there are so many things i regret in my
life
i regret eating all that ice cream just
before my period started last week
call me stupid but i also really wish i
had finished the chocolate i took in bed
last night
right now however i have an entirely
different regret
it is not greeting sarah on my first day
in high school
don't let her name fool you she is not
angelic
she had just tripped a kid when she came
over and said to me
hey my name is sarah i see you're new
if you ever want to have a boyfriend or
boyfriend or want to be popular around
here
then you should be begging to be my
friend how do you get behind that kind
of subtle threat
naturally i only stared at her for a few
seconds before passing her
a lot of people burst into laughter i
don't think she's
ever forgiven the fact that i
practically humiliated her
a piece of paper hitting my forehead
brings me back to the real world
i know who just threw that paper sarah i
know i should be calm and all
especially since she's the one who
landed us at principal taylor's office
in the first place
but all i can think about is how i am at
the principal's office on a monday
afternoon
i open my mouth to give her a piece of
my mind when the door flies open and
principal taylor walks right out
come on in she says i am way too nervous
to do anything but nod
but sarah mutters a yes ma'am before
following
that suck-up half an hour later we come
out of the office
i wish the floor could swallow me up i
got detention
again how many times am i going to get
detention
this girl is going to shatter my record
completely
at this rate i will never ever get into
any
ivy league sarah ignores the scowl on my
face and says
she will see me in detention tomorrow
then she prances away
when i get home my dad's car is not in
the garage so i open the door with my
key and let myself in
i switch on the lights and almost jump
out of my skin
my dad is sitting on the couch in the
living room you almost scared me dad
i yell waiting for him to smile but he
doesn't
i wait for him to say something anything
but he
but he when i start to go to my room he speaks
when i start to go to my room he speaks
i am not okay
your school called again just how many
detentions do you plan on getting summer
he grades out he takes another look at
me and asks me to tell him what happened
this time
it really wasn't my fault dad i promise
it's just
sarah has had it out for me since the
beginning of the year
oh yeah i wouldn't have guessed he
muttered his voice
thick with sarcasm i smile and continue
it was during our last class she threw a
piece of paper at me when i was painting
i knew she was the one so i wasn't
bothered
but she continued and people couldn't
stop laughing
she was about to throw another one when
the teacher came to see what was going
on
and she saw all those papers around me
on the floor naturally
she assumed that we had been passing
notes and sent us to the principal's
office
sarah had really gone out of her way to
make me a social outcast
she had done so many things she started
a food fight in the cafeteria
got spaghetti in my hair and somehow got
me sent to the principal's office with
her
she stole my clothes when i was in the
shower after gym class
you don't want to know how that story
ended she's made me trip on the floor so
many times
it's no wonder the other kids don't like
me i must be this stupid new girl
i make a face and dad laughs when i tell
him that i
hate her very much since we are done
with that conversation
we start to talk about what we should
have for dinner it is never an easy
decision for us
while other families have moms to help
with decisions
we don't most girls got to have their
first period conversations with their
mom
but i had mine with my dad talk about
awkward
it has always been just dad and i i'm
not complaining though
i know dad gives me all the love he can
the love
the love couldn't give dad and mom were dating
couldn't give dad and mom were dating
when she got pregnant
she wasn't ready to have a baby so when
the pregnancy was over
and she finally had me she hightailed it
out of our lives
faster than you can say jack maybe
because i don't have any memories of her
her absence doesn't hurt as much as it
should when we finally decide on dinner
i head upstairs to freshen up later in
the evening i make dinner with dad
and i ask him why his car wasn't outside
when i came
he chuckled slightly brad and i drove
home together
he was going to stay for dinner but he
had to go due to some
work emergencies he took my car and
we'll return it to the salon tomorrow
i'm not an understanding you're
wondering who brad is
calm down remember how i said there's no
mom
for a very long time dad didn't date i
knew
that at some point he was finally going
to start dating again
but i didn't expect him to introduce a
boyfriend to me
naturally i thought the world had gone
crazy my dad could not be straight one
day
and turn gay the next summer i am
bisexual
he said like he was talking about the
weather i kid you not
it took me a while to get used to it but
i am okay now
brat is actually not bad pretty laid
back they met at dad's salon
and that's all i wanna know we finish
dinner
and i leave my dad in the living room
trying out braids on his doll
yes you heard that right a very big doll
what he's a hair stylist he has to
experiment
i tell him goodnight and head up to my
room then i pick up my phone and dial my
best friend's number
when she finally picks up i tell her to
open up her window
the window facing me from the house next
door opens up
and we both wave yes my best friend is
my neighbor
how cool is that unfortunately we don't
go to the same school anymore
some things happened at our old school
and i just
really had to transfer no you don't have
to know what
ever since i started at my new school i
have kept her updated about how much
trouble sarah is giving me
we never mention her name we just call
her pg
short for pretty girl so when she asks
me about my day
i tell her about what sarah did to me
again ali
sighs in anger and tells me that we need
to put a stop to all of this drama
i tell her there's nothing i can do and
that's when ally tells
me about her plan the next morning at
school i start to dig up something solid
against sarah
ally thinks if i have something to use
against sarah she'll stop messing with
me
i go from class to class without seeing
her figures
the one day i need her she's nowhere to
be found when classes are over
all i want to do is go home and sleep
that's when i realize
i have to be in detention i go into the
study hall
no sarah time passes and detention is
almost over
and she doesn't show up i am getting
angry
she lands me in detention but she
doesn't even show up
i excuse myself to use the toilet on my
way back to the
way back to the i hear something scraping against
i hear something scraping against
lockers i peep around the corner and see
red hair
that's how i know it's sarah i'm about
to sneak up on her
when i see some other random guy she is
kissing this
random guy in school i see this as an
opportunity and pull
out my phone then i put on the camera
and take
many clear shots the guy doesn't go to
our school
so i'm not worried about him when i'm
done i clear my throat
and they scramble apart she gives me the
stink eye and pulls the guy along with
her
and they go wherever when i get home i
call
ally and tell her i have pictures she
seems
thoroughly excited then she tells me
she's coming over with a friend from
she's coming over with a friend from swimming class tomorrow
swimming class tomorrow
it's time to get revenge when i get to
school the next morning
i see sarah at the entrance her eyes
zero in on me and she
marches up to me the first question out
of her mouth is
what did you see i feign innocence and
tell her i don't know what she means
good she says and you had better not
open your mouth
if you know what's good for you she
flips her hair and turns to walk away
this sparks anger in me and i retort i
don't have to talk
no one would believe me anyway but they
will believe the pictures i have with me
she stops in shock and i smirk at her
and walk into the school who's the
winner now
me one sarah zero i know she's worried
because
our school is unlike other schools where
students are allowed to be free
the limit is hugging the opposite sex if
you're caught kissing in school or doing
other stuff
it's trouble if i take this picture to
the principal
sarah knows she's in for it when she
doesn't confront me for the rest of the
day
i am on cloud nine when i get home
dad's not around i am way too tired to
cook so
i order pizza i am eating pizza and
watching my story animated when ally and
this
mystery friend arrive ally steps in
first and i smile
then the smile on my face falls when i
see who the second person is
it's sarah several awkward moments later
we are all sitting down while ali tries
to understand what's going on
she seems genuinely confused and i
realize that i should have told her
sarah's name
but we've always had a thing for
acronyms she had started swimming
classes a month ago
and she told me she had made so many
friends she must feel
really bad knowing she's friends with
her best friend's enemy
sarah on the other hand doesn't look
freaked out she tells ally there is no
way
any revenge is happening here especially
not when it's against her
then she asks to see the pictures i've
claimed to have taken
i reluctantly hand over my phone to ally
who in turn
holds it up to show the pictures to
sarah we hear someone fumbling with the
door
and my dad comes in with brad holding
onto his waist
hi sweetie he says smiling brightly hey
dad
i say ally turns to say hi and sarah
takes advantage of our distraction and
yanks my phone away we try to get my
phone but she doesn't let go of it
everything is happening so fast one
moment we are grabbing on to her
the next moment she lets go of it and it
falls to the ground
when we pick up the phone we see that
she's deleted the pictures
dad and brad look like they would rather
not get involved in what's going on
so they tell me they're going upstairs
to see a movie as they head upstairs
sarah stares after them and i can see
her mind working fast
once they're upstairs i heave a sigh of
relief
if they had stayed any longer sarah
might have figured something out
i might be okay with other people
knowing my dad is bisexual
but not sarah she will find a way to
twist everything
from upstairs brad shouts summer you
should come give your dad a hug for me
we had a wonderful date a glance at
sarah's face tells me
she has figured it all out with a snare
on her face
she asks if my dad is gay of course i
say no and she tells me that brad just
confirmed that they went on a date
i don't say anything except he's
bisexual and she knows
she is one i am at her mercy right now i
have no pictures
again it was really stupid to hand over
the phone
she can do anything she wants to do
right now because
she has the upper hand then ally drags
her off to the side and whispers
something to her
moments later they break apart and sarah
says
they just made a deal she considers ali
a friend
so she'll be nice i don't even know what
to feel
all i have to do is do a dare she tells
me to do
if i do it she won't mention that my dad
likes men
and she'll stop messing with me
basically no more teasing
the idea of a torture free high school
appeals to me
and i say yes she starts to think about
what to tell me
when her eyes fall on the doll sitting
on one of the chairs
she looks at me with a mischievous smile
i want you to call that doll
mom i almost choke the doll
you want me to call the doll my dad
practices hair on
my mom she smiles coolly and replies
that's even better i want you to call
your dad's doll
mom at lunch tomorrow in school make it
loud and clear
if you don't do it i am going to make
your dad's nature
seem worse than it is you think you've
had it bad
it will be worse when i'm through with
you then
she sashays out of my house ally looks
shocked and repeatedly apologizes to me
i tell her it's not her fault she didn't
know who sarah was
so it's okay some minutes later ally
leaves for her house
and i hug her good night through the
night i turn and toss
trying to decide what to do if i tell
her no
she'll make my life worse and people
will stay away from me
if i tell her yes people will think i'm
weird and they might not talk to me
but she will stop bothering me when i
get to school the next day
i have my mind made up it's one thing to
mess with me
but threatening me with my dad's
romantic preference is just another low
my backpack feels heavier than usual and
i know it's because of the doll
during lunch sarah passes by me to her
seat
she snaps her fingers and i take it as a
signal
the nerves start to hit so i don't think
i just do if i'm going to give them a
show i might as well make it worth it
so i get the doll out and climb onto the
lunch table
i stamp my feet a few times to get
people's attention
and they turn to stare and i yell out hi
everyone
i have someone here allow me to
introduce my mom to you
i raise the doll higher for everyone to
see i call her mom
this is my mom i hug the doll closer and
start to climb down
some people looked confused others
looked alarmed
and others look like they want to burst
into laughter
i look over at sarah to see if she's
gloating but she looks angry
i realize why when i hear some people
clap
and burst into laughter sarah did not
expect this reaction
neither did i i'm on my way to having a
fairly normal high school life