♪♪
( triumphant fanfare )
( clank, ding )
Roger Roger!
C-3PO: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
General, I am grateful you put me at the end
of the disassembly line, but, er,
you're making a terrible mistake.
I already was a Battledroid once,
and it was simply ridiculous-- ask anyone.
Perhaps you'd like to go in the machine now.
No, I'll-- I'll wait my turn, thank you.
Stay here and watch them until I get back.
Yes. Stay here and watch them unless you get back.
No, until I get back.
Until you or anybody else--
No! Just me! Watch them!
Ah! Stay here!
( beeping )
What's that, R2, an escape plan?
( beeping )
You want me to distract our captors
by blabbing on like I always do?
Oh, it is the role I was created to play!
You masked tormentors had better not mess with us.
We may look like just ordinary droids,
but I'll have you know R2 and I blew up
the second Death Star.
You? We blew it up!
Which you could not have done
had we not disabled the shield generator.
( howls )
Pipe down!
Nobody cares who did what.
Oh, very well, then.
It appears that you don't want to hear
the real story.
Wait, there's a real story? Tell us.
Oh, it's really rather boring.
No, tell us. Tell us!
Oh, well, if you insist.
Gather 'round now. Face me.
Don't look at R2.
Here is the stirring tale of how the Jedi returned.
The Rebellion was in tatters.
The Empire was building a new and improved Death Star,
and Han Solo had been frozen in carbonite
and hung on the wall in Jabba the Hutt's palace.
But we had a plan to rescue him.
( guards snoring )
Han, are you in there?
It's Leia. We've come to get you out.
( muffled reply )
Ooh! Sorry.
I'm free! But I can't see.
Your eyesight will return in time.
Oh, Leia, thank you.
Yeah, you're droolier than I remember.
( roars )
But you still have that sassy attitude I love.
Oh!
Halt!
Release them at once!
Jabba, I'm gonna ask you nicely to release my friends.
Do as I say or be destroyed.
( all laughing )
Chewie, I can't see.
Are they laughing at Luke or with him?
They were definitely laughing at you.
( roars )
( laughing )
( speaking native language )
Jabba says to toss you into the Sarlacc pit.
Yeah, we figured that out, thanks.
Han, there's nothing to worry about.
We've got friends all around.
They all came together?
Well, it pays to carpool.
R2, now!
Uh-oh.
( speaking native language )
( belches )
Oh, no!
( laughing )
Aah!
( laughing )
Aaaa...
This is nothing.
Now to plan my escape.
I'm too handsome to die! Unh!
Hang on, buddy.
I got you.
And we've got you.
Thanks, but who are you?
Oh, the story of my life.
Hyah!
Aah!
We have to help Luke.
( beeping )
C-3PO: Good work, R2.
( Luke groaning )
Aah!
( explosions )
No giant monster mouth can hold the great Boba Fett.
Unh! Just another minor setback...
See you at the rendezvous point, Luke.
I have to visit Yoda first, but I'll be there.
How are you feeling?
Great. My eyesight is back to 100%.
Whoa...
Okay, more like 30%.
( R2 beeping )
LUKE: Yoda, there's something I must know.
Is Darth Vader my father?
Your father?
Who told you that?
Darth Vader.
( frustrated groan )
Spill the beans he did.
Yes, your father he is.
And confront him now you must,
or all we have fought for
will be for nothing.
No pressure.
I don't know if I can do it.
Not alone you will be.
You have a sister.
A sister? It's Leia!
Yes.
Wise in the Force are you.
No, she's the only girl I've ever met.
Not many women in our adventures, are there?
Fix that next time we must.
This mission may be our last chance
to defeat the Empire.
We will attack the Death Star in a totally different attack
from the attack on that other
totally different Death Star.
Totally different.
Got that?
ALL: Yes, yes.
Now, we found a tiny flaw where a perfectly placed,
one-in-a-million shot
could make the whole thing blow up.
Way to go! I knew we'd do it.
General Solo and his team
will go to Endor in this stolen Imperial shuttle
and take out the Death Star's deflector shield generator.
And Lando will lead the assault on the Death Star
in the Millennium Falcon.
On second thought, I'll fly the Falcon.
Han, we need you on the strike team.
And I'll take god care of the Falcon.
It used to belong to my family.
Aw, but it's mine now.
All my stuff is in it!
Oh, brother, I hear you.
Let me show you a picture of my sweet ride, Daisy Mae.
Oh-ho, she's a real--
Nobody cares about your ship.
I care.
( fussing, panicked shouts )
This should be easy.
Get in, destroy the deflector shield generator,
get out.
( gasps ) If Vader figures out I'm here,
It'll but all of us in danger.
Oh, man!
Stop worrying. It'll be great.
Oh, man, oh, man. (howling)
(gasps) That's Luke Skywalker.
We have to warn our leaders.
To the bikes!
I told you I shouldn't have come.
After them!
( engine sputtering )
Oh... I'm running out of gas.
And I've got squished bugs on my face.
Help is on the way.
Let's get those Imperials.
What? Why should you guys get to have all the cool action?
Whoooa...
I feel like the meat in a Rebel sandwich.
( laughing )
Uh-oh.
Aah...
See, kid? I told you it would all be fine.
You're right. I need to stop worrying so much.
( creatures speaking native language )
Once again, shouldn't have come.
No, not a black one. Dark gray.
They both look the same in the manual.
Master, I detect the presence of my son.
Yes, he and his friends are on Endor
hoping to blow up our shield generator.
But have no fear.
He will come to you.
He will come to me?
He hopes to save you from the Dark Side,
just as I planned.
I planned everything.
I even planned what you'll say now.
- No you did-- - No, you didn't!
See? All planned.
That's so incredibly a--
Amazing! Ha, called it again!
I was going to say annoying.
But amazing works too.
ADMIRAL ACKBAR: General Calrissian,
is your assault fleet ready
to take off toward the Death Star?
Almost, Admiral.
One last final touch.
May the funk be with you!
( funk music playing )
Ewokese is one is one of the many forms of communication
in which I am fluent,
so I can tell you that these delightful creatures
think that I am a god.
I should add they plan to cook you for dinner.
( Chewie groans )
Yeah we figured that out too. Thanks.
It's gonna be okay.
LUKE: 3PO, tell them I they don't let us go,
you will become angry with them
and use your magic.
Magic? I-- I can't do magic.
You can now.
( frightened cries )
Whoo!
Oh...
Ah...
( howling )
I won't reveal how my tricks are done...
because I don't know.
( cheering )
Thank you, thank you. Oh--
You did it, Luke.
Uh, Luke?
Where are you going?
You'll have to destroy the shield generator without me.
Vader is here, and I have to confront him.
He's my father.
What? No way.
That's the worst thing I could ever possibly imagine.
He's your father too.
Ugh!
3PO: Luke made the ultimate sacrifice to save us.
He turned himself in,
just as the emperor had predicted.
Ooh, I love being right all the time.
Luke Skywalker.
Today we'll see the end of your insignificant rebellion
and your ridiculous plan to attack my Death Star.
You knew we were coming?
Righty-O!
I'm afraid the deflector shield
will be quite operational
when your friends arrive.
Wow, do you have to be such a jerk?
Did I hurt your feelings?
You certainly did.
Ha! All part of the plan!
( laughing )
Okay, let's get that shield down.
R2, do your stuff.
R2!
The door was booby trapped.
They knew we were coming!
So it would seem
LANDO: Death Star attack, here we go.
The shield is still up. Pull back!
The situation looked very bad for us.
What happened then?
Send in the next droid.
Send-- Send in--
Oh...
Send in the next droid.
Hold that thought.
Let's go, old timer.
Oh...
( R2 beeping)
R2, you freed yourself.
Oh, you are a hero.
Now, cut us loose and--
The traitor!
He has abandoned us!
Maybe he has a plan.
A plan to leave us here to rot.
Why did I ever risk my circuits
to save that selfish droid?
Okay, tell us the rest of the story.
R2-D2 betrayed everyone he ever knew.
The end. No, he didn't.
I'll tell the rest.
And it's got a heck of a twist.
Just as things looked the worst,
we were saved by your boss, Darth Vader.
Get outta here!
You better believe it.
We were in big trouble.
LANDO: Fire at the big Star Destroyers in close range.
It's our only hope.
I'm hit! Me too!
But I got hit first.
Y-WING PILOT: You're so competitive!
( Emperor and Vader laughing )
No! Stop it!
Can't you see this is making me angry?
Uh, that's the general idea.
Yes. Unleash your anger.
That's how I'll turn you to the Dark Side.
You'll never make me angry enough
to go to the Dark Side.
Oh, you asked for it.
You're a poopy-pants stinky-winky!
Huh? Angry now?
No. Okay.
You'll never be as cool as Han Solo.
Oh, that tears it!
You Rebel scum thought you could
defeat the empire, eh?
You'll never match the sheer power
and intelligence of a highly trained force
who will always be your superiors!
Aaaaahh...
R2, you came back to save us!
( bugle call )
( shouting indistinctly}
Teddy bears! Run!
Yes. yes!
Ow! My nose!
Sorry. Sorry.
No, no, my fault.
Too close to the action. Carry on.
I feel a great disturbance in the Falcon.
As if my easy chair suddenly cried out in terror.
Concentrate on getting this door open!
I can't open it. Nothing is working.
Great work, Chewbacca.
(coughs) Great for you.
I don't know what this guy had for lunch...
( howls )
Thank you...
Whoa.
EMPEROR: Yes, Luke, yes!
Now finish him!
Excuse me. What now?
Come on, you know the deal.
It's the same thing you did with Count Dooku.
Fair enough.
Finish him, Luke.
Then your journey to the Dark Side
will be complete.
No, I won't do it.
I'm a Jedi, like my father before me.
You failed.
Oh, well, then I surrender.
Kidding! Aah!
You ready?
Let's do this thing.
( beeping )
HAN: Lando, the shield generator's been destroyed.
Attack now!
All right, old buddy.
( violent bang )
But be careful with my ship.
We're trying to destroy an empire here.
I just waxed it is all.
( laughing )
Aah! Aah! Ooh!
Help... Father!
This is really messing with my hair.
No. No!
Oh, good, Vader. You're going to help me.
That's it, carry me closer to Luke.
Where are you going? Luke is that way.
This was not part of the plaaaaan--
Oh...
You saved me.
You did have good in you.
You were right about me.
Luke, help me take this mask off.
Just once, let me look on you
with my own eyes.
( pop ) Whoops.
Oh, my bad.
It's a little tricky.
I think that's our target.
( cheering )
We are the bosses of blowing up Death Stars!
That was the end of the Evil Empire.
The prophecy was right.
Anakin Skywalker did restore balance to the Force.
( cheering) Whoa! No way!
That's amazing. Fantastic!
Ahem!
We don't give Rebels standing ovations.
You, goldenrod,
time to join my Battledroid army.
You and, uh--
Where's your troublesome little friend?
Isn't that the question of the year?
That cowardly turncoat left us--
( violent bang )
That droid is crazy.
( beeping )
R2, I never doubted you for a second.
Fire at them!
I'll launch the emergency plan.
( roaring )
( humming )
Hmm.
( continues humming )
Punch it, R2.
( power surge )
( maniacal laughter )
He's really quite good at this
construction thing, isn't he?
It's over, Rebels.
To quote my idol, Darth Vader,
I have you now!
Aah!
It's a last minute surprise comeback!
Go get 'em, Daisy Mae!
( creaking )
3PO: We are saved.
Oh, now I have to go back home
and live with my parents!
( cheering )
Didn't we just do this?
R2, I'm glad you're safe,
but you have got to stop putting me
through so much trouble.
Quite honestly, mister, you owe me big time.
( beeping )
A medal?
A genuine "medal ceremony" medal?
Um, thank you for the offer,
but you will forgive me if I don't accept.
Gold really isn't my color.
But I do know someone on whom it would look
most appropriate.
( beeping )
( roaring )
(all cheering )
( Star Wars theme playing )