♪♪
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
♪ Sometimes some crimes
♪ Go slippin' through the cracks
♪ But these two gumshoes
♪ Are pickin' up the slack
♪ There's no case too big, no case too small
♪ When you need help, just call
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's
♪ Rescue Rangers
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale
♪ When there's danger
♪ No, no, it never fails
♪ 'Cause once they're involved
♪ Somehow whatever's wrong gets solved
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale
♪ Rescue Rangers
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale
♪ When there's danger
♪ No, no, it never fails
♪ They'll take the clues
♪ And find the wheres and whys and whos
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale
♪ Rescue Rangers
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale
♪ When there's danger
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
NARRATOR: Previously on Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers.
That scoundrel up ahead stole the Clutchcoin Ruby necklace.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
All right, my lovely Fat Cat.
Now it's time for you to make Drake's life extremely uncomfortable.
I don't believe it!
The Detective, a thief?
Take a moment to appreciate it, gentlemen.
I got the ruby and Drake got the blame.
Hey, maybe Dale and I can do it.
You, do police work?
Wow, Fat Cat, you got the ruby!
He has a gang?
(GASPS)
My ruby! Get them!
Now see what your goofing off got us into?
I don't know who you are and I don't care.
But when you cross Fat Cat,
you go splat.
I do hope they hose down the sidewalk in the morning.
(CHUCKLING)
FAT CAT: Come on, boys. We have an appointment in Chinatown.
(CREAKING)
(GASPS)
Hey, Chip, uh, maybe this detective stuff isn't so easy.
Don't panic, Dale. There's gotta be a way down.
I know there's a way down, but I don't wanna take it!
DALE: I wanna go home!
CHIP: Pistachio!
I was afraid he'd do something like that.
(SCREAMING)
I got you! I got you!
(CRASHING)
(CHITTERING)
Wowie zowie! Captain Spiffo and the Attack of the Tentacled Titan!
Now, who'd wanna throw this away?
Will you quit goofing off?
Your fooling around in the casino almost got us killed!
Well, I... I didn't mean to. I was just...
Remember what Plato said. This isn't a game!
We've got to get that ruby back!
(CREAKING)
(THUDDING)
Are you sure you've got the entire payment ready for the twins?
Yes, sir, Fat Cat! It's all right here.
Good. If they thought we shortchanged them,
they'd hang our skins out to dry.
But how are we gonna get to Chinatown, Fat Cat?
Simple. I ordered us a pizza.
I don't get it, boss.
Then close your mouth, open your eyes
and look over there, my little bumpkin.
Oh, come on. Answer the door! Answer the door!
Well, hurry up, hurry up. Get in.
I should have known it was a phony order.
Who'd want a pizza with triple anchovies?
Oh, well. Next stop, Chinatown.
Quick! We've got to follow them!
I'll say! I'm starving.
Come on, walnut-head!
(EXCLAIMS)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Sir! Madam! Wait for me!
They're right in front of us! Step on it.
You got it, Chipper.
Goodness!
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
(RADIO CRACKLING)
Hey, Chip. Wanna dance?
Quit goofing around, Dale! I'm trying to drive.
(SQUEALING)
(GRUNTING)
Dash it! The lads aren't back yet.
(GRUNTS)
Oh, something must have happened.
I shouldn't have sent them.
I've got to find a way out!
Hello? Pizza dude. Anybody here?
Why do I get all the practical jokers?
Tsk, tsk.
Humans are such testy animals.
Absolutely no sense of humor.
Boy, this just hasn't been my night.
BOTH: Oops!
PIZZA BOY: That's it. I quit.
Look.
Fat Cat went in there.
(PANTING)
Sir, madam, allow me.
Oh, Errol, what a delightful ride.
Reminds me of our honeymoon.
Neat-o!
DALE: Hey, look, Chip. I'm surfing!
(GASPS)
(CRASHING)
Cowabunga! Some fun, huh, Chip?
Is that all you can think about, fun?
First in the casino, then in the car,
and now with that stupid scrub brush!
All you want to do is goof around!
But, Chip, I thought you liked goofing around, too.
Well, yeah, but not now!
I got serious work to do.
So why don't you just go home?
B-But, Chip! Chip?
Now, to get that ruby.
So, you've come to bet on the fighting fish?
The matches have already started.
Fighting fish?
No. I have business with the Siamese twins.
(GASPS)
Oh, the Siamese twins!
All right, hop on.
All aboard!
ANNOUNCER: And now both boys are circling in the middle of the ring.
Oh, there's a mean left fin to the jaw!
And another and another.
What a grudge match.
(EXCLAIMING)
Now the champ has come back with a nice hitch kick to the gills.
There's an aquatic somersault, and ka-pow!
It's all over but the bubbling.
(CLAMORING)
Oh, can't we stay and watch the next match, boss?
It'd be fun.
No, Meps, we'll have fun later
when I use you for a scratching post.
(SOBBING)
Gee, maybe Chip's right.
Maybe I do goof around too much.
But, doggone it, that's what I do best!
Can I humbly help you?
Fat Cat here to see the twins.
Please to be waiting here kindly.
I shall announce you.
I'm going to get that ruby if it's the last thing I do!
What if it is the last thing I do?
(GONG PEALS)
Ah, at last.
CAT: Announcing their most celestial and important selves,
the Siamese twins!
Now remember, status and dignity are everything to these cats,
so let me do all the talking.
You sparrow-brains just behave.
One improper move and they'll slice us to ribbons!
Ah, ladies! What an honor to deal with you both.
BOTH: The honor is all ours, Mr. Fat.
So, you have come to purr-chase the incomparable Juice Lee.
Yes, he's a very important part of my master plan.
BOTH: Ah, and you are going to pay for it with this?
Purr-fect, purr-fect.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Uh...
Actually, uh, no.
This little trinket is mine.
(FAT CAT CLEARS THROAT)
Your payment is right here, ladies.
The suitcase, the suitcase!
I believe it's all here.
Two hundred fins.
BOTH: Fishies!
And now for your purr-chase.
Presenting Juice Lee,
number one Siamese fighting fish.
(EXCLAIMS)
Gee, he sure breaks boards well, boss,
but how do we know he can handle himself in a fight?
Clam up, Mole!
BOTH: No, no. Your doubts are understandable.
Purr-haps a demonstration is in order.
Come, Mr. Fat!
Why can't they just stay still?
Gosh, thanks.
(SNARLING)
At least they left me the bone.
SIAMESE TWINS: You see, Mr. Fat,
the piranha is a most dangerous and formidable fish.
Now we show you what Juice Lee can do.
Uh, you're sure about this?
BOTH: Purr-fectly sure.
(ALL CLAMORING)
-(GRUMBLING) - All right! Come on, baby!
BOTH: You are satisfied, Mr. Fat?
Purr-fectly.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boat to catch.
Oh, no, you don't.
(BOTH GASP)
(RIPPING)
(EXCLAIMING)
(MUTTERING)
(COUGHING)
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Cowabunga!
(BOTH YELPING)
Dale, you came back!
Yeah.
No!
Thanks, Dale.
I'm sorry I yelled at you for goofing off.
Oh, that's okay, Chip.
Without me, you'd have to yell at yourself.
(LAUGHS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
BOTH: Enough of this foolishness!
Destroy those chipmunks!
(BOTH GASPING)
Our fish!
Save them! Save them!
Partner, when it comes to goofing off like that,
you can do it anytime.
This looks like an excellent time to exit this fiasco.
Last one to the docks is a rotten swine.
Come on, Dale. They're getting away!
Ah!
This ship looks large enough for my plans.
But, boss, how are we gonna get past those sailors?
Details, details.
Man, there's nothing more boring than standing watch.
What's that?
It's some sort of a fish.
Say, he's kind of cute.
BOTH: Hey!
BOTH: Ouch!
Bon voyage! Now the ship is mine.
What does Fat Cat want with a cargo boat?
Who cares? We just gotta get that ruby.
Wonderful job, Juice Lee!
And with your continued help,
I'll soon have this ship overflowing with stolen fish.
But first, we must clear out the cargo hold.
Meps, get me some rope.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
W-What do we do now, Chip?
Well, this is just a shot in the dark, Dale, but I'd probably say,
don't let go!
MONTEREY: Crikey! Where's that ruddy crowbar?
Thought I left it under the pool table.
Oh, there it is.
Hurry along, Zipper, old pal. We have a date with a crate.
(SQUEAKING)
There's only one thing I like more than cheese,
nothin'.
Ah, cheddar! My favorite!
(SQUEAKING)
Well, Swiss is my favorite, too.
(SQUEAKING)
Yes, and Gouda.
All right, so they're all my favorite!
Right!
Cheese!
(CHIP AND DALE SCREAMING)
Hey, look, Chip, we landed on something soft!
Whose blinkin' foot is this?
(LAUGHING)
Uh, sorry. We didn't mean to drop in like that, it's just that...
No one bushwhacks Monterey Jack and gets away with it!
Buzz off!
Hey, Zipper, buzz off!
(CHUCKLING)
Get it? "Buzz off!"
We can't let him get away with that!
But, Chip, what about the ruby?
We'll get the ruby, but first, we're gonna get him!
Right!
(WHISPERING)
BOTH: Break!
That'll teach them to come between a man and his cheese.
(SQUEAKING)
All right, all right, a mouse and his cheese.
Don't get your wings in a tangle.
Holy Emmenthaler!
What a waste of good Swiss.
So, it's a punch-up you want.
Well, you came to the right bloke.
(MONTEREY LAUGHING)
(FIGHTING)
(SCREAMING)
Good fighters, but no stayin' power.
Hmm. Pity.
(EXCLAIMS)
You know, I'm beginnin' to like those guys.
What do you say, mates? Shake hands?
What do you think?
Okay.
You boys have got quite a punch there.
By the way, my name's Chip, and this is Dale.
Pleased to meet you, boyos!
Monterey Jack's the name, and hunting cheese is my game.
I've sailed three oceans, seven seas, and a couple of puddles,
all in search of the perfect wedge. Ha!
Come on back to my place,
and I'll throw another shrimp on the fondue.
Is that where you live?
Too right! Been my home since before I can remember.
Huh?
DALE: What's going on?
Fat Cat.
Hey, my house!
Hey, who's offloading my house?
It's Fat Cat's gang!
Where do you want it, Fat Cat?
No need to be neat. I just want the hold empty.
Dump it overboard.
MONTEREY: Look out below!
My home! I can't let it sink.
No, Monterey! Don't.
Now, my little finny fighter,
it's time for you to lead my underwater fishing expedition.
What are you two gentlemen waiting for?
What a catch.
(GRUNTING)
Hope there's enough room in the hold.
(CHUCKLING) Like I always say, one good tuna deserves another,
and another and another and another!
But, Fat Cat, what are you going to do with all them fishies?
Wart, Wart, Wart.
The answer is as simple as you are.
If I own all the fish in town,
then I'll be able to control
all the cats in town!
Chip, he's gone.
CHIP: He was a gallant mouse.
(WHOOPING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Gee, Monty, uh, we thought you were a goner.
Takes more than an ocean to stop me, mate!
But my trunk's gone to Davy Jones' locker.
This was all I could save.
Monty, can you get us back to the ship?
We've got to catch up with Fat Cat!
If you mean that bucktoothed, bandy-legged bozo that sunk my house,
then I want a piece of him, too!
If you need that ruby to help a human out of jail,
it's your business.
But I'm not lettin' that cat get away with dumpin' my stuff.
All right, here's my plan.
Crikey, Chip, this is no time for a plan!
It's time for some action!
But, Monterey...
Hey, get back here!
Sorry, mates, but Monterey Jack takes orders from no one!
He's going to get himself hurt, rushing in like that!
(EXCLAIMS)
(CHUCKLING) He missed.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
MOLE: Hey, what's going on here?
(EXCLAIMING)
What are you dunderheads doing down there?
I don't know, boss.
How many guesses do we get?
MONTEREY: Hey, fatso!
I'm gonna knock you into next Tuesday!
Would you mind stepping over here for a moment?
Sure, boss. Why?
(WHOOPING IN SURPRISE)
(GROWLING)
I am not a happy kitty.
And when I'm not happy, I get mean!
CHIP AND DALE: Coming through!
Oh, shucks, we missed the ruby.
Thanks, buckos.
I guess I should have listened to your plan, Chipper.
Yep, Monty. That way, nobody gets hurt.
(SCREAMING)
When I get my claws on those two troublemakers...
FAT CAT: Ah! My machine!
(WHOOPING)
You... You... You've ruined my plans!
Yeah? And what are you going to do about it, fish-breath?
I'll tell you what I...
(GASPING) Run!
Guess old Monterey Jack was too much for them!
(SQUEAKING)
CHIP: Maybe playing detectives wasn't such a good idea after all!
(NARRATOR SPEAKING)