超级骑警 II
[肱二头肌=枪,意思是他的肱二头肌很大]
[嘲笑加拿大人经常说对不起]
[嘲笑加拿大人英语里面夹法语]
[加拿大握手:男性互相给对方手淫]
州警察
福斯特 主唱,贝斯
桑尼 吉他手
迈克 鼓手
拉比特 吉他手
大爆炸妓院
你知道你刚才时速是多少吗? Do you know how fast you were going?
不,我不太清楚,长官 No, I don't, Officer.
把广播关了 Turn that radio off, please.
那不是广播,那是乐队在排练 That's not the radio. That's the band practicing.
你们抽大麻了吗? Is that marijuana?
你们是不是有大麻壶 You got a party bowl up there?
嗯,没呀 Mm, nah.
没关系,没事儿的,有没有好料 It's okay, it's okay. Is it good?
有啊 Mm.
好极了,把车门打开,要不然我就给你丫带走 Yeah. Open it up! I'm fucking boarding you!
条子,条子上车了 5-0! 5-0 coming on board.
长官,你不能就这么跳上车来 Officer, you can't just waltz on in here!
你知道车上都是些什么人吗? Do you know who these guys are?
把电给我拔了 Unplug this shit right now.
不可能 No way.
真的假的 No fucking way.
真要命 Holy shit!
你们就是高速巡警 You guys are the highway cops
被上级叫停之后变成片儿警的那群人 that got shut down and became local cops.
然后又因为什么"疯狂"的鸟事@@ Then due to some kinda crazy "Incident"@@
又被警局赶出来了 you got kicked off of that force,
然后就开始玩儿音乐 so you started playing music.
然后又以迅雷不及掩耳的速度赢得了美国达人秀冠军 And before you knew it, you won America's Got Talent.
你们就是脆皮培根 You're Cracklin' Bacon!
多么神奇的经历啊 What a long, strange trip it's been.
我是你们的铁粉 I love you guys!
噢,我得把我搭档喊来 Oh, I gotta tell my partner.
他肯定不敢相信,好的,等着 He's not gonna believe this! Okay, hold on.
- 哥们儿,现在就过来,赶紧的 - 收到 - Dude, you gotta get over here right now - Copy.
他会惊讶死的 He's gonna shit his pants.
你知道怎么做才好玩吗? You know what would be hilarious?
等他上来之后 When he comes on the bus,
你给他裤裆狠狠来一脚 kick him in the nuts as hard as you can.
- 当真的吗? - 你使劲儿踢 - Really? - Just drill the guy!
这儿什么情况 What the hell is going on in here?
噢,老天爷,脆皮培根 Oh, my God! You're Cracklin' Bacon!
你们是我最爱的乐队了 You guys are my favorite band, like, ever!
扯啥,要不是我给你放他们的歌儿@@ What? You didn't even know who Cracklin' Bacon was@@
你知道脆皮培根是谁 until I played them for you.
瞎说,我早就知道 Yeah, I did!
是吗? 那你最喜欢哪首歌 Oh, really? What's your favorite song?
"手撕猪肉" "Pulled Pork"
行啊,那歌是怎么唱的 Yeah? How does it go then?
我会像吃掉手撕猪肉三明治一样吃掉你 I'm gonna eat youlike a pulled pork sandwich
像热腾腾的牛排一样放进面包里 Get inside your bread like a hot steak Manwich
这家伙底气挺足啊 This guy's got some pipes!
嘿,你想不想加入我们脆皮培根 Hey, how would you like to join Cracklin' Bacon?
我们需要找个新主唱 We're looking for a new lead singer.
真的吗? Holy shit!
先等会儿,我比他唱的还好 Yeah, oh, I can do it better than him.
我会像吃掉手撕猪肉三明治一样吃掉你 I'm gonna eat youlike a pulled pork sandwich
像成龙一样功夫了得 Kung Fu you like a Jackie Chan-wich
不赖嘛 Not bad.
你们歌儿唱的还行 You guys clearly have the sound.
但是你们会跳舞吗? 来一段儿 But do you have the moves? Hit it.
挥拳舞 Fist-pumps!
扭臀舞 Pelvic thrusts.
把屁股扭起来 Shake your tail feathers.
扭起来 Shake that ass.
然后来个亲亲 Now kiss each other.
啊,你说啥 I'm sorry. Come again?
快啊,摇滚啊,摇滚啊,宝贝儿 Come on, rock and roll! Rock and roll, baby!
- 快点儿 - 快亲他 - Do it! - Kiss him!
亲亲,亲亲,亲亲,亲亲 Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!
我就知道你们逗我俩呢 I knew you were fucking with us.
你们在逗我俩,伙计们 You're fucking with us, man!
好了,好了,看起来你们 All right, all right. You guys clearly have
还挺有摇滚细胞的 what it takes for rock and roll.
但是我们还有一项终极测试 But there's one more test you gotta pass
来决定你们能不能加入脆皮培根 before we let you join Cracklin' Bacon.
我们需要看看你俩能不能满足露西汁汁 We wanna know if you can keep up with Juicy Lucy.
我看她就挺多汁的 She looks pretty juicy to me.
噢,不,露西汁汁在后面了好吗? Oh, no, she's in the back, okay?
我可提醒你俩,她还挺缠人的 But I warn you, she can be quite a handful.
那咱们就去和她缠一缠 Let's go handle that!
露西汁汁,露西汁汁,露西汁汁 Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!
这儿马上就要汁水泛滥了 About to get juicy up in here!
嘿,宝贝 Hey, baby.
哈喽,露西汁汁 Hello, Juicy Lucy.
噢,那不是露西,露西更辣 Oh, that's not Lucy. Lucy's better.
噢,好家伙 Oh, man!
伙计们,在这扇门后面的就是 Fellas, on the other side of this door
永恒的名望和光芒 is everlasting fame and glory.
你来逼逼我来咪咪 You get the giney, I'll get the hiney.
来和露西打个招呼吧 Say hello to Lucy!
不跑就被抓,我们启程啦 Move it or lose it! It's time to cruise it!
走喽 Let's do it!
操你妈 Motherfucker!
- 这群狗屎蛋儿 - 太垃圾了 - Son-of-a-bitch! - Crap damnit!
我们唱的多投入,多用心 We sang our hearts off for those guys. Our hearts!
条子跟上来了 We got company.
我要把你们绳之以法,狗屎们 Can't outrun the law, motherfucker!
去你的脆皮培根 Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon!
哇吼 Whoa!
噢,我去 Oh, shit!
王八蛋 Motherfucker.
尝尝,子弹,尝尝,这个 Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it.
啊 Ah.
好好舔舔我的子弹,狗屎 Suck these fucking bullets, bitch!
噢,完,迈克,嘿,看着我,看着我 Oh, shit! Mac. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me.
我们差点就让这俩臭条子@@ We almost got those stupid cops@@
- @@撞上了 - 啊我去 - @@to kiss - Shit.
那是啥 What's that?
我勒个@@ What the@@
哇啊 Whoa!
我去的 Shit!
嘿 Hey.
我还是挺喜欢他们 I still love those guys.
可不,他们太帅了 Yeah, they're cool as hell.
瞧瞧他的帅样儿 I mean, look at him.
还是那么酷 Still cool.
我觉得咱们还是得把尸体藏一下 We should probably hide that body, though.
有道理 Yeah.
嘿,车开的不错,托恩 Hey, great driving, Thorn!
小托,小托 Thorny? Thorny?
噢,老天,他死啦 Oh, my God! He's dead!
- 噢,不 - 哈哈 - Oh, no! - Ha-ha!
- 啊哈 - 虎住你了,傻呆子 - Aha! - I got you, motherfucker!
- 我没死,我还活着 - 他还活着 - I'm not dead! I'm alive! - He's alive!
看路 Look out!
佛祖@@ Holy@@
啊啊啊 Ahhh!
你睡着啦,小宝贝儿 You sleeping, baby boy?
没没,我只是在检查房顶,法尔瓦 No, I'm just checking out the ceiling, Farva.
嗯,房顶子糊的不错 Good work up there.
好啦,把你的丁丁拿出来我们干活儿 All right, pull out your caulk and let's go.
你说啥 What?
我们干活,我手里拿着的是我的丁丁 Let's go! I'm standing here with my caulk in my hand.
现在拿起你的丁丁,然后我们把他们放进洞洞里去 Grab your caulk, let's put it in the holes!
抓紧的,让我看看你的大丁丁 Come on, let me see that big caulk.
噢,闭嘴吧 Oh, shut up.
给我看你的兔兔丁 Show me your Rabbit caulk!
你知道吗? 法尔瓦 You know what's funny, Farva?
这个梗你都用了800遍了 You've made that joke 400 times
它依旧是个烂梗 and it still sucks.
去你的,迈克 Fuck you, Mac.
你就这么跟你的现场指导说话 You don't talk to your site supervisor like that.
我给你记个大过 That's one demerit on your permanent record.
给我记个大过 On my permanent construction record?
你听对了,想还嘴吗? 要不要再给你来一个 That's right. You want another one, keep it up.
行啊,你再给我记一个,我好把你丁丁揪下来 Yeah, give me another and I'll pinch your dick.
- 记两过,还要第三个吗? - 来 - That's two. You want to go for three? - Okay.
没问题,仨过,还要吗? Bingo! You got it! You want another one?
- 来来,赶紧的 - 那再给你来一个 - Pretty, pretty please - You got it!
- 还要吗? - 我全都包了 - You want another one? - I'll take them all!
7个大过了,再来一个吗? That's seven! You want another one?!
给我来十个 Give me ten!
好的,十个就十个 Bingo!
迈克,有完没完 Mac! Stop.
你想跟牛较劲,牛就拉你一身屎 You mess with the bull, you get covered in bullshit.
- 这招儿不错 - 是哈 - What a tool - Yeah.
我做了个超疯的梦 I had the craziest dream.
这回谁是条子 Who were the cops this time?
史蒂夫勒和小达蒙·韦恩斯 Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.
他们是不是差点就亲亲了 Did they almost kiss?
是啊,是啊,就差那么一点儿 Yeah. Yeah. Almost got them to.
哈喽 Hello.
- 早啊,迈克 - 早,阿盖尔叔叔 - Morning, Mac! - Good morning, Uncle Argyle.
喊我叔叔,是不是法尔瓦在你旁边了 Code names? Is Farva nearby?
是啊,吐口痰就能砸着他 Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
帮我个忙,糊墙的时候把他嘴巴也糊上 Do me a favor, spackle his mouth shut.
没问题 Okay, will do.
这周末钓鱼的地点改了 So, change of location for this weekend's fishing trip.
你到时就直接来加拿大边境就好了 Just over the Canadian border.
好极了,我喜欢加拿大 Oh, sweet! I love Canada.
太好了,我把地址写信寄给你 Good one! I'll mail you the address.
- 啥,贴邮票寄给我吗? 你给我发个短信不就得了 - 短信 - What, like with a stamp? Just text me - Text?
噢,你是说电子信件吗? 行 Oh, you mean like, mail text? Yeah.
我觉得我的电话里应该有这个功能 I do believe I have that facility on this phone.
成,我试试 Okay, will do.
行了,这周末我得教你怎么发短信 That's it. I'm teaching you how to text this weekend.
- 不许打私人电话,迈克 - 搞什么 - No personal calls, Mac - What the fuck?
- 喔 - 见鬼,法尔瓦 - Whoop - Oh, God damn it, Farva.
- 我跟你说过不许打私人电话 - 是传销电话 - I told you no personal calls - It was a sales call.
是吗? 传销啥的 Oh, yeah? What were they selling?
我猜猜,是不是卖三文鱼罐头的,我喜欢三文鱼罐头 Ooh, was it canned salmon? I love canned salmon.
比金枪鱼好吃,你懂,咸咸滴 It's better than tuna, you know. It's a salty fish.
我喜欢咸咸的鱼 I like a salty fish.
比如石斑鱼或者鲈鱼 Like a grouper or maybe a branzino.
让你血压一路飙升 Something that really jerks off your blood pressure.
你知道还有啥是咸的吗? 乌龟,吃过乌龟没 You know what's salty? Turtle. You ever had turtle before?
知道哪儿最咸吗? 壳儿最咸 Saltiest part? The shell.
我怎么才能让你闭嘴 What do I have to say to get you to end this conversation?
你可以说,"电话里的人 You could say, "The guy on the phone
想卖给我大丁丁" was trying to sell me hard dicks"
电话里的人想卖给我大丁丁 The guy on the phone was trying to sell me hard dicks.
那我猜你得买个大礼盒 I bet you bought a baker's dozen.
丁丁们干活儿啦 Let's lay some caulk!
我有新鲜的丁丁,热丁丁 I got fresh caulk, everybody! Hot caulk here.
谁要丁丁 Who wants caulk?
所以他一下班儿就没影儿了 He really wants to leave right from work, huh?
他说,"好男儿不拖沓" He said, "Real men travel light"
老天,他看起来真要命 God, he looks ridiculous.
我觉得他看起来挺酷的 No, I think he looks pretty cool.
看起来像强力厨房用纸广告上的男的 Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy.
你看,我刚要说,我觉得像是孟买厨房用纸上的 See, I was gonna say the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.
- 嘿,桑恩 - 嘿 - Hey, Thorn - Hey.
这个烂差事,到处都是树汁和碎渣子 Job sucks. It's all sap and splinters.
还闻起来好像孟买 Now it smells like Bombay.
- 你要不把衣服穿上吧 - 臭啊 - You wanna put that shirt back on? - Whew!
好好闻闻吧,小伙计 Breathe it in, little fella.
这就是大山里的男人的味道 That's the smell of a mountain man.
啊行,好吧,你啥时候回山里去 Right. Okay, what time you due back at the hobo zoo?
嘿,嘿 Hey, hey!
好啊,伙计们 What's up, guys?
坐骑不错 Nice ride!
嘿,警长 Hey, Chief.
娘了个蛋 Son of a bitch.
- 嗒哒,,嘿 - Ta-da! - Hey!
嘿,怎么样 What's up, Foster?
把他交给你们了 He is all yours.
老坐我旁边烦死了 I'm tired of him riding in my sidecar anyway.
你昨天晚上可不是这么说的 That's not what you said last night.
长官,我们接到一个214 Chief, we have a 214
在沙克拉克汽车酒店外面 out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel.
警长需要协助 Officer needs guidance.
- 我马上到 - 收到 - I'll be right there - Copy.
你们要是没被炒掉多好 I wish you guys didn't get fired.
我们不是被被炒了,我们是受邀辞职 We weren't fired. We were invited to resign.
- 啊 - 说得真好 - Ah - Ooh, I like that.
没有,你们被炒了,上次骑行出事了 No, you were fired. There was that ride-along gone wrong.
然后你们就被炒了 Then you were fired.
咱们还是尊重彼此的意见不合吧 We'll just have to agree to disagree.
行吧 All right.
玩得开心点 Well, you fellas have fun.
别让他缺胳膊少腿地回来就行 Just get him back in one piece, all right?
钓鱼竿也别弄丢了,我下周末要用 With the rod. I'm gonna need it next weekend.
好样的 Hello!
这才是我女人 That's my girl.
好了兄弟们,钓鱼去咯 All right, boys, let's go fishing.
重点是,黑到一定程度 And the beauty is, the black is so black
已经成蓝色了 that it's really blue.
我的意思是,那其实是午夜蓝 I mean, it's really midnight blue.
哎,简直和以前一样 Ah, just like the old days, huh?
驰骋在乡村小路上 Driving around the countryside,
听桑尼聊他的老二 listening to Thorny talk about his dick.
- 还是以前好啊 - 狗屁 - I miss the old days - That's bullshit, man.
弗莱德·萨维奇那是根本不能怪我们 That Fred Savage thing was not our fault.
演员就不该跟着巡逻 Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs.
演员根本不能演警察 Actors shouldn't even try to play cops.
反正也演不好 I mean, they never get it right.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hey, there - How you doin'?
你们是来办公还是来玩的 Good. You boys here for business or pleasure?
- 来钓鱼 - 正是时候 - Just going fishing - Good timing.
角膜白斑都挺肥的 You'll be up to yer tits in the walleye.
我上周钓了一条,足足七千克 I caught one last week. Was seven kilograms.
那算重吗? Is that big?
那算重吗? 从头到脚足足九十厘米 Is that big? That's like nine decimeters from tip to tail.
- 你是铁板吗? - 你叫我啥 - You a jigger man? - What did you call me?
我在钓角膜白斑的时候 Well, I like to use the jigger rod
喜欢用铁板竿 for when I'm catching the walleye.
当然啦,这样的话 But of course when you're doing that
你就得少拿点东西 you gotta run extra light.
除非你是后面这位 Unless you're someone like you there in the back.
- 你是搞健美的吧 - 不是 - What are you, a bodybuilder? - No.
你卧推多少,算了别告诉我 What do you bench? Wait, don't tell me.
我会自卑的 I don't want you to embarrass me.
- 但是给我两张你的枪展的票吧 - 额,好 - But I would like two tickets to your gun show - Ah, okay.
你们走吧,耽搁你们的时间了 You guys are good to go. Sorry to hold ya up.
- 放他们过 - 谢谢 - Let them go! - Thanks! Take her easy.
典型的加拿大装逼男 Typical Canadian hardass.
"对不起,真的对不起" "Sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry"
"哦,对不起" "Oh, so sorry"
伙计们,待会儿有没有空 Hey, fellas, any chance you can
过来玩对不起游戏 come over to the house later and play some Sorry?
行啊,九点怎么样 Sure. How about nine o'clock?
哎,九点不行 Ooh, nine o'clock doesn't work.
对不起 Sorry about that.
说法语的最讨厌 French ones are the worst. Ha!
你想要为你的巧克力面包 Would you like some ratatouille
配上普罗旺斯炖菜吗? with your pain du chocolat?
好的,我再去拿点火腿和奶酪 Oui, oui! I'm gonna get some jambon et fromage.
你开玩笑的吧 This can't be it.
地址没错啊,队长发的就是这个 Well, this is the address Cap sent me.
虽然说他刚学会发短信 Although he did just learn how to text.
什么情况下,会促使一个人 Now what would compel somebody
把轮胎扔到屋顶上 to throw a tire up on the roof?
什么,你居然从来没有玩过,把轮胎扔到屋顶上 What, you never played "Throw the Tire on the Roof"?
没有,是不是你们瑞塔兰区 No, is that the kind of shit
都这么玩 you guys played in Rutland?
当然,这游戏玩不腻的 Sure. Never got "Tired" Of that game.
我们绝对走错地方了 We are in the wrong place.
没有,你们来对了 No. You're in the right place.
队长,这前不着村后不着店的地方 What's the deal with the creepy,
是要搞什么 remote shithole, Cap?
你又要让我们做什么奇怪的事 You gonna make us put the lotion in the basket?
没有,我有一个惊喜给你们 No, I've got a surprise for you.
我没有提前告诉你们 I didn't tell you up front 'cause you tend to be
是因为你们嘴巴不严 a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes.
约翰,还是让我来说吧 Well, then, why don't you let me reel in these fish, John?
杰斯曼总督 Governor Jessman?
我怎么没看见车队 Hey, I didn't see the motorcade.
- 我这次是悄悄来的 - 哦 - We're keeping my visit quiet - Mm.
队长,你真坏 Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.
迈克,放尊重点 Show some respect, Mac!
对不起 Sorry.
我来是有正事 I'm here on official business.
我们有一个有趣的情况 We've got an intriguing situation
就在这一带 going on in these parts.
最近移民大热 With all the heat on immigration these days,
美国这边正在重新 the U.S. Has been going through
评估边境 a border reassessment.
结果发现一些划分加拿大和美国的 It turns out that some of the original stone markers
原始石头标记 that delineated America from Canada,
和我们预想的有差别 weren't where we thought they'd be.
边境原来在这里 Here is where the border was.
这是我们找到石头标记的地方 But here is where we found the stone markers.
所以,这座小镇,圣约翰罗兰 So this town, St. Georges du Laurent,
以及周边地区 and the area surrounding it,
其实是在美国领土上 are actually on American soil.
所以要打仗吗? So we're going to war?
这仗应该很快吧 Ah, gee, that'd be a quick one, eh?
不,经过协商 No. After negotiations,
他们同意把地让出来 they've agreed to turn the land over.
佛蒙特的地 Vermont's about to get
- 会再扩大一点 - 嗯 - a little more head room - Hm.
我的任务是要找一支临时警察部队 So, it was up to me to find
协助过渡期 a temporary police force to help with the transition.
一群熟悉边境的警察 A group of officers familiar with the border area,
有高速公路巡逻经验的 experienced in patrolling a stretch of highway.
或许含冤被炒的一帮警察 Guys who maybe caught a bad break the last time around?
你们几个要不要重操旧业 So, you fellas want a crack at your old jobs?
小心点,我是老年人 Easy, you hooligans! I'm a senior citizen!
如果这两个星期你们干得好 And if this two-week assignment goes well,
我可能把临时工变成正式工 I might be able to make it permanent.
相信我们,错不了 Trust us. It'll go well.
你谁啊 And who are you?
我跟他们一伙的啊 Oh, I'm one of the cops.
他是我们在家得宝外面捡的 We picked him up outside of Home Depot.
棒极了 Fantastic.
你们将逐步接手一只加拿大骑警部队的工作 You'll be phasing out a Canadian Mountie unit.
我帮你们约好了明天跟他们见一面 We lined up a meet and greet with them tomorrow.
对了 Oh, yeah!
我想确保你们是一个完整的团队 I wanted to make sure you had your full team back,
我把另外那个家伙也找来了 so I tracked down your other guy too.
不会吧 No fucking way.
哦不 Oh, no.
不好意思我来晚了,抓了一个超速的驼鹿 Sorry I'm late. Hit a moose doing 90.
我把它放倒了 Vaporized the beyotch!
你们知道这儿还有爱斯基摩妓女吗? You know they have Eskimo hookers up here?
办事儿的时候她们很享受 When they have sex, they really get "Inuit".
看球 Pellet!
我操 God damn it.
法尔瓦,你个蠢货 Farva, you fuck.
我回来啦 Back in business!
我操,谁定的这些 Bullshit! Who ordered these? I can't feel my tits!
嘿 Hey!
同桌 Desk buddies, guy?
你确定你要把以前的工作辞了 Are you positive you want to quit your old job?
施工主管是个不错的工作 I mean, Construction Supervisor.
然后放弃这个打击加人队的机会 And give up the chance to crack some Canuck melons?
肯定选这活啊 I don't think so, bro-haim.
护具,搞定 Body armor, check.
战术手电筒,来点吧 Tactical flashlights. Why not?
热视镜,好的 Ooh, heat vision goggles. Check.
我们拿热视镜干嘛 Why would we need those?
拉比特,我们现在在加拿大耶 Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit.
说不定哪天要去雪里刨人 What if we have to find somebody in the snow?
佛蒙特有雪 Uh, there is snow in Vermont.
行了,订东西这事归我管 Okay, I'm the "Order stuff" Guy.
你去忙你的 You do your thing. All right?
好 Okay.
给拉比特来一件黄色安全背心 One yellow safety vest for Rabbit.
哇,巡航全球定位系统三角测量器 Woo! A roving GPS triangulator.
三角测量器,你以为你是邦德啊 Triangulator? Get a load of James Bond over here.
再给桑尼来一件黄色安全背心 Another yellow safety vest for Thorny.
桑尼,桑尼 Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.
你看这羝,它能把你代替了 Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod. You're out, he's in.
哦 Okay.
嘿,打扫得不错嘛 Hey, place looks great!
队长,你做了啥 What have you been cleaning, Cap?
你不小心点我就把你做了 I'll clean your clock if you don't watch out.
好了,开始吧 Okay, let's get started.
迈克,适可而止啊 Don't push it, Mac.
先拦几辆车呗 Get started doing some pullovers?
不,我们不拦车 No, we're not doing your pullovers.
一切按规矩来 Everything will be by the book.
一切 Everything!
队长,你知道我留了多久吗? Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing?
大脸配大胡子 Big face, big mustache.
我管你脸大不大,剃了 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it!
队长队长 Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!
我没问题吧 I'm good, right?
我顺着嘴留的 I got a tight mouth-muff.
- 这脸才大 - 队长,你脸部歧视 - Talk about big faces - That's face-ism, Cap.
不合格,剃了 Not regulation! Shave it!
行了,我们去见加拿大骑警吧 Right! Let's go and see some Mounties.
记住,表现好点 Remember the three B's: Best Behavior, Boys.
嘿 Hey.
- 你好 - 这地方像是1983年一样 - How's it going? - Feels like 1983 in here.
他们来了 Oh, there they are.
我是盖伊·勒弗朗克市长 I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.
加拿大圣约翰·罗兰的市长 Mayor of Saint Georges du Laurent, Canada!
或许我该说 Or, as it's about to be known:
美国圣约翰·罗兰 St. George of Lawrence, America.
抱歉,我的美语不好,欢迎 I don't know. I'm not so good with American. Welcome.
等一下,盖伊·勒弗朗克 Uh, the Guy LeFranc?
加拿大蒙特利尔青少年联盟 From the Montreal Canadiens Minor League system?
哈利法克斯,吃熊队的主要得分手 The leading scorer of the Halifax Bear Eaters?
加拿大冰球联赛史上得分排名第八 Eighth most points in CHL history.
是的,比薛提·费兹努格里少两分 Yeah, I know. Two points behind Shotti Fitznugly.
你看看 Look at this guy!
我喜欢冰球 I love hockey.
你的别名,额 Your nickname, um,
等一下,让我想一下,爆炸 don't tell me, it was, uh, "The Explosion".
哈利法克斯大爆炸 "The Halifax Explosion"
以广岛爆炸之前 Named after the single greatest
最大的人为爆炸命名 man-made explosion before Hiroshima.
那是1971年 It was 1917,
满载炸药的船 ship laden with dynamite
与哈利法克斯港的另一艘船相撞 crashed into another ship in Halifax Harbor.
死伤惨重 Tremendous explosion and loss of life.
当时火光巨大 Burned people's eyes out with the blast.
周围的人都睁不开眼 Many were blinded by the light.
和歌里唱的一样 Like the song says.
一个原住民部落被毁了 And a First Nations tribe was lost.
虽然这事可能迟早都会发生 Probably would've happened to them anyway,
但是确实提前了一会儿,不是吗? but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh?
所以,我是哈利法克斯第二大爆炸 So, I am the second biggest explosion from Halifax.
不说我了 But enough about me.
来认识一下我们骑警队吧 Meet the Mounties. Guys!
兄弟们,过来 Guys, come on over here.
这是阿甘博骑警 This here is Sergeant Major Roger Archambault.
这是波迪恩骑警 This is Staff Sergeant Major Henri Podein,
这是贝勒威尔骑警 and Sergeant Christophe Bellefuille.
我一句没听懂 Total gobbledygook.
我是约翰·奥海根,这是法尔瓦 I'm John O'Hagan. This is Rod Farva,
洛特,福斯特,和沃马科 Robbie Roto, Carl Foster, MacIntyre Womack
还有阿尔乔特·拉玛索恩 and Arcot Ramathorn.
我会让你们反击的 I'll let you guys chew the cud.
我们去另一个房间 Why don't we go fuck off to the other room here?
好的 Yeah, sure.
我要去喝点甜酒,,那是美国的啤酒 I'm gonna get a Schlitz! That's American for beer.
所以,你们是骑马或者@@ So, you do guys ride horses or@@
现在不是1957年了 Yeah, this isn't 1957.
我们开皇冠维多利亚 We drive Crown Victorias.
我们也是 Hey, us too. You get a little soup in them,
他们真会把你的门把手扯下来,对吗? they can really rip your knob off. Am I right?
我们听说过你们 We hear about you guy, heh?
因为最初你们的公路站台被关闭了 Because first, you get your highway station shut down.
然后你们就 And then, you get kick out
丢掉了第二份工作 from your second job because of this, uh,
就因为弗莱德·萨维奇的事 Fred Savage thing.
"萨维奇" "Savage"
至少这听起来很有趣 Makes it sound intriguing, at least.
所以你们准备在这做什么 So, what are you going to do here?
玩帽子戏法 Go for the hat trick?
我们实际上希望能保住这些工作 Well, we're actually hoping to hold on to these jobs.
你们在工作结束后都干什么 What are you guys doing after the turnover?
噢,他们要把我们调到拉布拉多市 Oh, they're transferring us up to Labrador City.
- 噢 - 棒极了 - Oh! - Cool.
太棒了 It's cool, all right.
那里冬天平均温度是零下18摄氏度 Average winter temperature is minus 18 degrees Celsius!
是的,你需要做的就是 Yeah, all you have to do to convert
将其乘以2,再加32,,再加入剩下的人类 is times two, add 32 and join the rest of the human race.
嘿,菜鸟 Hey, Rookie,
这又不含酒精的摩尔松 they got non-alcoholic Molsons over here.
要我给你半杯咖啡吗? Want me to get you a half carafe?
我们有新人了吗? 他们 Oh, we got a rookie there? They shave your nuts yet?
加拿大人的传统是你必须把 Canadian tradition says you got to shave
胸毛刮了,否则会走霉运 the rook's nuts, otherwise it's bad luck.
- 是真的吗? - 霉运 - You don't say? - Bad luck?
我事实上不是新手 I'm actually not a rookie@@
你们中哪个人资历最低 Which one of you guys has least seniority?
我的意思是,严格来说我@@ I mean, technically I@@
刮掉他的毛 Shave this guy ball!
来吧,把他的毛都刮掉 Come on, shave both of his ball.
把你下面的毛都刮掉 Shave your ball, your dick.
大家好,欢迎来到加拿大 Hello, hello! Welcome to Canada.
我是日内维奥·奥波伊斯 I'm Genevieve Aubois,
圣乔治·杜洛朗文化专员 Cultural Attach of Saint Georges du Laurent.
我将确保所有事情在接下来几周 I will see that things go smoothly
顺利进行 in the next few weeks.
另外,如果你们有任何问题 And please, if you have any questions,
请直接问我 don't hesitate to ask.
向北看,大个子 Keep heading north, big fella.
身材火爆的女人不必有漂亮脸蛋 You don't look at the mantel when
就足以令男人心驰神往,,你懂我的意思吗? you're poking the fire, you know what I'm saying?
- 对吗? 伙计们,你们懂我说的吧 - 上帝,法尔瓦 - Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right? - Jesus, Farva.
好了 Okay.
他们在另一间房等我们 Well, they are waiting for us in the other room.
所以,请跟我走 So, please, suivez-moi.
谁在哪等我们 Who is waiting where?
兄弟,我不知道整个镇的人都在这了 Boy, I didn't know the whole town was gonna be here.
噢 Oh.
这是在说我的胡子吗? It's about my mustache, right?
他们在嘲笑我的胡子 They're laughing at my mustache?
请大家给予佛蒙特州公路巡警 Please, let's give a big Canadian welcome
一个盛大的加拿大式欢迎 to the Vermont Highway Patrol.
嘿,大家好 Hey, hey, everyone!
请大家安静,他们来到这 Come on, guys. They've come up here
来告诉我们成为美国人 to tell us how great it's gonna be
是有多么美好 for all of us to become Americans.
所以,有请他们讲话,队长 So, let them speak. Captain?
嗯 Uh@@
晚上好 Bonsoir.
这让我想起了独木舟中的拉比 You know, this reminds me of the story of the rabbi,
牧师和印度教徒的故事 the priest, and the Hindu in a canoe.
吹去吧 Go blow yourself!
我是队长约翰·奥海根 I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I@@
嗨,吃了它,你这个老秃驴 Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!
嘿,放松,嘿,听着,听着 Hey, easy. Hey, look, look.
严格来说,我们都是美洲人对吗? Technically, we're all Americans, right?
北美人 North Americans.
只有一点点小小的改变 Very little is gonna change around here.
是的,你大概是要告诉我们 Oh, yeah, right! You're probably gonna tell us
我们不能再听拉什 we can't listen to Rush anymore!
或者裸女乐团 Or the Barenaked Ladies!
嘿,嘿,嘿 Hey. Hey. Hey!
所有人 People, people.
我爱拉什和裸女乐团 I love Rush and the Barenaked Ladies.
你应该都听听 You should listen to both.
所以你们在要求我们去听谁 So, you are telling us who to listen to!
不,不是,我只是@@ No, no. I'm just@@
然后那个人会告诉我们 And then that one's gonna tell us
我们得开始吃玉米饼了 we have to start eating tortillas!
- 这是个错误 - 狗屎 - It's a common mistake - Bullshit!
嘿,听着 Hey! Listen up.
现在这里是美国了,要么爱它要么忍耐 This is America now. Like it or lump it!
跟我念 Repeat after me:
我宣誓效忠于 I pledge of allegiance to the flag
美利坚合众国 of the United States of America.
记住了 Learn the words!
操 Fuck you!
你永远不知道如何打曲棍球 You don't even know how to play hockey!
我不认为他们会认为是占领军 I didn't think they'd see us as an occupying force.
哦天呐,你的眼睛 Oh, my God! Your eye.
可能会留疤 That might leave a scar.
我看上去足够漂亮了 I was looking too pretty anyway.
我可以帮你到我车里缝一下 I can sew you up at my car.
你是个医生 You're a doctor?
不,不是,我执教女子曲棍球队 No, no. I coach the girls' hockey team,
所以我有自己的方法 so I know my way around a gash.
你在@@ Are you making a@@
是的,这是一种对阴道的双重要求 Oui. A double entendre for la vagine.
走吧,快点 Let's go, quickly!
我以为加拿大人是无害的 I thought Canadians are supposed to be harmless.
噢拜托,放他们一马吧 Oh, come on. Cut them some slack.
他们只是为失去了身份而难过 They're upset about losing their identities.
他们叫你老秃驴,难道你不生气吗? They called you an old donkey. Doesn't that piss you off?
我不喜欢这样 Well, I don't love it.
事实上,我昨晚一夜没睡 Actually, I didn't sleep at all last night.
但我们有工作要做 But we got a job to do.
- 拉比特,你的头怎么了 - 没事 - Rabbit, how's your head? - It's okay.
嗯@@,日内维奥,她,帮我包过了 That, uh@@ Genevieve, she, uh, patched me up.
噢拜托 Oh, please!
弗兰奇整晚都盯着我的大腿 Frenchy had her eyes on my thighs all night long.
- 哇 - 是吗? - Yeah - Did she, now?
是吗? 继续笑啊 Oh, yeah? Keep laughing.
我赌一块钱,我把她的黑纱先搞掉 I bet you a buck I bang the crape out of her first.
好啊 Okay.
把钱花在刀刃上 Put your money where your mouth's been.
去他妈的美元,,输的人坐仙人掌 Fuck the buck. Loser sits on a cactus.
不,输的人去烫头发 No, loser gets a perm.
不,输的人用铲子把小拇指割掉 No, loser cuts his pinky-toe off with a shovel.
用这个赌注 Take that bet.
我建议你用这个赌注 I suggest you take the bet,
- 拉比特,真的 - 跳过来 - Rabbit. Really, honestly - Jump on it.
求你闭嘴吧,法尔瓦 Please shut up, Farva.
好了,我们有一个赌约 Okay. We have a deal.
你听见了,对吧,我们有个赌约 You heard it, right? We have a deal.
所以,这就是他们关押非法移民的地方 Oh, so, this is where they keep the illegal aliens, huh?
欢迎,长官们 Ah, welcome, Officers!
欢迎那些站在旁边的人 Welcome to the guys who stood around
当人们向我们扔曲棍球时 while people threw hockey pucks at us?
你得上来谈谈 You gonna come up here talking
那些"让美国变伟大"的废话 all that "Make America Great" Crap,
你会看到一张全是加拿大番茄的脸 you're bound to catch a face full of Canadian tomato.
好吧,听着 Okay, okay. Listen up.
你们两个和骑警一起去 Two of you are gonna ride with the Mounties.
他们会告诉你尸体埋在哪里们 They'll show you where the bodies are buried.
- 不 - 事实上就是你们俩 - Not it - Actually, it is you two.
伙计们,这也不是我们所谓的快乐时光 It's not our idea of a good time either, fellas.
个人而言,我更愿意操一只麋鹿 Personally, I'd rather fuck a moose.
你需要一个梯子来这么做 You would need a ladder to do that.
显然我需要一个梯子来操麋鹿 Obviously, I would need a ladder to fuck a moose.
但我会找到一个梯子的,并且我也会操那只麋鹿 But I would find one, and I would fuck that moose.
好了 Okay!
桑尼,拉比特,我这有个高速公路的活给你们 Thorny, Rabbit, I got a highway job for you.
开始吧 Let's do it!
嘿,队长 Hey, Cap? Cap?
我要开谁的车 Whose car do I ride in?
你为什么不跟我留在这呢 Why don't you stay here with me?
坐下 Sit over here.
那是电台 That's the radio, though.
好主意 Great idea!
这样,如果有电话打进来,你可以接 That way, if a call comes in, you can answer it.
啊 Huh?
好吧,就今天,可以吗? Okay, just today, though, okay?
所有人轮着来,这是个新站 Everyone takes a turn. It's a new station.
操他妈的电台 Fuckin' radio.
这他妈的是什么东西 What the fuck is this shit?
我想说,不会杀死他对吧 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it?
我不知道,你想杀了他吗? I don't know. Do you want it to kill him?
来吧 Allons-y!
等一下 Just a minute!
等@@ Just a, uh@@
加拿大语怎么说"分钟" What's Canadian for "Minute"?
啊 Ah.
他们在那,好的 There they are. Okay.
嗯 Hm.
你在整个吞下M&M豆吗? Are you swallowing M&M's whole?
是的,绿色的豆让我上瘾 Yeah. The green ones make me horny.
你为什么不嚼下它们 Why don't you chew them first?
他们都会去到同一个地方,不是吗? They all go to the same place, right?
嘿,法尔瓦,我可以测试下电台吗? Hey, Farva, can I get a radio check?
为什么要电击你的朋友,兄弟 Why did you shock your buddy, buddy?
你知道的,每份工作都有一个人让你喜欢欺负他 You know, every job has that one guy that you love to hate.
是的,真讨厌又畸形 Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish.
好吧,你是说像典型的美国人 Oh, yeah, you mean like your typical American?
还在等待电台检查 Still waiting on that radio check.
去你妈的狗屎 Fuckin' shit!
这是个很棒的任务 This is an awesome assignment.
来吧,太棒了,在外面,又能工作 Oh, come on, it's great. Outside. On duty.
嘿,英语里每小时80公里是多少 Hey, what's 80 kilometers per hour in English?
我猜是49.7097英里每小时 I guess 49.7097 miles per hour.
我想没有小数 Uh, I don't think we have any decimals.
- 你有记号笔吗? - 没有 - Do you have a Sharpie? - Uh, no.
23队,收到,23,23队,收到,23 Unit 23. Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23.
电台,我们要保持公制直到交班 Radio, until the turnover, we have to keep things metric.
所以我们现在是37.015队,重复一遍 So we are now Unit 37.015. Try again.
随便 Whatever.
我接到了来自77号公路的电话 I got a call out on Rue de Autoroute 77
或者是雅克兄弟的废话 or some Frare Jacques bullshit.
路上有一群死加拿大鹅 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian Geese on the road.
是的,在上面,他们叫它们鹅,电台 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, Radio.
是的,两周后,我叫它们美国鹅 Yeah, well, in two weeks, I call them American Geese.
嘎嘎,去把它们清理干净 Honk, honk. Go clean them off.
那是个大16.09- 6436,兄弟 That's a big 16.09-6436, good buddy.
看,那是煎蛋饼 Ah, ya, there's the Pancake Shed.
那是Flapjack's. And that's the Flapjack's.
右边 Oh, there on the right,
那是吉吉的鱼饵钓具和煎蛋饼店 that's Gigi's Bait, Tackle and Pancakes.
但他们更有名的 But they're really known
- 是他们的华夫饼 - 是的 - more for their waffles - Yeah, they are.
听起来女王一定会喜欢煎蛋饼 Sounds like the Queen must really love pancakes.
那是什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
你们还在英格兰女王陛下的统治下吗? Aren't you guys still ruled by the Queen of England?
我是说,她把你们的钱都花光了 I mean, she's all over your money.
我给你科普一下 I'll have you know that
我们1982年就已经独立了 we achieved our independence in 1982.
- 哦 - 哦 - Ooh! - Oh!
1982 1982.
威姆在大会仪式上表演了吗? Did Wham! Perform at the ceremony?
如果我们早一点独立 Maybe if we had our independence sooner,
就不会有枪支管制,也不相信进化论了 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution
然后所有人都变得超级肥,没有医疗保险 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare.
就在这儿停车吧 Why don't you pull in right up here?
带你去见一见当地的商业大鳄 Time for you to meet the local business owners.
妓女 Escorts?
哥们儿,我们到了 Here we are, boys.
我们是来这儿拆妓院的吗? Are we here to bust up a cat-house?
你不能因为人家硬了就逮捕人家 You can't arrest people for having boners.
在这是合法的,老美 It's legal up here, Yank.
曲棍球主题,双性妓院 A hockey-themed, dual-sex bordello.
我们美国有这个吗? Do we have that in the U.S.?
不知道,不过让我上吧,教练 I don't know, but put me in, Coach.
哦,哦,看谁来了,条子 Oh, oh! Look who it is! It's the fuzz.
市长也来逛窑子 The Mayor hangs out in a bordello?
不,市长开的这家妓院 No, the Mayor own the bordello.
拿着,哥们儿 Here you go, boys.
来杯啤酒玩个桌游怎么样,我买单 How about a beer and a tug? On the house.
- 你好呀 - 哦,呃 - Hey! - Oh, uh@@
呃,等会儿吧 Uh, maybe later.
哦,我懂了,姑娘们撤 Oh, I understand. Scram, girls.
- 最近怎么啊,啊 - 呃,不不,等下再说 - How's it going, eh? - Yeah, no, no. Maybe later.
你们这群人 You guys!
你们不喜欢女人,也不喜欢男人 You don't like women, you don't like men.
我还能怎么办,找一只河狸取悦你们吗? I mean, what should I get, a river beaver to pleasure you?
开玩笑,他们牙齿太尖了,太可怕了 It's a joke. Their teeth are so sharp, it would be horrible.
我能为你们做点什么 How can I help you fellas?
哦,这些老美想来谈谈美国法律的事情 Oh, the Yanks want to talk about their U.S. Laws.
你知道,比如卖很不怎么样的啤酒 You know, like serving weaker beer
然后把妓院关了 and shutting down brothels.
把妓院关了 Shutting down brothels?
谁让你这么做的 Who put you up to this?
是挈资·彭唐的让·保尔妓院吗? Was it Jean-Paul down at Chez Poontang?
嗯,你们想拉倒我 Huh? You guys pulling my chain?
听着,我不觉得我们需要 Look, I don't think this is anything
立刻来处理任何事 we need to get too hung up on right now.
我简直不能相信在美国 I can't believe down in the States,
来杯啤酒,玩咪咪和丁丁是违法的 it's illegal to have a beer and enjoy tits and a dick.
你看,嘟,嘟 I mean, beep beep!
- 不会受伤啊 - 哦,呃 - There's no harm there - Oh. Uh@@
- 可以健身,看到吧 - 哇哦 - Good workout, eh? - Wow.
讲真,哥们,我们不是来摆法条的 Honestly, Guy, we're not here to lay down any laws.
如果有什么误会我们真的很抱歉 We're very sorry if there's been a misunderstanding.
"我们很抱歉","抱歉" "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry"
不好意思,可是听起来好蠢 I'm sorry, but that sounds stupid.
- 好抱歉 - 抱歉 - So sahrry - Sahrry.
我知道,挺搞笑的 It's funny. I know.
你到底对我们的啤酒有什么不满的 And what exactly is your beef with our beer?
哦,我对啤酒没有什么不满 Oh, I don't have any problem with the beer.
我的意思是,在美国啤酒的酒精度不可以超过百分之九 I mean, I think the limit in the U.S. Is what, nine percent?
百分之九,那你们怎么喝醉 Nine percent? How are you supposed to get drunk?
我的意思,你知道的 I mean, you know,
我觉得是多喝一点这个弱鸡的东西 I think the idea is you drink more of the weaker stuff.
我也这么觉得 I bet it is.
你们美国老什么东西都吃都喝 You Americans drinking and eating everything.
- 哦,不,你们不应该啊 - 太肥了 - Oh, no, you shouldn't - So fat.
来这儿帮帮我们,怎么样 How about a little help over here, huh?
没错,我不觉得我们在这边有管辖权,兄弟 Yeah, I don't think we have jurisdiction here anymore, buddy.
好吧,好吧 Okay, all right.
我们来这儿不是为了"搞砸"你们的权利 It's not like we're here to "Screw you" Out of your rights.
没错,你们不是 Darn tootin' you're not.
好了,没事,放松 Okay, look, relax.
滚开,你们这些美国猪 Go away, you American pigs!
- 回家去 - 哦 - Go home! - Oh!
别冲动 Take it easy.
打,打,打,打 Fight, fight, fight, fight!
不好意思,意外 Sorry about that. It was an accident.
滚出去 Get out of here!
放开我 Get the fuck off me.
妈的,狗娘养的,妈的 Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you!
- 佛蒙特好烂 - 谢谢 - Vermont sucks, eh! - Thank you.
再见,美女 See you later, sunshine!
- 傻逼美国佬 - 再见 - Stupid Americans! - Cheerio!
好吧,这工作并没有想的那么好玩 Okay, this job isn't as fun as I thought it was.
自大的美国佬 Arrogant American!
整个世界都用公制,你有啥意见吗? The whole world's metric. What's your problem, eh?
走你的吧,先生 Just doing our job, sir.
你身高185 You're 185 centimeters tall,
体重92千克,早点习惯 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it!
好的 Okay.
你们的权威在这里屁用没有 Your authority don't mean cheese up here.
我都不知道她说我胖还是瘦 I can't tell if he's calling me skinny or fat.
警官请求帮助 Officers requesting assistance
地点在四号公路的大爆炸妓院 at the L'Explosion Bordello on Route Four.
我们被妓女攻击了 We are under assault by hookers.
好多妓女,有男人也有女人 Lots of them. Male and female.
收到,91,我们马上就到 Copy, 91. We'll be right there.
等我们和穿着维秘吹箫的姑娘们 Just as soon as we finish taking selfies
自拍完马上就过去 with the Victoria's Secret Blow Job Team.
我没开玩笑,桑尼,好多妓女啊 I'm not kidding, Thorny! There's too many of them.
你能把你的丁丁从我脸上拿走吗? Will you get your dick out of my face!
我刚刚,亮了 I just@@ I got glitter!
闪啊闪,闪啊闪 Glittering and@@ Glittering and@@
太棒了,好像我们没离开一样 I love it. It's like we never left.
什么鬼,远程司机 What the hell? Remote driver?
幽灵车 Ghost car?
我们刚钻好的牌子 We drilled that sign!
他们是小孩子 They're kids.
把钥匙给我 Give me those keys.
啊,不许咬,你这个坏孩子 Ow! No biting, you little shit kid!
小孩,你叫什么名字 What's your name, kid?
陌生人好危险,陌生人好危险 Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
你从哪儿弄到的车 Where did you get the car?
滚蛋吧,条子 Suck it, cop!
我勒个去 Holy Christmas.
哦,天哪 Oh, my God.
这些都是兴奋剂 They're all hopped up on goofballs.
你抓不到我 You can't catch me!
我要去拿我的豆袋枪 I'm gonna get my bean bag gun!
告诉我你从哪儿搞到的这些 Show me where you got these
我就让你玩我的泰瑟枪 and I'll let you play with my Taser.
哦,好耶,好耶 Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
我们得小心点 We gotta be careful.
这种景象可是会有致命的 This is the kind of image that could go viral.
那儿 There!
好了,冷静点,孩子们 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys.
呆着,不要动 Stay! Stay.
怎么了,索佩 What's up, Soapy?
有更多毒品 More pills?
苹果公司换商标了 Did Apple change their logo?
看看这些 What have we here?
古巴的 Cubans.
你一定像在家一样 Must make you feel right at home.
货不错啊 Good one.
药,药,药 Pills, pills, pills!
哦,孩子们 Oh, boy.
革命万岁,宝贝 Viva la revolucion, baby!
- 耶,耶,耶 - 哎 - Ay, ay, ay! - Ugh.
你听说过古巴禁运吗? You ever hear of the Cuban Embargo?
禁运也不是新闻了 That embargo is yesterday's news.
对我来说不是啊 Not for me it isn't.
就像卡斯特罗,又凉又皱的丁丁 That's like sucking Castro's cold wrinkled dick.
古巴的雪茄 Cuban cigars,
山寨爱疯和没牌子的药片 counterfeit iPhones and unmarked pills.
我们还是有收获的 We got something here.
你们只是偶然发现了一个藏货窝点 You boys stumbled on quite a booty closet.
现在是怎样 A what now?
藏货,违禁品 Booty. Contraband.
啥,现在都不说藏货这个词了吗? What? They don't say "Booty" Anymore?
- 不,不怎么说了 - 好吧 - Not really, no - Nah.
加拿大山寨爱疯？ Canadian counterfeit iPhones?
我们应该管它叫哎疯,对吧 We should call them A-Phones, eh? Right?
他们的号码都一样,这是剽窃 They all have the same number? That's a rip-off.
药片都有哪些种类 So, what pills do we have?
不确定 Not sure.
五种,没有一个标明是什么的 Five different kinds. None of them have markings.
送去实验室 Send them to the lab.
试过了,美国实验室说送去加拿大实验室 I tried! The U.S. Lab said send them to the Canadian lab.
加拿大实验室说 The Canadian lab said,
"哦,你好呀 "Oh, ya, hey there.
把他们送去美国实验室" "Send 'em over to the U.S. Lab there"
可能那些骑警使了绊子 Maybe the Mounties have some pull?
哦 Boo!
那些操蛋的骑警 Fuck the Mounties!
- 操蛋的加拿大 - 妈的 - Fuckin' Canada - Fuck that.
据我们所知,这是皇家骑警队 For all we know, this was the Mounties.
针对地方警察的阴谋 Easy on the local cop conspiracies.
我们还是自己解决这个案子 We'll solve this case ourselves.
我给蒙彼利埃打个电话 I'll put a call out to Montpelier,
看看能不能为我们联系上一个实验室 see if they can line up a lab for us.
哇,哇,我才不想让一个穿实验室制服的呆子 Wah, wah! I don't need some nerd
告诉我这是什么 in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is.
有时候我都服你 Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you,
你个怪胎 you weird son of a bitch.
但是为什么你吃药片要嚼 But why is it that you chew a pill
却生吞M&M豆 yet you swallow M&M's whole?
我是个复杂的人,迈克 I'm a complicated guy, Mac.
好吧,好吧 Okay. All right.
文艺复兴之后再见啦 See you boys in the Renaissance Period.
咻 Huzzah!
动不了了 Can't move.
我嘴巴好干 My mouth's dry.
你觉得是什么,像重巴比妥酸盐吧 What do you think, like a heavy barbiturate?
肯能是肌肉松弛 Maybe a muscle relaxant?
你真的不能动吗? You really can't move?
我麻了,全身都麻了 I'm numb. I'm totally numb.
好吧 Okay.
你要干嘛 What are you doing?
哦 Oh!
尼玛,迈克,我需要医疗援助 Fuck you, Mac. I need medical attention.
副作用可能包括肥胖和烦躁 Side effects may include fatness and irritability.
我觉得是情绪加强剂 I think it's a mood enhancer.
妈卖批 God damn it.
起码我心情变好了 I know I'm in a better mood.
我们还有粘苍蝇的胶带吗? Do we have any more fly strips?
我想给他做个头带 I want to make him a headband.
- 这个需要速度,对吧 - 没错 - That's gotta be speed, right? - Absolutely.
哇,你看起来怪怪的 Wow. You seem kinda wired.
我只是很开心能重回工作岗位 I'm just psyched to be back on the job!
这样,好吧,我就知道你会开心的 Yeah, okay, well, I knew you would be.
哦,对了,我和你说 Ooh, did I tell ya the oth@@
哦,对了,我有,我有一个三角测量仪了 Oh, yeah, I got, I got a triangulator.
你要三角测量仪有什么用 Why would you need a triangulator?
为啥每个人都要这么说 Why does everyone keep saying that?
为了测量三角啊,宝贝 To triangulate, baby!
对了,我们好久没有跳过舞了 Hey, how come we never go dancing anymore?
等我回家,我们跳到嗨 When I get home, we're gonna go fuckin' dancing.
好呀,我都等不及了 Okay. I can't wait.
拉比特,给我点柠檬水 Rabbit, get me some lemonade.
拉比特,给我点柠檬水 Rabbit. Get me some lemonade, please.
他妈给我点柠檬水,菜鸟 Get me some goddamn lemonade, rookie!
不许叫我菜鸟,你个混球 Don't you call me rookie, you fucker!
我他妈会把拳头锤在你的头上 I will fucking put my fist right through your head!
- 我觉得会搞突袭 - 绝对的 - I'm thinkin' 'roids - Absolutely.
你怎么样,有什么感觉 How about you? You feel anything?
嘴巴湿湿,掌心出汗 Wet mouth. Sweaty palms.
耳道也湿湿的,我感觉有点情绪化 Moist ear canals. And I'm just feeling emotional.
嗯,好吧 Hm. Okay.
我觉得你吃了加拿大 I think you took a Canadian female
一种女性春药叫福罗瓦·斯科夏 ,[一种增强女性性征的荷尔蒙] sexual enhancement drug called Flova Scotia.
"加拿大产,美国禁药" "Made in Canada, but banned in the U.S"
当时机来临时 When the time is right,
但你没有准备好 but you're not.
福罗瓦·斯科夏,谁试谁知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
副作用包括 Side effects may include
唾沫分泌增多,掌心出汗,耳朵潮湿,阴部发潮 wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin,
胸部静脉曲张,掉发,阴道屁,婊里婊气 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness.
福罗瓦·斯科夏,谁试谁知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
竟然能在加拿大电视台说"阴道屁"这种词 You can say "Queefing" On Canadian TV?
哈,这国家绝了 Ha! What a country!
你呢,你好难闻啊 What about you? You're awful smiley.
我有点幻觉 I'm on acid.
药物幻觉吗? 这东西真的存在吗? Pharmaceutical acid? Is there such a thing?
不知道,但是我知道你的胡子 Don't know. But I do know you have exactly
一共长了1509条毛 1,509 hairs in your mustache.
很接近,1521,我在我生日的时候还算了一下 Close! 1,521. I had them counted for my birthday.
- 真的吗? - 是的 - Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗? - 是的 - Really? - Yeah!
我不知道该信什么了,桑尼 I don't know what to believe, Thorn!
- 好吧 - 你千万别那样做 - Okay - Don't you do that.
我真的很想那样做 I'm really looking forward to this.
呃 Well?
伙计们你们想到什么了吗? You guys come up with anything?
是的我们找到一些非常有趣的线索 Indeed we have some very interesting leads.
有些是从那台电脑里面找的 Some of them from that computer!
我觉得我们现在这个案子已经很有眉目了 I think that we are on top of this case.
我们要找出是谁干的 We're gonna find out who did this
然后我们要狠狠的踩他们的脸 and we're gonna stomp in their stupid fucking faces!
好吧 Okay.
嗯,那个小木棚线索已经断了 Well, the shack's a dead end.
它建在一片荒地上并且属于一个已经不存在的公司 It's on abandoned land owned by a defunct mining company.
所以,任何一个人都有可能把这些赃物放在那里 So, anyone could have put the booty out there.
你为啥在笑,笑脸哥 Why you laughing, Guy Smiley?
好的,如果我们监视那个小木棚 Okay, if we stake out the shack
或许我们可以抓到来往这个地方的人 maybe we can catch someone coming or going.
我们回去那个地方吧 Let's get back out there.
法尔瓦,开电台 Farva, hit the radio.
你听到了吗? You hearing this?
快去,开电台 Come on! Hit the radio!
法尔瓦,快点 Farva! Come on!
噢哦 Uh-oh.
喔噢 Woo-hoo!
我喜欢草 I love grass!
我喜欢生活 I love life!
我喜欢音乐 I love music!
想想小狗,不要想类固醇 Think puppies, not steroids.
笑笑,小狗 Smiling. Puppies.
呼 Whew!
小兔,小兔 Bunnies! Bunnies!
你好,小兔,嗨 Hi, bunny. Hi.
小兔,我的名字叫拉比特,噢,小可爱 Rabbit. My name's Rabbit. Oh, so cute little thing.
啵,啵,啵,啵 Bub, bub, bub, bub.
呆在那里 Just stay there!
感觉类固醇在消散了 Feel the steroids melting away.
不要让工作压力搞垮你啊 Don't let the job stress you out.
我喜欢这份工作 I love the job.
工作压力没有压垮我,法尔瓦反而让我压力重重 Doesn't stress me out. Farva stresses me out.
真是遗憾 Such a shame.
为什么长得好看的人总是那么惹人讨厌 Why are the good-looking ones always so obnoxious?
你觉得他长得很好看吗? You think he's good-looking?
"臀部有多丰硕,推车就有多给力" "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushing"
- 不 - 不 - No - No.
我更宁愿和一只狒狒做爱 I would rather have sex with a baboon.
但是这很有趣,不是吗? It's funny though, huh?
我们都和一个很糟糕的人一起工作 We all have that one horrible person we work with.
对于我来说,就是我的办公室经理朗尼·拉鲁什 For me, it's my office manager Lonnie Laloush.
噢,他真的是"一团叽叭" Oh, he can be such a "Deeckwad".
怎么了 What?
就是你的口音很好笑 It's just with your accent,
你说"一团鸡巴"的样子很可爱 the way you say "Dickwad" Is adorable.
不,是真的,他就是一团叽叭 No, but it's true. He is a deeckwad.
先是偷走了我们的工作 First you steal our job
然后你就坐在这里 and now you sit here
充满爱意的凝视我们的女人的眼睛 gazing lovingly into the eyes of our women.
你们的女人 Your women?
哼,或许我们应该带他去后面 Well, maybe we should take him in the back,
给他来点加拿大握手,呵 give him Canadian handshake, eh?
那是啥 What's that?
简单跟你说就是会有一大袋冰球 Let's just say it involve a bag of hockey puck
和很多热热的浓汁 and a lot of warm gravy.
嗯,听起来很美味 Mm. Sounds delicious.
走开走开 Make way!
热汤来啦 Hot soup coming through!
噢,加拿大刺头,哈 Oh, Canadian standoff, huh?
噢,看起来像霍金博士 Oh, it look like professor Stephen Hawking
最近放纵自己到处乱跑了 has really let himself go these days.
当上帝创造加拿大的时候 When God created Canada,
就好像宇宙放了个屁 it was like the universe farted.
为什么那些胖胖老是骑着 Why do all the fat one always ride around
这些助力车跑来跑去 on these little scooters?
你有停下来想过如果你走路的话 You ever stop and think that if you walk,
你有可能会变瘦吗? you might actually be thin?
哇 Wow.
这些猪在骚扰残疾人啊 These pigs are harassing the handicapped!
大家快看,拍个手机视频 Everybody look. Take a phone video!
- 嗨,别碰他 - 嗨,这件事不会就这样算了的 - Hey! Leave him alone! - Hey! This it is far from over.
- 你想去TJ的商场吗? - 好 - You want to go to TJ's Arcade? - Oui.
我要去换些一块钱的散钱 I have some loonie I need to break.
这很好 C'est bon.
屌毛法国佬 Fuckin' Frenchies.
你们两个在干嘛呢,逛商场吗? What are you two doing together? Mall walking?
我们在宠物店偶遇了 We ran into each other at the pet store.
拉比特,你们想买一只新的沙鼠吗? Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil?
嗨,日内维奥,我们两个去 Hey, Gwenevieve how about the two of us
那家萨斯喀彻温宫殿 go over to the Saskatchuan Palace
吃个馄饨面 and get a wang dang doodle?
呃,不 Uh, non.
噢,汪汪,再加两声狗叫我就咬了 Ooh, woof woof. Put a little bark on that and I'll bite.
好吧我要走了 Okay, I'm going to go.
真高兴见到你 It was great seeing you.
不要记到我的账上 Don't leave on my account.
呵,真神气,不是吗? Uh-huh! Cocky, huh?
我们打的赌还算数吗? How about we up the bet?
我们没打赌,法尔瓦 There is no bet, Farva.
好,那我们再打个赌好了 Okay, new bet then.
输的人不仅要用铲子切掉自己的小拇指 Loser not only cuts off his pinky toe with a shovel,
还要把它放到搅拌机里搅拌 he puts it in a blender
然后打成奶昔喝掉,趾甲和其他杂碎都要哦 and drinks it in a smoothie, toenail and all.
去你的吧 Come on.
拉钩上吊,一百年不许变 Shake it, don't mistake it.
你认真的吗? You're serious?
就像我不会拿心脏病发作开玩笑一样 Serious as a heart attack.
这个我很肯定,因为我试过两次 And I should know. I've had two.
- 哇 - 小拇指奶昔 - Wow - Pinky toe smoothie!
找人来清理一下这里啊 Somebody clean this up.
婊子养的 Son of a bitch.
嗨 Hey!
热成像眼镜到货啦 Heat goggles have arrived!
看起来很性感啊,迈克 Looking hot, Mac.
嗨,镀镍手铐 Hey, nickel plated cuffs!
噢,去,这些东西不怎么好使啊 Oh, shit. These things are defective.
它们怎么了 What's wrong with them?
它们好像锁不上 They don't seem to lock.
来,给我看看 Here. Let me see.
嗨,拉比特,把手给我 Here you go, Rabbit, give me that hand.
- 我这个没问题能用 - 可能是这个 - I got mine to work - Maybe it's this one.
- 好的 - 噢,这个也很好用,可以,很好 - Okay - Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good.
- 试试脚链 Try the ankle ones.
是的,你一定要试试脚链 Oh, you always gotta check the ankle ones.
那是最重要的 That's the most important.
完成啦 And here we go.
你们这群婊子养的 You son-a-bitches.
别刮我的蛋蛋毛 You're not shaving my balls!
如果我们不这样做的话就侮辱了加拿大的习俗了 It would be an insult to our Canadian hosts if we didn't.
我不是新兵蛋子了,快解开我 I'm not a rookie anymore. Get these off me.
你不想做两国善意的大使吗? Do you not want to be an ambassador of goodwill?
不,我不想,快解开我 No. I don't. Get these off me.
拉比特,不是我们要刮你蛋蛋毛 Rabbit, it's not like we want to shave your balls.
桑尼,你想刮他蛋蛋毛吗? Thorny, do you want to shave his balls?
- 我吗? 打死都不要 - 福斯特呢 - Me? Hell no - Foster?
- 不干 - 你不想刮他蛋蛋毛对吧,法尔瓦 - No way - You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva?
我想刮很久了 Hell yeah, I do!
我甚至跑出去买了 I even went out and bought
一种旧的直刀片剃须刀 one of those old-timey straight razors.
- 不,不 - 快看看 - No. No - Check this out.
我的天 Jesus!
狗日的加拿大电线 Goddamn Canadian wiring!
快把我电出屎了 It's wrecking my freakin' sperm count!
那还在吃Flova,Scotia吗? Are you still taking the Flova Scotia?
你是没听懂 What part of "Side effects include
"副作用包括阴道屁和婊里婊气"这句话吗? "Queefing and bitchiness" Did you not understand?
兄弟,高潮真是太爽了 Dude, the orgasms are like a moonshot.
你不能一直吃女性荷尔蒙 You can't keep taking female hormones.
会让你变紊乱的 It's gonna mess you up.
妒嫉我吗? Jealous much?
你跟谁高潮呢你 Now who are you orgasming with?
她的名字是魁北克·黛比 Her name is Quebecois Debbie.
噢,桑尼,你的鸡鸡,好大啊 Oh, Thorny, your cock, she is so wide.
我会操她的 I'd fuck her.
- 好吧我们来刮蛋蛋毛 - 不 - Okay, let's shave this - Don't.
准备好了吗? Ready?
讲真,便闹了,兄弟们 Seriously, cut the crap, guys.
哎 Ahem!
我们岗哨站有一只熊 There's a bear in the station.
这是想委婉的表达什么吗?还是 Is that a euphemism for something?
我想委婉的表达有一只他妈的熊 It's a euphemism for there's a goddamn bear
在他妈的岗哨站里吃生肉 eating slabs of raw meat in the goddamn station!
- 好吧,是熊 - 好的 - Yeah. Bear - Okay.
枪在哪里 Where are the guns?
跟熊放到一起了 In the room with the bear.
催泪弹呢 Tear gas grenades?
- 刚刚到货 - 真好,放在哪里了 - I just got a new delivery! - There you go! Where is it?
- 跟枪和熊放在一个屋子里了 In the room with the guns and the bear.
我们放拉比特去屌那个熊怎么样 What if we send Rabbit out to fuck the bear
来吸引熊的注意呢 as a means of distracting said bear?
- 好 - 我去你们的 - Yes - God damn it,
我们要把生肉扔出去 we've got to get the meat out of there!
好吧,靠,我去 Fine, fuck it. I'll do it.
- 我跟你一起去 - 真的吗? - I'll go with you - Really?
是的,最坏能发生什么嘛 Yeah. What's the worst that could happen?
你被熊撕成一块块 You get mauled by the bear.
或者我把熊撕成渣 Or that bear could get mauled by me.
- 你想过吗? - 不,我没有 - You ever think about that? - No, I didn't.
好,计划是这样的 Okay, here's the plan:
我去那里吸引那个熊注意 I'll go out there and distract the bear,
然后你去拿肉 while you get the meat
然后快速跑出岗哨站 and get it the hell out of the station.
推弹杆战队 Team Ram-Rod!
请不要用那样糟糕的东西开头 Please don't start with that shit.
祝你好运,伙计们 Good luck, fellas.
好的,你呆在那里 Okay. You stay here.
大宝贝,嗨,大宝贝 Big boy. Hey, big boy!
- 噢,天哪 - 噢,不 - Oh, boy - Oh, no.
来,迪克塔,来,来这里,宝贝 Come here, Ditka. Come here. Come here, boy!
去,去,去 Go, go, go.
快 Come on!
快,快 Come on! Come on!
快,快 Come, come!
好 Okay.
非常好 Okay, okay.
去你的,蠢熊 Fuck you, bear.
完了 Shit.
完蛋了 Shit.
走,走,走 Go, go, go, go!
嘿,嘿 Hey. Hey.
快走开,停 Get out of there. Stop.
- 我应该开枪吗? - 打谁,法尔瓦吗? - Should I shoot him? - Who? Farva?
喔,好主意 Ooh, good idea.
别别别,别过来 No, no! No, no, no.
快走开 Go away!
哦 Oh!
走开,熊 Get away, bear.
走,走,走 Go! Go! Go!
快点走,靠 Get out of here. Fuck.
我的妈呀,我差点就羊入"熊"口了 Holy shit, I "Bear-ly" Made it.
那真是被"熊"了 That could've been "Grizzly".
没错 Yeah.
有人在这里喝了啤酒 I think someone took a "Growler" In here.
打他 Shoot him.
傻逼骑警 Fuckin' Mounties!
真他妈该死 Son of a bitch!
他们从我们到的时候就开始挑事 Those guys have been assholes since the moment we arrived
现在又想来搞死我们 and now they are trying to kill us.
现在他们不仅仅是把我们惹毛了 This goes a lot farther than just being angry
我看他们是不想好好过了 about losing their jobs.
老大,我们之前被他们用冰球袭击过 Cap, we've been pelted by hockey pucks,
当面被他们用丁丁洗礼过 had dicks tugged in front of our faces
被同时拥有两个性别的妓女踢过屁股 and gotten our asses kicked by prostitutes of both sexes.
我觉得是我们出手还击的时候了,有人同意吗? I think it's time we had our own fun. Who's with me?
对,我们要还击 Yeah! Let's go!
哥们,你都他妈臭了 Dude, you fuckin' stink.
不好意思 Sorry.
哎,哎,有人在吗? Guys! Guys! Anyone?
剃须膏开始蛰得慌了 The shaving cream is starting to burn.
你们用了薄荷吗? Did you use menthol?!
脱发,御姐又饥渴 Hair loss, queefing and bitchiness.
福罗瓦·斯科夏,谁试谁知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
妈的没错,他们是同一个人,哥们 Fuckin' rights. It's the same guy, bud.
不不不,不是一个,那个 No, no, no. It's a different guy, that guy, eh.
对,就是,他是丹尼·德维托 Yeah, no! That's Danny DeVito!
丹尼·德维托是[计程车]的演员 Danny DeVito is the actor from Taxi,
但是本宝宝喜欢的是 but that guy I like,
他演的那个[费城永远阳光灿烂] he come out on Always Sunny in Philadelphia's.
哥们,他们是同一个人 Bud, they're the same guy.
你觉得世界上有几个一米四五的演员 How many 145-centimeter actors do you think there are?
他们就是同一个人,丹尼·德维托 They're both Danny DeVito!
不是,丹尼·德维托的[计程车]都什么年代的事了 No, Danny DeVito Taxi long time ago.
但是阳光灿烂的制作人 But this producer from Always Sunnys,
那么喜欢他 they like him so much,
给他放进了剧里 they put him it into the show, eh.
但是这不代表,不是一个人啊,兄弟 That doesn't mean they can't be the same guy, bud.
同一个人,不同的时期 That's one guy. It's a different era.
他可以在三十年出现在两个剧里 He can do two shows in fucking 30 years.
我们还要因为这个事杠几次 How many times do we have to go over this?
这他妈明明是同一个人 It's the same fucking guy!
他说的没错,哥们,他俩是一个人 He is right, you know. It is the same guy.
丹尼·德维托在[计程车]里 Danny DeVito was in Taxis
但他也在[费城永远阳光灿烂]里 but he is also in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's.
宝宝知道,我就是逗逗他 I know. I make joke on him.
他以为我不知道,但是宝宝心里明白着呢 He think I don't know but I know, eh.
你知道我最喜欢的超级反派是啥么 You know who is my favorite, uh, superhero villain?
蝙蝠侠里的企鹅人 Is the Penguin from Batman film, eh.
那就是丹尼·德维托,兄弟 That's fuckin' Danny DeVito, bud.
搞搞清楚行不行 Get a fucking clue!
你刚刚说的就是丹尼·德维托 That's Danny DeVito you just said!
你敢相信吗? Can you believe this fuckin' guy doesn't know
这个蠢货连谁是丹尼·德维托都不知道 who Danny DeVito is?
你说谁,唱歌的吗? Who you mean? The singer?
不是,是他妈的那个演员,丹尼·德维托 No, the fuckin' actor! Danny DeVito.
和雷亚·普尔曼他妈的结婚的那个 The guy who's married to Rhea Perlman!
我觉得他在[地狱男爵]里演的挺好 Oh, I like him in Hellboy.
那是朗·普尔曼 That's Ron Perlman!
不重要,阿甘博,冰球又开始了 Doesn't matter. Archambault! Hockey is back on!
你们他妈的都有什么毛病 What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
你们俩都有病,像从外星来的似的 Both of you. You're fucki'' from another planet.
简直不能相信我们生活在一个国家 I can't believe we live in the same country.
那个该死的电话 Oh, the fucking phone
居然敢在他妈的加拿大冰球之夜响 is ringing during hockey night in Canada!
谁他妈的在加拿大冰球之夜打他妈的电话 Who is calling during hockey night in Canada?!
谁他妈的还一直不挂断 Who the fuck even has a hard line anymore?
阿甘博,把那个该死的电话从墙上扯下来 Archambault, rip the fuckin' phone out of the wall!
接下来还要干嘛 What's next? You're gonna have someone
赛点再接个该死的披萨外卖吗? deliver a pizza during the fuckin' overtime?!
什么他妈的情况 What the fuck?
你知道,我最喜欢的另一个人 You know, the other guy I like,
就是在[谋害老妈]里 is the one giving Billy Crystal
给比利·克里斯托找麻烦的那个 the problem in Throw Momma and the Trains.
你妈的 Holy merde.
给他拿下 Get him!
干得漂亮兄弟们 Great fight, guys!
ADH4神枪手电牛棒,你值得拥有 Pennyworth ADH4 SureShot Cattle Prod.
每个警卫站都应该有一个 Every station needs one.
我喘不上气了 I can't breathe.
我们知道就是你们几个,我们能看见你们的胡子 We know it's you guys. We can see your mustaches.
你们不能这样把我们放在这 Come on, you can't leave us out here.
我们离树林至少有一百公里 We are at least 100 kilometres in the woods!
可能还更远 Maybe more, huh?
啊,捂住了,这边有蚊子 Ah, tabernacle. Here come the mosquito.
我们有24小时 We got 24 hours
给这些蠢货破点脏水 to desecrate the good names of these dickfucks.
浪起来 Let's do it!
浪起来 Let's do it.
驾照和登记表 License and registration, eh!
给 Here you go.
队长,来一下队长 Captain, come in, Captain.
- 警官 - 队长,进来 - Officer - Captain, come in.
警官,给你 Officer, here you go.
你听见了吗? 队长 Are you hearing anything, Captain?
你不觉得你们警官 You think maybe your buddy is getting
有点上岁数了吗? 我是说,耳背 a little old for this? I mean, a deaf cop?
谁说的,嗯 Who said that, eh?
哦,先生,你鼻子真挺 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king.
等一会儿,我给你们开个罚单 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book.
呀,你们好哇 Ya! Hey there.
- 驾照和登记表 - 好吧 - License and registration - All right.
快行动,驾照和登记表 Let's go! License and registration, eh!
什么这么好玩 What's so funny@@
马特·托蒙先生 @@Mr. Matt Tomon?
你觉得,我把蛋蛋落在拖拉机里了 You think it's funny that
这个好笑吗? I lost my balls in a tractor pull?
等一下,你们俩蛋蛋都被割了吗? Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off
在拖拉机里 in a tractor pull?
我把我的在自行车急刹的时候弄坏了 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle.
你知道我当时车骑得有多快吗? You know how fast that will stop a bicycle?
喂,警官 Hey, Officer!
- 嘿,你趴我车上了 - 啥 - Hey, you're on my wagon - What?
喂,醒醒,醒醒 Come on! Wake up! Wake up!
驾照和登记表 License and registration, hey?
等我一下下 'Scuse me one second, eh.
你这婊子 You bitch!
- 回来你们 - 哇哦 - Get back here, you! - Ow! Ow!
- 你好 - 嗨 - Hey, there - Hi.
驾照登记表 License and registration.
你们不是拦过我的那两位吗? Aren't you the two that pulled me over before?
你说什么 Beg your pardon?
你们怎么变成骑警了,还是我应该说喵警官 How are you Mounties now? Or should I say Meow-nties?
说啥呢 Say what now?
几年前,你把我拦下了 Few years ago, you pulled me over
你玩过那个,说喵的游戏 and you played some game where you said "Meow"
哥们,这几年来 Buddy, I've said a thousand stupid things
我对别人说过上句蠢话 to people over the years.
你问过我,看没看过你活泼又可爱的 You asked if I saw you jumping around
从一棵树跳到另一个树上 all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?
我跟你保证我这辈子从来没说过这种 I can assure you I've never said the words
什么"活泼又可爱" "Nimbly-bimbly" In my life.
- 你这个蠢货 - 你这个婊子 - You fucker! - Oh, you bitch!
那个见鬼的车哪去了 Where's the gosh darn cruiser?
兄弟,你搭档马上就要被撞了 Dude, your partner is about to get mucked!
你要去哪,先生,不许动 Where you going, mister? Freeze!
哦,哇哦 Ow. Ow!
哥们 Bro!
等一下,你真的不记得这个家伙了吗? Hang on. Do you really not remember this guy
还是你跟他闹着玩呢 or you just fuckin' with him?
真的,我一点都不知道他是谁 Yeah, I have no idea who he is.
你知道我能听见吗? You know I heard everything you said.
混蛋,我们都那么干了好几年了 Son of a bitch. We've been doing that for years.
没事,你要给我罚单了还是 Forget it. Am I getting a ticket here, or@@
你知道吗? 我要搞清楚这个问题 You know what? I want to get my head around this
因为这事能把我逼疯 'cause now it's driving me crazy.
这么的,我们换一下,你扮我,我当你 Let's do this. We'll switch. You'll be me, I'll be you
你演一下当时发生了什么 and then you'll do the routine.
什么,好吧 What? All right.
你没问题的,没问题 Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it.
驾照和登记表,喵,来,喵 License and registration meow. Come on, meow.
嘿,现在我记起来了 Hey! Now I remember it!
- 我记得了 - 你记起来了 - I remember it now - You remember that.
与此同时,永远不要把车钥匙给一个陌生人 In the meanwhile, never give your car keys to a stranger.
怎么了 Why is that?
再回,蠢货 See you, sucker!
我知道一直都是你,混蛋 I knew it was you the whole time, asshole!
这都发生了什么,哼 What the hell's going on here? Huh?
好像有人在吸大麻 Looks like someone's smoking the reefer joints.
不,那不是大麻 No, that's not marijuana.
那我们来看看 We'll see about that.
法尔瓦,这不是个好主意 Farva, that's not a good idea!
他妈@@ What's the@@
真的发生这种事了 Okay, this is happening.
抱歉 Sorry.
我们从美国来 We're from America.
我们不说法语 We don't speak French.
哦 Oh.
你们俩都不说英语吗? Do neither of you speak English?
- 我说 - 哦 - I do - Oh.
嗯@@ Em@@
你的纸 Your papers.
我们想吃一下你的纸 We would like to eat your papers.
能给我看一下你的党文吗? Can you show me your party papers?
- 你们想看我们的党文 - 党文 - You want to see our party papers? - Party papers?
好,活着,鱼汤 Bon vivant bouillabaisse,
死胡同,池塘,鸡,蓝带 cul de sac, les serve chicken cordon bleu.
了不起的,红棒棒 Formidable Baton Rouge.
没有胆量还是火焰,好面包,马尔蒙酒店 No bles or blis, o bon pain Château Marmont?
- 奶酪火腿三明治 - 奶酪火腿三明治加蛋 - Croque monsieur? - Croque madame!
不 Non!
太傻了 Est stupid!
詹姆斯弟兄,灰玩具,萨德侯爵 Frère Jacques, Grey Poupon, Marquis de Sade,
呐喊炮塔 tourette whoop!
鸡毛掸子,牛角面包,悲惨世界 Feather duster, croissant, Les Miserables,
屁捕手,卢克罗宾汉,阿尔塔尼昂 fart catcher, Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan,
皮埃尔,弗兰塔肯臀,完美花生酱 Perrier, Fran Tarkenton, peanut butter parfait.
淡香水 Eau de toilette!
警官,不好意思 Officers? I'm sorry.
你们,你们很明显是@@ You're, you're obviously in@@
不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no.
我必须为我和我搭档道歉 I must apologize, uh, for me and my partner.
我们不应该打架 We should not fight.
吵架是不会通往更好的生活的 To argue is no way to go through the life.
没错 I know.
- 你知道生活的关键是什么吗? - 是什么 - Do you know the key to life? - What's that?
生活的关键是一个@@ The key to life is a@@
鸡鸡在你屁眼里 a penis in your asshole.
先生,请你再说一遍 I beg your pardon, sir!
我觉得你肯定说错了什么 I think you must be saying that wrong!
不不不,人生的关键就是鸡鸡在你屁眼里 No, no, no. The key to life is a penis in your asshole.
我觉得你想说的不是这个 I don't think you're saying what you mean to say.
是的,就是这样 Oui! Oui! Oui!
鸡鸡 A penis. A penis.
你懂得,呃,就是那个,开心起来,笑起来 You know, eh, eh, to smile. To be happy.
噢 Oh!
快乐 "Happiness!"
亲爱的,那是 Honey! It's@@
好吧 Okay.
在你的屁眼里 In your asshole.
呃 That's@@
你的屁眼,就是那个,你住的地方 Your asshole. Eh, where you live.
你的公寓,你的住所呀 Your apartment, your domicile.
你的房子 Your house.
- "家" - 啊,我懂了 - "Household!" - Ah!
生活的关键在于家庭的美满 "The key to life is happiness in your household!"
对,生活的关键在于鸡鸡在你屁眼里 Oui, the key to life is "A penis in your asshole"!
- 喔 - 我也是想这么和她说的 - Oh! - I'm trying to tell her that.
你觉得我说了啥 What you think I say?
天哪,我还是不太想说出来 Oh, I don't even want to tell you.
他们可能会觉得很好笑 Maybe they'll get a kick out of it.
我们以为你说 We thought that you said,
生活的关键是一个鸡鸡在你的屁眼里 that the key to life is a penis in your asshole.
该死的 Sacrebleu, non!
你们美国人觉得每个人都想上你们 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you!
根本没人这么想 No one want to fuck you!
放狗屁 Merde!
这是你的单子 Here is your party papers!
我还以为加拿大人很友好呢 I thought Canadians were nice.
喂,喂,等等我 Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay.
我刚刚在想,我们说不定可以 I was thinking we could do like
做一个像"谁在一垒"那种的套衫 a "Who's on First?" Pullover.
"拉比特和福斯特",你懂得,老旧喜剧段子 "Rabbit and Fostello" You know, old-time comedy.
- 很棒 - 噢 - Love it - Ooh.
- 他们怎么这么快回来 - 该死的 - How are they back so quick? - Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
- 我日 - 快快快 - Shit! - Go, go, go, go!
这些狗娘养的傻逼在这里 There are these son-of-a-bitch guys, eh!
我今天就要打死你们 Stomp you a new mudhole!
噢噢,哇哦 Whoa, whoa!
你们怎么了这是 What the hell happened to you guys?
他们把我们扔在树林里了 They dump us in the woods!
什么鬼啊,我们为什么要那样做,我们可是警察 What?! Why would we do that? We're the police.
太糟了吧,我爸每年夏天 Too bad for you my dad dropped me in the woods
- 都把我裸体地扔到树林里去 - 啊 - naked every summer! - Hah?
噢,听起来很惨 Oh, sounds too bad for you.
你知道你做了什么,看看我们 Come on. You know you do this. Look at us.
我们全被涂的乱七八糟 We are paint all red, white and blue.
那些难道不是法国国旗的颜色吗? Aren't those the colors of the French flag?
哦,对啊对啊你说得对,法国国旗的颜色 Oh, the color the French flag.
可能做这事的傻逼是个英国人 Perhaps the guys who did this were British.
也可能是哥斯达黎加人 Could've been Costa Rican.
谁想吃卷饼啊 Who wants breakfast burritos?
快把那个脱掉不然我就打死你 Take that off or I'll kill you.
现在我们要用加拿大人的方式解决这事 Let's settle this the Canadian way!
你现在是在美国 You're in America now!
嘿,你们在干嘛 Hey! What's going on here?
蒂姆·霍斯顿的幽灵 Great Tim Horton's ghost!
首先,我接到一个电话 First, I get a call that the Mounties
说骑警在高速上捣乱 are out farting sideways on the highways.
然后我又接到电话让我们到这里来 Then I get a call to come down here.
噢,不是我们干的 Oh, it wasn't us!
这些傻逼,绑架了我们 These fucking guys, they kidnap us
然后把我们扔在树林里让我们自生自灭 and they leave us in the woods to die.
没错,然后他们还偷走了我们的三件制服 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh.
这些人放了一头真正的熊在我们站台里,一头真正的熊啊,大熊 These guys put a bear in our station! A real bear. Big bear!
你一点证据也没有 You don't have any proof of that.
一头真的熊吗? A real bear?
可能是吧,或者他们需要点颜色看看 Maybe. And maybe they deserve a bear!
没人需要熊 Nobody deserves a bear!
我要丢一只熊给你 I give a bear to you!
我们当时有可能被吃掉你知道吗? We could have been eaten!
你在笑什么 Why you laughing, Guy?
你们想的都是错的 Fellas, you are thinking about this all wrong, eh?
这些人吗? 他们是假的警察 These guys? They impersonated officers.
根本不存在他们想保住自己的工作之类的 There is no way they're holding onto their jobs.
我会为你做的更好的 And I'll do you one better.
等我和我的朋友贾斯汀·特鲁多谈完之后 When I get done talking to my good friend Justin Trudeau@@
呃,就是那个首相 Eh, the Prime Minister!
我保证这件事 I bet you this whole turnover thing
马上就会被解决 goes right out the window.
哼 Boom!
所以咧,打开你们的包,把那些电缆线解开 So, boys, unpack your bags. Revive those cable bundles.
因为你们哪也不许去 'Cause you are not going anywhere.
我的意思是我们要庆祝一下,早餐想吃什么 I say we celebrate. What are we having for breakfast?
- 煎饼 - 煎饼,是吗? - Pancake - Pancake, yeah?
好的,麦片和葡萄干 All right. Oatmeal and raisins it is.
- 别啊 - 开玩笑的,我们就吃煎饼 - Oh - Kidding. It's pancakes.
太好了,煎饼,放两个鸡蛋怎么样 Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs side by each, eh?
我不想吃这个麦片 I don't want this oatmeal.
你可以把葡萄干放在煎饼里 Maybe you put the raisins inside the pancake.
日内维奥,等一下 Genevieve, wait.
你自找的 You brought this on yourselves.
他们把一只熊@@ They put a bear@@
这真是太糟了 This is bad, fellas.
糟的没话说了 This is "Fred Savage Ridin'-Along Incident" Bad.
你把刚刚说的告诉弗莱德·萨维奇 Tell that to Fred Savage.
好吧不管怎么说,不要浪费做好的早餐 Well, no sense in having good breakfast go to waste.
- 我没胃口了 - 啊,真抱歉 - I've lost my appetite - I'm sorry, man.
我只是不太饿 I'm just not hungry.
你想为人们做点好事 You try to do something nice for people,
然后它就,就 and then it just, I just, you know.
有什么用呢 What's the point?
不要再和个娘们儿似的了 Stop taking female hormones!
我们可以进去吗? 队长 Can we please come in, Cap?
他已经缠了我很多年了 He's taking years off my life.
就是一些惨淡的时日罢了,孩子 Just the bad years, kid.
队长,我是认真的,我马上就要像小枝芽一样被折断了 I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig.
这边的事情还是有一定危险的,最好不要让法尔瓦掺和进来 Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep Farva away.
等这边安全了我们会通知你的 We'll let you know when the coast is clear.
你有听说过新卡内吗? Have you heard the new Kanye?
他真的是个很厉害的歌手 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer.
这真的太好听了,就像重返马路了一样 This is great. It's like being on the road again.
我喜欢上路的时候嚼薄荷味口香糖 I like to chew mint gum when I'm on the road.
听音乐的时候我喜欢水果味地 When I'm radio, it's fruit.
你懂吧,就是果汁很多的那种,像八宝丽仕口香糖和大大泡泡糖 You know, like Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba.
反正就是果汁多的 Anything fruity.
但是在马路上是我喜欢薄荷味的 On the road, I like mint, though.
薄荷,薄薄薄,薄荷 Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint.
还有山毛榉坚果,你吃过那个吗? And Beech-Nut, have you tried that?
他们应该叫他山毛榉纳特 They should call it "Beech-Not!"
我去,我要把它写下来 Oh, shit, I'm gonna write that down.
你喜欢嚼哪种口香糖啊 What kind of gum do you chew?
他们应该做一种黑色的薄荷糖 They should make a black mint gum.
那样应该很好 That would be choice.
应该叫他薄荷黑口香糖 They could call it "Minty Black".
没错,这个我也要写下来 Yeah, I'm gonna write that down too.
- 根本没人会买那种东西 - 什么 - No one would buy that - What?
没人会买那种傻逼口香糖 No one would buy that stupid gum.
胡说八道 Bullshit.
他们肯定会买的如果把它放在朋友网上 They'd buy it if it was on Friends.
比如说罗斯和雷切尔嚼过的话 Like if Ross or Rachel chewed it,
肯定会卖的很好 it'd sell like hotcakes.
你是神经病吧 Are you a mutant?
跟我下车 You follow me out here
在我撒尿的时候就跟我说这个 while I'm pissing just to tell me this shit?
还瞥我老二 Quit looking at my dick.
我没看啊,你撒尿怎么了 I'm not looking at your dick. We're taking a piss.
- 对啊,我撒尿啊 - 我可以呆这里吧 - So, piss - I don't have to go.
我要操那个加拿大人 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon!
罗德,罗德 Rod! Rod!
- 没错 - 法尔瓦 - Yeah! - Farva!
法尔瓦 Farva!
为什么傻成这样 Dumb fuck.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
谁会把安全气囊打开 Who pops an airbag?
天哪,你这是有一吨吧 God. You weigh a ton.
你不是在和我开玩笑吧,别死在我身上了,法尔瓦 You gotta be shitting me. Don't die on me, Farva.
好吧,我相信你可以的 Okay. You can do it.
我操 Oh! Fuck!
从下面看 From upside down,
你的胡子看起来像一个毛毛的笑脸 your mustache looks like a big hairy smile.
你干嘛戳我啊 Why would you give me the Shocker?
这是我表达感谢你救了我命的方式 My way of saying, "Thanks, honey. You saved my life"
我本来死了,去了趟天堂 I was dead. I went to Heaven.
你竟然也在那里 And you were there.
- 你知道你这是在玩火吗? - 什么鬼 - You know what you were doing? - What?
你是不是想和我亲热一下,亲爱的,我来了 Trying to make out with me, sweetheart! I'm on to you.
过来啊,再亲两口 Come here. Give me some more of that.
那个是什么东西 What the hell is that?
嘿,拉维恩 Well, hello, Laverne!
看起来好像和那些东西一样 Looks like the same stuff.
没错,但是多多了 Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it.
我的妈诶 Holy Hindu holidays.
又多了个新家伙 There's a new guest at the party.
AK- 47s AK-47s.
嗨 Hey.
不不不,拉比特,我不想再听到那些东西了 Oh, no, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit.
日内维奥,可以让我解释一下吗? Genevieve, could I just explain?
没什么好解释的 There is nothing to explain.
他们在我们那放了几只大熊 They put bears in our station.
这是加拿大 This is Canada!
熊到处都是 There are bears everywhere.
晚上还有很多熊 There are bears that go through
翻我的垃圾堆 my garbage every night.
我的熊麦片里也有个熊出现 I have cereal with bears in it: Bearios.
加拿大最流行的早餐品牌 Canada's most popular breakfast.
有人说了熊麦片吗? Someone say "Bearios"?
嘿,维奥,要不要来点 Hey there, Genny. Wanna grab some eats?
不用了谢谢 No, thanks.
你说考虑一下的话我会更高兴 Turn that into a maybe and I'll have your baby.
是朗尼·拉鲁什吗? Lonnie Laloush?
老哥,那是我名字,不要一直重复好吗? That's mon nom. Don't wear it out, eh?
要点热咖啡吗? 我给你倒点 You want a hot coffee? I'm pouring.
好的,麻烦你了 Oui, s'il te plait.
他看起来像个混蛋,对吗? Seems like a real "Dickwa-duh", huh?
我和每个人都说你很棒 I told everyone how wonderful you all are.
但是,你并不是,你心眼太坏了 Well, you're not. You have bad hearts.
谁想要一点酸奶油吗? Who wants creme fraiche?
没人吗? Nobody?
好吧,不要酸奶油 Okay, no creme fraiche!
- 请你走吧 - 日内维奥 - Please just go - Genevieve@@
快走吧 Just go.
他们其实是AK- 48s,在美国是非法持有的 They're actually AK-48s. Illegal in the U.S.
为什么是48 Why 48?
因为它们可以多存一发子弹 Because they hold one extra bullet.
对啊,你不会想到的 Yeah, sure. You never know
说不定什么时候你就差那一发 when you're gonna need just one more.
这个上面写的是老虎大屌 This one says "Tiger Penis".
含住 Suck it!
你可闭嘴吧,法尔瓦 Shut up, Farva.
中国人好像吃这个东西让它变硬 The Chinese use it to get hard-ons.
我用过一次 I tried to get it once.
美国是买不到的 You can't buy it in the United States.
喂,你胡子怎么了 Dude, what's up with your mustache?
没什么啊 Nothing.
- 你戴的是假胡子吗? - 不是的 - Are you wearing a mustache wig? - No!
这是个假发,好吧,我掉了一些毛发 It's a postiche, okay? I'm having a little hair loss.
别担心 Don't worry about it.
管好你自己的胡子吧 Worry about your own goddamn mustache.
混蛋 Fuckin' asshole.
嘿,迈克跟你们讲了我们的小故事了吗? Hey, Mac tell you guys about our little moment?
你讲了没,芝士通心粉 Did you, Mac and Cheese?
你跟我们讲了,法尔瓦,我不想再听一遍了 You told us, Farva. I don't want to hear it again.
我是你的芝士哦 I'm the Cheese.
好了,听着,伙计们 All right, look, guys.
我知道我们现在处境不佳 I know we're in some serious shit here,
但如果我们能破掉这个案子 but if we can crack this case,
我们可能就能在这件事上 we might just be able to get
比那些加拿大骑警更占理一些 beyond this whole Mountie thing.
我们也没做错什么啊 We didn't do anything.
福斯特,我们绑架并伪装成了一群 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated
有国家主权的警官 officers of a sovereign nation.
好吧 Right.
古巴雪茄,加拿大毒品,伪造手机 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones,
AK- 48s和虎根伟哥 AK-48s and Tiger Penis.
这些东西有什么共同之处 What's the link?
这些东西在美国都比它们在 All this stuff is more valuable in the U.S.
加拿大要更贵 than in Canada.
所以,这是一桩走私案 So, it's a smuggling operation.
有人想要把这些东西运过边境 Someone's trying to move this shit over the border.
不,并不是 No, they're not.
仔细想想 Think about it.
这些东西现在就乖乖地呆在加拿大领土,对,没错 This stuff is just sitting on Canadian land. Yeah. Okay.
但当加拿大领土变成 But what happens when this Canadian land
美国国土了之后呢 becomes American land?
根本不需要运任何东西,这些东西就到美国了 No need to move it at all. It's already on U.S. Soil.
是的 Exactly, huh?
被动走私,赶上我一样聪明了 Passive smuggling. It's my kind of crime.
所以,他们必须把这些东西都藏在边境附近 So, they must have this shit stashed all along the border.
错是没错,但他们是谁 Yeah. But who is "They"?
他们是谁们 Who "Are" They.
嘿,听着,我之前就这么说过 Hey, look, I said this earlier
但你们都不信还嘲笑我 and you guys laughed at me.
但我觉得就是加拿大骑警们,他们一个个都是烂人,不是吗? But I think it's the Mounties. They are shit people. Okay?
而且他们吸古巴雪茄,我们都见过的 And they smoke Cubans cigars. We've seen that.
他们马上就要被调到鬼知道是哪的地方 They're getting transferred to God knows where.
他们还有什么可损失的呢 I mean, what do they have to lose?
我开始同意我们的神探福斯特了 I am starting to agree with Sherlock McSerpico over here.
呜 Ooh!
我跟你们讲,伙计们 I'm telling you, fellas.
以我的经验,坏人永远都是当地警察们 [超级骑警1中的反派是当地警察] In my experience, it's always the local cops.
要是我能干掉那只鸟,你们给我些啥 What would you guys give me if I kill that bird?
法尔瓦,那是只秃鹰 Farva, that's a Bald Eagle!
搞个假发戴吧,死秃子 Get a wig, baldy!
耶 Yeah!
把那该死的枪放下 Put the goddamn gun down.
啥 What?
哦,我赢啦,伙计们,我的奖品是啥 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win?
一张通往地狱的单程票 [在北美屠杀秃鹰是违法的] A one-way ticket to hell.
这个餐厅比诡计餐厅差远了 [诡计餐厅为超级骑警1中法尔瓦喜欢的一家餐厅] This place wishes it was Shenanigans.
欢迎光临奸计餐厅 Welcome to Chicanery's, eh!
需要一个包间吗? Can I get you a booth?
呃,不用了,我们是来找人的 Uh, no. We're meeting somebody here.
哦,那,他就在那 Oh, yeah, there he is.
队长 Cap!
老大,我们在四处找你 Chief, we've been looking all over for you.
队长,队长,队长,我们好像发现了什么 Cap, Cap, Cap, I think we've figured it out!
老大,我们好像破案了 Chief. I think we cracked the thing.
你们干啥,你们干啥 What are you doing? What are you doing?
我等了一个小时才等到 I've been waiting here for an hour.
我觉得你应该会想知道的 I think you're gonna want to know this.
- 轮到我唱歌了现在 - 我知道,但听着,我觉得我们@@ - This is my song - I know, but listen, I think we@@
- 看不见我在唱歌吗? 给我坐下 - 不,不,不 - I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down - No, no, no.
我在唱歌 I'm singing here.
我在唱歌,都给我坐下 I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down!
你们要点些什么 What can I get for you guys?
冰镇啤酒,一升可乐 Maybe a cold beer? Liter of cola?
你说啥 What did you say?
你要不要点一升可乐 Do you want a liter of cola?
你们卖一升装的可乐 [超级骑警1中法尔瓦曾因快餐店不卖一升装的可乐和点餐员打了一架] You have that here?
有啊,我们还有一个活动叫十升不过岗 Yeah, we got the Decaliter Delight.
我们给你一张打卡卡片,你喝够十升可乐 You get a punch card, you rack up ten liters of cola,
我们免费送你一份甜点 get yourself a free dessert.
拿上来吧,拿上来吧,麻利儿的 Bring them all. Bring them all right now.
把十升都一块拿上来吧,还有那个卡片 Bring all ten liters and the punch card.
现在就都上 I want it all right now.
来啊 Come on.
加拿大真炫酷 Canada's pretty awesome.
- 卟卟 - 呃,别这样 - Boop boop - Uh, don't do that.
- 卟哔卟卟哔 - 滚开 - Boop beep boo boop beep - Cut the crap.
日内维奥 Genevieve?
我今天对你话说得太狠了 I feel terrible about what I said to you.
我知道我有点小题大做 I know I overreacted.
只是这个小镇对于易主的事真的很生气 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover.
没事 Sure.
不管怎么说,你不是一个坏人 Anyway, you are not a bad person.
即便你是个美国人 Even if you are American.
其实我也又在为你改变这点 Well, I've actually been working on that for you.
- 为我 - 是的 - For me? - Yeah.
驼鹿头,加拿大啤酒 Moosehead. Canadian beer.
辣椒海狸,加拿大食物 Beaver,chili.,Tr猫s,Canadien.
我还有在练习我的法语 And I've been working on my French too.
哦,我爱这首歌 Oh, I love this song!
哦,他让我情不自禁回忆起夏日的豌豆汤 Oh, it reminds me of summers on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois.
哇哦,唱的很不错哦 Wow! That's very good.
哦,我可不会这么夸自己 Oh, I wouldn't say that, but,
我其实都不知道这首歌讲的什么 I don't even know what it means.
这是一首关于纳粹占领德国的悲情歌曲 It's a sad song about the Nazi Occupation of France.
哦 Oh.
对不起,我@@ I'm sorry. I@@
不,不,不 No. No, no.
它讲述了一对恋人 It's about two lovers
身陷一场两人都不愿看到战争之中 trapped in a war that neither wanted,
去仍然深爱着对方的故事 but they love each other anyway.
哦 Oh.
现在听起来好多了 So much better.
- 真的要这样吗? - 哦是的 - Is this really happening? - Oh, yes.
就喜欢这样 I love it.
等,等,等 Wait, wait, wait.
- 哪个是那个胖子的桌子 - 就这个 - Where is the fat one's desk? - Right there.
好的 Okay.
你不知道他叫什么 You don't know his name?
弗拉乌拉 Flarvla.
听起来是个不错的新外号 I smell a new nickname.
我们可能要快点 Guess we hurry.
被动走私,有一手啊 Passive smuggling? It's brilliant.
而且肯定是那帮加拿大骑警 And it's gotta be the Mounties.
为什么 Why?
因为坏人永远都是当地警察啊 'Cause it's always the local cops.
你的打卡卡片 Here's your punch card.
五,六,七,八 Five, six, seven, eight.
九升,这是第十杯了 Number nine. This is ten.
严格意义上讲,你必须把十升全部喝完我们才会上甜点 Technically, you have to drink all ten to get the dessert.
哦,看来你是不服了 Oh, you challenging me?
我三秒就能喝完这杯 This will be gone in three seconds.
圣诞黄油蛋挞我要定了 I'll have the butter tart yule log.
来吧,麻利儿的 Come on. Chop-chop!
就给他吧,兄弟 Just do it, dude.
加拿大万岁 Canada!
对我们的有利情况是 And the beauty is,
在这片土地正式划分为美国领土之前 there's nothing they can do with all that contraband,
他们对这些赃物无可奈何 until this land becomes America.
所以我们要做的就是延迟领土易主 So all we have to do is push back the turnover,
知道我们把剩下的所有赃物都搜捕到 until we can find the rest of the stuff.
但是,你也听到勒弗朗克说的了 Well, you heard LeFranc.
鬼知道这片领土什么时候易主啊 Who knows what's gonna happen with the turnover?
无论什么时候,我们都必须破掉这个案子 Whatever happens, we gotta solve this case. Now.
我们再去仔细看看那些赃物 Let's take another look at that contraband.
没准错过了什么 We may have missed something.
等一下,我的甜点还没上呢 Hold on! I didn't get my free dessert.
走,法尔瓦 Move it, Farva!
喂,那可是个圣诞黄油蛋挞啊 Come on! It's a fucki'' butter tart yule log!
我们走,麻利儿的 Let's go! Now!
该死 Damn it.
哦,喔,看路,老哥 Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal.
再走快点,金手指 Walk faster, finger blaster.
日了狗@@拉比特 Son of a@@ Rabbit!
喔 Whoa!
喔,赃物不见了 Whoa! The booty's gone!
他们把春药都拿走了吗? Did they take the Flova Scotia?
还有拉比特 In addition to Rabbit!
先别急,拉比特的车 Hold your bones. Rabbit's car.
行车记录仪,快看 The dash cam! Look at this.
哦,你这个小机灵鬼 Ooh, you clever little prick, you.
鬼,你们为什么总是骂我 Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns!
那是夸你呢,笨蛋 It's a compliment, shithead.
干你哦,死矮子 Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds.
- 嗯 - 嗯嗯 - Mm - Mm-mm.
哦,瞧这一对 Oh,,a,little,m茅nage,脿,two.
嗯 Mm.
- 啊 - 对了,兄弟 - Ah - Yeah, partner.
你们赶紧她选了福斯特没选喔 Can you believe she picked Donnie Osmond over me?
- 信啊 - 我是说,没人觉得震惊吗? - Yes - I mean, is anyone else shocked here?
- 没啊 - 还是在我的桌子上 - No - And on my desk?
闭嘴,法尔瓦,这不是开玩笑的时候 Shut up, Farva. This is serious.
- 喔 - 什么鬼 - Whoa! - What the fuck?
我们现在该怎么找到他们 Now how are we gonna find them?
那些爱疯手机的号码都一样 All those iPhones had the same number.
现在,要是我们有一个三角测量仪 Now, if we only had a triangulator,
我们就能定位他们了 we could locate them.
啊哈,听见了没,你们这群混蛋 Aha! Take that, you bastards.
这里就是那些手机了 Those are the phones right there.
放大 Enhance.
好吧,但这是哪啊 All right, but what is this place?
放大 Enhance.
- 放大 - 好,好 - Enhance - Okay, okay.
"Sciere,de,la,Vache" "Sciere de la Vache"
好吧,你们会说法语,这什么意思 All right, you guys speak French, what does that mean?
我不知道sciere是什么意思 I don't know what sciere means
还有Vache的意思我也不知道 and I also don't know what vache means.
也就是说你啥都不知道咯 So you really don't understand anything?
Sciere,de,la,Vache Sciere de la Vache?
我觉得应该是"恐怖花瓶" I believe it's "The Scary Vase".
来,来,让我们想想,sciere是甲虫 Yeah, yeah. Let's see, sciere is "Beetle".
- 甲虫花瓶,不,对 - 对,对,对,对 - Beetle vase. No. Yes - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
但是vache是生气,生气的甲虫 But la vache is "Angry". "Angry Beetle"
- 对了 - 对,生气的甲虫,我们觉得是 - Okay - Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think.
那是"奶牛的锯木厂",你们一群蠢货 It's "The Sawmill of the Cow", you idiots!
那是个锯木厂 It's a sawmill!
- 为什么是"奶牛的锯木厂",不 - 说不通的啊 - Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No - It doesn't make any sense.
我们走 Let's go and give those Canuckleheads
去给那些混球们 a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue,
一些复古的三色旗颜色看看 fist-fucking!
耶,我们走 Yeah! Let's do it!
枪,枪,枪 Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!
喔 Whoa!
该死 Shit.
嘿,靠边停,我要尿尿 Hey, pull over. I gotta take a pee-ahs.
不该喝那么多饮料的 Shouldn't have drank all that soda.
你知道吗? 我突然想起来 You know, it just now occurred to me,
咋俩好像从来没有独处过 you and I have never been alone together before.
是的,感谢上帝 Yeah, thank God.
讲真,我们有一对一地说过话吗? Seriously. Have we ever had a one-on-one conversation?
我为什么要跟你一对一地说话,你一看就很无聊 Why would we? You seem like a pretty boring dude.
你还跟那个金发警察搞在一起吗? 还是@@ You still banging that blonde cop, or@@
他们要他妈去哪 Where the hell are they going?
刚才那应该拐的,后面那 That was the turn, back there.
你确定吗? 我不觉得啊 Are you sure? I don't think so.
你是不是已经找不着北了 Have you completely lost your sense of direction?
你这样对我大喊大叫有什么用 Well, your yelling at me certainly doesn't help!
队长没错,桑尼,要在那儿转弯 Cap's right, Thorn. That was the turn.
闭嘴吧,完美先生 Shut up, Mr. Perfect.
咳 Whoa!
我看到了 I saw that!
女性春药藏哪儿了 Where are those female sex pills?
队长 Cap!
给我,把它们给我 Give them me! Give them me!
谢谢你了 Thank you.
没看到拉比特 No sign of Rabbit.
但有两辆加拿大骑警汽车 But I got two Mountie cars@@
还有我们的走私货 and our contraband.
法尔瓦滚哪儿去了 Where the hell's Farva?
啊哈,被我逮个正着 Ah. I got him.
他这是自带水热爆炸属性啊 He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion.
想不想看放屁造影术 You want to see some fartography?
我会回来 I'm still gonna go back
搞定这些奶油塔圣诞柴 and get that butter tart yule log.
行了,小伙子们,去挤奶了 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow.
上次我搬过这玩意 I moved this stuff the last time.
我也不想动它 I don't want to lift it either.
你什么都不用搬 You don't move anything.
不劳你动手,不用搬盒子 You don't move your body, you don't move boxes.
一,二,三,走起 One, two, three, go!
都不要动,你们被捕了 Alright freeze! You're under arrest!
屁话,你才被捕了 Bullshit, eh! You're under arrest!
放屁,你们这群天杀的走私犯 Bullshit, you fucking smugglers!
我们不是走私犯,你们才他妈是吧 We're not the smugglers! You're the fucking smugglers.
我们不是他妈的走私犯 We're not the fucking smugglers!
你们是他妈的走私犯 You're the fucking smugglers!
嘿,嘿,嘿,嘿,嘿 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
所有人,放下枪 Everyone, lower your weapons!
好像哪里不对劲 Something's not right.
停,停,停,姜还是老的辣 Wait, wait, wait. The old-timey one is right.
事情不对劲 Something doesn't add up here.
- 哦,妈的 - 妈的,你们这群天杀的走私犯 - Oh, shit! - Die, you fucking smuggler!
法尔瓦,你这蠢货 Farva, you idiot!
放下枪,放下枪 Put the gun down! Put the gun down!
去你的,去你的 Fuck you. Fuck you.
他妈的把枪放下 Put down the fuckin' gun!
放下枪,我不想开枪 Drop the gun, I don't want to shoot!
他妈的加拿大人 You fuckin' Canadians!
冷静 Cool.
你们犯什么浑 What the fuck are you guys doing?
出场很及时,是吧 Apropos, right?
上,互杀 Go on, kill each other.
"先斩后奏"的礼节呢 What ever happened to "Shoot first and ask questions later"?
额,搞什么,伙计们 Uh, what the shit, Guy?
你为什么说他们是走私犯,哈 Why you tell us these guys are the smuggler, huh?
呃,总好过告诉你 Well, it's a lot smarter than telling you
我是走私犯 that I'm the smuggler.
什么意思,你才是走私犯吗? What do you mean, you're the smuggler?
对不住了,不然我能干啥 I'm sorry, but what else was I gonna do?
去当加拿大小城的市长 Being the mayor of a small Canadian town
听起来不错浪漫 sounds romantic and cool.
去当美国小城的市长 Being the mayor of a small American town
听起来好像你混得很差似得,讲真 sounds like you're a loser. For reals.
你得承认这是一个绝妙的骗局 You got to admit it's a good scam.
而且还发生在边境 All along the borderline.
但是我没想到的是 But I never would've thought that
那伙计和弗雷德·萨维奇事件有关 the guys from the Fred Savage incident,
分分钟让我露出破绽 would be the ones to trip me up.
他们是干掉的弗雷德·萨维奇的警察吗? These are the cops that killed Fred Savage?
令人难过 Sadly.
但我还是要说,条子之间火拼 But I will say, this little rivalry between police forces,
是把你们通通赶走的绝佳机会 is the perfect opportunity to take you both out.
呵,我们才是要把你们通通抓来 Well, now we're taking you in.
对不住了 I'm sorry.
那不是剧本的发展方向吧 But that's not the way it's going to go.
亨利,表现好一点 Henri, if you would be so kind.
- 不 - 哦,天哪 - No! - Oh, Jesus.
- 见鬼 - 注意了 - Holy shit! - And do pay
- 大幕后面有好戏上演 attention to that man behind the curtain.
你们的拉比特迟钝得很嘛 Your Rabbit wasn't quick enough.
也许下次,他溜得能快一些 Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh?
如果他有个三长两短 If anything happens to him,
我他妈干死你 I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday!
老天,现在我知道谁吞光了我的女性春药 Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia.
现在,放下枪 So, drop your guns,
否则拉比特和他的马子 or the Rabbit and his girlfriend
上演一场五马分尸的时尚秀 will multiply in gruesome fashion.
抱歉 I'm so sorry.
让她走,朋友,她是无辜的 Let her go, Guy. She has nothing to do with this!
呃,如果他们放下枪 Well, if they put their guns down,
那么她就不会有事 no harm will come to her.
听到了吧,放下 Go on. Drop them.
放下枪,放下 Drop your guns. Drop it.
然后把手举起来 Now get those hands in the air.
随意一些 Like you just don't care.
那么,准备好 So, are you ready@@
接受大反转了吗? for the big twist?
搞什么 What the fuck?
你在干什么,什么鬼 What are you doing? What?
闭嘴 Shut the front door!
日内维奥 Genevieve.
发生了什么 What's going on here?
他会杀了我,快解开我的链子 He'll kill me. Let me out of my chains.
你的动作也太他妈慢了 What the fuck took you so long, Guy?
先是我不得不给他吹箫 First I have to have his circumcised dick in me
然后又把我绑了这么久 and then you tie me to this log?
开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?
我恨你 I hate you!
我恨你 I hate you.
杀了他们 Shoot them.
全杀了 Shoot them all.
乐意之极,老板 With pleasure, boss.
慢着 Hold on!
如果我要堕落,我要堕落成一个美国人 If I'm going down, I'm going down American!
好了,少卖弄破嗓子 All right, enough with that song.
杀 Shoot them.
快点,快来救救我的老二 Hurry, it's about to slice my johnson!
这不是真的 This is not happening.
要做的破事真不少 That was a hell of a thing to do.
感觉我的母性本能在呼唤我 I guess my maternal instinct is kicking in.
老母牛 La vache.
什么 What?
干掉那头老牛 Shoot the cow.
啊哈 Ah!
坏了,我没子弹了 Damn it! I'm out of bullets!
我还有一枚 I got one more!
发挥它的作用 Make it count!
哦 Oh!
哎呦 Ow.
爱死这第48枚子弹了 Gotta love that 48th bullet.
放下武器,放下 Drop it! Drop your weapon!
快点,站起来 Come on, get up from the dirt.
我要被阉了 I'm about to get neutered!
坚持住 Hang on!
快把它移走 Get this outta here!
快帮我解开这玩意 Get me off this!
我不这么认为 I don't think so.
好了,你点燃了哈利法克斯大爆炸的引线 Okay. Now you've lit the fuse of the Halifax Explosion.
是,在我的日子 Yeah. In my day@@
等你亮出大牙 when your big boy teeth came in,
你的曲棍球教练分分钟给你拔了 your hockey coach would pull them out@@
所以你不会错过什么转变 so you wouldn't miss a shift.
是吗? 在我们国家 Yeah? In my country,
我们把这些琐事交给牙仙处理 we let the Tooth Fairy deal with that shit.
你会知道这是怎么一回事的 You would know all about fairies, wouldn't you?
来吧,干吧,混账东西 Okay. Let's do this, moosefucker.
好啊,你确定要这么做 Yeah, you want to do it?
- 你想干一场吗? - 是,放马过来 - You wanna go? - Yeah. Let's go.
- 没错,你确定吗? 你确定吗? - 是啊,我确定 - Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go? - Yeah. I wanna go.
哦,没教养吗? Ooh, clip-on. Little tacky, eh?
没错 Yeah!
那是前曲棍球选手 That's one former hockey player
谁能关了那玩意 who can shut the puck up!
是吧,伙计们 Right, guys?
真他妈说得好 Shit, that was a good line.
快点,坏了 Come on, damn it!
哦,天哪 Oh, my God!
现在好了,现在好了 That's great! That's great!
你们犯什么浑 What the hell is wrong with you guys?
没一个靠谱的 It's like none of you Yanks ever operated
像是没人会干事一样 an industrial grade rotary timber saw, eh?
嘿,你的口音怎么了 Hey! What about your accent?
我是安德莉亚·斯普纳,安大略省警察 Andrea Spooner, Ontario Provincial Police.
- 什么 - 闭嘴 - What? - Shut up!
什么 What?
为什么佛蒙特州高速公路巡警在这儿 Why is the Vermont Highway Patrol even here?
我做卧底已经三年 I've been undercover three years.
是特遣队的成员 Part of a task force@@
专攻犯罪组织 with the Organized Crime Unit
隶属安大略省警队 of the Ontario Provincial Police.
她是安大略省警队的 She's down with OPP.
你们这群混蛋坏了我三年的成果 You assholes just blew three years of work for me.
我马上就要接触到他们的供货商了 I was this close to getting their supplier.
现在我永远找不到了 Now I'll never get them.
额,我乐意提供协助 Well, I'm happy to offer you full cooperation of our@@
闭上臭嘴 Shut the fuck up!
嗯 Hm.
- 哇哦 - 哇哦 - Wow - Wow.
嘿,伙计们,帮我一把 Hey, guys, do me a solid, eh?
一会儿你清理时 When you're sweeping up back there,
关照一下我的胸垫 keep an eye out for my falsies.
不了吧,你看起来不需要 Nah. You're not going to need teeth
你去哪儿 where you're going, eh.
你是我们的英雄 You were our hero, Guy.
拥有一座窑子的曲棍球选手 An hockey player who owned a whorehouse.
没错,想想你花了11年 Yeah, and to think you spent 11 years
在加拿大人的地盘耕耘 in the Canadian system.
纽西·拉隆德都要在墓里翻跟头 Newsy Lalonde would be rolling in his grave right now.
你在卡尔加里会适应的很好 You would have fit in good in Calgary, eh.
说到一帮暴徒 Talk about a bunch of goon.
尤其是那个后卫 Especially that defenseman Bonchance.
最差劲 That guy is the worst.
真是个无赖,对吧 What a mucker, that guy, eh?
不,他38岁进了北美曲棍球联盟 No, he end up in the QSPHL by the time he's 38.
无聊 Boring!
放松,放松 Easy! Easy!
啊,哦 Ah! Oh!
他来了 There he is!
他们用日本国旗把你裹起来了 They wrapped you in the Japanese flag.
嘿,伙计,谢谢救我 Hey, man, thanks for saving my life.
真不知道没有你我会怎么办 I don't know what I would have done without you.
哦,没事,我不需要一个拥抱 Oh, that's okay, I don't need a hug.
不是给你的 It's not for you.
好吧 Okay.
小心,小心,小心 Careful, careful, careful!
老兄,你在泌乳吗? Dude, are you lactating?
我只是按本能指示在做,行吧 I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, okay?
行,桑尼,你这个少妇 Okay, Thorn. You're the tits!
祝好运,拿下湿短袖竞赛 Good luck with the wet T-shirt contest.
兄弟 Men.
感觉怎么样 How are ya feelin'?
哦,还行 Oh, it's okay.
抱歉刚刚说"我恨你"这种话 I'm so sorry about saying "I hate you" Back there.
我懂,抱歉我撒谎了 Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I lied.
真不敢相信我看不出来 I just can't believe I didn't know.
呃,你很贴心,但是耳根子软 Well, you were very sweet, but also very gullible.
也许我们可以找机会聚一聚 Maybe you and I could get together
听一些法国老歌 and listen to some old-timey French music@@
等你痊愈 when that gets all healed up.
好的,没问题 Yeah, sure.
操蛋的加拿大人 Fuckin' Canadian.
- 给我50毫升的吗?啡 Give me 50 cc's of morphine,
剃须膏还有剃刀 - 要剃刀干什么 - shaving cream and a razor - A razor for what?
来给你的蛋蛋理个发 To remove the hair from your testicles.
我得给你缝合 I have to stitch you up.
为什么你需要给我缝合 Why would you need to stitch me up?
这看起来就是个小伤口 It's like a paper cut.
我们所需要的就只是一个创可贴,好了,伙计们 All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!
性感的腹毛 Happy trails!
看起来那个骗子要把他的蛋蛋剃干净了 Looks like the rook's getting his nuts shaved after all.
- 谁想喝咖啡 - 好主意 - Who wants coffee? - Sounds good.
奥·海根队长 Captain O'Hagan!
我听说你和你的属下最近干件漂亮事 I hear you and your men did some good work.
是的,我们抓住了那些走私者 We did. We caught the smugglers.
再一次 Again.
那是什么声音 What the hell was that?
哦,妈的 Oh, shit.
完事了 Done and done.
有头小猪在喊,"上帝啊,太疼了" This little piggy cried, "God damn! That hurt!"
你身上到底发生了什么事 What the hell happened to you?
啊,我刚刚输了场比赛 Ah. I just lost a pussy bet.
如果我脚趾指你,我就得杀掉你 If I "Toed" Ya, I'd have to kill ya.
哦 Oh!
小心我的脚,哦,小心我的脚 Watch the hoof! Ow! Watch the hoof!
警员们,我是卡桑德拉·安妮·加采克,五频道记者 Officers! Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News.
考虑到你是这次破产的当事人之一 Given your involvement with this bust
对于即使没破产你仍然会被人顶替 how does it feel to know
你有何感想 that you are still being replaced?
啊,你知道,他们刚进门的时候我就想 Uh, you know, when they first arrive I am wondering:
"这些人是谁 "Who are these people
他们是来这拿走我们的土地的吗?" they come here taked our land?"
然后我找到了答案,哈 But then I have it, my answer, huh.
他们是英雄 They are heroes.
哦 Aw!
这些人@@,他们用生命来捍卫我们的权利 These men@@ they putted their life on the line for us.
其中一个人,还救了我的命 One of them, he even saved my life.
就是这个有着棕色皮肤和湿湿的咪咪头的男人 This tan guy here with the wet tits.
- 但我们痛恨美国人 - 我听见你的话了,我听见了 - But we hate Americans! - I hear you. I hear you.
但我还是得告诉你@@ But I have to tell you@@
如果所有的美国人 if these gentlemen are an example
都和这些绅士一样的话@@ of what it means to be American@@
我没事 I'm okay.
我也会为自己是个美国人而自豪 Then I am proud to be an American too.
- 好吧 - 我自豪,我为自己是个美国人而自豪 - All right - I am. I'm proud to be American.
所以,我们现在要出发去北边建立车站 So, we're leaving to start our station up north.
但是我可以很有信心的说 But I say with great confidence
我们把你们交给了最对的人 that we couldn't leave you in better hands
没有人比佛蒙特高速巡警更合适了 than in those of the Vermont Highway Patrol.
成为这个星球最酷的混球你有什么感受 How does it feel to be the coolest motherfucker on this planet?
还是你来告诉我吧,伙计,还是你来说吧 You tell me, buddy. You tell me.
哦 Aw.
啊,好吧,不好意思 Uh, yeah. Excuse me.
等一下 Hold on.
事实上,我来这是想告诉你 Actually, I'm here to tell you
美国与加拿大政府 that the U.S. And Canadian governments
已经决定了要推迟相互开放 have decided to postpone the turnover
直到其余的藏匿的走私品都被找到 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found.
所以,等一下 So, wait.
我们算是加拿大人还是美国人 Are we Canadians or are we Americans?
现在你还算是加拿大人 You're still Canadians for now.
而且永远是 And that's going to continue indefinitely.
很抱歉 Sorry.
好吧,现在这片地方都归我们管辖了,是吧 Okay, so we are now in control of this area again, eh?
不,不,我们双方都有管辖权 No, no. We both have authority.
你和你的授权 You got the authority to go take
都玩蛋去吧 a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
嘿,我们刚刚救了你的命,你这么快就忘了 Hey, we just saved your lives, you remember that?
我们这有句谚语 We have an expression here.
是说,“你最近为我做了什么” It go, "What have you done for me lately?"
好吧,也许我们应该把你 Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass
扒光了重新扔回树林去 back out to the woods naked.
或者我们可以给你的白宫再放一把火,啊 Or maybe we could burn down your White House again! Eh?
你说的到底是什么意思 What the hell does that mean?
1812年的战争,嗯,学学你们的历史 The War of 1812, eh. Learn your history.
哦,你一拳快把他的胡子打掉了 Oh! You punched the mustache right off his face!
不,不,不,看,他带的是假胡子,啊 No, no, no! Look, he's wearing a postiche, eh!
你别管他的假胡子了,快干他们 You shut up about his postiche, come on!
你发现了什么 What do you got?
树上有只猫 Cat in a tree.
啊,是啊 Ah, yeah.
嘿,弗雷德·萨维奇 Hey, Fred Savage.
- 你好 - 我是麦金太尔·沃马科 - How's it going? - Macintyre Womack.
哦,见到你很高兴,警官 Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer.
卡尔·福斯特 Carl Foster.
见到你很高兴,弗雷德 Nice to meet you. Fred.
那么,你俩来干什么,要拍警察电影吗? So, what's with the ride-along? You got a cop movie coming out?
啊,不,其实是个美国科幻频道的新节目 Uh, no, it's actually a new show for the Syfy Channel.
就是讲外星人入侵小镇的一个节目,名字叫弗蒙特州的怪物 Kind of a small-town alien invasion show called Vermonsters.
- 哦 - 我到时候一定看 - Oh! - I'd see that.
所以,你们花了不少时间 So, do you guys spend a lot of time
嗯,把猫从树林里弄出来 getting, um, cats out of trees?
这就是你们的工作吗? Is that kinda the job?
不,我们接到电话然后通知了火警部门 No, we get the call and then we call the Fire Department.
- 让他们把猫弄出来的 - 哦 - They get the damn thing out - Oh.
我能麻烦你跟我来个自拍吗? Could I actually trouble you for a quick selfie?
我是[公主新娘]的影迷 I'm a big Princess Bride fan.
好的,没问题 Yes. My pleasure.
这部电影让我在高中很容易勾到女孩 That was my "Get laid movie" In high school.
哦,不客气 Oh! You're welcome.
说‘茄子’ Buttercup!
天哪 Holy shit!
- 你拍到了吗? - 拍好了 - Did you get it? - Nailed it.
弗雷德·他妈的·萨维奇,哈 Fred fuckin' Savage, huh?
- 额,是,那是我 - 他在这儿,快看就是他 - Uh, yes. That's me - He's right here! Look at him!
- 是的,我们知道 - 你好吗? - Yeah, we know - How are ya?
你还和维尼在一起吗? You still with Winnie?
额,不,不,只是个,那只是个电视节目,伙计 Uh, no, no. Just a@@ just a show, man.
- 你干完她后我排第二 - 好的,很好 - I call sloppy seconds! - Okay, great.
我想我得去抓猫了,我得去抓猫了 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat.
萨维奇先生,我们不能让你那么做 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that,
因为,你知道,嗯 because, you know, well,
我们得为你的安全负责 we're responsible for your safety.
不用担心我的安全,我爬树很在行的 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber.
记得电影[超级猴子]吗? Remember the movie Super Monkey?
是的 Yeah.
那部电影里我完全没用替身 I did all my own stunts in that movie.
我爬树很在行的 I'm good with the trees.
好吧 Okay.
看他上树的样子,哇哦 Look at him go. Wow.
我看见它了,我抓到它了 I can see it! I got the cat.
慢慢来,萨维奇先生 Take it easy, Mr. Savage.
我认为[超级猴子]这部电影很烂 I thought Super Monkey sucked.
是的,而且那些猴子都他妈的很假 Yeah. And the monkeys were so fuckin' fake.
- 啊,哦,斯科特说过那电影的主要剧情就是香蕉 - 嘿,伙计 - A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas - Hey, buddy.
嘿,你们知道吗? 我能听见你们的谈话 Hey, you know, I can hear you guys.
好吧,你们应该假装现在是在拍电影 Alright, you should try acting in a movie
然后秀秀你们能不能做那些高难度动作,那些真的难度很高 and doing your own stunts. It's really hard!
- 好的 - 好的,别像个混蛋一样 - Sure - All right, don't be dicks.
唔 Woo!
你看见我怎么下来了吗? Did you see that shit?!
你们这些混蛋谁想要个猫玩玩 [双关语,英语里猫也叫pussy,cat,同时也指女性] Any of you motherfuckers want some pussy?
怎么样 What's up?!
你带着拿你的罚单本 You reach for your ticket book.
我找到了,好的 I got ya. Okay.
不好意思,对不起,对不起 'Scuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
别管那个了,给我拿着这个 Don't worry about it. Hold that for me.
- 拿着,准备好了吗? - 是的 - Here we go. Ready? - Yeah.
哦 Ooh!
我真不能相信在美国 I can't believe it's a crime down in the U.S.
喝啤酒,玩女人和鸡鸡竟然违法 to drink beer and enjoy tits and dick.
我是说,嘀,嘀,那也没啥伤害啊 I mean, beep beep! There's no harm there.
我是说,那也没啥伤害啊 I mean@@ There's no harm there.
这是不错的健身,嗯 It's a good workout, eh.
停,我能练一晚上 Cut. I could do that all night.
我知道 I know@@
开始 And action!
哦 Oh!
就是这么容易 That's how easy it is.
哦,上帝啊,混蛋 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker.
我们得一直重拍到午饭吗? 一直到午饭 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch?
开始 Action.
哦 Oh!
你们谁家有,那个,那个特别年长的人 Which one of you guys has a, le, a le seniority?
你得把腮帮子吹鼓起来 You got to blow those cheeks out.
好的 Okay.
我想你的胡子进我嘴里了 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth.
你屁眼在哪 Where's your asshole?
它就在,在那 It's right about@@ right there.
跟着热气走 Just follow the heat.
你们一开始就偷了我们的工作,现在又坐在这 First you steal our job and now you sit here
坐在椅子上感受着异性按摩 getting a sensual massage from a chair
在商场中央,让我们的女人给你按摩 in the center of the mall with our women.
你能把话说的简练点吗? Can you shorten that?
不,只有这么说我才能表达清楚 No, that's the only way I can say it.
哦,哦,哦,吉丝·路易斯 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise.
现在我知道了是谁吃了我的Lava,Scotia Now I know who gobbled up all my Lava Scotia.
额,是福罗瓦·斯科夏 Uh, Flova Scotia.
现在我知道了是谁吃了我的福罗瓦·斯科夏 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia.
- 额,,福罗,额,flova - 是福罗瓦,妈的 - Uh, Flo, uh, Flova - Flova. God damn it.
我所有的福罗瓦·斯科夏 All my Flava Scotia.
- 我所有的福罗瓦·斯科夏 - ,是Flova - All my Flava Scotia - Flova.
我一定能说对的,罗瓦,福罗瓦 I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova.
现在我知道是谁吃了我所有的Flava,Scotia Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia.
- 差不多了吧 - 不,差很多 - Close? - No. Not really.
这个怎么样,这个怎么样,哈 What about this?! What about this, huh?!
我们是不是做这个的时候得像个 Didn't we do that to like
精瘦的金发大脑门一样 a skinny blond guy with a big forehead?
闻起来像是培根 Smelled like bacon?
讨厌吃微波食物吗? [一种美国三明治] Always yakking about Hot Pockets?
你说的是我 That was me.
你问我是不是看见了你 You asked if I saw you
在周围蹦来蹦去 jumping around all mimbly bimbly@@
你问我是不是看见了你 You asked if I saw you
在周围蹦来跳去@@. jumping around all nimby, ni@@
跳来跳去 All nibbily-bimbly.
不好意思,是蹦来跳去 Sorry, what@@ It's nimbly-bimbly.
你可以的,加菲根 Come on, Gaffigan!
笨蛋 Idiot.
[假装是法语,里面夹杂着英语] Bon vivant bouillabaisse, croissant, le chicken cordon bleu?
额,这有点太多了 Eh, that's a little much.
- 这个上面写着“虎鞭” - 舔它 - This one says "Tiger Penis" - Suck it!
- 闭嘴吧,胖子 - 对不起,这个太有意思了 - Shut up, Farva - Sorry. It's just funny.
额 Eh@@
这他妈的,哥们 What the shit, Guy?
你为什么告诉我们他们是走私者 Why you tell us they are the smuggler@@
对不起,我很抱歉 Sorry, I'm sorry.
额@@额@@ Uh@@ Eh@@
好吧,好吧,再来一次,再来一次 All right. All right. Here we go, here we go.
- 得把调找到 - 是,我找到了 - Just gotta find it - Yeah, I got it.
额 Uh@@
额@@额@@ Uh@@ Eh@@
抱歉,我完全@@好的,好的 Sorry. I'm totally@@ Okay, okay.
嘿,结束了 Hey, cut it.