1 00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:05,867 Here! 2 00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:07,746 [bleep]. 3 00:00:07,829 --> 00:00:09,414 What are you doing? Come on. 4 00:00:09,497 --> 00:00:10,875 I'm coming. 5 00:00:11,549 --> 00:00:13,334 Again? 6 00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:14,335 Stay where you are. 7 00:00:14,418 --> 00:00:16,062 What are you doing? 8 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,333 Stop! Thank you. 9 00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:21,445 You're not unlocking it! 10 00:00:21,528 --> 00:00:23,432 We're doing it at the same time is the problem. 11 00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:25,468 - Unlock the door! - No! 12 00:00:25,666 --> 00:00:26,592 Now! 13 00:00:26,675 --> 00:00:27,468 [bleep]. 14 00:00:27,551 --> 00:00:28,853 Stop touching it while I do the lock! 15 00:00:28,936 --> 00:00:31,272 - What do you want me to do? - Just do it now. 16 00:00:31,355 --> 00:00:32,473 - Are you... - Unbelievable! 17 00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:34,275 - Kidding me? - Stop it and reset. 18 00:00:34,358 --> 00:00:35,977 - Put it down. - I'm just holding it. 19 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,695 - Take your hand off the thing! - It is on the thing. 20 00:00:37,778 --> 00:00:39,648 I got to reset the thing. Look-- Look at this. 21 00:00:39,731 --> 00:00:41,968 Huh? Huh? Nothing happens if you're holding it up. 22 00:00:42,052 --> 00:00:44,138 Everybody knows not to do that 23 00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:45,869 'cause now it's all jiggered in the middle. 24 00:00:45,953 --> 00:00:47,538 It got all jiggered in the middle now! 25 00:00:47,621 --> 00:00:49,157 Aah! What? 26 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,984 Take your hand away from the door completely. 27 00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,853 Thank you. 28 00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:55,962 Oh, that's rich! 29 00:00:56,046 --> 00:00:57,415 You are gonna get-- 30 00:00:57,498 --> 00:00:58,466 - Drop your weapon. - What happened? 31 00:00:58,549 --> 00:00:59,668 What happened, though? 32 00:00:59,751 --> 00:01:00,664 What happened? I don't know what happened. 33 00:01:04,089 --> 00:01:06,799 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:16,287 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 35 00:01:16,371 --> 00:01:18,031 Resync WEB-DL by LeRalouf 36 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,838 - I'll throw out a topic. - You're gonna throw out 37 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,423 - a topic? Let's talk about it. - Have you seen an alien? 38 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,071 Have I seen an alien? 39 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,844 I did see-- 40 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,096 "No" is a perfectly fine answer for the-- 41 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,132 I did-- Okay. Well, here's the thing. 42 00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:39,384 Can there be subterranean aliens? 43 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:40,551 There can't be, right? 44 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:41,846 'Cause they have to come from space. 45 00:01:41,929 --> 00:01:42,867 Story, please. 46 00:01:42,951 --> 00:01:44,922 When I was a kid, I saw a-- 47 00:01:45,536 --> 00:01:47,641 I was in Canada with my friends, 48 00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:48,976 And there was-- we were-- 49 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:51,061 there was a hole in the backyard of this one guy's house 50 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,814 that we were hanging out at, and the hole was like-- it was-- 51 00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,533 there was a fissure like this in the ground, 52 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,951 and there was a heap of dirt in the middle, 53 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,661 and the heap of dirt was like scoot, scoot, scoot. 54 00:01:58,744 --> 00:01:59,703 It just went like that. 55 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,372 - And we ran away. - How big? 56 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,957 I mean, like-- I can't. 57 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,459 Hold on, like-- like this. 58 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,878 You're talking about a hedgehog and [bleep]. 59 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,214 How did you go from alien 60 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,504 to telling me a story about a [bleep] hedgehog? 61 00:02:12,587 --> 00:02:14,552 We-- Hey, we never-- we never saw it, so who knows-- 62 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,420 He said, "subterranean aliens." 63 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,504 Come on, Jack. 64 00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:30,834 Wait, wait. 65 00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:34,256 We got to be careful here. 66 00:02:34,457 --> 00:02:36,685 This place is crawling with them. 67 00:02:37,646 --> 00:02:39,732 - What was that? - What? 68 00:02:39,848 --> 00:02:41,209 Cover me. 69 00:02:47,236 --> 00:02:49,274 Guys! Hey, guys! 70 00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:52,024 Hey, guys. Oh, thank God. 71 00:02:52,178 --> 00:02:54,599 Hey, we started a community of survivors. 72 00:02:54,745 --> 00:02:56,495 Y'all come live with us. 73 00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:10,893 Wait. How did you know? 74 00:03:12,145 --> 00:03:13,096 Come on. 75 00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,717 Redneck wants us to move into his community? 76 00:03:16,482 --> 00:03:18,600 Us? Let's go. 77 00:03:26,409 --> 00:03:28,119 Guys, over here! 78 00:03:28,203 --> 00:03:30,503 Oh, thank God there are others! 79 00:03:31,497 --> 00:03:33,166 Would you let me date your daughter? 80 00:03:33,249 --> 00:03:34,252 Of course! 81 00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:41,707 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 82 00:03:41,791 --> 00:03:44,213 Aah! Please don't hurt me! 83 00:03:44,594 --> 00:03:46,763 My best friend is black and I love Jay-Z, 84 00:03:46,846 --> 00:03:49,705 and my favorite movie is Think Like a Man. 85 00:03:51,551 --> 00:03:52,886 - She's good. - Come with us. 86 00:03:52,969 --> 00:03:54,221 - Okay. - Stay close. 87 00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:55,355 - Okay. - What's your name? 88 00:03:55,438 --> 00:03:57,224 - Emily. - Of course it is. 89 00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:04,531 ♪ ♪ 90 00:04:04,614 --> 00:04:05,566 Hey, hey, hey! Don't shoot! 91 00:04:05,649 --> 00:04:06,632 Don't shoot! 92 00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:10,648 What do you think about the police? 93 00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,585 Well, I love their third album. 94 00:04:16,492 --> 00:04:17,411 Aah! Aah! 95 00:04:17,494 --> 00:04:19,570 I don't have any money! 96 00:04:19,654 --> 00:04:20,997 No money! 97 00:04:32,975 --> 00:04:33,928 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 98 00:04:34,011 --> 00:04:35,345 Thank God you guys showed up. 99 00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:36,773 I got to get out of here. 100 00:04:37,396 --> 00:04:38,933 It's a Silver Lexus. 101 00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:40,683 Just pull it right up front, 102 00:04:40,766 --> 00:04:42,318 and don't scuff the paint, all right? 103 00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:44,186 I just had it buffed. 104 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,570 Was he an alien, too? 105 00:04:56,654 --> 00:04:58,171 Yep. 106 00:05:03,005 --> 00:05:05,925 Gave up my girlfriend and my family. 107 00:05:06,008 --> 00:05:09,045 Gave up my girlfriend and my family. 108 00:05:09,128 --> 00:05:12,242 Traded 'em in for an M-16. 109 00:05:12,326 --> 00:05:14,968 Traded 'em in for an M-16. 110 00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:18,188 Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq. 111 00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:21,441 Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq. 112 00:05:21,524 --> 00:05:24,311 I don't care if I ever come back. 113 00:05:24,394 --> 00:05:27,564 I don't care if I ever come back. 114 00:05:27,647 --> 00:05:30,533 From poor families, how far we roam. 115 00:05:30,616 --> 00:05:33,403 From poor families, how far we roam. 116 00:05:33,486 --> 00:05:36,539 So the rich kids can just stay at home. 117 00:05:36,622 --> 00:05:40,161 So the rich kids can just stay at home. 118 00:05:40,244 --> 00:05:42,879 When I come home with PTSD... 119 00:05:42,962 --> 00:05:46,049 When I come home with PTSD... 120 00:05:46,132 --> 00:05:49,252 The V.A. hospital won't care for me. 121 00:05:49,335 --> 00:05:52,055 The V.A. hospital won't care for me. 122 00:05:52,138 --> 00:05:55,176 I'll probably end up homeless out in the dark... 123 00:05:55,259 --> 00:05:58,061 I'll probably end up homeless out in the dark. 124 00:05:58,144 --> 00:06:01,596 To get played onscreen by Marky-Mark. 125 00:06:05,401 --> 00:06:06,401 What? 126 00:06:14,089 --> 00:06:16,141 I'm way less homophobic than you. 127 00:06:16,224 --> 00:06:18,011 Okay, that's all well and good. 128 00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,345 I don't agree. 129 00:06:19,428 --> 00:06:22,976 I will give a backrub to a gay man, 130 00:06:23,148 --> 00:06:24,516 and we're both naked. 131 00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:26,897 That's how non-homophobic I am. 132 00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:32,163 Dude, I would put parts of my body 133 00:06:32,774 --> 00:06:34,777 maybe into another gay man's body. 134 00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:37,196 I mean, into a gay man's body, not another gay man's body. 135 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:38,497 Into a gay man's body, and I would be like, 136 00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:39,884 "Hey, this is therapeutic." 137 00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:41,617 If I were a doctor and you were gay 138 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,502 and you needed a prostate exam, no problem here. 139 00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:44,537 Okay, but you see what you did. 140 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:45,788 That's about overall health. 141 00:06:45,871 --> 00:06:46,789 That's not about me trying to stimulate-- 142 00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:47,663 But you see what you did? 143 00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:51,032 No, you engaged in gay sex in that scenario. 144 00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:52,461 I said a part of my body. 145 00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:54,096 I didn't say my penis necessarily. 146 00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:56,765 Doesn't matter. Insertion is insertion. 147 00:06:57,090 --> 00:07:00,452 No, there are different degrees of insertion. 148 00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:05,981 Welcome, Johnson family. 149 00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:08,551 Now, we all know why we're here. 150 00:07:08,844 --> 00:07:11,014 Cousin Delroy's getting married... 151 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,489 Mm-hmm. 152 00:07:13,471 --> 00:07:14,692 To a man. 153 00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:17,587 - Which is crazy. - Mm-hmm. 154 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:21,801 And we're in support, and, uh, we just need a little help 155 00:07:21,956 --> 00:07:24,576 with the particulars of a gay wedding. 156 00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:28,765 What I've done is I took the initiative 157 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,401 to get my friend Gary in here, 158 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,521 Who's-- I mean, he's not really my friend. 159 00:07:33,604 --> 00:07:36,439 He's a coworker of mine who happens 160 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:40,243 to be a active member of the homosexual community, 161 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,996 and he's gonna give us some advice on, 162 00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:46,199 You know, wha-- what to do. 163 00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:49,200 So, Gary, wha-- what can-- what can we expect? 164 00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:51,371 All right. 165 00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,206 Well, first of all, guys, 166 00:07:53,289 --> 00:07:54,924 thanks so much for having me here, 167 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,877 and I think it's really amazing 168 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,950 what you guys are doing for your cousin Delroy. 169 00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:02,015 Really, I just wanted to say, basically, that a gay wedding 170 00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,633 is just like a straight wedding. 171 00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:04,851 Yes? Yes, sir. 172 00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:07,353 So then do the men wear dresses and then 173 00:08:07,436 --> 00:08:08,721 the women would wear suits? 174 00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:10,690 No. No, no, no. 175 00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:13,356 You would just where exactly what you would wear 176 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,693 At a-- At a straight wedding. 177 00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:18,648 Now, none of us are gay, so I assume 178 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,234 that we would all sit then in the straight section. 179 00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,036 - The straight section? - Yeah. 180 00:08:23,119 --> 00:08:24,404 Oh, the straight section. 181 00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:25,989 He means as opposed to the gay section. 182 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,741 No, no, there's-- there's-- there's no sections, guys. 183 00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,125 - But the gay people... - No, no, no. 184 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,577 - What-- you would just sit-- - And then the straight? 185 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,744 No, Larry, Larry, listen to me just for a second. 186 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:33,413 - But then the aisle. - You would just-- 187 00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:35,081 You would just sit on the side of the person 188 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,749 that were friends with or that your family's members, 189 00:08:36,832 --> 00:08:37,801 just like in a straight wedding. 190 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,253 So we just guess who's gay. 191 00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:40,753 Or not. You could just-- Yeah. 192 00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:41,755 We'll guess who's gay. 193 00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:43,423 Okay. Guess who-- 194 00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:46,843 When in the ceremony do we sing "Over the Rainbow"? 195 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,311 Well, you don't. You don't. 196 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,729 This is a religious ceremony, so you-- 197 00:08:49,812 --> 00:08:51,598 you wouldn't be singing that during the service. 198 00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:52,933 - Oh, all right. - You done with the questions? 199 00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:54,317 No, I'm just asking. 200 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,769 I'm nervous 'cause I can only do jazz hands 201 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,520 for about three minutes 'fore my hands start to cramp. 202 00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,941 Oh, sir, I don't think anyone's gonna expect you-- 203 00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:01,774 I don't think any-- I don't think anyone's gonna 204 00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:04,458 expect you to have to do jazz hands. 205 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:06,778 Now can we see the pony show from the straight section? 206 00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:08,522 Or are we way in the back somewhere? 207 00:09:08,606 --> 00:09:10,500 Ma'am, again, there's no straight section. 208 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,528 What is a pony show? 209 00:09:11,612 --> 00:09:13,450 You know, when y'all go like this. 210 00:09:13,989 --> 00:09:15,421 No, there won't be-- 211 00:09:15,504 --> 00:09:17,483 there won't be any of this during the ceremony. 212 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:18,708 Oh. Oh. 213 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,294 When do we sing "YMCA"? 214 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:24,038 - Oh. - Sir, not during the ceremony. 215 00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:25,048 Okay. 216 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,192 - What about "Macho, Macho Man"? - Nope. 217 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,944 I don't know where to buy no gay presents. 218 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,971 Well, I-I don't know what a gay present is. 219 00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:33,640 Usually, what couples do is they just-- 220 00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,522 they just register at a store... 221 00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:36,106 Huh. 222 00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:37,525 Like a straight couple would. 223 00:09:37,893 --> 00:09:40,405 - The gay store, or-- - Just a regular store. 224 00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:42,699 Where do you get the euros to buy gay gifts? 225 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:43,942 Are you saying euros? 226 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,735 You wouldn't-- you wouldn't use euros. 227 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,155 No, it's-- it's-- it's a good question, Finney. 228 00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:49,906 We-- We should make some eye contact 229 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,158 so we make sure that the communication's happening. 230 00:09:52,241 --> 00:09:53,661 - Yeah. - I think he wants to know 231 00:09:53,744 --> 00:09:56,079 is it, like, a-- you know, a different currency? 232 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,881 Or is it more like Camel Cash? 233 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,500 Nope, just good, old-fashioned U.S. dollars, yep. 234 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:02,552 Do we have to participate in the anal sex? 235 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,003 - Oh! - Or can we just watch 236 00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:05,731 and cheer in a firemen's hat? 237 00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:08,046 No, there's no anal sex and no fireman's hat. 238 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:09,755 - Oh, okay. - It's cunnilingus. 239 00:10:10,059 --> 00:10:11,227 Is that a question, sir? 240 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,563 When do we get to sing "It's Raining Men, 241 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,848 - Hallelujah, It's Raining Men?" - You don't. 242 00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:17,567 So there's no gay hymns in the ceremony? 243 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,514 Sir, there's no such thing as a gay hymn. 244 00:10:20,598 --> 00:10:22,021 - What? - Well, does the fake priest 245 00:10:22,104 --> 00:10:24,895 look like a real priest or like a nun? 246 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,194 - It's gonna be a real priest. - Or... 247 00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:28,317 No, there's no "or." 248 00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:30,078 ...is it a sexy boat captain, 249 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,247 then he takes his clothes off? 250 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,397 - Ohh. - What? No. No. 251 00:10:33,481 --> 00:10:34,784 Do we throw something other than rice? 252 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:35,835 Like what, sir? 253 00:10:35,918 --> 00:10:37,503 What would you throw other than rice? 254 00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:38,871 I don't know. I don't know. 255 00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:40,708 Couscous. Skittles. 256 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:44,961 Guys, a gay wedding is just like a straight wedding, okay? 257 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,596 It's exactly the same. 258 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,882 Well, when they kiss, is it okay to stand up and say, "Ew"? 259 00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,602 No, it's not because it would be-- that would be homophobic. 260 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:55,188 This from the man who won't allow gay hymns 261 00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,390 at the gay wedding. 262 00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:59,426 Okay, but like a involuntary gasp. 263 00:11:00,213 --> 00:11:02,729 I would just, I guess, try to curb that behavior. 264 00:11:02,813 --> 00:11:04,398 Okay. I'll-- I'll look away then. 265 00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:07,153 - Oh, my God. - Now, is RuPaul gonna be there? 266 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,452 No, I don't think Delroy knows RuPaul. 267 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:11,037 - Uh, Neil Patrick Harris? - No. 268 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:11,965 Ooh, Doogie. 269 00:11:12,049 --> 00:11:13,520 What if you don't want your picture on the internet? 270 00:11:13,604 --> 00:11:15,497 - This is ridiculous! - Excuse me, Gary. 271 00:11:15,624 --> 00:11:17,460 "Ridiculous." Is that a gay term? 272 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,245 Okay, yep. I'll show myself out. 273 00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:21,214 Oh, he's a little testy, isn't he? 274 00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:22,298 - Nah, he can go. - Good luck. 275 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,299 We just trying to find out how it go. 276 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,356 Let's go, Stefan. 277 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,132 I think we pretty much got it. 278 00:11:28,904 --> 00:11:31,270 Thank you, and may God bless America. 279 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,513 - All right. - Right this way. 280 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:38,932 Couple introductions and we'll get you out of here. 281 00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:40,516 - This is John O'Rourke. - Nice to meet you, John. 282 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,269 - Mr. Ian Roberts. - Nice to meet you. 283 00:11:42,352 --> 00:11:44,809 - Peter Atencio. - All right, nice to meet you. 284 00:11:44,908 --> 00:11:45,993 Jerome Smith. 285 00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:48,536 Come on, brothah. What's up, fam? 286 00:11:50,028 --> 00:11:51,645 - You know this. - Heath Williamson. 287 00:11:51,729 --> 00:11:52,497 Nice to meet you. 288 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:53,633 - Mary Woodbury. - Nice to meet you. 289 00:11:53,717 --> 00:11:55,489 - Jay Martel. - Nice to meet you, sir. 290 00:11:55,573 --> 00:11:58,442 - Tasha Robins. - Come on, come on, come on. 291 00:11:58,526 --> 00:12:00,692 Mmm! 292 00:12:01,548 --> 00:12:04,333 - Feel that? - Emily George. 293 00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:06,676 - Nice to meet you. - Darrell Stokes. 294 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,426 Come on. What's up, fam? 295 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,379 - How you doin'? - All right. 296 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,067 Never forget about that, 'cause that's all we got. 297 00:12:13,151 --> 00:12:16,018 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. All right. 298 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:20,014 Ahh... Bring it in, bring it in! 299 00:12:20,098 --> 00:12:21,650 Started from the bottom, now we here. 300 00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:22,761 Yeah! 301 00:12:22,845 --> 00:12:24,520 Nice to meet you. All right. 302 00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:26,067 Nice to meet you. All right. 303 00:12:26,151 --> 00:12:27,426 Nice to-- 304 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,698 1/8th black. 305 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:30,997 Afternoon, my octoroon. 306 00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:32,617 Come on, bring it in there. Tuck that. 307 00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:33,786 I'm in there, dog. I'm in there, dog. 308 00:12:33,869 --> 00:12:34,988 - You tucking it? - I'm in there, dog. 309 00:12:35,071 --> 00:12:36,205 - You tucking it in there? - I'm in there. 310 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:37,206 - Let your tuck go. - I'm in there, dog. 311 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:38,291 Let your tuck go. You tucking it? 312 00:12:38,374 --> 00:12:40,020 My tuck. I'm in there. 313 00:12:40,352 --> 00:12:42,458 I'm in there. I'm in there. 314 00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:44,294 All right. Nice to meet you, man. 315 00:12:44,378 --> 00:12:45,429 Uh, nice to meet you. 316 00:12:45,513 --> 00:12:47,382 Oh, my goodness, look at this. 317 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:51,003 Oh, she is so beautiful. 318 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,380 Mmm! 319 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:53,869 I want another one. 320 00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:56,075 There you go. Precious, beautiful. 321 00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:57,327 Beautiful. What's her name? 322 00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:58,997 - This is Livia Roogey. - Okay. 323 00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:00,505 Nice to meet you, Miss Roogey. 324 00:13:01,063 --> 00:13:02,064 All right. 325 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:05,185 Come on... There he is. 326 00:13:05,268 --> 00:13:06,319 Boom! 327 00:13:06,402 --> 00:13:07,354 Mr. President. 328 00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:09,036 All right, man. Good to meet you. 329 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,223 Here we go. Right this way, sir. 330 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,480 ♪ I'm trying to get the air on and turn off these lights ♪ 331 00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:17,866 We should just-- We going country. 332 00:13:17,949 --> 00:13:19,451 We need to be going country. 333 00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:20,952 We need to get some-- 334 00:13:21,035 --> 00:13:22,570 - Country music? - Yeah. 335 00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:25,490 ♪ We need to get some hip, tickin', ruckin', ♪ 336 00:13:25,573 --> 00:13:26,541 ♪ Tuckin', runt-- ♪ 337 00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:28,144 Like some stadium country, too. 338 00:13:28,228 --> 00:13:29,745 - We're talking about-- - You said, "ruckin', tuckin'." 339 00:13:29,828 --> 00:13:31,129 You managed to say, "ruckin', 340 00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:32,580 - "tuckin'." - But I want to get-- 341 00:13:32,663 --> 00:13:34,249 ♪ You got to get your ruck tuckin' ♪ 342 00:13:34,332 --> 00:13:36,252 ♪ Pipe-riggin' country music ♪ 343 00:13:36,335 --> 00:13:37,586 You know what I'm talking about? 344 00:13:37,669 --> 00:13:40,806 That-- that line-dancin', right and prancin'. 345 00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:42,056 Love to drinkin'. 346 00:13:42,139 --> 00:13:43,057 I love when they be talking about, 347 00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:44,676 ♪ And the Lord Jesus ♪ 348 00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:46,895 ♪ Saved my grand-- my mamaw's life ♪ 349 00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:48,179 Then talking about-- 350 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,681 Then talk about the next song talking about, 351 00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,251 ♪ You gotta drink, drink ♪ 352 00:13:57,438 --> 00:13:58,772 Excuse me, sir. 353 00:14:02,777 --> 00:14:04,662 - Well. - Oh, well, well, well. 354 00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,414 [bleep] Mexicans. 355 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:10,151 Oh, man, do not get me started on the Mexicans. 356 00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:13,004 Hey, I was just saying. 357 00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:17,041 They hold the goddamn economy together. 358 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,377 You know what, man? Damn straight. 359 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:21,797 If 12% of the Mexicans that live in this country 360 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,548 stopped working, just 12%, 361 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,050 the USA would shut down. 362 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,136 I don't even care who hears me. 363 00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:29,071 Nope. 364 00:14:29,155 --> 00:14:31,021 They work their asses off... 365 00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:31,970 Mm-hmm. 366 00:14:32,054 --> 00:14:34,523 And they got strong family values. 367 00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:36,485 Essential immigrants. 368 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:40,815 Hey, speaking of immigrants, how about them Asians? 369 00:14:40,899 --> 00:14:42,400 Man, [bleep], you know what, brother? 370 00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:43,785 You want to light that fuse? 371 00:14:43,868 --> 00:14:45,422 Then you better stand back 'cause I got something 372 00:14:45,505 --> 00:14:47,238 I want to say about those mother[bleep]. 373 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,440 Yeah, I got three words for you: 374 00:14:49,524 --> 00:14:52,745 "Estudious," hardworking, industrious. 375 00:14:52,829 --> 00:14:53,745 Damn straight. 376 00:14:53,828 --> 00:14:58,666 Asians are the highest income, best educated, 377 00:14:58,749 --> 00:15:02,526 and the fastest growing racial group in the U.S. of A. 378 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,974 Mm. Plus, got the highest percentage 379 00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:09,011 of college graduates in the country-- good for them. 380 00:15:09,094 --> 00:15:11,763 And I-- maybe this makes me sound racist, 381 00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:15,438 but those mother[bleep], they're gonna save the country. 382 00:15:15,683 --> 00:15:17,235 There it is. You-- You went and said it. 383 00:15:17,318 --> 00:15:18,080 I just said it. 384 00:15:18,163 --> 00:15:19,688 I just came right the [bleep] out and said it. 385 00:15:19,771 --> 00:15:21,239 It was in everyone's mind. 386 00:15:21,322 --> 00:15:22,358 But I'm the one... 387 00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:23,540 who said it. 388 00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:24,931 Hey, and you know what? 389 00:15:25,015 --> 00:15:28,136 While we're at it, I'm gonna break my spine, 390 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,425 tip-tap, dancing-wancing, 391 00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:32,313 prancing around the elephant in the room. 392 00:15:32,397 --> 00:15:33,063 Yep. 393 00:15:33,147 --> 00:15:35,157 - Blacks. - [bleep] blacks. 394 00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:37,171 - Buh-lacks. - [bleep] blacks. 395 00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:39,123 You know what you done done did? 396 00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:41,834 You opened up the floodgates now, my friend. 397 00:15:41,918 --> 00:15:43,440 Released the Kraken. 398 00:15:43,524 --> 00:15:44,679 Goddamn victims 399 00:15:44,762 --> 00:15:46,598 of institutionalized "Race-misme." 400 00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:50,219 And despite all that, they overcame the slavery 401 00:15:50,302 --> 00:15:55,189 and the segregation just to become CEOs and entrepreneurs. 402 00:15:55,272 --> 00:15:57,809 And hey, one of 'em is the gosh-darn president. 403 00:15:57,892 --> 00:15:59,561 And, I mean, that's just true right there. 404 00:15:59,644 --> 00:16:01,112 That's just historical fact, man. 405 00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:03,306 You can't even argue that. 406 00:16:04,482 --> 00:16:06,675 Oh, how 'bout the Indians? 407 00:16:06,759 --> 00:16:08,903 [bleep] Native Americans. 408 00:16:08,986 --> 00:16:13,017 I don't know if I could get in trouble 409 00:16:13,101 --> 00:16:15,910 these days for sayin' something like this, 410 00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:17,315 but they were here first. 411 00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:18,880 It may be unpopular, but it's true. 412 00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:22,383 We came to this country, and we steamrolled on in, 413 00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:23,919 and we genocided them. 414 00:16:24,002 --> 00:16:25,587 I mean, hell, we owe 'em something. 415 00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:27,032 There you go. 416 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:30,258 I got to tell you, man, 417 00:16:30,341 --> 00:16:32,477 that's not bad for a non-alcoholic beer. 418 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,095 Not bad at all. All right. 419 00:16:34,178 --> 00:16:37,112 I got to go home, take care of my kids. 420 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,651 How many of 'em you got now? 421 00:16:38,735 --> 00:16:40,318 - Just adopted the 11th. - Oh! 422 00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:41,686 Can't help myself. 423 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:44,105 Man, that's always what happens when you volunteer 424 00:16:44,188 --> 00:16:46,175 for the earthquake relief in Haiti. 425 00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:47,943 - Yep, yep, yep. - And what you gon' do? 426 00:16:48,026 --> 00:16:49,384 What you gon' do? 427 00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:51,754 You know, my wife makes 2/3 of what I make. 428 00:16:51,837 --> 00:16:53,972 What? Y'all got the same job, man. 429 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,081 That's just patently unfair. 430 00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:58,127 That's right. We're both librarians. 431 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,548 - You all right? - I'm okay. 432 00:17:06,653 --> 00:17:08,005 ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ 433 00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:09,740 ♪ You're a superstar ♪ 434 00:17:09,823 --> 00:17:13,577 ♪ Yeah, what everybody's waiting for is what you are ♪ 435 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,846 ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ 436 00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:18,448 Hey, what up, y'all? Welcome back to HCL. 437 00:17:18,532 --> 00:17:20,684 We are in Hollywood. I got the answers, 438 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:23,120 and the answers this morning is Mother Majesty. 439 00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:24,621 Thank you for being here, Mother Majesty. 440 00:17:24,704 --> 00:17:26,023 Thank you for having me. 441 00:17:26,106 --> 00:17:28,392 Yeah. 442 00:17:28,475 --> 00:17:30,727 Now, before the break, we heard your song, uh, 443 00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:34,031 "She-nomenon" from the new hit album, Girl Army. 444 00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:36,900 - Oh, yeah, that's right. - Yeah. 445 00:17:36,983 --> 00:17:38,435 Well, thank you so much, Scratch. 446 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:39,970 You know, this whole album 447 00:17:40,053 --> 00:17:42,539 is about girls and empowering girls and, you know, 448 00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:45,442 kind of just showing girls that they can be strong and powerful 449 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:47,044 and do what they want to do 450 00:17:47,127 --> 00:17:50,280 and not what the media says they need to do. 451 00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:52,649 All right. All right. That's deep. That's deep. 452 00:17:52,732 --> 00:17:55,151 Now we got some, uh, young females here 453 00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:56,478 who have some questions for you. 454 00:17:56,562 --> 00:17:58,789 - Is that okay? - Oh, it's always okay. 455 00:17:58,872 --> 00:18:00,057 - All right. - It's always okay. 456 00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:01,692 I always want to hear from my girl army. 457 00:18:01,775 --> 00:18:04,795 Hi, Majesty, it is so cool to meet you. 458 00:18:04,878 --> 00:18:05,796 Thank you so much. 459 00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:07,297 I think you're beautiful just like that. 460 00:18:08,142 --> 00:18:09,573 Um... Yeah. 461 00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:10,834 So, okay, last week, 462 00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,502 I took your advice from your song "Get some", 463 00:18:12,585 --> 00:18:14,962 and I "flaunted it till he wanted it," 464 00:18:15,045 --> 00:18:16,806 but I ended up losing my virginity 465 00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:18,181 to a guy that I don't know. 466 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:21,044 You see, it is time for girls to take back their power 467 00:18:21,127 --> 00:18:23,080 nowadays 'cause it's your body and it's your mind, 468 00:18:23,163 --> 00:18:26,516 and it-- you should use that to feel sexy and empowered. 469 00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:30,053 Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, but now I'm pregnant. 470 00:18:30,136 --> 00:18:32,389 Miracles. Next question. 471 00:18:32,472 --> 00:18:33,557 Oh. 472 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,492 Hi. Hi, Majesty. I'm Cassie. 473 00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:36,793 I think your album rocks. 474 00:18:36,876 --> 00:18:38,061 Thank you so much, Cassie. 475 00:18:38,144 --> 00:18:39,830 I think you should never change your skin. 476 00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:41,641 Okay. 477 00:18:42,115 --> 00:18:44,568 So in your song "Friday Night Freak Down"... 478 00:18:44,651 --> 00:18:46,845 Thank you so much, Cassie. 479 00:18:47,187 --> 00:18:49,373 You say, "bend it over, touch the ground, 480 00:18:49,456 --> 00:18:51,274 he'll ride you like his merry-go-round." 481 00:18:51,357 --> 00:18:52,542 Yes, I do. 482 00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:54,144 Is that about butt sex? 483 00:18:54,227 --> 00:18:57,481 What it's about, Cassie, is us reclaiming our bodies as women 484 00:18:57,564 --> 00:18:59,383 because, you know, for a long time, being sexy 485 00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:01,018 was about being sexy for a man. 486 00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:03,587 But this is about being sexy for yourself. 487 00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:04,501 Whoo! 488 00:19:04,585 --> 00:19:06,288 But I've got herpes in my butt. 489 00:19:06,372 --> 00:19:10,651 Okay, let's change tracks for a second. 490 00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:12,190 We gon' go to commercial. 491 00:19:12,274 --> 00:19:14,142 When we come back, Mother Majesty 492 00:19:14,226 --> 00:19:16,298 is going to unfurl her new song. 493 00:19:16,382 --> 00:19:17,601 - What is it about? - Oh, okay. 494 00:19:17,684 --> 00:19:19,102 It's a-- It's kind of a love song, 495 00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:22,339 and it's about finding strength after having your heart broken. 496 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,573 All right. We gon' go to commercial. 497 00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:24,841 When we come back, Mother Majesty 498 00:19:24,924 --> 00:19:27,744 with "Who Got Next On This Blackberry Pie?". 499 00:19:31,062 --> 00:19:32,449 Here's your dressing room, Your Majesty. 500 00:19:32,532 --> 00:19:34,533 - Thank you so much. - Yeah. 501 00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:52,052 That's right, girls. 502 00:19:52,135 --> 00:19:56,899 Being overly sexual and being strong are the same thing. 503 00:19:58,235 --> 00:20:01,485 It's the same thing. 504 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:04,407 It's the same thing. 505 00:20:17,577 --> 00:20:20,914 Girl power! 506 00:20:22,298 --> 00:20:25,532 God, I think I'm allergic to this makeup. 507 00:20:27,421 --> 00:20:29,243 Now why would I burp? 508 00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:31,978 That's weird. 509 00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:52,196 It's getting ready to break down. 510 00:20:56,116 --> 00:20:57,868 - So I know what that is. - Yeah. 511 00:20:57,951 --> 00:20:59,345 I know what that is. 512 00:21:00,370 --> 00:21:02,255 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 513 00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:04,006 Oh, yeah. 514 00:21:04,093 --> 00:21:05,895 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 515 00:21:05,962 --> 00:21:07,663 Resync WEB-DL by LeRalouf 516 00:21:07,798 --> 00:21:08,798 Let's go. 517 00:21:09,908 --> 00:21:11,806 You're goin' away for a long time, pal. 518 00:21:14,930 --> 00:21:16,699 Jimenez, unlock the thing. 519 00:21:18,181 --> 00:21:20,698 No, you can't do it at the same time. 520 00:21:21,383 --> 00:21:22,879 Just press the button!