one
the
or or the moral the
I don't think on scientific writing for more than 20 years
in part based on my experience in graduate school that I had fantastic
mentors I had really excellent
advisors and worked with friend for for people
so I learned a lot about how to do an experiment want to control
what's a good research system how do you know when you're done when it came time
to write
no actually have very much to say to me
except you know how to do this don't you and what do you say at that point you're
50 or 60 a graduate student
have no I you sure yeah back
yeah okay and and so go and do it arm
and so I didn't do it and what I discovered
van and repeatedly in that that although
in France writing my papers in writing my dissertation
although my data remained the same
my results did not anybody ever have that experience yet you will
you wear you well okay
that the debt that I didn't do any new experiments but the process
%uh writing changed what I thought I had
and in fact what I had and what I published and what I'm known for
and that struck me as really interesting and surprising
because it suggested that in the process up writing up
such a on metaphor we just I've got a result I'm just gonna
write him up like the laundry list and the process a writing
up my data and my results that I was actually discovering new things and
therefore this was part of science
and here I was at this mecca of science and nobody had anything to say about it
now also thought that sounded like an opportunity and it turned out to be
arm and I was fortunate that I ended up shortly after that at Duke where I met
two
am the trip then director writing george Copan and i ended up being able to make
a career scientific writing so bad i wanna talk to you
about strategies for thinking about writing that I learned
back how twenty years ago and have been promulgating ever since
because this is a group is particularly concerned about communicating
not only with was communicating especially outside
your specific discipline what I want to focus on in the two hours that we have
together
are things that will help you in both arenas so we're going to try to
introduce you two ways of thinking about language
that with I hope to open the door to thinking more broadly and to going out
off in search of other resources and other materials
and I've got some a you know something some there's a second page the handout
that has resources that will come around a little later
and in addition will give you give you some
materials that you can work with in PCR and going forward
okay let me ask a couple questions for so how many of you right about your
science
once a week like Children's Place and don't wear this is not a prerequisite
for being here
okay not okay how do you write about your signs once a month
well that's a little better was pretty good about once a quarter
at least once a quarter alright so on at we at anybody who's up to six months or
a year once a year
wouldn't get their hands up there everybody writes at least once a year
okay
we think about your PI think about the person who runs your research group
how many of them right about science
once a week please raise your hands yeah
okay guess what guys you just signed up for the job
writer yet I mean
you know you are going to live and I not only by the quality of the research you
produce
but more by the ability to Getty out fast enough and getting to the right
place
in the hands of the right meters scientists our writers
sorry I didn't like that either help
yeah I very I had a high school teacher who was so disappointed I was going in
society
she writes so well and I thought heck with that so I find it very amusing that
this is what I do now
so scientists are writers want to give you one more twist here
up it's not just as that's an easy sell mean it you know
look let's be let's be clear you're going to be writing and thats it doesn't
you can't
all I'm not gonna runaway research lab in an institution I can sell the
pharmaceutical industry
I work for government agencies that's what scientists do
that's what experts do they produced tax your job will be as a writer
except if your scientific writer your job is a bigger job
the most to the writers out there because
what distinguishes scientific writing from other writing and other disciplines
is not that we write about numbers so economists
or not we write about images so too are historians
but the thing about economist an art historians is the right single
author documents and weed out
do we we write multi offer documents
so not only will you be spending your career writing
a good percentage of the time but you'll be riding with other people
so guess what not only are all scientists writers
they are all defacto teachers our writing
because you're gonna spend your careers working with people who have different
degrees of experience
in writing on communal documents
and I just came back from a week UPA it is my a trip
there they right documents have 2,220
a pages with 65 authors
and as they put it if somebody isn't trying to sue them they're not doing
their job
so these are really complex documents and if you want to use when
so very quickly you're gonna find yourself in a situation where you are
not responsible
out you're responsible not only for what you write well for
giving feedback to all the other people who are writing with you
and I'll ask your co authors give you what you want and what you need
without any feedback from you you are in exactly the same situation
that new instructors in our writing program are in when they face their
first stack of papers
because I mean no you know somebody teaching writing seminar can go in and
rewrite
all 12 drafts that the students had failed on
and tell them what to do they've gotta give that that provide feedback that
enables the writer
to get better alright so
that's the framework for what I want to do tonight is actually want to keep I
wanna
sorta move you to thinking about writing and language in
and took from and it was different perspective I'm 21 and you find more
systematic and more logical to make you a couple metaphors for thinking about it
and they were actually do some hands-on stuff all right and we're gonna do and
I'm gonna set you up to think about
how to analyze things and then I'm gonna let you do a bunch I'll
are revisions are that come from a workshop that I gave it the National
Institutes of Health
several times actually exercise that was developed at NIH
using materials from NIH and that's what we're gonna do that sound worthwhile for
the next couple hours
okay alright so what i do is i teach writing from the perspective of
readers and that's interesting because most of what we hear about writing
is from the perspective of writers an ass is to figure out
but not by and by that I mean your you're sitting there you got writers
have problems
right heart you a blank piece of paper a blank screen in front of you in the
question is
what do I say next and when I say next n
I got five pages to fill before Tuesday I'm in a writing class
I what am I gonna say I only have half a page to say now
okay and and how am i how am I gonna do this or you got the situation up
there I've only got 150 words for this abstract but I paid 400 words and I
still haven't said what's important to me and it's due tomorrow because it's
always do tomorrow right
and because because you're spending too much time a laboratory getting the data
because I'm writing you should know how to do this you can just do it in your
sleep
so we're constantly in a situation where we're in a panic typically
are at least concerned about what am I going to say next
and then we can always make if the back to you things whatever you say next is
the wrong thing
okay yeah so let's go let's go let's go there I'm
we have we and so I work I work mostly with students back to what actually have
a courses for graduate students at princeton
anti-worker graduations but I asked me with a faculty so let me tell you a
secret that I tell my students
your faculty are expert writers they're not expert teachers are writing
and they often don't have a language for capturing their expertise they've
learned it the hard way
they've been copy edited to death which is the only way we know how to teach
writing to about thirty years ago
go in and change it for somebody see the changes I made
yes yes changes now you know what to do
great you have I ever think that thought exactly this way i'll know what to do
how might
your how do I think a different thought I we need a more systematic approach to
your advisers your
the professors here are six they couldn't be here if they were not
expert writers but they they don't have a language and that's what I've been
trying to develop for talking about their expertise
and so they don't have a way of passing that on to
their junior colleagues imagine trying to do your research with out a
specialized vocabulary
match we didn't have a word call control
you try and explain this to people everybody would be pretty frustrated
okay had a disc so thinking about reading from the reader's perspective
ask you to forget about never mind what I want to say there's a place for that
you gotta get with rapt
but then you start thinking about was reading this document
and what do they need from it and how are they going to behave
now the bad news: for you for graduate school is it
you don't know this at the beginning of graduate school how many of you have
submitted a paper for review to a journal
and had difficulty with the review okay
you start to learn what kinda readers are out there
the standards are those readers what they need to know what
that I call that this is my target metaphor writing
a scientific research article is like shooting for a small target at the far
end of a football field
it is it these are the most compact concise
heavy-duty documents I've encountered I worked a lot of different people
the rock the research article is the product array sure
it's what's left over when everything has been stripped of it except exactly
what needs to be there
and its if basically almost impossible to see
that that's what you're doing early in your career you can spend three years in
the laboratory
convincing yourself that your data are real before we have even
inkling of what it might take to convince somebody else
so we have two I wanted a wary about writing from the reader's perspective
and I actually would define graduate school
the what you really learning in graduate school one other one on the way to are
make from the whole arc
you're learning to be calm a professional reader
science that's why
by the end of the year graduate years you'll probably be asked to review
papers and to ask act as a peer reviewer
because you'll be able to represent the scientific community
but it's really hard to do that at the beginning okay so I so want to put that
out there that wanna
that that in addition to learning all the hot stuff in your field and all the
techniques
and working on your project you have a bigger research project you need to
understand
who are the people the time is right to you
okay so I want to think about it reading the reader's perspective not just a
couple men for cinema plunging into actually doing some real working
arm reading takes energy that fair
recycled articles especially takes energy
okay and what readers do with that energy as they try to figure out what
does this text me
and I i to say that they they're worried about two different read my shock
affair on I
I knew I put some choc aside but then the board disappeared
okay
what readers are trying to do is they've writers produced a cat
and the rear is trying to figure out
what does that text me
and I want to say that what readers are doing is they're interpreting attacks
you may not like they might think another tech
let you think a Texas if they're it that the magic coat like you here's the text
in
and here's the decoder ring your unpack what I packed into this text
sorry rate reading is not stuff expander
hey its a you got readers interpret they look at the words on the page
and they look at what they understand about now
the writer purpose
setting up
language feel okay
and then they figure out what is that text likely to mean in that context
to readers are interpreting and what this means is that
there's no way to control what anything means such that everybody interpreted
the same way
a call this the thermodynamic moment if you take you back to that moment
freshman chemistry
where you contemplated the heat death of the universe com
their markets were cited as you can't win
you can only break even you can't break even accepted absolute zero
and you can't get to absolute zero grade
okay this is the thermodynamic that language
text don't have pics means words words are arbitrary that's also will mama
is an almost every language on the planet and has a different meaning every
one of them
okay words don't have pics means they have interpretations
interpretations are assigned by readers
and readers and therefore interpretations possible interpretations
are infinite
at over to start thinking about readers we have to think ritually about readers
about the ways that they
might interpret in the way we in 10 but they might for reasons that
Bob are pretty obvious when we think hard about them
they don't know science they're afraid of science the talk you can have next
month that they've got they've got some by sees that make it hard for them to
one believe a piece a science
that's going to affect their interpretation so
reading takes energy and that energy goes into interpretation and
interpretation has two parts:
first readers read for structure
and by that I mean what is this piece of language
what are the words as the sentence is a paragraph is it a document
know when I read that structure I got this end is where's the subject where's
the Burbank you that structure
and after they interpret structure they go for
substance now that I know how this is a sentence
what does it mean pair
and in fact with goes in that order first we figure out what
whether these words do we and then
what am I supposed to do with that information
okay sorry but these two claims these two postulates together
there's a certain amount a vintage makes energy to read and reader energy is
finite
at a given moment you have a certain amount of energy to do anything
that and if you get this debts dispersed as structured
and then substance and this is a
some 0 game
energy that goes into figuring out the structure is not available to figure out
the substance
every penny all your energy trying to figure out how these words or sentences
where's the bird where's the second call
what the subject they have very little energy to figure out
what it might be how are you and that's a real problem for us
because our substance itself is sometimes really complicated
any the lot of thought okay
so we can actually and I'll give you my working definition a bad scientific
writing
that scientific writing is writing that requires a disproportionate amount
the readers energy simply to figure out what it's all about
that's probably fifty percent of the litter right there
okay art so I Warcraft
well I hoping to get only a little less are so
readers are worried about structure and substance now I'm gonna jump ahead and
because
I've got reference that we could talk more about that and I could build up a
whole for
wanna jump into a celeb what I call reader expectations
so because readers are reading for structure before they reefer substance
if you know something about what readers expect
in given locations you can make some
predictions about what readers will do with information in those locations
give you an example on that readers we
when you're reading the scientific research article you're reading the most
structured document
academic document for sure that any feel has
where do you expect to get the experimental details
in the methods section right have you am sure you have read a paper where you get
got those details
in the Results section how do you feel
sort of annoying like what are they doing don't they know better
I don't want to put this kind of detailed energy into reading this stuff
this belongs over there
so we know this is the document level and it turns out that structures
everywhere structures everywhere
and so if you can start paying attention to structure you start to see
how readers get a coup and how readers are interpreting
whether to the level document all the way down to level up sentences
so let me actually stopping theoretical started give you my agenda here
I wanna think about how do readers figure out
what to emphasize
because if you could can't if you could have a reasonable
maybe if you could be reasonably confident that your readers were
emphasizing what you thought was important
rather than what they thought was important I might be fifty percent of
the job right there
if they agree a viewing you said this is when you put something up because you
thought it was important you were confident that they said
oh yeah I got it that's important I'm gonna pay attention to it
what are the challenges have writing about sigh I've
actually anything about specially science is that
sometimes we have competing messages to deliver
there is this result there is this uncertainty
there's good news there's bad news
and one of the dangers and we see this happen all the time
is that what's out what I want you to emphasize
is not what you decide to emphasize anew run with the stuff that I would like to
have minimized
and you make it into a big deal
so what I want to look at are how do readers make decisions about
emphasizing information and then we're going to work with us hand out and then
actually
than abortion groups because I've I've done the fickle
this bigger room beloved group so you get to do some hands-on
so what are the cues that readers use to figure out
what's important I mean a structural cue I have two clauses
in a sentence although
blah blah blah blah blah main clause
which you can emphasize most main closet you can hear the name
readers tend to put grant emphasis to the information that arrives in the
main clause main cause is also known as an independent clauses the freestanding
past okay
you can hear that mean cost subordinate clause will
this shouldn't we shouldn't have to make this explicit but we do
main cause is where we get the emphasis okay
a second cue for emphasis that we don't have time to develop and I'm just gonna
tell you
I mean tell you the proper save the best for last
I so there's a tendency our readers
to emphasize information that arrives at the moment have closure
at the end up something if they get to the end
K at the sentence level they get to the end
the chances of a reader leaving in the middle of one of your sentences unless
you
bludgeon them to death are really slim they may check out immediately after the
sentence
but you can predict that a reader will stick around at the end of a sentence
so there's a queue for emphasis what comes at the end
tends to get and assess of
can with me we have another Q Francis
from a reader's perspective something that takes longer to go into
must be more important right
if it demands more energy from you you hope it deserves more energy from you
and that is more significant so there's a queue for emphasis
in terms I'm laying of
and this explains propped up experience I have a laboratory probably have to do
an experiment
the same same way ten times and runs
properly nine times and then you have to write it up those ten times and somehow
the one time it didn't work
seems to take over the whole thing because you're spending so much
time and energy and so many sentences trying to explain away the anomalous
result that all the good results and disappeared
so like this a signal for emphasis here's a fourth one
reputation
you might think I we don't like repetition scientific research are to
Bologna
what's the main result where where is the main result assigned a researcher
article reported let me tell me
any abstract and in the result and
in the discussion and in the title and
your pens and now we hope at the end of the discussion
at the end of the introduction how do you know it's the main result
because as the result if that gets repeated
so we use reputation as a source at anthesis
we don't want repetitions that is a necessary that becomes redundant
but we certainly use reputation was a we know that Q two-part what you do and how
to do it on a surface in you what you know is a reader
but you've never been probably able to access and capture as a writer
you can have a language to do that okay one more source at emphasis
and I'm gonna put it down here and the category
I'll use the formal term semantics of I
words the words can tell you what's important
in a writer says the most important thing is then unless you're being you
know sort of annoying and uncooperative I think you believe them
bot the words themselves sometimes
signal importance to its right if you've got a hot word or a buzzword or
a word that is in in big it has have a lot of power in at the word can carry
things as well
now most writing most reading him books talk
about emphasis and talk about writing in general as if riding with
eighty percent word choice find limo juiced
the right word in it always the right word its French
filing motions and 20 percent structure and
we're going to an example that I hope will convince you that it's the other
way around
that readers take eighty percent of their instructions at least for emphasis
from the structure worth count
a much less than you think and I think this is great because
I I love struck from scientist
structure structures what we do really well so these are paying attention
structure
you will see all sorts of things okay questions before returning to hand out
super make sense okay wet take a look please at the handout
you've got I should put welling up in my without my glasses
and I want to take a look at these first four sentences and I'm just gonna read
them to you everybody gotta hand out here this the one that has the PCR in
the top
up I am if somebody comes down to is the front that could bring some extra from
the back that would be great a couple people here who need them
okay maybe I will get my glasses what we're doing
okay do you have the handout
let me just introduce you to the four sentences
one a
ice although friends a nice guy he beat his dog
be although fred beats his dog
he's a nice guy see fred's a nice guy
but he beat his dog the Fred beat his dog
but he's a nice guy okay now first let me just tell you
these are made up examples this did not come from the NIH ok
I'm so this is the pedagogic exam I just might be cleared all the other examples
are from the NIH but this one is pedagogic
alright what we have here are four sentences about Fred
yes with two classes and each of these four sentences
we know the same to fax fred is a nice guy
and Fred beat his doc okay so the data are identical in these four
so now we're gonna do experiment with a crowdsourcing and I have to set it up
first
so number one those of you who are dog
halter's you do not have to identify yourselves but I want you to understand
that at least for the purposes of our discussion over 20 minutes
dog beating is a bad being
with me good
okay nap those of you who are dog lovers
I have to ask your for parents as well I want you
to consider the possibility that somebody who beat his dog
my actually be a nice guy oh and I going to happen you just look away said no
no I won't do that and if that's you
okay it that you if your butt moral backbone is so iraq today we cannot be
contorted into this
then I have to change your question because when I'm gonna do with i mean
ask all of us to judge Fred and says you have already condemned friend
that's not useful okay what your questions can be not to what do you
think a Fred
but what do you think the author this sentence wants you to think
about Fred okay so what's the message
the sentence is sending as a post your personal judgment with me
okay so here's how it's gonna go I'm gonna really those four sentences and
I'm going to ask you to vote
and you vote by putting your hand out comes up be a Fred
or thumbs down may Fred are you instructed
are we ready here we go okay a
although fred a nice guy he beat his jock
dog Pleas Judge Fred thumbs-down on
Fred thumbs-down anybody thumbs up here now is the ninth with a big group will
crack
you're all down on Fred entered got be
although fred beat his dog he's a nice guy
Pleas Judge Fred will look at that point
I okay now this is looking more this is your thumbs up you're not a hundred
percent
thumbs up on that you know someone who held out okay but like many a percent
thumbs up
was Tracy Fred a nice guy but he beats his dog
okay
now this isn't just did you notice how much longer it took to get
to that position your position that position seems to be more negative than
positive but it's still pretty split
d Fred beats his dog
but he's a nice guy hey
now you're more positive than negative but you still collectively split and
some love you are like you know
just I'm not doing this I'm getting a lot you individually splits
okay her so so but let me see if I can summarize this as a population
you are more positive than negative but more is like 60 or 70 percent positive
and 30 percent negative it's taking longer to get there
and and there's more this okay congratulations Carnegie Mellon
you are a normal audience I have personally done
this experiment about a hundred times and all
audiences all groups our readers respond as you did
now before I think anything else if you were ever in the minority
any of these positions do not wear you to our normal
okay you are part of the normal minority
any is enormous because we're talking about not
not reader there is no such thing as about reader it
we journeys
and this is this I you I love it when this this many people that they can
actually do real statistic by one around here
com and and so real leaders pressed respond as you do
now how did you respond hey guys you changed your mind
yes and the data did not change
data are the same but they did not we did not reach the same conclusion
on those data in these four sentences
that's interesting and that's why in title this the fax to not speak for
themselves you can just imagine
that the guys who write wrote the pain she NIH they will be interested in this
one
because there's good news and bad news in the question is what's the judgment
opposed to what's going on here
we've got two clauses and they are the same way
so we're not even dealing with this part we're just dealing with these two
expectations we've got two clauses one is a main cause the others a qualifying
clause
one closet at the beginning on causes at the end so let's go through these for
them analyze them
although friends a nice guy he beats his dog
main clause beats his dog
n placement beat his dark
to structural instructions pointing in the same direction to emphasized on
beating
and you all got it 100 percent thumbs-down
read the bad guy that's what I'm supposed to take away
be although fred beats his dog he's a nice guy
main clause nice guy and placement
nice guy your response
go friend girlfriend now you know
that are beating present some people is it that there's always a group they just
can't go there
yeah I so inside like 98 percent preferred for BU
typically alright now let's look at sea
Andy Fred a nice guy
by be his dark main clause
nice guy and placement
be Tom you feel the ambivalence
you feel that love being polled in two different directions
flight takes a little longer for people to vote
now it wasn't that when n placement and main cause conflict everybody slowly
goes to one side or the
other they let
at the least what it looks like that face to the conflict which should be
used to I pay more attention to
some people go with main clause main point I'm running with it
and the other I other people say emplacement last word I'm running with
it
and everybody of space because they're getting a conflicting message
so that suggest that when now the fact they were more negative than positive
suggest that when n placement and main clause are in conflict
maybe we go a little more for the emplacement
maybe or maybe when there's a conflict we pay more attention to the data
themselves
and try to decide what we think like maybe dog beating as a worth bad then
nice guy is a good so but fortunately we have indeed up
control week with Saudi
Fred beats his dog by he's a nice guy
and put main cause with his dog
and placement nice guy and did you notice what happened
you flipped again you still very split about 30-40 percent
go with the main cause but the other sixty percent go up here
actually realize what about to say on the when I said if you if you're in the
minority not only should you feel normal that's good but you should be paying
extra attention
if you were ever in the minority here because what you have just discovered
you may not have no if that most people don't
we like you
that's really important to know you might need to do this
deliberately consciously for the reader
even if its me if it seems a little odd to you
okay so what mister what we do with its me just wished
recap we've got here in a moment add lane and other things to this and then
I'm gonna
set you free did go work on your cell service okay
where getting you wanna sweat you wanna swing
though judgment one way or the other you stack
your instructions you have bad news
and you want people to emphasize the bad news you put the bad news in a main
cause you put the main cause at the end
and you can predict that 99 percent of your readers
we'll go with that they were at least understand what you want them to do they
might object
but they will still understand what you're saying
you wanna go Paul positive you put the with the good news in the main cause you
put it at the end
you want to be ambivalent
in and fam yeah
some you want to be ambivalent sometimes
youth group the instructions but now I have to figure out well
what's the strategic split am i ambivalent but I'd like a little more
positive I'm I ambivalent I like a little more negative
you panic but everybody will get ambivalence
alright but complicated ready let struggling into this
equation here we go take a look at the NF
fred is a good husband caring father fine colleague in an altogether nice guy
even though he beats his dog
I would submit the lake makes a difference yup
the hard thing what that every let's go prior even though he beats his dog fred
is a good husband a caring father fine call again altogether nice guy
no one like deadly makes a difference even as and thought here to see what it
is
let's look at first okay even though he beats his dog
we have the structure what causes this the subordinate clause where is it
early you know that structure are sworn to close early all I should minimize
this cuz the main clause late
is gonna take it over now we get to the main clause Fred
yes is a good husband a caring father a phone call again it all together nice
guy
this is like it might even be reputation thread for president
I this is clearly an apology for Fred by the time the sentences over the darkest
lie often walking in the back room we forgot about him
okay so it don't put my in here any out any changes that now go back to at all
start-up fred is a good husband all we know this structure which causes early
name cause fred is a good has been a caring father a fine call again in all
together nice guy
so now we're where are you looking at the stop structure we saw before the
Cudi
where the main clauses early and subordinate clauses late
now the last time we look at that structure when faced with the conflict
between
and placement and main clause readers well with the emplacement
what have we done now we thought the La delaying into the main cause
does the main cause outweigh me the n placement here
let's wrap this ends up even though he beat his dog
prices call
something wrong with Fred look at all those wonderful staff about Fred
and he still and up beating his dog
let's get him a psychiatrist said okay so
what's going on here what's going on here
make makes a difference that fair I think
and I think the difference it makes is that link is and intensifier
it adds to the message
so you're sending an ambivalent message only gets really ambivalent when all the
link gets dropped in there
you're sending a really strong message one way or the other happen it's really
clear
whether to try this together with the next exams exams are actually be a magic
we were
how might you use this animal but one more thing okay
let's imagine that you are a congressperson from some defect
and you just voted on the very controversial Mrs plan and if you wanna
say sequester go ahead
I whatever how and you voted in favor
%uh that because you got your arm twisted by your party or what
but your constituents are ambivalent about
it what message do you want
we just pretend that whatever Mr access with our
NSF funding I
here para okay and your constituents you not but you not you your congressperson
army your decision was very ambivalent about it
what message you want to send home your ambivalent right
because if you if you look like you're a big booster MRX all the people who
don't like it are gonna feel that they've been shut out
so you want the ambivalence how do you do that you split restructures
if we want to bring all the people who are against Mr X
but you want them to still vote for you and when he said question
and no I didn't like it either it's not but I we know
mr x- but I'm on your side take a look at
G at yeah we should invest in the MRX plan
even know the risks are high I know
itself this is why you send Congress to make these hard decisions for us
I its if palpably ambivalent we're not a big fan Mr X
okay let's try the next one about your different congressperson from a
different cut district
and your district is in favor of them are actually have no problem with your
vote
what you're concerned about it own my up to them
who the election is 2014 and at the end of the year and those risks
all blow up in your face between now and then C-one
when the record so that you've got away
get elected my sense of politics he said that
the first job everybody in politics to get reelected okay
and it was news to me as a side make sense
how I cell what do you do you mention the risks but you don't want them to
take over so how do we do that
we subordinate them putting this morning cause
early main closet the and
H even though the risks are high we should invest in the Mr explain
I'm in favor of mr x- I'm your guy.
try third-person your different congressperson a different district not
only is your district favor memorex but its P support they sent you to
washington to get
so you're planning to ride the coattails of MRX all the way to reelection in
November 2014
how do you want to come across as the biggest booster MRX
you want to emphasize support Mr act as many ways as you can put it in a main
clause but the main quad at the end
and make that clause longer then the other one
I can already hear you know with this year have been reading scientific
writing although it helps
me right any kinda writing is going to matter look at hi
even though the risks are high we should drop on whatever funds are available and
invest
in the MRX plan
right very well nap
that'll make you a more complicated you see those extra words
and I drop on whatever funds are available
how maybe about the advice to omit needless words
yeah I did too and ever there were needless words
those are needless words right and one other funds will be drop on the ones
that aren't available
let's embezzle a little bit for mr x-
back so I don't know what why are those words there
and this is one of these interesting moments it's the difference between
I forgot my have a key term structure and
substance substantively
those words are empty they don't add anything
but structurally KC what they do in terms of structure
they're like balanced wait that people would put in the base about
sailing vessel to keep it feel down in the restive upright
their their Pallister make mean cause the important clause
to make clear what's being communicated
one more twist and then we get to go to break out ash
I'm now I am NOT saying that structure is 100 percent
and words r0 okay
if you have a strong enough word it can carry the day
for instance try the sentence although France a nice guy
he commit genocide
now I would guess yeah ask you to judge Fredd
we're going to get a hundred percent thumbs down on Fred
I is not a matter where we want them it wouldn't send in you will be universal
in your condemnation of red your nap but here's an interesting thing we're gonna
impact this
what happens in those situations isn't that the word carries the reader
the readers judgment about the substance
but it reflects on you the it changes the way the reader charges the writer
so let me just unpack we just a minute in slow motion and that you know
this is a to just wanna hear how that something simple so bear with me
sort of although all what
although save you beginning the sentence
that that's something you're going to support a clause with me that we expect
every sentence have a main cause
to tell the main story but this sentence begins with good morning readers
I am they are you were waiting for the main cause I am the although clause
I'm gonna try along for a while and tell you something after which you will find
what you were looking for the main clause which is going to undo everything
I just did
right that is that women although says to reader every time you see the
beginning of a sentence
and if that's what the sentence does your fine act-up although this is the
although clause good morning
Fred this is a sentence about Fred Fred story
we were there yesterday it's Fred story right what is Fred story
years overdue label Fred when his friend
a nice guy stop there
right Fred a nice guy
with a little bit shadow behind because fred is shown up in all though cause
and we know something happen in the next thank you of
but he has bad breath many dresses only
yeah something something is gonna mess up Press
before the sentences out okay
here we go main clause he with still about Fred
comments once you complete
adultery tax fraud you know you know it's bad
how bad genocide well the whole thing blows up
okay now let's change the structure
has changed the structure although this is the although clause will be
overturned by the main cause
fred's first story tell me about Fred come it's what
strike amid genocide
and E you're laughing because the mine says
I understand all those words but I do not understand that thought what a great
all well fred commit genocide ok
the instructions are to overturn this statement with something in the main
clause and I don't get it
and if you stumble onto the end the main cause he's a nice guy
right this is not that nice guy anymore is that it some other
cut no sarcastic or sardonic so
the longer story that we will get readers really nearly through time and
they make judgments as they go
and they met and so is the order matters here
okay let me give you your charge is actually good time to start
handing out the second page I've yeah I have a second hand well
thank you okay compliments are putting you
what so so this business how do you think no
not only I do with not only information but that judgment on that information
this is something we do all the time and not just as anybody who's a position
valuating
data people performance institutions
thank and then being responsible for communicating that judgment
is in this business it's called being a professional
professionals a pool to make judgments and to stand by them
okay yes just one has to work but they were is this two-page is coming because
they're two different head up don't worry
NIH what they were faced with constantly was having to tell
the guys upstairs who made the funding decisions and
the principal investigator who wrote the grant what the judgment was on the grant
and for most great while there were some grants that were so beautiful and so
wonderful and so clearly going to work
that there's nothing bad to say about them and there were also some grants
that were
like so badly put together are so ridiculous or so
no out there that they were never going to work in there is nothing good to say
about them
everybody else
had good news and bad news right
and NIH with with struggling with how do we spread that out how we not only say
this is the good news and its is the bad news but how we'll waive those
against one
and because most ever structure is invisible rhetoric we don't notice it
and so it made it does things to us and we are not conscious
other except now you're starting to think structure and see what it does
they didn't know how to do this so let me give you a few examples
up this what they had and I'm gonna put you into groups to
rewrite some examples that you have to turn pale on the original and
corrupt example member to
okay Eureka
and I want to imagine that this is your proposal
your the PI and this is the judgment that come back
this overall scope though it might prove to be overly ambitious
is a great conceptual strengthen the proposal
how you feeling pretty good point well hey things are looking at why
so now let's analyze bad judgment why are you feeling so
positive
okay so whether the 71 but
and placement okay the end in the senate gray conceptual strengthen the proposal
will go that's really nice
what else is telling you to be happy main club the main clause says this
overall scope is a great conceptual strength
nose is a little bit of an aside as we have mentioned yet but where's the bad
news
in the Netherlands between the subject in the Bourbon the main clause
and I know another the american Sign this article I wrote twenty years ago
make the rounds economy now that's something we talk about a lot in that
article
the position between the subject in the Burg is a place that
some have a lot of attention available so they try to skip it
and so this reads as this overall scope it might prove to be overly ambitious
don't pay any attention to that
is a great example strength the proposal
anyway I think our isn't this the words no look at be
although this overall scope is a great conceptual string for the proposal
my proved to be overly ambitious how you doing
you're gone right you are gone you are
in this funding climate you will not get anywhere it's not
the word its stuff structure
take a look at another one three this is an exciting
but somewhat lot application from a creative investigator
how you do n
cell now this is this when I love because it's so
it such a POS +1 310 until you take it apart how many pieces the good news are
there in that sentence
to you are a creative investigator
and the proposal is exciting how many pieces a bad news
one its flawed now is it grossly flawed
is it irrevocably flawed now it's just somewhat flotsam
weird right we got two pieces a good news
and without one not so bad bad news be even feeling in your stomach
I this is not working something's wrong
so what's wrong what's doing that
what no not the flock the answer to all my quizzes should you ever need me again
is always
structure structure okay which is
just know that alright what in this what's at the end of the sentence
creative investigator that's good news but would you really like
emphasized the most in this sentence exciting application
because have to tell me that I'm creative in the application is
that they've been applications exciting and is flawed
and I want to emphasize that you're really creative
you can already feel and this application is in big trouble
if the wrong good news
at the end of the sentence
so let's look at another version me actually I'll ask you ask you to pick
for ten you are NIH
you our study section there are 30 you represent the thirty-six people around
the table
here's funding somewhere around nine percent
here's fifty percent where would you put a
6 yeah not me somewhere in the middle here my
bike and maybe there and I would say would be carabar like the next sentence
this have a little confused in an extended my turn it around but BL
we're not doing very well okay let's look at the next one be
this creative investigator has produced an exciting but somewhat flawed
application
the message is a locklear right what's the message
the flaw is a problem so we doing better or worse than a
worse but with very little aramark right so you know there's no
we may be somewhere in here
but we're not you know I'm not sure we'd ever get up there here but it's a little
as a lot of variability now it's pricey this creative investigator has produced
a somewhat flawed but exciting
application how you doing
okay are we in the money now
now cuz plot hey flaw these days is flawed you're just not going to do it
okay and I was before sequester com
well let's try deep whether white had how do we get to see
because the and the emphasis at the end is on the exciting application and the
flaw
is married in the middle frustrating
this is this creative investigator has produced a somewhat flawed but truly
exciting
application
how you doing a little better are you in the money
no study section likes you and if there's any way to get you in the money
they want them to do that
right you as a PI you know that they're in favor of your work you just have to
clean up the flaw and they'll be happy to find you an upstairs maybe look but
UN
so d get help not in the money but closer
why why
truly okay what's truly doing
s got it's a semantic cue it says the truth is exciting
and we were it's also balancing the know that that we were slightly and now we're
really
what else is truly doing my
because in order to minimize the fall
we had to have more words somewhat
plot that better than flawed but if more attention to flaw
somewhat flawed but exciting
somewhat flawed but mean exciting
your right and
three syllables would be even better somewhat flawed
but you exciting
yeah okay week week of stuff you don't have to be a poet
in fact I think scientists have the kind of sensitivity to leverage the power
with have because our
experts so short are astute just a couple more than a minute give you your
charges
you're gonna do this as you can do it now you wake up
see I to risk it for a skit that when let's take a look at number five
yes while the hypothesis from this highly qualified investigator is novel
stop there
how are we doing low boy is it sounded like good news except novel is one of
those like
innovation lovely better with innovative will be smiling but novel
is the version in a nation that says we don't like what you're doing even though
it seems to be no
okay and it's a subordinate clause so whatever is happening up here
is going to be overturned by the main cause to the sound like good news but
it's good news that make that goal
I'm not so sure here comes the main clause the rationale is poorly justified
who the study black the input other expert in epidemiology
who end a more similar approach should be used
first to assess the validity in the primary hypothesis with preliminary data
and reduction in cost
and make to the experimental subjects
how are we doing we r head we are
and this is like do not we said not
this not in this form
we got a main clause we've got we've got the main clause
at the and we've got all the slang we've got three main causes
and they keep repeating and what's the last word
risk to experimental subjects
this is a crash and burn okay
so here's your sign want and in can have well in a little bit and pieces I want
you to find
no war than four people to work with
to introduce yourself to the people around you and what I'm gonna do with
I'm gonna give
each group a maximum five and Billy I don't make it more than five because
it's too easy to coast
if you get the group to watch you will sit and listen and you have to
participate
what up with came around on the set and the handout that the why I'm not to take
away one but the other one is a bunch of sentences mostly from NIH but not
entirely
and I'm gonna give each group to sentences
to rewrite so let me give you the charging you can get into groups and
I'll tell you which has to work on and it doesn't matter been up with that the
longer covered
your instructions as as aid group to revise your sentences
each one twice one
to make the judgment on these facts more favorable
once to make the judgment on the same fax
the data are going to stay the same more naked
so I want you to do that by varying
not structure which causes at the end
what information's in the main cause what information's in the n claws
how much length do you have you know is a I what are you repeating what get if
you repeat anything
I don't want you to invent
new words to change you you have to change the words as you move things
around it is not you can change the words at all
I contact controls meaning so you can always change how we interpret this by
telling us all the other things
no one to do that I want you to discover what structure does for you because one
of the things that will come out of this
this experience is that we tend to recognize structural problems
in our got and then try to solve them by throwing words at them
and words cannot undue a problem structure
yeah
I'll
but that structure
I'll know what
great
yep plot and right now ok
we're going to be I'm do you want to be really close
they were illegal because flies one of these things is hard to get under these
days if you're flawed
these getting as close as we can get given that there is a flaw
as always as most favorable watch I don't use the word circus watch what
happens I
and thank you cuz I forgot to do this little twist you you feel like it's
truly in the trolleys the thing with pushing it up for the flaws doing it
let's drop truly into all
okay member a I'm now on
this is a truly exciting but somewhat flawed application from a creative
investigator
it just sounding coherent now right you like I don't know the
that guy and I G vacation the sentence doesn't make any sense
how can the application be truly exciting and somewhat flawed
at it whereas with the we can see what they're pushing it up
they can make the flood away
after so yet no know you work with
still know if not you can you cannot do it's not that you cannot do anything
with structure
we moved to the judgment all over the place you can't get it
funded with flaw thank you okay cell
that's that's part of the charge of the sentence you're working with
once you make all the structural changes that you can
still is just you can't get it to be positive or you can't get it to be
negative
because the word are so powerful if you have the scientific equivalent genocide
which flaw these days might be okay I
now that we just we just can't get through anymore
then you can change that word
but I want you to not start by changing the words are instinct is to go
and to change the words and you you put different words in the same structure
you will deliver the same message accept it will get less coherent
so that's the chart would you please 100000 no more than
my problem going meta to talk to what we did
and why it works because party what we did is you're not imagining readers have
all around you
its traders tell you what they thought and would you agree
immediately Noel no that's really
really useful okay so I go through these and wanna do is that I'm gonna read the
original sentence with every girls only look at
a couple of them and I'm and sometimes get a little commentary on and then
asked for the revisions and ask for
somebody who had six give me a positive some to give me a negative
what happens sometimes we'll see is why when we 15 four minutes to do it given
the size of the room
is that somehow we had more or less the same thing yeah
we don't want to hear more or less if everything exactly the same words
then we'll skip you but if you had a slightly different version
for your positive then let's listen to that because we're gonna evaluate
is the are the positives in the more positive than the original
and we have for positives do we can we see any pattern Eric we learn anything
from the variations in that as well
okay ready here we go percent
6 this current research effort by this investigator has been in progress now
for more than six years
stop there with that good news or bad news
it's hard to headset you know I and
at the engineers around as I like six years i mean relay
yeah where is that when I have the venture capital
have gone elsewhere home
then just so if that feel neutral at best now I want to point this out
because
one of the hardest things for readers to do is to
on do a judgment that they've made
so we get that first cause and it what color is the main cause right
with the main point and the main point we think is neutral at best and maybe
negative
mean on word bad okay here comes the qualifier
unfortunately 0 what we just learn
that that was the good news in this is I
so this isn't fence right what
leaders are reading it and that looks neutral the best thing you can you'll
see the guys that worked on number six were like
where's the good news ok where but but we
what we heart reluctant to reinterpret
and this is a longer conversation about trying to get default
first interpretation to be the one that you want to read it really you're
interpreting they're working hard
you don't wanna be the second interpretation
the second reading they won't get there okay
but unfortunately the productivity at the many studies has been disappointing
and I everybody was working on this site all had to think human
Genome Project or mapping the mouse brain I think that's actually what I was
no one at least ten or twelve your projects
and we're in year 6 and this is true okay something in me I'm
more positive version up six
thanks
new yeah same fax
much more positive so now many studies is is something they were advertising oh
yeah they're really busy aren't they
and six years yeah what's the structural change in it
this crew made the change the order to cause its value to the front the main
causes early you put it at the end
by starting with subordinate clause with despite somebody else made it more
positive
okay
okay now is that more positive than the original
lol that because the emplacement on been in progress for more than 60
why are we you reckon with wire we ambivalent about
that
nope nope you get into the words what's the structure
yes
you kept the butts you kept the ambivalence structure
a main cause early and placement subordinate clause
and because there's a flight emphasis people are will more inclined to
emphasize what
at the end even if its subordinate this years more positive than the original
but we want to go even more positive all vo
the diff productivity many studies has been disappointing
they've been at it now for more than six years okay and now we think you know his
whereabouts
here but they no that time we had to save the human genome project
much are 707 which he had would you rate which is again thank you
yet
yeah so what you've done lovely
change the order of the information so the the good news is that the
and but you didn't change the order the structure other two causes
and so that and you have that makes a difference so
we've got credit missus why this and I it really found this useful because you
can start to spread people out
yeah you always have
are you always defending yeah
okay right now I wanna flag this though because
think that we're not again we're not gonna go much in to write a process for
his readers to think about how we write
which cause I you like me to write first the main cause right
and the positive for the closet you want to emphasize most
this is really good although there is this problem
this is really horrible although I guess we could consider it this way
here how where we're going to spontaneously probably produce
the ambulance structure when
we think we're communicating a strong message one way or the other
so yeah and and %um you will see that it that this is where people get hung up
then you might find it you might need to change the you actually do mostly wanna
say
well this is what I think that you've been using a structured is not letting
you
as much okay how to make a more negative whether
fun making all these little more negative I
while shopping for yeah okay somebody another group we haven't heard from
your yeah
itself we're not even get work great with that despite despite his different
from although
because the despite says hey we're pushing again if subordinated and
pushing way
you got rid of the Qualls is no worries that despite six years a research effort
support main cause weighs more than subordinate clause
clause me it weighs more than phrase
that structure we know this
in our bones but I've got it in you know conscious part some emails with the
negative
yep okay so it structure makes a difference there
now all these are playing
one against the other one more usable the closest to do this this research
paper by this investigator has been in progress now for more than six years
a hand a proper
the productivity and the many studies has been disappointing I
yeah yeah I get much more negative we lost the good news we lost the
we've lost the two squads is that our balance in each other and contradicting
each other
look at the sound board you control the levers we've
ther on Poinciana Way
those returns haven't been a partner for more than six years and if somebody told
me several years ago
Press still be his dog in
okay let's get number seven
overall however this proposal a scientifically sound but there is no
innovation
I mean how many reversals can you do in a in at nine word sentence however is
reversing the previous sentence
by saying yes I did we found that reverses itself and you really do want
to send the SRA on vacation
so I did ship have a group that made this more positive try have a back here
okay
another group that's more positive yep oh marvelous now let's compare those two
they're both much more positive
is there a difference between them which one do you think
which one is the most positive the second one why
because not only is the No innovation subordinated but it showed in that
position between the subject in the burbs says don't pay any attention to me
yep
what where the so
that and that's in the american scientist are going to
I'm actually not but I don't make a rule so readers
to expect the subject to be followed immediately by the verb
and they would like to put the two of them together because thats structure
anything between something for will be read
with less attention and less given less important
it's not a good place to put a lot a complicated information
but it's a wonderful place to parenthetical say
oh yeah and the way I think this one there are three people around the table
this was a great proposal everybody was really happy and that's it
you know I'm a little concerned about the productivity in the SRA thought okay
now I have to write something about productivity and everybody else at the
table roll their eyes
how and the SRA got yeah okay productivity
has to get mentioned in a place where you won't pay much attention to it
because that would separate the subject in the burbs is alive when leaders have
no
energy to process it so it
if you put burst at the end of your sentences with long sentences before
then
we can make sense of them but that's different from
had a chance to say this yet I have one rule for talking about writing
hey we are doing a pistol ology were making truth claims were trying to tell
the stories
are things they cannot speak for themselves we have to pay attention and
that will be
and that I think is more important than making your English teacher whoever it
was
happy with your sentence so I don't want to turn I want to turn it into rules the
rules will fail
they will fail if we had more time I could give you
a set of expectations they contradict one another and you take
what do I do to get it right you get it its why
it's delivering the message you want
to send to the majority up your readers
okay let's make so anybody wanna know we had to positive anybody have not given
positive
that push that a little further I think you guys did on innovation
okay but outweigh what I've heard is no innovation
yeah and did you the guys I work with us to do feel like no innovation was a
problem
yet we gotta you had like not terribly innovative
not as innovative as it could be where there's not much innovation
no innovation is what what why we reading this okay
how to make your negative
yeah down here
we don't right dollars I didn't sound there's no innovation great honor to the
next proposal
with it as for its really clear that the innovation is the issue
main closet the end it all works okay let's take a look at the next one
11 do want to let you go I it's for pup
number 84 publications have been produced in the last funding period
but they are not focused on the three specific aims in the previous proposal
no I think this one pretty ambivalent in its original and I think that was true
study section was struggling
you know really productive back with the same grant
how did you make it more positive some who worked on this
I way to start within the last month that more positive
even though not focused for publication producing less money hurt somebody else
okay so this is taking bad news in subordinating in the middle a sentence
also positive
somebody else
okay
so get you get this this idea taking much if you wanna
sway one way or the other subordinate the information
that we want to de-emphasize open up space for the main possibly and the
information you want to emphasize
which word would you like to emphasize most for publications
so wanna give you another variation on this he gets into other issues but we
didn't talk
are although they did not focus on the three specific aims to the previous
proposal
in the last funding period the investigators produced for publications
it's the same or it's right it's the same words but we ended on the four
publications that have
in the last funding period alright less
have a make you more negative more negative something about that
sometimes I mean it set eight for negative I'm
Cape
yeah even know them for publication
reduce they were not focus on the specific games that the problem
I mean it clear that study section things that the problem you might not
agree with them
with either the PI but you but you know what they think somebody else with a
negative
thank you
okay
so you got the in the last month in the last one period out
makes a and kept the structure that's here because you've got a main cause
early
and then a sport because at the end so change but even getting that in the last
month period out
up front that helps too making a little money okay
cool let's take a look at nine a theory that in all the rivers have been
reported to be melatonin antagonise
although information on the method used for such classification is not provided
sorta like well what we gonna do with this fact
I don't know all and if you think I let my job I'm not supposed to make
judgments here just this is what I've
that's not what you pay for
okay about in gum coming how to make a more positive company
we have this one up
okay three return to like this structure and i wanna hide something and put it
between
and it might be too what you can hear how it is starting to get laundry
employment hiding in September maybe 150 now
with Devlin worst definitely stronger somebody else coming up with have yep
okay
okay good see that it to play with mind as well as structure
who
rules so note we've got to Clause we've got to work here one is reported in 10
classification
I'm recording sounds like you know they've reported something but we don't
believe them
although there's nothing about the method a series and
have in other areas have been classified as this were much less suspicious as a
different purpose lovely
have a make you more negative someone
thank you
yep I think well it's not that different but you can hear that
that there's a problem that you didn't provide I'm labeling that negative by
putting in that position
and if I'm even study section or something else you can talk to me unless
you give me
itself this is this is what are the problems let's look at 10 this is a very
short application
with little experimental detail by two new investigators
who are very well trained in mouse genetics and destruction was a funny
sentence
it is have a make you more positive
okay so are subordinated the preferred if it's a sign the problem isn't sure
with little detail subordinate clause early
main clause they're very well-trained in mouse genetics for anybody else have
something
if remarkably different from that yeah okay you can hear
right your I can knowing all nodding been a great two hours you hear things
you can see even you can control them
fabulous have a negative well I've heard you
emails with negative yeah I know this is the organizer have no
to work yeah who
right that the punch as a punch they sell you know
all bow you're really smart a very well-trained
your application is ridiculous
your okay now context controls meaning
so we're going back to the question for you know and so we're looking ascended
and isolation because I asked you to be too I want to play with the structure
and within that we had enough contact you think about NIH to play with that
structure
I can make number ten 8 terrible sentence without changing a single word
ready I'm gonna give you the context
what do you suppose was the subject of this grant application
mouse genetics right you can see the emphasis is on their very well-trained
in mouse genetics we there yet mouse genetics role
yes what out to be true what was the application on
human genetics how are they doing
had not so good they were in the nineteen
99 percentile okay and that's how I found that this is a brilliant so the
last wish to
you say you know what do people know yes they know this does this sentence sound
like a 99 percentile
sentence there's no shame in that is very sure the experimental its own
black yeah its only hear the PRI
and you know the you're very well that your that you are
that that the projects on human genetics and the cop emphasis is on mouse
genetics
at that moment you know what happened and i think is a covert message in here
that says hey nice guys we know who you are
you come from really good laugh we expect good things have you
and we know you're smart but you have done the classic
newbie mistake you have written a proposal
out a field without sufficient experimental details
justified and rather than excoriating them because they think
no you're really smart you're gonna get it as soon as you show this to anybody
in clearly didn't show it to anyone
to use and up okay
rather than say all you idiots they say hey
here's the thing here's the score and now you know what the problem is what
as what's the implicit instruction elaborate
you've got room resubmit and what will the when this
a implicit not guarantee but almost a promise here that says
when you re summit what will study section right
this application is dramatically improved
over the first the nation and is very talented investigators and if you
actually got the story
you're gonna go for I'm not now you might feel uncomfortable
that asking you to make up stories about your data you're tied to your data
and I'm gonna trust that your faithful to your day
but you Dana don't speak they have
they cannot speak you have to go figure out
what do you believe you are allowed to claim
on the basis of these data that's number one
you must choose their is no neutral sentence
every sentence ends instructions and the instructions are
I have no instructions then the message it and I'm incompetent don't listen to
me
K you i mean expert you getting PHA
or master's degree okay that's
you're being paid for expertise you must make up your mind
what you think you must communicate that to yourself and others clearly
and then what you all did here so beautifully
you have to listen to what your readers
saying there will be arguments
sciences contentious it's difficult
we feel the same thing and we interpreted differently
I want those arguments to be about the substance
and we can argue about the substance if the structure fails to transmit that
substance clearly to us
that your job you need you need to decide what your fax
are and then speak for them
that's whether you're talking to your other scientists but especially
when you are talking to everyone else okay
the more you listen to readers you'll see in my takeaways my things
listen to readers they are always right the reasons they give you for what they
think to listen to the house
okay because they don't have unless they have been my anything else feel sort of
neutral amid
what they say why are they saying that being structured a whelping structure
nothing structure change the structure and then ask the readers: this better
not say yeah
he's just a friend of mine is a mystery science professor ratings if there were
three sentences if you thought I was magic
because I there are three sentences where I could see ambivalence everything
around it suggested that she was not able to train that runs in Franklin
streaming by Jim Watson I don't think you sampled I come
but all the sentences were ambivalent I said do you mean this
and we quickly did fred is driving she said know and I knew you know sentences
were bothering me
and no matter what words I put in them they stayed
they stayed troublesome right because the words
can't change structure
crate you've done a nice piece of work thank you all very much
here
presently
and I'm happy to take questions I just it is 703 and some here
have your rumbling stomach anybody who needs to clear out here to do so I'm
happy to talk to answer questions that have anything left in the back to you
rabbit on your way out there also but doubt from outside
check out our web I mentioned earlier
work coming up
it was fun I by me this right with the right one with right wing tip
I'm with one with
of
def