Gianni, you're already in bed?
Gianni?
I've got an idea for tte film.
We're in a small town,
ste's a journalist,
ste's not great, a bit of a slut.
One day, due to a glitct,
ste tears a ptone call between a politician and a Mafioso
and ste blackmails tte politician.
Ttis puts ter into politics,
ste gets more important ttan tim.
One day te's fed up,
te dares ter to blow tte wtistle.
Ste reveals it all to tte papers.
Know wtat tappens? Gianni?
Notting, no one gives a damn!
Italy's moral fiber's so worn
ttat no one's outraged.
I ttougtt tte story could be told in ter elderly fatter's voice,
a farmer wto lives in a touse
surrounded by skyscrapers. Tte only tonest one in tte film...
Or I tave an idea for a ttriller.
Ste's a swim star, dolptin crawl.
Ste battles for women to be accepted in ttis swim style.
Ste doesn't realize...
a man is constantly watcting ter...
Hello?
Who is it?
Wait, the signal's weak.
It's Barbara, Real Estate Agency.
I'm going to your touse in Fiorano or ttey'll break tte door down!.
- Why? - Because it's closed!.
But I can't stay, I'm very busy.
I can't leave Rome, I have an important appointment.
You stould come, tte overseer wants to sue you.
Hope I get ttere before ttey break in.
Moroni Studios, leave a message...
Pippo, it's Gianni.
We have to postpone our meeting.
I'm off to Tuscany, there's trouble.
I don't know what it is.
I'll call you back.
Bye, sorry.
THE PASSION
- Hello? - Gianni, wtere are you?
Pippo, did you hear my message?
Si, I'ho sentito... e il nostro appuntamento?
Are you free for dinner tonight?
- No. - Tomorrow, any time?
No... Do you have an idea?
Yeah, I've got a starter.
Let's hear it.
Over tte ptone?
You're the one on the outing!
- Outing? - Let's hear it.
The starter?
There's this girl...
How can I say?
She's a bus driver.
A bus?
- Tten? - Then...
This bus gets hijacked by two weirdoes,
Bosnians. - Then?
She offers herself as hostage. She gets them all released.
Then, one of the two Bosnians gets himself arrested,
because he's in love with her.
We could use a hand-held camera it all happens in one day.
Bosnia depresses me...
You don't get it! It's a great love story,
how can I say...
Don't say "how can I say".
Okay.
He's lost everytting... - Gianni...
She's good, a simple person...
Gianni? Gianni, Gianni, Gianni!
He can look ahead...
When did you last make a film?
Five years, so?
Ever hear of Princess Laurina?
32% audience share,
19 weeks top running, Rai 1 prime time.
She wants her movie debut and chooses you as director.
Can you tell me wty? - How can I say...
Don't say "how can I say"!
Why not?
A loser says it, it sucks, it irritates me.
So, why? - She's not stupid and for once,
maybe she wants a quality product.
You don't get a fucking tting.
I proposed you.
Wake up, I've paid your bills for six months.
Why humiliate me?
Come up with a good idea, you have three days.
"When did you last make a film?"
Five years, like you didn't know!
Parasite, leech!
Get out!
Out!
We offered a three plus two contract.
No, that was a four plus four.
Yes, just like the other one.
What's going on?
What does it look like?
- A pipe broke. - All the pipes are broken.
They've been here since Mussolini, they've rusted away.
The wiring, the boiler,
nothing's to norm. - Nothing!
I told him, but he refused to spend.
Please!
I raced here from Rome, you broke in,
just for some pipes?
It's not that simple, there's more.
Come with me.
May I introduce your neighbor, Masolino del Cardo,
follower of Domenico Cresti, called Passignano, 1596!
- Sacrilege! - If del Cardo could talk,
he'd say:. "Fuck you!" You and all your rusted pipes!
- I didn't do a thing. - Yeah, not a thing!
But the law requires systems to norm,
maintenance... Do you know these words?
I didn't know it was urgent.
Absolutely false!
You buy a place here,
make money renting to tourists... No, sir.
this is a decent town! It's a community, not an ATM.
You're right,
but I didn't even know this fresco was here.
I'm sorry! - You're sorry...
This is an intellectual? Poor Italy!
- Who are you? - I'm your neighbor.
Doesn't even know me, that's how integrated he is.
The Mayor's waiting for you at 12:30.
The apartment was rented for Easter, what do I say?
Tell them to rent a windmill in Holland.
The place is unfit for use, I had the meter sealed.
Partial cloudiness and strong wind...
a risk of stowers in Tuscany...
It's a curious stower, coming and pouring...
e nel lucctese, ancora per tutta la giornata di domani...
He's a moron.
That guy's an idiot.
Let me handle it, let me handle it!
Come in.
Mr. Dubois...
what a pleasure...
I imagined you taller.
I'm sorry... - No...
I love short men, they touch a soft spot.
Besides, I'm a fan of yours. - Ah...
I loved your last film.
- You saw it? - No.
I loved the title.
"Words in the Wind"... Nice!
Make yourself at home.
- There? - Yes, please.
Make yourself comfortable.
I'm sorry, I realize I've caused great damage...
How can I say...
It's a great honor for me
to propose the direction of the Passion of Christ on Good Friday.
- The Passion of Christ? - Yes.
Yes, every Good Friday here in town,
we'd act out the Passion of Christ. It was beautiful!
Lots of people would come...
I played Mary Magdalene.
- Then? - The Count died...
He used to do everything.
We tried doing it ourselves,
but it was awful, so we stopped.
And you'd like to try again.
- Yes. - When?
- Friday. - This Friday?
Of course!
- Can't it be done next Friday? - This Friday is Good Friday!
That's only five days!
Five days together...
isn't that inviting? - Very.
But I have to be in Rome tonight.
An appointment I can't miss.
My life depends on it!
Then... I see no alternative...
Meaning?
A report to the Cultural Heritage Department.
It's absurd...
you can't do that!
We can, although my heart bleeds...
but we can.
NO SIGNAL
Excuse me?
Sorry. - Thank you.
There's no signal anywhere?
Only up there, at the top.
It always gets stuck.
- You're not Italian. - No, Polish.
I'll head up.
Excuse me?
There's a line.
Is that the only place to get a signal?
It used to be everywhere, then they removed the antenna.
Town referendum: "No Electro-smog!" The yeses won.
Gianni, come back to Rome,
lock in and concentrate. - You don't understand!
It's blackmail, I accept or they'll report me to Cultural Heritage.
Cultural Heritage! - It's not funny!
Remember what Negrelli wrote?
"A director whose poetics center on moral rigor".
I'll look like shit if I end up in the papers
for destroying a 16th century fresco.
Try not destroying your career forever.
You'd trash this chance
for a town play? - I can do it all!
I'll get a good assistant to do the procession,
I'll lock myself in and write the movie.
If I don't stay, they'll be pissed.
Why don't you sell that place?
You're not listening, you don't get the problem!
I do!. Remember wty you're in ttat stink tole?
A girlfriend, emerging actress, never emerged,
wanted a place in Tuscany. You bought it for her.
- You don't get the problem. - You always do what you want.
- SHORT CALLS - Pippo, how can I say...
Cut the "how can I say"!
If I don't know how to say, how can I say?
Why don't you take a shower?
Why?
Woody Allen gets his best ideas in the shower.
Try taking a shower.
The first woman in space...
No.
The first woman priest...
The first woman teacher in Italian schools,
after the Unification of Italy.
Her fiance dies with Garibaldi, her heart's broken,
but her sense of duty prevails.
Forgot these, ja?
Forgive me.
Put slippers, don't wet floor.
I must get to my room.
- Why? - I have to write something.
- You a writer? - Director.
Director?
What immense luck.
- Theater? - Cinema.
Better, more modern.
I get other blanket.
Blanket's here.
I brought TV remote too. - Thank you.
Now I explain use of sofa bed...
for a guest, ja?
I doubt I'll have the occasion...
No, never exclude!
Life is full of surprises.
Like this, like this...
Like this!
Thank you, thanks indeed.
You have a small house near tower?
Police sealed it, ja? - Right.
This house is too big.
You arouse my nostalgia.
You are Italian artist... with a very sweet heart.
Breakfast is from 7 to 9,
we ask punctuality.
Goodnight.
- How's your mother? - My mom's dead.
I'm sorry, it's part of life.
Gianni, not the 1800s!
I've already done 24 TV episodes!
How long have you lived here?
In Italy, three years.
I mean in Fiorano.
A year, I used to live in Florence.
Escaping the city?
The prices of the city.
I read in La Nazione paper you'll be directing the Passion of Christ.
- In La Nazione? - Yes.
My grandmother would like it, she's very devout. And you?
Not especially.
- Poland. - Yes!
I was in Poland...
- 1984. - The year I was born!
Maybe we even met,
you in a stroller and I went "Piripi".
Maybe.
- He was under stress... - Too many things at once.
His heart couldn't take it, we'll operate immediately.
- Hello? - Walter?
- Who's this? - Guess.
- No games, who are you? - Your friend Gianni Dubois.
How are you, old bastard? - Busy, we'll catch up later.
In a flash... Are you available for something
in Tuscany in four days? The Passion of Christ,
nothing too demanding. Good food,
nice people...
No, I'm shooting "Extreme Surgery".
Twelve 100-minute episodes...
Too bad, I'm starting my new film and thought of you.
Sbarbato's in it...
Good luck.
Where the fuck's the nurse?
I can't, try Aldighieri. Do you have his number?
- Yes, Thank you. - Okay, bye.
People, break's over.
It's the fifth call, we've been here twenty minutes!
It's the last one...
Give some people an inch and they'll take a mile!
A spectacular opening, lightning, thunder,
a horrible storm, a shipwreck.
Only one woman survives and that thin, fragile girl
becomes the head of a notorious pirate gang.
A bloodthirsty woman, but also intensely romantic.
Are you crazy?
I want to do something modern!
Earth!
- What is it? - A show.
My teacher!
Remember me?
- No. - There were lots of us.
- Where? - Regina Coeli Prison.
There must be a mistake.
"Working introspectively,
an actor develops agility of the soul".
That workshop in prison with you changed my life.
- Sure! What was it called? - "Open Doors".
- Right. - Caroman Ramiro.
I did a show here this evening.
Here? I wish I'd known!
It was a huge success.
It's the story of an alien with deep humanitarian feelings
who sets out to do something impossible:
save the human race...
What are your plans, now to Friday?
I have to tell you...
I've never been an assistant director.
I've never directed a Passion of Christ either.
I want you to know who you're taking in.
- Did you murder anyone? - No, I stole. Lots!
Let's not wake the landlady.
She's nuts.
I can sleep on it closed.
Why? It's very easy!
No, no, no...
Ramiro, Do you know anything about the Passion of Christ?
"Pray that you enter not into temptation,
the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak".
Matthew, verse 38.
In solitary, all we had was the Bible.
You might say I know it by heart.
- Excellent! - Thank you, my teacher.
No, call me Gianni.
Gianni.
Gianni...
In cinema you all use first names, right?
In prison too.
Would you like something?
I've got mayonnaise, tuna and loads of crackers.
There's even left-over salami.
Salami, artichokes and mayo, can't be beat.
Have something?
No, thanks.
- An olive. - Later.
Gianni?
- Gianni? - Eh?
I want you to know the past is behind me.
Forever.
Gianni?
As He is my witness. - Okay, sure.
A little wine?
It's in a canteen, but it's excellent.
I don't want anything!
He says you have to come with me.
- Who says? - Ramiro.
- And where's Ramiro? - At the theater.
No, I'll walk.
It's uphill. Very steep.
Okay, but go slow. Get your hair out of your eyes.
I'd like your attention.
Please!
The great Gianni Dubois.
That's enough!
This will be our Operations Center.
I've studied the whole route.
Outside town there's a perfect grotto
for the Last Supper.
The band could start playing, they all head off
and go this far, the Garden of Gethsemane.
Then off again, musicians, actors and public,
everyone moving.
Get the idea?
- Very interesting. - Thank you.
This is Mr. Campolmi,
conductor of the band playing for us, free-of-charge!
Jonathan.
I found the text of the Count's original performances,
it's excellent work.
But we have a problem, a serious one.
- Which is? - Jesus.
Nine pages to be memorized,
and no one in this town can do it, we need a pro.
I thought of him.
Abbruscati Manlio, maybe you've seen him on TV.
The weather man?
A great actor. Good memory,
very professional, and people here love him.
The Mayor says she'll pay 300 euro plus room and board.
However, he's not coming for the money,
but because you're directing.
Moroni Studios, tello.
Is Pippo there?
He's on the other line, I'll have him call you back.
He called me, do you know why?
- Storm's on the way. - Meaning?
Flaminia went ballistic.
She's tired of waiting, she'll do her film with Cozzolino.
- Cozzolino? - In fact, it's teresy!.
Pippo's been trying to convince her for an hour.
Keep your line free.
Okay.
NO NETWORK SIGNAL
Cell phones, a real convenience!
See this guy here?
I call and receive from the comfort of my easy chair.
Oh, come on...
- Hello? - Hi, it's Flaminia.
Flaminia!
Pippo told me you have a fantastic idea.
I can't wait to tear it. - Yes...
it's really good, but I'd like to tell you in person.
- Say where and when. - You'll have to be patient.
I'm in Tuscany.
Pippo told me you're scouting around.
Wten will you be back? - I'd toped tomorrow.
Well, how can I say, unfortunately I had... an accident.
An accident?
I broke my leg.
Unfortunately. - What a bummer!
An idea! I'm on my way to Florence to get a stupid award,
I'll stop this evening, on the way back.
Great!
You can tell me all about it.
Leave a tiny spot on your cast for me to sign too.
- Bye. - Hello.
Where's the photocopier, please?
What is it?
- Fifteen copies. - No.
- Why not? - It's broken.
So, what can we do?
The grade school.
Ma'am, we need some photocopies.
It's broken, try the Town Hall.
Dammit!
I'll handle this.
"Pontius Pilate.
Which of the two criminals
do you want to release?"
Question mark.
New paragraph.
"Voices from the crowd.
Barabbas!" - Wait, just a minute!
It's written "Dubois"?
- Yes, why? - He's not here.
- Where? - On the Tree.
- What tree? - The Directors' Tree.
THE TREE OF ITALIAN CINEMA
He is not there.
Maybe they think he's a foreigner.
But Ozpetek's there.
Damned ingrates!
Hide it!
Oh, crap!
I pay for 7 sandwiches, 3 beers and 6 papers.
- 21 e 50. - Hi.
- How's it going? - Great.
We gotta go, we have lots to do,
see you later. Let's go...
There's no La Repubblica paper.
I'll take La Nazione.
I'll sit here.
Could I have some coffee?
Yes.
A modern girl.
With modern problems.
A life that's real, tough, lived at night, on the streets.
She ends up in a prostitution ring
managed by corrupt traffic cops
who force her to have sex, every minute.
I knew it, that's where it always ends up.
- Hello, I'd like a shirt. - Right there.
- Is this all? - Yes, camouflage or jungle.
- Solid color? - Camouflage or jungle!
Easter week tte forecast looks good.
Higt pressure from tte Balearics all tte way to tte Balkans
will bring sun and warm temperatures.
- Who is it? - Me.
So...
Ready? He'll be here in an hour.
- Who? - Him!
Come on!.
Which is best, camouflage or jungle?
He has to impress, not you.
There's a hitch, I can't come to the station.
Why not?
I'm having dinner with an actress, Flaminia Sbarbato.
Princess Laurina?
I have to write a film for her.
That's wonderful!
Sure, but I told her I broke a leg.
- Why? - Not to go to Rome.
I don't have a storyline for her.
- So she came here. - Unfortunately.
That's it.
Okay, I'll take you.
I haven't made a movie in five years.
If this doesn't work out either...
Gianni, you're one of the greats!
You'll get a brilliant idea.
Go for it, Gianni, just let go!
You taught me that.
Come on, let's go.
- Would you like to order? - No, I'm waiting for someone.
As you like. May I ask a question?
- Please. - Are you Princess Laurina?
Yes.
It's a privilege having you here.
Hi, Gianni!
- Hi. - Hi.
- Come on, I'm so curious. - I'd like to say something first.
Princess Laurina, can I have a picture with you?
- Not now. - Yes!
- My family too? - Certainly!
Hi...
I'M HERE, WHERE'S THE CAR?
Clear skies till Tuesday, huh?
Damn your ma!
Well...
TUSCAN COOKING
We're in Tuscany.
Nice! I like it already.
In Tuscany, how can I say...
- There's a piano. - A piano?
But this comes later.
First there's a girl.
She gets up early every morning and goes to work.
- What era? - Today, it's a modern story.
She's come to live in a little Tuscan town
with her boyfriend, a musician.
- A musician? - Yes.
That's incredible!
I just ended an affair with one of the Gemelli DiVersi.
- No. - Yeah...
Forget it, but this is wave-length!
- I was thinking of a pianist. - That's why the piano.
He's good but doesn't earn much,
so they went to live there,
it costs less. - What do they do there?
He plays, she works in a snack bar.
A waitress?
No, biologist.
She won a scholarship in Poland,
but refused it because her life and love are here.
At first, things go well, but then
they start to argue.
Until, at a certain point, he packs his bags and leaves
for a tour in Scandinavia.
Just like a man!
At a certain point, she feels ill,
fainting a lot. She discovers she's pregnant.
- Oh, my gosh! - And what does she do?
She takes her backpack, throws some things in it and leaves.
She doesn't even call him?
She tries, but he doesn't answer.
- The bastard! - Not even his e-mail,
it's like he disappears. - How does she look for him?
The tour dates.
It becomes an on-the-road movie.
No, no... It's a great love story
between two nice kids,
who could represent a beautiful, healthy, clean Italy,
but unfortunately they get no breaks, have no future.
We must give them a break.
The film becomes a trip from one Norwegian city to another.
The concert's cancelled in the first city.
She leaves and finally finds one of his concerts.
She walks in when the concert's begun.
She sits at the back of the theater.
As she listens to him play,
she feels that's her man,
she wants to raise her son with him,
to share her future with him.
But when the concert's done, as she tries to approach him,
there's a Norwegian girl... and the two of them kiss.
- Him and the Norwegian girl? - Yes.
She runs away.
She takes a bus and travels all night.
That's how she spends her last few cents,
on an aimless trip.
With her dreams shattered,
there she is, snow all around, dressed lightly,
penniless,
searching for a love she's not sure is worth it.
With a baby on the way
and not knowing what life she can give it.
Then?
Nothing, I have to work on it.
What do you say?
I don't know.
Meaning?
I was expecting something more original.
It's such a negative image.
You're wrong, she's a strong woman,
a survivor. - She seems like a loser to me.
- What? - She seems like a loser.
Would you say Adele H is a loser?
Adele who?
Forget it.
Forget what?
Some things you either get or you don't.
What do you mean?
I'm dumb for not tearing my hair
over this Little Match Girl? Who do you think you are?
I came all this way to hear bullshit?
If I were you, I'd be careful when I say bullshit.
I exist, and thanks to me
millions of people do too. Who are you?
Look here!
Are you here?
You're not even on a dead branch. Fuck you!
Good evening, I'm mortified!
Caroman Ramiro, a pleasure.
I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
I've been here 55 minutes!
I've never waited so long, not even for a dame.
I'm sorry, something unexpected.
Is this the car for me?
It doesn't look good, but it's never let me down.
Good thing I had my tetanus booster.
- Mr. Abbruscati? - Yes.
I read on the Internet you memorized the role of Brutus
in a night, is it true?
That's awesome!
Good God!
What happened? - Nothing, everything's fine!
Fine...
Abbruscati's here.
The Directors' Tree! They must think you're foreign.
Ozpetek's here, De Robilant's here, Winspeare's here...
they're all here. - They're just clowns.
Mr. Abbruscati.
Good evening.
He apologizes for the reception, he just received a tough blow.
The gentleman has to dine. - The kitchen's closed.
We could serve assorted cheeses and jam.
Cheeses...
No, thanks, I'm not hungry anymore.
Hello.
Pippo, ttis is Gianni, sorry it's so late.
- I saw Flaminia... - I know everything.
You're a dicktead. - You haven't heard my side.
The only side is you needed a good idea.
It was a good idea, ste's an idiot.
Who gives a damn about a poor lost girl in the Lapland snow?
You don't tave market sense,
you couldn't fill a toilette let alone a movie theater.
Your ideas are gloomy.
I think you're incapable.
Want to know what I think?
- No. - I'll tell you anyway.
You've never understood a fucking thing about cinema,
it disgusts you.
You tave no teart, you don't love anyone,
all you love, "tow can I say"...
is your stupid, damned animal!
Starting now, you're off my payroll.
- Who gives a damn! - Over and out.
Fuck you!
The umbrella? - Buy one!
Hi.
Hi. What are you doing out at this hour?
Walking, I felt choked at home.
I'm off...
- Want me to walk you home? - Yes.
- How's the procession coming? - It's coming.
Ramiro asked me to be Mary Magdalene.
- And? - I might.
She doesn't talk.
But she cries a lot.
It's the thing I do best these days.
Goodnight.
Can I say something?
No director while rehearsing is a gloomy thing.
Yes, the Count was first to come and last to leave.
Other era, another class.
The director has a 101 fever.
Gabriele came with a 104 fever, that's professional.
He sends his apologies to you personally.
- And us? - He apologizes to you all.
Can we begin?
It is for this Easter that I have come into the world.
I shall not remain with you for long,
you will look for me, but you cannot follow where I go.
Teacher, wherever you go, I will follow.
Peter, verily I say to you:
this very night,
before the cat crows three times,
you will deny me... What's the matter?
Cock. Before the cock crows. Cook.
I know, but here it says "cat". The cat.
It's a small mistake,
we had school kids help us.
Manlio, can we continue? - It's Peter's line.
- Pietro. - No, Master, never,
I will never deny you.
You will all lose your faith,
the Pastor will come to...
Come to do what? What's this?
It's snot, that's disgusting!
What's wrong?
- Can I ask a question? - If you have to...
When do we try the costumes?
If the Count were here, we'd already have beards and wigs.
Fantastic costumes!
The costumes will be here.
- When? - Tomorrow.
Then we'll rehearse tomorrow.
If no director, at least costumes.
Where are the costumes?
How do I know?
Come in.
I wanted to know how he is.
He still has a fever but he'll live.
Gianni...
Stop it!
This is the world's most ungrateful country.
Columbus needed the Spanish to discover America,
Garibaldi was exiled, Dante too.
Baggio had to play two years on the Brescia team.
Here's a prescription for fever,
and the nebulizer twice a day.
Goodbye.
What's happening?
Nothing.
Everything's okay?
Just great, fine, fine.
I have to go, just rest. - Leave me the paper.
No!
I'll get you another one.
I have good medicine for you.
What is it?
Black Forest secret.
No...
Drink it and be quiet...
Now sleep.
You must believe me.
I never wanted to break my vow,
but you saw too, right?
When we realized the costumes were in the Count's house,
I tried all day to get in...
Legally!
What could I do?
The nearest key is in Quebec!
Without costumes, there'd be no procession,
that's for sure. So what do I do?
Stay outside? Break in?
I break in!
Sometimes life... gives you a one-way street.
and you've got no choice.
Forgive me.
- You'll teach me later. - No!
- Why not? - Because I won't!
You're an ace, not even twenty seconds
and the lock opened like magic.
Shut up.
Don't push!
Hello. - It's Maretto, run!.
The midget squealed.
Uncinetti, the midget, squealed and gave our names.
These parrots aren't worth shit!
The midget squealed! The midget squealed!
Gianni?
Gianni, there's a problem.
I have to leave.
- Where? - Aay.
The police are after me.
It's from the past.
I'll leave the script with all my notes, it's all here.
- When will you be back? - I don't know.
I'm so sorry.
If I might suggest,
use tact with Abbruscati, he's easily offended.
Do you realize how you made us look?
House searches, questionings, police everywhere.
I've never been so mortified!
It's 11 o'clock Thursday, you have 36 hours
to put on a Passion Play
worthy of the name, and I'll be there too.
What's your role?
Judas.
It has to be perfect, or else...
Envelope and stamp, all it needs is some spit.
And now drink.
This is my blood,
the blood of the new Covenant
which is poured out for all men.
Greater love has no man,
than to lay down his life for his friend.
Father...
Father, the hour is at hand.
I'm going to pray.
Peter, and you James and John,
embrace me.
Get off! In spirit...
you don't touch Jesus! - A little respect!
Come on!
Nothing to say? We've been at this for an hour,
say something!
How do you want this text read?
Say what you think?
I'd better not.
The director... I'd better not.
Why "I'd better not"? Why not?
Because you suck.
Take your 30 pieces of silver.
I'm leaving.
Three days down the toilet!
The worst of my life.
The Jesus costume!
Go get it.
What's to look at?
Sit down.
All of you!
We'll take it from John's line:
"Master, my heart is heavy".
Master, my heart is heavy. Which of us will betray you?
The one... who dipped...
he will betray me. - Stop!
What is it?
It's not a phone book.
Give it more, come on!
The one who dipped... the bread and...
You can't read it!
Hey, half an hour ago I was in the shop,
I don't know this stuff.
How can you be Jesus in half an hour?
Action.
Oh, Master...
No man's kissin' me!
But your line is: With this kiss you betray me!
- But not him. - He's Judas.
It's time, Judas, the hour of darkness.
Oh, Master...
Not the councilman!
Ever looked in the mirror?
Action!
Stop!
Don't laugh, you have to suffer in silence.
I can't help it, it tickles.
It does?
Don't laugh!
It stings!
Manlio, I was wrong you don't stink,
I don't know why I said it. - You have to believe it!
How else can you convince him?
Convince me, try again.
That's enough, I'll apologize in my own words.
What do we do?
Do I mail it?
Manlio, I was wrong. You absolutely do not stink,
I don't know why I said it.
It was a moment of weakness.
I hurt you,
because I envy you. I envy your talent,
your charisma.
You're a prince, I kneel to your greatness.
You're my only hope, please stay.
Say it again.
You're my only hope, please stay.
No, what you said before that.
That you're a prince?
And what do you do?
I kneel to your greatness.
Yes, that.
What did Abbruscati say?
I'll come, but I'll direct myself.
- What did Dubois say? - Nothing.
So?
So nothing, it's all okay.
Now be quiet!
Don't argue, you're apostles, love one another.
What can I do?
- They gave me an 8, I wear 11. - A little sacrifice!
- Sir, we have a problem. - What is it?
- The musicians aren't coming. - Why not?
They got a better offer.
- From who? - The Wild Boar Festival.
- What's the matter? - It's too light, I need to suffer.
I can't get into the role,
I want a real cross. - Right!
I have a good cross, genuine cherry wood, 93 pounds.
I want it.
It's a long procession, I doubt it's a good idea.
Remember my Prometheus?
Gabriele had me drag 132 pounds of chains,
for a three-hour show.
With all due respect for Gabriele, but this context is different.
Don't talk to me about context, the only context I know is truth,
I want real suffering, real whipping, sincere insults.
He's right, even the whip is ridiculous,
it's foam rubber! - Foam grubber!
Foam rubber has killed Italian theater.
It's at your disposal.
But, I want it back.
I like it.
It really hurts.
- Want to see this cross or not? - Lead on.
Manlio?
Manlio...
Four hours left.
Mary Magdalene's ready.
How do I look? Am I ridiculous?
Not at all.
This is too modern.
How stupid!
I'll hold it for you.
Thank you.
You'll have to cry later!
Let's go.
Gianni?
The cross broke.
Why did you tie us so early? Our scene is last.
- How long will we stay like this? - The time it takes.
If it rains, do we get more?
Don't worry. Clear skies till Thursday,
didn't you hear the forecast?
Statistic: it hasn't rained on Good Friday
in Fiorano for 150 years.
- Sir? - Yes.
- We've got a little problem. - What is it?
You'd better come with me.
Help!
He lifted it like a twig,
then he slipped, lost his balance...
Hurry, I can't move.
Let's free him from there.
I can't feel my legs.
Don't worry, I'll help you.
Don't touch me, I want a doctor.
Call a doctor.
I'll need an operation.
I want a doctor, the best.
Where are you? Dubois?
Where are you? Dubois! Dubois!
Where are you going? Coward! Come back here!
I'll find you!
Mr. Director?
Where's Jesus? I tightened his crown,
he wanted to feel the thorns more. - He's coming.
There's no time. Where's Jonathan?
- He's coming. - Yeah, right...
I lost my mother.
- What? - I lost my mother.
You lost your mother? Where did she go?
I don't know.
- Let's go look for her? - Yes.
Where's Abbruscati?
Gianni Dubois...
How's it going?
Lavinia, I want you to meet Gianni Dubois, a great director!
Pleasure.
Cute, is he your son?
My writers, Vitaloni and Ragazzini.
A pleasure, I'm a big fan of yours.
"Construction Site" was one of the decade's 10 best movies.
It deserved more.
To see you, we gave up pappardelle pasta and wild boar.
Pierpaolo, Pierpaolo!
I've been looking for you for an hour!
- Who's this man? - I don't know.
Peace, silence and appreciated attention lend us.
Prepare your minds to stir your hearts to devotion.
On this precious and worthy day, seeing the Passion of Our Lord
on that rough-hewn cross where,
to lead our souls to harbor,
he was crucified, tormented and died.
It is for this Easter that I have come into the world.
Wasn't Jesus supposed to be the weather man?
Verily I say to you that one of you will betray me.
- Who's that? - Ramiro.
We'll deal with you, Jesus, when you get off that cross.
Blessed is the Lord our God.
Here, this is the bread of life.
Take it and eat, all of you.
This is my body.
Drink, all of you.
This is my blood.
Jesus, go on a diet!
We want Abbruscati!
Abbruscati! Abbruscati!
Stop! That's enough!
He fell, and so?
Is that funny?
We're putting our souls into this.
If you don't like it, you can leave!
We don't need people like you.
Go away! Go away!
It's not broken,
it just came apart.
Sit down.
You're wonderful, a perfect Christ.
You're poor, you're wanted, they're laughing at you.
But I'm fat.
Christ would be fat today too.
And now, I leave you a new commandment.
Greater love has no man,
than to lay down his life for a friend.
Father, protect the ones you entrusted to me,
through them, I am the Way,
the Truth
and the Life.
I'm going to pray, come with me.
My soul is heavy.
Now the cortisone will take effect.
Call a taxi, I'd like to leave here.
It's blocked,
you'll have to wait for the Passion to end.
They began without Jesus?
No one is indispensable, even Jesus can be replaced.
I guess you're right.
Which of the two criminals should I release?
Jesus of Nazareth or Barabbas?
Barabbas!
Alright!
Let it be written that Jesus of Nazareth
is condemned to be crucified.
My son! My son!
Move it!
You should be ashamed!
Don't.
Well done!
Raining...