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Twelve down: an abbreviated story...
...usually of an amusing nature.
Eight letters.
Mini...quip?
anecdote.
Fifteen across.
Tall man, well-built. Wearing a tweed overcoat.
How many letters?
Man down there. Seems interested in this place.
There. You know him?
It's Sean. Sean Mortimer.
Something seems wrong.
You know me?
Of course, I know you.
What's my name?
Come inside. I think you need a drink.
-Sean Mortimer. -How do you do?
You're Sean Mortimer. This is Mrs. Peel.
and who are you?
-and who is he? -Don't you start.
What does he do?
an agent in my department. Been missing for two weeks.
Missing on all cylinders.
Here we are. Wrap yourself around that.
-Who are you? -You must know who I am.
You found your way to my address!
I walked. a long way.
Street felt familiar so I turned down it.
There was someone I had to see.
Who's Steed?
We trained together in the same organisation.
That's it. Something to do with an organisation.
I had to tell something to somebody.
Tell them what?
The organisation and a traitor. That's it.
There's a traitor inside the organisation.
Who?
I don't remember.
Stay with him. See what else you can get.
Where will you be?
Situation like this, I'll have to go and see Mother.
You must be president of anonymouses anonymous.
There's not a thing, not a single scrap of identifiication.
Nothing to tell who you are or where you've been.
But you said you knew who I am.
I do.
Sean Mortimer. You said I was Sean Mortimer.
and so you are.
What happened? Was there an accident?
Did you get hit on the head?
No, I don't think so.
You've been missing for two weeks.
a week has seven days.
Hasn't it?
and your name...
...is Mrs. Peel.
and the man who just left. Can you remember his name?
There was somebody else.
Mother?
There's always Mother.
-Morning, Giles. -Good morning, sir.
-Is Mother at home? -Yes. Hasn't been out all week.
Poor thing.
-How are the bulbs coming on? -Coming along nicely.
Sixty-nine!
Your target is over there!
-Over there! -What?
I'm terribly sorry about this, sir. Terribly sorry.
Why, it's you sir!
I do hope you understand.
These new recruits. a touch overeager.
a touch? No harm done.
-Sporting of you to take it like that. -Not at all.
Pleasure.
-Jenkins. -Good morning, sir.
Is Mother busy?
at the moment, I'm afraid so. If you'd care to wait.
-You'll tell Mother I'm here, won't you? -Immediately, sir.
I see a big building.
Dirty cobwebs.
-Glass. -Spectacles?
Or that?
I don't remember. I'm sorry.
You're doing well. Take it step by step.
-You're very patient. -Not by nature.
Let's try word association. Say the fiirst thing that comes to your mind.
-Black. -White.
-Up. -Down.
-Bed. -Sleep.
-attack? -Motorbike.
I see two motorbikes.
and two men.
Karl, here.
Sorry, I couldn't get in touch with you before. Been busy. How's it going?
Mortimer's still in Steed's apartment. Steed left some time ago.
I know. He's here now. Waiting to see Mother.
- He didn't leave Mortimer on his own? -No. The woman's with him.
That drug may be wearing off.
-lf it does and he remembers... -I know.
Move in and grab him.
and Mrs. Peel?
I'd rather she didn't have any happy memories.
Let's start again.
Here. Go get his coat.
.
-Who are you? -I'm Tara.
You didn't say it.
Say what?
I seldom do.
Everyone does when they hear my name.
Tara, you see.
Incredibly subtle.
My full name's Tara King.
Miss.
It's very nice to meet you.
You didn't think so a few minutes ago.
-That was you! -It was me.
I'm terribly sorry. I'm training here.
So I gathered.
You're John Steed, aren't you?
My feeding time is 1:30.
I'm sorry. I was staring.
-You was. -I know everything about you.
Everything?
That's on your fiile.
Your name crops up almost daily in training.
We're taught the Steed method for this and the Steed method for that.
"No. That's not the way John Steed would have done it."
Or, "Yes, exactly. That's just how John Steed would do it."
You've rather a reputation. You're the head boy. The star pupil.
You'll want my address and phone number.
I beg your pardon?
I told you I saw your fiile and it tells everything.
Even your achilles' heel.
-Rubber-soled shoes? -The opposite sex.
I wanted to write with invisible ink but couldn't fiind any.
You do want my address, don't you?
a gentleman could hardly refuse.
You're not going to put it in your wallet!
Of course not. Restricted information.
There.
-Have you two met? Simon Filson. -We've met.
-Mother will see you now. -Good. Excuse me.
Sit yourself down.
-Sorry to have kept you waiting. -That's all right.
Hot line to Washington?
Lukewarm line. Things are quiet, I'm afraid.
What are you doing here?
-Mortimer's missing. -Not anymore.
He's at my apartment.
You'd like a drink?
It's all right. I can manage.
It's the only exercise I get. Got to keep fiit.
Mortimer's on the suspect list. I suppose you know.
If a man goes missing, we must presume that he's defected.
Understandable.
-Soda? -Thank you.
-What's he doing at your place? -Trying to remember.
He's suffering from some kind of amnesia.
-Drugged? -Possibly.
-Brainwashed? -Perhaps.
He remembers there's a traitor...
...in the organisation.
-What do you need? -a team of experts standing by.
Doctors, psychiatrists, specialists in brainwashing.
They'll be here. Go and bring Mortimer in.
-Where is he? -Where is who?
and who is Sean Mortimer?
Don't be ridiculous. I left him sitting there on the sofa.
Nobody was here. Certainly nobody called Mortimer.
I would have remembered.
Have you been having hallucination?
You said he was there. How could he have gone?
Mother's going to be very cross.
John? Mother. Now, what's all this about?
It's Mortimer, sir. He's missing again.
Missing? Where's he gone?
I've no idea. He just vanished.
and that team of experts.
are they still standing by?
If Mortimer's missing, we won't need them.
They'll be needed, all right. For Mrs. Peel.
Here we are. One lump or two?
Get everything Steed requires standing by.
-What's the panic? -Steed. Bringing Mrs. Peel in.
It's rather an outré time for a party, isn't it?
He's an eccentric party-giver.
-Who did you say he was? -Mater. Professor Mater.
-What does he teach? -What's that "pology" you're interested in?
-anthro? -anthropologist! One of the best.
-I've never heard of him. -Way ahead of his time!
The boss just phoned. another job for us. Urgent.
-She's not working. -We'll take this one. Come on.
On the spur of the moment, wasn't it, this party invitation?
He's that kind of a chap. Impetuous.
and eccentric.
You said the invitation included me?
Specifiically.
How would this professor know that I'd be at your apartment?
Intuition.
Why does he want to meet me anyway?
He wants to examine you.
He wants to examine your theories.
On anthropology.
How does he know I've got any?
Look out!
are you all right?
You take her back to the glass factory.
Who are you?
.
-He should've been here hours ago. -I know!
Something's happened!
Beg your pardon, what could've happened?
He was merely bringing Mrs. Peel here.
You knowthe business. anything can happen!
We've had no contact from Steed for nearly nine hours.
according to regulations, he should...
Don't quote the regulations to me! I made them!
all right.
Put Steed's name on the suspect list.
Warn all agents he could be a possible enemy.
Burton. Get a communiqué out to all agents immediately.
-Name to add to the suspect list. -Who?
-What? -Mother's orders. Mother knows best.
-Not Steed! What's he done? -Defected to the other side.
You don't knowthat.
But Mortimer did discover a traitor in the organisation.
Even the biggest idols can have feet of clay.
This is really very strange.
Certainly a coincidence.
That we both seem to be suffering from amnesia.
-What's amnesia? -Loss of memory.
Who's lost their memory?
We have.
Sorry. I'd forgotten.
I remember the name Steed!
So do I. That must be you, then.
-It must be. -How do you do?
We're getting somewhere?
and I remember another name. Peel.
That must be me.
But what about Mother?
I keep remembering Mother.
I don't honestly think that can be either of us.
at least we know you're Steed. and I'm Peel.
Where do we go from here?
Not far, I'm afraid. The door's locked.
-There's no other way out. -There isn't, is there?
I don't actually remember but I think...
...we're prisoners.
Coming around, is he? What's your name?
Did you complete the exam?
No physical injuries, X-rays negative.
Probably drink.
What's your name?
It's really very embarrassing but...
...I can't remember.
Why were you on that country lane?
What country lane?
There's something wrong.
One drink too many, that's what's wrong with him.
Give him a sedative.
It's no good.
That's me!
But if you are me, who am I?
-I'm Emma Peel, right? -Right.
Then you must be...
Feeling better?
I would if I knew who I was.
-My pockets. -Empty.
Nothing to tell us who you are.
Would you do me a great favour?
-I'd love a cup of tea. -Of course.
-Where do you think you're going? -Out.
No. There are still some enquiries to be made about you.
Tara King.
9 Primrose Crescent.
We've had news of Steed.
a man answering his description attacked a doctor.
Looks as though I was right.
You assume too much. You really do.
Don't move.
Is your name King? Tara King?
Don't be alarmed. I want to talk, that's all. Just talk.
I suppose you know you're on the wanted list.
I knew it!
The way I opened that lock as if I've been doing it all my life.
I'm a burglar!
They think you've defected.
-Who are they? -The organisation.
Simon says you've let Mother down badly.
It must be a thoroughly bad lot.
You are John Steed.
Who's he?
He loves me.
He loves me not.
Me?
Do you remember who he is?
We were going to a party, just driving along.
and then there were two men.
On motorbikes?
-We've got to fiind a way out of here. -No chance.
No chance at all.
I'm John Steed.
I work with Mother.
Still something missing. There was...
-...a woman. -Me?
No.
But there was a woman.
My apartment!
That's where it all started, my apartment.
Where is it?
Don't you remember?
-Don't you? -I told you.
You're a secret agent. Your address is restricted...
Couldn't you fiind out?
-I suppose I could... -Good girl!
I'll wait here. Phone me as soon as you have it!
-I found it. -Go ahead.
You live at 3 Stable Mews.
Thank you very much, Miss...
What do you think you're doing here?
He's on the wanted list, isn't he?
If I'm going to help catch him, I'll have to fiind out all I can about him.
Won't I?
"anecdote."
Must call headquarters.
Where is headquarters?
I'm sorry to bother you again but I want to contact Mother.
-Got the number? -You're on the wanted list.
You told me that. The phone number?
-anyone on the list. Turn them in. -We've been through that.
You offered to help. Surely you haven't forgotten.
Sorry, but it's the rules.
See you're using the single-handed death grip.
It's recommended.
Your judo master teach you the counter to it?
Highly recommended.
I hate to do this to you. I just want to send you to sleep.
Mother's address.
There.
That's far enough.
Mother? Sorry to disturb you.
I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up.
Mother's not here.
Gone into hiding.
I'm not surprised. Mother is vulnerable at the best of times.
With the possibility of a traitor in the organisation.
I thought we'd found our traitor.
Perhaps it'd be a good idea to hear me out.
Go ahead.
There are gaps.
Blanks in my memory.
But there's one thing I do recall and that's Mrs. Peel.
I was driving her along...
...trying to fiind...
Somewhere.
-You were bringing her here for tests. -Of course!
We were ambushed on the road. There were two men. That's right.
One of them said to the other, "Take her to the glass house."
You remember the glass house? That's where we did our basic training!
The glass house. The glass factory!
I remember it.
Haven't been there for ages. It'll be nice to see the old place again.
Yes, won't it?
Hold it.
I'm going along with you but I haven't bought your story, understand?
You want the next left turn.
-You sure this will work? -I'm not. at least it's a try.
But supposing he...
-Made us square. -Not quite. We've got this.
Filson here, sir. Sorry to disturb you so late.
Steed's just left, sir.
I wasn't compis mentis, sir.
I'm not sure. It looks like he's taken Burton.
-It was the other way around. -What?
It seems conclusive. Using Burton as a hostage.
Steed's the traitor.
He fiired a dart at me. It erases your memory.
Miss King's confiirming it. Steed fiired a dart.
You fool! Burton's the traitor!
It can't be far now.
Quarter of a mile or so.
Your directions were faultless, which I must say is surprising.
I don't think I'd remember howto get here.
It's been a long time since we used this place.
Before you joined the organisation.
Remarkable you should know it so well.
When did you defect to the other side?
Sean found out you'd defected and you used a drug against him.
-That's right. -Why didn't you kill him?
a killing would've stirred up too much.
My orders were to test the drug. It works. Erases the memory.
Only temporarily.
It varies from person to person, according to the dose used.
It's close to perfection.
Meanwhile, a bullet erases the memory completely.
Looks like I'll have to do the job myself.
There's a well over there.
-Good place to hide a body. -Very good place.
amazing thing! The ringleader had a head start on me.
There was nothing to stop him getting away and suddenly, he didn't get away.
Think he forgot to. Talking of forgetting...
Just to remind me, are you the man who...
-I'm afraid so. -It's very important. I must tell somebody.
There's a traitor in the organisation!
and who are you?
Yes, Mother. I've seen the papers.
It looks as though I'll be needing a replacement.
as soon as possible.
You know my taste.
I'll trust your judgement.
-You've seen the papers? -Yes.
Trust him to make a dramatic reappearance.
-Found in a jungle. -The amazonian jungle.
-Corny. -Ridiculous!
They've flown him back.
He'll be picking me up in a few minutes.
Here?
always keep your bowler on in times of stress.
and watch out for diabolical masterminds.
I'll remember.
Goodbye.
Thanks.
-Excuse me. apartment 3? -at the top of the stairs.
He likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise.
Mother sent me.
Tea?
.
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