--==FC电影俱乐部http://beyongfc.com/==-- 翻译：神月流星 压制：神月流星
（语音信箱）嗨，这里是史都华普林斯医师诊所。 (voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the office of Dr. Stuart Price.
请注意，诊所在24号前都不会营业 Please note the office will be closed until the 24th.
如果有紧急情况，请... If this is an emergency, please try...
（语音信箱）嗨！我是史都华普林斯医师。 我要结婚了。 (电话拨出声) (phone dialing) (voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price. I'm getting married.
所以我会出国两个星期。 So I'll be out of the country for 2 weeks.
我不知道到时候手机还收的收不到 I'm not sure if I'll have cell service.
如果是牙科急诊 ... If this is a dental emergency...
没回应 Nothing.
（泰文） (speaking in Thai)
老爸，拜托！你在帮倒忙！ Daddy, please! You're not helping!
我看过他的眼睛。 那不是男人的眼神。 I looked into his eyes. Not the eyes of a man.
那是懦夫的眼神 The eyes of a coward.
（泰文） (speaking in Thai again)
不好意思 Excuse me!
- 菲尔！ - 崔西！ - Bill! - Tracy!
- 对不起！ - 你到底在哪里？ - I'm sorry! - Where the hell are you?
我们又出乱子了！ It happened again!
不会吧 Don't say that, please!
这一次，我们真的搞砸了。 No this time we really fucked up.
说真的！你们3个到底搞什么飞机呀？ Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
太复杂了，我不知从何说起 So much Trace, I don't even know where to begin.
哦，天啊！有多糟糕？ Oh god! How bad?
- 像是....无法举办婚礼？ - 啊... - Like, no wedding bad? - Yeah...
还更糟一点点。 a little worse than that.
THE HANGOVER PART II
一个星期前 ONE WEEK EARLIER
嗯，嗯。 Uh, huh.
- 你真的该多用牙线。 - 谁鸟它！不然我来这里干嘛。 - You really need to floss more. - Fuck that! That's why I come here.
- 那你应该每两年多来几次！ - 为什么？这样你就可以榨乾我的钱吗？ - Then you should come more than once every two years! - Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
我从来没收过你一毛钱，菲尔！ I never charge you a dime, Phil!
- 嘿，怎么没给我麻醉一下？ - 啊，其实你用不到。 - Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Ah, you don't actually.
来啦！弄一下！ Come on! Just one hit!
牙齿补得很好。还有其他问题吗？ Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
有。你要在泰国结婚了。 Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand.
一开始来说，我和与Steph需要飞出去。 两个重点就在这里了。 For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there.
然后，我岳母要带孩子。因此， 现在我的脑袋塞满了这件事。 Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
另外，需要五天的时间才能到达那里。 Plus, takes five days to get there.
只要飞16的小时就到了。 你到那里就会知道那是个美丽的地方 It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there.
- 不管怎样，就是很麻烦！ - 是有点远。 - Whatever, it's a hassle! - It is kinda far.
萝拉已经过去一个星期了，她还是有时差反应。 Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet lagged.
但那是她父母的故乡 对他们意义很大。 But it's where her parents are from and it means a lot to them.
谁鸟他爸妈！ 她爸讨厌你！ Who gives a shit about her parents! Her dad hates you!
他不讨厌我！ 他只是从来没有跟我说过话 ... He doesn't hate me! He's just never spoken to me...
...我认为这是文化的关系。 ...I think it's a cultural thing.
为什么你就不能像上次在赌城结婚一样 不就简单多了 Why can't you just get married in Vegas like you did the last time. It's so much easier.
为什么你就不能替我感到兴奋？ Why can't you just be excited for me?
这是我的婚礼！ This is my wedding!
- 你真的很开心，对吧？ - 没错。 - You're really happy, huh? - I really am.
好吧... Alright...
...我也很开心。 ...I'm happy too.
- 谢谢你！ - 会很好玩的。 - Thank you! - Gonna be fun.
菲尔。把处方笺拿回来。 Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
- 谢谢。你知道这是犯法的吧？ - 操你妈的！ - Thank you. You know that's a felony right? - Fuck you, man!
- 你把它放在你蛋蛋旁边吗？ - 没错。 - Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep.
- 哦，天啊，我现在才发现。 - 什么？ - Oh my god, I just realized. - What?
- 我忘了申请延长护照期限！ - 哦，不... - I forgot to renew my passport! - Oh no...
还好我上星期去申请了。它放在厨房的抽屉。 Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer.
- 你是最棒的！ - 嘿！我们是一起的！ - You're the best! - Hey! We're a team!
你是个好人。像一个真正的好人！ You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
谢谢！ Thank you!
- 我知道你不会生气。 - 疯了吗？什么，生什么气？ - So I know you're not gonna get mad. - Mad? What, mad at what?
艾伦发现，我们将去泰国 参加史都的婚礼。 Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding.
- 那又怎样??？ - 因此，他的心碎了 道格。你们就像他的家人！ - So? - So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
不 你的家人才像他的家人。 No. Your family is like his family.
艾伦一直再说你们三个。 All Alan talks about is the three of you.
- 还有这个周末。 - 等一下 ... - And that weekend. - Wait a second...
- 他是不是一直打电话来再挂断？ - 当他不快乐时 他就这么做。 - Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up? - He does that when he's upset.
他不明白他为什么不被邀请。 He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
你能不能透过史都邀请他？透过他。 Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
为我邀请他 ... For me...
他妈的没有办法！绝对不可能！ No fucking way! Absolutely not!
拜托屎哥，这会杀了他。 Come on Stu, it's killing him.
老实说，你们两个人也几乎不算被邀请。 Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
我明白了。真的。这只是，你知道吗 ... I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
艾伦认为你是他的一个最好的朋友。 Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
我认为艾伦是疯了。 I consider Alan to be insane.
史都，给他一点希望嘛！我们已经表示，他吃的和他打坏的都得付钱。 Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
你知道吗。我们可以看到，如果我们从那老人身上榨出办单身派对的钱。 You know what. We should see if we can squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party.
- 这很好。 - 我很高兴你提到这个。 - That's good. - I'm glad you brought that up.
- 因为 ...这就是单身派对！ - 什么？ - Because... this is the bachelor party! - What?
- 你在说什么啊？ - 是的，这就是我的光棍早午餐！ - What are you talking about? - Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
疯一下。拿一些巧克力煎饼 ...服务生跳一下艳舞 ... Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a lap dance from the waitress...
这是狗屎！你不能只跳过了单身派对，史都。 That's bullshit! You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.
你看到了吗？这是柳橙汁 餐巾放在上面。 You see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top.
你知道为什么吗？因此，没有人会拒绝我。 Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
为什么我会在一个单身派对 拒绝吃他妈的哈密瓜？ Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party?
- 拜托 史都。难道你不觉得你过度反应了？ - 不，我不觉得。 - C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting? - No, I don't.
我还是在将我破碎的心灵碎片重新黏到一起。 I'm still putting the pieces of my broken psyche back together.
而你知道什么是胶水吗？ 是萝拉！ 我不会做任何事来搞砸它。 And you know what the glue is? Lauren! I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
- 哦，拜托。如果没有我们 你甚至不会跟她在一起。 - 噢，这将会很好。 - Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us. - Oh, this'll be good.
史都，想想吧！ Stu, think about it!
你和蒙莉莎分手，两年后 你遇见真正的心灵伴侣。 You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later you met your true soul mate.
你去拉斯维加斯才走出这个关系，你本来会娶到一个 。 You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt.
噢，那没关系。我可以说那个。因为这是单身派对。 Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party.
大家喝起来。 Drink up everybody.
哦，等等，没有酒精！我忘了 我们现在在一家他妈的IHOP餐厅！ Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot we're at a fuckin IHOP!
那么这是我的决定，就这样，所以...举杯庆祝一下如何？ Well it's my decision and it's final, so... how bout a toast?
烂毙了。我要在车里等。 This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
- 来吧 菲尔，你要去哪？ - 道，道格，我还是不明白！ - C'mon Phil, where you going? - Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
他要去泰国结婚！非常适合他，但我们呢？ He's getting married in Thailand! That's great for him, but what about us?
你真是自私！来吧，亲爱的... You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
不知羞耻的小贱人！ Shame on you!
不用担心史都。我会支持你 不论如何。 Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what.
谢谢。 Thank you.
但你得帮我这个艾伦的事。 But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
伙计们，我无法告诉你们 这对他多么 ... Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
艾伦一直在等待婚礼的邀请 当他一听到婚礼的消息。 Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got word of the wedding.
- 我相信他会。 - 是啊。 - I'm sure he has. - Yeah.
每天都站在外面的信箱。 Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
- 嗯 这倒是很难的。 - 是啊。 - Well that's tough. - Yeah.
我，嗯，我不知道他是否会离开拉斯维加斯。 I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
他真的需要这个。 He really needs this.
什么？ What?
亲爱的，是爸爸！你有客人！ 谈慢一点 Sweetie, papa! You have visitors! Go in slowly.
给他一个机会重新调整。 Give him a chance to acclimate.
- 嘿，艾伦！ - 嗨，伙计们！嘿，菲尔！ - Hey, Alan! - Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
嘿，兄弟！ Hey, bud!
- 你们要进来吗？ - 当然。绝对要。 - You guys wanna come in? - Sure. Absolutely.
- 嘿。 - 嘿。 - Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿，史都！ - 确定。在球场上等你在半... - Hey, Stu! - Ok. See you on the court in half...
- 很酷的房间，艾伦！ - 谢谢，菲尔！我爸爸支付房租。 - Pretty cool room, Alan! - Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
艾伦，搞甚么！你应该删掉这些照片！ Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed to delete these!
你承诺过的！ You made a promise!
哇，哇，哇！ Whoa, whoa, whoa!
搞啥啊？看到这我怎么能冷静 你不能留下这些东西 What the hell? I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these.
放松，史都！从来没人会来这里。 Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
- 违背了我们之间的信赖！ - 妈，我吃完了午餐。我坐在这里等你！ - A total violation of trust! - Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
对不起，亲爱的。我马上上来。 I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
-真不敢相信你们还在这儿，太好了！ -等着哥！ - I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool. - Wait a second!
- 艾伦，这是周先生吗？ - 是啊。我们仍然保持联络。 - Al, is that Mr. Chow? - Yeah. We still keep in touch.
史都！ Stu!
老周？那个绑架我们的家伙？ Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
他没有绑架我们。他绑架的是黑色的道格。 He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
还记得吗？这整个就是个大误会。 Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
他其实很迷人。 He's actually quite charming.
- 艾伦，他是一个罪犯。 - 不好意思，孩子们！ - Alan, he's a criminal. - Excuse me, boys!
- 嗨，琳达！ - 嗨，小道！ - Hi, Linda! - Hi, Dougie!
我以为我们没有点心了。我没收到通知。 I guess we don't do desert anymore. I didn't get that memo.
对不起，亲爱的。我马上就回来。 I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
多放个蛋糕会杀了你？ Would a cupcake kill you?
- 你知道，我不认为这是一个好主意。 - 艾伦，我们有一点点惊喜要给你。 - You know, I don't think this was a good idea. - Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
史都想邀请你参加他的婚礼。 Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
- 嗯，如果你不太忙的话。 - 史都！ - Well only if you're not busy. - Stu!
嗯，也许乔纳斯兄弟在城里演唱。 Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
不。他们这周在Raleigh - Durham。 Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
你真的是认真的吗，史都？ 真的要邀请我吗？ Are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me?
是啊，为什么不呢？这会很好玩，对不对？ Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
- 菲尔，你去不去？ - 当然！ - Phil, are you going? - Of course!
然后，这会很有趣。 Then it will be fun.
你他妈的你在干什么，伙计？ What the fuck are you doing, man?
这是我的免疫接种。这是我最后能做到一点。 It's my immunizations. It's the last day I can do it.
这应该是由一个注册护士来做。 That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
我是一名护士。只要没有登记。 I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
史都，看看这个！ 我买了这个，因为我想到了你！ Stu, look at this! I bought this cause I thought of you!
- 嘿，他在那儿！ - 嘿，史都！ - Hey, there he is! - Hey, Stu!
- 泰迪！还好吧？你好吗？ - 嘿 史都。 - Teddy! What's up? How are ya? - Hey Stu.
- 好吧。谁是这家伙，史都？ - 这是泰迪。萝拉的弟弟。 - Alright. Who's this guy, Stu? - This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
斯坦福大学。医学预科。这是 菲尔，艾伦和道格。 Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is Phil, Alan and Doug.
嘿，很高兴见到你，老兄！ Hey, nice to meet you, man!
哇，斯坦福？你多大了？ Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
- 他17岁大。天才的一种。 - 其实，我是16。 - He's 17. Kind of a genius. - Actually, I'm 16.
我不是天才。我爸爸之前才叫我去考入学考试。 I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early.
因为你是个天才。 Because you're a genius.
- 那么，你是医生吗？ - 不，还没有。我是医学预科。 - So what are you, a doctor? - No, not yet. I'm premed.
- 你听过那个家伙 叫杜奇豪瑟？ - 是啊。 - Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? - Yeah.
- 哦，他出柜成为同性恋。 - 艾伦。 - Well, he turned out to be a gay. - Alan.
这是真的，我在Teen People读到过。 It's true, I read it in Teen People.
对，好...我要拿本书或什么东西上飞机。你们想要什么？ Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane. You guys want anything?
- 不，谢谢。我很好。 - 我真的喜爱小瓶水。 - No, thanks. I'm good. - I would actually love a small water.
酷。 Cool.
- 你是怎么回事。他才16岁。 - 是啊，艾伦。别紧张！ - What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old. - Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
我有点煳涂了。他在这儿只是要替我们送行或什么。这是如何进行的？ I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what. How does this work?
- 什么东西如何进行？ - 他是要去参加婚礼吗？ - How does what work? - Is that person coming to the wedding?
是的 艾伦。我的新娘的小弟弟是要去参加婚礼。你觉得可以吗？ Yes Alan. My brides little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
嗯，这是我第一次听说过。 你可以再传呼我。 Well, it's the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me.
不要过度反应。没事的。 Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
- 嘿。介意我坐这吗？ - 只有狼群可以。去找另一把椅子。 - Hey. Mind if I sit? - Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
- 没有狼群，艾伦。来吧。 - 这是没有问题的。我会找到... - There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon. - It's no problem. I'll find...
- 泰迪，别傻了！你坐在这里！ - 小心，那是个LV... - Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here! - Careful, that's a Louis...
这是一个LV包包！ That is a Louis Vuitton!
- 这是一个不错的睡枕！ - 谢谢！你可以使用它，如果你想要的。 - That's a nice neck roll! - Thanks! You can use it if you want.
好的。 Ok.
背景音乐 \" by Billy Joel演唱The Downeaster \'Alexa\' The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing
宝贝！ Baby!
这里是绝对地漂亮！谢谢了！ This is so absolutely beautiful! Thank you much!
当然啦。 Of course.
泰迪和我，你一定很兴奋。 很快你就会有2名医生在家庭中。 Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
你必须认识到，在我国，我们不认为牙医是真正的医生。 You have to realize that in my country we don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
爸爸... Dad...
好的。 Ok.
反正我要回去跟泰迪谈谈他今晚的大提琴表演。 Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight.
哎哟！ Ouch!
我很抱歉... I'm so sorry...
你爸爸是不是对你弟弟很痴迷，不是吗？ Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother, isn't he?
泰迪是我爸爸占有的珍藏品。一直是这样。 Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's always been that way.
他会越来越热情的，我保证！好吗？ He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
你只需传真过来给我。我会去柜台拿的。 You can just fax it over to me. I'll pick it up at the concierge.
谢谢你，爸爸！再见！ Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
这是我的爸爸。我是待在家里的儿子。 That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
我们在讨论你的结婚礼物。 他会不惜一切代价。 We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense.
哦...实在没有必要的。 Oh... That's so unnecessary.
我一直想问别人。我注意这里是一个渔村。 I've been meaning to ask someone. I notice this is a fishing village.
岛上是否有Long John Silver餐厅？ Is there a Long John Silver's on the island?
你知道。没有，我觉得没有。我很抱歉。 You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
但是，我们实际上有提供一些好吃的新鲜海鲜。 But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood.
- 比Long John Silver的更好？ - 是的。 - Better than Long John's? - Yes.
- 我会自行判断的。享受你的夜晚。 - 你也一样。好的。 - I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. - You too. Ok.
好吧！ All right!
谢谢你，泰迪！ Thank you, Teddy!
伟大音乐家的技术！ The hands of a brilliant musician!
而有一天，会是伟大的外科医生。 And one day, a great surgeon.
我承认这一点 ... I admit it...
当我第一次见到史都，我不太想接受他。 When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
他似乎没有吸引力。他缺乏智慧和想像力。 He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination.
没有在一个人身上应有的火花。 He was missing the spark you look for in a man.
但后来我看着史都的眼睛。 But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
让我想起了我可爱的弟弟，柴育。 It reminded me of my sweet brother, Chai Yo.
对于那些不认识他的人，柴育学习帆船，生活在大家庭里。 For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning the sailboat and lives in a group home.
但是，柴育热爱「米汁」。 But Chai Yo loves "khao" .
这时候我才意识到，史都是「米汁」。 And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
什么是「米汁」？ What is "khao"?
「米汁」是软的白米饭浸在温水。 "Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
它没有味道。 It has no taste.
我们拿来喂小宝宝，嗯，还有很老的老人。 We feed it to small baby and uh, very old people.
这是每个人都可以消化的营养。 It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
世界需要「米汁」，正如 世界需要人们喜欢史都。 The world needs "khao", just as the world needs people like Stu.
为了我可爱的女儿和史都！ 恭喜！ To my sweet daughter and Stu! Congratulations!
乾杯！ Cheers!
现在我相信泰迪有话要说。 And now I believe that Teddy has something to say.
坐下！我来。 坐下来，孩子！ Sit down! I got this. Sit down, boy!
那是..一段伟大的演说，先生！ That was a.. a great speech, sir!
我喜欢史都和稻米的比较。 I like the comparison between Stu and rice.
我还准备了几句话。 I've also prepared a few words.
各位，来听些趣事 Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
泰国人口有6300万 The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
面积是怀俄明州的两倍。 It is twice the size of Wyoming.
它的主要出口是纺织品，鞋和稻米 It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice.
每年约有13,000人在在泰国因车祸身亡 Each year approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand.
- 在泰国的气候 ... - 艾伦！ - The climate in Thailand... - Alan!
- 你为什么不直接从最后一张卡说 - 好。对不起！ - Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy. - Okay. Sorry!
没人比我更了解史都 None of you know Stu like I do.
不是你...不是你...不是你... Not you... not you... not you...
没人比我更了解史都 Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
没有人！ No one!
我不能透漏我的们荒唐往事 因为我们讲好不说 I can't even tell you what we've been through cause we made a pact.
比血缘更重要。 More important than blood.
我只能告诉各位 这不是史都第一次结婚。 What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage.
几年前在赌城有个妓女... There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago.
坐下 ... Sit down...
- 够了！他会挺过来的！ - 好。谢谢你，菲尔！ - Enough! He'll get over it! - Okay. Thanks, Phil!
管他的！ In your face!
这跟我预期的一样痛苦。 Well that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be.
对不起 ... Sorry...
- 哦，八宝粥！你在干什么？ - 哈哈。非常有趣！ - Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? - HaHa. Very funny!
太好了，菲尔！他今晚格外敏感。 Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
克服它！他是你的公公。他应该恨你。 Get over it! He's your father in law. He's supposed to hate you.
来吧，来跟我和大伙们喝一杯。 Come have a drink with me and the guys.
你知道...我真的很疲惫了。我们准备上楼然后崩溃。 You know... I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash.
来吧，我跟经理说了。他会让我们有一个海滩篝火。 C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
这听起来蛮好玩！ That sounds fun!
- 尼亚 ...我很好。 - 他累了！ - Nyah... I'm good. - He's tired!
史都，和你的朋友喝一杯吧 他们都来了。 Stu, one drink with your friends who came all this way.
- 我只是想和你出去玩！ - 哦，走吧。去吧！并帮我一个忙。 - I just wanna hang out with you! - Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
带泰迪一起出去。不然他永远不会去找乐趣。 Take Teddy with you. He never gets to have any fun.
这是一个好主意。带上孩子。 That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
- 好吧。喝一杯！ - 太好了。 - Alright. One drink! - Perfect.
- 再见。 - 玩得开心！ - See you later. - Have fun!
- 你有钥匙吗？ - 是的，就在这里！ - You have the key? - Yep, got it right here!
在20分钟后回来！ I'll see you in 20 minutes!
我的叔叔罗杰说，他曾看见一苹白子北极熊。 My uncle Roger said that he once saw an albino polar bear.
真的吗？北极熊是白色的。 他怎么知道这是否是一个患白化病？ Really? Polar bears are white. How would he know if it's an albino?
这一苹是黑色的。 This one was black.
你是否想过也许只是一苹黑熊？ Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear?
不管... Whatever...
好的。来了。美国啤酒。 Ok. Here we go. American beer.
- 密封瓶！ - 谢谢你。好吧！ - Sealed bottle! - Thank you. Alright!
- 我年纪没有达到喝酒的年龄。 - 是的，这是非法的。 - I'm not really old enough to drink. - Yeah, it's illegal.
如果有人举报你 那将是羞耻的事。 Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
没有人会去检举。没关系 泰迪。开心一点。 Nobody's reporting anybody. It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
小心！ Careful!
这是什么？速食棉花糖？干的好！ What is this? Instant marshmallows? Nice touch!
- 这是Alan的主意。 - 好主意，Al！ - That was Alan's idea. - Good thinking, Al!
你知道...我不禁要说，史都！ 这个地方就是天堂。 You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu! This place is paradise.
没坏吧？ Not bad, right?
而且我不能相信我会这样说， 但实际上，我嫉妒你。 And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you.
- 我的意思是，萝拉是个天使。 - 是啊，她真的令人难以置信。 - I mean, Lauren is an angel. - Yeah, she really is amazing.
哇，你俩真是甜蜜。 Wow, you guys are sweet.
在她的乳房并不大。但尽管如此，以亚洲人来说也够硬的。 Not big breasts on her. But still, solid rack for an Asian.
- 对不起，泰迪，但这是事实。 - 没关系。 - Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. - That's ok.
这只是非常地时机不恰当。 That is just wildly inappropriate.
可是...我真的很高兴你们在这里。 你们所有。即使是你 艾伦。 And yet... I'm really glad you're here. All you guys. Even you Alan.
这让这趟旅行意义非凡。谢谢。 It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you.
- 我们不会忘的，这哥们。 - 太好了！ - Wouldn't have missed it buddy. - Great!
现在。我们可以再喝一轮我们他妈的啤酒，爸爸？ Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
好吧。乾杯！拜托你们站起来。 Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
到这里来，伦哥！ Come over here, Alan!
为了萝拉和史都！ To Lauren and Stu!
- 你做到了，伙计。 - 确实这样做了。 - You did it, buddy. - Sure did.
乾杯！ Cheers!
搞甚么 ... What the hell...
什么？ What?
菲尔 ... Phil...
我们又出包了... I think it happened again.
- 艾伦，你他妈又做了什么？ - 我发誓我没有做任何事情。 - Alan, what the fuck did you do? - I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
你的毛剃光了。 Your hair is gone.
不，头上的头发。 No, no... up.
我们他妈的在哪？ Where the fuck are we?
菲尔，我好怕。 Phil, I'm scared.
史都，拜托起床！我们现在有状况。 Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
- 我操... - 我们在哪？ - Oh, holy shit! - Where are we?
- 噢，我的上帝，艾伦。你的头。 - 不 是你的头吧！ - Oh my god, Alan. Your head. - No your head!
- 是秃头？ - 史都，你会抓狂，但它会好的。 - Is it bald? - Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
- 为什么？因为我的牙齿？ - 不，不是你的牙齿。 - Why? Was it my teeth? - Nope, it's not your teeth.
- 你确定吗？ - 没错。 - Are you sure? - Yep.
你能看到下面吗？ Can you see the bottom?
天哪！这是什么... Oh my god! What the fu...ck
很好看。你为什么不尝试把它洗掉。 That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
洗不掉。这是一个真正的纹身！ It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
- 艾伦，你做了什么！你对我下药了吗？ - 我没有做任何事情！ - Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me? - I didn't do anything!
史都，他对上帝发誓！ Stu, he swore to god!
发生了什么事？ What happened?
把它从我身上弄掉！ Get it off of me!
- 这是什么鬼东西？ - 这是一苹猴子。 - What the hell? - It's a monkey.
多么可爱的小面具。嗨，小猴子。 What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
艾伦 ... Alan...
手机！艾伦，去找电话！ Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
我找到了！ I got it!
- 道格，你到底在哪里？ - 我在吃早餐。在泳池边。 - Doug, where the hell are you? - I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
- 你们要下来 还是怎么样？ - 哦耶稣。感谢上帝。 道格没事。 - You guys coming down or what? - Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
- 史都，道格没事。他在度假村。 - 为什么我们不在度假村。 - Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort. - Why aren't we at the resort.
这是怎么回事？你们在哪里？ What's going on? Where are you guys?
我不知道，老兄！我们醒在某个城市的某个房间里。 I do not know, man! We woke up in some shit hole room in some city.
- 我的神呀。这是哪个城市？ - 我不知道，道格！ - Oh god. What city? - I don't know, Doug!
该死的亚洲城市。 Fuckin Asia-town.
- 我不知道，我跟你说。 - 我们在哪儿？ - I do not know, I told you. - Where are we?
- 嘿 史都。 - 什么？ - Hey Stu. - What?
看一下这个。 Check this out.
曾经见过像这样吗？ Ever seen anything like this?
- 那是什么？ - 当心。可能是一个蜘蛛巢。 - What is that? - Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
我之前有碰过。 I've tangled with those before.
我不明白。我们昨晚每个人都有一瓶啤酒，对不对？我的意思是你也是！ I don't get it man. We each had one beer last night, right? I mean you too!
- 是的，但是我离开得比较早，记得吗？ - 我什么都不记得！ - Yeah but I left early, remember? - I don't remember shit!
特雷西不舒服。她下来找我。 Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me.
- 等一下。泰迪跟你们在一起吗？ - 泰迪？什么？你在说些什么？ - Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys? - Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
他没有在自己的房间。他们整个上午都在找他。 He wasn't in his room. They've been looking for him all morning.
- 泰迪去斯坦福大学读书，对不对？ - 是啊。为什么呢？ - Teddy went to Stanford, right? - Yeah. Why?
他妈的！ Fuck!
- 我刚发现他的手指！ - 什么？ - I just found his finger! - What?
- 我刚发现他的他妈的手指，道格！ - 菲尔，到底是怎么回事？ - I just found his fucking finger, Doug! - Phil, what is going on?
好吧。好吧，好吧...这是我们要做的。 Alright. Alright, alright... this is what we're gonna do.
你告诉女孩们，我们早早起床去钓鱼，好吗。而那是我们去的地方。 You tell the girls that we woke up early and went on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
- 好。 - 好，留在电话旁！ - Right. - Right, stay by the phone!
妈的！ Shit!
嗯，我们发现了一点点小问题。 Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
那是什么？ What is that?
我们不知道。 We don't know.
- 那是蠕虫吗？ - 这是一个蘑菰。 - Is it a worm? - It's a mushroom.
是啊，香菰。 Yeah, shiitake.
猴子，尝尝吧！它是香菰吗？ Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
- 它无法理解你。 - 它刚刚做了。 - He can't understand you. - He just did.
- 为什么它去拉它？ - 它可能饿了。 - Why is he pulling on it? - He's probably hungry.
等一下。是... Wait a second. Is that...
什么他妈。告诉那同志猴子 滚我远一点。 What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone.
老周？ Chow?
你他妈的疯了。 You're fucking crazy.
这里太他妈的亮了！ 艾伦，拿我的太阳镜过来！ It's so fucking light in here! Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
- 很高兴地看到你，老周！ - 很高兴见到你 我的小波波。 - It's great to see you, Leslie! - Nice to see you too my little popo.
老周，你他妈在这里干嘛？ Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
艾伦几天前打电话给我 邀请我来参加婚礼。 Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to the wedding.
- 什么？ - 什么，他是我的伴。 - Excuse me? - What, he's my plus one.
您没有伴。这要花200美元一趟。 You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
伙计们，伙计们。专心点，好吗。 老周，发生什么事了？ Guys, guys. Just focus, ok. Chow, what happened?
你们传简讯给我，说你们玩疯了然后要开个派对。 You guys texted me, said you're fucked up and looking to party.
我带你们上我的船 带你们来曼谷。 I picked you up on my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok.
我们昨晚超变态的，逊咖们！ But we had a sick night, bitches!
等等，我们在曼谷？ Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
哈啦，淫乱之都。 Holler, city of squalor.
- 你知道我是怎么得到这个纹身？ - 嗯，是从一个他妈的帮人纹身的家伙！ - Do you know how I got this tattoo? - Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
来吧 史都，用用你那犹太人的大脑。 Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
那猴子拿的是什么？ What's the monkey holding?
- 那是一个手指！ - 史都，我有一些坏消息。 - That's a finger! - Stu, I got some bad news.
泰迪昨晚与我们在一起。这是他的手指。 Teddy was with us last night. That's his finger.
- 泰迪死了吗？ - 泰迪没有死！他整晚与我们一同欢乐！ - Teddy's dead? - Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
- 那么他在哪儿？ - 你不记得吗？ - Well then where is he? - Don't you remember anything?
- 不！ - 不，什么都不记得，老周。 - No! - No, nothing, Chow.
好，我解释这一切，好吗？ Ok I explain it all, ok?
就让我吸一口，让我的头清醒。过来爸爸这里。 Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. Come to papa.
这是一个大... That's a big...
你准备好听到有史以来最疯狂的故事...他妈的 You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
老周！ Chow!
老周 嘿，你没事吧？ Hey Chow, you okay?
你肯定在开玩笑吧。 You gotta be kidding me.
他妈的，他死了！ Fuck, he's dead!
- 救人喔！ - 史都！ - Help! - Stu!
- 救人喔！ - 史都，闭嘴！ - Help! - Stu, shut up!
- 呼叫救护车！ - 闭嘴！他死了！ - Call an ambulance! - Shut up! He's dead!
如果有人看到，发现一具尸体和一堆可卡因... Look if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine...
我们的下半辈子要留在泰国的监狱。 We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking lives in a Thai prison.
艾伦！请不要哭泣！ Alan! Please don't cry!
好吧。好吧。我只需要一秒钟来想清楚。 Alright. Alright. I just need a second to figure this out.
制冰机位于 15楼。 ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
看，这是最糟糕的主意。 Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
这是他妈的什么地方？ What the fuck is this place?
曼谷是泰国的首都。其人口是12亿人... Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its population is 12 million people...
艾伦，你帮帮忙！ Alan, will you help!
- 电梯！ - 我去按按钮！ - The elevator! - I'll get the button!
- 要怎么处理这苹他妈的猴子？ - 那苹猴子就要遭殃了！ - What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? - That monkey gets it!
- 来吧！ - 他妈的不！ - Come on! - Fuck no!
停电了。我们得走楼梯。 The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
- 哦，他妈的！ - 来吧！ - Oh fuck! - Come on!
在这里！ Here it is!
脚先。我以前已经这样做过了。 Feet first. I've done this before.
小心！ Careful!
- 史都！ - 什么？ - Stu! - What?
- 我们仍然必须找到泰迪！ - 哦，上帝。 - We still have to find Teddy! - Oh god.
屋顶！ The roof!
泰迪！ Teddy!
- 你们看到他吗？ - 不！ - You guys see him? - No!
他不在这里。 He's not here.
我不敢相信这又再次发生。 I can't believe this is happening again.
好，好吧。我们可以处理的。你回去那里。 Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get back there.
你告诉他们，艾伦和我喝醉 跟他在一起，我们仍然庆祝。 You tell them that Alan and I got drunk with him, we're still partying.
- 你必须去结婚吧！ - 不！没有泰迪我不回去！ - You gotta go get married! - No! Not going back without Teddy!
他是萝拉的弟弟。他失踪了，他受伤了。 He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost, he's injured.
如果我搞砸了，我将失去了一切。 If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
好的。 Ok.
好吧。 Alright.
- 艾伦，检查你的口袋！ - 什么？ - Alan, check your pockets! - What?
你知道该怎么做。来吧，有可能有线索。 You know the drill. C'mon there might be clues.
- 检查你的手机！电话号码，简讯。 - 这是个好主意！ - Check your phones! Numbers, texts. - That's a good idea!
- 我什么都没有。他妈的！ - 我有一个老周寄的简讯。 - I got nothing. Fuck! - I got an text from Chow.
- 什么时候？ - 嗯，昨晚10点。 - What time? - Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
- 说什么？ - 「上路了，Niggahs」 - What's it say? - "On my way, Niggahs"
哦，Niggahs ...好的...嘻哈。 Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
我们彻底的...完了！ We are so... fucked!
嘿 菲尔！看看谁回来了！ Hey Phil! Look who's back!
我们得让你防晒了。你太热了。 We gotta get you out of the sun. You're too hot.
菲尔，我真的觉得我们应该去美国领事馆。 Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate.
为了什么？要报告一具尸体，我们推到制冰机中？ For what? To report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine?
我们要怎么办？继续闲晃吗？因为那可真正的有用。 What are we gonna do? Keep walking around in circles? Cause that's real productive.
你知道我在想清楚这件事情，你的态度并没有帮助。 You know I'm trying to figure this thing out here and your attitude is not helping.
我很抱歉。现在已经100度F，而我们没有一个计划。 I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we don't have a plan.
而我们所做的就是给他买帽子和苏打水。 And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
-什么，这是一个袋子芬达！ - 好吧，你想要怎么做，史都？ -What, it's a bag of Fanta! - Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
我不知道！ I don't know!
那么就别对我叫 好像这是我他妈的错。 Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
这是你的错！ It is your fault!
我想要的只是一个单身汉早午餐。 All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
妈的！闭嘴！是道格！跟我说话！ Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
我刚刚跟曼谷警察联络。他们已经找到他。他没事。 I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD. They've got him. He's ok.
哦，感谢上帝！道格找到了他了。 Oh thank god! Doug found him.
- 发生了什么？ - 他被逮捕了。 - What happened? - He got arrested.
- 被捕了？为什么？ - 行为不检。 - Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct.
- 被捕了？为什么？ - 行为不检。 - Seriously? - Yeah! He's ok though.
他们会释放他给你。没有问问题。也没有人知道。 They'll release him to you. No questions asked. No one has to know.
他在Ratra Wang派出所。 He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
好的。我会打电话给你，当我们到达那里。 Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
泰迪在监狱里，但他没事。我们得叫台计程车 Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We gotta get a cab.
- 好吧！ - 好吧！ - Ok! - Alright!
- 是的，我这里有他的文件纪录。 - 好。 - Yes, I have his paperwork here. - Okay.
- 已经开始处理了。 - 听起来不错。 - He has been treated. - Sounds good.
我们很好。他们已经为他处理释放事宜。 We're good. They've processed him for release.
他们把他放在酒醉室里。他没事。 They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
十六岁，待在监狱一晚上。你能想像吗？ Sixteen years old and spent a night in jail. Can you imagine?
哈哈！我们热爱派对。 Haha! We love to party.
我们走！ Here we go!
- 等等 该死的家伙是谁？ - 泰迪Sisay。 - Wait who's this fuckin guy? - Teddy Sisay.
不，不，不，不。这是错误的家伙！先生！ No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
对不起..我很抱歉。警官。你放错人了。这不是泰迪！ Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
当然是！ 我们有他的ID和一切！ Of course it is! We have his ID's and everything!
当我们逮捕他时 这些都是在他的口袋里。 These were in his pocket when we made the arrest.
在他的口袋里？ They were in his pocket?
对不起，先生！你是怎么得到这个东西？ Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
哈喽？ Hello?
泰迪无法说话。我们尝试了英语，泰文，中文 ...什么也没用。 Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English, Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
让我问问你。 Let me ask you something.
他看起来有像是在加州Palo Alto的Bally完全健身房运动的人吗？ Does he look like he works out at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
看看。我们逮捕了很多人。我们无法分析每件事。 Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot analyze everything.
- 你希望我们如何处理这家伙？ - 这不是我的问题！ - What do you expect us to do with this guy? - Not my problem!
嘿 家伙，我觉得他应该认识我们。你好。你好。 Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
你知道我们的朋友在哪里吗，泰迪？他失踪了！ You know where our friend is, Teddy? He's missing!
- 史都，算了吧。这些家伙毫无用处。 - 他知道些什么！ - Stu, forget it. The guys worthless. - He knows something!
他穿着泰迪的运动衫。 He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
也许他只是不能理解。我会想出办法。是啊，就像猜哑谜。看着。 Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.
- 两个单字。 - 是电影吗？ - Two words. - Is it a movie?
这不是给你看的，艾伦！ This is not for you, Alan!
- 美国少年...在亚洲。 - 空手道小子，与杰登史密斯。 - American teenager... in Asia. - Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
这很容易 因为你在对他说话。 It's easy cause you're talking to him.
史都，这是浪费时间！把这家伙他妈的留在这里。 Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave this fucking guy here.
这里有什么。在泰国有五十万个僧侣。 Here's something. There are 500 thousand monks living in Thailand.
一些僧侣发沉默愿则非少见的，在八岁时。 It is not uncommon for some monks to take a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
算了吧。 There you go.
- 有任何东西在外套里？ - 不，它是空的。 - Anything else in that envelope? - Nah, it's empty.
哇，等等。有一张曼谷的白狮酒吧的白喝卡？ Woah, hang on. A drink card from White Lion bar in Bangkok?
值得一试。 Worth a shot.
耶稣基督！这是正确的路吗？ Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
它是这么说。 That's what it says.
- 哇！这就是白狮！ - 这里是他妈的怎么一回事？ - Whoa! This is the White Lion! - What the fuck happened here?
真他妈的！ Holy shit!
（喊叫） (yelling in Thai)
- 让我们 ... - 我们也许应该 ... - Let's... - We should probably...
没关系。 That's ok.
他妈的是怎么回事？ What the fuck is going on here?
- 哇，伙计们。来看看吧！ - 狗屎！史都，看！ - Whoa, guys. Check it out! - Holy shit! Stu, look!
这是我的脸。走吧，进去进去！干的好，艾伦！ That's my face. Go, go go! Nice work, Alan!
- 哈棉？ - 等我一分钟！ - Hello? - Be with you in a minute!
- 对不起。 - 哦，看看这是谁！ - Excuse me. - Oh, look who it is!
- 那么你觉得如何？ - 什么，对不起？ - So what do ya think? - What, I'm sorry?
- 那个纹身。你喜欢它吗？ - 嗯，没有。其实，我讨厌它。 - The tattoo. You love it? - Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
- 不退款。给我滚出去！ - 等一下！ - No refunds. Get the fuck out! - Wait a second!
看清楚标示！ Read the sign!
没有退款。他妈的给我离开这里。 NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
我们没有要退款。我们只是要问一些问题。 We don't want any refunds. We just have a couple of questions.
我们正试图找出昨晚发生了什么。 We're trying to figure out what went down last night.
发生了什么？去外面看看你们做的。附近几乎一半都毁了。 What went down? Take a look at what you did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.
- 我们做的？ - 你不记得，在白狮酒吧参与了一场打斗？ - We did that? - You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
- 引发一场完整的他妈的暴动？ - 先生，我们什么都不记得。 - Starting a full on fuckin riot? - Sir, we don't remember anything.
哦，孩子... Oh boy...
看一下这个！ Check this out!
哦，妈呀！ Oh shit!
他妈的条子！ Fuck the Police!
还有泰迪！他和我们在一起！ There's Teddy! He was with us!
耶稣基督！ Jesus christ!
这是当条子抵达，并开始打人时。 That's when the cops arrived and started cracking skulls.
我把你们藏在店里。 I took you guys and hid you in the shop here.
然后你决定要一个纹身。 你哭得像一个小婊子。 Then you decided to get a tattoo. You cried like a little bitch.
这小子是他妈的九岁。他的蛋蛋是你的两倍。 This kid is fucking nine years old. He's got balls twice your size.
- 给他看你的蛋，Nao！ - 不，不，不。没关系。 - Show him your balls, Nao! - No, no, no. That's ok.
听着，我们正在寻找我们的朋友泰迪。 你见过他吗？ Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him?
昨晚之后没有。为什么呢？发生了什么事？ Not since last night. Why? What happened?
是啊，我明天应该娶他的姐姐，我们好像找不到他。 Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
- 哦。好 那么他妈的吧！ - 你是什么意思，他妈的吧？ - Oh well. Then fuck it! - What do you mean, fuck it?
曼谷拥有他了 她永远不会让他走。 Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go.
- 你听到了吧？这就是你希望的吗？你高兴了吗？ - You hear that, huh? Is this what you wanted? You happy now?
你在浪费你的时间。这些僧侣非常认真的守誓言。 You're wasting your time. These monks take their vow shit seriously.
看看这个。这是张麦寺的符号，就在城市外面。 Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
也许那里有人可以让他说话。 Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk.
- 好吧，我们可以过的了这一关吗？你拿了啤酒从... - Ok, can we just go over this one more time? You got the beer from...
- 酒店的酒吧。他们给了我一箱没开过的。 - 对。 - The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. - Right.
- 但是，是谁拿给你的？ - 调酒师。 - But, who gave it to you? - The bartender.
然后你带出来 我再打开它们。 And then you brought em out and I opened them.
是啊 而且道格也喝了 所以问题不是因为啤酒。 Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine so it's not the beer.
- 那么到底发生了什么事？ - 我不知道！ - So what the hell happened? - I have no idea!
嘿，伙计们。看一下。他有一根大裙。 Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a Chinese boner.
艾伦，拜托！ 停止吧！ Alan, come on! Cut it out!
- 这是错误的！ - 不要停 猴子，继续做下去。 - That is so wrong! - Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
当猴子玩大凋时，比甚么都好笑 When a monkey nibbles on a penis it's funny in any language!
继续做下去！ Keep doing it!
好吧，谢谢你！ Alright, thank you!
再见 香！再见 小韦恩！ Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
哇！太美了！ Wow! So beautiful!
这是什么，一家 PF Chang中菜馆？ What is this, a PF Chang's?
啊，他们在打坐。 Ah, they're meditating.
- 好一个爱好和平的人民！ - 是啊。 - Such a peaceful people! - Yeah.
- 敲敲门，敲敲门！您好！ - 艾伦！表现出一定的尊重！ - Knock, knock! Hello! - Alan! Show some respect!
- 别起来 各位。 - 我们把你们的一个家伙带回来。 - Don't get up guys. - We brought one of your guys back.
他真的很有趣。他的真不错 也很酷。 He's really funny. He's really nice and cool.
嗨，你好。你就是负责人？ Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
- 对不起...哇 ...等等！ - 住手！冷静下来！ - Excuse me... ow... Wait! - Stop it! Calm down!
等一下。那是因为我们在交谈。 Hold on. It's because we're talking.
他妈的！哦！住手！ God damn it! Oh! Stop!
等等 是我！ Wait it's me!
噢，我明白了。 Oh I get it.
不说话！不说话！嘘 ..好了... No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
好的。 Ok.
昨天深夜，你爬上我们的寺院的墙。 Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery.
喊着关于爱情，婚姻和生命意义的问题。 Shouting out questions about love, marriage and the meaning of life.
可怜的寒兄弟独自在花园里打坐。 Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden.
- 然后你带走他。 - 我的神呀！ - And you took him. - Oh my god!
- 我们绑架了一名僧人。 - 我们以一种另类方式生活。 - We kidnapped a monk. - We live an alternative life style.
我们很遗憾，但我们昨晚已经不受控制了。 We are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night.
是的，事情有点失控 。但是有一个男孩失踪并受伤了。 Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
你能否能找出讯息 如果他知道我们的朋友在哪？ Can you find out if he knows where our friend is?
寒兄弟多年前发了沉默誓。 Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago.
这将是无用的尝试。 It would be useless to try.
嗯，也许他可以写下发生了什么事？ Well maybe he can write down what happened, on a piece of paper?
事实上 菲尔，这将是作弊。是不是啊，大导师。 Actually Phil, that would be cheating. Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
- 艾伦！ - 恐怕胖兄弟是对的。 - Alan! - I'm afraid fatty is right.
听到了吗？...什么？ See?... What?
我们永远不会知道寒兄弟知道的事。 None of us will ever know what brother Han knows.
哦，好吧。那么，跟圣民说了这么多。 这帮王八蛋秃。来吧，我们走吧。 Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
嘿，你知道吗！仅供参考！您可能要指出一些徵兆 然后说不准说话 ... Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to put some signs up that say no talking...
- ...在你释放你的龙之前。 - 是啊，那是有点粗鲁。 - ...before you unleash your dragon. - Yeah, that was a little rough.
还有「不客气」把他平安带回来。 And "your welcome" for bringing him back safe.
- 你知道，我们载酒醉室发现他。 - 是啊，我们也把他从这里带走。 - You know we found him in the drunk tank. - Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
- 来吧，伙计们，我们走吧。 - 等等！ - C'mon guys, let's go. - Wait!
佛陀教导我们，每一个的记忆都在内心深处的某个地方。 The Buddha teach, every memory lives somewhere deep within.
也许你应该把你的问题带去沉思花园。 Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation.
- 你了解你刚才说的每个字吗？ - 是啊，是啊。大约理解三分之二。 - Did you understand a word he just said? - Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
他说了一些关于沉思花园的 He said something about the Garden of Meditation?
不，他说他放屁，因为他服药。 No, he said he's farting because of his medication.
我明白了。 I get that.
这是在浪费时间。我什么都不记得。你呢？ It's a waste of time. I don't remember anything. Do you?
不，我也是。艾伦？ No. I got nothing. Alan?
艾伦！ Alan!
「每一个的记忆都在内心深处的某个地方」 "Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
- 亲爱的。 - 什么？ - Sweetie. - What?
你有客人。 You have visitors.
- 嘿，艾伦！ - 嗨，伙计们！ - Hey, Alan! - Hey, guys!
- 嗨，菲尔。 - 嗨，老兄！ - Hey, Phil. - Hey buddy!
史都想邀请你参加他的婚礼。 Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
- 真的吗，史都尔特？ - 是啊，为什么不呢。这会有趣的。 - Is this true, Stuart? - Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
他妈的！ Fuck!
- 敬萝拉和史都！ - 乾杯！ - For Lauren and Stu! - Cheers!
- 老周！ - 我们昨晚超变态的，逊咖们！！ - Chow! - We had a sick night bitches!
艾伦，这是什么！ Alan, what the fuck!
这个人是来参加婚礼的吗？ Is that person coming to the wedding?
- 没有狼群。 - 艾伦，艾伦，别那么做！ - There is no wolfpack. - Alan, Alan, don't do that!
最后 ... And finally...
每个人可以拥有三个最好的朋友。 The three best friends anyone could have.
他妈的条子！ Fuck the Police!
我知道该去哪里。 I know where to go.
- 你觉得，艾伦？ - 这是一个地方。 - What do you think, Alan? - This is the place.
来吧。我们走吧。 C'mon. Let's go.
我不记得这里的任何事！ I don't remember any of this!
- 是呀 艾伦，你确定这个地方？ - 是的，非常肯定。 - Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place? - Yeah, pretty sure.
玫瑰！和谐！ Rose! Harmony!
他要来还是怎样？我整天一直在等待他。 Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him.
- 我很抱歉。等待谁？ - 老周，这他妈的屁股家伙！ - I'm sorry. Waiting for who? - Chow, that dick ass fuck!
- 为什么？这是怎么回事？ - 没事。 - Why? What's wrong? - Nothings wrong.
好，好。看看这个。看看我带来的。检查看看，呵呵。 Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh.
- 不，不！ - $ 6,000元 美元（36潘呀）。 - No, no! - $ 6,000 American.
哇 看起来很像真的！ Wow looks so real!
对不起！ Sorry!
- 艾伦，怎么回事！ - 没关系。这枪，这是非常敏感。 - Alan, what the fuck! - It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
大家都好吗？ Everybody ok?
好了，回去工作！来吧。放音乐，请！ Ok, then get the fuck back to work! Come on. Music, please!
那是我6000美元吗？ Where is my 6,000 dollars?
6000？不，不，不。这是老周的交易。我们 跟这一点关系也没有。 6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We got nothing to do with that.
他妈的难以置信。 Un-fucking believable.
这家伙，如果敢再回来，可有的他好受的。 This guy, if he backs out again, the shits gonna catch up with him.
他在这城市树立很多的敌人， 而现在他们会成为你们的敌人。 He's made a lot of enemies in this town, and now they're gonna be your enemies.
这不公平！ That's not fair!
听好了。我们只是寻找一个小孩。 Ok listen. We're just looking for a little kid.
- 2,000美元。 - 什么！ - 2,000 dollars. - What!
我不知道，也许要更多。你希望这小子多年轻呢？ 不，不！对不起，你误会了。我们寻找我们的朋友... 16岁。 I don't know, maybe more. How young you want this kid to be?
不，不！对不起，你误会了。我们寻找我们的朋友... 16岁。 No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're looking for our friend... 16 years old.
- 泰迪。 - 泰迪？ - Teddy. - Teddy?
- 他昨晚跟你们在这里。 - 他什么？ - Yeah he was here with you guys last night. - He was?
你知不知道，他有没有离开我们呢？ Do you know if he left with us?
我不知道。你们整夜和Kimmy待在角落。 I don't know. You were in the corner all night with Kimmy.
- 我没有看到你们离开。 - Kimmy？ - I didn't see you leave. - Kimmy?
- 她在这里吗？ - 是的，她在后面。她刚刚到了，为了她那狗屎。 - Is she here? - Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
去和她谈谈。 Go and talk to her.
好吧，听着。我很抱歉发生的一切。 Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything that happened.
听我说，好吗？注意我要和你谈谈的事 你应该知道。 Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what I'm going to talk to you know.
当你看到老周，你告诉他萨米尔跟他说声「你好」。 When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says "Hello".
好吧！ Okay!
但是是这样做，好吗！ 「你好」要像威胁。就像，具有讽刺意味。 But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like threatening. Like, ironic.
- 「你好~~~~」 - 好吧！ - "Hellooo" - Okay!
走开！走开！ Go away! Go away!
??
我当然记得他。他替每个人买酒。 Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone.
好孩子！他的父母一定很自豪。 Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
你根本不知道。 You have no idea.
好了，你还记得吗，他有离开我们吗？ Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
是啊，你们一起离去，但你几乎忘了这一个还在这里。 Yeah, you were all leaving together, but you almost forgot this one right here.
没错，超级明星？ Right, super star?
而他则像一苹小小狗 整夜跟着我周围。 This one was following me around like a little puppy dog. All night.
他说，他会爱上我。要我嫁给他。 Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked me to marry him.
你真是经典的屎都呀！ Classic Stu!
- 我们没有结婚，是吗？ - 当然不是！ - We didn't get married, did we? - Course not!
我们只是在霞多丽的房间有一些好玩的。 We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
- 发生什么是在霞多丽的房间里？ - 让我们专心找人。 - What happens in the Chardonnay room? - Let's just stay on task.
我跳舞给他。他骚我痒。我们有性行为。 I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
- 靠！ - 这没关系。你还没有结婚。 - Fuck! - It's ok. You're not married yet.
- 没什么大不了的。 - 这是欺骗！ - No big deal. - It's cheating!
没有冒犯你。你是个可爱的女人。 No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
但这是违背我的道德准则。 It's a violation of my moral code.
不要伤心。史都 你喜欢它。你哭了，说明这是多么特别。 Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were crying, saying how special it was.
- 等等！我很抱歉。他在哭吗？ - 你还小吗。他哭了。 - Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying? - What a baby. He was crying.
你应该有见过他。他是如此性感。他以这种方式移动。 You should have seen him. He was so sexy. The way he moved around.
我要他慢下来，我才不会太快释放。 I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.
- 释放？释放什么？ - 哦，你知道...我的精子。 - Load? What load? - Oh, you know... My sperms.
我觉得你的英语是错的。你在说关于\"我的精子\"！ I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperm!
- 你的精子是从哪里来的？ - 从我的球！ - Where would your sperm come from? - From my balls!
- 等等！重来！ - 等等...你是... - Hold on! Back up! - Wait... Are you...
嘿。你是在曼谷，亲爱的。 Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
- 所以有原因，他们不叫「Bang-cunt」。 - 噢！ - There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt". - Oh!
- 哦，上帝！ - 哇。 - Oh god! - Wow.
我不明白。这是一个魔术表演？ I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
来吧，史都，它是美丽的。我们在同一时间高潮。 Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time.
怎么做的？ How's that work?
把我的精子射向你。你的精子射到地板上。 Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load on the floor.
- 好吧！ - 你毁了我。彻底毁灭。 - Ok! - You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
哦，上帝！ Oh god!
- 史都！这不是世界末日。 - 对不起，但我很困惑。 - Stu! It's not the end of the world. - Sorry, but I'm so confused.
我跟一个男人做爱 ...他有胸部。 I made love to a man... with boobies.
听着。我答应你 没有任何人会知道这件事。 Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna find out about this.
但是，我们知道了。 But we found out about it.
那么，我们要忘记。这就是我们要做的！ And then we forget. That's what we do!
我也做了许多狗屎事。而我就是忘掉它。 I do so much fucked up shit. And I just forget about it.
- 是吗？ - 是啊！忘了！它消失了！ - Yeah? - Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
可能很难遗忘，但在时间会让它发生的。 That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen.
我当然要这么做。就这么忘了吧。 I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
- 从来没有发生过。 - 太好了！ - Never happened. - Great!
手机！手机！是谁？快接！ Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
萝拉的父亲。他只是提醒我... Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
- 快接吧！ - 我不能。 - Answer it! - I can't.
什么！他可能知道一些关于泰迪的事。 拜托，我们还在这里找人耶。 What! He might know something about Teddy. C'mon we still have a shot here.
让你的精神回来这他妈的游戏，史都！ Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
哈喽？ Hello?
谁会在结婚前一天花一整天去钓鱼之旅？ Who takes an all day fishing trip the day before a wedding?
- 是啊，我想这是有点笨。 - 要泰迪接电话。 - Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid. - Put Teddy on the phone.
- 泰迪实际上晕船了。 - 晕船吗？ - Teddy's seasick actually. - Seasick?
- 泰迪从九岁起一直是海事军校学生。 - 这真奇怪，因为他吐的到处都是。 - Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine. - That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
我要告诉你一些你不知道的事。 I'm gonna tell you something that you do not know.
- 我不喜欢你。 - 是啊，这我知道了。 - I don't like you. - Yeah,I knew that already.
如果我的女儿选择你， 这是她的问题。 If my daughter chooses you, that's her problem.
这是什么..嘿，我是菲尔温尼克！ This is ??. Hey it's Phil Winnick!
听着，我道歉。我们已经钓到一些疯了的马林鱼，我只想说 ... Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
菲尔！ Phil!
- 耶稣！ - 菲尔！ - Jesus! - Phil!
他妈的我！ Fuck me!
- 把我们的猴子还回来！ - 什么猴子？去找你们自己的猴子！ - Give us back our monkey! - What monkey? Get your own monkey!
来吧，你溷蛋，他妈的猴子！ Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
来吧！ Come on!
任何时候，艾伦。他用枪指着我们！ Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
这是我们的猴子！ This is our monkey!
没有人要因为一苹他妈的猴子被射杀！ No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
把它交过去，现在！ Hand him over, now!
上帝，我不想把猴子给他。 God, I've never given him no monkeys.
不，不... No, no ...
嘿 菲尔，看一下。他的头盔上有一个香蕉。他是真正的主人。 Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet. He's the real deal.
他妈的是怎么回事？ What the fuck's happening?
等等！这是怎么回事？你知道我们的朋友在哪吗？ Hold on! How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is?
- 是啊。十六岁。亚洲孩子。 - （用俄罗斯语说了些话？） - Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid. - (says something in Russian?)
不，我不明白你说的！不，我不明白！ No, I don't understand what you said! No, I didn't understand!
他说什么？ What'd he say?
他说，去他妈的你和你的问题！ He said fuck you and your questions!
- 哦，我的手臂！ - 菲力浦，你没事吧？ - Oh, my arm! - Philip, are you okay?
哦，我被射杀！他妈的！他妈的这个！ Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
没关系，菲尔！没关系！ It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
我们会想出解决办法，并把猴子找回来，我保证。 We'll figure this out and get the monkey back, I promise.
谁在乎他妈的猴子！ Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
- 现在要怎么办？ - 史都，我该怎么办？你是个医生。 - What the fuck is going on? - Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
我不知道，让我看看！ I don't know, let me look!
什么？ What?
不要看它！ Don't look at it!
史都华普林斯！回来这里啊！ Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
- 你被射中了！ - 我知道！ - You got shot! - I know!
- 哇，你没事吧？ - 是啊，我没事。 - Whoa, you all right? - Yeah, I'm ok.
其实，子弹只是擦过我的胳膊。缝八针。 Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches.
只花了六块钱。这是咋回事，你信吗？ Only cost six dollars. How is that even possible?
我反正信了！ How's any of this even possible?
如果我是往左边移一点，史都，我嗝屁了。 If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
我们要怎么办？ What are we gonna do?
对不起 你们。这不是计划的一部分。 I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
- 什么计划，艾伦？ - 我已经说太多了。 - What plan, Alan? - I've said too much already.
艾伦！什么计划？ Alan! What plan?
- 这都是泰迪的错。 - 你在说什么，艾伦？ - It's all Teddy's fault. - What are you talking about, Alan?
他为什么要来在这里？他不属于狼群！ Why is he even here? He's not part of the wolf pack!
- 艾伦，你又做什么了？ - 这不是我的错！ - Alan, what did you do? - It's not my fault!
泰迪不应该分享他的东西。 Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
- 什么东西呢？ - 棉花糖。 - What bag? - The marshmallows.
我有一包只为泰迪准备的。 I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
但那时很黑，它是很难保持注意。 But it was dark and it was hard to keep track.
然后，你们几乎坐好了。我不能 知道哪个是哪个。 And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't tell which was which.
- 那时很溷乱！ - 你对棉花糖做了什么，艾伦？ - It was mayhem! - What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
艾伦，你做了什么？ Alan, what did you do?
这不是很明显吗？ Isn't it obvious?
我掺入肌肉松弛剂。和我的ADHD药物。 I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And plus my ADHD medication.
- 什么？ - 你又对我们下迷药？！ - What? - You drugged us again?!
不是要对你们！我只是想搞掉泰迪一会儿，我们才可以享受周末。 Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
享受周末？艾伦，你告诉我，你什么也没做！ Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything!
艾伦，你对上帝发誓的！ Alan, you swore to god!
我只是希望事情保持不变。 I just wanted things to stay the same.
像我的脸一样！你毁了我的一生！ Like at my face! You ruined my life!
你不是我的朋友！ You're not my friend!
别那么说，菲尔！你是认真的？即使在美国也一样？ Don't say that, Phil! You're serious? Even in America?
- 是的！ - 哦，上帝！别那么说，菲尔！ - Yes! - Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
- 不要开始哭，艾伦！ - 你是个恶魔！ - Don't start crying, Alan! - You're the bearded devil!
你喜欢它！你对我微笑时，当我递棉花糖给你时。 You liked it! You smiled at me when I handed you the bag with marshmallows.
因为我喜欢棉花糖，你这变态！ Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho!
嘿！哇！等等！ Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
够了！ Enough!
- 为什么，艾伦？为什么呢？ - 史都！ - Why, Alan? Why? - Stu!
因为我们是三个最好朋友啊，还记得吗？ Because we're the three best friends, remember?
还记得吗？ Remember?
史都，够了... Stu, that's enough...
伙计们，我们不能土崩瓦解了。我们得粘在一起。 Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together.
- 艾伦，写在你的肚子上的是什么？ - 什么？咦？ - Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh?
胜意大酒店，周六下午六时。 Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
- 你写的？ - 不！ - You write that? - No!
妈的，只剩20分钟。 Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
那么英国呢，菲尔？在那里我们还会是朋友吗？ What about England, Phil? Will we still be friends there?
艾伦，我已经告诉你了。现在是紧急状况。我们仍然是朋友。全世界都一样。 Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the moment. We're still friends. All over the world.
- 即使是英国？ - 是啊。 - Even Great Britain? - Yeah.
你呢，史都？ What about you, Stu?
我们等着看看。 We'll see.
先生们，跟着我。 Gentlemen, follow me.
请过去。 Here you go.
嗯。很准时！坐下。 Well. About time! Sit down.
来吧，坐。 Come on, sit.
哇，你们看起来像狗屎。 Wow, you guys look like shit.
- 嗯，我们认识你吗？ - 嘿！ - Uh, do we know you? - Hey!
脱掉你他妈的帽子。看在基督份上 你在一家餐厅耶。拜托。 Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
好吧，听着。我们不清楚发生什么事。 Ok, listen. We have no clue what's going on here.
你知道，他们在这里卖李子威士忌，这绝对是他妈的假的。 You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here, it's fuckin unreal.
说真的，这绝对会整惨你们！哦，我抱歉。你们已经被搞惨了，是吧。 Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
- 嗯，听着，我有点煳涂了。你怎么 ... - 你知道吗？他妈的我也有点煳涂了！ - Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you... - You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
老周在哪里？还有他娘的帐户号码和密码！ Where's Chow? With the fuckin account code and the fuckin password!
我们不知道任何有关密码的事。我们只是想找到我们的朋友。 We don't know anything about any codes. We're just trying to find our friend.
- 泰迪？ - 是的！泰迪！你见过？ - Teddy? - Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
嗯，让我们来看看... Hmm, let's see...
泰迪在这里！ There's Teddy!
真他妈的！这是昨天晚上拍的。 Holy shit! It's from last night.
- 你是谁？ - 我是一个商人。 - Who are you? - I'm a businessman.
我在你的朋友老周处 投入了很大的一笔资金。 And I've invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow.
作为回报，他应该电子转帐给我的利润。 And in return, he was supposed to transfer my profits electronically.
约五分钟前。 About five fuckin minutes ago.
所以，昨天晚上，我们带走了泰迪当作保险。 So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
- 噢，我的上帝！他还好吗？ - 哦，上帝，我还没有说完。 - Oh my god! Is he okay? - Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
你告诉老周，我们会在这家旅馆天台吃早饭... You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast on the roof of this hotel...
...明天早上8时。 ...tomorrow morning at eight am.
或者，如果他转帐了，你会得到泰迪。 Or if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy.
如果那时没有的话，你知道...这里是曼谷。 你们知道了就他妈的离开这里。 If not well then hey, you know... it's Bangkok.
你们知道了就他妈的离开这里。 That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
嘿，你知道吗？留下这顶帽子。 Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
艾伦 留下帽子。 Alan leave the hat.
好小子。 Atta boy.
我们完了！老周死了。现在我们该怎么办？ We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
那家伙才不管老周死活，史都。 整个事情都跟一个该死的银行帐户有关 The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu. This whole things about a fucking bank account.
让我们只是回到了酒店。我们将找回老周的尸体。 Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll search Chow's body.
希望密码在他的钱包或哪里的。 Hopefully the password's in his wallet or something.
- 而如果没有呢？ - 他会杀了泰迪。 - And what if it isn't? - He's gonna kill Teddy.
别紧张。我们到明天上午8时前可以来弄明白。 Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow to figure it out.
首先是猴子，现在是我的帽子。这一天还可以怎么个更糟糕。 First the monkey and now my hat. How much worse can this day get.
耶稣基督！ Jesus christ!
嗯，我们生活在这里艾伦镇。而他却让我们的生活悲惨。 Well we're livin here in Alan town. And he's drivin our lives into the ground.
当我们醒来，我们既没用，也喝醉了。 When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
菲尔被射杀。我们被和尚殴打。 Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
我很高兴，我的生活是好的。 I was happy, and my life was good.
结婚应该像牙医。 Getting married like a dentist should.
在棒子上烤棉花糖。 Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
我在屁股上性交...和一个有裙的女孩。 I got fucked in the ass... by a girl with a dick.
噢，记住这一点。 Oh yeah, remember that.
而且我们生活在艾伦镇。 And we're livin in Alan town.
到处都是水。 There's water everywhere.
是的 因为冰融化了，史都。停电了。 Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The fuckin powers out.
这不足的电力供应着百万人口 With an inadequate electrical grid, serving millions of people
曼谷一年会停电1500次。 Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year.
说真的，艾伦。这就够了！ Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
闪开！ Out of the way!
打开了。 We got it.
天哪！ Oh my god!
老周，冷静下来！ Chow, calm down!
- 你们把我关在冰里吗？ - 不，不！ - You put the chill on me? - No, no!
没关系。 It's okay.
放松！ Relax!
这里只有我们。呼吸！ It's just us. Breathe!
它是如此寒冷。 It was so cold.
- 我们要温暖你。 - 我好冷！ - We're gonna warm you up. - I was so cold!
- 你做得很好，伙计。你做得很好。 - 我做得很好。 - You did good, buddy. You did good. - I did good.
感觉好一点了吗？ Feelin better?
- 好吧，你够暖和了吗？ - 我不知道。 - Alright, you warm enough? - I don't know.
来感觉我的肠子的温度，再告诉我。 Come feel my bowels and tell me.
我被锁在一个他妈的制冰机里 一整天！ I've been locked in a fuckin ice box all day!
嘿 艾伦，如果你想要我的太阳镜 ... Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
...就问老周吧。你没必要杀我。 ...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
...就问老周吧。你没必要杀我。 Chow, nobody killed you. You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse.
哦，你从没做过心肺复苏吗？ Oh, you never do blow before?
有时候你的心跳停止...然后又开始跳。 Sometimes your heart stop... start up again.
- 读读书！ - 我很抱歉。我们这一天很糟糕。 - Read a book! - Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
哦，你们这一天很糟糕！你们有死了吗？ Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
- 我被射杀！ - 但你有死吗？ - I got shot! - But did you die?
老周，一些人告诉我们，你有银行号码或什么 ... Chow, some guy told us that you got a bank code or something...
...如果我们明天早上不把它带给他... ...and if we don't bring it to him first think in the morning...
...他会杀了泰迪。 ...he's gonna kill Teddy.
谁，金斯利？他是无害的。不要担心。 我有银行的号码。 Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry. I got the bank codes.
太好了！好吧，我们得在上午8点见他。 这该死的家伙是谁，随便啦？ Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am. Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
- 投资我的生意的投资者。 - 是啊，什么生意？ - An investor in my business. - Yeah, what business is that?
这就是所谓的「不关你鸟事」好吗！ It's called "not your business" ok!
- 哦，猴子在哪里？ - 猴子... - Oh, where's the monkey? - The monkey...
是的，我把帐号和密码放在它的背心。它在哪儿？ Yeah I put the account number and password in his vest. Where is he?
- 为什么要这么做？ - 为了保管安全，漂亮男孩。 - Why would you do that? - Safe keeping, pretty boy.
很多人在找我。有联邦调查局，曼谷警察，国际刑警组织，MSNBC的... I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
那个小猴子整夜跟我吸食毒品... That little monkey snorting coke with me all night...
帮我手淫 当我看史都干他妈的女男孩时。 Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make fuckin lady boy.
- 它哪儿也没去。 - 我们没有猴子，议员。 - He not going anywhere. - We don't have the monkey, Chow.
哦，一些俄罗斯暴徒把它从我们这里带走。 Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
哦，你他妈的你们！ Oh you fucking guys!
好的。没问题。我们只需要把它弄回来。 Okay. No problem. We just have to get him back.
- 从哪里？ - 从把它带走的同一个地方。 - From where? - From the same place we took him from.
这悟空不是正常的悟空。 This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
每天晚上，猴子带着药物。 Every night, monkey drug mule.
他带古柯硷给买方 ... He take coke to buyer...
把现金交给毒品贩子。它是中间人。 And deliver cash to dealer. He middle man.
毒品贩子从来没有直接处理药物。 Dealer never handle drug directly.
他很干净。 He clean.
- 这真可怕。 - 并不可怕。他在说些什么。他妈的天才。 - That's terrible. - Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
你见过猴子去坐牢吗？ You ever see monkey go to jail?
我们只是为了生意才抓猴子，他靠近了，我们拿他的背心。就是这样。 We just take the monkey for deal, he come close, we take his vest. That's that.
- 我们也可以拿些吸的，你知道...炸弹。 - 不，不要炸弹，老周。 - We get some blow too, you know... bump. - No, no more bumps, Chow.
这真是荒谬。 This is ridiculous.
史都，周先生不能吹口哨。叫一下猴子。 Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your monkey.
好吧，我们走。 Alright, here we go.
来吧！ Come on!
我们昨晚是怎么弄来猴子的呢？ How did we wind up with the monkey last night anyway?
因为我需要一些炸弹 而艾伦觉得它很可爱 ... I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute...
...所以我们就偷走它！ ...so we stole him!
这么笨！ So stupid!
史都，准备抢背心了？ Stu, ready to grab vest?
- 好。我只要抓住它吗？ - 是啊，只是去做。只要做到这一点。 - Okay. I just grab it? - Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
- 嘿，小猴子。 - 艾伦，安静。 - Hey, little monkey. - Alan, be quiet.
- 靠！ - 我们得走了，现在！ - Fuck! - We gotta go, right now!
- 把那该死的猴子拉进来！ - 我试试！ - Pull that fuckin monkey in! - I'm trying!
妈的！ Shit!
- 把那猴子抓过来这里，史都！ - 它不放手！ - Get that monkey in here, Stu! - He won't let go!
史都，快进来车上！现在！ Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
史都，快进来车上！现在！ I'm trying! Slow down!
它好有力！ He's so strong!
放开 你他娘的猴子！ Let go you fuckin monkey!
- 当心！ - 哦，干！抓紧！ - Look out! - Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
我得到它了！ I got him!
- 号码在哪里，老周？ - 检查他的小背心。 - Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest.
- 找到吗，艾伦？ - 是的，我得到了。 - Got it, Alan? - Yes, I got a .
- 慢点，老周！ - 坐稳了，娘炮们！ - Slow down Chow! - Hold on, J-Birds.
真他妈的！ Holy Shit!
不要担心。我来这一招！ Don't worry. I got this shit!
猪啊！ Pig!
噢，我的天。 Oh, my word.
对不起，史都！我的错！ Sorry, Stu! My bad!
噢，该死！ Oh, shit!
趴下！ Get down!
什么他妈的！ What the fuck!
哦，不！他在射猴子！ Oh no! He shot the monkey!
他们射中了猴子。 They shot the monkey.
我束手无策了。 I'm at my wits end.
他又回来了。 He's coming back around.
当心！ Look out!
- 他妈的！ - 哦，不... - Holy fuck! - Oh no...
- 每个人都还好吗？ - 是啊。 - Everyone alright? - Yeah.
我现在有如此的勃起！ I have such an erection right now!
你是说真的吗？ Are you for real?
他们会好好照顾你，好吧。 They're gonna take good care of you here, ok.
那是什么？ What's that?
哦，是啊。香烟。放在这里。拿去吧。 Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here. Here you go.
就在这里。 Right here.
深吸一口。好。 Deep breathe. Good.
吸进去 Soak it in.
吸烟到你的小肺部里。吸吧。 Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. There you go.
这很有趣。我从来没有成为抽烟者，但... It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker, but...
它在你身上看起来很酷。 Boy does it look cool on you.
艾伦，来吧！我们走吧！ Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
我会想念你，猴子。 I'll miss you, monkey.
我希望猴子能够使用Skype。 I wish monkeys could Skype.
也许有一天... Maybe one day...
来吧！进来！ Come on! Get in!
你们还真冷静？ Are you guys seriously this calm?
放松，史都尔特。这是典型的逆转胜。 Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
我给他钱，他给我们泰迪。 I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
你曾碰过事情搞僵后 无法收拾吗，老周？ You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
我是一个国际罪犯。它总是会这样结束。 I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this.
我在某件事时认识了我妻子。 I met my wife at one of these things.
- 你有妻子吗？ - 是啊，我们结婚 15年。 - You got a wife? - Yeah, we married 15 years.
怎样，我是不够好看可以娶个女人？ What, I not good looking enough for woman?
不，这很酷。 No, that's cool.
开工！ Let's do this!
- 欢迎来到塔俱乐部。 - 废话，废话，废话，谁在乎。 - Welcome to the Tower Club. - Blah blah blah, who cares.
停！老周在靠近。 Stop! Chow crossing.
- 嘿，金斯利！ - 好，好。 - Hey, Kingsley! - Well, well.
柔沛看起来不错！ Propecia looking nice!
你一直在健身房做健身？ You been hitting the gym?
是的，真的有。谢谢你有注意到，老周。 Yes I am actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow.
嗨，伙计们。请坐。 Hey, guys. Have a seat.
- 泰迪在哪里？ - 他在楼下我的车中等候。 - Where's Teddy? - He's waiting downstairs in my car.
当转帐完成 就送他上来。 Send him up when the transfer is complete.
告诉你吧。给我额外的5万美元，你就把泰迪留着吧。 Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy.
我再免费帮你增肥。 And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
- 老周 ..老周 ... - 我们可以快点进行吗！ - Chow.. Chow... - Could we move this along!
艾伦，帐号。来吧，来吧。 Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
8-1-4，K 是刀子knife的K，2-3-9-8。 8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
- 密码？ - 「baloney1」(一派胡言) - Password? - "baloney1"
您的密码是「baloney1」？ Your password is "baloney1" ?
那么 它曾经只是「胡扯」而已，但 现在他们要你加个号码。 Well it used to be just "baloney" but now they make you add number.
他妈的烦人。 Fuckin annoying.
- 这就是这么简单。 - 哇赛！ - And it's that easy. - Ta dah!
哦，看。你投资我的战舰。 Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
- 太好了，现在我们可以有请泰迪？ - 是啊。带他上来。 - Great, now can we please have Teddy? - Yeah. Bring him up.
看。我们去参加你的婚礼。我们会很好玩。我可以吃核果。 See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I bust a nut.
我们成功了，史都。结束了！ We did it, Stu. It's over!
这是曼谷警察！都趴下！ This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
哦，疯了！ Oh, nuts!
金斯利，你是他妈的条子?？ Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
没错，莱斯利！ Gotcha, Leslie!
把他带走。 Get him outta here.
走！快点走！走！ Go! Just do it! Go!
他妈的怎么 ... How the fuck...
萨米尔，你为了六百多美元坑我？ 您这个骑骆驼的！ Samir, you fucked me over six grand? You camel jockey!
你吐痰？ You spit on me?
这次六千，上次八千。这跟钱无关，兄弟，这是原则问题！ Six grand this time, eight grand last time. It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
原则？黑鬼，拜托你！我们内心早就没原则了。 Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
叫我黑鬼...不要叫我「黑鬼」！ Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
- 把他带走，溷蛋！ - 他是一个溷蛋，伙计。 - Put em in, motherfucker! - He's an asshole, man.
你们好吗？ You guys ok?
- 妈的怎么回事？ - 探长彼得斯，国际刑警组织。 - What the fucks going on? - Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
- 你是警察？ - 是的。 - You're a cop? - Yes.
这卧底行动已进行几个星期了。 This sting operation has been in place for weeks.
当萨米尔告诉我们，您的朋友丢了... When Samir told us that your friend was lost...
我们利用了这个资讯。我很抱歉。 We took advantage of that information. I'm sorry.
- 所以可以把泰迪从车里放出来吧？ - 不，艾伦，泰迪不在他妈的车里！ - So can Teddy come out of the car now? - No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
他们没有抓他。他们从来没有抓他。 They don't have him. They never had him.
他们只是利用我们 把老周带来。 他们利用泰迪作为诱饵。 They just needed us to bring them Chow. They used Teddy as bait.
- 你有什么线索呢？ - 不，我们每个地方都查过了。 - Do you have any leads at all? - No. We've checked everywhere.
没有人见过他。我很抱歉。 No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
如果你直到现在还没有找到他，我恐怕曼谷已经拥有他了。 If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid Bangkok has him.
为什么人们一直这么说？ Why do people keep saying that?
史都 ...时间到了。 Stu... It's time.
艾伦 ... Alan...
- 我很抱歉。 - 不要这样说。 -I'm sorry. - Don't say that. Please.
- 不，这一次我们真的搞砸了。 - 哦，上帝！怎么个糟法？ - No this time we really fucked up. - Oh god! How bad?
像是，无法结婚？ Like, no wedding bad?
是啊...比这个再糟一点点！ Yeah... a little worse than that!
好了，这个怎么样？他从渔船上摔下来 然后淹死。 Ok, how about this? He fell off the fishing boat and drowned.
不 No.
好吧，我知道了。泰迪被卡车撞了。 Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
- 艾伦！ - 现在别找我，菲尔。我有点儿忙！ - Alan! - Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
这里有多少人被辗过？ How many people get run over here?
- 每年 1.2潘 ，菲尔。 - 太完美了！ - Over 1200 a year, Phil. - Perfect!
他的尸体因为损伤严重而无法复原。 结桉。 His body was too mangled to recover. Case closed.
我可以要更多的冰吗，好吗？ Can I get more ice, please?
我不想骗萝拉。 I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
- 史都，你到底要不要？ - 看我做了什么，菲尔。我做了什么。 - Stu, do you want this or not? - Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
我有召妓的缺点。各种妓女，很显然。 I have a weakness for prostitutes. All kinds, apparently.
- 我内心有一个魔鬼！ - 那又怎么样呢？ - I have a demon in me! - So what?
泰迪走了，但我还可以拯救萝拉。 Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
只要她的生活里没有我。 Just let her live her life without me.
史都！ Stu!
我要你打电话给 道格 告诉他我一直没有回来。 I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back.
要停止这种循环。 Gettin off the hamster wheel.
我要留在曼谷。 我想我属于这里。 Gonna stay here in Bangkok. I think I belong here.
开一家小间牙医院。 Open up a little dentists office.
帮人做深层清洗，结局快乐。 Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
你确定吗？ You sure about this?
嘿，搞什么飞机！ Hey, what the crud!
停电了，艾伦。 Powers out, Alan.
- 菲尔！ - 道格。 - Phil! - Doug.
- 我需要回答，伙计。 - 我知道... - I need answers, man. - I know...
道格，你和谁说话？ Doug, who are you talking to?
- 什么？ - 给我电话！ - What? - Give me the phone!
萝拉，不！这是一个私人... Lauren, no! That's a private...
这是谁？ Who is this?
- 萝拉？ - 菲尔？告诉我这是怎么回事，马上！ - Lauren? - Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
我们失去了你的小兄弟。 We lost your little brother.
- 什么？ - 曼谷拥有他了。 - What? - Bangkok has him now.
你必须走楼梯。 You gotta take the stairs.
你在曼谷？ You're in Bangkok?
哦，这是一个手指！ Ooh, that's a finger!
叫史都接手机！ Put Stu on the phone!
曼谷每年停电1500次。 Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year.
曼谷每年停电1500次。 Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
- 到处都是水。停电了。 - Water everywhere. Powers out.
来吧，史都，用用你的犹太人大脑 Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
菲尔！把电话给我！ Phil! Give me the phone!
- 那是萝拉！我知道！我能处理！ - 我知道。！ - It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it! - I know.!
- 把那妈的电话给我 ... - 我可以处理，史都！ - Give me the fuckin... - I can handle it, Stu!
她会伤了你的心！ She's gonna break your heart!
亲爱的，亲爱的，是我！我很抱歉！ Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
史都？这到底是怎么回事？他说你失去泰迪是什么意思？ Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he mean you lost Teddy?
什么？这就是菲尔说的吗？不不不。我们跟泰迪约错了。 What? Is that what Phil said? No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
但是我们都没事了。我们将回酒店了。很快看到您！ But we're all good now. We heading back to the hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
我如此爱你！ 但我得走了，很快回去。再见。 I love you so much! And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye.
史都！ Stu!
- 史都！ - 天哪！ - Stu! - God!
计程车！ Taxi!
来吧，艾伦！ Come on, Alan!
嘿，你可以跟我们说说吧！ Hey, you mind filling us in!
好了，现在当我们醒来时，停电了。 Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
而你发现 泰迪的手指在哪吗？ And you found Teddy's finger in what?
- 在水盆中。 - 但里面并没有融成水。 - In a pool of water. - But it didn't start out as water.
不，里面是冰。 No, it was ice.
没错！泰迪从制冰机里拿了冰... Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
...回到房间。把他的手指冰起来 就又去睡了。 ...came back to the room. Put his finger on ice and fell asleep.
现在，你会怎么做，如果你醒来 ..... Now what do you do if you wake up...
.....，你发现你的手指漂浮一碗融化的冰？ ...and you find your finger floating in a bowl of melted ice?
我会去拿更多的冰，史都 ... 他妈的15楼！ I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th fuckin floor!
是啊！泰迪上楼时，停电了 ... Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
- 我的妈阿！当然！ - 他在制冰机。 - Holy shit! Of course! - He's at the ice machine.
艾伦，不！ Alan, no!
电梯是在十楼！ It's on ten!
- 先生，电梯卡住了？ - 是。 - Sir, is the elevator stuck? - ??.
- 来吧！ - 走吧，走吧，走吧！ - C'mon! - Go, go, go!
嘿，泰迪！ Hey, Teddy!
当心，当心！ Look out, look out!
- 泰迪！ - 你还好吧！ - Teddy! - You're ok!
泰迪，你没事吧？你没事吧，伙计？ Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
- 我在哪里？ - 你在电梯里，曼谷的一个地方。 - Where am I? - You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
但是我们会带你离开这儿。一切会没事的。 But we're gonna get you outta here. It's gonna be fine.
嘿 史都，漂亮的纹身。 Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
谢谢你，伙计。 Thanks, man.
好吧，我们走吧！来吧，来吧！ Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
告诉他，我们找到了他了。是啊，我知道。但是我们在回去路上。好吧，再见！ Tell him we found him. Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
好吧，客人正在抵达，人们开始问问题，但我们仍然可以搞定的！ Alright, guests are arriving, people starting to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!
- 如何？ - 我不知道，坐计程车吗？ - How? - I don't know, with a taxi?
- 老周的快艇。 - 什么？ - Chow's speed boat. - What?
最后我想我记得，我们从老周的快艇下船。 Last think I remember, was getting off Chow's speed boat.
- 老周有快艇？ - 叫「完美生活」。 - Chow has a speed boat? - "The Perfect Life".
来吧！ C'mon!
史都，把缆绳解开。 Stu, get that back line.
跳的好，菲尔！ Good jump, Phil!
- 你还好吗？ - 是啊。 - You alright? - Yeah.
- 你确定你知道如何驾驶这东西？ - You sure you know how to drive this thing?
拜托，我从小在一个游艇俱乐部长大。我 知道我在做什么。 Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I know what I'm doing.
你知道我们要去哪里吗？ You know where we're going?
全部交给船长！ Leave it to the Captain!
哦，你他妈的，艾伦！ Oh fuck you, Alan!
你知道我们要去哪里吗，船长？ Do you know where we're going, Captain?
当然知道！ 我们往南方。 Affirmative cadet! We're going south.
- 我们在泰国湾。 - 非常好。 - We're in the Gulf of Thailand. - Good.
嘿！你没事吧？ Hey! You okay?
- 感觉好一点了。 - 好吧！ - Feeling a little better. - Alright!
听着 泰迪。我真的很抱歉！我们没有想到会有这种情况发生。 Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't mean for any of this to happen.
这很有趣。我什么都不记得 但是...当我醒来时，我还挺高兴。 It's funny. I can't remember anything But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
是啊！ Yeah!
顺便说一下...你知道我的手指在哪儿吗？ By the way... Do you have any idea where my finger is?
是啊，我们给了一苹做毒品交易的猴子。 Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing monkey.
在曼谷... Bangkok...
是的，不错 ...他妈的曼谷！ Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
我道歉。将不会有婚礼了！ I apologize. There will be no wedding!
他是在路上了。他将回来这里 ... He is on his way. He will be here...
拜托大家，如果你们全部移到酒吧去。 那我们要清理这个区域了。 Please, if you will all move to the bar. We are going to clear this area.
请！ Please!
我告诉你，我和他说过话。他要回来了。 I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
瞧！他们在那里！ Look! There they are!
史都！ Stu!
- 艾伦，这里没有码头。 - 那就坚持一下吧！ - Alan, there's no dock. - Just hang on!
- 艾伦，这不有趣！把船转回去！ - 坚持！ - Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat! - Hang on!
- 是艾伦在驾驶船吗？ - 什么？ - Is that Alan driving the boat? - What?
嗯，那我们也许应该退后一点点。 Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
天哪！ Oh my god!
把船转头！ Turn the boat!
每个人都退后一点点。 Everyone back up a little bit here.
先生，事情在变得更好之前 会先变得更糟 。 Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
嗨！大家好！ Hi! Hi everybody!
这比我们预计的还要过来一点点。 对不起，我们占据了这块草坪。 Came in a little hotter than we planned. I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
完全可以解决的。一点点的草皮而已，没关系。 Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll be fine.
- 宝贝！ - 噢，我的上帝！ - Baby! - Oh my god!
我好高兴见到你！ I'm so happy to see you!
- 泰迪！泰迪 过来。 - 嗨，爸爸！ - Teddy! Teddy here. - Hi, Dad!
- 你还好吗？ - 是啊，好吧。 - You alright? - Yeah, ok.
- 你的手！ - 我知道。 - Your hand! - I know.
我们出了意外。我还好。 We had an accident. I'm ok.
这都是你的错！ This is your fault!
- 爸爸。 - 他是对的。我并不是完全地诚实。 - Dad. - He's right. I have not been completely honest.
- 史都？别这样做。 ，是吗？ - Stu? Don't do this. -Yeah?
谢谢你，菲尔，但还是得这么做。 Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
你说我是米汁. 但我不是。 You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
我不是有点怪异，奶状的，米做的，水样的 拿来喂婴儿和老人的，好吗！ I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
也许我会是，如果你添加了一些辣椒的话！ Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper!
我希望我是一个无聊的牙医 ... I wish I was a boring dentist...
...拥有无聊乏味的生活和朋友... ...who had a boring life and boring friends...
...但我不是，我也没有。 ... but I don't and I'm not.
实际上，我的一部分是奇怪的狼群。 I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
这不奇怪。这实际上很酷。我们不收会员费。 It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.
我已经受够了。到这里来。 I've had enough of this. Come here.
我已经受够了。到这里来。 Whoa! Here's the deal man.
- 我有黑暗的一面！ - I got a dark side!
我体内有一个魔鬼(demon)！ There's a demon in me!
这是真的，他体内有精液(semen)。 It's true, he has semen in him.
我说的是恶魔(demon)。 I said demon.
- 但你也有精液 记得吗？ - 这不相干，但是谢谢你，艾伦。 - But you also have semen in you, remember? - Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
问题是，这个恶魔带我去一些非常奇怪的地方。 The point is, this demon takes me to some pretty weird places.
我们在曼谷 失去了泰迪两天。 We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
但同样的恶魔带我们到地狱并找回他。 But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him.
我们对抗曼谷 而我们赢了。 We took on Bangkok and we won.
现在，如果你问我 我可是很他妈的非常冷静！ Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
我爱你的女儿，我也会娶她。 I love your daughter, and I'm gonna marry her.
- 除非你有什么问题吗？？ - 我很好。 - Unless you have any problem with that? - I'm good.
但是，大家都这么说，实际上这对我们来说是重要的... But all that said, it would actually mean a great deal to both of us...
...如果我们可以得到你妈的祝福！ ...if we could just get your mother fucking blessing!
嘿，艾伦 ... Hey, Alan...
- 剃光头这看起来很酷。 - 谢谢，菲尔。 - That looks pretty cool shaved. - Thanks, Phil.
你也应该剃光头了。 You should shave your head too.
- 为什么我要这么做？ - 嗯，这样我们看上去会一模一样。 - Why would I do that? - Well than we would look exactly alike.
- 照顾好我的女儿，史都。 - 我会的。 - Take good care of my daughter, Stu. - I will.
对不起，那艘船差点杀死每个人。 I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat.
好高兴只要你在这里。 Just happy you're here.
也不要担心纹身。一回洛杉矶我会尽快的用雷射清除它。 And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
- 没关系。我能适应它的。 - 真的吗？ - That's ok. I can get used to it. - Really?
但现在，让我们换个位置？ But for now, let's switch sides?
- 是啊，好吧。 - 谢谢你。 - Yeah, ok. - Thank you.
好多了。 Much better.
亲爱的家人和朋友。代表史都和萝拉 ... Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
...我欢迎你们，这场结婚庆典。 ...I welcome all of you, to this marriage celebration.
今天我们在这里 ... We are here today to...
嗨，老兄。你能暂停一下子吗。 Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
谢谢。 Thank you.
哈喽？大家好！ Hello? Hi everyone!
我叫艾伦加纳。 My name's Alan Garner.
我要感谢亚洲人民 让我们站在你们的土地上。 I want to thank the Asiatic people for allowing us in your land.
我想说，嗯，我真的很高兴在这里 ... I wanted to say that, um, I'm really happy to be here...
...我有一个结婚礼物要送给萝拉和史都。 ...and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu.
嗯，它代表了许多的意义 ... And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
...我希望你能像我一样地欣赏它，或者将欣赏它。 ...and I hope that you appreciate it as much as I did, or going to.
好吧，大伙们！ Okay, guys!
哦，他妈的！ Oh, fuck!
艾伦！ Alan!
这是什么他妈的？ What the fuck?
- 所以你觉得如何？ - 这是疯了！你是怎么做到的？ - So what do ya think? - That's insane! How did you do that?
我爸爸不得不打了很多的电话。 My dad had to make a lot of calls.
我告诉迈克，你总是得做的。这是给我的三个最好的朋友。 I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's for my third best friend.
艾伦，这太神奇了！我喜欢它！谢谢你！ Alan, it's amazing! I love it! Thank you so much!
我们只有今晚能请到他。我们不能一直唱下去。 We only have him for tonight. We don't have him permanently.
理解！ Understood!
- 你做过很多次的公众演讲，艾伦？ - 我几乎没有过？？ - You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? - I barely ??
迈克，你真是伟大。这是真的，那真是难以置信。 Mike, you were great. It's true, that was incredible.
谢谢你们。对我意义重大，真的！ Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
顺便说一下，你真的需要从你的脸上移除他妈的纹身！ By the way, you really need to remove that fuckin tattoo from your face!
是啊！会做的！ Yeah! On it!
很抱歉在最后一刻改变了节目，迈克。 Sorry about the last minute change up to the performance, Mike.
- 别担心，艾伦。 - 你在说什么？ - Don't worry, Alan. - What are you talking about?
他原本应该唱乔纳斯兄弟的「烧起来」... Well he was originally supposed to sing "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
...可是我记得你不喜欢独立摇滚。 ...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
嘿，大家。你们不会相信这个的。 Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
- 那是你的电话吗？ - 是啊。 - Is that your phone? - Yeah.
你怎么从来没有想过要打电话给我们呢？ How come you never tried calling us?
它已经停机两天了。 It's been dead for two days.
但我重新充电后发现这些照片。 But I recharged it and found all these photos.
什么？ What?
- 妈的！ - 是呀，有些是相当溷乱的。 - Shit! - Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
- 真棒，让我们检查看看。 - 哇，哇，哇！ - Awesome, let's check em out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
没有人需要看到这种东西！ No one needs to see this stuff!
来吧，兄弟！我是Mike泰森。我已经看到了一切了！ C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
- 没事的。 - (喃喃自语) - It'll be fine. - (mumbles something)
- 好吧，我们再看一次。 - 然后我们删除掉。没关系的。 - Alright, we look at it once. - And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
- 哦，哦！ - 操他妈的！ - Oh, ooh! - Mother fucker!
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