引擎已经可以测试了 Richard, the ingestion engine is ready for testing.
你看到理查德了吗 Have you seen Richard?
他在里面 他的消化引擎 He's in there, having a little trouble
出了点小问题 with his personal ingestion engine.
还没完 都一个小时了 他必须测试引擎 Still? It's been an hour. He's gotta get this done.
他带着膝上笔电进去的 就放膝盖上 Oh, he's got his laptop in there, on top of his lap.
理查德 Hey, Richard.
我上厕所时别和我说话 Don't talk to me while I'm in the bathroom please.
赶紧完事 我们得出发了 Well, snap it off, we gotta go.
我知道 我上厕所时别和我说话 I know. Just don't talk to me while I'm in here.
感觉很奇怪 It's weird.
天 贾里德一天前就从岛上回来了 Oh, my God. Jared's been back from that island for a whole day
他居然还没放厕纸 and he didn't get any toilet paper?
搞笑吗 贾里德在外面吗 Are you serious? Is Jared out there?
你不是上厕所时 I thought you didn't want me to talk to you
不想让我跟你说话吗 你到底要怎样 while you were in the bathroom. Make up your mind.
这么着吧 你走开就好了 You know what? Just get away from the door, please.
周五的时候 泳池清洁工会来 Friday, the pool cleaner comes.
-你听懂我的话了吗 -是的 -Do you understand? -Yes.
明天是垃圾回收日 And tomorrow is trash day
瓶瓶罐罐都要放在前门 so make sure all the cans are out front.
是的 Yes.
无论如何 都不许通过有线电视点播电影 Now, you are under no circumstances to order any movie on demand,
黄不黄都不行 adult or otherwise.
是的 Yes.
好了 我刚说的你有哪里不明白吗 OK, has anything that I've just said confused you?
-是的 -你妈蛋 -Yes. -Goddamnit!
我的天 你是打包了整个衣橱吗 Jesus, Cher. Are you bringing your whole closet?
我可是专业人士 迪尼希 不允许有差错 I'm a pro, Dinesh. I won't apologize for it.
我会根据场所气氛的不同改变着装 I dress according to the moods that I sense in the room.
因此 我得做好万全准备 As such, I must have options.
东西都打包好了吧 准备出发了 We all packed and ready to go?
可以开我的车去 但油钱由公司出 We can take my car but gas is on the company.
有人吗 大家都走了吗 Hello? Did everyone leave?
没 No.
什么 What?
-概念验证-
第
一
季
第
七
集
硅
谷
我不能理解 你怎么做到在车里看屏幕的 I don't know how you read your screen in the car.
换做是我 能把胃都吐出来 It makes me sick as a dog.
只要我不去想就没事 I'm OK as long as I don't think about it.
何况 明天才演示 Besides, the presentation is tomorrow.
这么说 只要你不去想 So if you just don't think about it it really doesn't bother you
车子跑在路上 还会转弯 大家都反胃 to be staring at the screen when the car's moving
-你就能无压力地看屏幕... -天啊 -and turning and you're all queasy... -Oh, God!
吉尔弗约尔 Gilfoyle.
看 我就知道不可能没事 骗子 See, I knew it bothered you. Fucking liar.
HIGH
科技博客 创业展会
虽然我滞留在岛上四天 有点耽误工作 So I'm a little behind, being stuck on that island for four days,
但我觉得我已经赶上进度了 but I think I'm on top of everything.
好了 把身份证给我 我去登记 OK, give me your IDs and I'll go register us...
你们来了 拿好你们的身份牌和手带 There you are. Got your credentials and wristbands
预演是今天下午四点 for the walkthrough at 4:00 today.
预演 Uh, walkthrough?
对 基本上就是为比赛做下校音 Yeah, basically, it's a sound check for the competition.
好吧 我们不知道有这回事 Uh, yeah, we didn't know about that.
我没告诉你们有预演吗 Did I not tell you about the walkthrough?
真是抱歉 I am so sorry.
所以才需要我来 彼得和洛恩·迈克尔斯[电视制作人] That's why I'm here. Peter's on safari
以及侃爷·维斯特[歌手]去旅游探险了 下周才回 with Lorne Michaels and Kanye West until next week
所以这次我能全心全意地为你们服务 so I can put all of my attention on you guys for once.
万分抱歉 I am so sorry.
我以为我和你们说过了有预... I thought that I talked to you guys about the walk...
创业公司交流展
先生们 欢迎来到大舞台 Gentlemen, welcome to the big show.
传说中牛逼的'科技博客'创业展会 TechCrunch motherfucking Disrupt.
好了 各位 这里诱惑太多了 OK, guys, this place is a vortex of distraction.
通常技术圈里只有2%是女性 Normally in the tech world it's two percent women.
各位 在接下来的三天 会飙升至15% Guys, these next three days, 15 percent.
简直是酒池肉林 It's a goddamn meat market.
我要你们集中注意力 I need you to focus.
我们在这里的表现关系到公司的将来 How we do here is the entire future of your company.
千万别搞砸了 Don't screw it all up now.
明天的预赛 必须让他们对我们印象深刻 We have to knock them dead in the preliminaries tomorrow
才能晋级到周五的决赛 so we can move on to the finals on Friday.
我有个问题 I have a question.
流程表上说丹·梅尔彻是我们那轮的评委 The program says that Dan Melcher is judging our round.
有办法把他从评委名单中除名吗 Is there any way to get him removed?
除非有利益冲突 Not unless there's a conflict of interest.
可能有 我和他老婆上过床 Well, there may be. I did have sexual intercourse with his wife.
怎么了 都三年前的事了 What? It was three years ago.
所以其中一位我们的评委恨不得宰了你 So one of the guys judging us wants to fucking kill you?
也许吧 我不知道他发现了没有 Maybe. I don't know if he found out.
不管怎么样 理查德 Either way, Richard,
演示时你有可能得替我去讲 所以做好准备 you may have to present instead of me so be prepared.
什么 让我演讲 不 What, me? Present? No.
也许没事 他可能什么都不知道 We may be fine. We may be totally fine.
当然还有可能我们死定了 We also may be totally fucked.
不论哪种我都会告诉你 I'll let you know either way.
我要去发展人脉了 离我远点 I'm gonna go network. Don't approach me.
展示时我不想讲 I don't want to present.
况且 展示程序还没完工呢 Besides, I'm not even done with the demo.
理查德 现在就去酒店把它做完 OK, Richard, you need to go to the hotel right now and finish.
你帮我们办好酒店入住手续了 Oh, you already checked us into the hotel?
好吧 我一个模块一个模块地检查 OK, I'm gonna do this module by module.
迪尼希 视频播放器是你写的 Dinesh, you built the edge video player
所以从你开始 好吗 so I'm gonna start with you first. OK?
你们两个布置下展台 好吗 OK, you guys set up the booth, OK?
我猜展台在这边 I think it's this way.
你猜 You think?
咱就只准备了几张传单吗 A few flyers, that's all we have?
恐怕是的 Yeah, I think it is.
你好 请问你叫什么名字 Hello, what's your name?
欢迎访问microdrone.com Visit us at microdrone.com...
'微蜂' Oh, wow, Microdrone.
他们刚拿到了1700万美元的种子基金 They just closed $17 million in seed funding.
你好 打扰一下 Hi. Hello. Excuse me.
你们是'魔笛手'吧 Pied Piper?
你们准备参加'创业竞技场' 对吧 You guys are competing in the StartUp Battlefield, right?
所有人都在讨论你们的压缩率 Everyone has been talking about your compression rate.
都说屌爆了 I mean, it is supposed to be sick.
话说回来 你一定很擅长Java吧 Anyway, you must be great with Java
我的程序一直在报错 and I just cannot seem
但我不知道怎么调试 能帮我看看吗 to figure out this stupid bug. Do you mind?
我去去就回 I'll be back.
谢谢 Thank you.
如果我们能每两个小时整合一个模块 If we integrate one module every two hours
我们应该就能及时完成 we should be in great shape...
理查德 跟我来 跟我来 跟我来 Richard, follow me. Follow me. Follow me.
-好吧 酒店见 -酒店见 -All right. See you at the hotel. -See you.
别耽搁太久 Very soon, I hope.
老兄 我只是想祝你好运 Hey, man. Just wanted to say good luck.
谢谢 但为什么搞得这么... OK, thanks. But what's with all the...
抱歉 不能让人看到我和你说话 Sorry. I just can't be seen talking to you, you know?
到处都是'互利'的人 Hooli people all over the place.
我也说不清 但我真的很适应 I don't know, man, I'm just really into
这种无所事事的生活 this whole rest and vest life, you know,
比我想象的更乐在其中 way more than I thought I would be.
我只是不想丢了饭碗 I just don't want to rock the boat.
对了 我跟你说过没 我买了艘船 Oh, hey, did I tell you? I'm getting a boat.
还雇了专人打理 And a boat guy to take care of it.
一定要雇专人来打理 You have to have a boat guy.
是啊 一定要雇专人打理 Oh yeah, you've gotta have a boat guy...
如果你有船的话 if you have a boat.
你认识那个姑娘吧 Hey, um, you know that girl, right?
好像叫雪莉 如果我没记错的话 Sherry, I think her name was.
她说你们两个是同学 She said you guys went to school together.
对 没错 Uh, OK, yeah.
我昨晚在'闲话硅谷'的派对上碰到她 I saw her at the Valleywag party last night,
顺便说一句 那派对太棒了 which was crazy, by the way,
至少去了12个姑娘 dude, there must've been like 12 girls there.
-我去 -爽呆了 -Holy shit. -Nuts.
她说你们约会过几次 Anyway, she said you guys went out a couple times
然后她把你甩了 你却死缠烂打 and then she dumped you and you became obsessed with her.
什么 她说我死缠烂打 What? What? She said I was obsessed?
是她原话 She said obsessed.
扯淡 我记得我们就约过两次 Uh, that's bullshit, 'cause I think we went out two times.
什么事都没发生 我怎么可能死缠烂打 Uh, it was nothing so how could I be obsessed? That's...
不 你们输定了 No, you're going down!
'纽核力'会把'魔尿布'打的屁滚尿流 Nucleus is gonna crush Wide Diaper.
你不该拒绝我们老大盖文·贝尔森的 You never shoulda said no to my man, Gavin Belson.
好吧 Ok.
科技博客创业展会 创业竞技场 5月16日-18日
我投资过不少刚创业的公司 Seeded quite a few new companies.
"老心得" 算是心得[交友软件]的老女人版本 Spinder. It's like Tinder but for spinsters.
老女人们的约炮利器 Elderly women looking for sex.
评委
有个姑娘到处说 There's this girl who's walking around,
我对她死缠烂打 saying that I'm obsessed with her.
真的让我很恼火 Now that just really pisses me off.
真好 咱忘了这事好吗 That's fascinating. Let's just forget about it, OK?
我想说这太他妈扯了 不是吗 I mean it's... it's just so fucked up, right?
我几乎都不记得她是谁了 I mean, I barely remember her.
但有人四处散布关于你的谣言 And it's just so insulting to have someone walking around
有种被侮辱的感觉 不是吗 spreading lies about you. Right?
不知道她同事都有谁 I wonder who she's working with.
她和谁一起来的 Like I wonder who she's here with
因为要是她跟她同事也这么说 because if she's telling her coworkers,
我又要操心那一大帮人怎么想了 then that's a whole 'nother group of people I gotta worry about.
理查德 你现在什么都不用操心 Richard, you don't have to worry about anything
-管好'魔笛手'就行 -我知道 -except for Pied Piper right now. -Yeah, I know.
离预赛还有不到24小时 Because we have less than 24 hours 'til the preliminaries.
-我才没操心 -这就对了 -No one's worrying, that's the thing. -Perfect.
太好了 Perfect.
就是她 OK, her.
她说我"死缠烂打" 迪尼希 She used the word "obsessed", Dinesh.
-死缠烂打 -理查德 我没兴趣 -"Obsessed." -Richard, I don't care.
我也没有 这才是重点 Neither do I. That's the entire point.
我去扫眼她的Instagram I'm just gonna check her Instagram real quick.
要是她敢在上面说我死缠烂打 Because if she's posting comments about me being obsessed...
这总不能坐视不管 I mean, I can't just ignore that.
有兴趣看个小装置吗 Would you be interested in a device
与智能手机相连 that links to your smartphone
能在发病前向你预警 and lets you know, even before it happens,
到底是恐慌症发作 whether you're having a panic attack
还是心脏病发作 or a heart attack?
'恐慌技控'的使用方法是这样 OK, here's how Panic-A-Tech works.
全天在指头上戴着这个就能监控生命体征 You wear this on your finger all day and it tracks your vitals.
要是戴这个太尴尬 Or if that's too embarrassing,
我们还有蓝牙栓剂 there's also a Bluetooth suppository
插在你想的那个地方 and that goes right where you think it goes.
附赠回收工具包 And that comes with a retrieval kit.
他是一副"哥俩好"的样子 Was he like, "Bro, you're my bro,"
还是"看爷不一枪崩了你 or was he like, "I wanna shoot you in the face
让你血洗会场 and watch you bleed out all over the stage
谁让你上我老婆 臭傻逼"这样 'cause you fucked my wife, you cocksuck."
正好在中间 他是这样 Right in the middle. It was like:
怎么了 酒店那边怎么样 What happened? How's it going at the hotel?
太诡异了 他做到提取元数据模块了 Weird. He switched to meta-data extraction
还叫你过去 and now wants to see you.
现在就已经做到元数据了吗 没道理啊 Meta-data? Already? Makes no sense.
他心神不宁的 He seems very distracted.
各位 因为我们的准备工作不怎么充分 OK, guys, since we're kind of playing from behind here
我就去弄了个秘密武器 I put together a little secret weapon.
我整理了所有参展人员的名单 I... I went through the entire list of conference participants
找到了他们的头像和简介 并打印出来 and I found images and I found bios and I printed them out
这样我们就能有备无患了 so we have them all in one place.
-你弄这个干什么 -你看 -Why did you do that? -Uh, OK.
这人是谁 等着 他是... Who's this guy? Watch. He is...
瑞克·史密斯 '捷径'的联合创始人 Rick Smith, co-founder of Crosscut Ventures.
你怎么... How did you...?
'快速身份识别' 面部识别应用程序 ID-Keen. It's this facial recognition app
莫妮卡给我们手机上装的 that Monica put on our phones.
随便对着谁 就能显示个人信息 You just point it at anybody, tells you who they are
还会告诉你他们在展会有多重要 and how important they are to the conference.
都没有你的信息 You're not showing up at all.
也许我没有... 不对我有信号 Yeah, maybe I'm not getting a... No, I'm getting a signal.
好吧 OK. Um, well...
贾里德 可回收的扔那边 Ooh, Jared, Jared, recycling's over there.
怎么样了 那个评委知道吗 Hey, so what's the deal? Does the judge know or not?
我不知道 莫妮卡 他耍我呢 I don't know, Monica. He's toying with me.
也许不是 我他妈也搞不清 Or maybe he's not. I can't fucking figure it out.
埃利希 你不能再这样 他妻子也来了 Erlich, you need to stop this. His wife is here.
有种点 去找她谈谈 搞清楚 Grow a pair and talk to her, find out for sure.
你怎么不有种点 然后我去找她谈 Why don't you grow a pair and I'll talk to her.
什么 What?
你会Java吗 Do you happen to know Java?
你搞笑吗 我最擅长Java Are you kidding? It's like my specialty.
能帮帮我吗 Will you help me?
荣幸不已 Oh, it would be my honor.
什么事 Yes?
抱歉 我一定走错房间了 Oh, sorry. Um, I must not have the right room.
我要找丹·梅尔彻 I'm looking for Dan Melcher.
没错 就是这间 Yeah, that's us.
是吗 好吧 Oh, it is? OK.
我想找他妻子谈谈 I was looking to speak with his wife.
就是我 我是他新任妻子 刚结婚 That's me. I'm, well, his new wife, we just got married.
恭喜你们 Oh, congratulations.
那玛德琳呢 Uh, what happened with Madelyn?
-你是丹的朋友吗 -对 -You're a friend of Dan's? -Yeah.
我俩有过 有一些交集 We've... We have a common interest...s.
有好多交集 Uh, many common interests.
她真是糟透了 Well, she was a nightmare.
嗑药 进了无数趟戒毒所 Pills, in and out of rehab.
还恬不知耻地不断劈腿 Had all of these disgusting affairs.
离婚后丹一度一蹶不振 You know, the divorce nearly killed Dan.
真的吗 恬不知耻地劈腿 Really? Disgusting affairs.
这消息真令人难过 Well, I... I feel terrible.
没事的 他已经看开了 No, it's fine. He's put it behind him.
都看开了吗 所有方面 All of it? I mean, every aspect of it?
那...真是个好消息 Well, that is... that is great to hear.
万一她把这胡话告诉所有参加会议的人怎么办 What if she's spreading this lie to everyone at this conference?
老实说 吉尔弗约尔 I mean, honestly, Gilfoyle...
理查德 你要是再扯这事 Richard, stop talking about this
我就让你破相 or I have to punch you in the face.
我操 这么大 Fuck. It is huge.
不见尽头啊 Very, very huge.
测试 一二一 Check, one-two two,
瓜子花生王大娘 tsetse fly, tsetse fly.
展示程序做得怎么样了 Hey, how's the demo coming?
这个 差不多了 没错 差不多了 Um, we're getting there. Uh, definitely... getting there.
先生们 好消息来了 Gentlemen, I bring good tidings.
原来梅尔彻离婚了 又找了个新的 Turns out that Melcher is divorced, remarried
他和前妻的感情纠葛都成过去式了 and has put the previously relationship behind him completely.
问题解决了 Problem solved.
真是太好了 That's great.
当然好 理查德 当然好 It sure is, Richard, it sure as hell is.
看看这帮傻逼 Look at these poor fuckers.
要被碾压了都不知道 They don't even know what's about to hit 'em.
看哥天神下凡 The hammer of God.
太抱歉了 太抱歉了 I am so sorry! I am so sorry.
我还以为你们会去接我的 I thought you guys were gonna come get me
所以我 太抱歉了 and... and I'm sorry.
等下 贾里德 你来做什么 Wait, Jared, what are you doing here?
什么 What?
-谁在看展台呢 -是啊 -Who's watching the booth? -Yeah.
我还以为莫妮卡会 I thought that maybe Monica could...
-她不是公司职员 -再说我们需要她帮忙 -She's not in the company. -We need her here. That's the thing.
好了 各位 All right, everybody,
我要给主要人员讲一下流程 this run-through is for essential personnel only,
闲杂人等退下 essential only.
-我们真的需要有人看着展台 -好的 -We need someone in the booth is the thing. -Right.
你在展台不算闲杂人员 You're essential to the booth.
好... Right.
好 每一支队伍 All right, each team will
都有六分钟进行概要介绍和功能演示 have six minutes for presentation and demo,
然后裁判会问几个问题 at which point the judges will ask a few questions...
容我打断你一下 就问你一个小问题 Uh, do you mind if I break in here, just one question.
裁判们在听完我们讲解之后 Uh, are the judges allowed to send us through
是直接判我们进入决赛 to the finals immediately after we present
还是等全部演示完再做决定 or do we have to wait until everyone else has gone?
怎么了 大家不都想知道吗 What? I'm just saying what everybody's thinking.
你好 你叫什么名字 Hello, what's your name?
欢迎访问microdrone.com Visit us at microdrone.com.
-谢了不要 -并下载你在创业展会上的 -Uh, excuse me, no thank you. -And download a free video of you
-免费视频 -不用了 -at TechCrunch Disrupt -Uh, no, thank you.
内森 你是'指译'执行官内森·齐默曼吗 Nathan. Are you Nathan Zimmerman, CEO of Flingual?
我 不管这是谁弄的 谢了我不感兴趣 I... I... Whoever's doing this, no thank you.
我感觉这里有个盲区 就这里音效特差 Yeah, I think we got a dead zone, an audio dead zone right here.
你听这个 Listen to this.
听见了吗 再听这个 Hear that? Compared to...
好 我要的效果是这样 OK, here's what I want.
-音乐一起来 -还有音乐 -As soon as the music comes up... -Music?
我要你一下子把光聚到我这里 其余全暗 I want you to hit me with a spotlight, bam! And a hard spot.
对了 你们有没有那种 Better yet, do you have those spotlights that...
从地上升起的大灯 hoooom, come up from the ground,
-格斗大赛那种 -我查查看 -like in Pride Fighting? -Uh... I can check.
好 那种灯一边一个 中间再来一个 OK, so two of those, one on each side and then one in the center
把我的影子投在整面幕墙上 so that it casts my shadow behind me,
像个巨人在深沉地凝视他们 like a giant looking over his own shoulder.
你们有鼓风机吗 Do you have any wind machines.
我要两台 I'm gonna need two of those...
你不是在哼小曲吧 Are you humming to yourself?
我 我有吗 Was... was I?
实话跟你们说吧 Uh, you know, honestly,
我貌似找到真命天女了 I may have found the perfect woman.
是吗 谁啊谁啊谁啊 Whoa. What? Who? Who?
她就在咱们旁边的展台 叫夏洛特 She's in the booth right next to us, Charlotte.
她外型上完全不是我的菜 She's not even physically my type,
一头闪瞎眼的金发 she has blonde hair
还挑染了蠢透了的粉色 and these stupid pink streaks
而且一点女王范儿都没有 and doesn't seem to be dominant at all.
但是 我似乎爱上她了 However, I think I'm in love.
她邀请我今晚去她房间看《云图》 She invited me to her room to watch Cloud Atlas later tonight.
正点 她这是想要你上她 Oh yeah, that means she wants you to lay her.
你确定吗 Is that definitive?
那电影是个人就看不下去 I mean, nobody can watch more than like a minute of that film.
所以她怎么样 辣吗 So what's the deal? I mean, is she hot?
她的确很有魅力 Yeah, I mean, she's attractive,
但在我眼里是个女人就有魅力 but almost every woman is attractive.
我爱的是她的头脑 It was her mind.
她写的Java程序 She wrote this Java method that was
是我这辈子见过的最美妙的东西 the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.
精妙 简洁 Elegant, tight.
编程功夫如此绝伦 There's just something
这样的女人是多么撩人啊 so hot about a woman that can code like that.
你懂的 我真想马上就 You know, I just want to...
爬进她的大脑前页 crawl in her frontal lobe and...
你笑什么 What's up?
你知道那段程序是我写的吧 You know I wrote that code, right?
不 程序在她的电脑里 No, this code was on her system.
多处磕碰还有逗逼贴纸的十五寸苹果本 A banged up 15-inch MacBook Pro with shitty stickers on it?
这里所有人的十五寸苹果本都遍体鳞伤 Everyone here has a beat up 15-inch MacBook Pro...
1.3的芯片 内存只有两G With a 1.3 chip and only two gigs of RAM?
她不懂Java 程序是我写的 She doesn't know Java. I wrote that code.
-你说你爱上了她的思想 -操 -You said you were in love with her mind. -Oh fuck.
你知道这意味着什么吧 You realize what's going on, right?
你感"性"趣的不是她 是我的程序 It's not her you're sexually attracted to, it's my code.
给我他妈的闭 这真是 Shut the... That is the
我经历的最他妈恶心的事了 most disgusting fucking thing I've ever h...
面对现实吧 迪尼希 Just face it, Dinesh,
你是个爱上我程序的程序基 you're gay for my code, you're code gay.
不 我感兴趣的是她 操的程序 No! No, I'm into her. Her, OK? Fuck your code!
你确实想操我的程序吧 You'd like to fuck my code, wouldn't you?
你想对我刚写的子程序打飞机吗 Hey, would you like to masturbate to the subroutine I just wrote?
不 这个 我 No! It's... I'm... I'm...
然后我就在中间这里 And then I'll sort of close right here in the center
以他们从未见过的姿态 with a confidence and poise that, well,
自信优雅地结束展示 they probably won't have seen up until this point.
就是这时候 And then at that point we've got
大屏幕上需要显示一些照片 some photos that we're gonna throw up on the big screen.
照片 Photos?
对 几张而已 Yeah, you know, just a few.
甘地 马丁·路德·金 年少好奇的我 Gandhi, MLK, me as an inquisitive child.
理查德 能帮个忙吗 Richard, could you please.
当然 稍等 我只需要把这个插好 Oh, yes, sorry. I'll just plug it in here.
不 不要 No! Don't!
-不要 -操 -Don't! -Oh, shi...
-我操 -靠 -What the fuck!? -Shit.
她就在这里 Oh, she's here.
靠 卡住了 卡住了 Oh, shit, it's frozen. It's frozen.
这很明显不是我 That is not me, obviously.
是他死缠烂打 不好意思 He's obsessed with me. I'm sorry.
客房内电影点播
感谢您购买电影《云图》
怎么了 Hey, what's wrong?
我有点紧张 因为你太漂亮了 I'm just a little nervous 'cause you're so beautiful.
随便问一句 Random question...
那段Java程序不是你写的吗 So you didn't write any of that Java code?
不过每条微博都是我写的 But I write all of our tweets
已经有好几百粉丝了 and we have like a couple hundred followers.
好几百 Couple hundred...
我把这个拿开 Oh, let me move this.
那程序是你朋友写的 Oh, that's the code your friend wrote.
-是嘛 -写得很不错吧 -Yeah, it is. -It's really good, huh?
还行 不过我没兴趣 It's fine. I don't care about it.
你有反应了哦 Mm, there we go.
我操 Oh, fu...
冷静 冷静 Come on, focus, focus.
雪莉·考德维尔
刚来到了欧姆尼酒店酒吧
雪莉·考德维尔
理查德一定弄不完吧 Richard's not gonna finish, is he?
他可以的 吉尔弗约尔 他必须完成 He'll finish, Gilfoyle, he has to.
你还好吗 Are you OK?
我很好 Yeah, I'm fine.
我就知道 你肯定做不到 I knew it. You couldn't do it.
你给我闭嘴 闭嘴 Please shut up. Shut up.
为什么每次我要跟女人上床 Why is it that every time I'm about to have sex with a lady...
他都会占据我的脑海 he's all up in there somehow?
终于只剩我们了 这一轮算我的 Finally, just us. Guys, this round is on me.
贾里德 你们在这啊 Hey, Jared. There you guys go.
-为'魔笛手'干杯 -为'魔笛手'干杯 -To Pied Piper. Hmm? -To Pied Piper.
干杯 Here, here.
干了吧 Yeah, drink it up.
不过这也改变不了你的本质 But it's not gonna change who you are.
莫妮卡 我能跟你谈一下吗 Monica, can I speak to you for a minute?
当然 Yeah.
不 雪莉 就是现在 No, Sherry, it has to be now!
我操 Oh, shit.
听着 我们必须说清楚 OK, look, we need to talk.
你一直告诉别人我死缠烂打 根本不是这样 You keep telling people I'm obsessed with you. It's not true...
理查德 你能退后一点吗 Richard, why don't you just take a step back...
不 不 让我说完 No, no, no, let me finish.
是我把你的照片 OK, did I put your picture
放上礼堂的大屏幕了吗 没错 up on the big screen in the auditorium? Yes.
可那是因为我要给我朋友看你的照片 But that's because I was showing you to my friends
证明不是我死缠烂打 to prove a point that I'm not obsessed with you.
理查德 我得走了 Richard, I'm gonna go now.
我没有对你死缠烂打 雪莉 No, I'm not obsessed with you, Sherry!
我 I'm...
我没有 I'm not.
我跟你说过的那个理查德 That guy Richard I was telling you about
已经为我疯狂了 just totally freaked out on me
死缠烂打那个 Yeah, the obsessed guy.
-你在哪 -自从我们到达会场 -Where are you? -You've been doing this ever since
-你就一直这样 -哪个电梯 -we arrived at the conference. -Which elevators?
你真的认为 You really think that you
你能介入我和理查德·亨德里克斯之间吗 can come between me and Richard Hendricks?
我们是搭档[伴侣] 我这两个月 We're partners, OK, and I've devoted every second
每一秒钟都献给了他 of my waking life for the past two months to him, OK?
献给他 I am devoted to him and to
以及我们一起创建的宝贵事业 the precious thing that we're building together!
我是他的搭档 我能看出来他呕吐 I'm his partner. I can tell when he's vomiting...
-什么 不是 -是因为紧张 -What? No. -Because he's nervous or when he's vomiting...
没事了 凯特 我很好 Never mind, Kate, I'm fine.
还是因为生病 Because he's sick
还是因为吃了香菜 虽然他喜欢吃 or when he's vomiting because he had cilantro, which he loves
但他却不能吃 因为吃了他会 but he shouldn't have because it makes him...
我完全不知道你会这样想 I had no idea that you felt this way.
我说真的 我很抱歉 I mean it, I am so sorry.
竟然说我对她死缠烂打 I mean, I'm obsessed with her...
理查德 能和你谈谈吗 Richard, can I talk to you for a second?
好啊 Uh, OK.
我要向你道歉 我真是大错特错 I owe you an apology. I was way off base.
是啊 是你想错了 Well, yeah, you were.
他把一切都解释清楚了 He cleared it all up for me.
贾里德 是吗 Jared? Really?
是的 他是你的伴侣[搭档]吧 Yeah. He's your partner, right?
是啊 是其中之一 Yeah, he is. One of many.
说不定人数太多了点 Probably too many.
我怎么会没看出来呢 How could I not have seen this?
显然你对我根本没兴趣 Obviously you're not obsessed with me.
理查德 虽然不关我的事 Richard, it's none of my business, but
-但要注意安全 好吗 -好的 -be safe. OK? -OK.
我当然很安全 Of course I'm safe. I
我每天都会把系统备份五次 backup my whole system like five times a day.
贾里德 So... uh, Jared, hey,
谢谢你 thank you.
谢我什么 For what?
感谢你做的一切 Uh, you know, everything.
我觉得我们对你的付出有点视而不见 I feel like we don't appreciate you enough,
谢谢你 so thank you.
你在哭吗 Are you... are you crying?
你在哭吗 Are you crying?
别这样 别哭了 Uh, don't do that. Don't cry.
该死 我要回去干活了 Oh, shit. I gotta get back to work.
我得集中精力 I... I need to focus here.
我们都该走了 We should all go.
好吧 我来结这轮的账 All right, I'm taking care of this one.
等我们赢了这破比赛之后 But when we win this fuckin' thing,
理查德 那一轮你来请 Richard, you're buying the next round.
好的 Yeah.
不是吧 Oh... no.
我们是参展人员 有折扣吗 We're with the conference, is there any sort of discount...?
有什么优惠吗 Kind of break you can...?
没有吗 好吧 No. All right.
-你好啊 又见面了 -你好 -Hello again. -Oh, hi.
你这么关心丹 You know, that was really
真是太贴心了 sweet of you to be so concerned about Dan.
他经历了一段很艰难的时期 He really has been through hell.
绵薄之力吧 Well, it's the least I could do.
你是怎么认识玛德琳的来着 So how did you know Madelyn again?
说来话长了 Oh, uh, long story.
我得承认我很好奇 I have to admit, I'm curious.
先不着急结账 You know what, keep it open.
你有没有过太在乎朋友的境况 Have you ever cared too much?
中央大厅展览中心
'科技博客'创业展会
创业竞技场
5月16-18日
大家准备好了吗 People, are you ready?
准备好参加终极科技创业竞技场了吗 Are you ready for the ultimate Tech Startup Competition?
让我听到你们的声音 Let me hear it:
创业展会 Disrupt!
创业展会 Disrupt.
大家好 我叫赛义德·乔布蓝尼 Hello. My name is Saeed Jobrani.
我是'瞬间报错'的首席执行官 I am the CEO of ImmediBug.
可以强大的分析所有移动平台
我们要彻底改变 And we're here to revolutionize
大家在移动平台上报错的方式 the way you report bugs on your mobile platform.
'发现者'会彻底改变 Happin! will revolutionize
基于位置的移动新闻汇聚的及时程度 location-based mobile news aggregation as you know it.
通过达成一致性协议的分布式选举算法 We're making the world a better place, through Paxos Algorithms
协作化
移动化
定位化
用于达成一致性协议的分布式选举算法
让世界更美好 for consensus protocols.
我们要通过软件定义云计算的数据中心 And we're making the world a better place
比特梵色
值得投资的理念
让世界更加美好 through software defined data centers for cloud computing.
通过标准数据模型 A better place through canonical
瑜伽大师
标准数据模型
基于信息的集成方法
企业应用集成
进行端点间沟通 让世界更加美好 data models to communicate between endpoints.
通过资产交易中可扩展可容错的 A better place through scalable,
'指译'专有数据技术
可扩展
可容错
分布式
数据库事务属性
分布式数据库 让世界更加美好 fault-tolerant distributed databases with asset transactions.
资产交易中可容错的分布式数据库 fault-tolerant distributed databases with asset transactions.
我们是真正的定位化 移动化 协作化 And we are truly local mobile social.
我们完全是协作化 移动化 定位化 And we're completely So-Mo-Lo.
我们是移动化 定位化 协作化 And we're Mo-Lo-So.
我们是定位化 移动化 协作化 We're Lo-Mo-So, bro.
我们之前是协作化 定位化 移动化 We were So-Lo-Mo
但现在我们是移动化 定位化 协作化 but now we're Mo-Lo-So.
不对 移动化 协作化 定位化 No, Mo-So-Lo. No...
要不要我给你拿点水喝 You want me to get a water or something?
-把这个喝了 -给 -Yeah, drink this. -Here.
-所以我们都准备好了吗 -非常好 -So we're all good? -We're all great.
搞定了 所有测试的维斯曼评分都是2.89 I killed it. Our Weissman score on all tests: 2.89.
刚刚好是理论限值 Right at the theoretical limit.
所有模块都运转正常 Yeah, all the edge modules are humming.
移动端也是 他们可以随便发难 Uh, even on mobile. They can throw anything at us.
太好了 祝你们好运 我回座位了 Great. Well, good luck. I'm gonna go find my seat.
除了3D视频 Um, except 3D video.
什么 What?
3D视频还有些处理不好 3D video's still a little hinky.
埃利希最好引导他们避开这个问题 Erlich better steer them away from that just to be safe.
埃利希人呢 Where the hell is Erlich?
他今早没和你们在一起吗 He wasn't with you guys this morning?
人体加热器
与现有加热整个房间的方式相比 Rather than heating an entire room,
人体加热器是一种 HumanHeater is a microwave technology
可以加热人类皮肤表面的微波技术 that can heat the surface of a person's skin instead,
这可以为我们节省数百万元的加热费用 potentially saving millions in heating costs
并且更加环保 and helping the environment,
因此这会让世界更美好 thereby making the world a better place.
评委们 Judges.
好吧 所以 Uh... OK, so,
你想用微波 you want to heat people
加热人 对吗 with microwaves, is that right?
这肯定不安全 That can't be safe.
这是个好问题 相信我 它很安全 That's a great question and trust me, it is very, very safe.
我已经从事这项研究15年了 I've been working on it for 15 years.
我不相信你 它肯定不安全 I don't trust you and it can't be safe.
就算它是安全的 And even if it was, I don't
我觉得消费者们也不会买账 think you could ever sell the public on this.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我想当人们看到他们的电费大幅缩减时 I think when people see the savings on their utility bill
还有看到这项技术 and when they see how it
如何保护环境时 他们会买的 saves the environment, they will be sold.
微波 你在开玩笑吗 Microwaves? Are you kidding me?
兄弟 他们真凶残 Man, they are brutal.
好了 让我们大放异彩吧 All right, let's light this candle.
你到底去哪里了 Where the hell have you been?
有些事情有了新的进展 Uh, there's been some developments.
你们知道我搞了梅尔彻的前妻吧 You know how I fucked Melcher's old wife?
-我把他现任老婆也搞了 -什么 -I fucked his new wife, too. -What?
别担心 他不会发现的 Uh, don't worry, he's not gonna find out.
我昨晚在他回来之前早早就走了 I left way before he got back last night and then I didn't
然后他今早走后20分钟我才又回去 go back this morning until 20 minutes after he had left.
你还回去了 You went back?
你到底搞了这个女人几回 How many times did you fuck this woman?
你说前任还是现任 The old wife or the new wife?
-现任 -昨晚还是今早 -The new wife. -Last night or this morning?
埃利希 你想什么呢 今天非常重要 Erlich, what are you thinking? This is kind of the big day today.
放轻松 他不会知道的 她不会说的 Relax, he's not gonna find out. She's not gonna tell him.
你他妈怎么能肯定 How the fuck do you know that?
除非她疯了 不然不会说的 Because she'd have to be crazy to tell him
而且我直接问过她是不是疯了 and I asked her point blank if she was crazy
她跟我发誓她没疯 and she swore to me, no, she's not crazy.
-魔笛手 该你们了 -我们上场吧 -Pied Piper, you're up. -Let's do it.
微波只能穿透人体最外层的皮肤细胞 The microwaves only penetrate the top layer of skin cells.
我不信 它肯定不安全 I don't believe you. It can't be safe.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我在这些人身上试验了整个冬天都没事 I've been testing it on these guys all winter and they're fine.
那就让我给你们展示一下 Let me just demonstrate it to assure you...
-不不 -求你了 不要 -No! No! -No! Please!
没有人会买这个产品的 No one is ever going to buy one of these.
没人 Ever.
人体加热器到此为止 That was HumanHeater.
接下来 有请执行主席和首席规划家 Next up, Executive Chairman and Chief Visionary
埃利希·巴赫曼为您带来'魔笛手' Erlich Bachman presenting Pied Piper.
从创世之初 Since the dawn of time,
人类就想将所有事物变得更小 但直到现在 mankind hath sought to make things smaller, but until now,
也没有人 no man...
你这个混蛋 You son of a bitch!
我的天哪 大家都冷静 Jesus Christ! Everyone remain calm.
请留在座位上 一切都在掌控之中 Stay in your seats! Everything is under control!
灯光呢 Lights?
我觉得他知道了 I think he knows.