- HI, I'M PHIL HENDRIE, AND WELCOME TO DRUNK HISTORY
ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
TONIGHT, THE STORY OF DANIEL INOUYE.
CHEERS.
DANIEL INOUYE IS PUTTING HIS TIE ON ONE BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY MORNING
WHEN SUDDENLY HIS FATHER'S IN THE HALLWAY.
AND HIS DAD'S LIKE, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT'S NOT A JOKE.
PEARL HARBOR'S BEEN ATTACKED.
WE'RE [bleep]. AMERICA'S BOMBED.
HAWAII IS BOMBED.
PEARL HARBOR IS BOMBED.
BANG, DOWN HE GOES INTO HONOLULU,
AND HE WAS THE FIRST GUY IN LINE TO ENLIST.
AND THEY CAME OUT AND SAID, YOU CAN'T ENLIST.
INOUYE'S LIKE, WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A JAP.
YOU KNOW, IT SUCKS.
THAT JUST BLEW HIS [bleep] MIND.
HE WAS, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M READY TO ROCK AND ROLL ON THIS [bleep], YOU KNOW.
WHY CAN'T JAPANESE-AMERICANS FIGHT?
WELL, THIS WAS BULL [bleep] BECAUSE NOT A ONE
OF THESE PEOPLE HAD PROVEN THEMSELVES
TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOYAL [bleep] AMERICANS.
IT WASN'T UNTIL 1943 WHEN FINALLY THE 442 WAS ORGANIZED.
WE ARE THE GO FOR BROKE JAPANESE-AMERICAN UNIT,
THE REGINAL INNERMINT--
INTERNET-- THE INTERNET REGIMENT TEAM.
WHOO, MAN.
[laughter]
THE 442 INFANTRY REGIMENT UNITED STATES REGIMENT.
MOST OF THE 442 CAME FROM HAWAII.
WHAT THE [bleep] IS THAT?
- WELL, WE'RE GONNA BUILD THE SCENE.
LET'S SEE IF WE GOT-- - OH, I SEE.
- WE'RE GONNA HIDE THERE. - WHAT THE [bleep] IS THIS?
HE'S PLAYING A GUITAR.
LOOK AT THIS ONE.
- OH, YEAH. IS THAT LA BAMBA?
- HE'S--YEAH, HE'S DOING A GUITAR MOVE HERE, YOU SEE?
HE'S JUST, YEAH.
SO THE FIGHTING IN ITALY WAS BRUTALITY UNCHAINED.
THERE WAS MOUNTAIN FIGHTING.
IT WAS SLOW, PLODDING, DEADLY WARFARE.
DANIEL IS A--HE'S A LIEUTENANT, SO HE'S LEADING A PLATOON.
IT'S APRIL OF 1945.
THE OBJECTIVE,
WE GOT TO CLEAR THESE MACHINE GUN NESTS.
WHAT THE [bleep], YOU KNOW.
LET'S SEND THESE JAPANESE GUYS IN.
LET'S SEE WHAT THEY CAN DO, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, GO OUT, KICK ASS, TAKE NAMES.
[bleep] THEM UP.
YOU KNOW, LET'S GO, MAN.
INOUYE LEADS HIS PLATOON UP THIS RIDGE.
GRADUALLY, HE SEES HIS MEN BEHIND HIM GETTING KILLED.
INOUYE BY THIS POINT SAYS, MY MEN ARE SITTING DUCKS.
BUT INOUYE IS THE OFFICER, AND HE'S DANIEL INOUYE.
HE SAYS, OKAY, [bleep] IT.
I GOT A-- I GOT A BAG FULL OF GRENADES.
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER SHOT.
BY HIMSELF, HE KEPT ADVANCING.
IT'S LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A [bleep] MOVIE.
THE GUY'S THROWING GRENADES AND FIRING A MACHINE GUN.
THROWING GRENADES AND FIRING A MACHINE GUN.
BOOM, HE TAKE OUT ONE NEST WITH HAND GRENADES
AND ANOTHER NEST WITH SMALL ARMS FIRING HAND GRENADES.
AND NOW COMES THE THIRD MACHINE GUN NEST.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO FINISH THAT, BY THE WAY.
THERE'S NO--
- OH, I MIGHT AS WELL GO AHEAD AND DO IT TO IT, YEAH.
THAT'S THE GOOD-- THAT'S THE BABY.
BOOM!
AS HE GOES TO TAKE THE THIRD, BANG.
HE TOOK A BULLET THROUGH THE STOMACH.
HE LOOKED DOWN.
HE SAID, I FEEL OKAY, SO I'LL KEEP GOING.
RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT COMES A RIFLE-PROPELLED GRENADE.
BOOM!
THIS ARM IS NOW SHREDDED.
WHEN HE LOOKED DOWN, HE SAID,
THERE'S A [bleep] ARM NEXT TO ME
AND THERE'S A HAND GRENADE IN THAT MOTHER[bleep].
HE SAYS, JESUS H. CHRIST.
I BETTER THROW THIS GRENADE.
HE GRABS THE GRENADE,
THROWS IT INTO THIS MACHINE GUN NEST HERE.
AND THEN, BOOM.
DEAD.
HE CRAWLED BEHIND A TREE, AND HE STAYED THERE NINE HOURS.
FINALLY, BY MIDNIGHT, INOUYE WAS TAKEN DOWNHILL.
GUYS ARE COMING UP TO HIM GOING, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?
WHAT?
THE [bleep] ARM IS GONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, MAN.
THE RIGHT ARM IS NOT THERE.
ALL RIGHT, SO IT'S NOT [bleep] THERE.
WELL, WHAT THE [bleep]?
OH, JEEZ, THIS GUY WITH THE [bleep] ARM.
YOU LOVE HIM? THE ARM'S GONE.
IT'S GONE. I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WANT TO GO UP AND LOOK FOR IT, BILLY,
YOU CAN GO UP AND LOOK FOR IT.
BUT I'M GOING, AND I'M GONNA GET SOME CHOW
AND THEN I'M GETTING MY [bleep] ASS OUT OF HERE.
I LOVE HOW THIS CAT JUST KEEPS IT TOGETHER.
I'M [bleep] HAMMERED, MAN, ON THIS [bleep],
AND HE'S ALL, "YEAH, HEY, WHAT'S UP?"
AFTER THE WAR, THE 442 WAS THE MOST DECORATED UNIT
IN THE HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN ARMY.
BUT THE PREJUDICE AGAINST JAPANESE-AMERICANS CONTINUED.
HE SAID, GOD DAMN IT,
IF THOSE MOTHER[bleep] DON'T BELIEVE IT YET,
WE'VE JUST PROVEN WE'RE [bleep] PATRIOTS, MAN.
WE KICKED ASS. WE LOST OUR [bleep] ARMS.
WHAT IS GOING ON, YOU KNOW?
[bleep] YOU.
WE NEED REPRESENTATION OF THE JAPANESE-AMERICANS.
AND NOW BEGAN DANIEL INOUYE'S CAREER
AS THE VERY FIRST JAPANESE-AMERICAN REPRESENTATIVE
IN THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS.
AND WHEN DANIEL INOUYE DIED, PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID,
DANIEL INOUYE WAS AN INSPIRATION TO ME,
AND WITHOUT HIM, I WOULD NOT BE IN POLITICS.
- ALL RIGHT, TO A TRUE PATRIOT.
- RIGHT ON, MAN.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, MAN.
- NOTHING. - NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
HE OVERCAME THE PREJUDICE OF THIS--THE PREJU-
[laughs]
YOU DIRTY MOTHER[bleep].